The Wrong Carter

by Belladonna

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asb/belladonna/wrongcar.php
Summary: Rodney's friend and ex-lover, Jack Carter, comes to Atlantis from Eureka. Rodney wants to know why, and so does John.

Past~

"Look, Dr. McKay. It's just a loan to Global Dynamics. You fix the problem in their..." the General looked down at his paperwork. "Whatever the hell it is," he said, since whatever the hell it was, was beyond him, "and you can come back to Area 51. Okay?"

"A loan?" Rodney screeched. "I'm ~not~ a library book!"

*

The conversation was moot, apparently the Air Force happily ~did~ lend out their personnel like books, or pens, or maybe slightly used reactors, Rodney thought as he got out of the car and looked around the bucolic town of Eureka.

"Ohmigod. They've dropped me in Smallville!"

As he looked around in dismay, a black man walked up to him with a smile. "Dr. McKay? Hello, I don't know if you remember me..."

"Dr. Deacon, it's good to see you again," Rodney said with relief. They'd met at a Physic's conference once upon a time and he considered him marginally intelligent.

"Let's go into Vincent's. He's got a cup of coffee to die for," Dr. Henry Deacon said and Rodney thought he would worship at the man's boot shod feet.

That was the last kind thing he thought about Henry Deacon because the rest of the events were kind of hazy, but involved trying to strangle the man, getting arrested and now he was cooling his heels in the local pokey.

The blond Sheriff got off the phone and was staring at him thoughtfully. It made Rodney wish he didn't have coffee spilled all over his shirt. "What? Did I grow horns?"

"Henry decided not to press charges. He thinks you've been under a lot of stress working for the 'goons' in New Mexico." The man smiled tolerantly at Rodney's snort.

The door opened to Sheriff's office opened and the blond sighed and rolled his eyes. "Stark, why are you here?"

Nathan Stark, head of Global Dynamics smiled. "Hello, Sheriff. I'm merely here to bail out my newest employee."

The Sheriff turned to Rodney. "Oh, I'm sorry for you. Are you sure you don't want to stay here?"

Rodney smirked. "Hello, Dr. Stark. Thanks for the rescue but that idiot decided rightly not press charges. It's a good thing that I was arrested since he'd decided to get into the battle of wits unarmed, anyway."

"Oh good," Stark said blandly, watching as the Sheriff let him out. "Now, do you have a place to stay?"

Rodney frowned and patted his pockets. "Something about a B and B," he began but the Sheriff interrupted.

"You're out of luck, there, Dr. McKay," the Sheriff said cheerfully. "She's just left for some conference out of town. But you can stay with me and Zoe."

"Um, are you sure?" Rodney asked him, not sure how to take such unasked for generosity. And from the look on the pretty deputy's face, she was surprised as well.

"SARAH will love to have someone else to fuss over. It'll be fine. My name is Jack Carter, by the way."

"If we're done with the male bonding?" Stark asked, suppressing a smile as Carter grinned. They'd always been at each other's throat since the Sheriff had been hired. Fighting over Allison, over Global Dynamics policies, over Fargo's experiments...It was a bourgeoisie kind of fun to poke at the other man, and in the past couple of years they'd developed a sort of friendship.

"My suitcases are in my car," Rodney said, "and you've got my keys and I'm sure Dr. Stark can give me a ride? I can't wait to see what your idiots have come up with. Let's go, chop chop," and he swept out of the Sheriff's office.

"Huh," Jack said with a grin. "Good luck, Stark."

"Just kill me now," Stark murmured and departed after his errant employee.

~*

Present~

"And this is the head of our Science Department," Rodney heard John say, which meant that the new batch of complete idiots had arrived and his department was about to fall into total chaos once again. He raised his head to say something pithy, but froze when he saw who it was.

"Jack?" Rodney slowly stood, hardly able to believe his eyes.

"Rodney? Rodney McKay." Jack Carter smiled widely. "Holy cow! How are you?" he asked and pulled Rodney in an enthusiastic bear hug.

Rodney let his arms go around his former lover, his eyes closing as he absorbed the familiar scent and feel. "Ohmigod, I can't believe it!"

John eyed the two men and felt a twinge of jealously at the unexpected affection, on both sides. "So, I take it that you two know each other."

Jack pulled back and beamed at Rodney. "I kept Rodney sane, and out of jail, while he lived in Eureka."

"Ha ha. Just because you were ~Sheriff~," Rodney said scathingly, rolling his eyes. "How's Zoe and ~why~ are you here?"

