In the dark, silent warehouse, a figure appeared in the mirror. It was dressed in sandy coloured robes with a hood obscuring its face and carrying a small bundle tightly in its arms. The room behind the figure was as dark and impenetrable as the warehouse. The figure stood for five long minutes, as if deep in thought, then, with a firm confident hand, the figure touched the mirror.
~~~
Major Carter raised her eyebrows at Jack O'Neill, for once there had been no smart-ass comments, no quips, no sideways glances. For once, Colonel O'Neill was taking this just as seriously as the rest of them, or even more seriously judging by the intense expression on his face as he watched the video screen.
Sam turned her attention back to the screen. If it hadn't been so serious it would have been quite funny- there was Daniel on the screen doing the usual Daniel thing when he gets excited, waving his hands about and starting on voicing the next thought even before he'd finished the first. But the story he was telling was horrific, shaking Sam to the core and she dreaded to think what it was doing to Colonel O'Neill, or Teal'c. Even Hammond had sounded shaken up when he had called the meeting that morning and had presented SG-1 with the interview tape from the Area 51 holding and research facility. He had informed them that there had been a breach of security at the complex, that surveillance mechanisms had caught an intruder in one of the warehouses. The intruder claimed to have come through the mirror - one of the artifacts SG-1 had recovered from P3R 233 - stored in the maximum security holding facility - a claim backed up by the lack of evidence of a point of entry into the warehouse, and the fact that the heat activated sensors were only set off in the immediate vicinity of the mirror, a physical impossibility for anyone entering the warehouse from outside.
The intruder was interrogated and revealed that he knew about the Stargate and the SGC. In fact, he had intimate knowledge of the military facility and its personnel, particularly the premier exploration team SG-1. He was also highly intelligent and extremely knowledgeable about the ancient cultures being unearthed by the Stargate project and about the threat of the Goa'uld. Hardly surprising then, thought Sam, that he should look and sound exactly like their very own Daniel Jackson.
Sam looked over at Daniel, wondering how he was coping with watching this version of himself, hearing the terrible sights the alternate Daniel had witnessed. Usually Daniel was an open book to Sam, she could read every emotion as it crossed his face on its way to his heart. She knew what he was feeling before he even knew it himself, and she knew Jack could do the same. Daniel was a highly emotional creature but also intensely vulnerable. Sam almost felt it was her duty to keep a sharp eye on Daniel's state of mind, moving in to protect him, even from himself when the need arose.
Today, etched in Daniel's features was a look of sheer disbelief and horror. His blue eyes were shimmering with unshed tears of compassion and his hands were clenched together as if needing to hold onto himself lest he fall apart. Sam longed to reach out and pat his arm to let him know that they would not let him deal with this alone, but she feared that the simple gesture might be the action to shatter the last remaining shreds of his self control.
Sam turned her attention back to the screen. This was killing her, there was Daniel, dressed in Abydonian garb, a shell of a man swamping himself in material as if seeking protection from his memories. He now spoke in a low, emotionless voice, reciting the facts as if he had done so a thousand times before and was now numb to the horror of his claims.
In his universe, the Goa'uld had launched a final attack on earth, but in a form no one had anticipated. It came not through the Stargate, but on the wind. The Goa'uld had not used zat guns, the ribbon device, or any other instruments of their own destructive technology to bring the Tauri to their knees. They had harnessed a weapon Earth had developed entirely of its own accord , through it's own fear and hatred. Biological warfare was an unfamiliar concept to the Goa'uld but not to the scientists and military strategists of Earth.
Several of the more powerful Goa'uld had formed an alliance with the intention of destroying the Tauri once and for all. They studied Tauri methods of warfare, convinced that the least detectable mode of attack, the kind which the Tauri would least expect as originating from the Goa'uld, would be one which mimicked their own methods of fighting one another. Then, on a cool, clear spring day, an unusually early daffodil peaked its head above the earth and bloomed its yellow light on a small patch of grass in a meadow near Colorado. A gentle breeze whisked up the spores which lay cupped in its centre and transported them high into the clouds, where they multiplied in the thin moist air. This happened in many meadows, in many countries. That night, across the continents there were countless reports from night sky-watchers, astronomers, farmers, cleaners and truck drivers, of shooting stars which never seemed to fall away.... When the death gliders were detected and shot down by Earth's Goa'uld defense systems, there was much speculation as to why the Goa'uld would send unmanned craft into Earth's upper atmosphere, leaving them there to be destroyed. Earth prepared for an attack from space.... A few weeks later the first cases of the sickness started being reported, in France and Chile, and then in Japan too.
The face on the video screen wore a mask of numbness as the familiar voice told of the relentless march of death which had overtaken the Earth in a matter of months. The parasite was not transferred through bodily contact. The spores were carried in the air and once coming into contact with a host, did not leave that body until the host succumbed to death. Then the parasite died too. People tried shutting themselves in their homes, or seeking protection underground, but most had been infected before the sickness had even been given a cause. Once infected, the dying was slow, over a period of a few months, insidious but not overly painful until the last stages of the infestation. Just incurable. Society had broken down under the strain. Anarchy or the military ruled in most countries.
The other Daniel reported how the SGC had ceased to function as an exploration facility and was given over as an insulated medical facility to research a cure or immunization against the sickness. When that failed, it became shelter for its dying staff, most of whom were also infected in the early days of the infiltration.
Sam could not take her eyes off the calm, defeated man who listed the names of the people existing in his world and theirs who had succumbed to the sickness. General Hammond, Ferretti, Teal'c, Sam Carter, Jack O'Neill... He broke off when he came to the end of this list, not overwhelmed with emotion as Sam would have expected, but as if he was giving a moment's silence in respect for the fallen. Sam observed however, the hands on the table in front of him, tightly locked together to control the twisting fingers, betraying his true emotions.
General Hammond paused the tape for a moment, sensing perhaps, that the team needed some time to absorb what they had just observed.
Predictably, Colonel O'Neill was the first to find his voice. 'Each time I get a glimpse of another alternate universe, I am so glad we live in this one.'
'I think we can all thank our lucky stars for that, Colonel O'Neill.' Hammond looked round the table.
'Major Carter, what are your thoughts on this story?'
Sam took a deep breath and struggled to keep some semblance of normalcy in her tone. 'Sir, I find it deeply disturbing. But my immediate thought is, is there anything we can do to help this other reality? Scientifically, is it possible for us to study the parasite and formulate a cure in a secure and sterile facility? Is that why the other Dr Jackson has come to us for help?'
Teal'c turned from studying the screen as Sam made her last remark. 'I do not think Daniel Jackson has come to request our help. He bears the expressions of a man who has relinquished hope.'
'Very astute Teal'c, and you are right of course. Dr Jackson did not come to request our help. He appears to hold no hope whatsoever that there is a cure for this disease. However, he has asked to speak to Colonel O'Neill and our Dr Jackson here at the SGC. He made it clear that he wishes to return to his reality as soon as possible and is not seeking refuge. The, uh, other Dr Jackson stated that he merely had something to request of the Colonel and Dr Jackson. We did not feel that we could refuse his request and he is on his way here, under guard of course, as we speak.' General Hammond picked up the remote once again.
'There is one last section of the interview that I would like you to study.' He pressed play.
The man on the screen sat in silence having answered the interviewer's questions to the utmost of his ability. Then, for the first time since the start of the interview he raised his head and looked at the unseen interviewer behind the camera. When he spoke his voice trembled with barely controlled anger and his eyes flashed darkly.
'Now you know everything, would you return to me my child?'
General Hammond stopped the tape and Jack O'Neill visibly jumped. If this wasn't a complete mind fuck he didn't know what was. An alternate universe where everything was going to hell was not a new concept and not particularly hard for the Colonel to grasp - he knew how thin the line was between order and chaos, particularly when society was terrorised and under siege. Damnit, that was one reason why he had joined the forces - to protect those who were weaker or vulnerable and to keep order such that society remained fair and equitable.
But seeing another Daniel Jackson, especially like this, was something he was going to find very hard to come to grips with. The man on the video tape compared unfavorably with the man sitting across the table from him in the briefing room right now. The Daniel on the tape had had all the light kicked out of him. He had no hope, no energy, no unshakable faith in the success of humanity, no spirit - all the qualities he admired in his Daniel Jackson. It frightened him to think that he had just been given a glimpse of what might become of his Daniel should something so dreadful occur in his own world. It frightened him to think that Daniel was capable of becoming like that.
Jack could not envisage the Daniel Jackson he knew, reciting the names of his dead friends without a shred of emotion.
But what shocked him more was not so much the differences, as the similarities.
The open and harsh anger in his voice as the man on the tape asked for his child was true to the passion of his Daniel, the eyes were the same repositories of emotion and expression that Jack had gazed into a thousand times over. The sadness and hurt revealed in them, the same sadness that made Daniel a hundred years old and as young as the day.
Jack knew then and there he did not want to see this man in the flesh.
General Hammond was looking at him, expecting some sort of comment or reaction. Jack licked his lips, his throat suddenly dry. For once, he was lost for words.
But it was Daniel who saved him.
'He brought a child with him?' Everyone looked around at Daniel, surprise blatant on their faces. No one had expected Daniel to speak so soon, assuming him to be too affected by what they had seen and heard. Evidently, Sam thought, his self-control was stronger than they gave him credit for.
Hammond shuffled the papers in front of him. 'Yes, his son, a boy aged about 18 months.'
Daniel nodded slowly, digesting this information.
'Did he say who was the mother of this child?'
Jack frowned, he could not read the emotion in Daniel's voice as he asked that question. It sounded bland, as if he were inquiring after someone of no importance to him, rather than the child of an alternate version of himself.
Hammond shuffled the papers again nervously. Jack figured there was something the General was concealing from them and he determined to find out what it was.
'That was discussed on an earlier tape. I believe in that universe the boy is the child of Dr Jackson and his wife Sha're. Sha're was not taken or made a host by the Goa'uld, instead, she returned to earth with Dr Jackson. She was also not a victim of the Goa'uld attack on earth. He says she left for Abydos several months before the sickness began to emerge.'
'Why?' Again, a calm, light tone, so unlike Daniel. Oh boy, thought Jack, they were going to have to have a very long talk after this meeting.
'Why what Dr Jackson?' General Hammond did not expect this line of questioning.
'Why did she go back to Abydos, leaving her husband and child behind?' Thin cracks began to appear in the veneer of Daniel's self-control.
General Hammond coughed. 'I don't know the answer to that Dr Jackson. Perhaps you should ask him yourself when he arrives this afternoon.'
Jack suddenly found his voice. 'Today? He's coming today?' Damn! That gave him practically no time to prepare himself or Daniel for what would surely be a very stressful encounter.
General Hammond collected his notes and stood. 'Yes, we'll reconvene at 1400 hours. Major Carter, Teal'c, I would like you to also attend this meeting . SG-1 you are dismissed.' The General left the room.
The four members of SG-1 remained at the table, still collecting themselves and their thoughts. Daniel was the first to speak. He licked his lips nervously and then gave a short dry mirthless laugh. 'Two of me to deal with, boy Jack are you gonna love that.'
Jack looked sharply at Daniel. What the hell was he playing at? Daniel met his gaze and lowered his eyes quickly.
'I was being sarcastic. I meant how you always find it frustrating and difficult to understand when I talk about stuff like, well, like alternate universes. You're really gonna hate two of us babbling on about it.' He spoke hastily.
Jack let out a breath of relief. 'Oh, I think I'll be able to deal with it.' He said evenly. 'Carter can be my translator.' Sometimes Jack really worried that Daniel was going to give the game away.
'I wonder what he wants to talk to you about?' Sam mused aloud.
'I find it very disturbing that he has not yet made his intentions clear. That is very unlike you Daniel Jackson.' Teal'c sounded disapproving. Daniel flashed with anger.
'Let's get one thing straight. This man is not me, okay? He is like me, but he's different in a few very important ways.' Daniel shoved his chair back and stormed out of the room. Jack winced as he realised how it must have affected Daniel to hear another version of himself who had had the chance to build a life with Sha're and even start a family with her, only to have it all swept away yet again. How it must've hurt him. Even though he and Daniel had been lovers for many months now, Jack knew it still pained Daniel to remember Sha're and their life on Abydos.
Sam looked at her commanding officer, she was aware of the relationship between the two men and had been slightly hurt at the beginning that they had chosen not to confide in her and Teal'c. But after her initial dismay, she had conceded that in the military, tacit understanding was safer than confrontation and she had chosen to make the Colonel aware of her knowledge only if he sought to look deeper into the words she spoke. Both she and Teal'c, being of military minds, understood the need for absolute discretion and the cold concept of 'need to know.'
Carter chose her words carefully. 'I think Daniel would benefit from some strong guidance from you this afternoon Colonel.'
O'Neill studied her and Teal'c with tired eyes. He rubbed a hand over his forehead and shrugged his shoulders. There was no answer to that. His gesture suggested he would do what he could but that would probably not be enough.
~~~
Jack found Daniel in his lab, pretending to categorize some artifacts they'd brought back from the last mission. He watched Daniel stuff up a label three times before deciding that the scientist might benefit from a little light conversation. Or something.
He coughed to let Daniel know he was there in the doorway. Daniel didn't look up, he just stood there, head bowed, clenching and unclenching his fist gripping his pen and hovering over the chart. Jack took a few casual steps into the room.
