Father's Day

by Clancy Thomas

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asc/clancy/father.php
Summary: A visitor arrives from an alternate universe with a difficult request for Colonel O'Neill and Daniel Jackson.
Info:

There's a ceremony which occurs in this fic which Daniel says is an Abydonian tradition. I have no idea if it is and don't pretend to have a clue. I just made it up. No resemblance to any culture or religion is intended (apart from Abydonian I guess!)

Part 1

In the dark, silent warehouse, a figure appeared in the mirror. It was dressed in sandy coloured robes with a hood obscuring its face and carrying a small bundle tightly in its arms. The room behind the figure was as dark and impenetrable as the warehouse. The figure stood for five long minutes, as if deep in thought, then, with a firm confident hand, the figure touched the mirror.

~~~

Major Carter raised her eyebrows at Jack O'Neill, for once there had been no smart-ass comments, no quips, no sideways glances. For once, Colonel O'Neill was taking this just as seriously as the rest of them, or even more seriously judging by the intense expression on his face as he watched the video screen.

Sam turned her attention back to the screen. If it hadn't been so serious it would have been quite funny- there was Daniel on the screen doing the usual Daniel thing when he gets excited, waving his hands about and starting on voicing the next thought even before he'd finished the first. But the story he was telling was horrific, shaking Sam to the core and she dreaded to think what it was doing to Colonel O'Neill, or Teal'c. Even Hammond had sounded shaken up when he had called the meeting that morning and had presented SG-1 with the interview tape from the Area 51 holding and research facility. He had informed them that there had been a breach of security at the complex, that surveillance mechanisms had caught an intruder in one of the warehouses. The intruder claimed to have come through the mirror - one of the artifacts SG-1 had recovered from P3R 233 - stored in the maximum security holding facility - a claim backed up by the lack of evidence of a point of entry into the warehouse, and the fact that the heat activated sensors were only set off in the immediate vicinity of the mirror, a physical impossibility for anyone entering the warehouse from outside.

The intruder was interrogated and revealed that he knew about the Stargate and the SGC. In fact, he had intimate knowledge of the military facility and its personnel, particularly the premier exploration team SG-1. He was also highly intelligent and extremely knowledgeable about the ancient cultures being unearthed by the Stargate project and about the threat of the Goa'uld. Hardly surprising then, thought Sam, that he should look and sound exactly like their very own Daniel Jackson.

Sam looked over at Daniel, wondering how he was coping with watching this version of himself, hearing the terrible sights the alternate Daniel had witnessed. Usually Daniel was an open book to Sam, she could read every emotion as it crossed his face on its way to his heart. She knew what he was feeling before he even knew it himself, and she knew Jack could do the same. Daniel was a highly emotional creature but also intensely vulnerable. Sam almost felt it was her duty to keep a sharp eye on Daniel's state of mind, moving in to protect him, even from himself when the need arose.

Today, etched in Daniel's features was a look of sheer disbelief and horror. His blue eyes were shimmering with unshed tears of compassion and his hands were clenched together as if needing to hold onto himself lest he fall apart. Sam longed to reach out and pat his arm to let him know that they would not let him deal with this alone, but she feared that the simple gesture might be the action to shatter the last remaining shreds of his self control.

Sam turned her attention back to the screen. This was killing her, there was Daniel, dressed in Abydonian garb, a shell of a man swamping himself in material as if seeking protection from his memories. He now spoke in a low, emotionless voice, reciting the facts as if he had done so a thousand times before and was now numb to the horror of his claims.

In his universe, the Goa'uld had launched a final attack on earth, but in a form no one had anticipated. It came not through the Stargate, but on the wind. The Goa'uld had not used zat guns, the ribbon device, or any other instruments of their own destructive technology to bring the Tauri to their knees. They had harnessed a weapon Earth had developed entirely of its own accord , through it's own fear and hatred. Biological warfare was an unfamiliar concept to the Goa'uld but not to the scientists and military strategists of Earth.

Several of the more powerful Goa'uld had formed an alliance with the intention of destroying the Tauri once and for all. They studied Tauri methods of warfare, convinced that the least detectable mode of attack, the kind which the Tauri would least expect as originating from the Goa'uld, would be one which mimicked their own methods of fighting one another. Then, on a cool, clear spring day, an unusually early daffodil peaked its head above the earth and bloomed its yellow light on a small patch of grass in a meadow near Colorado. A gentle breeze whisked up the spores which lay cupped in its centre and transported them high into the clouds, where they multiplied in the thin moist air. This happened in many meadows, in many countries. That night, across the continents there were countless reports from night sky-watchers, astronomers, farmers, cleaners and truck drivers, of shooting stars which never seemed to fall away.... When the death gliders were detected and shot down by Earth's Goa'uld defense systems, there was much speculation as to why the Goa'uld would send unmanned craft into Earth's upper atmosphere, leaving them there to be destroyed. Earth prepared for an attack from space.... A few weeks later the first cases of the sickness started being reported, in France and Chile, and then in Japan too.

The face on the video screen wore a mask of numbness as the familiar voice told of the relentless march of death which had overtaken the Earth in a matter of months. The parasite was not transferred through bodily contact. The spores were carried in the air and once coming into contact with a host, did not leave that body until the host succumbed to death. Then the parasite died too. People tried shutting themselves in their homes, or seeking protection underground, but most had been infected before the sickness had even been given a cause. Once infected, the dying was slow, over a period of a few months, insidious but not overly painful until the last stages of the infestation. Just incurable. Society had broken down under the strain. Anarchy or the military ruled in most countries.

The other Daniel reported how the SGC had ceased to function as an exploration facility and was given over as an insulated medical facility to research a cure or immunization against the sickness. When that failed, it became shelter for its dying staff, most of whom were also infected in the early days of the infiltration.

Sam could not take her eyes off the calm, defeated man who listed the names of the people existing in his world and theirs who had succumbed to the sickness. General Hammond, Ferretti, Teal'c, Sam Carter, Jack O'Neill... He broke off when he came to the end of this list, not overwhelmed with emotion as Sam would have expected, but as if he was giving a moment's silence in respect for the fallen. Sam observed however, the hands on the table in front of him, tightly locked together to control the twisting fingers, betraying his true emotions.

General Hammond paused the tape for a moment, sensing perhaps, that the team needed some time to absorb what they had just observed.

Predictably, Colonel O'Neill was the first to find his voice. 'Each time I get a glimpse of another alternate universe, I am so glad we live in this one.'

'I think we can all thank our lucky stars for that, Colonel O'Neill.' Hammond looked round the table.

'Major Carter, what are your thoughts on this story?'

Sam took a deep breath and struggled to keep some semblance of normalcy in her tone. 'Sir, I find it deeply disturbing. But my immediate thought is, is there anything we can do to help this other reality? Scientifically, is it possible for us to study the parasite and formulate a cure in a secure and sterile facility? Is that why the other Dr Jackson has come to us for help?'

Teal'c turned from studying the screen as Sam made her last remark. 'I do not think Daniel Jackson has come to request our help. He bears the expressions of a man who has relinquished hope.'

'Very astute Teal'c, and you are right of course. Dr Jackson did not come to request our help. He appears to hold no hope whatsoever that there is a cure for this disease. However, he has asked to speak to Colonel O'Neill and our Dr Jackson here at the SGC. He made it clear that he wishes to return to his reality as soon as possible and is not seeking refuge. The, uh, other Dr Jackson stated that he merely had something to request of the Colonel and Dr Jackson. We did not feel that we could refuse his request and he is on his way here, under guard of course, as we speak.' General Hammond picked up the remote once again.

'There is one last section of the interview that I would like you to study.' He pressed play.

The man on the screen sat in silence having answered the interviewer's questions to the utmost of his ability. Then, for the first time since the start of the interview he raised his head and looked at the unseen interviewer behind the camera. When he spoke his voice trembled with barely controlled anger and his eyes flashed darkly.

'Now you know everything, would you return to me my child?'

General Hammond stopped the tape and Jack O'Neill visibly jumped. If this wasn't a complete mind fuck he didn't know what was. An alternate universe where everything was going to hell was not a new concept and not particularly hard for the Colonel to grasp - he knew how thin the line was between order and chaos, particularly when society was terrorised and under siege. Damnit, that was one reason why he had joined the forces - to protect those who were weaker or vulnerable and to keep order such that society remained fair and equitable.

But seeing another Daniel Jackson, especially like this, was something he was going to find very hard to come to grips with. The man on the video tape compared unfavorably with the man sitting across the table from him in the briefing room right now. The Daniel on the tape had had all the light kicked out of him. He had no hope, no energy, no unshakable faith in the success of humanity, no spirit - all the qualities he admired in his Daniel Jackson. It frightened him to think that he had just been given a glimpse of what might become of his Daniel should something so dreadful occur in his own world. It frightened him to think that Daniel was capable of becoming like that.

Jack could not envisage the Daniel Jackson he knew, reciting the names of his dead friends without a shred of emotion.

But what shocked him more was not so much the differences, as the similarities.

The open and harsh anger in his voice as the man on the tape asked for his child was true to the passion of his Daniel, the eyes were the same repositories of emotion and expression that Jack had gazed into a thousand times over. The sadness and hurt revealed in them, the same sadness that made Daniel a hundred years old and as young as the day.

Jack knew then and there he did not want to see this man in the flesh.

General Hammond was looking at him, expecting some sort of comment or reaction. Jack licked his lips, his throat suddenly dry. For once, he was lost for words.

But it was Daniel who saved him.

'He brought a child with him?' Everyone looked around at Daniel, surprise blatant on their faces. No one had expected Daniel to speak so soon, assuming him to be too affected by what they had seen and heard. Evidently, Sam thought, his self-control was stronger than they gave him credit for.

Hammond shuffled the papers in front of him. 'Yes, his son, a boy aged about 18 months.'

Daniel nodded slowly, digesting this information.

'Did he say who was the mother of this child?'

Jack frowned, he could not read the emotion in Daniel's voice as he asked that question. It sounded bland, as if he were inquiring after someone of no importance to him, rather than the child of an alternate version of himself.

Hammond shuffled the papers again nervously. Jack figured there was something the General was concealing from them and he determined to find out what it was.

'That was discussed on an earlier tape. I believe in that universe the boy is the child of Dr Jackson and his wife Sha're. Sha're was not taken or made a host by the Goa'uld, instead, she returned to earth with Dr Jackson. She was also not a victim of the Goa'uld attack on earth. He says she left for Abydos several months before the sickness began to emerge.'

'Why?' Again, a calm, light tone, so unlike Daniel. Oh boy, thought Jack, they were going to have to have a very long talk after this meeting.

'Why what Dr Jackson?' General Hammond did not expect this line of questioning.

'Why did she go back to Abydos, leaving her husband and child behind?' Thin cracks began to appear in the veneer of Daniel's self-control.

General Hammond coughed. 'I don't know the answer to that Dr Jackson. Perhaps you should ask him yourself when he arrives this afternoon.'

Jack suddenly found his voice. 'Today? He's coming today?' Damn! That gave him practically no time to prepare himself or Daniel for what would surely be a very stressful encounter.

General Hammond collected his notes and stood. 'Yes, we'll reconvene at 1400 hours. Major Carter, Teal'c, I would like you to also attend this meeting . SG-1 you are dismissed.' The General left the room.

The four members of SG-1 remained at the table, still collecting themselves and their thoughts. Daniel was the first to speak. He licked his lips nervously and then gave a short dry mirthless laugh. 'Two of me to deal with, boy Jack are you gonna love that.'

Jack looked sharply at Daniel. What the hell was he playing at? Daniel met his gaze and lowered his eyes quickly.

'I was being sarcastic. I meant how you always find it frustrating and difficult to understand when I talk about stuff like, well, like alternate universes. You're really gonna hate two of us babbling on about it.' He spoke hastily.

Jack let out a breath of relief. 'Oh, I think I'll be able to deal with it.' He said evenly. 'Carter can be my translator.' Sometimes Jack really worried that Daniel was going to give the game away.

'I wonder what he wants to talk to you about?' Sam mused aloud.

'I find it very disturbing that he has not yet made his intentions clear. That is very unlike you Daniel Jackson.' Teal'c sounded disapproving. Daniel flashed with anger.

'Let's get one thing straight. This man is not me, okay? He is like me, but he's different in a few very important ways.' Daniel shoved his chair back and stormed out of the room. Jack winced as he realised how it must have affected Daniel to hear another version of himself who had had the chance to build a life with Sha're and even start a family with her, only to have it all swept away yet again. How it must've hurt him. Even though he and Daniel had been lovers for many months now, Jack knew it still pained Daniel to remember Sha're and their life on Abydos.

Sam looked at her commanding officer, she was aware of the relationship between the two men and had been slightly hurt at the beginning that they had chosen not to confide in her and Teal'c. But after her initial dismay, she had conceded that in the military, tacit understanding was safer than confrontation and she had chosen to make the Colonel aware of her knowledge only if he sought to look deeper into the words she spoke. Both she and Teal'c, being of military minds, understood the need for absolute discretion and the cold concept of 'need to know.'

Carter chose her words carefully. 'I think Daniel would benefit from some strong guidance from you this afternoon Colonel.'

O'Neill studied her and Teal'c with tired eyes. He rubbed a hand over his forehead and shrugged his shoulders. There was no answer to that. His gesture suggested he would do what he could but that would probably not be enough.

