How Do I Live
by Annie
URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asa/annie/ilive.php
Summary: Thoughts about a missing partner.
He sat at their table in the commissary and stared at something unseen to everyone else in the room. Well technically it wasn't their table as anyone in the SGC could sit at it, but somehow everyone knew that when SG-1 were on base this was 'their' table. No one wanted to disturb him, it was obvious he was somewhere they couldn't follow, somewhere where no one but he visited.
They all knew why he was sitting there miserable and alone, he had lost not only a team mate but also a friend and none of them could say anything to make him feel any better. Sam and Teal'c were there to be a shoulder to lean on but he knew Sam in particular had other things to do. The one thing they didn't know was the fact he had lost his lover.
How do I get through a night without you?
If I had to live without you, what kind of life would that be?
Since when did they play music in the commissary?
Oh I, I need you in my arms to hold
You're my world my heart my soul
And why oh why had someone chosen to play a love song by LeAnn Rimes?
If you ever leave
Well baby you would take away everything good in my life
And tell me now
Everything good in his life had been taken away from him on that planet and it was hard to believe that things would get better no matter what anyone said had over the last three months.
How do I live without you?
I want to know
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
He managed to breath, just. As for surviving, that was an all-together different matter.
Without you there'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There'd be no world left for me
And I, oh baby I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you
He couldn't sit in Sam's lab as she tried to get her latest project to work, he couldn't see the haunted look in her eyes that had been there since that fateful day.
If you ever leave
Well baby you would take away everything real in my life
And tell me now
That's when he thought that maybe the last three months hadn't been real; he would open his eyes and see the rest of his team, all of them, sitting at the table talking about the latest movie they had watched. Opening them, he saw he was alone.
How do I live without you?
I want to know
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
Well how did he live without him? Not very well according to what Janet had said to him just that morning, he was losing weight and she had lectured him on missing meals.
Please tell me baby
How do I go on?
Yeah, someone please tell him how he was meant to go on.
If you ever leave
Well baby you would take away everything
Need you with me
Baby don't you know that you're everything good in my life
And tell me now
Everything had been taken away when his lover had failed to come back from that mission. The person who had made him happy hadn't returned even though they were still needed, and would always be needed, to provide love, joy, security and friendship.
How do I live without you?
I want to know
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
He had to live, had to breathe and survive to honour the man who wasn't there anymore.
How do I live without you?
How do I live without you baby?
He knew deep down he had to carry on even though last night he had given up hope. They hadn't been together for long and there was one simple reason why.
Dr Daniel Jackson had been married to Sha're.
Neither of them had told the other what they felt until they knew, once and for all, what was going to happen to the young Abydonian woman. Once it was clear she would no longer be in Daniel's life it had still taken time before either man had said the words 'I love you' to the other. As he drank the last of his coffee and placed the mug on the table he wondered if he would ever hear those words again as someone rushed up to the table.
"It works."
Daniel looked up into the tired but elated eyes of Major Samantha Carter.
"General Hammond has said we can try it immediately. Do you want to come watch?"
"What we waiting for?" Daniel asked as he got up and followed her to the control room.
Hope rose once again in the archaeologist and he inwardly apologised to his lover for his temporary lack of faith as he realised, fickle fates willing, Jack would be coming home from Edora.