"He's the new head of Civilian Security," John interrupted. "And we've still got to see Elizabeth."

Rodney's eyes narrowed as he regarded the men. "Head of civilian security? Since when did we need that?" He waved a hand at John who was about to answer. "Nevermind. Apparently I ignored that meeting. So, Jack. We're gonna have to catch up."

"Yep," Jack agreed, then he smirked. "Good to see you again, Mac. I missed you."

"Yes, yes. I missed you like a hole in the space time continuum. I missed Zoe, no, I missed ~SARAH~ more than I missed you," Rodney snarked, making Jack laugh.

"Aw, never change, Mac."

Rodney looked surprise. "Me change? Why? I'm perfect."

John snorted and Jack laughed until Rodney chucked his pen at him and ordered them out of his lab.

~*

As they walked down the passageway, John shot a confused look at the still chuckling Jack. "Who are Sarah and Zoe?"

Jack grinned. "Zoe is my daughter, and SARAH was my smart house back in Eureka. She's a lot like Atlantis, only mouthier and she always had beer."

"Huh," John tried to make sense of what he'd heard. "How did you meet Rodney?" he asked instead.

Jack made an amused snort. "I didn't so much as meet Rodney, as arrest him for assault and being a public nuisance."

"Oh, I wanna hear that story," John replied as they turned into the conference room.

"What story?" Elizabeth enquired as the entered.

"Rodney and our new head of Civilian Security know each other," John explained. "I'm trying to get him to spill the goods on Rodney."

"Really?" Elizabeth asked. "I'd like..." she began but stopped and tapped her headset. "I'm in the middle of a meeting, Colonel. Can this wait?" She listened for another moment, then sighed. "Very well." She looked at Jack and John apologetically. "I need to take this meeting with Colonel Caldwell. Mr. Carter, I'll look forward to speaking with you later?"

Jack waved a hand. "Call me Jack and I totally understand. Caldwell was fussing that he had to get back to Earth." Elizabeth smiled her thanks and disappeared. "So, what do we do next?" he asked John.

"Well," John said mischievously. "I'll show you your quarters if you tell me why you arrested Rodney."

"Deal," Jack replied with a grin.

~*

Rodney was in his lab when John came in, a wicked smile on his face. "So, you were arrested."

"Oh god," Rodney groaned. "I'm going to kill Jack. Seriously."

"I don't know," John said thoughtfully. "A fistfight in a restaurant? Doesn't sound like you." Yeah, right.

"Just shut up," Rodney pouted. "You don't know Henry Deacon. He could drive an Asgard to drink. Thinks he knows quantum physics," he scoffed, but his eyes were twinkling. Eureka was a surprisingly good memory.

"So, you and Carter seem pretty tight."

"Yeah, we were lovers for awhile," Rodney said absently as something on his computer caught his eye. He froze, blinked at the screen as he realized what he'd said and looked up at John challengingly. "And yes, I realize that there are rules about that but we're civilians and I'm Canadian and your stupid rules don't apply to me."

John raised his hands. "Whoa! I'm not saying anything. And just for the record, I ~so~ didn't need to know that you and Carter did the horizontal mambo." He paused, frowned, then his eyes went wide. "Hey, wait a second! When you've talked about ~Carter~, you've been talking about ~him~?"

"Sometimes," Rodney shrugged. "Okay, mostly."

"What about ~Major~ Carter?"

"Well, for ~some~ reason when you're working with the military it's more acceptable to wax poetic about breasts than cocks," Rodney replied sarcastically.

"Huh," John said, his whole world upside down. One thing that was clear, he was definitely jealous as hell. He could compete with Major Carter because she was still on Earth. He couldn't compete with Jack Carter, who was here in Atlantis and already knew Rodney better than he did.

And didn't that just suck.

~8*

In the cafeteria Jack was regaling John, Teyla and Ronon with life in Eureka when Rodney came over and slammed down his tray. "I hate you."

Jack smirked. "I've got pictures of Zoe."

Rodney rolled his eyes and held out his hand. "The only good thing you haven't screwed up. Let me see them." He snapped his fingers impatiently.

Teyla watched with interest as Jack pulled out his wallet and handed over the pictures. "That is your daughter, Zoe?" she peered at the photo of the pretty girl with blue and yellow hair.

"Yeah," Jack said. "She's twenty and thinks she can solve all of the world's problems."

"I think all twenty year olds believe that," John said with a smile. "I love her hair."

