Fathers And Sons 1

by Belladonna

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asb/belladonna/father01.php
Summary: After Blair's dissertation disaster he runs away from Cascade and Jim, and goes to his father

Missing scene for 'The Sentinel by Blair Sandburg'

Joel and Jim walked into the Major Crimes bullpen, chatting quietly about the case when Rafe stuck his head in the other door. "Hey, Sandburg's on TV. He's giving some kind of press conference."

On the TV the reporter flashed his perfect teeth. "And we're live!"

*^*

Blair's knees knocked as he looked at the assembled crowd. "Hi. Thank you all for coming. I just have a short speech prepared here. Um... In our media-informed culture, a scientist receives validation by having his or her work published and after years of research there is great personal satisfaction when that goal is reached. However, my desire to impress both my peers and the world at large drove me to an immoral and unethical act. My thesis "The Sentinel" is a fraud. While my paper does quote ancient source material, the documentation proving that James Ellison ... actually possesses hyper-senses is fraudulent. Looking back, I can say that it's a good piece of fiction. I apologize for this deception. My only hope is that I can be forgiven for the pain I've caused those that are close to me. Thank you."

Blair left the podium, aware of the buzz of voices but just wanting to get out of there. He ignored his mother's shocked face as he strode by her and into the hallway. The Chancellor scurried up to stride beside him. "You've embarrassed this university for the last time. I want your office cleared out by Friday," he hissed.

His stomach dropped, but Blair realized that he should've expected it. "I'll have it gone by tomorrow." And he jerked by him and fled.

*^*

At the loft Blair was just finishing up boxing his things when he heard the door open. He stiffened when he heard a hesitant, "Sweetie?"

"Naomi."

Naomi walked in, her gaze taking in the boxes that were in a pile. "I've been looking for you forever. Sid is very upset with you. He published your little book as a favor to me."

Blair stiffened then threw his head up, a dangerous look in his eyes that made his mother step back in alarm. "Fuck Sid. Tell him to go to hell."

"Well, Blair, really. I didn't think working with the police would change you this much," his mother huffed.

Eyes that were cold blue ice stared at Naomi. "Go to Tibet, or wherever the next scam artist is, but don't ever call me or talk to me again. Or better yet, follow Sid." He knew he was being deliberately hurtful to his mother, but she'd royally screwed up his life and didn't seem to realize it at all.

Shocked and afraid, Naomi went to hug her son. "Oh sweetheart, you don't mean it!" then staggered back as she was pushed roughly away.

"Yes, I do. Now do us both a favor and go."

He grabbed his book bag and began to toss things in it. When the door closed he sagged to the floor, wanting to cry but not being able to. He shuddered, took a deep breath and stood back up, anxious to finish before Jim got back. He hadn't a clue about where to go, and he'd emptied most of his bank account on the check for Jim. He stopped and got a far away look in his eyes. "Maybe I can see Charlie..."

*^*

Jim hurried into the loft, aware that something was very wrong.

"Sandburg?" he called. Nothing.

"Blair?"

He calmed his panicked breathing then searched with his senses but didn't hear Blair or his heartbeat within the loft. Heart sinking as he walked in further, he saw the stack of boxes and could only shake his head in denial. He hadn't meant for this to happen. An envelope on top of the stack of boxes caught his attention; he slit the top open and out fell a folded letter and a check. He ignored the check and picked up the letter with shaking fingers.

"Jim,

I'm so sorry about the thesis. It wasn't really even finished yet but Naomi took it to a 'friend' it to get it published without asking my permission. I was going to change some things, like take out your name, but well, you can tell that I didn't get a chance.

I'm leaving Cascade, heading East. I don't know when I'll be back, but I let Megan know so she could keep an eye out for you. Stay safe big guy, and stay away from the Wonderburgers.

Oh, movers will come for the boxes to take them to storage tomorrow, and the check is for the rent I never paid. Thanks for the hospitality, man. You're the best. Blair."

Jim moved to the leather couch and sat down with an ungraceful thump. The truth could be such a pain-filled thing.

Blair hadn't tried to hurt him with the thesis, it had been Naomi who'd had it published and made his life a living hell. And then Blair had ruined his academic career by renouncing it on TV. For him.

"Oh shit. I am so screwed."