~~~

Jack found Daniel in his lab, pretending to categorize some artifacts they'd brought back from the last mission. He watched Daniel stuff up a label three times before deciding that the scientist might benefit from a little light conversation. Or something.

He coughed to let Daniel know he was there in the doorway. Daniel didn't look up, he just stood there, head bowed, clenching and unclenching his fist gripping his pen and hovering over the chart. Jack took a few casual steps into the room.

'Need any help?' He leaned against the bench-top and crossed his feet at the ankles. Keep it relaxed, Jack reminded himself, don't want to frighten him away now. Over the past few months when Jack had come to know Daniel Jackson better than he had known anyone before in his life, he had learnt the rewards of paying closer attention to the younger man's body language and recognizing the signs which meant that Daniel was under stress. Where he used to be impatient with the scientist who could be so stubborn when it came to talking about his own emotions and troubles, Jack could now see the benefits of sometimes employing the old softly, softly routine. Not that he still didn't think the best way to handle Daniel sometimes was give him a short sharp dose of good old reality and if that didn't work then fifty push-ups oughta do it. But he could also do 'caring and sharing' when the situation called for it. Like now.

Unfortunately, the good doctor didn't seem inclined to agree today of all days.

'Oh please Jack, do come in, yes, I'd love for you to transcribe those 340 page documents you see piled up on my desk. I'm sorry, I didn't know your cache of talents included ancient Sumerian or I would've asked you sooner.' Daniel could be very snarky when he wanted. Jack resisted the urge to retort and decided to just bite the bullet.

'Gonna be a bit weird at the meeting this afternoon isn't it?' Jack avoided looking at Daniel directly and ran his fingertips absently over the bench-top.

Daniel didn't reply.

'I reckon with two of you anthro-geeks plus Carter in the one meeting I'm gonna understand about one word in four.'

No reply. Oh, well, time to change tactics. Softly, softly, fails yet again. Hello reality.

Jack picked up a little statue and began to fiddle with it, thankful that it was made from pliable material. He soon discovered he could twist its legs up over its shoulders. 'So I was thinking, how about we invite... yourself... over to my place for dinner tonight. You can get to know yourself better. I wonder if he likes hockey? You better hope he can't drink more beers than you can without throwing up... oh well, that's not hard to do really, it's only three...'

As Daniel's pen flew across the room and stuck fast in an unlucky volume of Herodotus' Histories, Jack congratulated himself on making a breakthrough. Kinda.

He quickly closed the gap between himself and his friend, pressing home the advantage.

'Daniel, I know this is gonna be kinda weird for you, but I'll be there, and Carter and Teal'c...'

'Weird?' Daniel spat the word out contemptuously. 'Weird? You think that sums it up? Weird? Amazing, you're so perceptive Jack.' Jack refused to be baited.

'What would you call it Daniel?'

'A humiliating reflection of my failings as a human being. That about fits the bill.'

Geez Daniel, how'd you come up with that one? Jack struggled to keep it light. 'You know, that wasn't the description that immediately sprang into my mind. You're a few steps ahead of me here as usual.'

'He protected his wife, he stopped the Goa'uld from taking her, he gave her a child, he's a father, he's survived when no one else has, he has done everything I have failed to do, his life is everything mine should have been.' Daniel sagged against the bench-top, looking about as miserable as a kid who's been told he's never gonna make it to the major league (although Jack figured that wouldn't have hurt Daniel quite as much as it hurt him at age 11).

Jack rested his hand lightly on top of Daniel's trembling fingers on the bench.

'Ah, but if your life had taken those turns then we wouldn't have this would we?'

'We wouldn't have what?'

For a smart man, when Daniel got upset, he could be really, really dumb.

Jack closed his fingers tight around the other man's hand. 'This, you and me, together. You were happy enough with it this morning... and last night.... And the night before...'

Daniel smiled in spite of himself. Then his face closed up again. 'I don't want to go to this meeting. I don't want to know what he has to ask us. I have a really bad feeling about this Jack.' Daniel lifted his face to meet Jack's kind and concerned eyes. They expressed a far deeper sympathy than his words had suggested. Daniel had known what he would see there, that was why he had so far resisted looking at Jack throughout the conversation. He had to have time to give voice to his fears before looking in to those eyes which had always reassured him everything was going to be alright. He never wanted to prove those eyes liars but he had to make sure Jack was prepared for this meeting. Daniel knew it was going to be a lot harder than Jack expected.

'We owe him an audience Daniel. Do you know how mad I would be if you futzed with that mirror again and ended up in an Alternate Universe where they refused to listen to you? Do for him what you would hope for yourself.'

A teasing smile twitched around the corners of Daniel's mouth. 'Geez Jack, that sounded almost wise'.

'Yeah, I've been taking lessons from Teal'c. Still gotta work on the eyebrow thing though.' Jack presented him with the twisted up statue. 'Oh, and I hope this wasn't too important.'

Daniel finally grinned. 'No, that actually came free in the last batch of software I got. I think it's supposed to relieve stress.'

Jack propped it up on the bench. 'Works then. I'm feeling very relaxed.' With a final squeeze of Daniel's hand, Jack waltzed out of the lab.

Out in the corridor, Jack O'Neill shuddered and collapsed against a wall. He did not feel good about this meeting at all. Knowing Daniel's state of mind, the thing Jack most needed to do now was seek out General Hammond and find out whatever it was the old man was keeping a secret. There was no way Jack was going into that room at 1400 hours unprepared.

~~~

It was a composed but determined Colonel O'Neill who knocked on the door of General Hammond's office.

As he was invited into the inner sanctum, O'Neill noticed how tired the General seemed and surmised that he had been correct in assuming there was more to this than a simple glimpse of tragedy in a parallel universe.

'General Hammond sir, I'm concerned about the scheduled meeting this afternoon. I wanted to discuss it with you beforehand in order to be fully prepared.'

'Sit down Colonel O'Neill.' Hammond waved a hand indicating the chair across from his desk. Jack took the seat and rubbed his already sweating palms on his thighs. This so did not look good, Hammond had given in without a fight. 'What information do you feel you need to know, Colonel?'

'Well, how about starting with what question this 'other' Daniel Jackson is intending to ask me?' Jack regretted the impertinence in his tone as soon as he spoke the words but the stress was wearing on him too and he just shrugged and waited for Hammond's response.

The General rose from his desk and walked over to the bookcase, feigning interest in an encyclopedic volume. Now Jack was really worried. As a military man, General Hammond was trained to deal with the harsh realities of duty and Jack had never known him to display hesitation or vulnerability in front of another officer. Even if he hadn't been in the military, Jack guessed he would've been a straight up and down kind of a man. Evasive behavior was out of character as well as out of training. Hammond swiped at an invisible film of dust on the shelf top, then he coughed and folded his hands behind his back. He turned to face Jack.

'Colonel O'Neill, I do not know what the 'other' Dr Jackson intends to ask of you. I can reasonably guess however, what he intends to ask 'our' Dr Jackson.'

Jack thought he detected a twinge of hopelessness in General Hammond's tone.

'And that is...?' prompted Jack.

'It's quite obvious Colonel O'Neill, that Dr Jackson intends on abandoning his child in this, universe, as it were.'

Jack had to cut in there. 'General, in the admittedly 'simple' understanding I have of the whole alternate universe, thing, whatever, I would assume that other versions of 'ourselves' would bear some smidgen of similarity to 'us'... kinda... my point being that Daniel, Dr Jackson would never, not even in the furthest interpretation of his character, abandon his own child, if he had one... which this, 'Daniel', does, I think.'

'Colonel O'Neill, this Dr Jackson is dying. He has the sickness. I believe he intends to ask our Dr Jackson to take over the role of father.'

This statement cut Jack to the core. He hated to think of Daniels dying in any universe. It was harder to imagine that then it was to imagine his own death from some Goa'uld disease spore. He knew it was so selfish but at that moment all he could wish was that this Daniel would return to his own universe before he succumbed.

Hammond was asking him a question. Jack didn't hear him. Hammond repeated it.

'Colonel O'Neill, I asked you if you think that Dr Jackson will be able to handle attending this meeting . I wasn't happy with his reaction to viewing the tape this morning, not that I blame him of course, even I found it disturbing.'

Jack struggled out an answer. 'Daniel will... cope... I'm sure, I, we'll be there to support him.'

Hammond walked around and put a hand on Jack's shoulder. 'Thank you Colonel O'Neill, if SG-1 wasn't such as tight unit I would have had more reservations about agreeing to this meeting. Thank you for setting my mind at ease.'

'That's perfectly alright sir, and I appreciate your candor in informing me as to the nature of this...meeting. Thank you General.'

Hammond stepped back behind his desk to give Jack room to make his escape.