'Need any help?' He leaned against the bench-top and crossed his feet at the ankles. Keep it relaxed, Jack reminded himself, don't want to frighten him away now. Over the past few months when Jack had come to know Daniel Jackson better than he had known anyone before in his life, he had learnt the rewards of paying closer attention to the younger man's body language and recognizing the signs which meant that Daniel was under stress. Where he used to be impatient with the scientist who could be so stubborn when it came to talking about his own emotions and troubles, Jack could now see the benefits of sometimes employing the old softly, softly routine. Not that he still didn't think the best way to handle Daniel sometimes was give him a short sharp dose of good old reality and if that didn't work then fifty push-ups oughta do it. But he could also do 'caring and sharing' when the situation called for it. Like now.
Unfortunately, the good doctor didn't seem inclined to agree today of all days.
'Oh please Jack, do come in, yes, I'd love for you to transcribe those 340 page documents you see piled up on my desk. I'm sorry, I didn't know your cache of talents included ancient Sumerian or I would've asked you sooner.' Daniel could be very snarky when he wanted. Jack resisted the urge to retort and decided to just bite the bullet.
'Gonna be a bit weird at the meeting this afternoon isn't it?' Jack avoided looking at Daniel directly and ran his fingertips absently over the bench-top.
Daniel didn't reply.
'I reckon with two of you anthro-geeks plus Carter in the one meeting I'm gonna understand about one word in four.'
No reply. Oh, well, time to change tactics. Softly, softly, fails yet again. Hello reality.
Jack picked up a little statue and began to fiddle with it, thankful that it was made from pliable material. He soon discovered he could twist its legs up over its shoulders. 'So I was thinking, how about we invite... yourself... over to my place for dinner tonight. You can get to know yourself better. I wonder if he likes hockey? You better hope he can't drink more beers than you can without throwing up... oh well, that's not hard to do really, it's only three...'
As Daniel's pen flew across the room and stuck fast in an unlucky volume of Herodotus' Histories, Jack congratulated himself on making a breakthrough. Kinda.
He quickly closed the gap between himself and his friend, pressing home the advantage.
'Daniel, I know this is gonna be kinda weird for you, but I'll be there, and Carter and Teal'c...'
'Weird?' Daniel spat the word out contemptuously. 'Weird? You think that sums it up? Weird? Amazing, you're so perceptive Jack.' Jack refused to be baited.
'What would you call it Daniel?'
'A humiliating reflection of my failings as a human being. That about fits the bill.'
Geez Daniel, how'd you come up with that one? Jack struggled to keep it light. 'You know, that wasn't the description that immediately sprang into my mind. You're a few steps ahead of me here as usual.'
'He protected his wife, he stopped the Goa'uld from taking her, he gave her a child, he's a father, he's survived when no one else has, he has done everything I have failed to do, his life is everything mine should have been.' Daniel sagged against the bench-top, looking about as miserable as a kid who's been told he's never gonna make it to the major league (although Jack figured that wouldn't have hurt Daniel quite as much as it hurt him at age 11).
Jack rested his hand lightly on top of Daniel's trembling fingers on the bench.
'Ah, but if your life had taken those turns then we wouldn't have this would we?'
'We wouldn't have what?'
For a smart man, when Daniel got upset, he could be really, really dumb.
Jack closed his fingers tight around the other man's hand. 'This, you and me, together. You were happy enough with it this morning... and last night.... And the night before...'
Daniel smiled in spite of himself. Then his face closed up again. 'I don't want to go to this meeting. I don't want to know what he has to ask us. I have a really bad feeling about this Jack.' Daniel lifted his face to meet Jack's kind and concerned eyes. They expressed a far deeper sympathy than his words had suggested. Daniel had known what he would see there, that was why he had so far resisted looking at Jack throughout the conversation. He had to have time to give voice to his fears before looking in to those eyes which had always reassured him everything was going to be alright. He never wanted to prove those eyes liars but he had to make sure Jack was prepared for this meeting. Daniel knew it was going to be a lot harder than Jack expected.
'We owe him an audience Daniel. Do you know how mad I would be if you futzed with that mirror again and ended up in an Alternate Universe where they refused to listen to you? Do for him what you would hope for yourself.'
A teasing smile twitched around the corners of Daniel's mouth. 'Geez Jack, that sounded almost wise'.
'Yeah, I've been taking lessons from Teal'c. Still gotta work on the eyebrow thing though.' Jack presented him with the twisted up statue. 'Oh, and I hope this wasn't too important.'
Daniel finally grinned. 'No, that actually came free in the last batch of software I got. I think it's supposed to relieve stress.'
Jack propped it up on the bench. 'Works then. I'm feeling very relaxed.' With a final squeeze of Daniel's hand, Jack waltzed out of the lab.
Out in the corridor, Jack O'Neill shuddered and collapsed against a wall. He did not feel good about this meeting at all. Knowing Daniel's state of mind, the thing Jack most needed to do now was seek out General Hammond and find out whatever it was the old man was keeping a secret. There was no way Jack was going into that room at 1400 hours unprepared.
~~~
It was a composed but determined Colonel O'Neill who knocked on the door of General Hammond's office.
As he was invited into the inner sanctum, O'Neill noticed how tired the General seemed and surmised that he had been correct in assuming there was more to this than a simple glimpse of tragedy in a parallel universe.
'General Hammond sir, I'm concerned about the scheduled meeting this afternoon. I wanted to discuss it with you beforehand in order to be fully prepared.'
'Sit down Colonel O'Neill.' Hammond waved a hand indicating the chair across from his desk. Jack took the seat and rubbed his already sweating palms on his thighs. This so did not look good, Hammond had given in without a fight. 'What information do you feel you need to know, Colonel?'
'Well, how about starting with what question this 'other' Daniel Jackson is intending to ask me?' Jack regretted the impertinence in his tone as soon as he spoke the words but the stress was wearing on him too and he just shrugged and waited for Hammond's response.
The General rose from his desk and walked over to the bookcase, feigning interest in an encyclopedic volume. Now Jack was really worried. As a military man, General Hammond was trained to deal with the harsh realities of duty and Jack had never known him to display hesitation or vulnerability in front of another officer. Even if he hadn't been in the military, Jack guessed he would've been a straight up and down kind of a man. Evasive behavior was out of character as well as out of training. Hammond swiped at an invisible film of dust on the shelf top, then he coughed and folded his hands behind his back. He turned to face Jack.
'Colonel O'Neill, I do not know what the 'other' Dr Jackson intends to ask of you. I can reasonably guess however, what he intends to ask 'our' Dr Jackson.'
Jack thought he detected a twinge of hopelessness in General Hammond's tone.
'And that is...?' prompted Jack.
'It's quite obvious Colonel O'Neill, that Dr Jackson intends on abandoning his child in this, universe, as it were.'
Jack had to cut in there. 'General, in the admittedly 'simple' understanding I have of the whole alternate universe, thing, whatever, I would assume that other versions of 'ourselves' would bear some smidgen of similarity to 'us'... kinda... my point being that Daniel, Dr Jackson would never, not even in the furthest interpretation of his character, abandon his own child, if he had one... which this, 'Daniel', does, I think.'
'Colonel O'Neill, this Dr Jackson is dying. He has the sickness. I believe he intends to ask our Dr Jackson to take over the role of father.'
This statement cut Jack to the core. He hated to think of Daniels dying in any universe. It was harder to imagine that then it was to imagine his own death from some Goa'uld disease spore. He knew it was so selfish but at that moment all he could wish was that this Daniel would return to his own universe before he succumbed.
Hammond was asking him a question. Jack didn't hear him. Hammond repeated it.
'Colonel O'Neill, I asked you if you think that Dr Jackson will be able to handle attending this meeting . I wasn't happy with his reaction to viewing the tape this morning, not that I blame him of course, even I found it disturbing.'
Jack struggled out an answer. 'Daniel will... cope... I'm sure, I, we'll be there to support him.'
Hammond walked around and put a hand on Jack's shoulder. 'Thank you Colonel O'Neill, if SG-1 wasn't such as tight unit I would have had more reservations about agreeing to this meeting. Thank you for setting my mind at ease.'
'That's perfectly alright sir, and I appreciate your candor in informing me as to the nature of this...meeting. Thank you General.'
Hammond stepped back behind his desk to give Jack room to make his escape.
~~~
The four members of SG-1 and General Hammond sat anxiously waiting in the debriefing room at 1400 hours. The car transporting the 'other' Dr Jackson had been slightly delayed.
Teal'c waited with his usual calm stoicism. Jack mused as to whether patience came naturally to the people of Chu'lak or whether Jaffa mothers just knew some really great bribes. His own mother had always gone with the pithy saying, 'good things come to those who wait,' and Jack had 'never' believed that one. Probably why his knee was jittering up and down at that very moment and Teal'c was serenely sipping his water.
Carter looked very worried but also as if she was trying to hide her underlying eagerness. Jack didn't blame her - she was a scientist after all and duty-bound to wet her pants over the idea of transcending the time-space continuum... or whatever that mirror thingy did. He hoped she would do most of the talking so as to give him and Daniel some breathing space, particularly if he needed to get Daniel out of there in a hurry. As well as he knew Daniel, Jack sure as hell did not know how he would react to the visitor's request. Hell, he didn't even know how he would react if it was a version of himself that came and... oh that made his head hurt.
He glanced over at Daniel who was sitting opposite him, next to Teal'c. The man was a study of misery. He kept wriggling about as if he couldn't get comfortable. Then he crossed his arms and laid his elbows on the table in front of him, leaning down on his arms and staring intently at the shiny blank surface as if the cure was written there. A confused frown lined his forehead.
Jack got up and grabbed the coffee pot - just to do something.
'Coffee anyone? Daniel?' At the sound of his name Daniel looked up. Good boy, thought Jack, we haven't lost you yet then. He gestured with the pot. Daniel looked at the pot and then shook his head.
At that moment came the sound of footsteps and then a brisk knock on the door. All five pairs of eyes swiveled around to the door as it opened and two officers walked in followed by one Dr Daniel Jackson, replete in Abydonian dress and carrying a small child, also in robes.
~~~
Jack was so glad he was clutching the coffee pot just then because the burning sensation in his hand was just the distraction he need to tear his eyes from the man and take his seat, returning the coffee pot to its stand first.
'Aren't you going to offer me a cup of coffee then Jack?' the 'other' Daniel teased, without looking at Jack as he took a seat and settled the child on his lap.
Jack hesitated, then decided to play along. 'Would you like a cup of coffee Dr Jackson?'
The other Daniel flickered his eyes briefly in his direction then looked away again as he spoke. 'Yes, lovely, thank you.' Jack got up and poured him a coffee. He set it down in front of the man, still not completely sure what game he had entered into with the visitor. In fact, not sure at all. Were all Daniels this enigmatic? Or just the versions he happened to come into contact with?
Once Jack was seated again, General Hammond chose to initiate the discussion.
'Dr Jackson, I believe you are familiar with everyone attending this meeting? Or a version thereof at least?'
'Yes I am.' Again the downcast eyes. Jack sneaked a look at 'his' Daniel and was concerned to see him staring at the visitor with a mixture of fear and envy written on his features. Hold on Daniel, just stay back for now, thought Jack, remembering that a dog bites hardest when it is frightened and wounded, and desperate.
'Dr Jackson, we've reviewed the interview tapes and we still have a few questions we'd like to ask you about your world and the Goa'uld attack before you proceed with your request.'
'Yes, fine, of course, go ahead.' Some things don't change, thought Sam wryly.
Hammond went first. Jack smiled as he saw Sam was dying to jump in with her list. Age before beauty Carter, you know that, he thought.
'Dr Jackson, just how much of your world is affected by this Goa'uld disease? Hysteria aside on what scale are we talking?'
Dr Jackson gave a rueful smile. 'Hysteria, I guess that's a fair description. There's not a city, town or village that remains untouched. The parasite traveled on the very air we breathed and multiplied millions of times a second in favorable conditions. Gas masks were the only real protection but the majority of the infection occurred before anyone was even aware of it. The Goa'uld basically planned to destroy the entire population of earth. Maybe they decided we were just be too much of a nuisance and that out-weighed our usefulness as hosts.' He shrugged his shoulders.
Then Teal'c spoke up. 'Why did other planets not come to your aid? Did you try contacting Chu'lak?'
'I was dispatched as an emissary to several planets including Chu'lak to seek an alliance or technology which might help us, but as this was not a traditional Goa'uld tactic, no one could provide any knowledge of how to combat it. When you think about it, we were victims of our own tendency to warmongering. The Goa'uld are parasites themselves, they would generally not use another parasite as a method of warfare. It would seem... too close to home... disrespectful maybe. But we gave them the idea and the know-how. They just provided a living poison more insidious and more deadly than any anthrax or virus we could create. Masters of our own destruction.' The voice became the dull recitation again, as if that were the only way such horrors could be recounted - with chilling dispassion. Jack felt as if someone had tiptoed over his grave.
'What about Abydos?' For the first time Daniel spoke up, trying to meet the visitor's dispassion with his own and failing miserably, the horror and compassion glaringly obvious in the transparent blue eyes.
Dr Jackson looked at his equal. 'Abydos was destroyed by Apophis' death gliders two months before the attack on earth. It is thought the parasite was in part revenge for our part in the failed attempt to save the people of Abydos a second time.'
