Blast From The Past

by Clancy Thomas

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asc/clancy/blast.php
Summary: Just as Daniel is about to let Jack know how lonely he is, an old friend turns up and forces Jack to wonder exactly where he wants his friendship with Daniel to go.

As he strode down the corridors of the SGC towards the laboratories, Colonel Jack O'Neill was feeling happy, positively sanguine actually. The last few missions had gone quietly and according to plan. The Goa'ulds must have been on summer holiday because there was no activity noticeable from their corner of the universe, no members of his team had been near the infirmary for, oh, at least a week or three and he was finally on top of all that report writing that had been piling up on his desk for a good couple of months.

On top of all that a thin yellow envelope had appeared for him in the post that morning. He'd opened it up and shifted through the official documents held inside as he ate his breakfast. At the bottom of the document were two signatures plus witnesses. This was his copy to keep, and treasure it he would. Resisting the urge to jump for joy (which would be unbecoming for an airforce colonel even in the privacy of his own kitchen in his own house which he shared with, well, no one) O'Neill calmly put the documents back in the envelope and made a mental note to file it later. Finally, his divorce from Sara was final.

Jack didn't regret the years he'd spent married to Sara. They'd had a lot of fun together and of course he still loved her, even if he wasn't in love with her, and then of course there was Charlie. That was a bond which would never be broken. But just recently things had been starting to get a bit irritating. Sara herself had initiated the divorce proceedings and Jack had been quite okay with making the separation final. He couldn't see them ever reconciling and time was ticking on for Jack. If he was going to make a go of a new start he wanted to do it before he hit fifty. Not that there was anything wrong with middle age, of course.

Jack really didn't give a damn about any of the financial carve up of their life together, what was important had always been kept relatively separate. They had separate houses in separate titles and Jack wasn't the type of person to engage in petty squabbling regarding the dinner set or the stereo. But when it had come to signing the papers Sara had suddenly become difficult and pedantic, in Jack's opinion. Things had been dragging out over the past few weeks with phone calls back and forth from lawyers offices and Jack's answer was always the same - 'tell her of course she can have it, anything she's got I obviously haven't missed these past two years!'- but still she put off signing .. Until there it was, in black and white on Jack's dining table.

So now he really was a free man and Jack just had to tell someone. He drove to the SGC at full speed. After a scheduled meeting with General Hammond, Jack was free to share the news. He resisted the urge to skip down the corridor to Dr Jackson's study where he knew Daniel and Sam were working today on some . artifact something . Kinda technical artifact thingy well, Jack knew what he meant.

As he breezed airily through the door of Daniel's study, Jack got the distinct impression he had interrupted something. Daniel and Sam had been on the far side of the office, Sam leaning casually against the workbench and Daniel standing very close to her with his head leaned in to her as if he had been speaking very intently or something. When Jack entered they both looked up, momentarily startled, and Sam snapped to attention. Daniel on the other hand, acknowledged his entrance with a slight wave of his hand and started to shuffle papers very busily on his desk, refusing to meet Jack's eye. Jack decided to ignore the scene he hadn't quite been in time to witness (whatever had been going on!) and not let it ruin his day. He swaggered over to Sam

'Guess what!'

Sam smiled indulgently at him as if he were a favorite nephew. 'What is it Colonel?'

Jack looked over at Daniel who was still shuffling papers, and cleared his throat pointedly. Daniel looked up and had the good grace to look slightly ashamed for, well, Jack didn't want to know what he and Sam had been up to, he really didn't.

'That was directed at you too Dr Jackson.' Jack barked.

'I'm not good at guessing games Jack.' Daniel said somewhat tiredly. Sam raised her eyebrow at him. 'Okay maybe I am, but I'm not in the mood right now Jack.'

'Too bad Danny Boy because you're going to kick yourself that you didn't take the time to try to guess what it was that is going to make me an utterly pleasant, calm and all-round good guy for the next week and a half at least.' Jack added as an afterthought.

Sam gave Daniel a let's humor him look. 'Let's see.. um..' Sam mused for a while. 'Your ice-hockey team won the championship?' She raised her eyebrows hopefully. Jack gave her a dirty look. 'Better than that, and besides, it's January.' Jack looked expectantly at Daniel. Daniel looked bothered.

'How the hell should I know?!' He threw up his hands in exasperation. 'You found a way to run beer through your kitchen taps, you taught Teal'c to polka, you just got voted no. 1 in Vogue's 100 Sexiest US Airforce Colonels! I really don't know and I really don't care!' Daniel slammed his hand down on the workbench.

'Take a chill pill Daniel, any one of those would have enough to put me in a really good mood but I'm sorry to say your guesses were way off the mark. Something tells me neither of you are really trying.' Jack could feel his good mood gradually slipping away.

Daniel and Sam raised their eyebrows at each other. Sam held out a conciliatory hand. 'Sorry to take the wind out of your sails Colonel but Daniel and I were having a pretty intense conversation when you walked in and I guess neither of us were prepared for your exuberance.' She faltered slightly.

Now it was Jack's turn to raise an eyebrow. 'I wasn't aware I was being exuberant, Major. I must start taking lessons from Teal'c on the appropriate amount of emotion to display when I am feeling happy!' Jack raised his voice to a crescendo as he completed the sentence. 'May I inquire about the nature of this 'intense' conversation?' There was no way Jack was going to let them off easy now that they had spoilt his good mood.

Daniel sighed impatiently. 'It was just about the artifacts we brought back from PTX393. I'm having real trouble getting a grip on the translation of the glyphs and Sam's finding the chemical analysis of the construction material just as hard going. The material is completely unrelated to anything we've encountered before, it's clay but it isn't clay if you get what I mean, and the glyphs are way out of my area. They look kinda cyrillic and when it comes to early middle and Eastern European inscription systems I'm near to useless.' He ran a tired hand over his forehead. They'd been working on this all night with no breakthroughs, not so much as the corner pieces of the jigsaw had emerged.

Jack wasn't convinced that this was what he had walked in on a few minutes ago but his temper softened when he realised how defeated Daniel looked and sounded. It wasn't often that the kid found something which he couldn't get some sort of grip on. Daniel's confidence was tenuous enough at the best of times and Jack knew how much this would wear him down. How he would be going over and over it in his head, forgetting to eat or sleep, until he had an answer. Maybe, Jack could make up for his quick temper by passing on another piece of news he'd had that morning.

'Take a break for a bit Daniel. Why don't you join me and Sam and Teal'c for some lunch. You look like you could use some nourishment. You're not going to be working alone on this one. I spoke with General Hammond this morning and he's called in a team of consultant linguists to give you a hand. We get to meet them after lunch when they've signed all the confidentiality contracts and you know, eaten their security codes and whatnot.' Jack hoped to raise a smile out of Daniel with that last comment.

Daniel just rolled his eyes. 'Oh great, he calls in a team of consultants but he doesn't even consult me on what type of help I need. That's just great. You know there are different types of linguists, we're not one big homogenous group. You can't just shove this at a 'linguist' and say 'go on, translate that' when his area of expertise might be Mandarin of the first dynasty or glottal stops in indigenous east African languages or the effects of Spanish infiltration on nomadic Patagonian Indians!' Daniel was getting quite het up. He started banging his books about as he took out his frustration on tidying up his desk into some sort of non-order.

Jack put out a concerned hand and grabbed Daniel by the arm, as Daniel suddenly stopped clattering about his desk and calmed down, Jack turned his tight grip into a friendly pat on the arm. 'Don't write them off just yet, you haven't even met them. Maybe one of them will come in useful.'

Daniel crossed his arms petulantly and glared at Jack. 'Sometimes I just get a bit sick of all this secrecy in the military. I'm not allowed to discuss this work with people who I respect and know could shed a lot of light on to the research we do here. When they do get people in to assist me, the security requirements are so stringent the only ones that get through are the academics without the slightest ounce of initiative or creativity who've toed the party line their entire career and never taken a risk and are therefore next to useless for the kind of groundbreaking stuff we're doing. Give me someone with an open mind and an ability to think laterally, that's not too much to ask. Everything's a secret, even my personal email is screened' when Daniel stopped for breath, Jack jumped in.

'Daniel, our work is kept secret for a reason, you know that. Ordinarily, your whinging would be getting on my nerves right now but because today is today, you have my utmost sympathy. Now let's all go and have some lunch.' Jack held out his hand to Sam. 'Major?' Sam grabbed his hand and shook it firmly. 'Agreed.' She turned to Daniel. 'Come on Daniel, cheer up.'

Sam gave Daniel a gentle shove between the shoulder blades and he reluctantly walked out of the office with them.

As they walked down the corridor Daniel turned to Jack suddenly remembering. 'Was that what you wanted us to guess, Jack? That there was a team of linguists arriving today? That's a funny thing for you to get excited about, if you don't mind me saying.'

Jack sighed. 'No Daniel that wasn't my good news. Funnily enough the thought of more geeks and eggheads wandering around this facility not looking where they are going doesn't put me in the throes of ecstasy.'

Sam was nearly beside herself in exasperation. 'Then what is your good news sir?!' She burst out.

Jack tried hard to look impassive. 'Oh, nothing really, just my divorce papers came through, signed, sealed and delivered. Today.'

Sam smiled. 'Congratulations Colonel.' She said warmly. 'I guess you're relieved it's all finally over.'

'I certainly am Major, I feel like today's the start of the rest of my life.' Jack paused. He looked at Daniel who appeared deep in thought, his head down and hands in his pockets as he walked along slightly behind the colonel, not looking where he was going and letting the sound of their voices lead him on to the cafeteria.

Jack snorted. 'And thank you for your warm congratulations, Dr Jackson, I appreciate it.' He said in a loud sarcastic voice.

Daniel looked up at him and Jack caught his breath as he noticed in Daniel's eyes an emotion he never thought he see directed at him, Colonel Jack O'Neill. Those eyes sent a look of pity. Pity? Jack felt a surge of anger. Daniel was doing his best to spoil this day for Jack wasn't he? 'What?' He hissed through clenched teeth, not trusting himself to say more.

Daniel caught the sentiment in Jack's voice and suddenly his face closed up. His eyes became a blank. Daniel quickly threw out some gabbled words. 'Well, if it's what you want then I'm happy for you Jack, but I always think it's sad when a marriage finally ends, even though you and Sara have been living separate lives for over two years now. I guess that after that long apart it would be quite impossible to reconcile but I still think it's sad that what you once had together is over. I uh. Congratulations Jack.' Daniel finished hurriedly.

Inwardly Jack cursed his stupidity. It was the phrase 'living separate lives for over two years' that triggered his understanding of Daniel's reaction. Of course, Daniel and Sha're had been living apart for that long, though not by choice. He wondered if Daniel was having doubts about whether he and Sha're would be able to make their marriage succeed after such a long separation, if indeed they ever found her and freed her from Amonnet. But that didn't explain the pity, and he was sure it was pity, he had perceived.

'I'll meet you and Daniel down at the cafeteria Colonel, I've just got to get something from my quarters.' Ever the perceptive one, Sam had deduced that Jack and Daniel might benefit from a little private chat and she hurried off down a side corridor. She didn't really need to go to the sleeping quarters but she opted to take a circuitous route to the cafeteria. Maybe Teal'c would be up for a quick game of ping pong if she popped in on his quarters on her way.

Jack took a sidelong peek at Daniel. Daniel had retreated back into his shell again, head down and hands firmly in pockets. Jack sighed. He was a man of action and this situation was in need of some action. Fortunately, they happened to be coming up to a supply room. Jack grabbed Daniel by his shirt collar and yanked him through the door into the supply room. Daniel yelped in protest but was caught pretty much unawares and was at the mercy of Jack's strong hands. Jack held him gently but firmly by the arms and positioned him with his back to some shelving so he couldn't escape. Jack stood between Daniel and the door.

Wondering what to do next, Jack sighed, he hadn't really thought this one through and now he was going to have to say something to Daniel to help him to open up about what was depressing him. Jack released one arm and ran his hand through his hair.

'Now then okayum..' Jack faltered, searching for the words. Daniel provided them himself.

'Sorry Jack if I didn't react the way you wanted me to.' He mumbled somewhere in the direction of Jack's midriff. Then he looked up and Jack saw with shock that Daniel's eyes were filled with tears threatening to spill down his cheeks. He looked away, embarrassed to see the naked emotion on his friend's face. He shuffled his feet awkwardly. Daniel's face flushed as his shame turned to anger, catching Jack off-guard he raised his forearms and broke away from Jack's hold, stepping up close to him, face to face.

'You think it's something to celebrate do you?' He hissed vehemently at Jack. 'The death of a marriage? All you are thinking about is the choices you have now aren't you? You're thinking 'oh, now I'm officially divorced there's nothing to stop me doing whatever I want', you're thinking that this is the start of a new life for you and you have the choice to spend it with whomever you choose.' He practically spat out those last three words. 'But don't forget Jack, while you're celebrating your new life, you also have the choice of spending it alone, and more often than not that choice will be made for you. It's not fun Jack, being alone, and lonely. I for one, have had a gutful of it. So forgive me if my congratulations seem a little insincere.' As quickly as it emerged, as the fight seemed to empty out of Daniel and he slumped back against the shelving. Jack noticed he had succeeded in fighting back the tears and his face was now a stone wall. Impenetrable.

Jack realised he couldn't let the conversation end with that. He pulled Daniel up to his eye level and held him there again with a hand on either shoulder.

'Daniel, I've been alone for the past two years. I know exactly what you mean and no, it isn't much fun. But that's not why I was happy about my divorce. I was relieved it was finally closing that chapter of my life. I don't expect earth-shattering life changes now, but don't pity me Daniel. This was my choice.'

The emotional intensity of the conversation left Jack spent. Things could never be just ordinary with Daniel, there was always some high drama lurking just beneath the surface.

Jack thought of all the missions where he'd spent the nights listening to Daniel thrash about in his tent, caught in the throes of a nightmare. And he'd been through so much to have nightmares about. Jack imagined inside Daniel's brain was a library of folders, each one marked 'traumatising experience 09237A' or similar, and each night a malign spirit selected one and read it aloud to Daniel in some grotesque parody of a lullaby.