~~~

The four members of SG-1 and General Hammond sat anxiously waiting in the debriefing room at 1400 hours. The car transporting the 'other' Dr Jackson had been slightly delayed.

Teal'c waited with his usual calm stoicism. Jack mused as to whether patience came naturally to the people of Chu'lak or whether Jaffa mothers just knew some really great bribes. His own mother had always gone with the pithy saying, 'good things come to those who wait,' and Jack had 'never' believed that one. Probably why his knee was jittering up and down at that very moment and Teal'c was serenely sipping his water.

Carter looked very worried but also as if she was trying to hide her underlying eagerness. Jack didn't blame her - she was a scientist after all and duty-bound to wet her pants over the idea of transcending the time-space continuum... or whatever that mirror thingy did. He hoped she would do most of the talking so as to give him and Daniel some breathing space, particularly if he needed to get Daniel out of there in a hurry. As well as he knew Daniel, Jack sure as hell did not know how he would react to the visitor's request. Hell, he didn't even know how he would react if it was a version of himself that came and... oh that made his head hurt.

He glanced over at Daniel who was sitting opposite him, next to Teal'c. The man was a study of misery. He kept wriggling about as if he couldn't get comfortable. Then he crossed his arms and laid his elbows on the table in front of him, leaning down on his arms and staring intently at the shiny blank surface as if the cure was written there. A confused frown lined his forehead.

Jack got up and grabbed the coffee pot - just to do something.

'Coffee anyone? Daniel?' At the sound of his name Daniel looked up. Good boy, thought Jack, we haven't lost you yet then. He gestured with the pot. Daniel looked at the pot and then shook his head.

At that moment came the sound of footsteps and then a brisk knock on the door. All five pairs of eyes swiveled around to the door as it opened and two officers walked in followed by one Dr Daniel Jackson, replete in Abydonian dress and carrying a small child, also in robes.

~~~

Jack was so glad he was clutching the coffee pot just then because the burning sensation in his hand was just the distraction he need to tear his eyes from the man and take his seat, returning the coffee pot to its stand first.

'Aren't you going to offer me a cup of coffee then Jack?' the 'other' Daniel teased, without looking at Jack as he took a seat and settled the child on his lap.

Jack hesitated, then decided to play along. 'Would you like a cup of coffee Dr Jackson?'

The other Daniel flickered his eyes briefly in his direction then looked away again as he spoke. 'Yes, lovely, thank you.' Jack got up and poured him a coffee. He set it down in front of the man, still not completely sure what game he had entered into with the visitor. In fact, not sure at all. Were all Daniels this enigmatic? Or just the versions he happened to come into contact with?

Once Jack was seated again, General Hammond chose to initiate the discussion.

'Dr Jackson, I believe you are familiar with everyone attending this meeting? Or a version thereof at least?'

'Yes I am.' Again the downcast eyes. Jack sneaked a look at 'his' Daniel and was concerned to see him staring at the visitor with a mixture of fear and envy written on his features. Hold on Daniel, just stay back for now, thought Jack, remembering that a dog bites hardest when it is frightened and wounded, and desperate.

'Dr Jackson, we've reviewed the interview tapes and we still have a few questions we'd like to ask you about your world and the Goa'uld attack before you proceed with your request.'

'Yes, fine, of course, go ahead.' Some things don't change, thought Sam wryly.

Hammond went first. Jack smiled as he saw Sam was dying to jump in with her list. Age before beauty Carter, you know that, he thought.

'Dr Jackson, just how much of your world is affected by this Goa'uld disease? Hysteria aside on what scale are we talking?'

Dr Jackson gave a rueful smile. 'Hysteria, I guess that's a fair description. There's not a city, town or village that remains untouched. The parasite traveled on the very air we breathed and multiplied millions of times a second in favorable conditions. Gas masks were the only real protection but the majority of the infection occurred before anyone was even aware of it. The Goa'uld basically planned to destroy the entire population of earth. Maybe they decided we were just be too much of a nuisance and that out-weighed our usefulness as hosts.' He shrugged his shoulders.

Then Teal'c spoke up. 'Why did other planets not come to your aid? Did you try contacting Chu'lak?'

'I was dispatched as an emissary to several planets including Chu'lak to seek an alliance or technology which might help us, but as this was not a traditional Goa'uld tactic, no one could provide any knowledge of how to combat it. When you think about it, we were victims of our own tendency to warmongering. The Goa'uld are parasites themselves, they would generally not use another parasite as a method of warfare. It would seem... too close to home... disrespectful maybe. But we gave them the idea and the know-how. They just provided a living poison more insidious and more deadly than any anthrax or virus we could create. Masters of our own destruction.' The voice became the dull recitation again, as if that were the only way such horrors could be recounted - with chilling dispassion. Jack felt as if someone had tiptoed over his grave.

'What about Abydos?' For the first time Daniel spoke up, trying to meet the visitor's dispassion with his own and failing miserably, the horror and compassion glaringly obvious in the transparent blue eyes.

Dr Jackson looked at his equal. 'Abydos was destroyed by Apophis' death gliders two months before the attack on earth. It is thought the parasite was in part revenge for our part in the failed attempt to save the people of Abydos a second time.'

'And Sha're?' Jack felt a twinge of some combination of jealousy and sympathy as Daniel softly asked after the fate of his wife.

'Sha're was living on Abydos at the time. She was killed in the first air raid.' Dr Jackson's eyes filled with tears as he recounted that sad fact. At last, thought Jack, some shred of a Jackson he could recognize.

Daniel shook his head. 'Don't give me crocodile tears, ' he spoke harshly, his voice cracking with anger. 'Why was she living on Abydos in the first place?'

The visitor rubbed a hand softly over the top of his son's head. 'It was her choice. We were together for two years but it didn't work out. She chose to return to Abydos and she left our child with me because she felt there was more opportunity for him on Earth. I disagreed, but there you go. Sha're always knew exactly what she wanted.'

Daniel snorted derisively. 'That's not the Sha're I married. She would never do that.'

A flash of anger in Dr Jackson's eyes. 'No you're right, but it is the Sha're I married and lived with as husband and wife for over two years. How long did you spend with your wife?'

Uh oh, thought both Jack and Sam, this is going to get messy.

'One year, before she was taken by the Goa'uld. I searched the universe for her. But she died, I saw her die, I couldn't save her. If she had lived and I had been able to free her from the Goa'uld, I assure you, I would not have given up on our marriage so easily!'

'How do you know that Daniel Jackson?' Jack observed that the visitor was getting upset now and doing the hand wavy thing that his Daniel had always done so appealingly. 'How can you say how long your marriage would have lasted? Weren't you already arguing over the fact that she wanted children and you didn't?'

Daniel slumped back in his chair, the fight in him all but gone. The visitor spoke more tenderly now. 'Knowing how you feel now, can you honestly say that you would have given it your all?'

Jack sucked in his breath sharply, just how close did the visitor's universe parallel their own? The jittering in his knee got worse.

Carter could not hold back her questions any longer. 'How is it that you have avoided the disease?' she burst out.

Dr Jackson turned his sad gaze to her. 'I haven't,' he said simply. With a sigh he lifted the child up and sat him on the lap of the officer sitting to his right. Then he stood and proceeded to rummage in the folds of his clothes. He drew the material apart to reveal his bare torso. Carter could not smother her gasp of shock.

The man's skin was covered in livid red streaks, forming a twisted maze of tendrils over his torso, but the skin was not broken - Carter leaned in for a closer exam and noted that the redness seemed to be coming from a growth lying underneath the skin but over the internal organs. Dr Jackson was also painfully thin, his ribs protruding with each breath.

Teal'c nodded. 'I see now why you are wearing Abydonian garb.'

Dr Jackson nodded. 'It is more comfortable to wear loose clothes.' He closed his robes.

Carter resumed her seat. 'It is painful then?'

'Not overly, at least not until the final stages,' the visitor shook his head. 'The parasite grows around the internal organs of the host, gradually wending its way up to the throat. As it consumes more room in the body there is less room for other things, such as your stomach.' He gave another rueful grin. 'Not a recommended method of weight-loss it must be said. However, it generally strangles the victim in their sleep before they actually starve to death.' He swallowed hard and the expression in his eyes defied anyone to display pity for him.

Daniel licked his dry lips. 'Mistletoe.'

Dr Jackson chuckled. 'Ah yes, the mistletoe and the oak. How appropriate. I remember Jack likened it to a boa constrictor. But then he always exaggerated the strength of his adversaries. Typical soldier tactics. Play up the enemy so your victory seems all the greater or your loss not so shameful.' He smiled wistfully at some memory and Jack felt a pang of sympathy for this man.

Daniel put his hand over his mouth and ran from the room. The room fell silent as they heard him throwing up in the corridor.

Dr Jackson took his seat again and lifted the child back onto his own lap. 'Colonel O'Neill, whilst Daniel is out of the room, I have a request to put to you.'

'Yes?' Jack drew out the word. He cast his eyes briefly towards the door then struggled to concentrate back on the man in front of him. He really wanted to leave and check on Daniel.

'My child is not a host to this disease, at least, he shows no signs of it yet. I know I will die soon, that is a given, but I can't bare the thought that he would be an orphan, as I was. This is the twenty-third universe we have visited through the mirror in the past two months, ever since I realized I had the sickness. I have been looking for a universe which most parallels my own....'

Jack snorted, he couldn't help himself. 'I've gotta say, this one must be one of the least like yours there is.'

Dr Jackson looked at him deadly serious. 'That's where you're wrong. I was not looking for a parallel situation, but parallel people. This is closest one I have found. You are so similar to the Jack O'Neill I know, that I have no qualms in asking if you would take my son and raise him as your own.'

Jack's mind reeled in shock. This was not in the least what he was expecting. He looked at Hammond who displayed an equal amount of shock and perplexity. Obviously he had not anticipated this either. Even Teal'c looked slightly stunned. Sam looked anxiously from the Colonel to the visitor and back again.

Jack played for time. 'Why me and not Daniel?'

The visitor smiled grimly. 'I know myself too well. I don't have the time to convince a Daniel Jackson to take my child, but I trust that a Jack O'Neill will meet my request now and later take the time needed and possess the sensitivity necessary to be able to persuade Daniel to accept this child as his own.'

Jack groaned. 'Okay, let me get this straight. You're saying, you know I won't say no to you, but after you're gone, I'll do my damnedest to get Daniel to take the kid.'

The visitor smiled genuinely. 'Geez Jack, I wish I had your flair for putting things so clearly.'

Jack sat back with a sigh. His head was aching. He wanted so much to go outside and make sure Daniel was okay. He had been gone way too long. He also knew he couldn't say no to the dying man sitting next to him. Jack groaned inwardly. They were all staring at him expectantly, waiting to hear his answer. Oh fer cryin' out loud, he wasn't about to deal with all this emotional stuff in front of Hammond and Teal'c and two miscellaneous officers. So Jack dealt with it the only way he could.

'Yeah, sure I'll take the kid. Give his name, rank and serial number to Carter, cos right now I'm off to make sure Daniel hasn't thrown up a vital internal organ by accident.' And with a quick nod to General Hammond, Jack made his escape.