Rodney grinned. "~I~ hope you had a coronary." He'd fallen in desperate love with Zoe, the smart-mouthed, shop-lifting, (though she'd stopped ~that~ when SARAH almost blasted her into little bitty pieces) teenaged terror. She'd become almost like a daughter to him and he'd been the one who'd gotten her into Stanford, though Jack didn't know.

Jack snorted. "Nice, Rodney. She dyed her hair Ronald McDonald red when she was sixteen. I think I can deal with blue streaks."

"Where is she?" Ronon asked curiously.

"She's at Stanford," Jack said proudly. Which started John and Rodney talking over each other as they tried to describe higher education to Ronon, and only left him more confused.

"Hey Rodney," Jack interrupted. "She still calls you 'Rod-Mom'," he said slyly, chuckling as Rodney groaned.

"Why would she call you that, Rodney?" Teyla asked curiously.

"Rodney came to Eureka and helped Sta... our scientists with some problems we were having at the time and he lived with Zoe and I. Zoe complained that he fussed over her like a mom, and the nickname was born," Jack said with a smile.

"Like her mom was so great she couldn't tell the difference," Rodney grumbled. "So, have you met with Elizabeth yet?" he asked at Jack's glare, handing the pictures back.

John answered. "This afternoon. Caldwell is having kittens about something and he wants to leave right away."

Rodney's eyes went big and he stuffed the rest of his sandwich into his mouth and with a hasty wave disappeared.

Jack laughed fondly. "Still the same Rodney."

John didn't reply, because his perceptions of Rodney had changed. Oh no, for him, he wasn't the same Rodney at all.

~*

Rodney finally tracked down his busy friend the next day, plopping into one of the chairs in Jack's new office, mentally closing the door behind him. "So, what's going on, Jack?"

Jack looked at him blandly. "What?"

"I thought that when I left you'd be all over Stark. And I don't mean Allison. So what happened?"

With a sigh Jack sat back in his chair. "Rodney, it doesn't matter."

"Oh, I beg to differ," Rodney said, girding himself for a fight. Jack was a lot like John, talking about his feelings was pulling teeth, with pliers. "You ran all of the way to Atlantis. Why?"

Jack threw down his pen. "Oh, for god's sake. If I tell you, will you go away?" Rodney smirked and Jack rolled his eyes. "Right, I forgot who I was talking to."

"I'm listening," Rodney intoned solemnly, making Jack chuckle.

"Fine. I was stupid, okay? I finally worked up the nerve to make my move, and we had a couple of dates before Allison figured out what was going on, got pissed and gave Nathan his hearts' desire. She asked him to get back together. He told her yes, he told me no, and I left."

"Bloody idiot," Rodney said, and at Jack's look he nodded. "Not just you, Stark too."

"Gee, thanks for your support," Jack replied sarcastically.

An eyeroll. "Seriously, genius here. But even an idiot could see that you two practically sparked. I all but threw you at each other! Who's keeping the town out of the crapper now that you're here? Surely not Jo," Rodney snorted. "She'd rather play doctor with Taggert."

"Ew, please," Jack complained. He sighed again and eyed Rodney. "Nathan had wanted to get back with Allison for a long time. I understood, it took me awhile to get rid of my wedding ring. I just didn't expect..."

A soft, "To fall in love?" made Jack flinch. The memory of Nathan breaking up with him, the incredible hurt, still haunted him.

"No. Yes."

Now Rodney sighed. "Damn. I'm sorry, Jack."

"It's fine. Now I'm here, let me do my job," Jack said briskly. "By the way, I don't see your reports for the past..."

"Whoops, look at the time!" Rodney chirped and left.

Jack shook his head with a grin and leaned back in his chair, propped his feet up and went back to reading. He wasn't going to think about Nathan.

~*
A month later-

John was feeling stalkerish. He'd been hanging around Rodney a lot, even when he didn't know it. Okay, he wasn't ~technically~ stalking, he was just making sure that Rodney didn't fall into bed with Jack, and that meant making sure Rodney was keeping busy. Very busy.

"What are you doing here again?" Rodney demanded as John stepped into the lab.

Trying charm to deflect, John smiled and put his hands into his pockets. "You don't have anything I can turn on?"

Rodney snorted. "I can take that several ways, Colonel."

John frowned as he thought about what he'd said, then laughed. "Well, I only meant it in one way. But..." he let the word trail off and smiled with satisfaction as Rodney spun his chair around to stare at him.

"You're not..." Rodney began when Jack Carter stuck his head in.