'And Sha're?' Jack felt a twinge of some combination of jealousy and sympathy as Daniel softly asked after the fate of his wife.
'Sha're was living on Abydos at the time. She was killed in the first air raid.' Dr Jackson's eyes filled with tears as he recounted that sad fact. At last, thought Jack, some shred of a Jackson he could recognize.
Daniel shook his head. 'Don't give me crocodile tears, ' he spoke harshly, his voice cracking with anger. 'Why was she living on Abydos in the first place?'
The visitor rubbed a hand softly over the top of his son's head. 'It was her choice. We were together for two years but it didn't work out. She chose to return to Abydos and she left our child with me because she felt there was more opportunity for him on Earth. I disagreed, but there you go. Sha're always knew exactly what she wanted.'
Daniel snorted derisively. 'That's not the Sha're I married. She would never do that.'
A flash of anger in Dr Jackson's eyes. 'No you're right, but it is the Sha're I married and lived with as husband and wife for over two years. How long did you spend with your wife?'
Uh oh, thought both Jack and Sam, this is going to get messy.
'One year, before she was taken by the Goa'uld. I searched the universe for her. But she died, I saw her die, I couldn't save her. If she had lived and I had been able to free her from the Goa'uld, I assure you, I would not have given up on our marriage so easily!'
'How do you know that Daniel Jackson?' Jack observed that the visitor was getting upset now and doing the hand wavy thing that his Daniel had always done so appealingly. 'How can you say how long your marriage would have lasted? Weren't you already arguing over the fact that she wanted children and you didn't?'
Daniel slumped back in his chair, the fight in him all but gone. The visitor spoke more tenderly now. 'Knowing how you feel now, can you honestly say that you would have given it your all?'
Jack sucked in his breath sharply, just how close did the visitor's universe parallel their own? The jittering in his knee got worse.
Carter could not hold back her questions any longer. 'How is it that you have avoided the disease?' she burst out.
Dr Jackson turned his sad gaze to her. 'I haven't,' he said simply. With a sigh he lifted the child up and sat him on the lap of the officer sitting to his right. Then he stood and proceeded to rummage in the folds of his clothes. He drew the material apart to reveal his bare torso. Carter could not smother her gasp of shock.
The man's skin was covered in livid red streaks, forming a twisted maze of tendrils over his torso, but the skin was not broken - Carter leaned in for a closer exam and noted that the redness seemed to be coming from a growth lying underneath the skin but over the internal organs. Dr Jackson was also painfully thin, his ribs protruding with each breath.
Teal'c nodded. 'I see now why you are wearing Abydonian garb.'
Dr Jackson nodded. 'It is more comfortable to wear loose clothes.' He closed his robes.
Carter resumed her seat. 'It is painful then?'
'Not overly, at least not until the final stages,' the visitor shook his head. 'The parasite grows around the internal organs of the host, gradually wending its way up to the throat. As it consumes more room in the body there is less room for other things, such as your stomach.' He gave another rueful grin. 'Not a recommended method of weight-loss it must be said. However, it generally strangles the victim in their sleep before they actually starve to death.' He swallowed hard and the expression in his eyes defied anyone to display pity for him.
Daniel licked his dry lips. 'Mistletoe.'
Dr Jackson chuckled. 'Ah yes, the mistletoe and the oak. How appropriate. I remember Jack likened it to a boa constrictor. But then he always exaggerated the strength of his adversaries. Typical soldier tactics. Play up the enemy so your victory seems all the greater or your loss not so shameful.' He smiled wistfully at some memory and Jack felt a pang of sympathy for this man.
Daniel put his hand over his mouth and ran from the room. The room fell silent as they heard him throwing up in the corridor.
Dr Jackson took his seat again and lifted the child back onto his own lap. 'Colonel O'Neill, whilst Daniel is out of the room, I have a request to put to you.'
'Yes?' Jack drew out the word. He cast his eyes briefly towards the door then struggled to concentrate back on the man in front of him. He really wanted to leave and check on Daniel.
'My child is not a host to this disease, at least, he shows no signs of it yet. I know I will die soon, that is a given, but I can't bare the thought that he would be an orphan, as I was. This is the twenty-third universe we have visited through the mirror in the past two months, ever since I realized I had the sickness. I have been looking for a universe which most parallels my own....'
Jack snorted, he couldn't help himself. 'I've gotta say, this one must be one of the least like yours there is.'
Dr Jackson looked at him deadly serious. 'That's where you're wrong. I was not looking for a parallel situation, but parallel people. This is closest one I have found. You are so similar to the Jack O'Neill I know, that I have no qualms in asking if you would take my son and raise him as your own.'
Jack's mind reeled in shock. This was not in the least what he was expecting. He looked at Hammond who displayed an equal amount of shock and perplexity. Obviously he had not anticipated this either. Even Teal'c looked slightly stunned. Sam looked anxiously from the Colonel to the visitor and back again.
Jack played for time. 'Why me and not Daniel?'
The visitor smiled grimly. 'I know myself too well. I don't have the time to convince a Daniel Jackson to take my child, but I trust that a Jack O'Neill will meet my request now and later take the time needed and possess the sensitivity necessary to be able to persuade Daniel to accept this child as his own.'
Jack groaned. 'Okay, let me get this straight. You're saying, you know I won't say no to you, but after you're gone, I'll do my damnedest to get Daniel to take the kid.'
The visitor smiled genuinely. 'Geez Jack, I wish I had your flair for putting things so clearly.'
Jack sat back with a sigh. His head was aching. He wanted so much to go outside and make sure Daniel was okay. He had been gone way too long. He also knew he couldn't say no to the dying man sitting next to him. Jack groaned inwardly. They were all staring at him expectantly, waiting to hear his answer. Oh fer cryin' out loud, he wasn't about to deal with all this emotional stuff in front of Hammond and Teal'c and two miscellaneous officers. So Jack dealt with it the only way he could.
'Yeah, sure I'll take the kid. Give his name, rank and serial number to Carter, cos right now I'm off to make sure Daniel hasn't thrown up a vital internal organ by accident.' And with a quick nod to General Hammond, Jack made his escape.
~~~
Daniel reached the sanctuary of the corridor just in time. He threw up in a nearby storage closet, then shut the door on the rank mess and leant against the cool wall of the corridor, muttering to distract himself from the images that kept flashing in his mind. The mirror image of his own body wracked with a dreadful parasite, the knowledge that Jack had died from the same affliction. The quiet desperation in the visitor's eyes which told Daniel too clearly what he had come to ask.
He slid down the wall and hugged his knees to his chest. Running his hands up under his glasses he pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes as if that would prevent him from seeing the images again and again. He felt his throat constrict as if he too had been afflicted by the parasite and the horror induced him to crawl along the wall, open the storage closet and empty his stomach once again. Slumped against the wall, Daniel refused to listen to the little voice in his head which summoned up his compassion and empathy. He closed his mind to the thought of raising a child which was his but not his. The one image which refused to submit however, was that of his other self disappearing back through the mirror, with the child, condemning them both to certain death.
He did not notice when the door to the debriefing room flung open and Jack pounded down the corridor towards him. He did not feel his lover slip down beside him and envelop him in his strong arms, to hell with the security cameras.
What eventually did penetrate however, was the warm lips near his ear whispering reassuring words. 'It's alright, Danny, my Daniel, he didn't ask you. He asked me. He asked me. I can do it. I will take the child.'
~~~
'Don't do it Jack,' Daniel whispered.
Jack didn't reply. He wasn't sure if he had heard the shivering man correctly.
'Don't do it,' came the whisper again, no mistaking it this time. 'Daniel, it's alright, you're upset, it can do that to a person, meeting an alternate version of yourself and discovering they're dying. It's.... shocking, and unnerving. You don't have to worry, I'll take care of this.' Jack muttered the words into the silky hair as he cradled Daniel's head against his chest.
But Daniel suddenly squirmed from his embrace and leapt up from their huddle on the floor. Jack leant back against the wall, his elbows resting on his knees as he watched his lover transform in an instant from crumpled wreak to ranting, angry stranger. Daniel paced back and forth across the corridor as if only the concrete walls and the fact that they were 11 stories beneath the earth could contain his anger.
'How dare he? How dare he ask that of me? Of you, of us. How could he do this to me?' Daniel slammed an open palm into the wall above Jack's head as he whirled around and paced to the opposite side of the corridor. 'Knowing how I feel now,' he mimicked spitefully, 'how the hell does he know how I feel now? He's the All-American family guy, he's got no clue how I feel now!'
Jack held out a conciliatory hand. 'Hey, calm down Daniel. The guy is dying okay, he's just trying to do what's best for his kid. Wouldn't you do the same?' Jack frowned at his hands, that came out all wrong, it sounded as if he was accusing Daniel of being less than his alternate. 'I just mean, I know if you had a kid, you would lay down your life for it. I know that.' Jack locked the raging Daniel in a penetrating stare, 'I know that,' he repeated heavily. 'This is you.'
'No it isn't Jack!' screamed Daniel and he slammed the wall with both hands. That seemed to knock the rage from him for when he turned back to Jack, the soldier could only see a quiet desolation in those cool blue eyes. 'It isn't me, because I wouldn't have a child. Ever.'
Jack's blood ran cold, literally. He kneaded his knuckles together then rubbed his hands on his pants. The floor was suddenly as hard as granite and ice-cold. The look in Daniel's eyes was so familiar, Jack had seen it a thousand times. Every time he looked in the mirror the year after Charlie's death and realized what he had lost. A future, not just the good memories of the past. It had taken this much to bring home to Jack the revelation that Daniel had ruled out that option many years ago. God Daniel, thought Jack, did you really never imagine yourself as a father? Or was it only after a certain accident in the New York Museum? So long ago you might not remember that there once was another option rather than a life lived in a constant state of holding your breath lest the ones you love suddenly cease to exist beneath an unsightly rubble of shattered faith.
Daniel stared bleakly at a point somewhere far above Jack's head. 'I can't go back in that room Jack.'
'I wouldn't ask that of you Daniel.'
Daniel leant back against the opposite wall as if seeking out its chill. He spread his palms out against the wall he had been hitting in rage only minutes before. Then he slowly jammed his fists deep into his pockets.
'I'm going home,' not a question, just a statement of fact. Jack managed to croak out a reply all the same. 'My place or yours?'
'Mine.'
'Fine.' Jack tried not to sound curt, but neither did he want to give Daniel the impression that he thought that running away was the best method of handling the situation.
Daniel heaved a long drawn-out breath, shrugged himself up and shuffled off down the corridor. Jack leant down and rested his aching head in his hands for a moment, then dragged himself up off the floor and headed back to the conference room.
~~~
'Well, Dr Jackson, this is a very difficult situation you've put us in and I...' As Jack opened the door, General Hammond stopped in the middle of his sentence and turned around.
'Thank you, Colonel O'Neill, for rejoining us.' Hammond's tone was sincere as Jack nodded to the General and took his seat.
'General, sir, Daniel will not be returning to the meeting. He, uh, found it a little too disturbing.' Jack tried not to look at the other Daniel, but for some reason he felt compelled. In those weary blue eyes he read the understanding that had been blinkered out of the man who'd just left him in the corridor, nothing said, just a look, that was all.
Dr Jackson coughed slightly and addressed the whole table. 'My time has pretty much run out. Please, will you take me back to the mirror, so I may return to my own reality?'
Sam shot a look at the General. 'Sir, couldn't Dr Jackson remain here where we could work on a cure? Perhaps we have better facilities, perhaps we could try radical surgery...' Dr Jackson placed a soft hand over Sam's on the table.
'Sam, you know that can't happen. I can't stay here because of the probability of cascade tremors after 48 hours.'
Sam's eyes filled with tears. 'You know about that? I was hoping we could work on that too,' she joked weakly. Dr Jackson chuckled quietly. Then he grew very serious.
'Actually, I am needed back in my world. There are only a few of us left in the SGC. Dr Fraiser, Janet, is one of them. She is even closer to her time than I am, I have to go back and be with her. There's been so many times in my life when she's helped me through pain and fear and illness that I could never leave her to die alone. I couldn't, do you understand? I must go back now.'
Sam clutched Daniel's hand and nodded, fiercely biting back the urge to sob. She understood.
General Hammond coughed, unhappy to disturb this moment but there was business to attend to before the good-byes.
'Dr Jackson, there is the question of your son...'
Jack cut in. 'I already said I'll take the kid alright?' He was talking to Hammond but not taking his eyes off the other Daniel.
'You may think you are prepared to do this Colonel and were it a personal decision I probably wouldn't have a right to intervene, however,' Hammond paused and waited for Jack to look at him. He didn't. the General frowned and continued, knowing Jack didn't want to hear what he was about to say.
'This is a military and a medical issue Colonel O'Neill, I'm sorry I have to remind you of that.' Jack tore his eyes away from Daniel and tried to focus on what the General was saying.
'Firstly, this is not something I can condone in the course of duty. This request goes beyond the bounds of the commitment I would expect from my personnel. You are not obliged to comply with Dr Jackson's request neither can I, with a clear conscience, let you accept responsibility for this child, when the situation has arisen within the jurisdiction of the SGC.'
'Oh hang on a minute sir,' Jack cut through the military doublespeak. 'You let Dr Fraiser adopt Cassandra - how is this any different?'
