3 Hours After 38 Minutes

by Braycat

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asb/braycat/38minutes.php
Summary: Rodney gets some help sorting through a batch of conflicting feelings after 38 minutes

A scientist didn't curse, at least that's what he kept telling himself. Still, Rodney swore again as he wiped the wetness from his eyes. A grown man shouldn't cry.

But he couldn't help it. He had never felt so damn miserable in his life.

The doorbell chimed, at least Rodney thought that it must be bell. He couldn't tell for sure, no one had ever rung his bell before. McKay straightened, wiped his eyes with his sleeve, then composed himself with a huge sniff then moved forward. Ready to face whoever was on the other side.

The door slid open, accompanied by a gasp. Rodney didn't know who he was expecting but he was sure it had to be business related. Dr. Beckett with a new theory about gene therapy perhaps, or Elizabeth Weir summoning him to unravel some new mysterious object that they discovered in the wondrous but insanely puzzling city, although she had always summoned him by the comm in the past, that's why he was totally floored to find that the leader of the leader of the Athoseans standing in his doorway. "Teyla!"

Rodney had never really talked to the woman outside of a business type setting, and quite frankly, the scientist was at a loss for words.

Fortunately the Athosean wasn't so crippled. "Good evening Dr. McKay. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"Oh no." McKay deadpanned. "I was just cleaning a few things up." The scientist waved toward an incredibly sparse room.

Teyla noted that there was nothing to clean but made no comment on that. "In that case, may I come in for a moment?"

Still caught off guard McKay realized that standing still and staring with his jaw hanging open wasn't the sign of a proper host, so Rodney simply nodded, stepped back and allowed the woman to enter.

Teyla made a small effort to project interest in the scientist's quarters before giving it up as a bad job. The Athosean leader perched herself on the edge of McKay's bed and got directly to the point. "I came by in order to see if you were all right."

''What!" The surprises never stopped coming. "Why would you be concerned about me? I wasn't the one with a radioactive mutant fly sucking the life out of my neck."

Teyla totally didn't understand the reference, but she was an intuitive leader, and immediately saw the truth beyond the verbal bluster. "It is true that you were not physically assaulted by the Wraith-like creature that attacked Major Sheppard, but that does not mean that you were not injured."

"I'm afraid that you've lost me." As a scientist McKay had found the spiritual ways of the Athoseans to be a little vague at times, not to mention extremely annoying. "I wasn't hurt.''

"I believe that you were. I saw your pain clearly every time you looked at Major Sheppard." Teyla sent him a gaze that pierced him to his very core. "You're in love with him, aren't you?"

"Shhh..." Rodney forgot where he was for a second and waved his hands for her to be silent. Then, when he looked around and realized that they were in the privacy of his own room the scientist calmed down a little bit, but his reaction was instinctive, and with good cause. ''Please, please don't say that again where anyone else can hear."

"Why not. Do not you human's believe in love?"

"Between a man and a woman yes.'' Rodney struggled to explain. "Human society is a little less accepting of relationships between members of the same sex."

''Surely you are joking." Intolerance of any sort was something that Teyla simply couldn't understand. "How could love, even among males not be accepted?"

''The thought of sex between men makes some human males uncomfortable, others become aggressive."

That caught Teyla's attention. She sensed that they were about to explore uncharted territory here and didn't shy away. "How do they display this aggression?"

Rodney sat heavily on the bed, his mind so lost in the past that the fact that he was sitting only inches away from a beautiful woman didn't even register. "Usually just through taunts or name calling, but sometimes the straights get a little more violent."

That sent a chill flowing through Teyla. "How violent?"

Rodney shrugged. "One night, back when I was in college some guys jumped me while I was on my way back to my dorm. They beat me up so badly that I was in the hospital for a month."

"That's barbaric!" Teyla had been thinking that the human's were quite an advanced race, but this put them into a whole new and less flattering light. Then a horrific thought struck her. "Surely you don't think that Major Sheppard would beat you?"

Rodney, who had been lost in the past, snapped right back into the present. "No, of course not. Sheppard's not that kind of a guy. Heck, I don't even think he'd mind that I'm gay, not that he doesn't suspect all ready."

That made Teyla feel a little bit better. She had always thought herself to be a good judge of people. She knew Sheppard could be trusted, still it was good to have that impression confirmed. However, there still was something that she didn't understand. "If you are so sure that Sheppard will not mind knowing that you are 'gay'..." Teyla stumbled a bit over the strange word that she assumed meant homosexual. "Then why do you not tell him how you feel?"

"Because, he'd be embarrassed." It finally dawned on McKay that he was sharing the same personal space with a beautiful woman and the man became so overwhelmed with nerves that he had to jump off of the bed in order to get some room. "Sometimes it makes people uncomfortable to know that someone has feelings for them when those feelings aren't returned."

Ah. Now Teyla understood all. She got to her feet and confronted the scientist. ''How do you know that your feelings of affection are not returned?"

"Well, duh..." McKay had thought had thought that Teyla was an intuitive person, but here she seemed to have missed the obvious. Then again, Teyla wasn't human. Maybe it wasn't so obvious to her. McKay tried to cut her some slack. "Sheppard has got to be straight. He's too macho for anything else, besides, even if he did swing both ways..." McKay hung his head as decades of self doubt kicked in. "He would never be interested in a geek like me."

Although Teyla didn't understand one word in ten, she got the gist. "You are wrong." The Athosean leader placed both hands of friendship on the shoulders of the distraught man and forced McKay to look into her eyes. "You did not see the look of concern upon Sheppard's face as he stared down upon your body as you lay unconscious after saving us from that energy feeding alien. The major was most concerned."

That brightened up Rodney's hopes just a bit. "Really?"

"Indeed." Teyla confirmed. "In fact the major was the first to reach your side. I believe he cares for you most deeply."

"Maybe." Was she right? McKay was going to have to review that gate room surveillance tape first chance he got, but that was for later. Teyla was still standing right in front of him, expecting him to say something profound. "Well, the most important thing is that Sheppard will be okay, right?"

"Yes, the major will be fine." Teyla cocked her head to the right and stared deeply into Rodney's eyes. "The question is, how are you?"

That took a second. McKay was still a geek in a stud-man's land, and the scientist wasn't quite ready to believe that all his hopes and dreams could ever really come true, but any possibility, even a remote one, was worth hanging on to. Suddenly he felt a whole lot better than he had just five minutes previously and it was all due to the efforts of the incredible woman standing before him. "I'll be fine, thanks to you.

Yes, Rodney thought, everything was going to be just fine now.

Fini