"Hey, Mac, ready to eat?"

Rodney gave John a sharp look before smiling at Jack. "Sure, give me a minute. Would you?"

"Oh no," Jack said, crossing his arms. "I give you a minute and it turns into the thirty. Eat with me now or get stuck with powerbars."

"Fine, whatever," Rodney grumped.

"You want to join us, John?" Jack asked politely.

"Nah," John said. "I've got a couple of things."

Rodney's eyebrows went up. "But you said..."

"Yeah, gotta run," John said and turned around and left.

Jack saw the look on Rodney's face, and the look on John's, and caught a clue.

*~

Jack watched thoughtfully as John walked over to another table with his tray, totally ignoring Rodney and himself. "So. You didn't tell me that you had the hots for Sheppard," he said.

Rodney choked on the huge bite he'd just taken, then coughed violently into his napkin before taking a big swig of coffee, all while scowling. Jack watched out of the corner of his eye as John pushed to his feet in alarm, then when he saw Rodney was okay, sink back down pretending disinterest.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Rodney hissed across the table.

"Hmm, me thinks you're protesting a bit too much," Jack smirked.

Rodney threw his napkin down and pointed at Jack. "Don't do anything, Jack! I can handle my own love-life."

"Uh huh, like you handled mine?" Jack said tartly.

"Hey, I can't help it if you and Stark fucked it up," Rodney replied self-righteously.

"Two words, Mac. Bite me."

Radek chose that moment to sit beside Rodney. "I must have misunderstood. Rodney has a lovelife?" he enquired, blithely ignoring Rodney's snarl.

*

Back in Rodney's office, Jack sprawled in Radek's chair and eyed his friend. "I don't get it. You had no problem jumping me," he began, ignoring Rodney's eyeroll and 'Ohmigod, will you just DIE?' expression. "And I know you like him."

"He's my best friend," Rodney said with exasperation. "You, I didn't care about so much."

"Ouch, I'm wounded," Jack said, dramatically placing a hand on his chest.

Rodney sighed. "He's also military and I really don't want my teeth down my throat, okay? Now will you let this go?"

"I'll repeat what you told me, Mac. You won't know until you try," he said. Jack got to his feet, grinned maliciously at Rodney and left.

This made Rodney bang his head on his desk until Radek came back and smacked him to make him stop.

~*

John was running in the middle of the afternoon. Why? Because he was clearly insane. He couldn't compete with Jack Carter, and he felt like whining because it was so unfair. And he couldn't even claim that Rodney had been his first.

"So, can we talk?" a voice came from behind and John couldn't help groan as Jack jogged up beside him.

"What do you want, Carter?"

"The Wraith to disappear and Allison Stark to become ugly, but, hey, we can't have what we want, huh?"

"Ya think?" John grumped. He didn't know who Allison Stark was but he could get behind the sentiment.

"I wanted to let you know that I'm not here to get into a relationship with Rodney," Jack said, beginning to pant slightly.

"Whatever," John said, pressing his lips together and running a little faster. He was spitefully enjoying the fact that Jack wasn't in that great of shape.

"Can we stop before I drop dead of a heart attack?" Jack asked him plaintively.

John slowed, then stopped and turned. "What do you want, Jack?"

Jack took a deep breath and lifted up his t-shirt to wipe the sweat off of his face. "Listen, I'm not looking for a relationship. I just got out of one, okay? And Rodney is already taken."

"What? By who?"

"Geez," Jack look up in supplication. "By you, you dumb grunt."

John blinked. "I think I woulda already known."

"He's my best friend and he's military and I won't do that to him." Jack was obviously quoting someone.

"Wait a second. ~Rodney~ said that?"

"Um, yeah," Jack said. Rodney hadn't said that ~exactly~, but who was he to let semantics get in the way. "Look, I've said my piece. Rodney wants you, not me. So can you cut me some slack?"

John looked at Jack's outstretched hand, then at Jack. "You know he'll be annoying about how he knew and I didn't," he said and shook his hand.

Jack smirked. "And hey, he's your problem, not mine."

~*

John was still reconciling his conversation with Jack when Elizabeth found him. "John, we're going to have an important visitor coming with the Daedulus."

"Let me guess, that Woolsey guy?"

"Ohgod, I hope not," Elizabeth said with an eyeroll. "No, they would've put his name in the message. Just to rub it in."

"There's no ~name~?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "No."

John considered this. "Well, I guess we'll see. No use borrowing trouble."