He should've have trusted Blair- the man had never let him down. If anything, he'd let Blair down spectacularly, and this was just another one of those times. "I'm so sorry Blair," He whispered.

*^*

Jack unlocked the door, but at the full body nudge he threw a fond smile over his shoulder at the man behind him. "Hang on for a second, Danny." Daniel merely grinned and slithered past Jack, lewdly rubbing his hard crotch against the older man before going into the house.

"Geez!" Jack wheezed as he followed his lover into the house, then cursed as he bumped into Daniel, who'd stopped cold in the hallway. The archeologist made a sign with his hand that indicated there was someone in the living room and Jack silently bent down and got his pistol out of his ankle holster. He gestured that he would take right while Daniel went left, and they both eased into the living room, "I'm armed," he announced, then his jaw dropped as the last person in the world he expected stood up.

"Hi, dad."

Jack literally couldn't believe his eyes. "Blair?" He was totally unaware of the sharp look that Daniel sent him. He eased his finger off the trigger and put his gun away, his eyes never leaving the younger man. "What are you doing here?"

Blair heaved in an unsteady breath. "Naomi said you didn't want me in your life anymore, but I thought, I'd..." Tears of exhaustion and stress spilled over his cheeks. "I thought I'd see Charlie, then move on."

In shock, all Jack could do was head for Blair and wrap his arms around him. "Ohgod Blair. I never said I didn't want to see you! I love you kid, and when Naomi told me you didn't want anything to do with me..." He trailed off, aware of the hushed sobs his son was making.

"She fucking did it again! She screwed up my life, and kept us apart with lies. I can't believe it," Blair moaned, hugging Jack tighter.

"Shhh kid, it'll be all right." Jack rocked Blair back and forth.

After a few minutes Blair pulled back, and accepted the handkerchief that Jack handed him. "So, where's Charlie and Sara? He's out on a date or something, isn't he?" he asked, his blue eyes bloodshot from crying. He wiped them impatiently; he didn't want his little brother to see him crying.

Jack went white, and Daniel stepped forward and smiled. "Hey Blair, I'm Daniel. Why don't you and Jack sit down? I'll get the whiskey," he watched his lover like hawk, making sure the color started to come back into Jack's face, then he checked to see if Blair sat down on the couch, before he headed towards the liquor cabinet. They were sure to need it tonight.

Jack threw his lover a grateful look and sat down on the couch beside a confused Blair, "It's so good to see you," He whispered, his eyes roaming over the younger man's face. It had been so long since he'd seen his older child. Their estrangement had ripped what was left of his heart after Charlie had died, in two.

Daniel was back with the bottle of Glenmorangie and three shot glasses. Pouring a hefty amount into each one, he handed one to Jack, then set one in front of Blair before taking the last one and collapsing into the chair across from the couch.

"Dad?" Blair asked, his voice quavering slightly at the look of old grief on Jack's face.

Jack swallowed his whiskey then took a deep breath. "Blair, Charlie's dead." He watched helplessly as Blair began to tear up again. "It was 9 years ago. He was playing with my service pistol and accidentally shot himself."

"Ohgod. No, not Charlie. I'm so sorry, dad." He took the whiskey and swallowed it in one gulp, and then wheezed, trying to catch his breath. 'Charlie's dead,' ran through his mind like a crazed hamster on a wheel.

"I don't understand? I mean, I thought you knew..." Jack began hesitatingly. "It was soon after Charlie died. Naomi had called the house after Sara and I separated, and Sara told her. Naomi called later and informed me that you blamed me and didn't want anything to do with me anymore. I wasn't to call, or write, anything to upset you-- that you hated me that much for what I'd done to Charlie." He shuddered. "After losing Charlie, and Sara leaving me, it just seemed well... I knew how Naomi felt about guns and what she'd taught you. It was one more horrible loss in a row. I just assumed..." He trailed off as Blair threw his arms around him.

"She lied to both of us." Blair tightened his arms around Jack. "I hate her. I hate what's she's done."

Alarmed, Jack pulled back, his hands on his son's shoulders. "Hey, kid, she's your mom."

"That's no excuse. I should've have been here for you. For Charlie. God..." He shook his head, "I can't believe it."

His father examined him and saw exhaustion and heartache deep in his son's eyes. "Listen kid, you're whipped. And when was the last time that you ate?"

