Nurse Nympho And The Drunken Archaeologist

by Annie

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asa/annie/nympho.php
Summary: Drunken Daniel. Jealous Jack. Nympho Nurse

"Why do I have to have it here?" Jack asked whilst getting things ready for the party being held at his house. "Why can't it be held at the base? Which, may I add, can hold a heck of a lot more people than my back yard."

"Come on, sir, it won't be that bad. You'll be..."

"What, Carter? I'll be what?"

Sam looked to Janet for some help. It had been hard enough to persuade him to host the party and they hadn't counted on him still being difficult five days later.

"We can't have it at work, Colonel, NORAD are holding their own party in the grounds and asked that the SGC aren't present," Janet answered.

"For crying out loud! We work in the same mountain. It's a big mountain. How much room do they need?"

"General Hammond agreed to hold the gathering at another location, O'Neill. Yours was the location of choice," Teal'c supplied. It was the first thing he had said since arriving, apart from his customary greeting of O'Neill.

"Hi guys," Daniel said as he walked into the kitchen and headed to the fridge to get two bottles of beer, oblivious to the discussion. He had been out in the yard with Ferretti arranging some furniture and hadn't realised the others had arrived until Cassie had gone over to say hello.

"Hi Daniel."

"Daniel Jackson."

"Looking good," Janet exclaimed raising her eyebrows in approval, then seeing the looks on everyone's faces said, "Well he is."

Daniel blushed. He never could take a compliment. Besides he was only wearing an old pair of blue jeans (that looked as if they'd been sprayed on), a white shirt and sneakers. It was warm so he'd undone a few buttons and as a result quite a bit of his chest was showing; he didn't understand Janet's reaction having no clue what the sight of his naked chest could do to a person.

"Umm, thanks Janet," he replied. "So what's going on?"

"Talks about the fact that these two," Jack answered as he waved his hand at the majors, "are holding the party here and I didn't get a say in the matter."

"Oh. I'll come back later." Daniel turned to leave.

Sensing the sudden discomfort of the archaeologist Jack said, "Daniel?"

Turning back Daniel muttered, "Yes?"

"What did you do?"

"I kinda, sorta... I suggested they speak to you."

"Excuse me?"

"Come on, Jack. It'll be fun. They promised to clean up before everyone leaves," Daniel protested, ignoring the shocked expressions on the faces of the two women who hadn't promised anything of the kind. "Besides, this way you don't have to provide any food or drink and it's a nice easy way to have a celebration with someone else having the headache of arranging it."

"And it's going to give everyone the perfect chance to celebrate Daniel's birthday since SG-1 will be doing training scenarios with Elliot's team next Monday," Sam chipped in. "After all he only turns thirty-six once."

Jack looked at the younger man, who appeared as if he was about to object to the idea, so quickly said, "Okay I'll stop griping and we're doing Independence and Daniel's birthday in one go. We are still going out for the meal on Monday though, aren't we?"

When Daniel and Sam both nodded, Jack smiled. "Cool."

The group spent the next hour making sure everything was ready for the party, Jack even helped by getting the grill ready after having said, "No-one but me touches it." Soon people started arriving so Sam put some music on, drinks were handed out and greetings were made whilst smells of cooking wafted through the garden after Jack added the meat to the grill.

"Thanks sir," Sam said as Jack placed a burger onto her plate a short while later.

"For heavens sake, Carter, how many times do I need to tell you? We're off duty, it's safe to call me Jack once in a while ya know."

"Yes sir, I mean, Jack. You realise in return you'll need to call me Sam," she replied.

"I think I can cope. So, having fun?" Jack asked. The party had been going on for almost two hours; everyone was taking the opportunity of the hot summer day and the fact it was a holiday, to relax and forget about work.

"I am actually, it's turning out to be a great afternoon. Mind you some people are having slightly more fun than others."

"Yeah, I saw Nurse Nympho turned up earlier. What on earth is she wearing?"

"Not wearing you mean," Janet said as she joined the two of them at the grill. She didn't react to Jack's nickname for a member of her staff; it was one of the kindest she had heard. "She's a great nurse but sometimes I despair. I'm just glad she doesn't wear that in the infirmary."

"Umm, you might have some problems with high blood pressure if she did," Jack replied with a grin.

The nurse in question, Louise, was wearing a blue shirt and a pair of pants with the American flag printed on them. Her shirt was completely undone and underneath was only a two inch wide band of leather with the word 'Freedom' spelt out in studs. Thankfully the leather was around her breasts so at least some of her dignity was intact and quite a few of the men were standing around her. Including SG-1's archaeologist.

"What's Daniel doing over there? I thought he was with Cassie," Jack asked as he noticed Daniel's position for the first time.