Daniel had been so unlucky in his family and affairs of the heart - first orphaned then, for all intents and purposes, made a widower. Jack didn't know much about Daniel's past, between his childhood and the first mission to Abydos, but he thought it was a fair assumption to make based on the evidence that Daniel didn't have much of a life outside work, that he had been alone or a loner for much of the time. He remembered how he'd idly wondered on that first mission if Sha're had been Daniel's first. He'd seemed so shy and naïve, unsure of what to do, how to react. But Jack mused that that was probably how Daniel did it. Especially based on subsequent missions where at one stage it seemed that alien women found Daniel Jackson just irresistible.

Maybe all that shyness and innocence was just an act to lure them in? Jack groaned inwardly as he thought of Daniel in the throes of sexual passion with some faceless female. Dominating and experienced. The image sent shivers up and down his spine.

Jack wasn't sure if he was actually attracted to Daniel Jackson, but he knew that imagining Daniel going at it with someone, anyone, was by far the easiest way for him to get a hard on. Back arched, head thrown back in passion, sweat glistening on his soft, bronzed skin, a moan escaping those wet, ready lips, hands running all over his smooth, firm chest.... Oh alright so maybe he was attracted to Daniel, but Jack put it down to the fact that he rarely spent time with anyone outside of his team lately and his fantasizing faculties were becoming somewhat parochial and insular. If that were possible. Wasn't it? And Sam, Teal'c and Hammond just weren't his type. That Jack knew for sure. But did that mean Daniel was his type? Surely not, everyone was agreed that Daniel was good-looking, Jack wasn't alone there, even Janet blushed every now and again when she conducted his physicals. Jack was obviously just reacting to that. Yes that was it.

Jack mentally slapped himself round the head. Get a grip Jack O'Neill! He looked at Daniel leaning despondently against the shelving. Come on Jack, your friend needs reassurance and all you can do is think about what he looks like naked! Jack ran his hands through his short greying hair. In the end however, it was Daniel who broke the silence.

He lifted his head and looked straight at Jack through watery eyes. 'Sometimes I just get so lonely.' He said with an intensity which surprised Jack. The thought flitted through Jack's mind briefly that maybe Daniel had left the sentence unfinished. That what he really meant was 'Sometimes I get so lonely.... without you.' He tried to block out the thought and think of something to say to Daniel to make the world seem a little brighter. They were standing so close now that Jack could feel Daniel's warm breath on his neck. He could just lean in and reassure Daniel with a soft, gentle kiss that would tell him he need never be lonely again if only he would let Jack O'Neill.... but that was impossible. Jack did not feel like this. He didn't. And Daniel was undeniably straight. Jack shook himself abruptly and grasped Daniel by the shoulders again.

"We all get lonely Daniel. Deal with it. You've got your friends, a job you love, a wife...' Daniel started to say something but Jack cut him off. "Don't tell me you've given up on her Daniel. We'll find her one day and maybe it will be like you two never left Abydos. Maybe you can pick up exactly where you left off, the image of Sha're grabbing Daniel and pulling him into a passionate embrace in front of Jack and the other airmen sent to collect Daniel from Abydos swam in front of his eyes.' Daniel tried to interrupt but again Jack wouldn't let him. "Or maybe she'll have changed completely, just like you have changed in these past two years. Maybe you won't be compatible anymore, in which case you set each other free and move on. But that's a lot of maybes so don't go getting depressed over what may never happen.' Jack paused for breath. Daniel looked away and shrugged.

"Sure, you're right Jack. I'm being stupid, self-indulgent. I'll make more of an effort to look on the bright side of life.' He half smiled, not completely sincere but coming close. Jack thought that was probably as good as he was going to get, and stepped back releasing Daniel's shoulders.

"Come on then, I'm starving.' He motioned for Daniel to walk out of the room before him. Daniel shuffled forward and the two men walked down the corridor towards the cafeteria.

~~~

Daniel was late for the introductory meeting with Hammond and the consultant linguists. He'd had lunch with Jack, Sam and Teal'c, who incidentally had thrashed Sam soundly at ping pong, then gone back to his office to get the notes he'd been making on the glyphs translations.

The meeting was being held in the briefing room and Jack, Sam and Teal'c went straight there. As they entered the room Jack briefly summarized his first impressions of the consultants to himself. Jack believed in first impressions, and he wasn't impressed.

General Hammond was sitting at the head of the table as usual. The three consultants sat along the right side of the table. The first looked like your typical academic, in Jack's stereotyped opinion - a skinny older man with a white beard and a propensity for saying things like, well, propensity. The second was a small, dark haired woman, about Jack's age, with eyes that darted everywhere. Jack felt he knew her type immediately - the pocket dynamo careerist type, ruthless and conservative- he was sure and he didn't give a damn how sexist his assessment was. He knew immediately that Daniel would not get along with that one.

His eyes roamed over to the third consultant seated at the far end of the table, his gaze coming to rest on the slim young man with unkempt dark hair who was constantly fidgeting with the folder in front of him and shifting in his seat. The man raised his eyes and made direct contact with Colonel O'Neill, and Colonel O'Neill did not like what he saw. The man's eyes had a cheeky, mischievous gleam in them as he almost imperceptibly raised an eyebrow in a subtle salute meant for Jack and Jack only. Then he wiggled his ears. Once. Jack almost thought he was imagining it.

Colonel O'Neill made a mental note. That one was going to be trouble, he could smell it.

Jack turned and saluted General Hammond as did Carter and Teal'c.

"At ease people,' said Hammond and gestured to the consultants. "Let me introduce Professor John Finnigan, formerly of Cambridge University but now retired, who has generously agreed to lend some of his extensive knowledge to this project. Professor Finnigan, may I introduce Colonel Jack O'Neill, Major Samantha Carter and Teal'c, all members of our premier Stargate exploration team.' Jack, Sam and Teal'c all shook hands with the professor across the table.

Hammond gestured to the second linguist. "I am also honoured to introduce Professor Anya Ranyevskaia, on research leave from the Kiev Institute of Linguistic Theory and Research. Professor Ranyevskaia is one of the most highly regarded academics in Europe in the area of eastern European and Slavic linguistics theory.' Jack marvelled at the General's faultless pronunciation of the professor's name not once but twice. Jack supposed that was why he was a General. The said professor immediately rose from the table and walked around to shake the hands of O'Neill, Carter and Teal'c more personally rather than stretch over the table. O'Nei ll's estimation of her underwent a hasty revision, putting her in a slightly more positive light, though he still thought Daniel would not take to her. There was something challenging about her firm grasp.

"And thirdly I must introduce Dr Joss McKinley. Dr McKinley has a fine reputation in European linguistics having published three volumes on the subject. He's currently between institutions and we were very lucky that Dr McKinley agreed to take time out from researching his latest book to assist this facility.'

As Hammond finished his introduction, Dr McKinley raised his eyebrow again. "In other words, I'm unemployed with writer's block and I need the money,' he said with a grin not reaching over to shake anybody's hand.

Jack gave a small, sharp sarcastic smile at the doctor and took his seat. Teal'c merely raised an eyebrow - he did not know quite what to make of this man - and took his seat also. Sam was quite taken by the sparkle in his dark eyes.

Hammond looked over to Jack. "Colonel O'Neill, was Dr Jackson aware of the starting time of this meeting? I expected him to be here. He is obviously the one who will be working most closely with our consultants.' Hammond did not look pleased. Carter noticed that Dr McKinley looked slightly quizzical at the mention of Dr Jackson - as if he knew someone of the same name but knew it couldn't possibly be the same person.

Jack tried to cover up for Daniel's tardiness while trying to send him ESP messages to hurry the hell up and get here. "I believe sir he's on his way, just collecting a few notes from his office.'

Hammond pursed his lips in displeasure. "Well, I expect we could start without....' Hammond broke off and everyone looked towards the door as it flew open and Daniel raced in carrying a bundle of folders and loose papers.

"My apologies for my lateness,' he gasped, shuffling over to his usual seat next to Teal'c. "I do hope you proceeded without me.'

"We were about to, Dr Jackson.' Hammond cleared his throat as Daniel proceeded to shuffle through the pile of papers he dumped on the table, not looking up at the people seated around him. "I have made the introductions but to recap briefly, Dr Daniel Jackson, let me introduce Professor John Finnigan, Professor Anya Ranyevskaia and ....'

Daniel had looked up at the start of the introduction but his eyes moved along the row of linguists faster than Hammond could introduce them. He cut off General Hammond with a cry of delight.

"Joss!'

The young man with the dark hair smiled warmly. Jack thought to himself that it was the first sincere action the man had made.

"Hey Daniel. So this is where you've been hiding the past four years. It's good to see you.' Jack watched as Dr McKinley lowered his head and his thick hair fell down to his eyes, a subtle but obviously well-rehearsed movement which was clearly intended to signal much more than his words, but only Daniel knew the meaning of that action.

O'Neill looked at Daniel and almost fancied he saw the weight of the world heaving itself off Daniel's shoulders. The change in the kid was remarkable, suddenly there was light shining from Daniel's blue eyes and a twitch at the corners of his mouth which indicated that although he really wanted to break into a huge jaw-breaking grin, he would only allow himself a small smile.

"It's good to see you too,' Daniel said softly. He then shook himself slightly as if remembering where he was and hastily shook hands with Finnigan and Ranyevskaia, mumbling greetings with them, before he sat down.

Hammond looked over at the archeologist. "Am I to conclude that you and Dr McKinley know each other, Dr Jackson,' he queried.

"Oh yes General Hammond, Dr McKinley and I go back a long way.' Everyone around the table waited expectantly for more information. It wasn't that they were nosey it was just that in a situation like this people usually explain how they know each other. When it appeared Daniel was not going to say any more Carter asked the obvious question.

"How did you meet? Were you students together?'

Daniel suddenly blushed and looked strangely coy. A-ha! Thought Jack. He's hiding something. Daniel's never been a good liar.

McKinley looked up and coughed to get Sam's attention. "It's a long story.... but we met in prison actually.' Joss looked around the table of open mouths and dropped jaws, pleased at the reaction his statement had created. Only Colonel O'Neill still scrutinised him with that wary, suspicious look. Daniel chuckled softly and looked down at his papers. He didn't elaborate - this had always been Joss' party trick and he wasn't going to spoil the moment for him.

Jack narrowed his eyes at McKinley and turned to give Sam a look. Sam shrugged her shoulders - she was as shocked and baffled as the rest of them. General Hammond regained his composure first (after all he was a general).

'Dr McKinley do you care to elaborate on that - I was not aware of Dr Jackson ever having been in prison. On what charge?' Hammond was somewhere between ordering and spluttering.

Far from intimidated, Joss McKinley drew himself up in his seat and smiled at his audience around the table. 'The location was Romania, the year was 1985, the accused were Daniel Jackson and Joss McKinley and the charge. Was intention to commit international terrorism!' He finished with a dramatic flourish. He turned and made direct eye contact with General Hammond. 'Bet you're mad that your spooks missed that one on my security check, let alone on Daniel's, but the question you should be asking yourself is what else did they miss?'

Hammond looked about ready to explode. 'This is a military facility not a theatre! Dr Jackson please explain to me what Dr McKinley is referring to in the shortest possible way so that we can all get on with the very important business to hand. And god help you if you've been concealing important personal information Dr Jackson!'

Jack could tell Hammond was about ready to blow a gasket. Geez, in a room of four linguists you'd think one of them would be able to read body language. He prayed Daniel would keep it short and sweet. And that he hadn't actually had any involvement in international terrorism of course.

Daniel resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 'It's not as serious as it sounds General and we certainly didn't commit any acts of terrorism. When I was 19 I went backpacking around eastern Europe. Dr McKinley was also travelling around and our paths crossed at a train station in eastern Hungary. We both boarded a train for Bucharest travelling through the mountains, coincidentally we sat in the same carriage. At the border soldiers got on each carriage and guarded the doors with machine guns, then the border officials got on and checked our passports. Mine was fine but Dr McKinley, who was sitting further up the carriage had lost his visa documents. He tried looking through his backpack but the soldiers were shoving him aroundso he couldn't look properly. I went up to help him out and offered to help search through his stuff.' Daniel broke off and turned to look mock daggers at Joss. 'And you had all those stupid photos stuffed down the side of your backpack!'

'Photos?' Queried Jack, dying to smirk, and hoping they were the type of photos to make Sam and the General blush.

Daniel rolled his eyes. 'Yes, the Cold War was slowly imploding, eastern Europe was on the brink of catastrophe and Joss McKinley has a backpack full of photos of every train station, bus station and underground metro system east of Berlin!'

McKinley interjected here to try to explain. 'I just had a thing about transport systems back then. It was kinda symbolic of my travelling experiences' he shrugged knowing this sounded lame and just a little bit pretentious. 'I got over it real soon.'

Daniel glared at Joss. 'Yeah, kinda symbolic of maybe planning to disable the transport systems of the entire eastern bloc! The soldiers did not take kindly to the photos and Joss still hadn't found his visa papers and they were shoving his passport in my face asking me to verify that this was really his name, but I couldn't answer because I didn't actually know his name! In the end they decided we were in on it together and bundled us off to the local police station. They interrogated us separately at first then threw us in a cell in the lock up. We sat there for two weeks being alternately interrogated and left alone in the cell. I think it was pretty hard going on the police too because I could only communicate with them in German and Joss didn't let on that he spoke Romanian and they were as frustrated as we were. I think they were just waiting for some bureaucrat in Bucharest to give them the go ahead to drop the charges and kick us back over the border. After about two weeks the soldiers came in one morning, picked us up and drove us over the Hungarian border. So technically Dr McKinley and I did meet in prison and yes we were charged with intent to commit international terrorism but the charges were dropped because it was all a mistake.'

Daniel took another breath. 'So it's nothing to be concerned about and I'd really prefer to get on with the matter at hand. I think with Professor Ranyevskaia's expertise in Cyrillic, we should really be able to get a good start on these symbols this afternoon.' Daniel hoped he'd been successful in turning the attention away from his past and onto the research that had been giving him such headaches, but everyone was still staring at him. Daniel could feel another headache coming on. He started to hand out copies of his notes to the consultants. Prof. Finnigan breathed in through his nose disapprovingly and accepted the papers. Prof. Ranyevskaia merely looked amused. General Hammond however, was not amused.

Daniel avoided Jack and Sam's stares, boy was he going to cop it from them later for not telling them that story before. What he really dreaded was that they would probably now wonder what else he was hiding from them. Daniel didn't think he had more of a 'history' than any other person his age but he knew deep down that some of his past was about to catch up with him.

As soon as the meeting was over, Daniel leapt up to go over to Joss, but before he could move around the table however, Jack grabbed his sleeve. 'We have to talk,' he hissed in Daniel's ear, 'my place tonight at 8.00.'

Daniel nodded. 'Sure Jack, I thought you might want to hear more of that story.' Daniel again tried to madly signal to Joss but General Hammond then stepped up to him. 'Dr Jackson I'd like to see you in my office immediately.' Daniel cast a lingering glance at Joss and reluctantly followed the General out of the room.

Carter and Teal'c showed the consultants the way down to the laboratories. Prof Finnigan was showing great interest in Teal'c's Jaffa tattoo and Sam was deep in debate with Prof. Ranyevskaia. This left Jack to bring up the rear with Dr McKinley. Jack decided to try to get to know the man a little better. He still thought his first impression was the most accurate but from the way Daniel's face had lit up when he saw the man, Jack figured, hoped, that Joss would have some redeeming features. If only for Daniel's sake.

'So after your time in the Romanian clink, how come you and Daniel didn't just go your separate ways?' Jack feigned nonchalance and raised his eyebrows in innocence.

Dr McKinley gave a low chuckle. 'When you share a cell with someone for two weeks with only a copy of The Idiot and the occasional interrogation to break the monotony, you get to know that person pretty well pretty quick. And you better make friends with him or the time goes a lot slower.'

Jack wasn't sure but he thought he heard that innuendo again in McKinley's manner. He wondered if the man was trying to say he was something more than friends with Daniel, but immediately dismissed the thought as a by-product of his fantasising. Get over it Colonel, he told himself, not everyone finds Daniel irresistible.

'You don't need to tell me about prison life Dr McKinley. I know it's not pleasant.' Jack left it at that, not wanting to tell this man about his time in an Iraqi jail as a prisoner of war.

Joss looked like he was about to inquire further about Jack's knowledge of prison life but one look at Jack's face and he changed tack.

In a conversational tone he continued, 'coincidentally Daniel and I were both studying at Oxford and had, unbeknownst to us, actually taken some of the same lectures in linguistics. We remained friends and shared a house together with some other students the next year. Although our areas of study gradually drifted further apart, Daniel and I became closer. We lived together for eight years on and off, sometimes with others, sometimes just the two of us. Daniel was always going off to Egypt for months at a time and my research took me all over Russia and the Baltic, but when one needed support or a friend, the other was always there. Like when either of us lost our grant money or when I brought recurrent malaria back with me from Laos and lost nearly a year, or when Daniel and Misha went through the whole break up thing, now that was a drama.' McKinley looked slyly at Jack to see how he was taking this.

Outwardly Jack remained impassive thanks to his training, inwardly he was screaming. He had thought he was Daniel's closest friend, that he was the one Daniel confided in, when suddenly here was this guy whom Daniel's never even mentioned by name, casually dropping hints on how intimately he knew Daniel, and clearly he knew him a lot better than Jack did. Jack started to wonder if he even knew Daniel at all. He wondered why Daniel had kept all this a secret from him, and Sam and Teal'c. didn't Daniel trust them? Jack felt anger begin to swell in him again. So much for his sanguinity. But most of all he felt hurt. Hurt and confused. He didn't even know if he wanted to see Daniel at his house that night. They arrived at the labs and Jack was grateful that he did not have to talk to this man anymore, though at the same time he was yearning to find out more about this mysterious Daniel he'd never known existed.

Later, Daniel arrived in the lab looking suitably chastened, but before Jack had a chance to speak to him, Prof Ranyevskaia called him over to discuss the start they'd made on the tablet glyphs and Daniel was occupied all afternoon.

Feeling superfluous, Jack retired to the gym for a workout. The punching bag came in handy, although Jack wasn't sure at times whether it was Dr McKinley or Daniel whose face he was seeing on the bag.

Jack left the SGC without seeing Daniel again. He hoped he would get the answers he was looking for when the kid came around to his house in the evening. But Daniel didn't come. Jack poured himself a double scotch and sat in the slowly darkening lounge-room for four hours. But Daniel didn't come. He tried to tell himself that the Spacemonkey probably got so caught up in the translation work that he forgot the time, forgot the arrangement with Jack.

But when he closed his eyes all he could see was his Daniel, gorgeous, innocent, blue-eyed Daniel, locked in sweaty, frenzied, naked passion with one Dr Joss McKinley. Which was ridiculous because Daniel had a wife and from what McKinley insinuated had had girlfriends previously. So why was Jack preoccupied with this picture?, and why did he feel so suspicious and jealous of McKinley? The fact was McKinley was an old friend of Daniel's, even Daniel can't have been alone all his life despite his declarations that morning. Actually the thought of Daniel being friendless was ludicrous considering how well-liked and inoffensive Daniel was. Surely he would have had lots of friends in all those geek factories, sorry, universities, he went to. Some of them were bound to turn up sooner or later.

Jack suddenly noticed how quiet the house was. He'd never heard this much silence before. He gulped down the rest of his scotch and rubbed a hand over his forehead. Then he snapped on the television, even though there was nothing he wanted to watch. Anything to drown out the silence. He fell asleep in front of the television. Just before he nodded off he had a moment of clarity, he saw his father after Jack's mother died, the old man, sitting on the couch in front of the television, falling asleep by the glow of the midnight weather report, rather than face the cold empty bed. Jack tried not to draw any conclusions from this image.