Blair shook his head, his curly hair waving gently. "I dunno. It's been a long week and this on top of everything. I'm just not hungry."

Jack stood and nodded. "All right, then let's get you to bed. We'll play catch up tomorrow. Okay?"

Daniel stood and headed down the hall to get the bedroom ready. He pulled back the blankets and fluffed the pillow, then turned to watch as Jack shepherded the younger man in, undressed him like a traumatized child and got him situated in bed.

"Go to sleep, kiddo," Jack said quietly, gently stroking the younger man's face until he fell asleep. He stood and turned to the leave the room, jolting when he saw Daniel leaning against the wall watching him. 'Thank you,' he mouthed and both men left the room.

Daniel watched as Jack headed for the whiskey and poured another, shotgunning it before sinking heavily to the couch, "Can you tell me what's going on?" Daniel asked softly.

A breathy sigh whooshed out of his lover. "Oh boy. It must have been almost 30 years ago," Jack began, leaning his head back on the couch to stare at the ceiling. "I met Naomi Sandburg and we had a hot and heavy affair. I was a young first lieutenant and she was your original hippie, flower child type and didn't want to be tied down. So after a few months she left, heading to Guatemala, or India or something. About a year later she returned to say hi, and introduce me to her baby, Blair. I asked her point blank if he was mine, and she said, and I quote, "Jack, you're a part of the fascist military establishment and my son is a child of the people." And that was all she was gonna say about it."

A stray memory made him smile, "When Blair was about 3 he began to call me Dadda, and there was no way she could talk him out of it. I suspect that he's mine biologically, but there's never been any tests." He shook his head. "He's mine in my heart, and that's all that matters."

"He knew Sara and Charlie?"

Jack got up and went to a cabinet, pulling out a photo album. He flipped it open and showed Daniel his wedding pictures. "See my best man?"

Daniel had to smile, for there was Blair, looking all of 9 or 10 with his curly hair and his spine straight as he stood beside Jack. "His chin is definitely yours, and the hair color, but he must look more like his mother."

"Yeah, his mom is Jewish, but he looks remarkably like my grandfather Sean O'Neill. Same height, same build," Jack smiled at the picture. "He and Charlie had the same blue eyes, just like my mom. Which is surprising since I have brown and Naomi's are hazel." He gazed at the pictures, quiet for a moment. "I'd take him when Naomi was traveling to Timbuktu or Sri Lanka, wherever she was headed for her next spiritual retreat. At first Sara was uncomfortable around him, but he has this charm and she fell head over heels for him."

Daniel nodded. "What does he do?"

Jack had a proud grin. "He's brilliant like you, entered college in Cascade, Washington as a 16 year old. Last I knew Blair was working on his degree in anthropology. He'd call and talk my ear off about one society or another. He should have it and a master's by now I'd think."

"Anthropology." Daniel smiled and shook his head. "You faker. You understand a lot of what I tell you, don't you?"

The older man shrugged and smirked at his lover. "I plead the fifth." He stood. "Let's warm up some soup or something, I'm beat."

Daniel got to his feet. "Let me. You check on Blair and meet me in the kitchen."

Jack looked toward the hallway, visibly hesitating. "He's almost 30 years old. I don't think he'd want me to hover."

"Jack." Daniel looked into his lover's eyes. "He's come here, to you, despite thinking you wouldn't want to see him. Check on him."

They ate their soup and got ready for bed. Daniel waited patiently as Jack checked on Blair one more time before he crawled into bed. "He's okay?"

"Dead to the world. I wonder what's happened?" Jack asked quietly, relaxing as Daniel wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close.

"Sleep Jack. We'll find out tomorrow." He felt Jack relax in his arms, and sighed, wondering why Jack hadn't told him about Blair. Then he remembered what Jack had said-- Blair's supposed rejection because of Charlie's death being the last in a series of personal tragedies...It must have hurt so terribly much. He nuzzled Jack's hair. "Poor babe," he crooned softly.

*^*

Blair woke up and was disoriented for a long moment before he remembered he was at his dad's. He smiled; his dad didn't hate him. Thank you god. His bladder made an impatient demand and he got up and opened the door to find the bathroom. After he washed his hands he wandered, bleary-eyed, out to the kitchen where he smelled coffee. He sniffed, as someone from Washington, where there was a coffee place on every corner, he could recognize the good stuff.