"She wanted to give him a birthday present," Janet answered.

As they watched someone in the group said something that made Louise pull a face, clearly upset. Daniel, a bottle of beer in his right hand, leant over so he could say something in her ear and the smile she gave him in return could have melted the Arctic Circle. Jack was sure the temperature went up by at least 10 degrees.

"And what would that be? Definitely not her virtue seeing as she gave that away a long time ago by the look of it," Jack muttered under his breath, the grin no longer on his face.

Sam giggled and took a sip of her drink as Janet answered, "The bandana actually. When I left they were discussing the merits of a bandana over a boonie. Louise liked the bandana, hence the gift, and Daniel liked the boonie."

Jack smiled at that. Daniel wearing the boonie was his personal favourite as well, that and nothing at all which was the best look as far as Jack was concerned. Looking at the younger man, Jack saw he was wearing a bandana made of the same material as Louise's pants and that sometime during the last hour all the buttons of his shirt had become undone. As the small group watched, Louise put her hand on Daniel's chest as he finished his drink and trailed it slowly down towards the top of his jeans.

"That's it," Jack snarled.

Seeing her CO was intending to go over to where Daniel was currently being handed another drink, Sam put a hand on Jack's arm and softly said, "I think it'd be best if someone else went. Don't you, Jack?"

Jack let out a sigh, nodded and said, "I'm going inside."

Sam and Janet watched as he walked into the house then looked at each other.

"There goes one seriously unhappy man."

"Tell me about it. If Daniel's not careful he's going to have a lot of apologising to do before the day is over," Sam commented.

Both majors knew about the relationship between the two men, Sam having seen it grow and Janet's suspicions finally being confirmed during a medical. The only other person who knew was Teal'c and all three had agreed that no one else needed to know. Laughter made them turn to where the group where standing on the other side of the yard and Janet's jaw dropped when she saw what the laughter was about.

"Please tell me I need my eyes checking," Sam pleaded.

"Depends on what you think you're seeing, "Janet replied. "If you're seeing Daniel collapsed on the floor covered in beer with Louise sitting on his chest then no, you don't need your eyes testing."

"That's what I thought."

"Daniel Jackson."

Unaware he was the subject of Sam and Janet's conversation: Daniel lay on the ground and looked up to see Teal'c standing over him.

"Hi Teal'c. Howsyadoing?"

"Daniel Jackson, you appear to be suffering from intoxication."

"Nah only had...umm only had three drinks. No four. I've only had six drinks."

"This is not your normal beverage of choice, this is the drink of O'Neill."

"Nope this is..."

Daniel looked at the bottle in his hand, brining it within three inches of his face as he tried to make out the label.

"Oopsie. This is Jack's. Why do I have Jack's drink, Teal'c?"

"I know not, but consider it time that you accompany me inside."

"Okaaaaay."

"Hey! Hunky monkey is staying here with me," Louise said as Daniel made to move her from where she was sitting.

"Daniel Jackson is in fact going to accompany me inside Nurse Craine," Teal'c stated. Seeing he wasn't joking Louise moved to sit on the ground.

"Gotta go with Teal'c now. He's a Jaffa and shouldn't be... shouldn't be... He shouldn't be messed with," Daniel declared as he managed to stand. "Hey Teal'c."

"Bye bye hunky monkey," Louise sadly said as she waved at her lost drinking partner.

"Bye Nurse Nympho."

Raising a hand and pointing in the direction of the house Daniel didn't see Louise's outraged expression as he ordered, "Lead me home, Teal'c."

Somehow Teal'c managed to get Daniel across the yard and when they reached the deck Sam and Janet were on hand to help him navigate Daniel into the house.

"Hi Sam. Hi Janet. I love you guys."

The women rolled their eyes and were helping Daniel onto the sofa as Jack walked in. When he saw the state Daniel was in, Jack headed towards the kitchen re-emerging a few seconds later with a mug of coffee. He handed it over without saying a word.

"Jack! Hiya Jack. How comes I had your drink Jack, didn't you want it?" Daniel asked as he waved the mug in the air.

"Come on, Daniel, drink your coffee," Sam ordered as she stopped Daniel from waving the mug and spilling the hot liquid over the two of them.

"What's he going on about now?" Jack wanted to know.

"Daniel Jackson was under the impression he was drinking his normal beverage," Teal'c explained. "He was shocked to find he was drinking your choice of beer."

"Well, that explains it," Jack said as he rolled his eyes. His beer was more than three times the strength of the one Daniel drank and if the younger man had been drinking those all afternoon...

"Sheesh Danny, I can't take you anywhere."

Daniel looked up from his coffee with, what Jack considered, was a dopey grin and happily told the group that 'Jack could take him wherever he wanted whenever he wanted however he wanted.'