~~~

The next morning Jack found himself strangely reluctant to go to the SGC. He knew that if he saw Daniel he wouldn't be able to resist asking him what had happened to him last night. And Jack was sure he didn't want to know the answer.

Which was a pity

~~~

The car ride back to Daniel's flat from the SGC had been very quiet. Daniel had a lot of questions for Joss but he didn't know where to start so he just concentrated on driving.

Joss concentrated on Daniel. On the way he still had to keep pushing his glasses back when they threatened to slip down, on the absent way he still drove his car as if his mind were still back in the lab crouched over the glyphs and muttering, on the way his graceful fingers still fluttered about constantly dancing on the steering wheel to unheard music, on the new way the muscles in his upper arms flexed and relaxed as he pulled the steering wheel and turned a corner, on the new short hairstyle and the little wisps of hair curling at the now-exposed nape of his neck.

'Worried about Father Time creeping up on you Daniel?' Joss spoke softly, and playfully rubbed his hand over Daniel's upper arm as he turned the steering wheel.

'Huh?' Daniel looked down at his arm and saw what Joss was alluding to. He laughed ruefully. 'No, just have to work out now for the missions, and I had to learn a few combat and firearm skills for the job. Jack and Teal'c have done the impossible in their self-appointed roles as my personal trainers.' Daniel smiled again. 'They've given me, Daniel Jackson, something ever so slightly resembling muscles.' He looked over at Joss and grinned. 'Now that was never supposed to happen.' Joss returned the smile.

'No, you're right, you and I were supposed to stay scrawny together. There is power in a union and all that. Oh well, occupational hazard I guess now that you're zipping all over the galaxy.' He peered at Daniel from under his dark hair again. 'But don't tell me you've actually managed to fire a gun at someone or I shall laugh heartily until I have to lie down for feelings of faintness.'

Daniel rolled his eyes. 'Never use one word when you could string it out to seventeen do you Joss?. I will confess, I have shot people. It's not something I'm proud of or that I try to do regularly. Okay?' Joss noticed the way Daniel was clenching the steering wheel and he tactfully let the subject drop. They were silent for the rest of the journey to the flat.

As he closed the door of his apartment behind them, Daniel knew that now the questions would come. He delayed it a little by making coffee but all too soon the two men were sitting on the couch and Joss was obviously bursting to ask. Daniel took a gulp of hot coffee and braced himself.

But Joss only sipped his coffee and smiled mildly. 'Ahh that's really good. No one makes it as good as you Daniel.' He toyed with his cup. Daniel wondered if Joss was waiting for him to make the first move towards explanation. Nervously he pushed at his glasses and put his cup down on the table. He plunged in the deep end. 'I suppose you're wondering why I didn't contact you for four years.' Daniel's fingers fluttered anxiously over the pattern on the coffee table.

'Not really,' said Joss, 'from the amount of forms I had to fill in and the checks I went through just because they invited me to have a look at a lump of clay with some scribbles on it, I'm not surprised you're not allowed to speak about your work to outsiders. And if you had contacted me I'm sure I would have asked at some stage where you were working these day so no, I'm not curious at all.'

Daniel struggled with the next question he knew he had to ask. On the coffee table he joined two drops of moisture with the delicate tip of his finger. He took a deep slow breath and spoke hesitantly. 'Joss, what did you think today when you saw me in that meeting room?' Daniel barely knew if he wanted to hear the answer.

The low, soft, achingly familiar tone of voice from Joss. 'I was thinking how sweet it would be if time were malleable, and we could just fall back into the old days, when you and I had that room in the hostel in Luxor. I thought of lying on the white linen bed, the dry, warm desert twilight air flowing over our bodies, my leg lying between your thighs, your arm stretched out across my chest, your damp hair cool against my neck, the ripples of the mosquito net shadow over your skin, the scent of you, and me, together.'

Daniel felt the exquisite shivers slip down his spine, straight to his groin, an effect that only Joss, of all his lovers, had ever been able to produce.

Joss sat as if mesmerised by the pattern Daniel's finger was slowly tracing out over the surface of the table. He spoke slowly, his voice hollow with lust and sorrow. 'But time is hardened like steel and we can only go forward Daniel. Four years ago we parted like adults and without waiting for the love to turn bitter. You left Cairo to give it your best shot at ruining your scholarly career, which I'm pleased to see you failed to do.... I came back from Siberia, long overdue by nearly a year, to find everyone else had moved on while the Steppes had bewitched me into thinking time had stood still. I thought for a while that I could catch up, but your trail grew cold, and all our old friends, remember Jules and Ava, Fiona and Etienne and Owen and all the others from Cairo and Oxford, they'd all moved on, got married, started families, found each other and themselves, no longer questioning this life or themselves. They found contentment, and peace.

'I returned to my research and finished the book that winter in Warsaw. One dark afternoon I found myself standing in the grey snow outside a travel agency. I went in and started to book myself a ticket for Cairo. On automatic you see, the habits of eight years die slowly. A one way ticket to Cairo in the spring please. I'm going home. It was then that I realised I was only going to Cairo in the hope of finding you there, and you wouldn't be there.'

Not wanting to interrupt the soft rise and fall of Joss's story, Daniel left his question etched on his face. Where did you go?

' I went everywhere, moved around wherever my research took me. I think I reasoned that if I was always moving then it would be impossible for you to locate me, then it was only logical to conclude that it wasn't that you weren't looking for me, but that you couldn't find me. That, I could live with. I decided that life goes in cycles and that our cycle together had come to an end. Soon there were other lovers, I let myself be drawn into other people's cycles. I bobbed about in the water for a while, as it were, instead of sprinting up and down doing laps with one person.'

Joss reached out and took firm hold of Daniel's chin. He looked deep into Daniel's eyes in a way that Daniel had always felt was a direct line to the centre of his being.

'When you walked into that room this afternoon, I asked myself, was this our cycles coming together again at last?'

Daniel knew he had all the time in the world to think about his answer. Joss would always wait for him to think things through, never demand an immediate answer, that was one of the things that endeared him to Daniel as a friend and lover. He closed his eyes and wondered.

Daniel had fallen in love four times in his life. As always scrupulously fair, there had been two women and two men who had claimed his heart in turn. His first had been Misha whom he had fallen in love with not long after the Romanian adventure. That had ended in bitter tears, recriminations and accusing fingers of blame squeezing and suffocating his heart.

When he had recovered there began his time with Joss. Slowly at first, comfortable and familiar, Daniel felt more at ease with Joss than he did with anyone. The passion was kept alive by regular absences of one or the other. In the end however, Daniel had begun to feel overwhelmed by the sense that his work as an academic was unfulfilling. He needed to at least attempt to have his theories heard out in the public arena, in order to live with himself. Joss was on one of his research forays in Russia and it had been fairly easy to agree to no more commitment, to let them both pursue their own dreams for a while. Soon after, Daniel had been spirited away to the SGC by Catherine.

Sha're had been like a blast of pure, sweet tasting oxygen shot straight down his lungs into the depths of his veins. She had reminded him that passion and work could co-exist, that simple pleasures were also satisfying and that love with a woman need not be the painful, blighted experience it had been with Misha. Daniel let himself become a beginner again.

Then Jack had stormed into his life and in a whirlwind Sha're was gone and Jack had been there. But it happened too quickly and loving Jack was not easy to adjust to. Daniel still loved Sha're, he knew that much for sure as he lay awake at night, his body aching for the gentle warm curves of her flesh. But over the past two years he had felt his yearning for Sha're merge with his desire for Jack. When he woke in the early hours of the morning, flushed from hot, passionate dreams and his body taut and attentive, his cock pointlessly nudging the folds of his blankets like a newborn lamb searching blindly for comfort. He never knew whether it was Sha're or Jack who had come to him in his dreams, maybe it was both.

But more often than not it was Jack whose image he clung to as he desperately brought himself to the edge and leapt off, leaving his cock slack and lifeless, his eyes welling with tears and his blankets damp and uninviting. For Daniel love was something into which he poured his life and soul. When he loved, he loved completely, mentally and physically. He savoured every time Jack laid a hand on his shoulder or looked into his eyes and smiled or nudged him with a casual aside.

When Daniel had told Jack that morning that he was tired of being alone, he knew he was taking a risk. He thought he'd make it ambiguous enough that Jack could interpret the plea how he wanted. Daniel had no idea how Jack felt about him and neither had Sam when Daniel had gone to her in desperation, trying to get some inkling of how Jack might react if he knew Daniel was in love with him. Sam had advised him to take it one step at a time, to tease it out and always give himself an exit, a way to backtrack should Jack not react favourably.

Then Jack had burst in to the lab, full of excitement and stupid games, and Daniel had suddenly felt a rush of resentment. He compared Jack's brashness unfavorably with his memory of Joss. Joss who always said exactly what he meant, even if he took the scenic route. Joss who never fooled around with emotions or power games but wore his heart on his sleeve and came right out and asked for what he wanted, desired.

Compared him to Jack who hid everything with a sarcastic quip or a soldier's grunt, when Daniel knew he had the capacity to be more eloquent. Jack who always kidded around when things got too intense. Jack who could never let Daniel just be, but was always pushing him, prodding him, challenging him, and suddenly Daniel had yearned for the old company of friends he'd left behind in ancient cities of sand and stone. Friends who could unravel the complicated emotions and dilemmas he was wrestling with, with understanding and complexities of their own which Daniel found reassuring. He was suddenly weary of a soldier's world.

And Jack had done his best to understand what Daniel was saying and Daniel's heart contracted again at the best efforts and the concern in Jack's eyes. So he'd taken the plunge and told Jack he was tired of being alone and characteristically Jack had avoided the rest of the sentence in Daniel's eyes and had chosen to believe Daniel was talking about Sha're. That was all the sign Daniel needed. He'd only just made it through lunch before needing to take some time out in his office to pull himself together. And then, just as he was at his lowest, he walked into a room and there was Joss, looking for all the world like he did when they'd said their farewells four years ago.

Now Joss was making him an offer. The comfort of the familiar. The security of no strings attached. The knowledge that it wouldn't be forever or even for long, because sooner or later Joss's contract would finish and he'd return to Europe.

Joss was offering him temporary refuge and Daniel was of a mind to accept asylum, but he had to be fair to Joss. 'I have to tell you, to be fair Joss, I'm in love with someone else now.' a sob threatened to escape Daniel's throat and embarrass him horribly even though he knew Joss wouldn't mind.

Joss put his hand gently over Daniel's anxious fingers which were still trailing over the tabletop. Daniel quivered. 'Does he return your love now, today?'

The question hung temporarily in the air then dive bombed Daniel's self-control. 'No,' he barely whispered.

Joss pulled Daniel's hand to his lips and as he spoke Daniel felt the caress of the warm familiar breath. 'Then I'll help you rediscover the joys of treading water, for a while, and after that, when I go, I wouldn't be surprised if he realises his mistake, maybe he'll even ask you to do laps with you.' Joss gently pressed his cool lips to the palm of Daniel's hand. Even as Daniel gave up all his senses to the touch of those lips, he suppressed the urge to giggle. It was no good, it had to be said.

Joss looked up and mock growled. 'What?'

Daniel chuckled. 'What's with the swimming metaphors Joss?'

Joss didn't answer straight away but pushed Daniel back on the couch and moved over the top of him. Daniel felt warm desire rush down to his groin and his cock begin to harden. Joss gently lowered his pelvis until it was resting against Daniel's and Daniel couldn't help but feel that Joss was similarly aroused. Then Joss lowered his head and breathed softly in his ear. 'Just wanted to see how far I could go with the romantic poetry stuff before you told me to stop being such a pretentious wanker.' Daniel threw back his head and laughed out loud, long and achingly so, for the first time in a very long while.

