Misconstrued Misconduct 4

A Little Bit Of Cheer

by Cynical_Coat

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asc/ccoat/miscon04.php
Summary: Hope finds the most unlikely places to take root and grow

It was the equivalent of Christmas on Atlantis, and everyone had pitched in with the decorations, really getting into the spirit of the holiday, no matter their own religious affiliations if any. The control room was festooned with garlands and the sort of pinecone ornaments that everyone had made in grade school, thanks to the Athosian children and some of the more tolerant expedition members. They had dragged a large pine in from the mainland, setting it up in what had become the commissary, and decorating it as well. Halling and one of the other Athosian men had arrived soon after hauling in a large sledge bearing several dozen glass baubles that they had fashioned as soon as the holiday was explained to them. They had a similar holiday, though lacking in the Christian symbolism that no one mentioned much. They called it the 'Naming Day of the Stars', and the ornaments matched that perfectly, catching the light and shining like the very stars they were meant to represent.

It was only a few days after the tree was erected that the presents started to appear. The first bore a tag that read 'To: Atlantis, From: Santa', prompting Rodney to make a joke about reindeer and hyper-space engines that had the scientists laughing for days. After that, more and more presents were found under the tree, many from 'Santa'. It made sense... this was the perfect time to give a present to someone without having to go out on an emotional limb.

So the day that John came across a small box labled 'To: Major Sheppard, From: Santa' in what was unmistakably Rodney's handwriting, he pretended not to know... not wanting to ruin the Christmas surprise.

Wrapped up as every one was in the holiday cheer, no one noticed one person pulling even further into the shadows. He hadn't been very popular on Earth, or on Atlantis before the incident with the Wraith bug... but afterwards had been even worse. The other scientists hardly listened to him, thanks to Weir and McKay, and through McKay's relationship with Major Sheppard the military presence in Atlantis had all but ignored him. When they weren't hassling him, that was. They all acted like he had wanted them to die, choosing to overlook the fact that he had been trying to avoid the destruction of the entire city. Trying to save more than just the six lives trapped in the Jumper... looking out for the greater good. No, they hadn't seen that, and Weir had openly accused him of bringing it up to save his own ass. These people didn't even know him, and already they felt that they could judge him like that?

Calvin Kavanaugh had all but locked himself in his lab, running simulations and tests on his own little cache of artifacts, blocking out the sounds of merry-making and trying not to see the evidence of happiness all around him. After all, it wasn't for him. None of it was. He hadn't been asked to participate in any of the decorating or festivites. When hunger finally forced him to the commissary, he didn't need to check to know that there was nothing under that tree for him. There never would be...

He pushed the thoughts away, concentrating on the device in front of him. Unconsciously convinced that he would be accepted if he found something phenomenal and useful, he had been working at least eighteen hours a day. It was starting to take a toll on him.

So when Rodney McKay appeared in his doorway, he ignored it. That had to be a dream... or maybe a nightmare.

"Hey... Calvin. Can I come in?"

Couldn't possibly be real... McKay didn't ask permission. Especially not politely.

When the apparition didn't disappear after a moment, he shrugged and pushed his chair back from his desk.

"I don't see how I could stop you." The mask of arrogance that he had adopted fell into place without a thought. It was what people expected of him, why not let them have it?

McKay either didn't see it or choose to ignore it as he came in and leaned against one of the work tables.

"How come you didn't come to the party last night?"

"I wasn't aware that I was invited."

McKay frowned.

"All the other scientist's were there... I sent the invitation to your email myself. Grodin and Zelenka were asking about you."

This definately had to be a dream...

"I must have deleted it." He said, as off-hand and aloof as he could manage, though there was a trace of doubt in his mind now. "I wouldn't have gone, anyway... I'm very busy."

McKay looked around.

"I can see that... Where are your assistants?"

Kavanaugh bristled at that. Of course, McKay had just come to bait him... he'd known it all along.

"Oh, I don't know... Why don't you check *your* lab?"

McKay frowned again, but Kavanaugh ignored it. As he had been ignored.

"Is there anything else, Dr. McKay? If not, I have a lot of work to do." Without waiting for a response he turned back to the device on his desk. He didn't even hear McKay leave.

***

"I'm telling you, Major, there's something wrong with Kavanaugh."