~~~

Daniel reached the sanctuary of the corridor just in time. He threw up in a nearby storage closet, then shut the door on the rank mess and leant against the cool wall of the corridor, muttering to distract himself from the images that kept flashing in his mind. The mirror image of his own body wracked with a dreadful parasite, the knowledge that Jack had died from the same affliction. The quiet desperation in the visitor's eyes which told Daniel too clearly what he had come to ask.

He slid down the wall and hugged his knees to his chest. Running his hands up under his glasses he pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes as if that would prevent him from seeing the images again and again. He felt his throat constrict as if he too had been afflicted by the parasite and the horror induced him to crawl along the wall, open the storage closet and empty his stomach once again. Slumped against the wall, Daniel refused to listen to the little voice in his head which summoned up his compassion and empathy. He closed his mind to the thought of raising a child which was his but not his. The one image which refused to submit however, was that of his other self disappearing back through the mirror, with the child, condemning them both to certain death.

He did not notice when the door to the debriefing room flung open and Jack pounded down the corridor towards him. He did not feel his lover slip down beside him and envelop him in his strong arms, to hell with the security cameras.

What eventually did penetrate however, was the warm lips near his ear whispering reassuring words. 'It's alright, Danny, my Daniel, he didn't ask you. He asked me. He asked me. I can do it. I will take the child.'

~~~

'Don't do it Jack,' Daniel whispered.

Jack didn't reply. He wasn't sure if he had heard the shivering man correctly.

'Don't do it,' came the whisper again, no mistaking it this time. 'Daniel, it's alright, you're upset, it can do that to a person, meeting an alternate version of yourself and discovering they're dying. It's.... shocking, and unnerving. You don't have to worry, I'll take care of this.' Jack muttered the words into the silky hair as he cradled Daniel's head against his chest.

But Daniel suddenly squirmed from his embrace and leapt up from their huddle on the floor. Jack leant back against the wall, his elbows resting on his knees as he watched his lover transform in an instant from crumpled wreak to ranting, angry stranger. Daniel paced back and forth across the corridor as if only the concrete walls and the fact that they were 11 stories beneath the earth could contain his anger.

'How dare he? How dare he ask that of me? Of you, of us. How could he do this to me?' Daniel slammed an open palm into the wall above Jack's head as he whirled around and paced to the opposite side of the corridor. 'Knowing how I feel now,' he mimicked spitefully, 'how the hell does he know how I feel now? He's the All-American family guy, he's got no clue how I feel now!'

Jack held out a conciliatory hand. 'Hey, calm down Daniel. The guy is dying okay, he's just trying to do what's best for his kid. Wouldn't you do the same?' Jack frowned at his hands, that came out all wrong, it sounded as if he was accusing Daniel of being less than his alternate. 'I just mean, I know if you had a kid, you would lay down your life for it. I know that.' Jack locked the raging Daniel in a penetrating stare, 'I know that,' he repeated heavily. 'This is you.'

'No it isn't Jack!' screamed Daniel and he slammed the wall with both hands. That seemed to knock the rage from him for when he turned back to Jack, the soldier could only see a quiet desolation in those cool blue eyes. 'It isn't me, because I wouldn't have a child. Ever.'

Jack's blood ran cold, literally. He kneaded his knuckles together then rubbed his hands on his pants. The floor was suddenly as hard as granite and ice-cold. The look in Daniel's eyes was so familiar, Jack had seen it a thousand times. Every time he looked in the mirror the year after Charlie's death and realized what he had lost. A future, not just the good memories of the past. It had taken this much to bring home to Jack the revelation that Daniel had ruled out that option many years ago. God Daniel, thought Jack, did you really never imagine yourself as a father? Or was it only after a certain accident in the New York Museum? So long ago you might not remember that there once was another option rather than a life lived in a constant state of holding your breath lest the ones you love suddenly cease to exist beneath an unsightly rubble of shattered faith.

Daniel stared bleakly at a point somewhere far above Jack's head. 'I can't go back in that room Jack.'

'I wouldn't ask that of you Daniel.'

Daniel leant back against the opposite wall as if seeking out its chill. He spread his palms out against the wall he had been hitting in rage only minutes before. Then he slowly jammed his fists deep into his pockets.

'I'm going home,' not a question, just a statement of fact. Jack managed to croak out a reply all the same. 'My place or yours?'

'Mine.'

'Fine.' Jack tried not to sound curt, but neither did he want to give Daniel the impression that he thought that running away was the best method of handling the situation.

Daniel heaved a long drawn-out breath, shrugged himself up and shuffled off down the corridor. Jack leant down and rested his aching head in his hands for a moment, then dragged himself up off the floor and headed back to the conference room.

~~~

'Well, Dr Jackson, this is a very difficult situation you've put us in and I...' As Jack opened the door, General Hammond stopped in the middle of his sentence and turned around.

'Thank you, Colonel O'Neill, for rejoining us.' Hammond's tone was sincere as Jack nodded to the General and took his seat.

'General, sir, Daniel will not be returning to the meeting. He, uh, found it a little too disturbing.' Jack tried not to look at the other Daniel, but for some reason he felt compelled. In those weary blue eyes he read the understanding that had been blinkered out of the man who'd just left him in the corridor, nothing said, just a look, that was all.

Dr Jackson coughed slightly and addressed the whole table. 'My time has pretty much run out. Please, will you take me back to the mirror, so I may return to my own reality?'

Sam shot a look at the General. 'Sir, couldn't Dr Jackson remain here where we could work on a cure? Perhaps we have better facilities, perhaps we could try radical surgery...' Dr Jackson placed a soft hand over Sam's on the table.

'Sam, you know that can't happen. I can't stay here because of the probability of cascade tremors after 48 hours.'

Sam's eyes filled with tears. 'You know about that? I was hoping we could work on that too,' she joked weakly. Dr Jackson chuckled quietly. Then he grew very serious.

'Actually, I am needed back in my world. There are only a few of us left in the SGC. Dr Fraiser, Janet, is one of them. She is even closer to her time than I am, I have to go back and be with her. There's been so many times in my life when she's helped me through pain and fear and illness that I could never leave her to die alone. I couldn't, do you understand? I must go back now.'

Sam clutched Daniel's hand and nodded, fiercely biting back the urge to sob. She understood.

General Hammond coughed, unhappy to disturb this moment but there was business to attend to before the good-byes.

'Dr Jackson, there is the question of your son...'

Jack cut in. 'I already said I'll take the kid alright?' He was talking to Hammond but not taking his eyes off the other Daniel.

'You may think you are prepared to do this Colonel and were it a personal decision I probably wouldn't have a right to intervene, however,' Hammond paused and waited for Jack to look at him. He didn't. the General frowned and continued, knowing Jack didn't want to hear what he was about to say.

'This is a military and a medical issue Colonel O'Neill, I'm sorry I have to remind you of that.' Jack tore his eyes away from Daniel and tried to focus on what the General was saying.

'Firstly, this is not something I can condone in the course of duty. This request goes beyond the bounds of the commitment I would expect from my personnel. You are not obliged to comply with Dr Jackson's request neither can I, with a clear conscience, let you accept responsibility for this child, when the situation has arisen within the jurisdiction of the SGC.'

'Oh hang on a minute sir,' Jack cut through the military doublespeak. 'You let Dr Fraiser adopt Cassandra - how is this any different?'

'The difference, Colonel O'Neill, is that Dr Fraiser is first and foremost, medical personnel. She is not on active gate travel duty whereas you, Colonel, most certainly are, and so, for that matter, is our Dr Jackson.'

'And that makes a difference, how exactly?' Jack was getting annoyed now and he didn't care who knew it. Daniel gave a little smile, as if he'd watched this scene too many times before and knew how it would end. There was a quiet desperation in his eyes though which spoke of the enormity of the situation.

Jack was not the only one to be affected by the emotional strain of the meeting. Hammond began to perspire a little on his brow. 'Colonel, if you can't see how that makes a difference then maybe I shouldn't have assigned you as commander of a team!' He took out a handkerchief and mopped his brow. 'Colonel O'Neill, on every mission you and the rest of the Stargate teams risk your lives on intensive, active military duty. If your minds are not one hundred percent on the job the whole future of this planet could be thrown into jeopardy.'

'So what you're saying is we can't have families? Do I understand you correctly sir?'

'No Colonel you do not! I am saying that this decision would have far-reaching repercussions which I don't think you have even thought to consider. This is a child, Colonel O'Neill. You are making a lifetime commitment. You do know that don't you O'Neill?'

Jack could not even look at the General at that moment, such was his anger. He spread his hands flat on the table and stared at the backs of them. His voice was calm and controlled but Sam could tell that he was past outrage and into cold, white anger. 'You don't need to remind me of that fact General Hammond. I am . . . . was, already a father.'

Hammond flushed. He'd made a mistake and that he regretted, because he did like Colonel O'Neill as a friend, and there was no way he was going to get Jack to see sense now. He pressed on with his second point.