"Can you let Jack know?" she asked. "I think we can safely assume that our guest is a civilian."

"Yeah, no problem."

Jack grunted when John told him. "I'll assign quarters. Do we know who it is?"

"No idea," John said cheerfully. It used to be one of his jobs to find somewhere for visitors to crash, he was tickled he didn't have to do it anymore. No more complaints, no more trying to scrounge up pillows like he was a goddamned concierge in some hotel.

"You're enjoying this too much," Jack grumbled.

"Yep."

~*

Rodney would never admit that he was in the gate room out of curiosity. He would claim legitimate reasons like making sure there were no power fluctuations, but the real reason was he liked to watch John. His ass. His Newtonian theory defying hair. His grin. His way too obvious flirting with anything on two legs. A familiar man stepped up beside John, and Rodney had to sigh. Jack wasn't hard on the eyes either. Especially in those tight khaki pants he favored.

People starting to materialize in the gateroom right on time, and when he saw one of the new arrivals, he choked. "Ohmigod!" then he spun to stare at Jack, who hadn't noticed because he was busy chatting with Elizabeth. Rodney turned back around and headed down, spitting mad. "You have some nerve coming here after what you did!" he yelled.

Nathan Stark stopped gawking at Atlantis and gave him that familiar -'I'm so superior look'. "Hello, Rodney. I didn't know that you were here," he said, the obvious implication that he wouldn't have come if he ~had~ known was not lost on Rodney.

"Don't hello me, you pompous, mentally challenged, obviously sexually confused hack of a scientist!" Rodney spat, poking his finger into Stark's chest.

"Rodney, let's not perforate the guests," John called, a bit anxiously as he tried to thread through the newbies and the crew to stave off a possible Rodney-disaster.

Surprisingly Stark wasn't fighting him off, and following his stare, Rodney glanced over his shoulder to see Jack stare back at them in surprise, and then head their way. "See? You could've had that but no..." he stopped when Stark grabbed his arm.

"I don't want to discuss this now, Rodney," he said quietly but firmly.

"Tough! Hurt him again and I'll carve your heart out with a spoon, then dump your remains in a wormhole," Rodney hissed as John came up, Jack on his heels.

"Geez, Rodney," John said in a scandalized voice as he heard Rodney's threat.

He rolled his eyes at the implied rebuke. "Colonel John Sheppard, this is Dr. Nathan Stark of Global Dynamics," he introduced. "Stark is the nitwit that..."

"Mac, go round up some of your new scientists, would you?" Jack interrupted smoothly. "They're wandering around loose and might break something."

Rodney looked at Jack for a moment, then turned to Stark. "Don't forget what I said," he said sharply before leaving to make sure his precious Atlantis wasn't going to blow up from incompetence in the next five minutes.

John watched the three men like a tennis match and wondered what in the hell was going on. Normally Rodney didn't unleash his sarcasm or threats this early. "Nice to meet you Dr. Stark."

"Likewise, Colonel," Stark said but his eyes were on Jack.

Shifting, John cleared his throat. "So, Jack. Why don't you show Dr. Stark his quarters and then maybe to see Elizabeth?"

"Sure," Jack said, waving a hand. "After you, Stark."

*

Jack wasn't sure how to feel as they headed down the passageways of Atlantis, making their way around other new arrivals and Atlanteans. He'd come to Atlantis to let his heart heal, he'd put a lot on the line when he'd listened to Rodney and made the decision to see if Nath...~Stark~ was interested too. He'd been thrilled when Stark had accepted, and the next few months had been filled with the excitement of discovering each other. A sigh escaped him. The sex had been fabulous.

Then Allison had discovered their relationship, informed by that little sneak, Fargo, and she'd freaked. Then Beverly (who he now privately called 'bitch shrink'), had decided that Allison had unresolved issues and pushed her into getting back with Nathan.

And Nathan had chosen her. And it still hurt.

"Sheriff," Stark began hesitantly.

"I'm not the Sheriff here," Jack said sharply. "Everyone calls me Jack, but you can call me Carter."

"Carter," Stark said quietly. "I made a mistake."

Jack stopped, then turned and stared. "And you had to come here and tell me that? Allison wasn't satisfied that she won, she sent you to get a pound of flesh too?"

"What?"

"You know what? Never mind," Jack snapped. "I'll send one of the Marines to escort you to see Dr. Weir."

Nathan began to panic. "Jack, please. Can you just let me finish?"