"And you're just figuring this out, McKay?" John said, and Ford snickered into his glass. Rodney rolled his eyes.

"No. I don't mean 'normal' wrong... this is something else."

"Like what?"

"Like a total lack of holiday cheer!"

"And you're an authority on cheer now, McKay?"

Rodney drew himself up, gesturing with his fork.

"I'll have you know that I am a veritable font of jolly, Major."

"That sounds a little... complicated." John said, keeping a straight face only as long as it took Ford to completely dissolve into laughter. Rodney let himself join them after a second.

"I admit that I'm not usually the most upbeat person here, but the hoildays have always been a special time for me." He tried not to see the question in John's eyes. With any luck, his present would explain eveything.

-with any luck, he won't know it's from me...-

"So, will you help me?"

"Help you with what?" John asked, and Rodney grinned.

"Thank you, Major... you won't regret this!" He said quickly before rushing off to find Carson.

"I won't regret what?" John called after him, but he didn't have time to explain... not yet anyway.

***

"Do I even want to know why you're asking?" Carson asked, looking up from the chart he was studying.

"Why does everyone assume that I'm up to something?" Rodney shot back, crossing his arms defensively.

"You are, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah... but it's nothing bad."

Carson raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You want me to disclose personal information about the base pariah, and won't tell me why... and you expect me to believe that this won't come back to bite me?"

"Yes. Why is that so hard to grasp? And how is me knowing the circumference of Calvin Kavanaugh's head going to hurt anyone?"

"I can only imagine..."

"No wonder he thinks everyone hates him."

"Rodney... what is this all about?" Carson leaned a bit closer, putting down his clipboard and fixing Rodney in place with an intense stare. Rodney shifted his feet and swung his arms, looking for all the world like the little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Fine... Calvin is avoiding Christmas." He said quietly. Now both of Carson's eyebrows scaled his forehead.

"And you've taken it upon yourself to change that?"

"Yes."

"And knowing the circumference of his head is going to help you do that?"

"Yes."

"Sometimes..." Carson began, shaking his head, "Rodney, I think you've finally crossed the line."

"And what line would that be?" Rodney snarked back, angry at being balked.

"The fine line between genius and outright lunacy."

"Ha ha. Time is a bit of a factor, Carson. Are you going to help or not?"

"Not. Without knowing why." He crossed his arms. "Why do you need to know the size of his head?"

Rodney blushed faintly.

"So I can make sure the hat'll fit."

"What hat?"

"The Santa hat that I'm about to go commission Ford to make for me."

"What?" Carson said, his mouth actually dropping open before he could get his surprise under control. Rodney's blush darkened, his voice shaking slightly and his eyes darting around the room, looking at everything but Carson.

"For when Kavanaugh hands out the presents on Christmas? He needs a proper hat, and unless you know of someone who brought one with them...?"

"No... Calvin agreed to this?"

"Not yet. With any luck, he won't have the chance not to."

"Are you sure it's wise to spring something like this on him? He isn't the most cheerful person." And if that wasn't an understatement, he'd eat his stethoscope...

"That's exactly the point." Rodney declared triumphantly, crossing his arms again.

"I can't argue with that."

"No, you can't, can you?" He replied, smiling smugly.

Carson copied the information onto a disc and removed it from his laptop, still not handing it over.

"Fine. But if I find out that Calvin has his head stuck in anything, I'll hold you personally responsible, regardless of your alibi."

"So if someone else takes it upon themselves to do him in, you'll blame me?"

"If it has anything to do with his head." Carson said with a smile, finally giving Rodney the disc. "Didn't you say time was a factor?"

"Right. Thanks, Carson."

***

Having set Seamstress Ford to work on the hat, Rodney snagged Sheppard and pulled him into his lab, for once oblivious to the fact that he was actually touching the Major and still managing to remain coherent. Mostly.

"You want me to what?"

"It's relatively simple, Major."

"Then why don't you do it?"

Rodney glared at him cheerfully. It was an alarming combination.

"I tried. All I got was a weak kind of static that gave everyone in the lab a headache."

"And the idea is to make him cheery, not suicidal."

"Right."

"So how do I do it?"

"I was kind of hoping that you could tell me."

"Right..."

***

On the other side of the city, Calvin failed to consciously notice the nearly silent Christmas music suddenly filtering through his intercom, even though he was soon typing in tune with it.