'Then there is our Dr Jackson to consider. He has not yet had the opportunity to voice an opinion regarding this matter. Don't you think he deserves a say, Colonel O'Neill, before you commit him to something like this? It seems to me that this,' he nodded to the quiet man gently whispering to his son at the end of the table, 'this Dr Jackson is making the request on the grounds that you take the child temporarily with a view to putting pressure on Daniel Jackson to accept the child as his own. This kind of collusion against a member of my personnel I find... unacceptable.'

At the mention of his name, Daniel looked up. 'I wouldn't ask, General Hammond, if I didn't know my own heart.'

Teal'c spoke up, for the first time since the visitor's purpose had come to light. 'Perhaps there are differences between our world and yours, that you cannot perceive. How can you know what Daniel Jackson is truly feeling?'

Dr Jackson smiled serenely at Teal'c. 'Oh, there are differences alright, just not where it matters,' he replied enigmatically. 'but you're right of course, I can't know absolutely whether he will accept my child, but tell me, what other option do I have?' He looked around the table. 'And what option do you have, other than to take this child as I ask? Would you really have me take him back through to my universe? Where I will die, and if he does not die from the sickness, then he will surely starve or die through misadventure with no one left to care for him? Could you live with yourselves having condemned a healthy child to death?'

Jack looked at Carter. If the situation hadn't been so tragic he would have felt the urge to quip that the man even ran the guilt trip just as well as their Daniel Jackson. Carter reached over and squeezed his hand and Jack knew she was thinking the same thing.

Dr Jackson leaned forward and made one final plea over the top of his innocent son's head. 'Please take him. Please. There's nowhere else for him.'

When nobody answered him, the dying man reached into the folds of his robes. He pulled out two envelopes. He pushed these across the table to Jack. Jack picked up the slips of paper. One was labeled 'Daniel Jackson', the other to 'Child'.

'The letter for Daniel should only be given to him if you think there is absolutely no chance that he will change his mind and accept the child as his. Please wait until you are absolutely certain, as that letter is your ace but once it's done, it's done. The other is for our child, when he comes of age.'

Jack frowned. 'How come you haven't put his name on this? Come to think of it, what is his name?'

Daniel smiled. 'In the traditions of Abydos a child is not named until his personality is clearly evident and then it is not spoken until he has had the welcoming ceremony, usually around the age of two. Our child has not had his ceremony yet, but your Daniel will know what he is to be named, when the time comes.'

'Oh, uh, good,' said Jack.

Dr Jackson rose stiffly to his feet. Although he had made light of the effects of the incurable sickness, the pain was clearly etched in his features. 'I really must go now. Please take me back to the mirror.'

The rest rose awkwardly, no one really quite sure what to say to the dying man.

He turned first to Carter. 'Sam, would you take my child down to Dr Fraiser? I'm sure she'll want to check him out, she seems to be pretty consistent in most universes.' He gave a small smile at the weak attempt at humor. Then he lowered his face and gently kissed the top of his son's head. The child looked at him and smiled back as he was handed over to Sam's waiting arms.

Jack took a step forward. This was all moving too fast. 'Hang on a minute, don't you even want to say goodbye to him, properly?' Jack's mind reeled through all the things he would have said to Charlie had he had the chance to say goodbye. All the things he would have told him. All the hugs and kisses he would have bestowed on that lively little person, and how he would never have been able to let him go. Yet here was Daniel, calmly handing over his son, knowing he would never see him again. Jack would've been screaming at this moment. Hell, he might even scream right now, if Daniel wasn't going to.

But Daniel stopped him with a gentle hand on his arm. 'It's alright Jack, we've already said our good-byes. I'm ready to let him go.' Jack looked into those familiar blue eyes and saw that Daniel was screaming already, had been screaming since he walked into that meeting, maybe since he found out he was going to die. But none of them had been listening to him. Jack felt his throat constrict. He licked his dry lips and tried to think of something appropriate, something supportive, to say. But any words he chose would just seem meaningless in the face of Daniel's sacrifice. He settled for an awkward pat on the shoulder.

Daniel looked over at General Hammond, who was getting a little misty-eyed himself.

'General Hammond, may I have a moment alone with Colonel O'Neill please? I would like to thank him properly for accepting my child, even if you decide that there's a more appropriate home for him with another family in this world.'

General Hammond nodded. 'I'll have a car prepared to transport you back to Area 51 Dr Jackson.' Hammond, Teal'c and the officers left the room, closing the door behind them.

Jack looked curiously at the other Daniel who was fiddling with a pen Carter had left on the table. He kept fiddling with it as he asked Jack a question.

'Were you surprised Jack, to hear that things did not work out between me and Sha're?'

Jack was taken aback. That was the last thing he expected to hear as Daniel's parting words. 'Thank you', maybe? 'Look after my son.' Most definitely. But whether or not he was surprised to hear of the failure of Daniel's marriage? What were this guy's priorities?

Daniel was looking at him intently so Jack stumbled out an answer. 'Yeah, maybe, a little bit I guess...' Christ Jack, he admonished himself, could you sound just a little more unconvincing? 'Actually no, Daniel I wasn't surprised, but that's because things are a bit different here.'

Daniel moved closer, dropping the pen on the table and standing in front of Jack. 'Not that different Jack.' He ran his hands down the sides of Jack's arms. Jack shivered at the touch. It was like being touched by his lover's ghost. He gently removed the hands and put them back down by Daniel's sides.

'Yes Daniel, very different. The thing is, um, here you and I are... well, we're kinda close... very close friends, more than close really, very, very close friends.' Jack was getting flustered.

'We are lovers,' Daniel leaned in and whispered close to his cheek.

'We?' breathed Jack.

'You and I Jack, in both our worlds.' Daniel's warm breath fluttered against his cheek. Jack felt the familiar stirrings in his groin that his Daniel could always induce with a mere glance in his direction, let alone standing so close to him, he just had to turn his head and their lips would brush together.... Enough! Jack told himself. Even though this is also Daniel, it would be disloyal to 'his' Daniel, wouldn't it? It wouldn't feel right, his common sense told him even as his groin told him it felt exactly right. Jack resisted.

'What do you want from me?' he asked the young man in front of him, his voice heavy with desire.

Daniel grinned impishly and Jack felt his resolve weaken along with his knees. Surely he could be forgiven for giving a few moments of pleasure to a dying man who was really the same person as his lover...

'I just wanted to make sure I was right. I am sure now.' Daniel stepped back. 'I'm assuming you have security cameras in here.'

Jack gulped. Geez, what he had been about to do... what Daniel did to him! Realistically, Jack knew that there would come a day when his and Daniel's relationship was discovered at the SGC and it wouldn't be Daniel who let it slip. It's just when it came to his handsome young lover, Jack's discretion flew out the window. He was forever jumping down Daniel's throat for imagined indiscretions when it was Jack himself who was being too obvious.

Daniel took his hand firmly in his cool grasp. 'I have to go now.'

Jack swallowed and nodded. 'I'll just stay here for a little bit, I think...' Jack's hand tightened around Daniel's. He really didn't want to let him go. Daniel nodded.

He gently removed his hand from Jack's grasp and brushed passed him walking towards the door, the faint swish of his robes and the hiss of the door easing shut behind him.

Jack crumpled into a chair. What he really wanted to do was put his arms down on the table and rest his head on them and... well.. cry. Either that or punch something, but he was a Colonel in the United States Airforce and he didn't do things like that. So instead he sat still, virtually smiling for the cameras, whilst on the inside he was breaking up. Jack didn't know why he should feel this way. It wasn't as if 'his' Daniel was dying. He only knew he hadn't felt so sad since the first time he visited his son's grave.

In the silence of the meeting room, Jack wished Daniel a safe journey.

~~~

Daniel couldn't remember leaving the SGC. He couldn't remember the drive home or walking up the stairs to his apartment. He'd done all that on automatic, his rage counting the steps for him. But now he was inside his apartment, standing in his lounge-room, wondering what the hell he was going to do.

Seeking comfort in the familiar, Daniel hazily walked into his kitchen and turned on the coffee maker. He leant his forehead against the fridge, trying to block out the ache in his head - that was the ache he could at least do something about.

Rage wasn't a familiar emotion to Daniel. He felt it only occasionally and under extreme provocation. He liked it to be justifiable. He didn't like to think of himself as an angry type of man. He'd felt like this maybe half a dozen times in his life. When he saw what Apophis had done to Sha're, when the sound frequencies on the plant planet started killing that race of gentle people and messing with his head, when Apophis was there in the SGC's own infirmary, when Teal'c killed Sha're, once in the first month after his parents died and once when he was eleven and he'd seen his foster brother kill a cat in their garden. Those times were justifiable weren't they? Any normal person would have felt the same combination of helplessness, fear, powerlessness and hatred. And rage.

But that was exactly what he felt now, and it definitely wasn't justifiable. A dying man just trying to save his son from the same fate. Or worse. No one else in that meeting became angry, they all had the very appropriate reactions of sympathy, pity, compassion. Daniel tried so hard to analyze his own reaction. The fridge was cool against his flushed skin. A cold shower, that might work. At least give him a chance to calm down and think this through rationally. He really didn't like feeling this way. Daniel was by nature, a gentle man.

He ignored the hissing coffee maker and started stripping off his clothes as he stumbled towards the bathroom. By the time he reached the shower cubicle he was naked. Daniel paused to take off his glasses and leave them on the shelf over the sink. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. It wasn't a pretty sight.

His eyes were rimmed with red where he had been crying. His hair was askew and his skin looked as if he could use a good sleep, not for the first time he felt a twinge of dislike for the man in the mirror. This mirror.

Daniel drew back the sliding door and stepped into the shower. The blast of cold water was the sharp shock he had been longing for. He tilted his face up to the shower rose and let the jets of water beat down on his eyes and cheeks. An old, old memory unfolded and stretched in the hidden recesses of his mind. He was six. His father was holding the watering can above his head, pouring the precious water down onto his son. Daniel was laughing and trying to catch the drops before they fell on his upturned face. Some fell in his mouth and they tasted sweet in the hot Egyptian sun. His legs were dusty with sand and his bare chest tanned from years spent in the desert climate.

Daniel closed his eyes as he let the long-forgotten memory wash over him, but, as always, he couldn't stop it there. He remembered when the water had run out and his father put down the can, patted his son on the head and walked away. Daniel was left to look after himself in an empty tent, his parents both out on the dig, doing too many far more important things to bother with their son. He remembered hiding from the market boys who yelled insults that his parents didn't understand but Daniel did. He remembered long airless days with only books for company. Daniel wished, not for the first time, that he could only have good memories of his parents. It seemed such an awful, ungrateful thing for him to always bring up their faults when they were dead and never had a chance to make it better. Daniel wondered if deep down he was actually a pretty terrible person. These self doubts had always plagued him, it seemed he was always trying to atone for them by doing what seemed to be the 'right' thing, the 'good' thing, what a compassionate person would do. When he felt this rage, it always occurred to him that maybe this was the real heart of Daniel Jackson. That scared him.

It was always Jack who brought him back when he ran from himself. Jack who had unquestioning faith in him as a human being. Jack who believed he was the conscience, the soul of the team, a title Daniel would never accept he deserved. Daniel rested his forehead against the shower wall. He wanted Jack now. He wanted Jack there to hold him and reassure him that it was okay to be angry, that he still a good person underneath. He wanted Jack's strong arms there, supporting him, keeping him upright lest he fall into that dark hole again.

Daniel wrapped his own arms around himself, but they were a poor substitute. Wasn't it about time he started to get himself through these moments? He was a grown man for cryin' out loud. It was about time he stopped running to Jack for affirmation. Wasn't that why he had walked away from Jack's comforting embrace in the corridor of the SGC? It was time he learnt the truth about himself, time he saw just how far he could fall, and whether he had the will to climb back out himself. It was crazy, here he was, a grown man of thirty four, and he was still looking for a father. A father with a perpetually full watering can.

Daniel turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. He was shivering with cold but he didn't reach for a towel. He walked straight down the hall into his bedroom and climbed into bed, not caring that he made the sheets damp. The coldness was comforting. Appropriate. He curled up on his side and stared at the wall.