~~~

There were no missions for the next two weeks. SG-1 was on stand down whilst Dr Jackson worked with the consultants and Major Carter tried to get a hold on the chemical analysis of the clay in the inscription tablets.

Colonel Jack O'Neill had nothing to take his mind off a certain archeologist, and the rumors that were flying around base by the end of the first week were not helping in the slightest. Jack tried to ignore them but in the end it was Sam Carter who came to him with some information she'd heard on the grapevine and found particularly distressing.

O'Neill was in his office where he seemed to spend most of his time recently, when Sam knocked and poked her head around the door. "Got a minute for a quick chat Sir?'

Jack looked up from the paperwork that he'd been pretending to shuffle around to fool himself into thinking he was working, and felt relieved at the distraction. "Sure, why don't we head down to the mess hall, I'm feeling a bit peckish.'

Sam slipped inside the office, "Actually Colonel, this is something that would be best not discussed in the mess hall, particularly not the mess hall.'

"That sounds serious Major.' He gestured for her to sit down. Sam looked grateful and pulled up a chair. Jack remained behind his desk.

"It's about Daniel sir.'

"Oh', well there went his distraction, thought Jack miserably. "And what about our mysterious disappearing archeologist?' Carter guessed O'Neill was referring to the fact that Daniel could never be found on base anymore. During normal working hours he was shut up in the labs with the consultant team working furiously on the translations, but as soon as 5.30 ticked over Dr Jackson was out the door with a certain contract linguist tucked under his arm. Carter felt sorry for Jack as she knew he would have been missing his usual late night chats with Daniel in the cafeteria or in the labs where he would usually have to tell Daniel to quit working and eat something, or sleep. She wondered if Jack was feeling resentful that one of his kids had suddenly discovered a life outside the SGC. She certainly never would have predicted that if any one of them were to be distracted by the outside world that it would be Daniel, even if he was the civilian. It should have been her, Sam Carter, to be all wrapped up in the new boyfriend, she thought ruefully.

"I'm concerned by some of the rumors that are flying around base Colonel. You know I'm not one to listen to gossip'

O'Neill nodded at that one, he knew Sam was watertight when it came to personal information.

"But I'm worried that something... untoward... might happen to Dr Jackson.' She finished hurriedly.

"Untoward?' Jack raised an eyebrow. He didn't want to talk about the gossip he'd been hearing about Daniel and Dr McKinley so he wasn't about to make it easy for Sam to bring it up.

Sam resolved to start at the beginning and get it all out in the open. She didn't know why Jack was playing at being innocent but if he wanted it pushed in his face then that was what he would get.

"Colonel, you know what a fishbowl this facility can be, everyone knows when everyone arrives and leaves and what they do in between. It has to be that way considering the nature of the work we do here. Rumors started circulating this week that Daniel and Dr McKinley are ... together. I heard it from a number of officers and it's prime topic of conversation in the mess hall.'

"Together, Major?' again the raised eyebrow.

Oh boy, Sam thought, he was going to make her spell it out in black and white. Well, if that's what he wanted, maybe he was getting off on the detail. "Together meaning lovers Colonel O'Neill. Apparently a junior officer has walked in on them several times kissing and embracing in the labs when the other consultants are on break, but that's not what concerns me sir.' Sam hastened to add lest the colonel mistake her for being homophobic.

"Really?' You bastard.

"We both know that as a civilian, what Dr Jackson does on his own time and in his own personal life is his business and no one else's. However, not everyone on the base feels that way. On several occasions Teal'c has...'

Oh that got a reaction out of Jack.

He jumped forward in his seat. "Teal'c has a problem with men being....'

"Lovers Sir.'

"Teal'c does?'

"No of course not sir, apparently it's quite the done thing on Chulak. What I was going to say was that Teal'c has felt it necessary to surreptitiously accompany Daniel when he uses the shower and locker rooms on base, as a body guard, but one that Daniel isn't aware he needs.'

Well, this was new, Jack thought. "But you are of the opinion that Daniel, Dr Jackson does need a body guard.'

"Yes Colonel, in fact I'm really worried for Daniel's safety if he keeps flaunting it on base. I've overheard conversations between junior officers about what they would do to Daniel if given the opportunity and it isn't pleasant.' Sam was starting to feel pretty upset. It seemed like Jack had lost all feelings of friendship and concern for Daniel since the arrival of Dr McKinley, surely he should be exhibiting a bit more of a reaction than this?

Inside Jack was reeling. Just let one of those homophobic assholes try and lay a hand on Daniel and Jack would come down on them like a ton of bricks. Literally. He felt slightly sickened by the thought that Teal'c had to act as Daniel's personal bodyguard.

Dammit Daniel, always like to expand people's horizons don't you, regardless of the consequences to you personally. Idiot SpaceMonkey.

'Sir? Sir?,' Sam was trying to get his attention again. 'Sir, I think we should try to have a talk to Daniel somewhere private, not on base.'

Suddenly Jack seemed to get very annoyed. Unreasonably so, thought Sam.

'Where? Where? I've tried calling his apartment, he never answers the phone anymore. He dashes off straight after work and he doesn't come out of the damn lab all day. Whenever you do see him that Dr McKinley is hanging off his arm like a damn limpet, no I don't fancy your chances Major Carter!'

Sam was very taken aback. 'Sorry Sir, I wasn't aware you'd tried to speak to Daniel yourself. Might I suggest General Hammond tells me we're being assigned on a recon off-world next week, SG-1 including Daniel. It should be a quiet run, maybe we could try to talk to Daniel then?'

Jack sagged back in his chair, all the life drained out of him. He reverted to his earlier attitude of disinterest. 'Sure Major, whatever you think is appropriate. Was that all Major?'

'Yes sir.'

'Then please, I have some work to be getting on with.' Jack pulled a file out of the top drawer of his desk.

Sam raised her eyebrows and backed out the door. 'Certainly Colonel. Good Day.'

Jack sighed and looked down at the file he'd grabbed to look busy. Hot Babes Zip out Guide. Damn.

~~~

SG-1 were standing on the ramp in the embarkation room and ready to ship out. Well, three-quarters of them were. Guess which quarter was late?

Colonel O'Neill looked at his watch and drummed his fingers on the ramp hand rail much to the annoyance of Teal'c who knew not what attracted Tauri to the habit of fidgeting. O'Neill and Daniel Jackson were prime offenders.

'What time do you have Major?' Jack's voice was crisp and no-nonsense.

'0900 hours sir.'

'And at what time were we scheduled to be stepping through that Stargate just over my shoulder here?' continued drumming.

'0900 hours sir.'

'So if Dr Jackson is not here within the next 25 seconds, we will be late in departing, am I correct?'

'Yes Sir.'

'Thank you Major for clearing that up for me.'

Teal'c frowned at Colonel O'Neill's attitude. It was disrespectful of Daniel Jackson to be late but this was not unusual for him and O'Neill appeared to be putting more emphasis on it than necessary.

Sam silently gave thanks for Daniel's sense of timing as he ran into the Gateroom his bootlaces still untied and trying to pull on his jacket and backpack at the same time and getting seriously tangled up for his troubles. At the ramp he received an icy glare from Jack as Sam helped him with his pack. Daniel wondered what he'd done to get the silent treatment but one look at Jack's face and he decided it was better not to know.

~~~

P3X547 was uninhabited as the SG-1 team soon discovered. The vegetation was thick and there were no cleared regions to indicate that it ever had been settled or cultivated. The weather was pleasant and warm and water was in abundance. It seemed rather like an empty Eden, just going about its own business, letting the universe pass it by.

Daniel both loved and hated worlds like this. He hated them for the fact that if there were no inhabitants, or no evidence of previous ones, then he was pretty much superfluous to the mission and more than anything, Daniel hated to feel useless. But he also loved the reminder that there could be peace out there, somewhere. That in some times and on some planets, life just simply is, and the world goes on its merry way, rolling unhindered through the natural cycles of death and renewal. Places where he could breathe easy and stand and let the breeze tenderly kiss his cheek.

'Dr Jackson, stop gazing at the pretty flowers and get a move on!' Jack's orders snapped him out of his reverie and Daniel stumbled on behind the rest of the team. Daniel wondered why Jack was being so hard on him. He thought guiltily about the day two weeks ago when Joss had swept back into his life and he had forgotten he'd told Jack he'd drop by his place in the evening and fill him in on the details about Romania. When he remembered the next morning, he didn't have a chance that day at work to apologise to Jack and after that it just seemed to get harder and harder. No point he supposed, in letting him know it was Jack he was thinking of when he made love to Joss that first night, and every night after.

That's why he'd told Joss this morning that it wasn't going to work, that Daniel felt he wasn't being fair to Joss or himself and that they better end it sooner rather than later. Joss had just laughed in that very Joss kind of way and said he thought his mission had been accomplished after one night and these past two weeks had just been totally selfish pleasure for him. Then he had given Daniel his translation of the tablet complete with annotations and packed his one bag to catch a flight to Prague that afternoon. Boy was Anya going to be majorly pissed off when Daniel showed her that on Thursday. She hadn't thought much of Joss at all and had refuted his theories non-stop. Joss had a way of getting up people's noses with his habit of luckily stumbling upon shortcuts in his research. The annoying thing was they were always above board and 99% of the time correct. He was the original lateral thinker. There was going to be some major explaining to do to General Hammond as to why one of his prized consultants had left early but Daniel figured if he could deal with Jack O'Neill on this mission, well, he could just about deal with anything Hammond could dish out.

The team set up base camp in a natural clearing by a stream. The afternoon passed without incident as Daniel assisted Sam in collecting data about the natural environment and O'Neill and Teal'c explored the surrounding hills.

When she and Daniel were alone fossicking about at the edges of the stream collecting water samples and such, Sam wondered if she should try to broach the subject with Daniel herself, but he seemed so lost in his own contemplation that Sam hesitated to bring up such an ugly topic. She knew Daniel never contemplated the thought that he could be in any kind of danger or that people who didn't even know him that well could wish him any harm or malice.

Besides, she really wanted Jack to be the one to raise the issue. Maybe then Daniel would feel able to discuss with Jack the feelings that he had explained to her in his lab two weeks ago. The feelings that he had for Jack.

The perfect moment came later that evening as the team sat around the campfire, drinking coffee and chewing the fat over the day's discoveries.

Daniel and Sam were debating what was the best and most efficient method for purifying water on missions. Daniel supported the boiling method whereas Sam preferred to use water purification tablets.

'At least when you use a tablet you know you're getting purified water!'

'Yes but a boiling tin is so much easier and economical. I've travelled to a lot of dodgy countries in my time and was not always able to get the tablets but I've never had a problem with boiled water. It kills everything!'

'Oh yeah,' sneered Colonel O'Neill suddenly and everyone looked at him because he'd been quiet for quite some time, 'don't forget, Dr Jackson's been everywhere, maybe even some places he hasn't got around to telling us about yet. Come on Daniel, do tell us about the time you lunched with the Sultan of Brunei or wrestled polar bears in Alaska or sailed down the Nile in an open air canoe!' Jack took the opportunity to toss the remnants of his coffee out into the darkness surrounding them. 'Go on. We're all dying to know.'

Daniel flinched from the caustic attack but recovered in time to put his shutters up.

'Actually Colonel I have done the last one on your list but I think the time you really want to hear about is when I was arrested for intention to commit international terrorism in Romania, am I right?' He sounded glib but inside he was shaking.