Daniel looked up from the table where he was working on his computer, "Hey Blair, there's fresh coffee. Are you hungry?" He asked with a welcoming smile, at the same time he wondered how Jack was going to explain his presence to his son.

Blair's stomach rumbled loudly and he grinned self-consciously, "Um, I guess so. And no coffee for me, do you have tea?"

Daniel got up. "Yeah, I have several types. What kind do you like?"

"Chinese green?"

"You got it." Daniel got the teapot out and filled it, then set it on the stove.

"Where's dad?" He looked around curiously.

"He's gone for a run." Daniel went over and poured himself some more coffee. "Jack said you're Jewish, do you eat bacon?"

Blair shook his head. "I'm non-practicing, but I usually don't eat much meat." A shadow crossed his face as he remembered how much teasing he'd gotten from Jim about his algae shakes. "Eggs or cereal is fine."

The door opening made both men glance over. Jack came in and smiled. "Hey kiddo. How are you?"

"Hungry at least," Blair said. He walked up to his dad and pulled on the sweaty hair. "What's with all the snow on the mountain top?" he teased, laughing as Jack slapped his hand away.

"It's all Daniel's fault," Jack complained. He walked over and nipped Daniel's cup out of his hand and took a swallow, then gave him an absent kiss. "Let me jump in the shower and I'll help you with breakfast." He handed the cup back.

Daniel waved him off. "Take your shower. Blair and I can handle it," he was a little overwhelmed at the emotions that swarmed through him at the importance of the casual kiss.

"Okay," and Jack disappeared down the hallway. Daniel smiled fondly after him, then his eyes went to Jack's son who was staring thoughtfully.

"How long have you two been together?" Blair asked.

Daniel smiled. "About 3 years."

"I didn't know that Dad was gay, or bi or whatever."

The older man went to the fridge to grab the eggs. "He really wasn't, until me."

Understanding totally, Blair only said, "Ah." He'd felt the same way about Jim. Over their years together as Guide and Sentinel he'd abruptly realized that he'd fallen in love with his roommate and partner. He didn't consider himself gay, just in love with a guy. Which was probably the same thing...Hmm, he'd never studied the gay and lesbian community. He shook himself-- this didn't change anything. He'd thought that he and Jim had a measure of trust between them. And to find out how wrong he was....

"Scrambled or what?"

Blair looked up in surprise. "What? Oh, scrambled is good." He looked down at his boxers and t-shirt. "I should get dressed."

Daniel glanced up. "There's a robe on the back of the bathroom door. Use that if you want." He watched at the younger man nodded and headed down the hallway.

A moment later Jack came out, slapped Daniel gently on the ass and got some bread out. "I'll make the toast."

"Thanks, Jack."

Eyebrows rose. "It's just toast, Danny."

"I meant the kiss."

Jack looked at him in confusion then he smiled. "Ah, that. I didn't think we needed to hide who we were from my son."

"And you don't," Blair agreed as he walked back in, wrapped in an overlarge blue velour robe.

They sat around the dining room table and ate their eggs and toast silently. After about fifteen minutes of preoccupied silence, Daniel decided to take the elephant in the room by the ears, so to speak. "So, Blair. Tell us what you're doing here?"

Blair slowly put his fork down and placed his hands on his lap. "Dad, do you remember when I told you about Sentinels?"

Jack rolled his eyes. "Humans with super abilities for their senses. You went bonkers when you discovered Liz Taylor's manuscripts about them."

Blair rolled his eyes right back, "Puh-lease. The Sentinel's of Paraguay, written by Sir Richard Burton, not the actor-- geez dad." The exasperation made his dad chuckle.

Daniel was fascinated, "Really? Enhanced senses?" Inwardly he had to grin, the eye rolling had clinched it for him, Blair was definitely Jack's son.

Blair sucked in a breath, about to launch into a long winded explanation, which made Jack hold up a hand like a traffic cop. "Blair, Danny is an archeologist and an anthropologist too, and you guys can compare dead civilizations later. Finish what you were about to tell me."

Blair's face lit up. "I'll pick your brain later," he promised and Daniel grinned back. He settled for a moment, took a sip of his tea. "I found a Sentinel," he announced, his mind vividly remembered that fateful moment in the hospital.

"Really?" Jack asked curiously.