~~~

Colonel Jack O'Neill strode down to the infirmary. At this moment, he was fully composed. Maybe later, when he got to Daniel's place, he would let himself release some of the emotions he'd been experiencing today, but for now there was duty to attend to.

He strode into the infirmary. Major Carter and Dr Fraiser were standing by one of the beds. On the bed sat the child, relieved of his heavy robes and as naked as the day he was born. Jack felt his composure begin to crack.

The child was the very image of Daniel. Physically, he was dark like Sha're, with downy black hair lightly covering his head. But his eyes were large and blue and they darted all over the place, just like Daniel's, trying to make sense of the world around him and eager to absorb everything. Devouring the world and begging for more. His posture was all Daniel too. The little boy sat up straight and alert, his hands reaching out, inquisitive fingers gently touching Dr Fraiser's stethoscope, without the slight hesitance experience had ingrained in his father. He pulled at some instrument on Dr Fraiser's tray when she wasn't looking and visibly jumped, looking up guiltily with startled blue eyes, when the metal instrument clattered to the floor. Yep, though Jack, just like Daniel.

Janet and Sam were so busy doting over the child, they didn't even turn around when Jack stepped up to the bed.

'Didn't pick you for the maternal type Carter,' Jack quipped.

Sam and Janet looked up. 'Who me sir? You're the one who just volunteered for instant fatherhood.'

'He's just on loan Carter.' Jack looked at the child who was staring at him wide-eyed. 'Just until Daniel gets used to the idea.'

Janet looked concerned. 'What if he doesn't get used to the idea Colonel? It is not SG-1's role to collect orphans from across the universe.'

Jack couldn't believe he was hearing this from Dr Fraiser of all people. 'Then we'll find a home for him. I would have thought you would understand Dr Fraiser, that we couldn't condemn this child to almost certain death.'

The boy chose that moment to reach out and grab hold of Jack's shirt. Carter smiled.

'I think he likes you sir.'

'Yeah, well.., I'm a likeable kinda guy. How long do we have to keep him here in the infirmary?'

Dr Fraiser started pulling some baby clothes out of a plastic bag. 'Well, I'd like to be one hundred percent certain he isn't infected with this Goa'uld sickness and I'll need some time to devise an accurate test. So I'd expect to keep him here at least a week and then if he turns out to be healthy, well, we'll go from there.'

Carter ruffled his hair. 'He seems pretty healthy.' She turned to Jack. 'How do you think Daniel is doing? He looked pretty upset when he walked out. Maybe I should go over to his place and make sure he's okay.'

'No Carter, it's alright, I'm heading over there now, I'll check on him.'

'Well, if you're sure sir...'

'Trust me Carter, Daniel just needs a little time to get used to the idea. You heard the man, I possess the necessary sensitivity to convince him of anything.' Jack raised an eyebrow.

'And what if you don't Colonel?'

'You doubting me Carter?'

~~~

When Jack reached Daniel's apartment all the lights were off and his knock went unanswered. Luckily, he had his own key, he just didn't like walking straight in like he owned the place. Although he and Daniel had been together a few months, they were still working out the boundaries of the relationship.

The lounge-room and kitchen were dark and silent but for the hissing of the coffee machine which Jack immediately went over to and switched off. He turned on the lights, closed the curtains and noticed on the floor the debris from Daniel's traveling strip. He followed the trail of clothes to the bathroom and peeked in. No Daniel.

Finally Jack tried the bedroom. When he opened the door he immediately picked out the outline of Daniel's huddled form under the blankets on the far side of the bed, curled up with his back to the door.

'Daniel,' whispered Jack. No answer. 'Daniel?'

Jack walked over to the bed and sat down on what he had rapidly come to think of as 'his' side.

'Daniel, we need to talk.' He laid a hand on the sheets covering the still form. They were cold and damp. He pulled back the sheet from Daniel's shoulder and felt the man's skin. It was clammy. 'Geez Daniel, you trying to make yourself sick?'

'Go away Jack,' came the muffled reply.

'Look at me Daniel.' The younger man made no attempt at movement. 'Alright, have it your way.' Jack got up, walked around the bed and squatted down next to Daniel's side.

Daniel was wide awake, the sheets drawn right up, cocooning him against the world.

Jack resisted the urge to lay a hand on his cheek, realizing that Daniel was in no mood for human contact, even if he was.

'Daniel, we need to talk about this.'

'Jack, I don't want that child to come anywhere near me.'

'Daniel listen...'

'No Jack, you listen. It was another me, in another universe, who chose to become a father. I did not choose that path, okay. I made that decision a long time ago. If you want to take on that child, that's your decision, but I don't want it anywhere near me.'

Jack was silent. He had no idea what was going on with Daniel but he had one last card to play tonight and then he would give them both a little space. He hoped it would work because he really didn't want to spend tonight alone. He wanted Daniel's arms wrapped around him, the warmth of his lover's thigh lying next to his, the scent of Daniel in his sheets. The meeting with the visitor today had made clear to him how precious their time together was and he didn't want to waste a single night.

'Daniel, I never thought I'd be the one saying this to you, but show a little compassion. That child is an orphan now, whether he knows it or not. Questions will come later and you are the person most equipped to help him deal with the trauma he will go through. You've been there Daniel. Don't you want to make it a little easier for someone else?'

Daniel's voice was harsh in reply. 'That's exactly why I can't do it Jack. Would you want to play counselor to another guy who's kid shot himself with his own gun?'

Daniel rolled over and turned his back to his lover. Jack could not have felt worse if Daniel had spat in his face. He stumbled to his feet and left the room. There was nothing more to be said.

~~~

Jack threw himself down on Daniel's couch. There was no way he could drive home now, he was so angry he'd probably drive right up the back of a bus.

Where did Daniel get off talking to him like that? Jack was only trying to help him and he just shoved it all back in his face. He tried to feel sympathy for his lover, he really did. It must have been a huge shock to meet an alternate version of himself, one which made him feel so inadequate and one which had asked so much of him. But Jack had taken on the burden, he had offered to take the kid and damnit, if Daniel wasn't prepared to be a father to it then Jack damn well would!

He'd done it before, he could do it again. The catch was, it could very well mean losing Daniel, and Jack wasn't sure whether he could survive that.

Jack's eyes roamed around Daniel's lounge-room, looking for something to take his mind off the choices which were giving him grief. Ever since he'd become closer to Daniel, Jack had spent more and more time in this strange apartment. His own house Jack considered to be Daniel's as much as his, it was just a house after all. But this apartment was always clearly marked down as Daniel's domain. Jack found it hard to feel comfortable here without the presence of Daniel to distract him. To be frank he found it a little creepy, all these statues and trinkets, leering down from shelves, overflowing bookcases, too many books not in English, too many books full stop, a kinda musty, museum smell, no TV. But the creepiest aspect was that although it was crammed full of Daniel-type things, antiques, trinkets, junk - there was nothing very personal. No photos, no trophies, no lists of phone numbers stuck to the fridge, no mugs with goofy mottos, no reminder boards, none of the stuff which made a house seem homey.

Jack heaved himself up off the couch and started to have a nosey around. There had to be something around which could give him a clue to Daniel's state of mind. He started with the book shelves. Dozens of heavy tomes concerning various ancient worlds, leather-bound antique volumes, dog-eared philosophy paperbacks, sci-fi novels (Jack stored that one away for future reference. He resolved to casually slip a video of Star Trek on the next time Daniel was suffering through watching the game with him on a Saturday afternoon, just to see what would happen).

But no photo albums, no bundles of letters, no postcards used as book marks. Jack moved on to the shelves of trinkets. He gently prised open intricately carved chests and painted boxes, most were empty, a few held more junk. With each item Jack mentally mapped the journeys that Daniel must have made in his life before joining the SGC. Here was something from Egypt, there was something which looked Latin American, here was an Indonesian mask, there was a Masai necklace. Jack felt like the whole world was watching him go through Daniel's stuff. So he stopped, feeling more than a little ashamed to be rifling through his lover's life. But how else was he going to find out how to get through to the idiot geek? Trouble was, Daniel wore his morals on his sleeve most of the time and if he felt someone needed help or a situation needed rectifying, he was damn well going to make sure the whole team knew it, but he was also very good at hiding his own feelings and troubles. It scared Jack when he felt powerless to help the one he loved.

In the corridor that afternoon he had just sat there whilst Daniel worked himself up into a rage, because he didn't know what words to say to make it all better. He'd thought he did, but it seemed Daniel found the idea of Jack bringing up the child almost as abhorrent as taking the child himself. Jack had been at a loss, he had no control over the situation. Usually he liked that with Daniel. The way the younger, more passionate man could, with one look, one touch, make him lose all control of his own inhibitions, make him crave insatiably, make him hungry. Daniel was the only person to whom he could relinquish all control and not care if he got it back in one piece afterwards.

If only he could find the key to unlocking Daniel's control, to getting Daniel to trust him so completely that the man would let Jack help him work through his demons.

Funny way to get a guy's trust Jack, snooping through his stuff. Jack's face burned red and he was overcome with hopelessness, loving Daniel was a complicated thing. He thumped the flat of his hand against the wall. It shook the bookcase and for one awful second Jack thought the whole lot was going to come tumbling down on top of him.