'The difference, Colonel O'Neill, is that Dr Fraiser is first and foremost, medical personnel. She is not on active gate travel duty whereas you, Colonel, most certainly are, and so, for that matter, is our Dr Jackson.'
'And that makes a difference, how exactly?' Jack was getting annoyed now and he didn't care who knew it. Daniel gave a little smile, as if he'd watched this scene too many times before and knew how it would end. There was a quiet desperation in his eyes though which spoke of the enormity of the situation.
Jack was not the only one to be affected by the emotional strain of the meeting. Hammond began to perspire a little on his brow. 'Colonel, if you can't see how that makes a difference then maybe I shouldn't have assigned you as commander of a team!' He took out a handkerchief and mopped his brow. 'Colonel O'Neill, on every mission you and the rest of the Stargate teams risk your lives on intensive, active military duty. If your minds are not one hundred percent on the job the whole future of this planet could be thrown into jeopardy.'
'So what you're saying is we can't have families? Do I understand you correctly sir?'
'No Colonel you do not! I am saying that this decision would have far-reaching repercussions which I don't think you have even thought to consider. This is a child, Colonel O'Neill. You are making a lifetime commitment. You do know that don't you O'Neill?'
Jack could not even look at the General at that moment, such was his anger. He spread his hands flat on the table and stared at the backs of them. His voice was calm and controlled but Sam could tell that he was past outrage and into cold, white anger. 'You don't need to remind me of that fact General Hammond. I am . . . . was, already a father.'
Hammond flushed. He'd made a mistake and that he regretted, because he did like Colonel O'Neill as a friend, and there was no way he was going to get Jack to see sense now. He pressed on with his second point.
'Then there is our Dr Jackson to consider. He has not yet had the opportunity to voice an opinion regarding this matter. Don't you think he deserves a say, Colonel O'Neill, before you commit him to something like this? It seems to me that this,' he nodded to the quiet man gently whispering to his son at the end of the table, 'this Dr Jackson is making the request on the grounds that you take the child temporarily with a view to putting pressure on Daniel Jackson to accept the child as his own. This kind of collusion against a member of my personnel I find... unacceptable.'
At the mention of his name, Daniel looked up. 'I wouldn't ask, General Hammond, if I didn't know my own heart.'
Teal'c spoke up, for the first time since the visitor's purpose had come to light. 'Perhaps there are differences between our world and yours, that you cannot perceive. How can you know what Daniel Jackson is truly feeling?'
Dr Jackson smiled serenely at Teal'c. 'Oh, there are differences alright, just not where it matters,' he replied enigmatically. 'but you're right of course, I can't know absolutely whether he will accept my child, but tell me, what other option do I have?' He looked around the table. 'And what option do you have, other than to take this child as I ask? Would you really have me take him back through to my universe? Where I will die, and if he does not die from the sickness, then he will surely starve or die through misadventure with no one left to care for him? Could you live with yourselves having condemned a healthy child to death?'
Jack looked at Carter. If the situation hadn't been so tragic he would have felt the urge to quip that the man even ran the guilt trip just as well as their Daniel Jackson. Carter reached over and squeezed his hand and Jack knew she was thinking the same thing.
Dr Jackson leaned forward and made one final plea over the top of his innocent son's head. 'Please take him. Please. There's nowhere else for him.'
When nobody answered him, the dying man reached into the folds of his robes. He pulled out two envelopes. He pushed these across the table to Jack. Jack picked up the slips of paper. One was labeled 'Daniel Jackson', the other to 'Child'.
'The letter for Daniel should only be given to him if you think there is absolutely no chance that he will change his mind and accept the child as his. Please wait until you are absolutely certain, as that letter is your ace but once it's done, it's done. The other is for our child, when he comes of age.'
Jack frowned. 'How come you haven't put his name on this? Come to think of it, what is his name?'
Daniel smiled. 'In the traditions of Abydos a child is not named until his personality is clearly evident and then it is not spoken until he has had the welcoming ceremony, usually around the age of two. Our child has not had his ceremony yet, but your Daniel will know what he is to be named, when the time comes.'
'Oh, uh, good,' said Jack.
Dr Jackson rose stiffly to his feet. Although he had made light of the effects of the incurable sickness, the pain was clearly etched in his features. 'I really must go now. Please take me back to the mirror.'
The rest rose awkwardly, no one really quite sure what to say to the dying man.
He turned first to Carter. 'Sam, would you take my child down to Dr Fraiser? I'm sure she'll want to check him out, she seems to be pretty consistent in most universes.' He gave a small smile at the weak attempt at humor. Then he lowered his face and gently kissed the top of his son's head. The child looked at him and smiled back as he was handed over to Sam's waiting arms.
Jack took a step forward. This was all moving too fast. 'Hang on a minute, don't you even want to say goodbye to him, properly?' Jack's mind reeled through all the things he would have said to Charlie had he had the chance to say goodbye. All the things he would have told him. All the hugs and kisses he would have bestowed on that lively little person, and how he would never have been able to let him go. Yet here was Daniel, calmly handing over his son, knowing he would never see him again. Jack would've been screaming at this moment. Hell, he might even scream right now, if Daniel wasn't going to.
But Daniel stopped him with a gentle hand on his arm. 'It's alright Jack, we've already said our good-byes. I'm ready to let him go.' Jack looked into those familiar blue eyes and saw that Daniel was screaming already, had been screaming since he walked into that meeting, maybe since he found out he was going to die. But none of them had been listening to him. Jack felt his throat constrict. He licked his dry lips and tried to think of something appropriate, something supportive, to say. But any words he chose would just seem meaningless in the face of Daniel's sacrifice. He settled for an awkward pat on the shoulder.
Daniel looked over at General Hammond, who was getting a little misty-eyed himself.
'General Hammond, may I have a moment alone with Colonel O'Neill please? I would like to thank him properly for accepting my child, even if you decide that there's a more appropriate home for him with another family in this world.'
General Hammond nodded. 'I'll have a car prepared to transport you back to Area 51 Dr Jackson.' Hammond, Teal'c and the officers left the room, closing the door behind them.
Jack looked curiously at the other Daniel who was fiddling with a pen Carter had left on the table. He kept fiddling with it as he asked Jack a question.
'Were you surprised Jack, to hear that things did not work out between me and Sha're?'
Jack was taken aback. That was the last thing he expected to hear as Daniel's parting words. 'Thank you', maybe? 'Look after my son.' Most definitely. But whether or not he was surprised to hear of the failure of Daniel's marriage? What were this guy's priorities?
Daniel was looking at him intently so Jack stumbled out an answer. 'Yeah, maybe, a little bit I guess...' Christ Jack, he admonished himself, could you sound just a little more unconvincing? 'Actually no, Daniel I wasn't surprised, but that's because things are a bit different here.'
Daniel moved closer, dropping the pen on the table and standing in front of Jack. 'Not that different Jack.' He ran his hands down the sides of Jack's arms. Jack shivered at the touch. It was like being touched by his lover's ghost. He gently removed the hands and put them back down by Daniel's sides.
'Yes Daniel, very different. The thing is, um, here you and I are... well, we're kinda close... very close friends, more than close really, very, very close friends.' Jack was getting flustered.
'We are lovers,' Daniel leaned in and whispered close to his cheek.
'We?' breathed Jack.
'You and I Jack, in both our worlds.' Daniel's warm breath fluttered against his cheek. Jack felt the familiar stirrings in his groin that his Daniel could always induce with a mere glance in his direction, let alone standing so close to him, he just had to turn his head and their lips would brush together.... Enough! Jack told himself. Even though this is also Daniel, it would be disloyal to 'his' Daniel, wouldn't it? It wouldn't feel right, his common sense told him even as his groin told him it felt exactly right. Jack resisted.
'What do you want from me?' he asked the young man in front of him, his voice heavy with desire.
Daniel grinned impishly and Jack felt his resolve weaken along with his knees. Surely he could be forgiven for giving a few moments of pleasure to a dying man who was really the same person as his lover...
'I just wanted to make sure I was right. I am sure now.' Daniel stepped back. 'I'm assuming you have security cameras in here.'
Jack gulped. Geez, what he had been about to do... what Daniel did to him! Realistically, Jack knew that there would come a day when his and Daniel's relationship was discovered at the SGC and it wouldn't be Daniel who let it slip. It's just when it came to his handsome young lover, Jack's discretion flew out the window. He was forever jumping down Daniel's throat for imagined indiscretions when it was Jack himself who was being too obvious.
Daniel took his hand firmly in his cool grasp. 'I have to go now.'
Jack swallowed and nodded. 'I'll just stay here for a little bit, I think...' Jack's hand tightened around Daniel's. He really didn't want to let him go. Daniel nodded.
He gently removed his hand from Jack's grasp and brushed passed him walking towards the door, the faint swish of his robes and the hiss of the door easing shut behind him.
Jack crumpled into a chair. What he really wanted to do was put his arms down on the table and rest his head on them and... well.. cry. Either that or punch something, but he was a Colonel in the United States Airforce and he didn't do things like that. So instead he sat still, virtually smiling for the cameras, whilst on the inside he was breaking up. Jack didn't know why he should feel this way. It wasn't as if 'his' Daniel was dying. He only knew he hadn't felt so sad since the first time he visited his son's grave.
In the silence of the meeting room, Jack wished Daniel a safe journey.
~~~
Daniel couldn't remember leaving the SGC. He couldn't remember the drive home or walking up the stairs to his apartment. He'd done all that on automatic, his rage counting the steps for him. But now he was inside his apartment, standing in his lounge-room, wondering what the hell he was going to do.
Seeking comfort in the familiar, Daniel hazily walked into his kitchen and turned on the coffee maker. He leant his forehead against the fridge, trying to block out the ache in his head - that was the ache he could at least do something about.
Rage wasn't a familiar emotion to Daniel. He felt it only occasionally and under extreme provocation. He liked it to be justifiable. He didn't like to think of himself as an angry type of man. He'd felt like this maybe half a dozen times in his life. When he saw what Apophis had done to Sha're, when the sound frequencies on the plant planet started killing that race of gentle people and messing with his head, when Apophis was there in the SGC's own infirmary, when Teal'c killed Sha're, once in the first month after his parents died and once when he was eleven and he'd seen his foster brother kill a cat in their garden. Those times were justifiable weren't they? Any normal person would have felt the same combination of helplessness, fear, powerlessness and hatred. And rage.
But that was exactly what he felt now, and it definitely wasn't justifiable. A dying man just trying to save his son from the same fate. Or worse. No one else in that meeting became angry, they all had the very appropriate reactions of sympathy, pity, compassion. Daniel tried so hard to analyze his own reaction. The fridge was cool against his flushed skin. A cold shower, that might work. At least give him a chance to calm down and think this through rationally. He really didn't like feeling this way. Daniel was by nature, a gentle man.
He ignored the hissing coffee maker and started stripping off his clothes as he stumbled towards the bathroom. By the time he reached the shower cubicle he was naked. Daniel paused to take off his glasses and leave them on the shelf over the sink. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. It wasn't a pretty sight.
His eyes were rimmed with red where he had been crying. His hair was askew and his skin looked as if he could use a good sleep, not for the first time he felt a twinge of dislike for the man in the mirror. This mirror.
Daniel drew back the sliding door and stepped into the shower. The blast of cold water was the sharp shock he had been longing for. He tilted his face up to the shower rose and let the jets of water beat down on his eyes and cheeks. An old, old memory unfolded and stretched in the hidden recesses of his mind. He was six. His father was holding the watering can above his head, pouring the precious water down onto his son. Daniel was laughing and trying to catch the drops before they fell on his upturned face. Some fell in his mouth and they tasted sweet in the hot Egyptian sun. His legs were dusty with sand and his bare chest tanned from years spent in the desert climate.
Daniel closed his eyes as he let the long-forgotten memory wash over him, but, as always, he couldn't stop it there. He remembered when the water had run out and his father put down the can, patted his son on the head and walked away. Daniel was left to look after himself in an empty tent, his parents both out on the dig, doing too many far more important things to bother with their son. He remembered hiding from the market boys who yelled insults that his parents didn't understand but Daniel did. He remembered long airless days with only books for company. Daniel wished, not for the first time, that he could only have good memories of his parents. It seemed such an awful, ungrateful thing for him to always bring up their faults when they were dead and never had a chance to make it better. Daniel wondered if deep down he was actually a pretty terrible person. These self doubts had always plagued him, it seemed he was always trying to atone for them by doing what seemed to be the 'right' thing, the 'good' thing, what a compassionate person would do. When he felt this rage, it always occurred to him that maybe this was the real heart of Daniel Jackson. That scared him.
It was always Jack who brought him back when he ran from himself. Jack who had unquestioning faith in him as a human being. Jack who believed he was the conscience, the soul of the team, a title Daniel would never accept he deserved. Daniel rested his forehead against the shower wall. He wanted Jack now. He wanted Jack there to hold him and reassure him that it was okay to be angry, that he still a good person underneath. He wanted Jack's strong arms there, supporting him, keeping him upright lest he fall into that dark hole again.
Daniel wrapped his own arms around himself, but they were a poor substitute. Wasn't it about time he started to get himself through these moments? He was a grown man for cryin' out loud. It was about time he stopped running to Jack for affirmation. Wasn't that why he had walked away from Jack's comforting embrace in the corridor of the SGC? It was time he learnt the truth about himself, time he saw just how far he could fall, and whether he had the will to climb back out himself. It was crazy, here he was, a grown man of thirty four, and he was still looking for a father. A father with a perpetually full watering can.
