Sticks And Stones

by Berty

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asb/berty/sticksan.php
Summary: It's not big and it's not clever. No tension, drama, angst, no one dies, it's not deep or meaningful. It's just silly - I can do silly

Jack landed in the leaf litter a split second after Daniel. The smell of fungus rushed up to meet them and they both lay panting, holding as still as they could to stop the rustling.

"What are you doing?" Daniel whispered.

"Running away," Jack hissed back.

"Not that...the other thing,"

"Other thing?"

"Yes...the other...mphhhhhh!"

"Cover me!" Jack snapped, leaping up and breaking for the nearby tree line. Daniel hefted his rifle and diligently scanned the vicinity for hostiles. When he saw Jack signal, he scrambled up the bank and ran, half-crouched to where Jack was covering him in turn.

"Jack," Daniel repeated as his back hit the rough bark of the tree.

Jack held up a warning finger, then indicated two incoming targets and that they should go around.

Daniel considered pretending not to understand; it was always a good way of irritating the colonel, but once again Jack took him by surprise, then loped off into the woodland leaving Daniel in his wake.

But Daniel was ready for him when Jack hunkered down in the lee of a rock outcrop a few minutes later.

"Okay...talk," Daniel muttered, his eyes nervously scanning the surroundings, watching for movement.

"'Bout what?"

"The kissing."

"What kissing?"

"You KISSED me," Daniel accused in an aggrieved whisper.

"Did I?" Jack murmured, his practiced eye roved back and forth, assessing the terrain and working angles. He was seemingly unimpressed. "Stress of the situation," he shrugged, leaned in and pressed warm, dry lips against Daniel's unprepared ones...again.

By the time Daniel had thought about this, Jack was indicating that he should precede him up the scrubby slope to their right. Giving him a scowl that implied that one of them was being unprofessional and that it wasn't him, Daniel set off up the incline at a trot.

"So, it's the stress of the situation?" Daniel started again when their position overlooking the Stargate was secure.

"Yeah, s'very common," Jack explained, his eyes hidden by his binoculars.

"Four times?" Daniel asked incredulously.

"Yep. Widely documented reaction to life threatening situations."

"Life threat...? They have sticks," Daniel pointed out, exasperated. Jack dropped the binoculars and regarded his friend.

"SHARPENED sticks, Daniel," Jack corrected, shaking a 'you mark my words' finger at the unimpressed younger man.

"We have assault rifles, Jack" Daniel sighed. "I don't think it's going to be a BIG problem, if they get too close."

"And rocks," Jack offered, looking at Daniel hopefully.

"Rocks," Daniel clarified. "Sticks and rocks."

"Yep."

"Life threatening situation."

"Yep."

"You're delusional. If you think I'm gonna buy...mphhhhhh... mmmmmm."

This time, Jack's hands came up to cradle Daniel's head as he rubbed warm, smooth lips over his friend's. Daniel tried to be outraged and stiff, but the subtle scrape of Jack's jaw against his cheek was excitingly different, and instead, he parted his lips slightly - purely in the spirit of scientific investigation. His hypothesis was proved a second later when Jack's tongue softly ran along the line of his front teeth, then swept, hot and rough over Daniel's tongue before withdrawing.

Jack sat back, licked his lips and watched.

"You been in many life threatening situations, Colonel?" Daniel enquired coolly when he could trust himself to speak, not whimper.

"Not as many as you might think," Jack replied with a quirk of his sexy, scarred eyebrow.

They were losing the light now. Daniel sat with his back against Jack's, watching their rear flank while the Colonel monitored the activity around the gate in the valley below. From time to time, Daniel would take a deep breath, open his mouth to speak, then think better of it and subside back into the loaded silence between them.

"We should start moving. They're due in fifteen minutes," Jack said finally.

Daniel slung his P-90 over his shoulder and rose gracefully from the damp ground. Jack got up more slowly, impatiently batting away the hand that Daniel offered.

"Make a guy feel old, why don'tcha?" Jack grumbled.

"Make a guy feel horny, why don'tcha?"

Jack's head jerked up to look at Daniel more closely. A grin began to break across his face. "Seriously?"