As he put out his hands to steady the shelves, an object caught the corner of Jack's eye. At last, a photograph! Wedged down between the shelf and the wall as if it had fallen down and Daniel hadn't missed it enough to rescue it.

Jack carefully eased it out. It was a little creased and faded but the image was still powerful. A man in Egyptian dress, but clearly not Egyptian by race, crouched down by a rectangular hole in the orange dirt. His head was bent over the hole, his face obscured by a large sunhat. He was pointing at a half uncovered object in the bottom of the hole. Squatting by his side was his pupil. A little boy of no more than five or six, in faded shorts with bare feet and long, sun-bleached, fly-away hair. The boy was not looking in the direction his teacher was pointing. He was staring at the man's hidden face. The boy's features were clear and open. He gazed at the man with idolising, admiring eyes. At once Jack knew this man could do no wrong in the boy's eyes. A hesitant smile played on the lips of the child, as if he wanted to please but wasn't quite sure how to do it. Jack felt as if he had stumbled on something intensely private which he had no business looking at.

'Why are you still here?' A sleepy voice from the doorway. Jack hastily tucked the photograph inside his jacket and turned around.

Daniel was standing there, completely naked and blinking owlishly in the sudden light.

'I heard a bang.'

'It was the bookcase,' Jack gripped the shelf for support. How was it Daniel could look this good having just woken up? And he wasn't even aware of it, that was half the trouble. 'You know me and bookcases, we don't see eye to eye.' Jack cursed inwardly. Daniel was giving him the old 'don't give me that bullshit' look.

Daniel leaned tiredly against the doorway.

'Jack please, I think we need some time out, don't you? Why don't you go home?'

'I'd rather talk, if you're ready now.' Jack moved over to the couch and sat down. He patted the cushion invitingly. Daniel eyed him suspiciously.

'I thought you'd be ready to knock my block off for that crack about the counselling.'

Jack winced at the memory. The problem with letting people get under your skin so completely was that it also gave them the power to hurt you more than anyone else ever could.

'It was a low blow Daniel, but you've had a rough day so.... Let's just start again huh?' Jack wasn't going to beg but he would give Daniel one last chance to open up here and now. Daniel remained in the doorway. He hugged his arms around himself and stayed silent. Jack took a deep breath.

'Okay, if that's where you feel comfortable.... Daniel, I'm just going to come right out and ask you straight. Why are you so against being some sort of guardian to this child?'

'Why are you so keen on being a father to it?' Daniel shot back, his eyes flaring up again. He took a step back into the shadows of the hallway.

Jack had not expected his question to be answered with a question, and particularly not that question.

'What do you mean Daniel?'

The voice came from the shadows, low and controlled. 'I mean, you find it very difficult to accept my personal choice not to desire a dependent, but you seem unnaturally keen to take this burden on yourself. I'm wondering why? That's all, it's a simple question, much more simple than the one you asked me.'

Desire a dependent? Take this burden? Daniel was calling it everything but what it was. A child, an orphan. Jack swallowed hard. If this was what it took then so be it, he could bare his soul to the man he loved. 'I've been a father before Daniel. I loved it, my son was the most important thing in my life for ten years. It was the making of me and so when he died, it destroyed me. I miss Charlie and I always will, but I also miss the every-day reality of being a Dad. You don't know what you're missing Daniel.' The last bit had slipped out before Jack could catch it. He wasn't having a good day as far as saying the right thing was concerned.

The man in the shadows heaved a sigh. Jack heard the heavy footsteps move down the hall and the door to Daniel's bedroom close with a resounding thump.

Jack decided, better late than never, that he should probably go home. Before leaving he slipped the key off his key ring and left it sitting on the kitchen tabletop. He closed the door behind him, knowing he could not return now without an invitation from the occupant and that didn't look likely.

~~~

When Daniel woke up the next morning he felt very cold. He'd grown used to sleeping with Jack's warm body next to him. Funny how quickly a person forgets what it's like to sleep alone, even if you've lived that way most of your life. He rolled out of bed and groped for his glasses on the floor.

Dragging his robe around himself, Daniel shuffled out into the lounge where weak sunlight filtered through the crack in the curtains. Who had drawn those curtains? It hadn't been Daniel, he always left curtains to their own devices. It dawned on him that it must have been Jack when he came in last night. Daniel felt a twinge of affection for how Jack had started implementing little changes in Daniel's lifestyle since they had become lovers. Just small things, such as leaving 'his' glass at Daniel's place because the scientist never had glasses big enough to hold an entire bottle of Jack's favourite beer. Or drawing the curtains at night and opening them in the morning, or keeping books off the couch and on the table so that there was enough space for two people to sit down. Just small things, but things which had begun to feel natural to Daniel. He knew Jack didn't feel entirely comfortable at his apartment which was why they spent much more time at Jack's place. So he had been glad when Jack had made attempts at 'personalising' Daniel's abode.

He shuffled through to the kitchen and was about to start making coffee when he noticed a small silver object sitting on the counter. The spare key to his place which he had given Jack straight after they got together, even though last night was the first time his lover had used it.

He picked it up and rubbed it between his fingers. It seemed Jack had made his decision. At least that saved Daniel the trouble of pushing Jack away so he could work through this on his own - no sense in pushing someone who's running in the opposite direction as fast as they can. Now he really would learn if he could survive on his own.

~~~

When Colonel Jack O'Neill arrived bright and early at the SGC, the first place he went was the infirmary.

He was surprised to find Carter and Teal'c already there, standing with Dr Fraiser, chatting and watching the child at play through an observation window. As Jack walked up, Dr Fraiser was speaking.

'Developmentally he's pretty forward for what we would expect from a child his age. He's alert and conscious of his world and seems fairly inquisitive by nature...'

'Of course he is, he's got the space-monkey genes hasn't he?' Jack stood next to the group and looked through the glass. Dr Fraiser gave him a careful look.

'I didn't want to assume that the universe he comes from is physiologically identical to ours, quite apart from the fact that he is genetically half Abydonian.'

'The people of Abydos were human too Dr Fraiser, so was the 'other' Daniel, come to that.' Jack was impatient with all this 'testing.' It was quite obvious that this was just a normal kid, well . . as normal as offspring from Daniel Jackson could be, give or take a few neuroses.

Carter turned to Jack and smiled. 'You're really keen for Daniel to take him on aren't you Colonel?'

'I just think it's a pretty simple equation that's all. Kid has no parents, kid needs a home, kid happens to share genes with a member of SG-1, kid could be looked after by said member, said member could benefit if he would only open his eyes a little.'

'I do not believe it is that simple O'Neill,' spoke Teal'c. 'On Chu'lak adoption can be a very complicated process. I understand that it may be the same here on Earth. It is also a lifelong commitment.'

'But we're not really talking about adoption here Teal'c. This kid is genetically Daniel's son.'

Teal'c nodded to show that he accepted this reasoning. 'However, Daniel Jackson has not chosen to become a father.'

'Daniel will change his mind, believe me, I'm working on it.'

'Why is it so important to you O'Neill, that Daniel Jackson accept this child?'

Jack balked at facing this question for the second time in 24 hours. He turned from Teal'c's seemingly omnipotent gaze and pressed his forehead up against the glass. The child was playing with some colourful building blocks. He wasn't adept at constructing a tower yet and looked puzzled every time his creation tumbled over. Jack smiled. 'I guess I remember how great it was to be a dad and I don't want Daniel to miss out on that experience.'

'But it is still Daniel Jackson's choice.'

Of course Jack knew that. He was just going to give it his best shot that was all.

But then Carter had to put her two cents in.

'Sir, did you mean it when you said you would take the child until such time as Daniel changes his mind, if in fact he ever does?'

'Of course I meant it Carter. You don't make promises to a dying man you don't intend to keep.'

'I was just wondering how much of you wanted this child for Daniel and how much of you wanted it for you, sir.'

'Carter you've been reading too many psycho-babble journals.'

'Actually, sir I do have a qualification in psychology as I think I've told you before. But I also have good observational skills...'

'Is that so Carter, maybe you could employ them in your work a little more often...'

Janet tapped on the glass and waved to the child. 'Actually, I think the two year old in there is acting a lot more adult than the people out here. Don't you have another planet to explore or something?' She walked into the room and picked up the child.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

Carter looked suitable chastened.

'Has anybody actually seen Daniel today?' Jack thought he would try to have another talk to the space-monkey before they gated out later that morning.

'I believe he is in his office O'Neill. I spoke with him earlier.'

Jack didn't want to know what Teal'c and Daniel had found to talk about. Well, no, he did want to know because he assumed it was concerning him. He knew that Carter and Teal'c knew about him and Daniel. But the good thing about the closeness of their team was that no one had had to come out and say it in the open. They all just carried on as usual.