***

"It's like boiling a frog. You have to do it incrementally." Rodney said proudly. Sheppard glanced at him sidelong.

"I'm not even going to ask..."

Rodney looked at him, still wearing that marginally alarming smirk/grimace.

"If you put a frog in boiling water, it jumps out. But if you put it in cold or just warm water and heat it slowly, it won't. It'll boil to death and it won't even move." He seemed almost gleeful.

"I thought I said I wasn't going to ask?"

"I know. But then I wouldn't have gotten to explain."

Sheppard had to admit that that made an insane sort of sense.

"How long are we going to do this?"

"Until he's cheerful."

"So... forever?"

"Probably."

"Great."

"I have to go talk to Elizabeth about the rest of the plan... If he moves, follow him on that monitor. And keep to the incremental scale. There's no way he'll agree if he thinks he's being manipulated."

"But he is."

"Ah, but he doesn't know he is." Rodney pointed out, with all the patience of a sage... and all the pent up excitement of a little boy. "Just keep an eye on him..."

"Yes, sir, evil genius, sir!" Sheppard said with a mock salute. Rodney frowned.

"Not evil. Jolly."

"Right. You're a regular St. Nick."

Rodney nodded and left. Sheppard turned back to the monitor and smiled. He knew that he'd be at this hare-brained scheme all night, he probably wouldn't get any sleep at all. And he didn't care... he'd lost track of when 'Operation Win Over Rodney McKay' had become 'Operation Get Rodney McKay To Fall Head-Over-Heels In Love With Me', but somewhere along the way... it just had.

"And there's no way he'll agree if he thinks he's being manipulated." Sheppard murmured with a smirk and went back to work. If willingly watching Kavanaugh work for hours on end wasn't a sign of true love, he didn't know what was.

***

"If you can get him to agree, Rodney, you can do what ever you want." Elizabeth said, not looking up from her laptop until he clapped his hands. She was shocked by the utter glee on his face. "Rodney... are you feeling all right?"

"Yes, of course. Why?"

"You're just--- I've never seen you this happy." She smiled at him. "And whatever the reason is, I'm glad. Merry Christmas, Rodney."

"Right... Merry Christmas. Now, I have a lot of work to do, so---" He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. She nodded.

"By all means. You have your work cut out for you. And Rodney?" He turned back, having already been halfway out the door. "Good luck."

"Thank you, Elizabeth..." He said sincerely before leaving to go back and see how John was doing. He passed Calvin in the hall on the way.

Calvin was humming.

***

**Two days later...**

"Good work, John." Rodney said, patting him on the shoulder with only a trace of awkwardness. Somewhere in the last two days they had fallen into the habit of calling each other by their first names almost exclusively. And the invisible barrier that he had once imagined surrounding John had disappeared, making physical contact of any kind much easier.

John grinned up at him, a little worse for wear, but not any more than when on mission. Better than most missions, actually...

"Thanks, Rodney. It was tough, but I think we've finally got him in the holiday spirit."

"It's about time to test that theory..." He replied with trepidation. As much as he liked-- make that loved-- to be proven right, this was the part he often dreaded. There was the chance that this wouldn't work at all, and while it wouldn't be life-threatening this time, he'd still put a lot of effort into this, and so had John... to have it fail now...

"Good luck." John said, and Rodney nodded, heading for the door. "I'll be watching." He added, and strangely, that made Rodney feel better. More confident, somehow.

***

Rodney was surprised to find the door to Calvin's lab open, and the small space bustling with activity. There were people laughing and singing and generally making merry. And in the middle of it all, Calvin Kavanaugh was smiling. Rodney forged through the crowd, meaning to ask where everyone had come from. They hadn't been there when he was watching with John... he stilled the question on his tongue before he could give himself away. Instead, he looked around in unfeigned amazement.

"This is a change."

Calvin looked up at him and grinned.

"You could say that, McKay..."

"What happened?"

"It's a funny story actually." Calvin said with a hint of a laugh. "I was just sitting here working... and it seems I started singing. Simpson and Grodin were coming to drop something off and when the walked in, they were so shocked that they just stood there... And then, well..." He laughed outright as Peter came over and finished the story for him.

"And I was so surprised that I joined in. Before any of us knew exactly what was going on, everyone who walked by started coming in."