Making sure there wasn't anyone around to hear that announcement, Janet decided that maybe a shower would be useful in helping Daniel recover from his stupor. Jack agreed and between them he and Teal'c managed to manhandle what was an almost dead weight. Once they had made it to the bathroom Jack told Teal'c he could take it from there and soon found himself alone with Daniel.

With what could only be described as an evil grin, Jack manoeuvred Daniel into the shower stall and turned the spray on. Five minutes later Daniel realised where he was.

"Why am I in the shower?"

"You needed to clean up. Feeling better?"

"Umm, yeah. But why did I need to clean up Jack? And why would I need to be cleaned up when I'm still in my clothes?"

"Because you got covered in beer Daniel. Are you okay to get out now?"

"Uh huh," he replied. Then seeing the look on Jack's face he asked, "What's wrong?"

"We can talk about it later when you feel better."

"I feel fine."

"You're drunk, Daniel."

"You're jealous, Jack."

"What I don't understand is why Nurse Nympho thought it was okay to have her hands all over your chest. And I notice you don't deny being drunk either."

"She didn't have her hands... I'm not drunk I'm pleasantly merry," Daniel exclaimed as he realised what Jack was implying. "At least I was until you drenched me. Thanks for that, by the way."

"Ask Sam or Janet. Heck, ask anyone who was here and they'll tell you she was all over you like poison ivy. And before you go on about it again, damn straight I'm jealous! I'm pissed that my partner seems to think it's all right to flirt with the majority of the SGC!" Jack practically shouted before walking out of the bathroom.

Daniel was about to shout at the retreating back when Jack's words penetrated his brain. Jack was jealous? Jack considered Daniel to be his partner?

They had been together for a while now but 'the' conversation had yet to happen, and as Daniel stood under the spray he realised the fact it hadn't was his fault. Jack had tried to talk about what was happening between them but he had always stopped the older man, he hadn't wanted to discuss things and it wasn't till this moment that Daniel realised why he had been so reluctant. With this revelation Daniel quickly turned off the water, left the shower stall and headed into the bedroom. Jack was sitting on the edge of the bed and looked up when he heard footsteps.

"I'm sorry... Daniel you're getting water all over the carpet!"

"I love you."

"Say again?"

"I said 'I love you'. I just realised I've never told you, that I never let you know this is it for me. That this is the one."

"So why haven't you?"

"Because if I said those words I'd lose you, like mom and dad. Like Sha're. I couldn't cope with that and thought if the fates didn't know what I felt then you'd be safe. We'd be okay."

"It doesn't work like that Daniel, the shit will happen if you say what you feel or not. That's why you have to say it, because if it does I'd know this wasn't just some casual fling on your part seeing as you couldn't have Sha're in your life."

Daniel crossed to where Jack was and knelt down in front of the sitting man.

"Don't ever think that. I love you Jack O'Neill and I want to spend the rest of our lives together. You'll be fishing whilst I read, later on I'll bitch because you won't let me watch the latest documentary seeing as the hockey game is being re-run. This has never been just some 'buddy fuck' for me."

Jack placed his hand on Daniel's cheek and whispered, "That wasn't so hard was it."

Daniel shook his head and whispered back, "No."

"I love you too, Daniel. You showed me my heart when I thought I'd lost it and helped me feel more than just pain. What we have is more important to me than anything else and that includes the Air Force."

"How did we end up in this sap fest? This isn't what our relationship is going to be like from now on is it, all these declarations of love and foreverness?"

"Well first of all you started us off on this route. Secondly, you better believe there's going to be declarations of love from now on, they just won't be happening all the time. Thirdly, there's nothing wrong..."

Daniel, deciding enough was enough, quickly moved so that he could kiss Jack into silence. When they broke away from each other both men were panting.

"I think it's time we got you out of those clothes."

"People are still here."

Jack rolled his eyes and said, "You do know I'm not always thinking of making mad passionate love to you don't you?"

Daniel's eyebrows raised so Jack continued, "Okay the thought is always somewhere in my mind but I can think of other things as well. Like getting you into dry clothes so we can go back to the party before a certain Jaffa gets sent to find out what's happened to us."

A few minutes later they walked into the living area to find Sam and Janet sitting on a sofa drinking coffee whilst Teal'c played chess with Cassie. Things were quiet in the back yard and a quick glance out showed Jack that it was empty.

"Where did everyone go?" he asked.

Sam sighed and rolled her eyes. "I thought you understood the party would only be for a few hours. Most of the people wanted to spend time with their families and those that wanted to stay were soon persuaded to leave," she answered with a grin looking over to Teal'c.

"Right, thanks guys. So it's just us left then?"

