Why The Heart Aches

by Belladonna

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asb/belladonna/haches.php
Summary: Daniel and Jack have realizations when they are forced apart

"Dial the gate Carter!" Jack screamed, firing his weapon at the incoming Jaffa.

Sam raced to the dhd, quickly pressing the correct sequence, peripherally aware of both Daniel and Teal'c covering her. Her head came up and she yelled, "Sir, let's go!"

Jack nodded and waved, "Daniel, you and Carter first. Teal'c, protect their six, I'll be right behind you." He yelled back, snapping his head back behind the rubble as the blast of a staff weapon almost caught him. Daniel raced up the ramp, Sam on his heels. He stopped at the event horizon and looked back, and couldn't see Jack, "Where's Jack?" he shouted over the weapons fire, and Sam glanced back, "He said he'd follow us in." and she shoved him through.

Teal'c stood, gracefully firing his staff weapon, "O'Neill, we must go!" he roared.

Jack stood and began to run towards him, "Go! I'll be right behind you."

Except that he wasn't. When the wormhole snapped closed, with no Jack in sight, Daniel thought he was going to scream in anguish but all that he could do was whimper, "Where's Jack?"

General Hammond stood there for a moment, "Where is Colonel O'Neill?" and Daniel felt his world shatter. They'd sent through SG-2, 5 and 7 to mount a rescue almost immediately, but when they got there the planet had been abandoned and Jack was nowhere to be found.

~*~

It had been a month since they'd lost Jack. "No!" Daniel said sharply to himself, "Jack is not dead." And hoped it didn't echo as hollowly as he felt.

"Indeed he is not, Daniel Jackson." Came Teal'c's voice.

Daniel spun around to frown at the former Jaffa, "Then why can't we find him?"

With a sigh, Teal'c shook his head, "I do not know." He moved into Daniel's office and settled carefully on the couch, making sure none of the precariously stacked papers crashed down.

"Perhaps he left us." Daniel said quietly. That was his deepest, darkest fear. The one that made him ache at night. That Jack had found SG-1 wanting somehow, had found ~him~ wanting and decided to chuck it all.

"I do not believe that for a minute Dr. Jackson." Came General Hammond's stern voice.

Daniel took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, "Neither do I. I'm just worried." His soul ached, for with Jack's disappearance he'd learnt some harsh truths about himself, including that he loved Jack and literally didn't feel that he could live without the man.

"We all are, son."

~*~*

Jack had escaped from Ba'al's Jaffa almost two weeks ago, by his reckoning anyway. He'd been fortunate in some ways, he'd found his pack where they'd stored it but he hadn't had time to locate his weapons before getting the heck out of dodge. Which unfortunately for him meant more paperwork, if and when he finally got home.

At the moment though his special ops training was paying off in spades. He was submerged in a small lake, his face and hair covered with mud, holding completely still as Ba'al's Jaffa searched the woods yet again. He watched as they did a competent grid search, smirking inwardly as they ignored, yet again, the small lake. They'd never found his pack either, which was just a poor bit of scouting as far as Jack was concerned. Apparently Ba'al was pissed that he'd escaped, he'd sent patrols out every single fucking day.

It took about 2 and half hours until the scouts cleared the area and Jack felt it was safe to come out again. He moved slowly, his body temp having dropped significantly while in the water. He retrieved his pack and climbed up to the treehouse he'd built, quickly making a smokeless fire and slowly began to warm up. The trees on this planet were so dense and the leaves so thick that no one could see his 'home away from home'.

The loneliness settled in again and he thought about his team, hoping they were ok. He'd done as much searching as he could and discovered that they'd made it back through the gate, which was a release of the panicky, heavy weight he'd carried in his heart.

His small pot of water finally boiled and he poured some into a cup and sipped cautiously, sighing with relief as he finally began to warm up. He set the cup down, quickly stripped out of his wet things and dried himself briskly with a towel before dressing in dry fatigues. Much better.

As he rustled around in his pack, his fingers discovered something that he'd not felt before. Curious, he pulled it out, then stared. It was one of Daniel's dog tags. He smiled, the memory warming better than the water.

:*)

"Jack! These damn things are making me itch! How can you stand them?" Daniel had them in his hand, shaking them wildly in Jack's face.

"Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. Give it time, you'll forget you even have them on." Jack was indulgent, loving the flush that bloomed on Daniel's face as he got irritated.

"You keep them, I'm not wearing them!" Daniel insisted, chucking them at his friend.

Jack caught them easily, then slid one of the tags off of the chain and dropped it into his pack before handing the chain with it's remaining tag back to Daniel, "Try it with one. Maybe it's them bumping together that's making you nuts."

Daniel tilted his head as he thought about it, "You might be onto something." He took the chain and looped it over his head, and stood there for a moment. "If it drives me crazy then I'm getting rid of all of it."

Jack had held up his hands, "Whatever you say Dannyboy."

;<)

He chuckled quietly, letting the tag drop back into his bag before putting out the fire and slipping into his sleeping bag, pillowing his head on his arms. He thought about Daniel and waited for sleep to claim him.

It took a long time. Being a captive of Ba'al, though thank the Asgard that the bastard was off somewhere torturing someone else, and being on his own had given him a lot of time to think. Think about Daniel and what his true feelings were towards the younger man, and what his true feelings for Carter were. Sighing he rolled over onto his side. He needed to let her know that she needed to move on, then he could move on with Daniel. If Daniel would have him. His private nightmare was that Daniel would be disgusted beyond belief and leave the program.

He rolled to his back, gazing up through the leafy branches at the twinkling stars and wished on each and every one of them.

~*~

Teal'c stood at the bottom of the ramp and bowed politely as Jacob Carter strode out of the even horizon. "Jacob Carter, Selmak, you are most welcome to the SGC."

Jacob was a little taken aback, "Where's George? Not that I'm not glad to see you Teal'c but.."

Teal'c smiled slightly, "General Hammond was called away to a meeting in Washington. Daniel Jackson is now sleeping after Doctor Warner slipped him a 'mickey', and Major Carter is.."

"Dad! It's great to see you!" Sam said and ran up to give her father a hug.

"What's happened?" Jacob asked in concern. "The only message I received was that you needed my help."

"Colonel O'Neill is missing. He disappeared on P3x 7797 almost a month ago. We've tried getting a hold of Thor but we've haven't heard anything." Sam said quietly.

Jacob looked serious, "You think maybe Ba'al'?"

"Indeed."

Selmak spoke, "I will contact our agents within Ba'al's Jaffa."

"Thanks Selmak." Sam said. "It'll give Daniel some hope." She was worried sick over Daniel. The archaeologist had barely slept, and if he'd stayed for an entire meal, she couldn't remember when. As much as she worried about the Colonel, it seemed that Daniel was heartbroken.

"We'll try our best." He gave Sgt. Davis a nod and the gate began to dial.

~*~

Jack awoke to the sounds of ships leaving the planet's surface, "About fucking time." He grumbled. He crawled out of he sleeping bag, pulled on some clothes and listened intently before shimmying down his tree. After he took a piss Jack carefully made his way to Ba'al's base and watched as the ships kept heading into space. "I wonder what the fuck is going on?" He asked himself.

A series of explosions and the sight of one of the ships plummeting back to the planet answered that question. "Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about!" This was his chance to head to the Stargate, hopefully the battle would keep the Jaffa busy. He'd been back to the gate over a dozen times, nearly getting caught a couple of times. This time though it seemed like his luck was in...

He kept his eyes moving as he quickly punched in the address to the pink planet then ran into the event horizon with a smile.

A Jaffa appeared from behind one of the many trees and smiled, "My Lord, I have the address to the Taur'i base." He reported erroneously.

~*~

Daniel was busy working out his frustration by digging up an old settlement right at the foot of the Stargate that looked like a civilization that the Asgard had placed there. He been there three days, working 18 hour shifts, more if he could slip by the watch dog that the doc had foisted on him. He ached all over, he was heartsick and just wanted to bury himself in his work.

Colonel Jansen was watching over the good doctor and shook his head as the archeologist worked himself into the ground. Both Teal'c and Carter had impressed upon him the responsibility of taking care of their archeologist and he was taking it seriously.