"Perfectly natural reaction to high stress situations...apparently," Daniel said haughtily. With a quick glance at his C.O., he moved off down the slope, taking point without an order.

It was true, the natives of PPL - 21R were not exactly a military presence to be reckoned with, but Daniel guessed that a rock in the head would hurt enough to make it worthwhile to stay alert.

They made good time and found a vantage point from where they could see the gate and the clearing it stood in. The lynch mob milled around, lighting torches and making "kill the outsiders" type noises.

<Fourteen? > Jack signed.

Daniel nodded; fourteen men armed with sticks between them and home. And while their superior firepower made these odds stack very heavily in their favour, they didn't relish the idea of having to shoot people whose only crime so far was being frightened of travellers coming through the gate. Daniel had tried all his standard 'we come in peace' stuff, but these guys must have been here alone for a long time.

When the first chevron lit and the gate began to turn, there was a real yelp of alarm from the gathered crowd. This alarm turned to abject terror when the wash from the wormhole raced out toward them where they had herded together like sheep.

Pressing themselves flat against the tree, Jack and Daniel watched as the hunting party fled past them into the forest, discarding their sticks as they ran.

"Colonel O'Neill, this is the SGC. Please respond." Sam's voice crackled softly from Jack's radio.

"We hear you, Carter."

"We have SG-6 standing by, Sir."

"Negative, Carter; tell them to stand down, the gate is secure." As he muttered into his radio, Jack's eyes strayed over to Daniel. "Our ETA is five minutes," he concluded.

"Copy that, Sir. See you in five."

The gate closed with a gulp and Daniel made a face at Jack. Five minutes? They weren't more than fifty yards from the gate. Daniel pushed away from their cover and began to edge towards the DHD.

His path was suddenly blocked by Jack, who was crowding him, forcing him to back up against the bark again.

Daniel instantly raised his rifle, senses straining for Jack's perceived threat. But Jack was smiling wolfishly, his attention squarely on Daniel, not the surrounding wood.

With a swift hand, Jack caught the back of Daniel's head and crashed their lips together. Daniel capitulated immediately, opening his lips to Jack's insistent tongue and sucking it into his greedy mouth. With his free hand he found the edge of Jack's vest, then he was burrowing under the layers of clothing to spread his fingers over Jack's warm skin, pulling him hard up against him.

This was madness, this was dangerous, and this was... utterly wonderful.

Jack insinuated a knee between Daniel's legs, leaning his whole body into him as they kissed, frantic, hard and mouth-bruisingly good.

Finally, Jack leaned away, gentling the kiss, which became as achingly tender as it had been desperately wild. Daniel traced a finger down the other man's face as the space between soft kisses became longer and longer.

"Life threatening situations, eh? Never can tell how a man will react until they come across one," Jack murmured, raking his fingers through Daniel's hair and setting his glasses straight.

They broke from the trees, shoulder to shoulder, covering their retreat. Jack's rifle swept the clearing as Daniel dialled the DHD and watched as the gate ground out the coordinates that would take them home.

"You know the thing about life threatening situations is that you never know when one might turn up," Daniel mused as the third chevron shuddered into place. Jack glanced at his friend, but Daniel's eyes were firmly on the gate.

"Yeah, it's a kicker," Jack agreed.

"I, for example, have an unbelievably dangerous apartment. God knows how I've survived this long, really."

"Really?" Jack echoed.

"Yeah, there's a particularly nasty jar of pesto that's been in the back of my refrigerator for months. Could get me any time," Daniel continued.

"Pesto?" Jack grinned.

"And don't get me started on the rugs in my living room...death traps the lot of them," Daniel nodded, studiously avoiding Jack's eyes.

"So, you...um...want me to come over and watch your back?"

"Well, it is getting a little tedious, sorting out all these natural reactions to life threatening situations by myself," Daniel said significantly.

The wormhole settled and they turned to back up the steps with their rifles trained on the peaceful trees.

"Jack!" Daniel gasped urgently.

"What?"

"Watch out for that step, Jeez - that was close!"

Jack blinked in surprise as Daniel wrapped a strong arm around his waist and pulled him in for a final kiss before stepping through the event horizon.

"Perfectly natural," he told PPL - 21R and followed.