'Sure Daniel, give us all the juicy details, don't leave anything to our imaginations now.' Jack was wishing he'd brought a bottle of scotch with him. He could do with a drink right about now, at least if he was drinking he wouldn't have to remember the horrible things he was saying to Daniel in front of Carter and Teal'c.

Daniel started falteringly, not sure what details Jack was insinuating. He decided on the truth. 'I know I made it sound like nothing much in front of General Hammond but it was actually a really frightening experience. I was only 19 and it was my first time travelling on my own in countries where I didn't speak the language. I felt so powerless. When they found out I spoke German they tried interrogating me in that language and it was all a bit hysterical because on the one hand it was so serious and for all I knew my life could depend on the answers I gave them, but on the other hand, the chief interrogator's German was so bad I spent half my time finishing his questions for him and correcting his grammar, which he so didn't like. They hardly spoke to Joss at all even though he'd been carrying the photos. He just pretended he didn't understand them in any language. Then when they dumped us at the train station he thanked them profusely in perfect Romanian, just to be a smart arse, and I thought they were going to shoot us on the spot, is that what you wanted to hear Jack?'

Jack didn't answer Daniel. He just shrugged and glared into the smoldering camp fire. Sam decided it was now or never and if Jack wasn't going to raise the topic then she would have to do it herself.

"You seem to be pretty good friends with Dr McKinley. He must be a good guy.'

Daniel gave a small, rueful smile at that comment. "Yeah, better than I deserve sometimes.' He said self-deprecatingly.

Jack couldn't let that one slide. "Daniel, I happen to think you were setting your sights a bit low with Dr McKinley. You can do better than him.'

Daniel raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean Jack?'

Again silence from Jack which meant Sam had to jump in and initiate damage control. Daniel was looking more and more hurt and confused by Jack's behaviour. The last thing they needed was for Daniel to retreat into his shell.

"Daniel, I know it's none of our business but there have been rumours around base that you and Dr McKinley are more than good friends.'

"Oh.' Softly.

"Please don't take this the wrong way but Teal'c and Jack and I are a bit concerned about how other personnel on base are reacting to these rumours. We're specifically concerned for your personal safety Daniel.' Sam tried not to be to explicit, she didn't want to terrify Daniel, but she wanted to make sure he understood the implications. Sometimes Daniel could be a bit naive about how far he could push the boundaries of the Airforce. It was one thing to break protocol and be rude to high-ranking officers when the fate of the world was at stake, quite another to step over the "don't ask, don't tell' unspoken policy amongst base personnel regarding personal relationships.

Daniel started to feel a little sick. He wondered why Sam was telling him this now. It was over with him and Joss, and he knew now never to let Colonel O'Neill know his true feelings. Daniel felt small and scared, he took off his glasses and rubbed at the lens, using the familiar action to try to quell the rising panic inside his chest.

"Daniel Jackson, I will try to protect you wherever possible but I cannot be with you all the time.' Teal'c was trying to soften the blow, Daniel could sense that and he was grateful. "Thanks Teal'c, but I don't expect you to put yourself out for me. They can't do anything on base- there's security cameras everywhere.' Teal'c didn't say anything but his expression showed his contempt for the protection afforded by the impartial eye of the security camera.

Jack could stand it no longer. He bounced up and sprung over to stand heavily over Daniel. He wanted to shake him by the shoulders but couldn't bring himself to touch him. "For cryin out loud Daniel! You never learn about danger do you? Listen to what we're saying! If you carry on like this you're going to end up battered and bloodied on the tiles of the shower room floor!'

Daniel suddenly looked at Jack, steely-eyed and impassive. "Are you threatening me Colonel O'Neill?' he murmured softly and looked pointedly at the weapon Jack clenched in his hands.

Jack looked down at the gun in his hands. How did that get there? Christ, he didn't mean to use it against Daniel. The weapon fell from Jack's grasp as he wordlessly sagged back to his space by the fire, all the energy drained from him.

Daniel put his glasses back on his nose and studied the backs of his hands. Sam was silent, shocked by what had just occurred. She had had no idea things were this bad between Daniel and Colonel O'Neill. Surely Daniel didn't believe it was Jack that she was trying to warn him about?, surely he didn't believe that Jack would ever want to cause him physical harm?

Teal'c was worried about his friends. He felt that if this matter was not resolved soon, SG-1 would cease to function properly as a team and he would lose his Tauri family. He was also concerned because Daniel Jackson and Colonel O'Neill needed each other very much, more so than anyone else. Teal'c had his family on Chulak and Major Carter had her father and brother, but since Daniel Jackson had lost his wife and O'Neill had lost his son, the two men had sought to fill the holes in their lives with a closeness to each other that could not be, should not be, cheaply destroyed. Now Teal'c understood O'Neill's attitude towards Daniel Jackson for his friendship with Dr McKinley. It was not anger but fear, O'Neill needed Daniel Jackson and was afraid of losing him.

After an uncomfortable silence it was Daniel who finally spoke.

"Actually, you needn't worry anymore. Joss left for Prague this afternoon. It's over, for good this time. Daniel Jackson is alone once again, the world is in order and everything is in its place.' He tried not to let the bitterness in his heart show but some feelings just can't be hidden.

He had thought that Jack would derive some comfort from this information but perversely, Jack seemed to fire up with anger again.

"How can you say that Daniel? How can you say that you are alone?' His voice was harsh and ragged with emotion, but he did not look at Daniel, instead, Jack got up and stalked off in the direction of the stream.

Daniel felt ruined. He could not win and now he had certainly lost. Life dealt him some bitter blows sometimes and Daniel was sick of trying to fend them off. It wore him out, and he was tired, so tired.

"Goodnight Sam, goodnight Teal'c. Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it, really I do. I'll keep a low profile for a few weeks when we get back to base.' and with that Daniel got up, walked to the camp and burrowed into his tent.

~~~

The nights were warm on P3X547 and Daniel was finding it difficult to sleep, particularly with all the depressing thoughts circulating in his head.

At this moment he would have welcomed even the nightmares which were the only bed partners he could always rely on to stay with him through thick and thin. Mainly thin.

Wriggling out of his sleeping bag Daniel donned his boots and decided to try to walk himself into exhaustion.

He headed down to the stream reasoning that he couldn't get lost if he stayed by the stream and returned by the stream. Daniel had only walked a short way however when he saw in the gloom up ahead the figure of Colonel Jack O'Neill perched on a rock by the bank. Daniel caught his breath and stood still in the shadows.

Jack didn't seem to be doing anything much, just sitting and contemplating the stream. Daniel wondered if he should try to approach Jack, try to clear up some of the bad blood that had been apparent earlier that evening. Yeah sure Daniel, and give him the opportunity to kick the crap out of you with no witnesses and no one to hear your screams. Yeah good idea you masochist, Daniel chided himself and turned to go.

"See anything you like, Dr Jackson?' Jack's voice rang out in the gloom.

Daniel froze and a hard knot of fear settled in the pit of his stomach.

"Show yourself.' That was an order, and Daniel felt compelled to step out of the trees and stand beside Jack. He squeezed his eyes shut and braced himself for the blows that would surely come. "Did you really think Jackson, that you, a civilian with the barest minimum of military training could creep up on me, Jack O'Neill, Air Force Colonel, undetected? You're a fool Daniel Jackson.'

Daniel felt the fear sweep out of his body and anger take its place. He could deal with Jack beating him up, but where did Jack get off insulting his intelligence? That was one aspect at least where Daniel surely had the undisputed upper hand on Jack O'Neill! He licked his lips and locked his hands together to prevent them clenching into fists which he was sure Jack would notice.

But the anger shone through in his tone. "Well you win again Jack. You're always one up on me aren't you. Is that what all this is about? You're upset because in revealing what happened 15 years ago, 15 years Jack, I happen to have pissed on your territory. Colonel Jack O'Neill is meant to be the tough guy with a hard story or two to tell. Dr Daniel Jackson spent his life in a library. He doesn't know what the real world is like. He needs Jack to protect him....' Daniel sniffed and reconsidered continuing but then decided to forge on regardless. "Do you know what happens to two naïve skinny American boys in a third world prison?'

Jack looked down at his feet trying to block out the despair in Daniel's voice.

Daniel gave a soft mirthless laugh. 'If that's what it's like being a tough guy then I'll stick to my books.'

He wasn't prepared for what was to come next.

"What happened to Daniel Jackson?' Jack murmured softly, no malice hidden in his voice, just sorrow and the barest hint of longing.

Daniel stared out into the gloom. "I'm right here Jack.'

Jack snorted derisively. "No, you're a stranger. I'm talking about the Daniel Jackson I know. The one who was my best friend. The person I knew better than anyone else in the world.'

Daniel realised then that the root of Jack's behaviour towards him lay in hurt, not anger. This realisation did not help him however, what was done was done and he didn't know how to make it up to Jack now.

"I'm the same person Jack, you just know me a little better now.'

Jack shook his head in dismay. "I don't know you at all.'

Daniel wondered, giving Jack any more information could result in one of two outcomes. Firstly, Jack could be given even more reason to hate Daniel with evidence of further things he had neglected to mention, or secondly, Jack could begin to understand how much he meant to Daniel. As he drew in a hesitant breath he hoped against hope that it would be the latter for he had only one avenue of action. Spill his guts.

"Jack, Joss and I were both essentially loners, that's why we lasted so long. Together or apart, we could take it or leave it. We both understood the other's need to be alone a lot of the time. The majority of the time. But I have changed. Sha're changed me. She made me want to be with those I love, she made me want a family again. When I lost my parents I tried to protect myself from getting hurt like that again by pretending I didn't really need anyone else and I lived by that philosophy in my relationships with my first lover and then with Joss.

"But Sha're showed me that it was so much better to need people, that life could be so much more complete. I let myself be a student again under her gentle instruction, and I learnt so much.' He paused, wondering again if it really was wise to go the whole way, but he didn't really have anything left to lose.

"When she was taken, I lost my mentor, my guide, and I thought it could never happen again. That I would never fall in love again. That was it - three strikes and I was out of the game entirely. But slowly, so slowly I didn't even notice it happening, I started to feel lonely. Take it from one who knows Jack, you don't feel lonely unless there's someone you want. Anyone you want.'

"And who do you want Daniel?' Jack ground the words out because the question had to be asked now they'd gone this far in, but Jack knew he was going to hate the answer.

Big breath. Pause. "You.'

If Teal'c had just come jetting downstream on water skis with Carter on his shoulders in a pink bikini, Jack couldn't have been more stunned.

"Me?' he said stupidly. Daniel blushed furiously and hastily looked around for something to hold onto for when Jack tried to punch him into the next quadrant.

"Me,' he said again, this time more firmly. Daniel couldn't believe how torturously Jack was going to string this out.

"Yes, you, you, you!' Bellowed Daniel loud enough to wake the dead. Well, in for a penny in for a pound.

"Me?' whispered Jack.

'Yes, you.' Daniel shook his head once despairingly, as if to say, how could I be so stupid? Then he turned and trudged off into the gloom.

Jack sat on his rock as the weight of knowledge settled on his conscience.

In the distance came a splash.

~~~

Blast From the Past (Part 2)

Sam leapt out of her sleeping bag the moment she heard the splash. She had heard Daniel get up and walk off downstream. She also knew that Colonel O'Neill hadn't returned yet to his tent. Now she knew she shouldn't have left them to talk it out alone, something had gone terribly wrong.

Sam struggled out of her tent and spotted Teal'c in the gloom.

"Major Carter, I believe O'Neill and Daniel Jackson may be in trouble by the water.'

"I agree Teal'c. Let's get down there. I just hope...'

Teal'c tilted his head on one side and waited for Sam to finish. Sam clamped her mouth shut when she realised there's just some thoughts that shouldn't be expressed aloud. "Let's just go.'

They turned on their torches and turned into walking beacons in the gloom.

A little way along the stream, they found Colonel O'Neill. Sam shut her eyes and counted to five but when she opened them the image was still the same: Colonel O'Neill lying stretched out on a rock overhanging the stream, his arms hanging down and struggling with someone in the water. The person in the water was Daniel and O'Neill had a hand on each shoulder, pushing down, or so it seemed, in the torchlight. Sam trained her beam on the side of Colonel O'Neill's face. He turned to face the light and squinted, not moving his hands or letting up the pressure, his face was expressionless. Then he spoke.

"For cryin out loud Carter, Teal'c. Don't just stand there, help me get Daniel out of the water! I can't pull him out from this angle!'

Sam wiped the thought from her mind and rushed down to the riverbank, with Teal'c overtaking her on the way. A bigger splash and Teal'c was in the water, wrapping his strong arms around Daniel's chest and heaving him up into O'Neill and Carter's waiting arms.

Daniel was like a drowned rat. The water that ran off him was icy cold, the stream coming straight down from nearby mountains. His teeth chattered as water forced its way up from his lungs and out of his mouth and his eyes were closed, his lips blue and cold to the touch.

She slapped his cheeks. "Daniel! Daniel! Can you hear me?'

One last burst of water spewed forth and Daniel opened his eyes. "Sam?' She smiled at him and indicated that Teal'c should pick him up and take him back to the camp. Teal'c slid his arms under Daniel's knees and shoulders. O'Neill frowned.

"It's alright Teal'c, I'll take him.'

"With all due respect Colonel, you'll stay the hell away from him.' Carter's voice was steely but sad, as if he had disappointed her beyond all expectation. Jack stood back slowly, feeling rebuked, and watched as Teal'c gathered Daniel up in his arms and walked off into the gloom.

Carter lingered, not knowing what to say but she couldn't leave it unsaid.

"Colonel...'

Jack slid his hands into his pockets and swung his head up to look her straight in the eye, challenging.

"You want to explain Major, why you felt you could address me like you did just now. I could reprimand you for that.'

"Sir, I don't know what I witnessed just then, why don't you tell me what happened. Then maybe I'll feel like apologising (because) at the moment I feel like punching you into next week, with all due respect Sir.' Carter looked uncomfortable with the strength of her anger, she lowered her eyes to break Jack's stare.

"Dr Jackson and I were having a discussion which became, a little, out of control. He became upset and walked off into the darkness. I heard a splash... I guess he slipped on a rock and fell. I ran after him and found him flailing around in the water. I tried to pull him out and that's when the cavalry arrived, does that satisfy you Major Carter?'