Daniel turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. He was shivering with cold but he didn't reach for a towel. He walked straight down the hall into his bedroom and climbed into bed, not caring that he made the sheets damp. The coldness was comforting. Appropriate. He curled up on his side and stared at the wall.
~~~
Colonel Jack O'Neill strode down to the infirmary. At this moment, he was fully composed. Maybe later, when he got to Daniel's place, he would let himself release some of the emotions he'd been experiencing today, but for now there was duty to attend to.
He strode into the infirmary. Major Carter and Dr Fraiser were standing by one of the beds. On the bed sat the child, relieved of his heavy robes and as naked as the day he was born. Jack felt his composure begin to crack.
The child was the very image of Daniel. Physically, he was dark like Sha're, with downy black hair lightly covering his head. But his eyes were large and blue and they darted all over the place, just like Daniel's, trying to make sense of the world around him and eager to absorb everything. Devouring the world and begging for more. His posture was all Daniel too. The little boy sat up straight and alert, his hands reaching out, inquisitive fingers gently touching Dr Fraiser's stethoscope, without the slight hesitance experience had ingrained in his father. He pulled at some instrument on Dr Fraiser's tray when she wasn't looking and visibly jumped, looking up guiltily with startled blue eyes, when the metal instrument clattered to the floor. Yep, though Jack, just like Daniel.
Janet and Sam were so busy doting over the child, they didn't even turn around when Jack stepped up to the bed.
'Didn't pick you for the maternal type Carter,' Jack quipped.
Sam and Janet looked up. 'Who me sir? You're the one who just volunteered for instant fatherhood.'
'He's just on loan Carter.' Jack looked at the child who was staring at him wide-eyed. 'Just until Daniel gets used to the idea.'
Janet looked concerned. 'What if he doesn't get used to the idea Colonel? It is not SG-1's role to collect orphans from across the universe.'
Jack couldn't believe he was hearing this from Dr Fraiser of all people. 'Then we'll find a home for him. I would have thought you would understand Dr Fraiser, that we couldn't condemn this child to almost certain death.'
The boy chose that moment to reach out and grab hold of Jack's shirt. Carter smiled.
'I think he likes you sir.'
'Yeah, well.., I'm a likeable kinda guy. How long do we have to keep him here in the infirmary?'
Dr Fraiser started pulling some baby clothes out of a plastic bag. 'Well, I'd like to be one hundred percent certain he isn't infected with this Goa'uld sickness and I'll need some time to devise an accurate test. So I'd expect to keep him here at least a week and then if he turns out to be healthy, well, we'll go from there.'
Carter ruffled his hair. 'He seems pretty healthy.' She turned to Jack. 'How do you think Daniel is doing? He looked pretty upset when he walked out. Maybe I should go over to his place and make sure he's okay.'
'No Carter, it's alright, I'm heading over there now, I'll check on him.'
'Well, if you're sure sir...'
'Trust me Carter, Daniel just needs a little time to get used to the idea. You heard the man, I possess the necessary sensitivity to convince him of anything.' Jack raised an eyebrow.
'And what if you don't Colonel?'
'You doubting me Carter?'
~~~
When Jack reached Daniel's apartment all the lights were off and his knock went unanswered. Luckily, he had his own key, he just didn't like walking straight in like he owned the place. Although he and Daniel had been together a few months, they were still working out the boundaries of the relationship.
The lounge-room and kitchen were dark and silent but for the hissing of the coffee machine which Jack immediately went over to and switched off. He turned on the lights, closed the curtains and noticed on the floor the debris from Daniel's traveling strip. He followed the trail of clothes to the bathroom and peeked in. No Daniel.
Finally Jack tried the bedroom. When he opened the door he immediately picked out the outline of Daniel's huddled form under the blankets on the far side of the bed, curled up with his back to the door.
'Daniel,' whispered Jack. No answer. 'Daniel?'
Jack walked over to the bed and sat down on what he had rapidly come to think of as 'his' side.
'Daniel, we need to talk.' He laid a hand on the sheets covering the still form. They were cold and damp. He pulled back the sheet from Daniel's shoulder and felt the man's skin. It was clammy. 'Geez Daniel, you trying to make yourself sick?'
'Go away Jack,' came the muffled reply.
'Look at me Daniel.' The younger man made no attempt at movement. 'Alright, have it your way.' Jack got up, walked around the bed and squatted down next to Daniel's side.
Daniel was wide awake, the sheets drawn right up, cocooning him against the world.
Jack resisted the urge to lay a hand on his cheek, realizing that Daniel was in no mood for human contact, even if he was.
'Daniel, we need to talk about this.'
'Jack, I don't want that child to come anywhere near me.'
'Daniel listen...'
'No Jack, you listen. It was another me, in another universe, who chose to become a father. I did not choose that path, okay. I made that decision a long time ago. If you want to take on that child, that's your decision, but I don't want it anywhere near me.'
Jack was silent. He had no idea what was going on with Daniel but he had one last card to play tonight and then he would give them both a little space. He hoped it would work because he really didn't want to spend tonight alone. He wanted Daniel's arms wrapped around him, the warmth of his lover's thigh lying next to his, the scent of Daniel in his sheets. The meeting with the visitor today had made clear to him how precious their time together was and he didn't want to waste a single night.
'Daniel, I never thought I'd be the one saying this to you, but show a little compassion. That child is an orphan now, whether he knows it or not. Questions will come later and you are the person most equipped to help him deal with the trauma he will go through. You've been there Daniel. Don't you want to make it a little easier for someone else?'
Daniel's voice was harsh in reply. 'That's exactly why I can't do it Jack. Would you want to play counselor to another guy who's kid shot himself with his own gun?'
Daniel rolled over and turned his back to his lover. Jack could not have felt worse if Daniel had spat in his face. He stumbled to his feet and left the room. There was nothing more to be said.
~~~
Jack threw himself down on Daniel's couch. There was no way he could drive home now, he was so angry he'd probably drive right up the back of a bus.
Where did Daniel get off talking to him like that? Jack was only trying to help him and he just shoved it all back in his face. He tried to feel sympathy for his lover, he really did. It must have been a huge shock to meet an alternate version of himself, one which made him feel so inadequate and one which had asked so much of him. But Jack had taken on the burden, he had offered to take the kid and damnit, if Daniel wasn't prepared to be a father to it then Jack damn well would!
He'd done it before, he could do it again. The catch was, it could very well mean losing Daniel, and Jack wasn't sure whether he could survive that.
Jack's eyes roamed around Daniel's lounge-room, looking for something to take his mind off the choices which were giving him grief. Ever since he'd become closer to Daniel, Jack had spent more and more time in this strange apartment. His own house Jack considered to be Daniel's as much as his, it was just a house after all. But this apartment was always clearly marked down as Daniel's domain. Jack found it hard to feel comfortable here without the presence of Daniel to distract him. To be frank he found it a little creepy, all these statues and trinkets, leering down from shelves, overflowing bookcases, too many books not in English, too many books full stop, a kinda musty, museum smell, no TV. But the creepiest aspect was that although it was crammed full of Daniel-type things, antiques, trinkets, junk - there was nothing very personal. No photos, no trophies, no lists of phone numbers stuck to the fridge, no mugs with goofy mottos, no reminder boards, none of the stuff which made a house seem homey.
Jack heaved himself up off the couch and started to have a nosey around. There had to be something around which could give him a clue to Daniel's state of mind. He started with the book shelves. Dozens of heavy tomes concerning various ancient worlds, leather-bound antique volumes, dog-eared philosophy paperbacks, sci-fi novels (Jack stored that one away for future reference. He resolved to casually slip a video of Star Trek on the next time Daniel was suffering through watching the game with him on a Saturday afternoon, just to see what would happen).
But no photo albums, no bundles of letters, no postcards used as book marks. Jack moved on to the shelves of trinkets. He gently prised open intricately carved chests and painted boxes, most were empty, a few held more junk. With each item Jack mentally mapped the journeys that Daniel must have made in his life before joining the SGC. Here was something from Egypt, there was something which looked Latin American, here was an Indonesian mask, there was a Masai necklace. Jack felt like the whole world was watching him go through Daniel's stuff. So he stopped, feeling more than a little ashamed to be rifling through his lover's life. But how else was he going to find out how to get through to the idiot geek? Trouble was, Daniel wore his morals on his sleeve most of the time and if he felt someone needed help or a situation needed rectifying, he was damn well going to make sure the whole team knew it, but he was also very good at hiding his own feelings and troubles. It scared Jack when he felt powerless to help the one he loved.
In the corridor that afternoon he had just sat there whilst Daniel worked himself up into a rage, because he didn't know what words to say to make it all better. He'd thought he did, but it seemed Daniel found the idea of Jack bringing up the child almost as abhorrent as taking the child himself. Jack had been at a loss, he had no control over the situation. Usually he liked that with Daniel. The way the younger, more passionate man could, with one look, one touch, make him lose all control of his own inhibitions, make him crave insatiably, make him hungry. Daniel was the only person to whom he could relinquish all control and not care if he got it back in one piece afterwards.
If only he could find the key to unlocking Daniel's control, to getting Daniel to trust him so completely that the man would let Jack help him work through his demons.
Funny way to get a guy's trust Jack, snooping through his stuff. Jack's face burned red and he was overcome with hopelessness, loving Daniel was a complicated thing. He thumped the flat of his hand against the wall. It shook the bookcase and for one awful second Jack thought the whole lot was going to come tumbling down on top of him.
As he put out his hands to steady the shelves, an object caught the corner of Jack's eye. At last, a photograph! Wedged down between the shelf and the wall as if it had fallen down and Daniel hadn't missed it enough to rescue it.
Jack carefully eased it out. It was a little creased and faded but the image was still powerful. A man in Egyptian dress, but clearly not Egyptian by race, crouched down by a rectangular hole in the orange dirt. His head was bent over the hole, his face obscured by a large sunhat. He was pointing at a half uncovered object in the bottom of the hole. Squatting by his side was his pupil. A little boy of no more than five or six, in faded shorts with bare feet and long, sun-bleached, fly-away hair. The boy was not looking in the direction his teacher was pointing. He was staring at the man's hidden face. The boy's features were clear and open. He gazed at the man with idolising, admiring eyes. At once Jack knew this man could do no wrong in the boy's eyes. A hesitant smile played on the lips of the child, as if he wanted to please but wasn't quite sure how to do it. Jack felt as if he had stumbled on something intensely private which he had no business looking at.
'Why are you still here?' A sleepy voice from the doorway. Jack hastily tucked the photograph inside his jacket and turned around.
Daniel was standing there, completely naked and blinking owlishly in the sudden light.
'I heard a bang.'
'It was the bookcase,' Jack gripped the shelf for support. How was it Daniel could look this good having just woken up? And he wasn't even aware of it, that was half the trouble. 'You know me and bookcases, we don't see eye to eye.' Jack cursed inwardly. Daniel was giving him the old 'don't give me that bullshit' look.
Daniel leaned tiredly against the doorway.
'Jack please, I think we need some time out, don't you? Why don't you go home?'
'I'd rather talk, if you're ready now.' Jack moved over to the couch and sat down. He patted the cushion invitingly. Daniel eyed him suspiciously.
'I thought you'd be ready to knock my block off for that crack about the counselling.'
Jack winced at the memory. The problem with letting people get under your skin so completely was that it also gave them the power to hurt you more than anyone else ever could.
'It was a low blow Daniel, but you've had a rough day so.... Let's just start again huh?' Jack wasn't going to beg but he would give Daniel one last chance to open up here and now. Daniel remained in the doorway. He hugged his arms around himself and stayed silent. Jack took a deep breath.
'Okay, if that's where you feel comfortable.... Daniel, I'm just going to come right out and ask you straight. Why are you so against being some sort of guardian to this child?'
'Why are you so keen on being a father to it?' Daniel shot back, his eyes flaring up again. He took a step back into the shadows of the hallway.
Jack had not expected his question to be answered with a question, and particularly not that question.
'What do you mean Daniel?'
The voice came from the shadows, low and controlled. 'I mean, you find it very difficult to accept my personal choice not to desire a dependent, but you seem unnaturally keen to take this burden on yourself. I'm wondering why? That's all, it's a simple question, much more simple than the one you asked me.'
Desire a dependent? Take this burden? Daniel was calling it everything but what it was. A child, an orphan. Jack swallowed hard. If this was what it took then so be it, he could bare his soul to the man he loved. 'I've been a father before Daniel. I loved it, my son was the most important thing in my life for ten years. It was the making of me and so when he died, it destroyed me. I miss Charlie and I always will, but I also miss the every-day reality of being a Dad. You don't know what you're missing Daniel.' The last bit had slipped out before Jack could catch it. He wasn't having a good day as far as saying the right thing was concerned.
The man in the shadows heaved a sigh. Jack heard the heavy footsteps move down the hall and the door to Daniel's bedroom close with a resounding thump.
Jack decided, better late than never, that he should probably go home. Before leaving he slipped the key off his key ring and left it sitting on the kitchen tabletop. He closed the door behind him, knowing he could not return now without an invitation from the occupant and that didn't look likely.