Simpson dropped into the seat across from Calvin, typing something into her laptop before adding,

"I hadn't realized that he's been doing all this work by himself. It explains a lot..."

Rodney smiled, wondering way he hadn't thought of this sooner.

"Well, looks like my work here is done."

Before Calvin could respond to that, Zelenka edged passed them and snorted.

"Taking credit for Christmas Miracles now, Rodney?"

"Some one has to." That earned him another snort and a grin. He tapped Calvin on the shoulder. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Calvin looked confused, but it was a measure of how far a little attention had gone that he got to his feet and followed Rodney into the hall.

"What's the matter?"

"I, ah... Elizabeth told me to pick someone to be, ah... to be Santa. Tomorrow. When we open presents snd everything, and.. ah..." He held out the small cloth bag that Teyla had given him to put the hat in. Calvin took it and opened it, pulling out the hat.

"You want me to be Santa?" Calvin asked slowly, and Rodney fought the sudden urge to snap or blush or both.

"Ah... yeah... Unless you don't want to-- ?"

Calvin gave him an appraising look and then nodded.

"I'd be honored."

Rodney sighed and smiled.

"Good... good. I, ah, have some work to do..." He said, suddenly feeling awkward instead of anxious.

"Right. Me too..." Calvin moved back toward the door, glancing back before going inside. "Thanks, Rodney..." He seemed to mean more by that than just the hat warranted. Rodney nodded and headed back to his lab, wondering if Calvin had known all along... or if he had only imagined that.

***

Once everyone had found their way to the commissary, Halling helped Calvin place the large cloth wrapped box on the table. It was the one marked 'To: Atlantis, From: Santa' that had started this whole thing. Teyla stood up beside it and smiled, taking in the whole assembly, and gesturing for Elizabeth to stand.

"The one you call Santa contacted me some weeks ago with a grave problem... What to give the people of Atlantis for Christmas. It was not difficult to think of a whole list of objects which are needed here, but he said that it had to be the one thing needed most. The one thing in shortest supply." She nodded to Elizabeth and they began to unwrap the box.

"Atlantis," Elizabeth said, loud enough to be heard but still subdued. "We give you hope." She pulled away the last of the covering to reveal a finely carved wodden chest. It was obvious that a lot of work had gone into it's creation.

"It is a tradition among the Athosian people, upon the creation of a new village, for the leader of one village to present the new leader with a Chest of Dreams." Teyla intoned. "It is my honor to present you with this token, Elizabeth Weir. May all the dreams you entrust to it be fulfilled." She touched her forehead to Elizabeth's and then drew away, nodding to Halling, who opened the chest and withdrew an object that made Rodney's breath catch until he realized that it was only a clever reproduction of a ZedPM, not the real thing. Halling replaced it and pulled out several other wodden figures: A fish, something that looked vaguely like Earth corn, and a decorative shield.

"These are our dreams for our two peoples." Halling said as he replaced them reverently.

"And ours." Elizabeth replied. John glanced around and started to clap slowly. Everyone else picked it up until the whole chamber echoed with cheers and applause. After a moment, Elizabeth raised her hands for silence. "Calvin, you're on."

Calvin stepped up to the tree and seemed to deliberate before choosing a present for one of the Athosian children. Rodney was impressed. He hadn't known that Calvin knew the children's names.

Rodney fought to keep his anxiety inside as Calvin came closer and closer to the present he had made for John... he didn't know if Calvin was doing it on purpose, but it seemed like he almost picked it up several times and then changed his mind.

Finally...

Rodney watched as Calvin handed the small box to John. He held his breath as John laughed about how long it had been since Santa had remembered him. He clenched his hands into tight fists as the lid was slowly removed, and tighter still as John's eyes rose to meet his...

But that smirk... that smirk was all wrong.

John was showing Carson and Teyla the contents of the box, and then they laughed as well...

It was only when John turned it around and showed him the familiar Swingline that he got the joke.

He'd been had. After all of this...

The presents had been switched.

Across the large room, he heard Jinto crow in surprise as he unwrapped the small yet perfect replica of a Puddle Jumper that Rodney had carefully crafted... and saw John grinning somewhat sadly as he held up the infamous stapler for all to see.

Rodney sighed. At least there was little chance of Jinto figuring out that the Jumper was actually a puzzle box... and even if he did, he wouldn't be able to read the letter Rodney had hidden inside.

-fin-