Cliche 27 4

Light At The End Of The Tunnel

by Arcturus

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asa/arcturus/cliche04.php
Summary: Sam's life stops hurtling in the wrong direction

Sam sat unmoving for several minutes, Daniel's words echoing round her head. Was she just going to give up? Judging by her current situation, it probably wasn't up to her anyway. If she was sent to jail... the implications of that made her stomach clench and she had to swallow the panic hard. It was a real possibility. But right at this moment it was out of her hands. The best thing she could do was keep out of everyone's way and get on with proving her worth to the general.

The one thing that could calm Sam Carter was her work; equations and mathematical concepts, things she understood and had control over. As she immersed herself in the numerous projects she had, the tension of the last twenty four hours began to recede.

That was until her commanding officer made an appearance. Sam shot to attention, all the images she had managed to push away coming back to invade her mind. "Colonel Sir." She managed.

"At ease Carter."

Jack stood for several moments, once more appraising his second. She looked better than earlier that morning, but he was aware of an underlying tension in her that had been building for several weeks. It worried him. "There will be no charges from the police; there was surveillance camera evidence of the whole thing. And Sergeant Peters just called to say the other guy has admitted to jumping you, that you acted in self defense."

Sam shoulders dropped with relief, "Sir, I would like to apologize for dragging you into this. I know it shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry."

He waved her apology away, "Forget it Carter, looks like even brainy astrophysicists can get in to trouble every now and then."

He smiled at the irony of it, "But you know your timing is lousy; Hammond has just been ordered to crack down on the 'relaxing of the regulations' at the SGC. You got the full force of that, plus SG-9 is nearly a day overdue."

Sam let that information wash over her too. Her situation was not as bleak as she thought it was. Maybe there was a way out of the pit she seemed to have fallen in.

"So this gives you two whole weeks to play with your doohickeys. I can almost feel your excitement Carter." Jack quipped, some of his usual warm sarcasm returning to his demeanor. Then he stepped close and placed his hand on her arm, urging her to look at him. The playfulness had disappeared and Sam saw real concern in his face. "Whatever this is about Carter, sort it out. I need you out there; in the field, backing me up, saving our arses."

Jack squeezed her arm once before dropping his hand away, although he remained studying her for several seconds longer. Finally he turned to leave. "I mean it Carter, I need you; we all need you."

And he was gone.

***

Thankfully the infirmary was quiet. After the bruising encounter with Sam, Janet had informed her staff she was not to be disturbed unless there was an emergency, and had ensconced herself in her office, door shut.

Despite her best efforts, Sam's words would not leave her head. The real hurt in the major's voice as she expressed her anguish continued to plague her. Janet conceded that she probably had been partially responsible for Sam's predicament. She had also heard that Hammond had come down hard on the major and had confined her to the base for two weeks.

She closed her eyes, breathing carefully, trying to settle the turmoil within her. But the voice that insistently asked why she had given Sam up would not be quieted. None of her rationalization about stability or responsibility would detract from the fact that she still loved the blonde, despite, or because of all her quirks.

Yes Jo was nice and dependable, wanted to treat Janet with respect, make her and Cassie a cozy family. And Janet craved that, needed to know there was someone she could rely on. But there was the staid, doctor side of Jo that meant she always wanted to be in control, needed to know what the plans were in advance, couldn't grasp the idea of spontaneity.

And Janet knew in her heart that Sam loved her and Cassie with a fierceness that stole Janet's breath away. What she couldn't fathom though was what she truly wanted. Could she settle for Jo? For the steadiness and security that came with the raven haired woman? Or did she still want the uncertainty and roller coasting that was inevitable with a certain astrophysicist?

She sighed, rubbing distractedly at her temples, the headache she had been aware was building now demanding attention. She was shocked to find tears in her eyes when the truth hit her; with all that had gone on with Sam, she probably had no choice to make.

***

It was gone 1900 and Sam was still immersed in her work. Since her discussion with O'Neill, she had not left the safety of her lab. She was sure reports of the fight and subsequent fallout would be all around the base. She could do with out the inquisition that came with gossip like that. And anyway the rather large device currently gracing one corner of the room was fascinating. According to Daniel's notes, it was some sort of replication machine, but they had yet to figure how it switched on, let alone worked.