~~~
When Daniel woke up the next morning he felt very cold. He'd grown used to sleeping with Jack's warm body next to him. Funny how quickly a person forgets what it's like to sleep alone, even if you've lived that way most of your life. He rolled out of bed and groped for his glasses on the floor.
Dragging his robe around himself, Daniel shuffled out into the lounge where weak sunlight filtered through the crack in the curtains. Who had drawn those curtains? It hadn't been Daniel, he always left curtains to their own devices. It dawned on him that it must have been Jack when he came in last night. Daniel felt a twinge of affection for how Jack had started implementing little changes in Daniel's lifestyle since they had become lovers. Just small things, such as leaving 'his' glass at Daniel's place because the scientist never had glasses big enough to hold an entire bottle of Jack's favourite beer. Or drawing the curtains at night and opening them in the morning, or keeping books off the couch and on the table so that there was enough space for two people to sit down. Just small things, but things which had begun to feel natural to Daniel. He knew Jack didn't feel entirely comfortable at his apartment which was why they spent much more time at Jack's place. So he had been glad when Jack had made attempts at 'personalising' Daniel's abode.
He shuffled through to the kitchen and was about to start making coffee when he noticed a small silver object sitting on the counter. The spare key to his place which he had given Jack straight after they got together, even though last night was the first time his lover had used it.
He picked it up and rubbed it between his fingers. It seemed Jack had made his decision. At least that saved Daniel the trouble of pushing Jack away so he could work through this on his own - no sense in pushing someone who's running in the opposite direction as fast as they can. Now he really would learn if he could survive on his own.
~~~
When Colonel Jack O'Neill arrived bright and early at the SGC, the first place he went was the infirmary.
He was surprised to find Carter and Teal'c already there, standing with Dr Fraiser, chatting and watching the child at play through an observation window. As Jack walked up, Dr Fraiser was speaking.
'Developmentally he's pretty forward for what we would expect from a child his age. He's alert and conscious of his world and seems fairly inquisitive by nature...'
'Of course he is, he's got the space-monkey genes hasn't he?' Jack stood next to the group and looked through the glass. Dr Fraiser gave him a careful look.
'I didn't want to assume that the universe he comes from is physiologically identical to ours, quite apart from the fact that he is genetically half Abydonian.'
'The people of Abydos were human too Dr Fraiser, so was the 'other' Daniel, come to that.' Jack was impatient with all this 'testing.' It was quite obvious that this was just a normal kid, well . . as normal as offspring from Daniel Jackson could be, give or take a few neuroses.
Carter turned to Jack and smiled. 'You're really keen for Daniel to take him on aren't you Colonel?'
'I just think it's a pretty simple equation that's all. Kid has no parents, kid needs a home, kid happens to share genes with a member of SG-1, kid could be looked after by said member, said member could benefit if he would only open his eyes a little.'
'I do not believe it is that simple O'Neill,' spoke Teal'c. 'On Chu'lak adoption can be a very complicated process. I understand that it may be the same here on Earth. It is also a lifelong commitment.'
'But we're not really talking about adoption here Teal'c. This kid is genetically Daniel's son.'
Teal'c nodded to show that he accepted this reasoning. 'However, Daniel Jackson has not chosen to become a father.'
'Daniel will change his mind, believe me, I'm working on it.'
'Why is it so important to you O'Neill, that Daniel Jackson accept this child?'
Jack balked at facing this question for the second time in 24 hours. He turned from Teal'c's seemingly omnipotent gaze and pressed his forehead up against the glass. The child was playing with some colourful building blocks. He wasn't adept at constructing a tower yet and looked puzzled every time his creation tumbled over. Jack smiled. 'I guess I remember how great it was to be a dad and I don't want Daniel to miss out on that experience.'
'But it is still Daniel Jackson's choice.'
Of course Jack knew that. He was just going to give it his best shot that was all.
But then Carter had to put her two cents in.
'Sir, did you mean it when you said you would take the child until such time as Daniel changes his mind, if in fact he ever does?'
'Of course I meant it Carter. You don't make promises to a dying man you don't intend to keep.'
'I was just wondering how much of you wanted this child for Daniel and how much of you wanted it for you, sir.'
'Carter you've been reading too many psycho-babble journals.'
'Actually, sir I do have a qualification in psychology as I think I've told you before. But I also have good observational skills...'
'Is that so Carter, maybe you could employ them in your work a little more often...'
Janet tapped on the glass and waved to the child. 'Actually, I think the two year old in there is acting a lot more adult than the people out here. Don't you have another planet to explore or something?' She walked into the room and picked up the child.
Teal'c raised an eyebrow.
Carter looked suitable chastened.
'Has anybody actually seen Daniel today?' Jack thought he would try to have another talk to the space-monkey before they gated out later that morning.
'I believe he is in his office O'Neill. I spoke with him earlier.'
Jack didn't want to know what Teal'c and Daniel had found to talk about. Well, no, he did want to know because he assumed it was concerning him. He knew that Carter and Teal'c knew about him and Daniel. But the good thing about the closeness of their team was that no one had had to come out and say it in the open. They all just carried on as usual.
Jack headed down to Daniel's lab.
~~~
Occasionally, Jack felt that he was unintentionally given a glimpse of the mental inner sanctum of Daniel Jackson. It wasn't something he looked for specifically, but sometimes it fell in his lap and he wasn't about to ignore what he learned in those moments. It could happen when they were in bed together, Daniel asleep and Jack wide awake, watching the expressions on his lover's face as he moved through a dream. It had happened a couple of times when Jack had become aware of Daniel staring at him as they watched ice hockey, or rather, Jack watched ice hockey and Daniel watched him. Sometimes when they had just had really intense sex, a post-orgasmic Daniel would be so relaxed he would let things slip, little snippets of memories that Jack catalogued and kept safe should Daniel ever need them.
This morning he was awarded with another.
When Jack reached the open door of Daniel's lab, he pulled up sharply and stayed in the doorway.
Daniel was pulling books off his storage shelves, one by one, flipping through them and casting them aside rapidly. He kept running his hands over the higher shelves he couldn't see onto without something to stand on. After a minute of this he bent down and started madly rummaging through boxes of files and documents, not caring whether things were put back in their rightful place. He ran his hands through his hair in a frustrated fashion.
'Lost something?' Jack stepped into the office. He tried to keep his tone light and friendly.
Daniel dropped the file he was holding and spun around to face the door, his face was a picture of panic. Jack surmised that it must be something pretty important.
Then the wall went up and the scientist became 'casual Daniel' again.
'Oh no, not really, just a report I thought I'd filed here but it must be at home. Damn!'
Oh Daniel, that line doesn't fool an old hand like me, Jack thought, I know you never give two hoots about where your reports end up just so long as you don't have to spend more than half an hour writing them.
Jack stepped up to the flustered man and put a hand on his shoulder fully expecting it to be shaken off. It wasn't.
'Will you be right to go on this mission today?'
Daniel heaved a sigh and slipped gracefully from Jack's care. 'Sure, I'm fine. Always up for a bit of interplanetary travel.' He didn't even attempt to smile at his own weak quip.
'Daniel,' Jack blocked the escape route to the door. Daniel took a defensive position behind his desk. For cryin' out loud, thought Jack, when did they start employing tactical maneuvers when holding a conversation? Had the barriers really been built that fast since last night? 'Daniel, we need to talk. Will you come back to my place tonight? Please.'
Daniel looked down and fiddled with a journal on his desk. 'Jack, I don't think there's any point. I won't change my mind on this matter. I'd prefer it of course if you didn't believe I was some terrible, heartless monster for making this decision, but your intention tonight would not be to try to understand my point of view, would it? It would be to try to bring me around to the choice you think I should make.'
'Well obviously Daniel!' Jack nearly exploded. 'You haven't thought about this at all. You didn't even stick around to hear what your 'other' self had to request. You just assumed he was going to ask you to adopt his child. Didn't you! Didn't you?'
Daniel rose to the bait. 'Of course, and that's what he did ask didn't he.'
'No Daniel, he didn't. Actually he asked me to take the kid. He knew you'd never agree.' Jack tried to keep any sense of triumph out of his voice - for this to work Daniel had to believe he was getting the full version.
Daniel left the journal alone and looked up in surprise. 'You? He asked you instead of me?'
'Apparently things were more similar in his universe than we thought,' Jack raised his eyebrows to make sure Daniel got the message, 'he asked me because he trusted me.' Well, that was true, it just wasn't the whole truth, Jack knew he was treading a fine line here.
Daniel sank into his chair. He ran his hand through his hair. 'Why would I ask you?' He sounded extremely perplexed. 'I knew I, he, was going to ask me, that's what I would've...' He looked up at Jack, his soft blue eyes suddenly stricken with a revelation. 'I don't even trust myself,' he blurted out. 'I don't even trust myself.' He repeated in a quieter tone.
Hang on, thought Jack, that wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to come to that conclusion, it was just meant to take the pressure off for a bit, maybe raise a bit of the green eyed monster so he would start to realise what he was missing out on... Jack mentally slapped himself around the head. What a shmuck he was to think he could try to predict the twists and turns of Daniel's inner logic! Jack resolved then and there he was not going to attempt emotional manipulation again except when strictly supervised by Carter.
'Whoa just a second, Daniel, I don't think that was what you, he, the 'other' Daniel meant.'
Daniel put his head in his hands. 'Of course it was Jack. I know myself better than anyone. There's no way I would trust myself to raise a child.' He was almost lost now. Jack tried frantically to think of a way to reach this desolate man and pull him back from the brink.
'Come on, the very fact that you think like that is evidence that you probably would make a good parent. Too many people jump in without comprehending the enormity of the commitment.'
Daniel gave a short mirthless laugh. 'You think this is just nerves Jack? You think I'm just scared of the commitment?' He lifted his head and looked at the man who stood before him. He reached out and grabbed hold of Jack's hand. 'Jack, maybe those were the fears you had for impending fatherhood when you and Sara made that decision. But you grew up with a mother and a father and a white picket fence and a dog that came when you called his name in the yard after school. The only worries you had were whether you could live up to the example set by your own parents. Am I right Jack?'
Jack felt way out of his depth. He knew he was about to learn something about Daniel he wasn't particularly well-equipped to deal with.
Daniel gripped his hand tightly like a lifeline. He stared at their hand linked together, as if he didn't know how to let go. He licked his dry lips and raised those sad blue eyes to gaze into Jack's worried brown ones.
'Jack, he did exactly the right thing. I'm the last person who should look after that child. I don't know what a father is.'
~~~
A quick knock on the door of the lab and then Carter poked her head in. 'Daniel, mission briefing in half an hour, oh!' She quickly took in the scene of Daniel sitting at his desk clutching the hand of Jack who wore an expression like Daniel had just confessed to killing small animals in his spare time. 'Oh, sorry, I didn't realise...' she tried to back out as quickly as possible.
'Carter, it's alright,' called Jack wearily. 'Carter?'
She poked her head back around the door. 'Yes, Colonel?'
Jack looked into Daniel's eyes. They begged him to give some sort of sign, to let the man in front of him know Jack didn't think him a freak.
'We'll be there in a minute.'
She grinned. 'You've got thirty of them Sir, I always give Daniel a bit of advance warning so he can get there on time.' She disappeared from the doorway.
Jack turned back to Daniel, who had let go of his hand and was hugging his arms around himself in that classic Daniel defensive posture.
'Daniel, I can...'
But Daniel didn't let him finish. He rocked once and then shot up from his desk and started pacing around. Jack was getting a sense of déjà vu. 'Why did you let me think that I was the one he asked to take the kid? For a whole day and night! Why would you do something so cruel?'
'Daniel I never said it was down to you alone!' This was really not going how Jack had planned. He despaired of ever reconciling with Daniel completely. 'We can do this together!'
Daniel stopped by his bookshelf. He rubbed his hand over the spines of the ancient texts as if seeking physical comfort from the things he could always rely on. As quickly as his rage developed so it was spent. 'Jack, you'd better go and get ready for this mission. I've got some stuff to prepare.' Jack stood by the desk, not moving.
'Just go Jack. Someone like you cannot help me.'
Jack thumped the desk once to ease his frustration, then he stormed out the door.
Daniel Jackson slipped to the floor. He tucked up his knees to his chest and rested his forehead on his arms. It was not getting any easier.
~~~
It was meant to be a fairly simple recon mission to a world which had previously been inhabited but was now just a small collection of ruined temples and villages. It was suspected the Goa'uld had plundered this world and taken the people as hosts. SG-1 were just there to take a look at a few murals in the temples which an earlier exploratory SG team had identified, and get back in time for supper as it were. Jack liked these kinds of missions every once in a while - it broke up the monotony of 'arrive in a world, save the inhabitants from the vile Goa'uld and get the hell outa dodge' kinda scenarios.
So here he was, passing the time in a big old temple watching Daniel make scratchings on his notepad while Teal'c and Carter scouted around the hills. Jack leaned against a pillar and propped his feet up on one of the big old stone tablets scattered around on the floor. He watched Daniel at work. He'd been very quiet so far, head down , straight to work kind of thing, for once not even attempting to convince anyone of the significance of the pictographs covering the walls. As if he'd finally realised the fruitlessness of the exercise.