Jack's words pierced Sam's flesh like shards of ice. "Tell me again sir, that you were trying to get him out, and not trying to teach him a lesson.' Sam spoke in a low tone.

Jack looked dark. "What do you take me for? Some kind of... goa'uld? Why does everyone think I want to hurt Daniel? That's the last thing I would do? I was trying to get him out!'

"Alright sir I believe you.' Sam snapped, her tone indicating anything but.

Sam went to hurry on up to the camp but Jack grabbed her arm. "You know don't you?' He asked in a hushed whisper. "You know what he wanted to tell me.' Sam nodded. "Why didn't you let me know that was how he felt?'

Sam wrenched her arm out of Jack's grasp. "It wasn't my heart to throw away, sir.'

She marched off towards the camp, taking her beacon of light with her.

Jack stood for a moment, letting his eyes adjust again to the darkness. Then he heaved a sigh and trudged off following the weak bobbing light.

~~~

When Sam arrived at the campsite Teal'c had already stripped the shivering Daniel and cocooned him in a space blanket. The young scientist was lying down by the fire which Teal'c was working on stoking up to a blaze again.

Sam dropped down by Daniel's side and laid her hand on his cheek. He paused for a moment then turned his big eyes to look up at her.

"Daniel. I want you to tell me the truth. How did you come to be in the water?' Sam's voice was as soft for Daniel as it had been harsh for Jack. This time the answer came a lot more slowly.

"I told him Sam. I told him and he couldn't believe it. I heard the disgust in his voice, and I wasn't going to stick around for the abuse that would surely have been on the tip of his tongue... or building up in his fists...' Daniel started strongly but finished lamely. "I walked away rather than take it, call me a coward but I've given up masochism.' He gave a rueful smile. "Then I spoilt my perfect exit by slipping on that stupid rock and falling into the stream, which is deeper than it looks down there. Sam, honestly, I'm not that pathetic!' Daniel finished on a hiccup, spitting up the remnants of the water still churning around inside him.

"You're not pathetic Daniel.' Sam soothed him by rubbing his back. "And you're certainly not a coward. I don't know of another man who's as courageous with the truth as you are.'

Sam's eyes were now focussed on Jack who stepped out of the gloom and waited on the edges of the clearing, seeming to seek Sam's permission to enter the camp.

"It takes courage to make yourself vulnerable, if that makes sense.' She sighed "It's a bit late for me to be getting philosophical.' Sam tore her gaze from Jack and smiled down at Daniel.

Jack crept up to the fire and sat on the opposite side, staring through the flames.

He watched the scene being played out before him. Daniel lying shivering and weak, Sam offering support and comfort, Teal'c offering protection and assistance. Jack wondered where his place was in that tableau.

It sickened Jack to discover how quickly Carter could assume that Jack would want to cause Daniel harm, he knew that wasn't in him. It worried him to think of the way he must present himself and behave towards people for one of his closest friends to misjudge him so harshly. In the stark, revealing light of the blazing fire, Jack vowed to make it up to Daniel and prove to Sam that he wasn't some insensitive bully-boy. He just hoped Daniel was still interested.

~~~

Daniel was cleared in an inordinately short examination by Dr Fraiser who declared him shaken but not stirred. Then she apologised and explained that he would suffer no ill effects for his midnight dunking except maybe a nasty cold. From the lack of reaction her comments garnered Dr Fraiser wondered when everyone in SG-1 had lost their sense of humour and mused at the possibility of funny bone transplants. She snorted to herself deciding she'd had far too much time on her hands lately.

Daniel was alone in the showers, having eluded his bodyguard Teal'c for a few minutes peace to think about the conversation with Jack. He didn't regret his openness.

In fact, it felt pretty good to have gotten it off his chest. He wondered if his moods had been affected these past few months not by the thought that Jack might reject his love, but by the burden of keeping such strong feelings bottled up inside. Daniel had always found it helped to talk about his concerns and emotions, and now he felt an overwhelming sense of relief. Maybe he didn't even care what happened next.

Daniel let the warm water cascade over his body, bringing with it a surge of warm optimism. Daniel could now sleep easy knowing he'd at least been truthful with Jack. Daniel wondered if this was partly due to the remnants of the past two weeks resting in his soul - the little part of him that believed in Joss' blind faith that good things were coming to him. The little part of him that was remedied and healed by a couple of weeks of pure fun and indulgence. Then there was Jack again. Surely he couldn't have been wrong in reading the signs, Jack's strong arms reaching down to grasp his shoulders and pull him out of the stream, his waterlogged clothes doubling his weight, and the whispered plea escaping Jack's lip. Even with water in his ears Daniel had heard it, clear as if it had been shouted, "Not yet, not yet Daniel please, don't go yet.' Yes, that was a good sign and Daniel just had to let Jack act on it. Wait and let whatever may come to him, simply happen, and as he relaxed into the caress of the water, it occurred to him that the rest of life could be remedied in much the same way.

Suddenly his cheek was pressed up against the tiles and his hazy head didn't know how the wall got so close, then a drain came into focus in the corner of his eye, it wasn't the wall, it was the floor. He was on the floor and someone was kicking him, someone with six feet in black boots. Daniel tasted bile as a boot connected with his kidney, then he was being dragged up and held under the icy cold spray, his head ripped back by his wet hair grasped in someone's fist. He took a backhander to the face and a punch to the stomach, and he was staring at the drain again.

Daniel wondered at the pinkish water swirling down the drain, it seemed so stark against the white tile. Boy, someone must have been hurt a lot. He tried to concentrate on the vivid red streaks on the wall in front of him as the blows rained down on his prone defenseless body. It occurred to him that he must be silently hysterical, because he hadn't yet cried out for help, or even screamed in pain. All he could think of was that it was a bit inconvenient to have words as your weapon when other people have boots and fists.

He almost didn't notice when the violence abruptly stopped. He didn't register that some of the blood pooling before him was that of his attackers who were now protesting and yelping. He watched the water trickle past.

Daniel became aware of shouting, a door slamming. Footsteps, just one pair. They came back to him and stopped by him, in front of his face. Daniel wondered if he should get up. Oh yeah, that's right, he was going to let life happen to him wasn't he? Well, that meant he could lie here a bit longer then. A gentle hand on his shoulder. A whisper of concern. "Daniel, can you get up? They've gone to get Dr Fraiser. Let's get you off this wet floor.'

A welcome voice. But he just wanted to lie here a bit longer.

Strong arms gripped his shoulders for the second time in as many days and pulled him up to a sitting position. "You're a mess Daniel. But SG-2 are more of a mess, believe you me. They're going to be very, very sorry they ever touched you. Hammond is gonna be dealing with them right now, then Ferretti's gonna make them sorry they were ever assigned under his command.'

"Jack?'

"I'm here Daniel. C'mon, let's get you over on that bench. Think you can make it?'

Daniel remembered that he had legs and started to kneel up, supported by Jack's hands under his arms. Together, they staggered over to the bench.

Jack gently lowered the wet, bloodied, naked man down so he was sitting on the bench. Then he sat down next to Daniel. "Where's your towel kid?' Jack studied the blood trickling down the side of Daniel's face and looked for something to cover him and hold over his wounds. They were mainly superficial- bruises and grazes, a cut to the forehead and rapidly developing bruise over his lower back being the worst. Daniel gestured to a sodden heap on the floor of the shower room.

Jack looked around and found a hand towel by the sinks. He offered it to Daniel. Daniel took the towel and held it against his forehead, obscuring his eyes from Jack's view.

Jack drummed his fingers on the bench and wondered where the hell was Fraiser?

He wanted to say something reassuring to the silent, injured man. "Don't worry if you didn't get a good look at them, another officer, Major Kerr, saw what happened and called me in as I was passing. We were both witnesses and we pulled those animals off you.' Jack gave a feral snarl. "And we weren't gentle with it. Reckon Fraiser will need to look at them after she's finished with you. Hope she reserves the biggest, sharpest needles for them huh.' No reaction from Daniel.

"What do you want to charge them with Daniel? Assault and Battery? They'll get charged in a military court without question but it's up to you if you want to press charges and call the police in as well. What am I saying, of course you'll want to press charges, look at you....' Jack hesitated, feeling like he was babbling in the silence, and decided to shut up as Daniel leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, the towel still held to his forehead.

The two men sat in silence. Jack looked down at his uniform and noticed the wet patches on his knees and chest from hauling Daniel up from the floor. The blood spots on his sleeves and some now drying on the palm of his hand. He looked sideways at the naked man sitting next to him. The draft was cool through the washroom now that the steam from the hot showers had cleared. The air was clammy and Daniel had not an ounce of spare fat on his body - yet he wasn't shivering, if it weren't for the bloodied towel clasped to his forehead, he'd look almost comfortable, sitting there, eyes unfocussed, thoughts elsewhere, as always.

Jack wondered if he'd thought too soon. Daniel's head started shaking into the towel. Jack hesitated, then laid a hand on his friend's shoulder to offer support, even though he was still a bit embarrassed at Daniel crying in front of him, yet again.

He jerked back as if he had been stung when Daniel made the movement he least expected. The younger man pulled the towel away from his face and threw it across the room. Then he swung his head back and started laughing. The kind of laugh that starts with a chuckle, then progresses into silent shaking as you gasp for air, and ends in heaving gasps and wiping the corners of your eyes. Jack failed to see what was so funny and wondered if Daniel had sustained an injury to the head which couldn't be seen.

"What's the matter Daniel?' Jack was uncertain how to react.

When Daniel had calmed down and got enough good breaths in to find his voice again he spoke a full sentence for the first time since the attack. But he spoke it to the washroom, not looking at Jack.

"This is great Jack. This is the best thing that could happen!'

"Uh, Daniel Dr Fraiser is on her way you should probably not try to talk, there might be other injuries...' Jack thought the man really had taken leave of his senses.

"No, that's it Jack. I've reached the nadir of my existence and I'm still here. I've survived and I feel fine, in fact I feel on top of the world. Things can only get better from here Jack, I can feel it. My resolve has been proven correct.'

Okay, Jack thought, this was where he started calling for the men in white coats. Daniel was obviously having some sort of breakdown.

"Daniel, you've just been beaten up by three well-trained officially sanctioned thugs. The last thing you should feel is fine!' Jack hoped that the kid would refrain from spouting this stuff in front of Janet, if she ever got here. Her response time averages had just been shot to pieces.

Daniel turned his head to face Jack, his wet hair sticking to the blood on his forehead, his eyes strangely bright and alert.

"Don't spoil this Jack, just be grateful.' Daniel leaned back against the backs of the lockers behind the bench. He gazed at Jack through half-closed eyes and a smile played around his lips.

Jack licked his lips as his mouth dried up completely. "Grateful for what Daniel?

Daniel heaved a satisfied sigh. "The ball's in your court now Jack, it's up to you what you do with it.'

Jack narrowed his eyes. The subject of the exchange seemed to have changed without his consent. He guessed he knew what Daniel was getting at. Last night's revelations. No way in hell was Jack going to discuss that in the SGC washroom, but he didn't want to give Daniel the wrong impression.

"Daniel?'

"Hmmm?'

"Wanna come hiking with me this weekend?'

A pause.

"Sure.' A shrug.

When Dr Fraiser arrived with a medic crew and stretcher, she found the two men sitting on the bench, one naked, bruised and bleeding but with a quiet smile on his lips, the other hunched over in wet, blood-spattered clothes, nervously nibbling at his fingernails.

~~~

A spring shower had fallen that morning and the forest was damp with the scent of pine heavy in the air. The clouds were discreetly slipping away and it was perfect day for walking.

The two men with backpacks strode through the forest at their own individual paces. The older man walked ahead along the beaten path, not pausing but looking forward to his destination. The younger man dawdled, stopping to take a closer look at whatever occasionally caught his eye. Although the older man was frustrated he resisted the urge to verbally prod the other man onward, instead, when he got too far ahead, he waited patiently on a rock or leaning against a tree until the younger man caught up, and for his part, when the younger man realised he'd lagged too far behind, he'd break into a jog and make up the distance between him and his companion. Daniel rewarded Jack with a soft smile for his patience.

Smuggling Daniel out of the SGC for the weekend had been no mean feat. Dr Fraiser had wanted to keep him in for observation as she'd had to put a few stitches in his forehead and the bruises on his back were quite severe. General Hammond wanted him on base with a 24 hr guard so that no one in connection with SG-2 could threaten him again and try to dissuade him from pressing charges. Ferretti wanted Daniel to stay on base so that he could witness first hand the street justice he was going to mete out to his junior officers. Finally, the military lawyers had wanted him on base to make statement after statement for the records.

Daniel hadn't cared to stay on base because he wasn't going to press charges and he wasn't going to make any statements. Jack was sure those blows to the head had knocked a screw loose or something, but Daniel had been adamant. It was, ultimately, his decision regarding the civil charges, but in the military court he would probably be done for contempt of court if he refused to testify. There had been too many witnesses.

Colonel O'Neill hadn't been present at the confidential meeting of General Hammond and several senior airforce lawyers at Daniel's bedside in the infirmary but the rumours regarding the outcomes of the meeting were flying around base by dinnertime. They reached Jack in his office at 6.15pm courtesy of a passing senior officer. Jack was hugely concerned by the news that Daniel was refusing to make a statement. His immediate problem was that this made it difficult to get Daniel off base for the weekend, but the more troubling thought was what it said for the state of Daniel's mind.

He had decided to address the immediate problem first and had enlisted the help of Teal'c, since Carter still wasn't talking to him. Now there was another situation Jack would have to do some deep groveling to remedy, even if he still didn't understand how she could think so little of him.

The plan had been enacted that morning. They had waited until Dr Fraiser went on her break and then Teal'c had created a diversion out at the nurses station, with O'Neill slipping into the infirmary and approaching Daniel's bed.

Daniel had looked very pale and small lying asleep in the white bed with the sheet tucked up around his chin, and Jack had had second thoughts about taking him out into the wilderness away from immediate medical help, then reminding himself that the kid had more resilience than month-old bacon, had looked around for Daniel's clothes.

A hand had shot out and grabbed Jack's, Daniel's eyes flying open. "Don't bother, I'm ready,' he had breathed and slipped out of the bed fully dressed.

As they had tiptoed out past the glass partition of the nurses' station Jack noticed Teal'c sitting very patiently listening to an explanation of Nurse Weston's history of minor back ailments. Jack had forgotten that he'd once told Teal'c that the easiest way to distract Nurse Weston was to ask about her illnesses for once. Jack had grinned to himself, figuring Teal'c would be in need of a bit of tea and sympathy himself after this escapade.

It had taken them half an hour of ducking into doorways and hiding in alcoves from passing senior personnel, medical staff and once even Carter and Hammond themselves, before Jack and Daniel had made it to the surface exit. There Jack had betted on feigned nonchalance to get them and their backpacks through the checkpoint without question. For once it had worked. One quick stop off at Daniel's place to pick up his walking boots and they were free for a total of two days. Together.

For the times when they were walking side by side, which wasn't long but Jack tried his best to make each consecutive period longer than the last, Jack would try to sneak sidelong peeps at Daniel, just to check he was okay. He didn't want Daniel to think he was being over-protective. But he needed to know if he was pushing the guy too hard physically considering what he'd been through the past few days. It was expecting too much of course, for Jack to verbally express his concern. The men walked mainly in silence.