Sam was sprawled on the floor underneath the contraption, trying to get a grip on the panel edges above her head. The first indication that she was not alone came as the cover moved enough to allow her finger tips further room before snapping shut tightly. "Shit!" she yelped as she yanked her tingling hands away.

"Major, are you alright?"

The Texan drawl had Sam scrambling to her feet hastily - she did not want to piss Hammond off any more than she already had - and coming to attention before answering, "Yes sir, just having a few problems getting the device to work."

"At ease Major," he nodded, "I thought we needed to talk."

Sam could already feel the blush rise in her cheeks. This was someone she had known her whole life, who had always been interested in her career, had encouraged her since her days at the Academy. Sam knew, despite Jack's words of earlier that Hammond's disappointment in her was very real. "Sir, I want to apologize for my behavior last night, I know I was out of order. I'm sorry."

Unlike previously, she was unable to meet his gaze, the shame of her actions once more hitting her full on. Rubbing her sore fingers distractedly she waited for a response. "Sam?"

The shock of hearing her first name from Hammond made Sam jerk her head up. Try as she might, she could not stop the single tear that tracked down her cheek when she saw the look of genuine concern on his face. She wiped it angrily away, closing her eyes to try and compose herself.

Hammond's gentle guiding hand on her arm propelled her to a seat. Preparing herself carefully, Sam managed to look at him steadily for the first time in the encounter. "General?" she managed, fairly evenly.

"Sam, I accept your apology, although it wasn't what I came for. Jack and I are worried about you. This is so out of character for you. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Sam shook her head and huffed out a breath. If she thought getting into a fight would damage her career, telling her commanding officer that she was having relationship problems with the CMO would likely get her an instant dismissal. "Just some personal issues that I haven't been handling very well. I promise to resolve them sir, they won't affect my work again."

Sam hoped she didn't sound like she was pleading for him to drop the topic, even though she was. Her composure was shaky and his proximity and concern were not helping. The warm hand on her arm threatened her fragile defense once again. "You know my door is always open Sam, don't let whatever this is get any more out of hand."

"No sir." She managed. The General rose and left her to ponder his words.

***

For Sam the two weeks sped past. Never before had she been able to dedicate twelve hours a day, every day to research and experimentation. She was amazed at how much she had been able to achieve.

And being on base meant she had not had to visit the infirmary once; that had given her time to really concentrate on locking her feelings for Janet away. Not rationalize and deal with them as she had promised Hammond, just get them under control and pushed to a distant part of her mind. She was good at that.

Sam gathered together the files of her completed projects and headed to the elevators. Although she knew that this meeting with Hammond was just procedural, she was tenser than she liked, the reason for her having to do this still seared into her mind. She wondered if it would go down permanently on her record.

Sam placed the pile of folders on the desk and stepped back, adopting parade rest. She swallowed nervously as she was scrutinized by both the General and Colonel O'Neill. "Sir, here are the reports on the projects I have completed in the past two weeks."

O'Neill raised an eyebrow at the size of the pile, but it was Hammond who spoke. "And how many is that Major?"

"Twenty eight sir."

If the situation had been different, Sam might have cracked a smile at the looks on her superior's faces. But she knew that her return to active duty hung on this meeting, and whilst she had enjoyed her time in the lab, she could not help but remember what had put her there in the first place. She waited expectantly.

Hammond rose from his chair and addressed her formerly. "Major Carter, your confinement has been served and I am now willing to return you to active duty status. However, any repeat of your previous behavior will have more serious repercussions. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes sir." Even though Sam knew Hammond had to follow procedure, she could not help the blush that rose up her cheeks at the reminder of her misdemeanor.

"And Major?"

"Yes sir?"

There was now a distinct twinkle in the General's eye, "Maybe you could give your CO a few hints on finishing reports."

Sam felt the tension in her break and she smiled. "Yes sir, it would be my pleasure."

As Sam exited the office, she heard O'Neill grumble something and her smile widened. At least one part of her life was back in control.

Next: Is This It?