"Actually I'm about to go. Liz invited a group of us over to her place for a party," Cassie answered after checking her watch. Looking at Janet she asked, "Are you still all right to give me a lift?"

"Sure sweetie," the doctor replied as she picked up her purse.

Teal'c stood as Janet was also giving him a lift back to the SGC. They said their goodbyes and Jack walked the three of them to the front door. Taking the opportunity, Daniel headed into the kitchen where the coffee pot was calling to him. Sam followed him and as Daniel poured himself a drink she asked him how he was.

"I'm fine, Sam."

"Are you sure, you were a bit worse for wear earlier?"

"I think the shower helped with that. What happened?"

"Not a lot really. Apart from you somehow got covered in beer, ended up on the floor with Louise feeling you up in the middle of the party."

Daniel closed his eyes and groaned.

"I thought Jack was kidding when he said she was over me like poison ivy."

"Oh no, this is one party that's going to be remembered for a while yet. Though I think you should be careful if she has a needle when in she's in your vicinity."

"I dread to ask, but why?"

"According to Teal'c she didn't take to kindly to you calling her Nurse Nympho."

"I didn't, please tell me I didn't."

"Sorry Daniel, I would but then I'd be lying. So, how are things between you and Jack?"

"Fine. Why?"

"Well he wasn't too happy about what happened in the yard earlier."

"I gathered that upstairs. We had a talk and I hope it's sorted."

"But knowing Jack you're not really sure."

"He may think what I said was the drink talking, that I'll take it back in the morning."

"Why would he think that?"

"Because I said some things I've never said before and it wasn't until today I figured out why I could never say them."

"And..."

"And I love him."

"I kinda gathered that from the two of you being together for the last few months."

"No, I meant I never told him that."

"Why not? I would have thought it was Jack who would stay quiet about his feelings."

"That's just the thing Sam. Everyone thinks Jack is some sort of military hard ass who couldn't tell you what he feels if his life depended on it. At the same time you all think of me as some type of touchy feely person who can't help but tell everyone how I feel."

"And the truth is?"

"The truth is I'm the hard ass and Jack is the one who can talk about things."

Before Sam had the chance to say the things, her shocked expression was telling Daniel she was thinking he continued, "I trained myself not to talk about my feelings, to keep everything inside. Don't let anyone see the real you and you won't get hurt. The foster families won't be scared away by the little boy who saw his parents killed and then was turned away by his own grandfather. I learnt pretty early on that if I kept quiet I had a better chance of actually staying with them for more than a few days, of not having to stay in a home. I suppose habits like that are hard to break."

"I suppose they are. And Jack?"

"He keeps things to himself but that's not because he can't talk, it's because he chooses to watch. Jack would have made a great anthropologist if that was what interested him."

Sam laughed at that.

"The Colonel. An anthropologist?"

"Think about it, Sam. He spends most of his time watching others, learning about them so he knows where he stands. Where we as a team stand. He knows the questions to ask that take him to the heart of a matter."

"I suppose, it just seems strange to think of him like that. He'll always be the Colonel to me."

"And I'm sure that's something the Air Force and the world is thankful for," Daniel said.

"So, you ready for Monday?"

"Sure, looks like it'll be fun. I get to sit in the General's office and watch you all run around testing the cadets."

"Oh yeah, it'll be fun. Just one thing, I'm the Tok'Ra this time."

"Excuse me?"

"You can play the Goa'uld on Monday, I'm going to be the Tok'Ra."

"Come off it, Sam, you've already been the Tok'Ra. It's my turn."

"In your dreams, Daniel," Sam said as they made their way to the front door. "See you both Monday."

"Night, Sam."

"See ya, Sam," Jack called from the living room.

Daniel watched as Sam drove away then locked the door and went through to where Jack was sitting at the chessboard.

"Are you wanting a game?" Daniel asked as he went and sat down opposite Jack.

"You up for it?"

"Of course."

They played till it started to get dark then Daniel suggested maybe they should go somewhere more comfortable.

Lying in bed, Daniel with his head on Jack's chest and Jack with his arms around Daniel, Daniel said, "I meant what I said earlier."

"I know you did."

"Seriously, Jack, it wasn't just the drink talking. I'm not going to regret it in the morning, telling you I love you I mean."

"I know, Daniel, I heard you talking to Sam in the kitchen."

"How much did you hear?"

"Enough to know that I'm the luckiest guy in existence as I have a smart, loving and caring partner. One I'm not going to let go of."

"Think you have that the wrong way round, I'm the lucky one."

"Thought you're the one who didn't want a lot of sap."

"I am, seeing I can think of better things we could be doing," Daniel replied with a wicked grin as he started to kiss Jack's chest.

Jack grinned as well. After all, Daniel did have such good ideas.