~~~

By late afternoon, they came to an elevated clearing which Jack decided was a good place for them to set up camp. Whilst he set up the tent, Daniel wandered off collecting firewood. Jack mused on how easy it had been compared to Thursday on P3X 547. Then, he had done his best to avoid Daniel all day, letting Carter keep him occupied gathering water samples. He hadn't trusted himself to be civil to his friend and then in the evening he'd gone completely over the top. Lost his rag. Lost Carter's respect and almost lost his chance with Daniel. Almost.

Then Daniel had come after him and given him yet another chance, only to snatch it away before Jack had a moment to let the revelation sink in.

Somehow, they'd gone from animosity and grief to easy companionship and Jack sure as hell knew he had no part in that seismic shift. Something had changed within Daniel's mind and Jack wanted, needed to know what was going on inside his friend, whether he still felt the way he had spoken of on that gloomy riverbank. How could he be so at ease after laying himself so open? After Jack's harsh prediction had become so horribly, brutally realised on a cold washroom floor?

Did Daniel simply not care anymore? Jack felt this was the only logical explanation, yet the easy movements, slight smiles and quiet peace emanating from Daniel were not the vibes of a man who did not care. They had to talk soon, but Jack dared not disturb the peace.

So they cooked their dinner over the campfire, chatting about nothing of any consequence but just content in the small talk, each savouring the familiarity of the other, like an old couple married for so long they produce a life together, something sustained and solid, in addition to their individual beings.

Jack started to feel more comfortable in observing Daniel and watched the younger man openly, admiringly.

The day slipped into evening without notice. Daniel stood up from where he had been seated by the fire and filled his now empty bowl with water from the flask to soak. He stretched and announced he was going for a walk before going to bed. Jack felt the first inklings of foreboding. Things had been so peaceful and now Daniel was forcing him to break the peace by suggesting something as stupid as a walk through a pitch black forest. It was no use though, Jack was going to have to say something.

"Daniel, you can't go off like that, anything might happen to you. Can't you just stay sitting in one place for an evening?'

In one swift flush Daniel's face closed off and that was the end of it. "Sure Jack you're right, what was I thinking?' He spoke the words at Jack with all the sincerity of an election promise and set about robotically cleaning the cooking utensils. Jack could've cried, but he didn't do things like that.

Instead, he prepared coffee for them and when Daniel finished tidying, Jack handed him a cup of the bitter hot liquid and they sat in silence again by the fire. As he drank his coffee, Daniel seemed to unwind again, he chuckled at Jack's attempts at humour and really seemed to listen attentively to Jack's horror stories about his life as a raw recruit back in the seventies. Jack wondered if they were making progress again. Then he made his second mistake of the evening, he asked Daniel to tell him a story.

"So tell me about sailing down the Nile in an open air canoe?' Jack tried keeping his voice light, referring jokingly to the sarcasm he'd employed so brutally barely three nights before.

Daniel shook his head briefly and stared down at his coffee. "That's your territory Jack. I'm not going there again. Fare's too high.'

Jack tried to show that he was trying to make up for his jealousy. "I reckon after what you've been through and how I've treated you, you've earned yourself a season ticket. I want to know about you Daniel.' The sincerity in his tone was so convincing it cracked but Daniel did not give in.

"Gotta leave a little mystery, Jack.' He tried to make a joke of it but Jack caught the undercurrent of warning and didn't push it further.

The two men finished their coffee and retired to their tent. Daniel crawled inside his sleeping bag fully dressed bar his boots. Jack frowned, the night was crisp but more fresh than cold. He resolved to really try to talk to Daniel tomorrow about the scene by a gloomy alien stream which hung between them. He stripped off his trousers and jumper and crawled into his own sleeping bag. Jack lay with his back to the younger man, but the two man tent was so small he could feel Daniel's steady sleeping breath on the back of his neck.

After an hour or so during which Jack slept not one wink, he heard the crunch of a sleeping bag zipper and felt his friend scrabbling over his legs and their packs at the bottom of the tent, the whoosh of the tent door unzipping and Daniel had escaped into the night air.