As soon as Jack arrived at the pink planet he immediately dialed the planet where SG-17 was supervising an archeological dig. He stepped through and held up his hands as a zealous airman pointed his weapon at him, "What? You've never seen a long lost Colonel before?" He teased.

The young man gaped, then grinned, "Colonel!" He turned and yelled, "Dr. Jackson! Dr. Jackson! Look who's here!"

Daniel's head popped up and he literally couldn't believe his eyes, "Jack?"

"Hey Danny, what's cookin'?" Jack asked cheerfully, trying to keep from getting choked by the emotion as saw his favorite person on any world. And he was suddenly being shaken within an inch of his life.

"You STUPID BASTARD! Do you KNOW how fucking WORRIED I've been? Where the FUCK were you?" Daniel yelled before grabbing the shocked and surprised Jack in his arms and hugging the living daylights out of him.

Jack looked over Daniel's shoulder and saw the smirks and outright grins, then he turned his attention to his now trembling friend, patting the younger man gingerly on the back, "It's ok Danny. I'm so glad to see you too." He whispered.

"Are you ok?" Was muffled into the side of his face.

"I am now." Jack said, pulling back to let Daniel see the truth in his eyes, he could play the dumb flyboy on occasion but he recognized genuine love and loss when he saw it.

Daniel realized he could positively fall into Jack's dark eyes, and with a sense of inevitability he realized that he and Jack felt the same way. "Hey Jack."

"Hey Danny." He smiled, "I have to do something really quick." He turned to look at Colonel Jansen, "Chet, can you connect me with the SGC? I'm gonna report in, a little late but better than never."

"You bet Jack." The other Colonel trotted over to the d.h.d. a grin splitting his face.

Daniel looked at his friend, "What do you mean?"

Jack shrugged, grinning a little, "I dialed our pretty Pepto-Bismol planet before I came here. And I made sure that Ba'al's Jaffa saw me dial. I'll bet ponies to horseshoes that Ba'al's favorite henchman is gonna send his troops there."

Pepto Bismol.and then the light went on. SG-1 had gone to a plant a couple of months ago, a planet with pink sand, pinkish sun and pink skies, all of which Sam had explained with some kind of convoluted science speak. It had taken Jack exactly one hour before he'd gathered up his team and said, "Ok kids. There is no fucking way I can stay here any more. It's PINK, for cryin' out loud! Any problems with that?" He'd looked his team over, Sam reluctantly admitting there was nothing viable there and even Teal'c had agreed, and they'd gone back home.

"I get it. You're gonna let Ba'al's Jaffa get there and find absolutely nothing. And maybe Ba'al will punish his bad little Jaffa for screwing up." Daniel fell into step with Jack as they headed to the m.a.l.p.

"Can't get anything passed you, Danny." Jack agreed. He gave Daniel a look of mischief and Daniel could do nothing but be charmed by his long lost Colonel.

"I'm sorry to bug you General, but I have something to show you." Jansen said then stepped out of the way.

General Hammond's eyes went wide as his 2IC smiled into the camera, "Hey George, long time no see!"

"Jack! How the hell are you?" The General asked happily.

"Oh good, you know how it is. Captured by Jaffa, escaped and found the planet overrun by bad guys. Bad guys get clobbered by more bad guys and I escaped, headed to the Pepto-Bismol planet, then here."

The General nodded soberly, "I assume you mean P-3975?" lips twitching slightly. He'd missed the irreverent humor of his 2IC, though he'd never let the man know.

"Yes sir." Jack agreed.

"Good work Colonel. Come on home and get checked out. Oh, and Jack? Welcome home."

"Thank you Sir." Jack smiled.

Daniel had left the dig to stay with Jack, unable to let the older man out of his sight. He couldn't wipe the grin off of his face as their team-mates greeted Jack, and then as others came up to say 'welcome back'. He stayed close by as Jack was checked over thoroughly, never seeing the sharp looks Dr. Warner kept sending him.

Jack, for his part, was happy to keep Daniel within arms reach. Though he'd noticed the looks that the doc had given his friend, and his own sharp eyes could see the stress lines and how much weight that the younger man had lost. More than Jack had, and he'd been a prisoner for two weeks!

"Well Colonel, for being a prisoner and living on the run, you are in remarkably good shape." Dr. Warner remarked.