Jack grabbed his arm and dragged him into one of the quirky decorative architectural corners that the Atlanteans had plopped in random hallways. "So, talk," he said, his arms folded across his chest.

Sighing, Nathan ordered his thoughts. He knew that this was more important than any fundraising presentation he'd ever given. And he'd already screwed it up once. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Jack. Carter."

"I'm fine."

"Zoe called me to tell me I was a rat bastard and that I broke your heart," Nathan corrected with a pained smile.

Jack groaned, mortified, and covered his face with his hands. "I swear she shoulda been spanked more when she was little."

~

"Rodney!" John hissed and frowned ferociously at Rodney who flapped his hands at John to be quiet as he eavesdropped on the two men.

~

Nathan chuckled. "No, she made me realize that I made a mess of things," he said quietly. "I got off of the phone after her lecture and turned to look at Allison, and I realized that I had royally screwed up. So I demoted Fargo, fired Beverly and told Allison that I'd made a mistake and after breaking about six thousand laws to figure out where you were, came here." He stepped up to Jack, eyes serious. "I love you, Jack Carter."

~

John finally understood all of the tension between the three men, and grinned as Rodney did a victory dance.

~

"That has to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say, Stark!" Jack snapped.

~

Rodney's mouth dropped and John winced.

~

"What?" Nathan said dumbly.

~

"I'm gonna kill him!" Rodney hissed.

~

"You can't demote Fargo! You know what happens when he's bored? Henry will string you up when we get home!"

Nathan blinked. "What?"

~

John silently laughed as Rodney did his victory dance again.

~

"Fine, I'll reinstate Fargo."

"What about Allison. Are you going to get divorced?"

Nathan cleared his throat. "We didn't get married. I believe that subconsciously I knew that it wouldn't work and kept too busy to do any planning."

There was a short silence, then Jack chuckled. "Hey, Nathan. You wanna go out to dinner some time?" he asked in what was obviously a memory that the two men shared because Stark sucked in a breath and said "Why Sheriff, I never knew you had it in you," and then Jack moaned.

~

Rodney leaned so far forward that John had to grab him by the belt so he wouldn't fall over into the doorway. There was the sound of another kiss and a long moan, and John jerked Rodney back and around the corner so they wouldn't overhear something potentially more embarrassing. Or have Rodney hop around the corner and tell them 'It's about time you fucking idiots' or something equally helpful.

"Colonel? Do you know where Jack and Dr. Stark are? I can't raise him on the radio," Elizabeth's voice said in John's ear.

John looked at Rodney as he tapped his earpiece. "Jack and Dr. Stark are old...acquaintances. They're catching up but should be in your office soon, Elizabeth."

"Catching up? Is that what they're calling it now?" Rodney mocked cheerfully.

"That's fine," Elizabeth said while John rolled his eyes at Rodney.

*

Jack Carter had gone back to Earth with Dr. Stark and John was surprised to find that he missed him. They had a similar sense of humor, and shared a love of football and he kicked himself for letting his jealousy get in the way of what had started becoming a great friendship.

John decided that regrets were worthless, huffed out a sigh and decided to look for Rodney.

He found him, buried under a console with his legs sticking out and even those radiated irritation, which made him grin. He kicked one of Rodney's feet and had the satisfaction of hearing a thump and a curse.

"What? What? Are you trying to kill me?" Rodney complained vociferously as he yanked himself out of where he'd been working and stood, rubbing his head.

"Nope," John said. He tilted his head and eyed the scientist as he handed over a powerbar, "I want to ask you something."

"Ohgod, what now?" Rodney grabbed the power bar and ate it in two huge bites.

It occurred to John that he loved the irascible, impossible man. He loved Rodney's crankiness, his complaining, his steadiness under fire, his odd affection. And instead of trying to articulate all of that, John reached out and grabbed Rodney by the t-shirt and hauled him in for a kiss.

Rodney froze, and for a moment John thought he'd broken him, but then Rodney's mouth opened and so did John's view of the world. The taste of raisin and honey powerbar and coffee greeted him, a tongue sliding sensuously against his and making him hard. They stood that way, exploring each other until John heard the door open, a chuckle that had a definite Czech flavor, then the door closing.

He pulled back and enjoyed the way Rodney's eyes fluttered open, blue almost covered by the black of his pupil.

"You couldn't have picked a better place to have your epiphany?" Rodney bitched. Ah, nope. Not broken.

John grinned and kissed Rodney's cheek. "Hey, wanna have dinner some time, Rodney?"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Please, how lame was that?"