Jack hoped Daniel shook his boots before putting them on, where-ever he was going. It would just be Daniel's luck to discover where a spider had made its home immediately after he wedged an unsuspecting toe into the boot. He wondered if he should follow Daniel. He wanted to follow Daniel. After five minutes of debating with himself, the real Jack O'Neill won and Jack crawled out of his bag and dressed.

~~~

Daniel wasn't hard to find, he was only a little way from the clearing, stretched out on his back on a smooth flat rock staring up at the stars. Anyone would've thought he wanted Jack to find him. Still, Jack approached cautiously, using his special ops training to move through the forest undetected. He got to within two metres of the prone man.

"Thought you could sneak up on Dr Daniel Jackson huh Jack? Did I ever tell you about the time I learnt spear fishing in Venezuela? You stand knee deep in water, so still you daren't breathe as the fish swim between your legs and across the tops of your feet. They treat you like just another plant. You follow them, learn their patterns and after a while you can anticipate where they are going to head next and when they get there so does your spear. You've caught breakfast.'

Jack stood still, caught in the headlights so to speak. Then he thought about what Daniel had just said. "What the hell does that have to do with being able to hear me sneak up on you?'

Daniel laughed and rolled over on his stomach to look in Jack's direction. "Absolutely nothing. That's the third time I've given that speech in the last five minutes on the off chance you might be out there. Can't let you think you have the jump on me all the time. Come closer so I can actually see you. I don't have inbred night vision like you soldier boys.'

"You mean inbuilt.'

"No I don't. Don't argue with a linguist Colonel. You'll just shoot yourself in the foot.'

Jack grunted and stepped up out of the forest and stood by Daniel's rock.

Daniel rubbed the debris off the surface next to him and gestured for Jack to sit down. Jack was encouraged by Daniel's apparent improved humour.

He sat down and Daniel rolled back over onto his back, his head cradled in his arms. Jack tipped his head back to admire the stars Daniel found so interesting, but he was distracted by the pressing need to get things sorted between them. "Daniel, I'm worried about you. You've been behaving pretty erratically since Thursday night...'

Daniel scrunched up his face as if he was really stumped. "You mean you don't like me following your orders? I rather liked the new acquiescent Daniel Jackson. No backbone but easier to keep an eye on.'

Jack felt like thumping Daniel himself until he looked down and saw the sparkle in his friend's eyes.

"Daniel, I'm trying to be deep and meaningful here, enjoy it while it lasts, doesn't happen too often. I'm really trying to work through what you told me the other night, about being lonely for... me.' Jack rubbed his sweaty hands over his knees. He'd known this was going to be hard, but this was torture. How could Daniel live like this? All this emotion and truth?

Daniel sobered up pretty quickly. His nose was cold in the chilly mountain air and he sniffed. "You know, Sam advised me to do it subtly. To give you the opportunity to let me down gently without having to actually bring any difficult emotions out in the open. I don't think she had spilling my guts at the top of my voice in mind.'

"Ya think? It was pretty confronting Danny, and you didn't give me time to reply. You just stormed off.' Jack didn't want to seem like he thought he was the injured party here, but that was how it had been.

"I thought you were about to hit me.' Daniel answered softly. "You'd already threatened me once that night.'

"God Daniel you know that's not true. I was warning you for cryin' out loud, and it turns out I was right wasn't I?'

Daniel sighed. "You can't goad me any more Jack, this is the new Daniel. In the showers, before I was attacked, I had an epiphany.'

"A what?' Oh the joys of deep and meaningfuls with a linguist.

"A moment of clarity. I realised where I was going wrong in my life. How I was the cause of my own grief.'

Jack paused to marvel at how Daniel always managed to shoulder the blame for every shit thing that happened to him, he'd made it into an artform. "So how did you figure that one out Danny boy?'

"The vast majority of my problems arise when I try to change people's minds. I try to educate them, try to communicate with them, to establish rapports between our world and others. I challenge people's comfort zones, I can't leave well enough alone can I? If I could, I'd still be on Abydos with Sha're sitting in the sun and raising happy, carefree babies.'

Jack resisted the urge to snicker at the image of Daniel being relaxed with half a dozen grubby toddlers hanging around his knees. "Daniel, you wouldn't have even got to Abydos if you didn't push the boundaries. You wouldn't be you!'

Daniel started waving his fingers around in the air as he tended to do when excited. "Ahh... but that was the old Daniel. The new and improved Daniel has decided to keep his opinions to himself.'

Jack grunted. "Well, I have to say I prefer the old Daniel. He gave much better conversation. The new Daniel's amiable enough I suppose but I'm not ready for a wicker chair on the verandah just yet and I don't think you are either.' He paused to try to work out how to phrase the stronger emotions he was feeling.

"I know I argue with you, I know I make jokes at your expense. but that's what I do to everyone. You know, Carter's answer to that is to give as good as she gets, Teal'c's is to give me the evil eye. You're the only one who takes me to heart. I actually appreciate that, believe it or not. It keeps me in check, reminds me that some of what I say can actually hurt. I love the fact that I learn something every time I talk to you. I'm never gonna have to take evening classes to make life interesting. I'll miss that if you start agreeing with me.'

"Jack, do you know how tiring and lonely it is spending my life opening everyone else's eyes? It's awful. I'm treated like some portable conscience come library and bleeding heart all in one. No one else has to be compassionate or a communicator or think laterally, or think at all cos good old Daniel's around to do it for them!'

"Okay, hold on, I think you're getting a little bit self indulgent now.'

Daniel reddened. "Well, okay, but you get my drift? I'm not allowed to just be me. You all put me up on a pedestal when I'm just a man, just a man Jack, with the human needs of a man.'

Now it was Jack's turn to blush.

Daniel turned to face him earnestly and continued. He had a lot to get off his chest. "Everyone's so shocked because I happen to have things in my past I'm not proud of, like every other fallible man my age. You refuse to talk to me because I let go for a couple of weeks and enjoy myself with an old friend, as if you never slept with Sara again after you moved out. Turns out grown men who are supposedly the elite of their profession can't cope with evidence of lifestyles outside their comfort zone and for that I get beaten up. I'm over it Jack. Well and truly. I've told you how I feel about you. It's up to you what you do with that information. I'm not going to make you do anything you're not comfortable with Jack. In fact, just forget I said anything at all.'

Jack remained silent, digesting everything he had heard.

Daniel rolled back to look at the stars. "But I haven't told you the best bit Jack. The best bit is that I feel kinda free now. No more worrying about what I can't change. No more mourning for that which is gone. That pressure on my chest, squeezing so hard for so long, is gone. I'm going to become a spectator Jack, if the ball comes my way there's no obligation to catch it, and it's not my fault when it gets dropped.'

Jack had had enough. "Okay, don't come the sports metaphors with me Daniel, or you'll be the one shooting yourself in the foot. You've forgotten that most spectators dream of catching the ball just once.' Jack paused to make sure he had the other man's attention. So, Daniel, let me see if I've got this straight. You're saying you've had enough of trying to change people. You're saying if the next world we gate to intends to launch an attack against earth you wouldn't try to talk them out of it. You're saying that if we ran into Hathor again you wouldn't resist, you'd just let her fuck you and to hell with the consequences. You're saying if we finally captured Apophis and Amonnet, you wouldn't try to free Sha're. Yeah, I can see how the new, carefree Daniel is the kinda guy I really want to be best buddies with.'

By the time Jack had finished delivering his tirade, Daniel's cheeks were glistening with tears. "Shut up Jack,' he whispered. "Shuttup, shuttup, shuttup.'

"No!' whispered Jack just as harshly. "I happen to like having my comfort zone challenged Dr Jackson. I will not forget what you told me, because I love you too and I hate to think of the years I would have wasted on my own if you didn't make a habit of spilling your emotions out all over the place and shoving the truth under our noses. Carter, Teal'c, Hammond, Ferretti, me... it's not our brief to understand why or how, we just do what we're told. We wait for the sign. Not everyone can be entrusted with the responsibility of interpreting the signs and giving voice to the truth, to giving the green light. That's a huge responsibility Daniel, which you can't just throw away because it's too hard. That's not who you are Daniel.'

Daniel sniffed back more tears and seemed to consider this.

Jack held his breath, hoping he'd said the right things.

"So, let's backtrack a moment, are you saying you love me because I said it first?'

Jack laughed out loud. "I'm saying it would've taken me years to admit to myself how I feel about you and never in a million years would I have had the guts to act on it. Yesterday you said I should be grateful and I didn't know what you meant, now I understand and yes, I am grateful. I'm grateful that you have the courage to be open and act on your feelings, because if I didn't have your lead to follow my life would be all the more empty.'

Jack could almost see the machinations of Daniel's brain working through that revelation.

"Jack?' A querulous voice in the darkness.

"Hmm?'

"When you say love, what exactly springs to mind?'

Jack pretended to seriously consider that question for a moment. Then he leaned over and ran his fingertips gently over Daniel's face, trying to find his mouth. His searching fingers found their target and Jack lowered his face down to Daniel's. He rested his dry lips against Daniel's moist ones for a few moments, marvelling in the featherlight sensation. Then he parted his lips and nudged Daniel's mouth with the tip of his tongue. He felt the younger man shaking under his touch. Jack ran his tongue over the quivering lips, not expecting any more the first time. He almost fell backwards when a hot agile tongue darted out to meet his own and suddenly Daniel was hungrily pushing his own mouth against Jack's, exploring feverishly and searching out Jack's taste.

The elbow Jack was leaning on reminded him of the hardness of the stone on which they were lying and he cupped his hand around the back of Daniel's head, a makeshift pillow between skin and stone. As he did so, Daniel leaned up towards him to deepen the kiss. At first Daniel had been pushing the action into Jack's mouth, familiarising himself with the shape and texture, taste and temperature, now Jack took the lead and licked his way into the depths of Daniel's mouth, learning Daniel's flesh, his taste. After a while both broke away for breath but maintained the intimacy, face to face, but it was so dark in the forest they could only make out the outline of each other's features. They were so close that when Daniel started murmuring Jack could feel the movement of his lips brushing with certain letters against his own swollen lips, never before had Jack been so appreciative of Daniel's careful pronunciation.

"Jack, this would probably be a good time for me to ask, do you need to have the why and how explained in detail or will you just do as I tell you and go blindly wherever I say?'

Jack had to gather his senses for long enough to formulate a coherent answer. "No need for the whys and hows, believe me, I know how. But I will do as you tell me, that's a soldier's way.'

Daniel chuckled and his hot lively breath warmed Jack's soul. Daniel waved his hands in front of them indicating the darkness surrounding them. "I love it, the blind leading the blind. This should be good.'

Jack pulled him in close and clamped his wandering hands in between their bodies. "Good? Good?' he feigned offense but betrayed his bravado with another earth-shattering kiss.

Jack's third mistake of the evening was to trap Daniel's hands in between their bodies. While his tongue and lips were kept busy containing and entertaining Daniel's lively exploration of the oral variety, Jack was hazily aware of some fiddling going on further down his torso. He stifled a gasp as the fabric of his shirt and t-shirt was forced up and newly freed hands began running all over his back and chest.

Slowly he became aware of a persistent pressure on his chest, warm hands pushing him over and onto his back. One of those same hands darted up to cup his head before it fell against the hard stone. The other went to work on his nipple, fingers fluttering against it at first, then the palm gently swooping over the slowly hardening nub, and finally the thumb taking its turn rubbing and massaging Jack's nipple into a centre of tingling desire.

Daniel broke away from the kiss and sat up. Suddenly deprived of that hot, adventurous mouth Jack felt bereft and brought his hands up to reach out and bring Daniel back down to him. Daniel's voice penetrated the night more sharply than the heaving of Jack's desire.

"How far would you be willing to extend the boundaries of your comfort zone Jack? Right here, tonight.' He slapped the stone they were sitting on for emphasis.

Jack was confused. Hadn't he made that perfectly clear? What was it with linguists and body language? Was there a class they took as a requirement of their degree, "Ignoring what is bloody obvious 1-0-1'? Why did they have to have everything spelt out?

"Daniel, right now I'm willing to drive a tank over my boundaries, could it be any plainer?' Jack finally found what he was groping in the darkness for, clamped his arms around his blind archeologist-slash-linguist-come-anthro-whatever and pulled him down into an embrace. Daniel sighed and happily sank into the offered kiss.

But as Jack's hands settled for sliding up under the younger man's jumper and enjoying the silky sensation of warm smooth skin, Daniel's roving hands were embarking on a more adventurous occupation. They searched out the waistband of Jack's pants and slipped innocuously between the thick material and tense, flat stomach. With each heave of Jack's panting, his stomach sucked in and Daniel's clever fingers took the opportunity to slide lower until, finally, they found their target and grasped onto Jack's firm, tender erection.

Jack had barely registered what was happening but with that strong grip on the epicentre of his feelings of lust and desire, he jerked away from the kiss and sank his face heavily into Daniel's soft shoulder.

For his part, Daniel could've cried. Or come then and there, he didn't know which would happen first if he loosened his tenuous grip on self-control. The events of the past few days, then the immense shock of actually for once getting what he desired was almost too much for him. He never thought he'd be glad of a few bruises but the sweet pain every time Jack's hand brushed lovingly over one of the violet markings on his back, was all that was keeping him on the ground. Otherwise, he was sure he would've been spent already. It occurred to Daniel that this was what he would've missed out on had Jack done as he asked and forgotten their exchange by the stream on P3X547, but that thought was too hideous and Daniel pushed it from his mind.

There were still things he was going to have to deal with in the harsh light of day. For example, the fear he'd felt as he and Jack made their covert escape from the SGC. Every time he'd heard the thud of boots down the corridor, Daniel's chest had constricted and he had had to concentrate fully on controlling his breath so that it did not come out in gasps. He supposed that must be delayed trauma or something.Then there was the thought of testifying in a military court. Daniel didn't want his life on display, particularly not now. Oh and Sam.... Sam. He knew she had thought the worst of Jack that night though he had no idea why. He was going to have to try to mend that bridge too. It would have been too much, too much, if right now he hadn't been encircled in Jack's tender arms with his hands clutching the most vulnerable part of Jack and with the gorgeous man urging him on with sweet murmurings in his ear.

Daniel resolved to leave tomorrow till tomorrow, he had his hands full right now. He gently slid his hands down the length Jack's erection and pulled back up a little, then he trailed his fingertips over the sensitive head and dabbled in the moisture collecting there. Jack arched his back and thrust towards Daniel in encouragement, his hands tugging at Daniel's jumper and t-shirt. Daniel breathed in sharply as the crisp mountain air swept over his back.

"Jack...' Daniel whispered seductively into Jack's ear. "Since it's dark, and we're going on touch and smell alone, there's no need to lose all this clothing. I think so long as the important bits are accessible then.... it might be more comfortable, don't you think? This stone is pretty hard.' He gave up the pretense and went with frankness.

Jack ran his fingers over Daniel's face and down his neck. "Depends, which bits do you class as important?' He planted a strong, lusty kiss on Daniel's collarbone.

"Umm...' Daniel was a little bit distracted, "face, lips...' Jack started to trace his finger over the parts of Daniel's body as they were listed. "Neck, definitely neck... um... hands, and um...' he tugged at the erection in his grasp, "this of course.' Jack slid his own hands down the waistband of Daniel's trousers to seek out his hot, moist groin.

"Is that it?' growled Jack, toying with the tip of Daniel's straining erection. Daniel was even more distracted. "Umm... yeah, that's about it. Yep, can't think of anything else. Can't think full stop actually, when you're doing that.'

"I can think of something else,' Jack moaned in Daniel's ear as he slid his hands around either side of Daniel's hips to cup his ass in his palms.

"Well, yes, there is that of course,' breathed Daniel hoarsely, sternly telling his body not to embarrass him. Jack's finger dipped in between his cheeks and gently rubbed across his opening. Daniel felt his erection straining against the fabric of his trousers. "Okay, so we need to make this a little more accessible.' And damn the cold, thought Daniel as he slipped his hands out of Jack's pants and undid his own belt and fly, it might actually help him last the distance.

Jack pressed his own groin deeply against Daniel's, signaling to Daniel that he was also capable of giving greater access. Daniel was grateful for the darkness giving an excuse for his fumbling with Jack's fly, he'd rather the other man didn't know it was because he was shaking with desire.

It seemed as if the freeing of his throbbing erection from the constricting material was the signal Jack needed to move up a gear. As he found Daniel's mouth again with one hand and pushed his fingers fervently into that moist, tender cavern, his other hand roved over the younger man's ass, dipping between his cheeks and pushing Daniel's hips forward to meet Jack's bucking groin.

For his part, Daniel sucked hungrily at Jack's probing fingers, eyes tightly closed to the darkness, surrendering himself to experiencing his sense of touch and the clever, sensuous hands of Jack O'Neill.

Then Daniel gasped and narrowly avoided biting down on the hand as Jack slipped one finger firmly inside his ass. Jack's other fingers slipped out of Daniel's mouth and cupped the side of his cheek, directing his face towards Jack's hungry mouth. As their lips found each other Daniel opened his eyes a crack to peep at Jack close up. He saw that Jack had his eyes closed too and they really were relying solely on touch to pleasure each other in the crisp mountain darkness. Daniel broke away from the kiss but kept his face close to Jack's, face to face their breath warm and moist on the other's. Daniel let go of Jack's cock with one hand and slid the hand up his body, over where his shirt was caught up around his chest and up to Jack's jaw. Jack moaned at the loss of one of the hands on his erection but Daniel gripped tighter with the remaining fingers and lovingly pulled to remind him one could do just as good a job as two. His other hand slipped trembling over Jack's jaw and up along his cheekbone, searching out the delicate skin of the man's closed eyes. When he found them Jack's eyelids were clenched shut tight. Daniel smoothed at one and then the other to relax the muscles then gently laid his palm over the fluttering lids.

Jack butted his face against Daniel's hand then gave a sly, teasing smile as if he had realised what Daniel was steering him towards. Jack moved his hand back down Daniel's body to join its partner on and in Daniel's ass and together he moved his hands up and down, pushing firmly on the tight muscles, and crushing his groin against Daniel's. Slowly but surely he worked Daniel over so that he was lying on his stomach, his hipbone now parallel with Jack's erection. At this point Daniel was forced to remove his hand from Jack's eyes and the other from his weeping cock and move them up to rest under his forehead, protecting his face from the hardness of the stone they were lying on. Jack slipped his leg over the top of the other man's body and shifted so that he was lying on top of Daniel, supported on his elbows on either side of Daniel's back, trapping the man between them, his erection nudging at the dip in Daniel's cheeks.

Daniel moaned and arched his neck back, exposing the sweet skin to Jack's warm kisses. His own erection pressed painfully against the rock but Daniel was grateful for the lack of attention for a while. He'd been getting too close to going over the edge.

Jack's quivering cock brushed by Daniel's opening once again, coating it in slick pre-cum. Jack thought about pushing through then and there and getting on with the main event, he wasn't sure how long he was going to be able to keep going, but came to his senses and leaned his weight onto one elbow, raising the other hand to search around in his pockets.

Daniel craned his head around to see what was distracting Jack and stifled a chuckle when the other man produced a small tube from his shirt pocket with a flourish.

"Bit of a boy scout then Jack?' Jack had the good grace to look slightly embarrassed. "Well you know, I meant to have it out with you one way or the other this weekend.'

Daniel sighed and laid his head back down on his hands. "Thanks,' he murmured.

Jack frowned at Daniel's suddenly melancholy tone. "D'you want to go through with this? Because we don't have to you know?'

Daniel turned his head to the side and rubbed his cheek against his folded arms as he considered this. "Jack, I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression but...'

Jack felt a nauseous sensation start to build in his stomach. He wondered if he should roll off Daniel. His mouth was dry and he was thankful for the cover of darkness so Daniel could not see his face. "But what Daniel?' trying to stop his voice from cracking and failing miserably.

"But I'm not quite sure how to behave when for once I actually get what I want. I kinda feel happy and calm and contented and longing and wanting all at once and I'm not sure which one to show first, or most. It's kinda weird.'

Jack resisted the urge to thump Daniel then and there, instead he growled in a low tone, "May I suggest longing and wanting?' and unscrewed the cap of the tube.

Daniel shivered with desire as the cool gel slipped down between his cheeks and Jack's fingers recommenced their gentle massage. He raised his hips to make it easier and Jack slipped his other arm under Daniel's waist, supporting him. Daniel stretched his arms out before him, bracing himself on the rock beneath them as Jack slowly pushed into him. The sensation was sharp but sweet as Jack filled his need. Daniel decided that this was a good time to let contentment rise to the fore. He arched back into Jack's thrusting groin. He moaned with pleasure as the hand that Jack wasn't using to support his waist, snaked its way under Daniel's jumper and latched onto his nipple.

Jack was experiencing a strange feeling of deja vu. His mind flitted through all the times he had imagined Daniel in the throes of passion with someone else, someone else without a name or face, his fantasies focussing solely on Daniel. Now here he was, in the dark forest. He was the faceless person, locked in ecstasy with Daniel, doing everything he'd ever imagined. It occurred to him that it may have been him all along in his dreams and fantasies - he'd just never been able to really admit to himself that that was what he wanted. It had taken their friendship to the brink of destruction for Jack to come to his senses. He resolved then and there that once they got home tomorrow they would do this again, in the light, so Jack could see himself in the scene and know that that was how he was going to think of the two of them for the rest of his life.

That thought was enough to bring him to his peak. He bought his hand down to grip firmly onto Daniel's hard erection and pull strongly in a matching rhythm with their hips. The two men reached climax in unison and such was the harmony that Daniel fancied the pulsing of Jack's orgasm in his ass travelled right through his body and exited through his own shuddering climax.

Jack gave one last heaving sigh and collapsed on the stone to the side of Daniel. The younger man lay on his stomach, his head cradled face down on his shaking arms. Jack looked sideways at him and for a moment the fear shot through him that Daniel was crying again. Then he remembered the last time he'd been taken in by that movement and gave Daniel a sly poke in the ribs. "Glad to see you're amused by my technique,' he quipped. Daniel turned his head to the side and Jack saw with dismay that his cheeks were wet. But his eyes were shining.

"Jack,' Daniel sighed, "that was amazing. There's no turning back now. I won't be able to get enough of orgasms like that you realise.' Jack leaned in and kissed his cheek.

"Good,' he said simply.

They lay there together in the darkness.

"Daniel?'

"What Jack?'

"What happens now?'

Daniel shuffled up on his side and squinted at Jack through the gloom. "What do you mean?'

Jack sighed. This was difficult. "Was this a one off? Or can it continue? I'll beg if it makes any difference.'

Daniel felt a smile twitch at the corners of his mouth. "Hmmm, Jack O'Neill begging for it. I'd like to see that....' Then he put Jack out of his misery. "Come on Jack, I'm 34 and I've had three relationships, that's a strong indicator I don't go in for one-offs.' He paused and ran his hand down Jack's jawline. "What do you want it to be Jack?'

Jack raised his hand swiftly and caught Daniel's fingers against his cheek. "I don't think either of us should be alone anymore. Ever.'

The two men lay together contented under the stars. Then Jack couldn't resist disturbing the peace once again. "But you've gotta fill me in on every single detail of your life before the Stargate Daniel because I don't want any more horribly good-looking Romanian-speaking surprises.'

Daniel chuckled. "Gotta leave a little mystery Jack.'

Jack growled in disagreement and pulled Daniel into an encompassing embrace, one way or another, he was going to know everything there was to know about this lovely man.