Jack patted his stomach, "Good clean living, Bill."

This made Daniel snort, "What a load of crap."

Dr. Warner rounded on Daniel, "And when was the last time you ate or rested Dr. Jackson?"

Daniel gulped in dismay, and was about to quickly lie when Jack rested his hand on Daniel's thigh to stop him, "Doc, I solemnly swear to take Daniel home and feed him, then put him to bed."

Abruptly Daniel remembered the dig, "But I've got to go back." then stopped and raised his hands in surrender, "It can wait a couple of days. I guess." He said, wincing at the scowl from the doctor.

Dr. Warner looked Jack, "You get some rest too Jack."

"I will Bill. Does that mean we can get outta here?"

That was almost the last thing Daniel remembered until he woke up when Jack stopped the truck at his house. "Danny?"

"'Mm awake. Sorta." Daniel rubbed his eyes, then climbed out of the truck, sleepily following Jack into the house.

Jack pulled the sleepy man into his arms, his nose in Daniel's hair and inhaled, "I'm so glad I'm home."

He was answered with a jaw cracking yawn, "Me too, maybe I can sleep now." Daniel mumbled, burying his nose into Jack's shoulder.

"Poor baby, you're out on your feet. Come on Danny, let's get you tucked in." Jack led the exhausted man to his bedroom, stripped him down to his boxers and put him to bed before doing the same. He crawled in behind Daniel, wrapped his arm around him and slipped into a deep and comfortable sleep. He had Daniel, he was whole.

Daniel woke up slowly, his body sluggish from sleeping so long, and from being comfortably warm. Realizing that he needed to go pee he tried to move, only to have a strong male arm band around him tightly. What the.? He panicked slightly until there was a rasp of whiskers against his neck, "Morning." Jack's voice rumbled.

Jack! Daniel turned over and faced him, his heart beating rapidly. "Don't let this be a dream." He whispered desperately.

Jack smiled slowly, caressing Daniel's face, "Not a dream Danny. I'm really here.." and he broke off as he found Daniel's mouth attacking his. Moaning, he pulled Daniel to him so that their bodies rubbed against each other, reacting to the passionate need in Daniel.

"Jack, Jack." Daniel chanted, peppering kisses over the older man's face, not aware of any externals, only the need and desire to claim Jack, to have and hold him, to never let him go.

Jack, for his own part, was happy to let Daniel take over. He let the younger man explore him, arching up into the less than gentle caresses, arousal spiking through him. "God Daniel." He gasped as he felt Daniel bite less than gently on his nipple.

"Never, EVER, leave me again Jack." Daniel snarled. He bent and took Jack's mouth in a passionate kiss, tongues tangling, teeth nipping as he bit Jack's lip gently before pressing tiny kisses to it in apology.

"Never!" Jack gasped, overwhelmed by this Daniel who was a force of nature.

Daniel pressed his lips to Jack's ear, "Please, please let me be inside of you. Please Jack?" he whispered harshly, his tongue laving the shell of Jack's ear, making the older man tremble.

Stark terror shook Jack, he'd never done this before. Then as Daniel raised his head to look into his eyes, acceptance. "Yes." He whispered back and his mouth was captured again.

Crawling quickly from the bed, leaving a bewildered and aroused Jack behind, Daniel swiftly went into the bathroom to look for something to use as lube. A tube of vaseline caught his eyes and he grabbed it and rushed back into the bedroom, tossing the tube onto the bed as he covered Jack's body with his own and kissed him again.

Jack arched into Daniel's touch as the archeologist began to slide his hand up and down Jack's cock, making him moan, "Uhh, ohgod." After a minute he felt one of his legs pushed up and a warm slick finger probing his ass. He tensed for a moment, terror sweeping through him, then remembered that it was Daniel. He had to relax, for Daniel. He felt himself being gently stretched, and could do nothing but arch back and moan ecstatically. It felt good, better than good, it felt wonderful. And if he wasn't careful he'd start singing in a moment. Daniel gently had him turn to his stomach, rubbing him gently.

"It's gonna hurt." Daniel warned. He leaned forward, his cock sliding under to nudge Jack's balls as he rubbed large circles on his lover's back.