Jack gazed at the hunched over form through half-closed eyes, observing the way the man rocked back on his heels every now and again to contemplate, then ducked his head and crouched over, furiously scribbling answers and notes. There was something calming about the reliable regularity of the sequence of movements. He used the time to think about what he would say if Daniel actually did as he had asked and arrived at his house that night, ready to talk. He seriously doubted if that would happen but if the opportunity presented itself, Jack was damn sure he was going to say the right thing this time.
As much as he hated to admit it, Carter had been spot on when she had asked him that morning about his motivations for getting Daniel to accept the child. Okay, he could admit that maybe the idea having the junior space-monkey hang around permanently appealed to him because it would give him a chance to do all the stuff he'd missed since Charlie had died, and because, though for all the world he would not let Carter know this, he really enjoyed being a father. So maybe he was influenced ever so slightly by his own desires. But a large part of it was also that he just reckoned a space-monkey kid needed a space-monkey father and that kid was Daniel through and through. Who else was going to understand him? If he could just get Daniel to see that, maybe then they could work through the other stuff together. The one thing Jack knew for sure was that he didn't want to risk losing his lover over this. Maybe he should give the 'softly, softly' approach another go? Forget about who was going to take the kid for a while and concentrate on getting Daniel to just go and see him at least. Maybe once Daniel got to know the kid he'd see how alike they were...
Jack was startled out of his musings by Daniel suddenly, snapping closed his notebook, standing up and dusting off his trousers.
'All done then?' Jack hopped down off the tablet he'd been resting on. Daniel shrugged. 'I need a bit of fresh air. I'm going out to take a break and work out whether it's worth our while coming back for another mission.' He shuffled out of the temple into the bright sunlight. Jack followed him.
Exiting the temple he found Daniel already ensconced on a low stone wall flipping through his notes. Jack heaved himself up on the wall next to the silent man and kicked his feet casually against the stones. Daniel didn't look up.
Jack sighed and reached into his interior jacket pocket, meaning to take out his own notebook (two could play at that game and Jack was sure he could find something worthwhile to write down - like his shopping list maybe), but his fingers felt something thin and smooth. It was the photo he had taken from Daniel's apartment. He'd meant to slip it onto Daniel's desk some time today, since he wasn't going to get a chance to return it to his apartment. Jack had decided that the best tactic would be subterfuge and then the 'plead dumb ignorance' routine which was always Jack's specialty. Now a thought occurred to him.
Slowly he slipped the photo out of his pocket and held it in his hands in front of him. He pretended to study it, tilting it ever so slightly in Daniel's direction. It wasn't long before the space-monkey's natural curiosity got the better of him. Oh, Jack knew Daniel too well. What'sa matter Daniel? Didn't you ever hear that curiosity killed the cat? Jack pretended not to notice as Daniel took a sly sideways peek.
'Where the hell did you get that?!' Daniel exploded and nearly fell off the wall. He grabbed onto the stones to steady himself and lost hold of his notebook in the process. But he took no notice of the papers scattering all over the ground. He snatched the photo from Jack's hands. 'I was looking everywhere for that this morning and all the time you had it!'
Well, that opened a can of worms didn't it, Jack silently congratulated himself.
'Oh, I rescued it from being eaten by your bookcase last night. Gotta watch those things Daniel, bookcases have a very nasty and vindictive streak. Must have slipped it into my pocket by accident for safe keeping. I was going to return it to you today but, you know, you had other things on your mind...' Jack tried hard to keep it casual.
Daniel narrowed his eyes. 'For safe keeping by accident. Right.'
Not much gets by you does it Danny-boy. Jack shoved his hands in his pockets. 'So why were you looking for it today? Considering where I found it I would've guessed you hadn't looked at it for a very long time.'
Daniel sighed and rubbed his thumb across the image, trying to smooth out the creases. 'I thought it might help you try to understand me.'
'A picture may be worth a thousand words Daniel, but in this case I'd go for the words.'
Daniel held the photo back in front of Jack's view. 'What do you get from looking at that picture? What would you say about the relationship between those two people?'
Jack paused to think carefully about his choice of words before speaking. 'I'd say the boy thinks a lot of the man. I'd say he really admires him and wants to please him.'
Daniel made no reaction to this. 'And what about the man?'
Jack didn't know quite what to say, the man's face was obscured.
'Would you say perhaps, that he was very involved in his work?'
Jack considered this. 'Maybe,' he conceded.
Daniel studied the photo himself. 'This is a photo of me and my father,' he said finally.
'Yeah, no kidding Daniel I'd kinda guessed that.' Jack cursed his quick mouth.
But Daniel didn't seem annoyed by the sarcasm, more amused really. 'It's funny really, because if I didn't know better I wouldn't have come to that conclusion. I would have said a teacher and his student.'
Jack was taken aback by this accurate description of his first interpretation when he had seen the photo back in Daniel's apartment.
Daniel continued. 'I don't remember this photo being taken.' He sounded as if he thought this was a personal failing on his behalf.
'You look pretty young Daniel.' As always, Jack tried to provide his friend with some reassurance, even if it hardly ever came out like it was supposed to sound.
Daniel licked his lips and hesitated. 'I have memories from an earlier age than that Jack, it's just that they're all the same.'
'What do you mean?'
'It's only the bad stuff. They start off good and then turn bad and I can't stop myself from thinking that way.' Daniel now sounded very distressed. His voice was shaky and Jack guessed that the old 'Daniel defense mechanism' was going to kick in shortly if he didn't say something soon.
'I'm not sure I understand what you mean Daniel.'
Daniel sighed again and struggled to control his voice. 'I don't have many memories of my parents. Those I do recall always start off good, but then I remember the rest of it. The neglect, the preoccupation with whatever dig we were living at, the loneliness. It isn't right that I should only remember the bad stuff when they never had a chance to make it up to me. All my thoughts of them are tarnished in some way. It makes me angry that I can't seem to change this. That's why I wanted you to see this, so I could tell you what I saw in it. I thought then maybe you'd understand a little, why I don't want the same things you want.'
Jack took a little while to absorb this information. Daniel waited in silence for a minute, then slipped off the wall and began gathering up his notes. Jack jumped down and helped him. They both reached for the same paper at once and as they stood up Jack handed the paper to the scientist.
'I think I'm beginning to understand Daniel. Can we talk about this some more, tonight maybe?' Jack was so happy to be making headway, he didn't want to risk spoiling it now by saying too much. Daniel nodded, looking slightly happier.
Jack was just about to suggest they start packing up and preparing to leave when his radio crackled. It was Carter. Something unusual was afoot in the ruined village and required the colonel's immediate attention.
~~~
When Colonel O'Neill and Dr Jackson arrived in the village ruins where Carter and Teal'c had registered their location, the men were astounded by the sight which greeted them. The village which had not half and hour ago been deserted ruins was a bustling, working market town. The buildings were miraculously repaired, there were people everywhere going about their daily tasks - men driving carts, children hauling water buckets, small boys selling fruits - and the population appeared to have swelled from zero to the size of a small township. There in amongst the market place were Carter and Teal'c standing with bemused expressions. Carter was attempting to talk to a woman passing by with a tray of bread but she was summarily ignored.
'Well, this is... unusual,' mused Jack as he and Daniel approached. Carter saw them and she and Teal'c hastened over to the men standing on the periphery of the village.
As Carter and Teal'c jogged up O'Neill felt the need to remonstrate with them, just a little. 'Carter, Teal'c, you were taking it upon yourselves to try to communicate with the natives? I thought we were agreed it was Daniel's ass on the line when it came to causing diplomatic crises.'
'We did not intend to break protocol, O'Neill.' Jack sensed that Teal'c was more than a little ticked off.
'Sir, I really don't know how to explain this but... it just happened. One minute we were walking through the ruins on our way to meet you and Daniel and suddenly the buildings started to grow and people came out of doorways and within no more then thirty seconds, there was this!' Carter gestured around them, clearly flabbergasted. 'And there we were in the middle of it. I really can't explain it sir.'
'No one's asking you to Carter... yet,' answered O'Neill. 'So Teal'c, you tried talking to them?'
Teal'c approximated a frown. 'Indeed we did O'Neill. They would not answer us. In fact we were completely ignored. One women even walked straight into me, as if she did not see me.'
'That's because you're so easy to miss, Teal'c. Daniel, what say you give it try. You're a little less intimidating than Carter and Teal'c.' Daniel shrugged and looked around the marketplace for a likely approachable person.
Teal'c still looked disturbed. 'I do not think they were intimidated O'Neill.' 'Alright, alright, Teal'c we get the picture, I'm sure no one meant to insult you.' Geez, thought Jack, remind me never to snub a Jaffa.
Daniel spotted a young woman sitting by the central fountain (which had, not surprisingly, sprung back into action whence before it had been bone dry). She appeared to be just watching the bustle around her, not engaged in any task to be interrupted.
'Perhaps I'll ask her,' Daniel mused aloud.
Jack followed his gaze. 'Oh nice Daniel, pick the good looking single female. You don't change do you?' Daniel scowled at him and Jack let himself entertain for a brief moment the images of the payback Daniel could inflict that night for such a comment. He decided to dig himself in deeper.
'Go on then, but if she offers you candy you know what to say don't you.' Jack smiled sweetly. Daniel resisted the urge to deliver a swift kick and settled for a hurumph. 'She just looks bored that's all, so she'll have no excuse not to talk to me.'
He strode over to the fountain. Jack marvelled at the way Daniel was becoming more and more confident with initiating the communication between their world and the ones they encountered through the Stargate. They had all changed so much since that first trip to Abydos. Just as much room for misinterpretation as there ever was though, thought Jack optimistically.
O'Neill, Carter and Teal'c quickly moved over the ground to cover Daniel, lest anything untoward eventuate. Though Jack wasn't quite sure what would be classed as untoward in this world.
'I am Daniel Jackson. We came through the Stargate, the Chappa'ai, we come in peace.'
Jack turned to Carter. 'Geez I love that line, why don't we ever get to say it huh Carter?'
The three of them moved up closer to hear if Daniel got a response from the young woman.
'Get out of my way, can't you see I'm watching them?' Okay, thought Jack, now I bet that wasn't the reaction Daniel was expecting. He watched the surprised scientist take a step back. Daniel adjusted his glasses nervously and cast a quick glance at the rest of his team.
'Um, sorry, uh, watching who?' stammered Daniel.
'Them, them, all of them,' the young woman gestured wildly around the marketplace. 'Oh don't bother, you've ruined it now. I'm going to have to do it all again later. Much later.' She heaved herself up from the bench with the movements of a much older woman and waggled her fingers in the air impatiently. Daniel's jaw dropped open as the bustling village suddenly disappeared into thin air and the ruins returned.
'What just happened here?' He asked in astonishment.
'You took the words right outa my mouth Dr Jackson. Anything you'd like to fill us in on, miss?' O'Neill walked up to Daniel and the woman, Teal'c and Carter not far behind. 'Don't be afraid, we're open-minded. In fact, we'd believe just about anything.'
The woman squinted up at him as if she were terribly short sighted. 'It was a study of course, what are you, stupid? I spent the whole day setting that up and then she comes along - little miss 'I've got a big gun don't come anywhere near me or I'll shoot' over there and then him, mister ' I'm just going to stand right here and get in everyone's way', ' the woman gestured to Carter and Teal'c as she spoke, 'and stand right in the middle of my test so as to ruin all my measurements. And then to add insult to injury, this one,' she jabbed a pointy finger at Daniel, 'this one starts yabbering on to me and upsets my concentration and you, you expect me to answer your questions? Not much point now is there? Huh? May as well pack up and go home now.' She narrowed her eyes at Daniel. 'And that goes doubly for you peaceboy, because you're the one who's been looking at my paintings. I don't expect these empty-headed soldiers to understand what just happened, but you, of all of them, should know the value of my work here.' She jabbed a finger once more into Daniel's chest for emphasis.
'Ow!' Daniel tried to step back out of arm's reach. Jack stepped up and pulled Daniel back the stand slightly behind him out of harm's way.
'Look, we're sorry if we've disturbed something here but we really didn't know what was going on. In fact, I'm still not too clear on it. Could you explain it a little more simply perhaps, for all of us 'dumb soldiers'?' Jack was about ready to explode. What would be really handy, right now, would be if there was a guide book on how to deal with really obtuse, really grouchy aliens. Instead, all he had was sarcasm.
The woman grumbled and muttered to herself. Then she heaved a sigh and started speaking very slowly and very loudly as if Jack was a reasonably thick and disobedient dog. 'I was conducting a study. A study on human interaction. I spent one year, a whole year, preparing these vessels, teaching them, letting them grow. I finally let them out to play and along come four real humans, shouting big hellos and waving their hands in front of my children's faces. You've ruined it. It's hardly pure now. That's all there is to say.'
'We did not wave at them Colonel O'Neill. I believe she is, exaggerating.'
'It's alright Teal'c, she was probably referring to Daniel.' Jack ignored Daniel's spluttering protest.
Carter was getting that fascinated gleam in her eye. Uh-oh, somebody stop her, thought Jack. 'So are you saying you created all those people?'
The woman stared at her. 'No I wished upon a star and they just fell in my lap.' She turned to go. Daniel suppressed a chuckle. Here was someone who could actually challenge Jack in the sarcasm department. Then he remember he should have been offended at the 'peaceboy' tag.
Jack grabbed the woman by the shoulder. 'Just hang on a minute. We thought this world was uninhabited. That's what the murals told us, isn't that right Daniel?'