A brilliant smile. "Yeah. He's a cop and I wangled my way into the police department as a behavioral anthropologist studying closed societies, but in reality I was helping Jim control his senses. I became like a guide to his Sentinel. I also learned more about policework than I ever thought I would." He threw a glance at Jack, "Being Naomi's son and all."

"How did Naomi take it?" Jack asked, his face calm and non judgmental.

Blair shrugged. "About how you'd expect. After she met Jim it was a little better."

Jack leaned on his forearms. "So, tell me about Jim. He's a cop, right?" He watched as his son's face lit up.

"You probably have a lot in common. He was Special Forces, an Army Ranger. Several years ago he flew down to Peru with his Ranger team, and they got shot down. Jim was the only survivor and he spent 18 months with the Chopec tribe before he was found. That's where his senses activated."

His father snapped his fingers. "I remember reading about him. In Life, or Time."

"Yeah. There was an article about him. Afterwards he got out and joined the Cascade PD. I found him in the hospital. He was convinced that he was going crazy."

Daniel made a face. "If all of my senses decided to go out of whack I'd think the same thing."

"So..." Jack said slowly. "Why are you here, and not there?"

"Shit! I have to call Megan." Blair jumped up and went to dig though his bag. He opened the cell phone, turned it on and it immediately began to ring. Daniel and Jack exchanged a long look-- they recognized classic avoidance behaviour.

"Megan?" and he had to hold the phone away from his ear. "What? I'm fine. Really! Yes, I'm fine. Are you ok? No, I am not going to tell you where I am." He rolled his eyes at his dad and wandered around the room as he listened, "How's Simon?" He closed his eyes. "Good, good. Tell the guys hi and I'm okay. I'll call again." He listened for a long moment. "How's Jim? Uh huh. Okay, bye." He slowly closed the phone, his face deep in thought.

"Who's Megan?" Jack asked.

Blair glanced up and smiled. "She's an Aussie cop, and a great friend."

"Girlfriend?" Jack asked slyly. Daniel could only sigh at Jack's obtuseness. It was plain to him at least, that Blair was in love with his former partner

His son laughed until he was breathless. "God no, she'd kick my ass six ways to Sunday. Just a friend, dad."

"So, you worked with Jim on his cases. That must have been interesting," Daniel commented, pointedly looking in Jack's direction.

Jack raised his eyebrows, silently asking 'What?'.

This vast understatement made Blair roll his eyes. "I've been kidnapped, drugged, drowned. You name it."

Jack choked on his coffee. "What? If he was your partner then he wasn't taking very good care of you. Especially as a civilian."

Blair leapt to Jim's defense. "It wasn't his fault. Things just happen to me."

"Gee, must be an anthropologist thing," Jack drawled. And winced as Daniel kicked him under the table. "Ow! Hey, I just call them like I see them."

"Well don't," Daniel huffed.

Blair laughed quietly and sipped his tea. He looked up to see his dad's eyes on him. "So, I guess you're wondering what Naomi did?"

"You don't have to tell us if you don't want to."

He gazed at the teacup in his hands for a long moment. "I finished the first draft of my thesis. I mean, just finished it and mom had come out of nowhere." He shook his head, "Surprised the hell out of me. She wanted to read it but I told her no, it was still pretty rough. Plus I needed to take Jim's name out of it, make it more of an anonymous subject to protect his privacy." Blair's face flushed with anger. "But no, Naomi takes it to a publisher 'friend' of hers, and they get it published, with lots of fanfare and publicity."

"Oh Blair," Daniel said with sympathy.

Blair shook his head. "Jim felt like he was betrayed, that I'd betrayed him! Then the media were like the worst paparazzi. And he couldn't take it." He lifted anguished eyes to his father. "I held a press conference and retracted it. Told them it was a pack of lies. The university kicked me out, I didn't get my doctorate and I lost my best friend."

He wouldn't cry again, damn it. Just because he had lost his world...

"It wasn't your fault, Blair. Surely you explained it to him?" Jack asked gently, for suddenly it all became clear to him. He ached for his son who was clearly in love with this jerk.

The curly head shook. "I just wrote a letter and left. I knew he didn't want to see me."

Daniel frowned thoughtfully. "I'll bet he's worried."

"I doubt it." And the finality of the answer made Jack and Daniel exchange another knowing look.

Next: Fathers And Sons 2