Jack arched and purred, "Don't care, just do it Danny. I need you." He looked over his shoulder, eyes shining with trust.

Daniel was shaken, "I love you Jack." He blurted.

This made the man in front of him laugh softly, "Duh Daniel. Now can we DO this?" and Jack moaned as Daniel placed his cock against his entrance, and slowly pushed inside.

The feelings, the sensations, cripes, the emotions were indescribable. Jack could feel the slow, inexorable slide of Daniel's cock inside of him, impaling him with previously unknown pleasure. "Daniel." He moaned, then cried out as Daniel's cock eased back, then thrust inside.

"Oh, oh Jack." Daniel whimpered, his cock moving of it's own volition, slowly at first but it owned him and Jack, taking everything. He gripped Jack's hips and began to move harder, faster, Jack's cries and cursing like music to his ear. Suddenly he slowed and spread Jack's knees wider, then leaned forward and pulled Jack to him, leaning back until both of them were on their knees, his chest to Jack's back and his arms around him.

Jack leaned his head back on Daniel's shoulder, body vibrating as Daniel's cock rubbed incessantly over that place inside of him. He clasped his hands over Daniel's and Daniel's cock did something to him, made light flash in front of his eyes and he roared as he climaxed, his come pulsing out in hot jets to cover his abdomen and the sheets.

Daniel gritted his teeth as Jack's muscles clamped down on him, arched his head back and moaned as he filled Jack, grunting with each pulse of come into that tight, hot ass. After long shaking moments they tightened their holds on each other, and Jack said huskily, "Goddamn Daniel."

Daniel pressed a kiss to Jack's ear, "Oh yeah." And he suddenly winced, "Are your knees.."

This made Jack smile as he relaxed bonelessly, letting Daniel hold them both up, "My knees hate me, but I'm good."

"Ohgod." Daniel carefully got them laid down and gently pulled out, wincing when he saw some blood on his cock. He straightened Jack's legs and rubbed his knees, "Oh Jack."

Jack raised up on an elbow and placed gentle fingers on Daniel's lips, "Stop fussing, I'm fine." He said it sternly, and felt Daniel smile against his fingers. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Pot, kettle."

Daniel moved up to lay beside Jack, wrapping his arms around him, "Thank you." He whispered, his nose against Jack's cheek.

"Hey, it was my first time, thank you." Jack quipped. He felt Daniel tense up beside him, then felt the younger man turn his head to look into his eyes, "What?" Jack asked teasingly.

"Your first time?" the younger man squeaked in shock.

This made Jack chuckle, "Yep, you deflowered me Daniel."

"I, I." Daniel stuttered slightly

"Oh yeah, I love you too Danny." Jack smiled smugly, loving that he could make his archeologist and linguist speechless.

Taking a deep breath, Daniel leaned over and kissed Jack, "Me too."

They cuddled for a long while, exchanging lazy kisses as the enormity of the change in their relationship hit home. Jack turned on his side and cupped Daniel's cheek, "I need to talk to Carter." His brown eyes were honest.

"She's met someone." Daniel said quietly, his blue eyes sharp on Jack's face.

Jack's eyebrows went up, "Really? Who?"

"A policeman, his name is Pete. Pete Shanahan. She met him while you were gone."

"Well, good for her." Jack said, pleased. He noticed the uncertainty in Daniel eyes and pulled him close, "Let me tell you something Dannyboy. When I was gone, I realized that while I missed being at home, I missed you most of all. It took me awhile to figure out why, but I think it was the day after I escaped from Ba'al's Jaffa, and saw the sky was the exact same shade of blue as your eyes, and that's when it hit me."

Daniel sighed happily, "Sap.", he said, lying his head on Jack's shoulder and running his fingers lightly through his chest hair, "I don't know when I realized I loved you. I just knew my heart ached when you were gone." He fell silent. Then his stomach growled, and Jack's echoed, making both of them laugh.

"Oh crap, doc wanted me to feed you." Jack exclaimed, sitting up. He got up and pulled a laughing Daniel up with him, hugging tightly. "I'm so glad I have you to come home to."

The ache that had plagued Daniel from the moment he'd seen that wormhole close without Jack, floated away on the strength of Jack's arms around him. "Oh, me too."

The end...