Daniel fumbled with his notes which were all jumbled up after the fall from the wall earlier. 'Actually Jack, I didn't really have a chance to confirm that. SG-9 came up with that conclusion when they came here on reconnaissance last week and after studying those pictographs...'
'For like, five hours,' Jack stated.
'Well, my mind hasn't really been on the job today,' Daniel looked pointedly back at Jack. 'I'm sorry but I hadn't come up with a firm answer either way from looking at those drawings.'
The woman cackled. 'You're supposed to be the smart one book-boy. At least that's how they all see you. What kind of planet sends out exploration teams of such low intelligence? Your reconnaissance team were no more than foot-soldiers.'
'Hey I'm getting a bit fed up with the name-calling,' Daniel was starting to display annoyance. Jack put a calming hand on his shoulder and tried to will the heat to slip out of the young man and into him. Daniel had had enough upsetting encounters in the past couple of days.
'What say we all sit down somewhere and talk about this okay? We still haven't been properly introduced. I'm Colonel Jack O'Neill, this is Major Carter, Dr Daniel Jackson and Teal'c. We are explorers and we came through the Stargate.' Jack tried to force out a smile at the unlikable woman.
She pursed her lips as she thought about this. 'I am Mater. I will meet you at the temple in half an hour, your time.' She turned abruptly and walked off into the ruins.
'Mater?' wondered Daniel aloud. 'As in Mother?'
'Let's hope not,' answered Jack grimly. SG-1 started walking back to the temple.
It was only ten minutes walk away over the gently rolling hills. Carter fell in step beside Daniel as Jack and Teal'c walked on ahead.
'So you haven't managed to decipher any of those images in the temple yet? And you had all of five hours? You're slipping Daniel,' Sam teased.
'Ah, well, I've had a lot on my mind today,' he countered with a sigh. 'I know,' she slipped her hand around his and gave a small squeeze of support. 'Yesterday was pretty rough on you.'
Daniel gave a weak smile. 'You of all people should know how disturbing it is to encounter an alternate version of yourself.' Sam nodded. 'And then finding out how similar they are to you,' she finished for him. Daniel looked at her in surprise.
'But your alternate self was so unlike you, in the ways that matter, I mean,' he stumbled, trying not to give too much away. 'The whole thing with your alternate being married to Jack and all that, it must have been weird.'
'That was a shock,' Sam conceded, 'but not entirely unexpected.' Daniel stared at her with wide blue eyes full of concern for his friend. Sam patted his arm. 'It's alright,' she murmured, 'I know.'
Daniel comprehended at once and thought, not for the first time, that economy with words was not always a bad thing when one could express as much as Sam, so eloquently with so little. He was suddenly filled with hope that maybe Sam was the one person who he could talk to about his fears.
'Sam,' he hesitated and looked ahead to check whether Teal'c and Jack were within earshot. They weren't. 'The alternate me that you met yesterday, he wasn't anything like me at all. He was a far greater man than I could ever dream of being.'
'Don't put yourself down Daniel, he just chose a different path that's all.'
'You don't understand Sam.' Daniel took a deep breath and shoved his hands down in his pockets. 'There are things in my past, mainly to do with my parents, that I can't seem to get over, work through, or anything. It was obvious to me that he had been able to overcome these hang-ups, neuroses, call them what you will, and had embarked on a full and satisfying life which was only being cut short by the Goa'uld, once again,' he added as an afterthought. 'It was also clear that he knew I was not as good a man as he and that is probably why he asked Jack to take his child. I mean, I would have been the obvious choice wouldn't I. We do share the same genes after all. In every physical sense, I am that child's father. But he knew he couldn't trust me, and that's why he chose Jack.'
Sam stopped and grabbed Daniel by the shoulders so he had to stop walking and look at her. 'Daniel, that's not what happened.'
He tried not to meet her gaze, he was too ashamed. 'Of course it is Sam, Jack told me everything.'
Sam winced as she knew she was about to drop Jack right in it. She wondered what on earth could have possessed him to lie to Daniel knowing what a vulnerable state the man was in right now. 'The other Daniel said he didn't have time to convince you to take his child. He knew himself too well, he said. So he asked Jack to be guardian to the boy temporarily and then entrusted Jack with the responsibility of convincing you to take him after the other Daniel had gone.'
Daniel's mouth went dry. He blinked at Sam as he tried to comprehend what she was telling him. Jack had lied to him? After all Daniel had told him, after he'd virtually spilled his guts on everything that was that made him the man he was, Jack had boldly lied to his face. He let him think that even his own alternate self thought he couldn't be trusted with a child. Daniel began to think maybe he didn't really know Jack at all. It was quite simply beyond him to understand why Jack had done this. Was it revenge, for Daniel turning him out of his apartment last night? Maybe Jack was only after the sex in their relationship, and when he didn't get that he decided to hurt Daniel so much that he would end it. But that didn't quite gel with the genuine concern Daniel thought he had read in Jack's expression as he held that photo out to him. Although his head was all at sea, his heart told him Jack really did care about him and there must be some other explanation. It didn't stop the crushing feeling in his stomach though. It occurred to him that he might throw up then and there and he turned away from Sam whilst he quietly fought the urge.
'Daniel?' A gentle hand on his shoulder. He turned to face his friend and gave a shaky smile. Ah Daniel, you're learning the soldier's tricks quickly aren't you, despite his emotional state the young man grinned ruefully to himself. I think this is what they call putting on a brave face.
'I don't know which I'd prefer to be thought as, untrustworthy or a procrastinator. On the whole, I think I prefer your version.'
Sam gave him an odd look. She did wonder about Daniel sometimes. In the beginning he had been so open and innocent, so easy to become close friends with, so like her in many ways with his desire for knowledge but also a great contrast in his impulsiveness and lack of cynicism. She thought what a tragedy it would be if their experiences with gate travel and the rigidity of military conduct and regulations, happened to change Daniel and upset that balance. Their team of three soldiers didn't need a fourth.
But they were nearing the temple and the Colonel and Teal'c were waiting for them to catch up, so she decided to let the matter rest.
~~~
As Carter and Jackson jogged up to the two men, Jack spread out his arms. 'Well we're here then. What now?' He was not in the mood for patience anymore, he just wanted to get out of there and back to base.
'Uh, Jack...' Daniel gestured to the temple steps behind them. 'I think she meant inside the temple, perhaps.'
'Oh yeah, I might be a dumb soldier but I do know not to follow strange alien women into enclosed areas where I don't know the available exits.' Daniel rolled his eyes and gave him that look as if to say 'well, if you don't then what's the point of being here?'
'Fair point,' Jack conceded and headed for the steps. Sam marvelled at how well the two men could communicate now, as opposed to when she first saw them in action together on her first mission to Abydos. The Colonel was much more willing now to accept that unless useful contact was made with the inhabitants of these other worlds there was not really much point to gate exploration. Daniel, on the other hand, seemed to be becoming more aware of what was going on around him and acting more like a team player.
SG-1 entered the gloom of the temple, Carter and Teal'c taking the flanks and spreading out so as not to be a sitting duck should it be a trap. When Jack's eyes had adjusted to the gloom he could make out the shape of an old woman kneeling in front of the murals which covered the south wall of the room. She had her back to them and did not appear to have heard them enter.
'Hello?' Daniel called out to the woman.
'Yes, yes, come in then,' she turned her head and peeked over her shoulder at them. It seemed like the same woman, only she had suddenly aged forty years and now carried the lines and papery skin of an elderly woman. 'Yes, 'tis me still, you're just seeing me in my natural state. Not so pretty eh?' she cackled. The body movements which had been unsettling on the youthful woman in the marketplace now seemed appropriate. The woman had rested heavily with hands leaning on her folded legs as if bracing herself. Now she rose with an arthritic awkwardness and walked towards them.
She cast a critical eye over the four members of SG-1. Jack gazed back at her unflinchingly to show he wasn't intimidated by an old woman, even one as surly as she.
Mater stepped up to Daniel. 'So, clever-clogs, what did you make of my pictures?'
Daniel pursed his lips. 'My name is Dr Jackson,' he emphasised the doctor then stepped around her and approached the wall. The group followed him. Mater stood at his side, only coming up to his elbow. Daniel frowned as he studied the wall.
The old woman poked him sharply in the side. 'Ow! Would you stop doing that, please! Just say my name if you want my attention.'
Mater smiled undeterred. 'So, this corner here is what hmmm?' She didn't wait for him to answer. 'These are my animals, my birds, my pets yes?' Daniel cast an eye over the crude representations of a Noah's ark type of gathering of animals in the lower right hand corner. 'Okay, I see,' he said slowly. The beginnings of an inkling as to where the old woman might be heading began to twitch in his mind.
His eyes roamed over the rest of the mural. His gaze settled at the top of the wall. He pointed upwards. 'And those are the elements?' Mater snatched his tentative hand down but smiled. 'Good boy, but you don't let them know you know, elements can be temperamental devils.' Jack wondered if this could get any more surreal. He looked at Daniel and was thankful to see that light in his eyes which registered that he at least had figured out what the hell was the deal here. Which was good because whoever drew these pictures was no artist. The old lady could be telling them it was the inside workings of a cow and Jack would've had to trust her.
Daniel pointed to a collection of lines in the other corner. 'And that's the people.' He said triumphantly. The old woman sucked on her teeth. 'There you go, that wasn't so hard was it?' She turned to the Colonel. 'Or rather, they were the people, until someone lead his troops into the middle of the study and ruined twelve months hard work!'
'Hey! We already said we're sorry about that. We didn't know.' Damn, was he going to have this argument again? Jack tried to move on. But Daniel was already on the case with Carter not far behind.
'You're like mother nature. You look after all living things, you direct the elements...' the words were pouring from Daniel but the old woman silenced him with a severe look. When he broke off in surprise, she chuckled throatily. 'Heh, heh, not quite, I don't do fish, there's another one what looks after them. Also no one really directs the elements, they do what they like, I just try to keep them on side so they want to please me, but apart from that, near enough I guess.' She patted him on the arm like he was a dog who had learnt to sit, and waddled towards the door.
'Hey, hang on a minute.' Carter rushed after her and she stopped at the temple doorway.
'So what was all that with the people in the village being there one moment and gone the next? What was this study?'
'Oh that,' Mater sighed. 'Well, as you may have guessed, the original inhabitants of this world left a long time ago. Over the past few years I got to thinking it might be more interesting to have people around the place again so I talked it over with some of my colleagues and they gave me a few starting tips and since then I've been gathering the necessary ingredients and knowledge to put together a functioning race.'
Daniel's mouth dropped open. 'Your colleagues? There are more of you?'
'Oh yes, but we don't socialise much, and this is my territory.'
'Oh, okay,' replied the scientist, bemused at the sharp reply. Mater stalked out into the sunlight. Jack rolled his eyes at Teal'c and they ambled after Carter and Daniel who had followed the old woman in fascination.
'So you're practicing to create a human race,' Carter was breathless at the concept.
'Not quite, but you get the general idea. I've done the studies for physiology, education, medicine, and of course diet, but I'm still completing my knowledge on body language, interpersonal communication, emotions....that sort of thing, the intangibles I like to call them. The less said about the daily interaction unit the better, you lot put paid to that one.'
She eased herself down onto the low stone wall and turned her face up to the sun. Daniel was frowning at the ground, trying to get his head around this rather clinical assessment of what it was that constituted a human being. He left it to Carter to ask the questions.
'What happens when you've finished your 'studies'?' Carter sounded rather stunned at what they had learnt.
'Oh this and that, but primarily I'll have a good idea of how to create a fairly hardy race. Not like you lot.' She jabbed at Daniel again but this time he side-stepped her sharp finger. 'So weak, the slightest puff of wind would knock you down!'
Jack pricked up his ears at that slight. 'Hey, we're tougher than you might think.'
Mater sniffed and shook her head at him sadly. 'No poor things, you're just weaklings, the runts of the litter.' Teal'c stepped forward not willing to hear his friends insulted. The old woman looked at him admiringly. 'Now you sir, on the other hand, are well-constructed but you still have a few imperfections such as your house guest there (she gestured to his pouch). No, when I'm finished my race will be far superior, they won't be susceptible to illness or injury or predisposed towards harming each other.' She narrowed her eyes at the Colonel.
'You're kinda only looking at the negatives there.' After saying that Jack became acutely aware of the gun in his hands and shifted it surreptitiously down by his side.
The old woman shook her head. 'I've been watching you since you arrived. You forget that daily interaction is my area this year. From what I observed, your interaction appears to leave a lot to be desired.' She paused and Jack shot a look at Daniel. He was still frowning at the ground and fiddling with his notebook. 'Example one,' she pointed at Sam. 'This one, didn't listen to that one,' she pointed at Teal'c, 'when he suggested he sensed an uneasiness when they walking through the village ruins. She just blundered in because there was nothing suspicious that she could see and we only trust and believe what we can see and hear and touch don't we dear,' she nodded at Sam who blushed a deep red. Well, she thought furiously, she was a scientist.
Then Mater pointed at Teal'c. 'And of course that one was right and we get very ticked off, don't we now, when people think we are not a good soldier, especially when we are right ninety nine percent of the time.' Teal'c raised an eyebrow, he wasn't going to dignify that with a reply.
Jack's dislike of the old woman was increas