Jack headed down to Daniel's lab.

~~~

Occasionally, Jack felt that he was unintentionally given a glimpse of the mental inner sanctum of Daniel Jackson. It wasn't something he looked for specifically, but sometimes it fell in his lap and he wasn't about to ignore what he learned in those moments. It could happen when they were in bed together, Daniel asleep and Jack wide awake, watching the expressions on his lover's face as he moved through a dream. It had happened a couple of times when Jack had become aware of Daniel staring at him as they watched ice hockey, or rather, Jack watched ice hockey and Daniel watched him. Sometimes when they had just had really intense sex, a post-orgasmic Daniel would be so relaxed he would let things slip, little snippets of memories that Jack catalogued and kept safe should Daniel ever need them.

This morning he was awarded with another.

When Jack reached the open door of Daniel's lab, he pulled up sharply and stayed in the doorway.

Daniel was pulling books off his storage shelves, one by one, flipping through them and casting them aside rapidly. He kept running his hands over the higher shelves he couldn't see onto without something to stand on. After a minute of this he bent down and started madly rummaging through boxes of files and documents, not caring whether things were put back in their rightful place. He ran his hands through his hair in a frustrated fashion.

'Lost something?' Jack stepped into the office. He tried to keep his tone light and friendly.

Daniel dropped the file he was holding and spun around to face the door, his face was a picture of panic. Jack surmised that it must be something pretty important.

Then the wall went up and the scientist became 'casual Daniel' again.

'Oh no, not really, just a report I thought I'd filed here but it must be at home. Damn!'

Oh Daniel, that line doesn't fool an old hand like me, Jack thought, I know you never give two hoots about where your reports end up just so long as you don't have to spend more than half an hour writing them.

Jack stepped up to the flustered man and put a hand on his shoulder fully expecting it to be shaken off. It wasn't.

'Will you be right to go on this mission today?'

Daniel heaved a sigh and slipped gracefully from Jack's care. 'Sure, I'm fine. Always up for a bit of interplanetary travel.' He didn't even attempt to smile at his own weak quip.

'Daniel,' Jack blocked the escape route to the door. Daniel took a defensive position behind his desk. For cryin' out loud, thought Jack, when did they start employing tactical maneuvers when holding a conversation? Had the barriers really been built that fast since last night? 'Daniel, we need to talk. Will you come back to my place tonight? Please.'

Daniel looked down and fiddled with a journal on his desk. 'Jack, I don't think there's any point. I won't change my mind on this matter. I'd prefer it of course if you didn't believe I was some terrible, heartless monster for making this decision, but your intention tonight would not be to try to understand my point of view, would it? It would be to try to bring me around to the choice you think I should make.'

'Well obviously Daniel!' Jack nearly exploded. 'You haven't thought about this at all. You didn't even stick around to hear what your 'other' self had to request. You just assumed he was going to ask you to adopt his child. Didn't you! Didn't you?'

Daniel rose to the bait. 'Of course, and that's what he did ask didn't he.'

'No Daniel, he didn't. Actually he asked me to take the kid. He knew you'd never agree.' Jack tried to keep any sense of triumph out of his voice - for this to work Daniel had to believe he was getting the full version.

Daniel left the journal alone and looked up in surprise. 'You? He asked you instead of me?'

'Apparently things were more similar in his universe than we thought,' Jack raised his eyebrows to make sure Daniel got the message, 'he asked me because he trusted me.' Well, that was true, it just wasn't the whole truth, Jack knew he was treading a fine line here.

Daniel sank into his chair. He ran his hand through his hair. 'Why would I ask you?' He sounded extremely perplexed. 'I knew I, he, was going to ask me, that's what I would've...' He looked up at Jack, his soft blue eyes suddenly stricken with a revelation. 'I don't even trust myself,' he blurted out. 'I don't even trust myself.' He repeated in a quieter tone.

Hang on, thought Jack, that wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to come to that conclusion, it was just meant to take the pressure off for a bit, maybe raise a bit of the green eyed monster so he would start to realise what he was missing out on... Jack mentally slapped himself around the head. What a shmuck he was to think he could try to predict the twists and turns of Daniel's inner logic! Jack resolved then and there he was not going to attempt emotional manipulation again except when strictly supervised by Carter.

'Whoa just a second, Daniel, I don't think that was what you, he, the 'other' Daniel meant.'

Daniel put his head in his hands. 'Of course it was Jack. I know myself better than anyone. There's no way I would trust myself to raise a child.' He was almost lost now. Jack tried frantically to think of a way to reach this desolate man and pull him back from the brink.

'Come on, the very fact that you think like that is evidence that you probably would make a good parent. Too many people jump in without comprehending the enormity of the commitment.'

Daniel gave a short mirthless laugh. 'You think this is just nerves Jack? You think I'm just scared of the commitment?' He lifted his head and looked at the man who stood before him. He reached out and grabbed hold of Jack's hand. 'Jack, maybe those were the fears you had for impending fatherhood when you and Sara made that decision. But you grew up with a mother and a father and a white picket fence and a dog that came when you called his name in the yard after school. The only worries you had were whether you could live up to the example set by your own parents. Am I right Jack?'

Jack felt way out of his depth. He knew he was about to learn something about Daniel he wasn't particularly well-equipped to deal with.

Daniel gripped his hand tightly like a lifeline. He stared at their hand linked together, as if he didn't know how to let go. He licked his dry lips and raised those sad blue eyes to gaze into Jack's worried brown ones.

'Jack, he did exactly the right thing. I'm the last person who should look after that child. I don't know what a father is.'

~~~

A quick knock on the door of the lab and then Carter poked her head in. 'Daniel, mission briefing in half an hour, oh!' She quickly took in the scene of Daniel sitting at his desk clutching the hand of Jack who wore an expression like Daniel had just confessed to killing small animals in his spare time. 'Oh, sorry, I didn't realise...' she tried to back out as quickly as possible.

'Carter, it's alright,' called Jack wearily. 'Carter?'

She poked her head back around the door. 'Yes, Colonel?'

Jack looked into Daniel's eyes. They begged him to give some sort of sign, to let the man in front of him know Jack didn't think him a freak.

'We'll be there in a minute.'

She grinned. 'You've got thirty of them Sir, I always give Daniel a bit of advance warning so he can get there on time.' She disappeared from the doorway.

Jack turned back to Daniel, who had let go of his hand and was hugging his arms around himself in that classic Daniel defensive posture.

'Daniel, I can...'

But Daniel didn't let him finish. He rocked once and then shot up from his desk and started pacing around. Jack was getting a sense of déjà vu. 'Why did you let me think that I was the one he asked to take the kid? For a whole day and night! Why would you do something so cruel?'

'Daniel I never said it was down to you alone!' This was really not going how Jack had planned. He despaired of ever reconciling with Daniel completely. 'We can do this together!'

Daniel stopped by his bookshelf. He rubbed his hand over the spines of the ancient texts as if seeking physical comfort from the things he could always rely on. As quickly as his rage developed so it was spent. 'Jack, you'd better go and get ready for this mission. I've got some stuff to prepare.' Jack stood by the desk, not moving.

'Just go Jack. Someone like you cannot help me.'

Jack thumped the desk once to ease his frustration, then he stormed out the door.

Daniel Jackson slipped to the floor. He tucked up his knees to his chest and rested his forehead on his arms. It was not getting any easier.

~~~

It was meant to be a fairly simple recon mission to a world which had previously been inhabited but was now just a small collection of ruined temples and villages. It was suspected the Goa'uld had plundered this world and taken the people as hosts. SG-1 were just there to take a look at a few murals in the temples which an earlier exploratory SG team had identified, and get back in time for supper as it were. Jack liked these kinds of missions every once in a while - it broke up the monotony of 'arrive in a world, save the inhabitants from the vile Goa'uld and get the hell outa dodge' kinda scenarios.

So here he was, passing the time in a big old temple watching Daniel make scratchings on his notepad while Teal'c and Carter scouted around the hills. Jack leaned against a pillar and propped his feet up on one of the big old stone tablets scattered around on the floor. He watched Daniel at work. He'd been very quiet so far, head down , straight to work kind of thing, for once not even attempting to convince anyone of the significance of the pictographs covering the walls. As if he'd finally realised the fruitlessness of the exercise.

Jack gazed at the hunched over form through half-closed eyes, observing the way the man rocked back on his heels every now and again to contemplate, then ducked his head and crouched over, furiously scribbling answers and notes. There was something calming about the reliable regularity of the sequence of movements. He used the time to think about what he would say if Daniel actually did as he had asked and arrived at his house that night, ready to talk. He seriously doubted if that would happen but if the opportunity presented itself, Jack was damn sure he was going to say the right thing this time.

As much as he hated to admit it, Carter had been spot on when she had asked him that morning about his motivations for getting Daniel to accept the child. Okay, he could admit that maybe the idea having the junior space-monkey hang around permanently appealed to him because it would give him a chance to do all the stuff he'd missed since Charlie had died, and because, though for all the world he would not let Carter know this, he really enjoyed being a father. So maybe he was influenced ever so slightly by his own desires. But a large part of it was also that he just reckoned a space-monkey kid needed a space-monkey father and that kid was Daniel through and through. Who else was going to understand him? If he could just get Daniel to see that, maybe then they could work through the other stuff together. The one thing Jack knew for sure was that he didn't want to risk losing his lover over this. Maybe he should give the 'softly, softly' approach another go? Forget about who was going to take the kid for a while and concentrate on getting Daniel to just go and see him at least. Maybe once Daniel got to know the kid he'd see how alike they were...

Jack was startled out of his musings by Daniel suddenly, snapping closed his notebook, standing up and dusting off his trousers.

'All done then?' Jack hopped down off the tablet he'd been resting on. Daniel shrugged. 'I need a bit of fresh air. I'm going out to take a break and work out whether it's worth our while coming back for another mission.' He shuffled out of the temple into the bright sunlight. Jack followed him.

Exiting the temple he found Daniel already ensconced on a low stone wall flipping through his notes. Jack heaved himself up on the wall next to the silent man and kicked his feet casually against the stones. Daniel didn't look up.

Jack sighed and reached into his interior jacket pocket, meaning to take out his own notebook (two could play at that game and Jack was sure he could find something worthwhile to write down - like his shopping list maybe), but his fingers felt something thin and smooth. It was the photo he had taken from Daniel's apartment. He'd meant to slip it onto Daniel's desk some time today, since he wasn't going to get a chance to return it to his apartment. Jack had decided that the best tactic would be subterfuge and then the 'plead dumb ignorance' routine which was always Jack's specialty. Now a thought occurred to him.

Slowly he slipped the photo out of his pocket and held it in his hands in front of him. He pretended to study it, tilting it ever so slightly in Daniel's direction. It wasn't long before the space-monkey's natural curiosity got the better of him. Oh, Jack knew Daniel too well. What'sa matter Daniel? Didn't you ever hear that curiosity killed the cat? Jack pretended not to notice as Daniel took a sly sideways peek.

'Where the hell did you get that?!' Daniel exploded and nearly fell off the wall. He grabbed onto the stones to steady himself and lost hold of his notebook in the process. But he took no notice of the papers scattering all over the ground. He snatched the photo from Jack's hands. 'I was looking everywhere for that this morning and all the time you had it!'

Well, that opened a can of worms didn't it, Jack silently congratulated himself.

'Oh, I rescued it from being eaten by your bookcase last night. Gotta watch those things Daniel, bookcases have a very nasty and vindictive streak. Must have slipped it into my pocket by accident for safe keeping. I was going to return it to you today but, you know, you had other things on your mind...' Jack tried hard to keep it casual.

Daniel narrowed his eyes. 'For safe keeping by accident. Right.'

Not much gets by you does it Danny-boy. Jack shoved his hands in his pockets. 'So why were you looking for it today? Considering where I found it I would've guessed you hadn't looked at it for a very long time.'

Daniel sighed and rubbed his thumb across the image, trying to smooth out the creases. 'I thought it might help you try to understand me.'

'A picture may be worth a thousand words Daniel, but in this case I'd go for the words.'

Daniel held the photo back in front of Jack's view. 'What do you get from looking at that picture? What would you say about the relationship between those two people?'

Jack paused to think carefully about his choice of words before speaking. 'I'd say the boy thinks a lot of the man. I'd say he really admires him and wants to please him.'

Daniel made no reaction to this. 'And what about the man?'

Jack didn't know quite what to say, the man's face was obscured.

'Would you say perhaps, that he was very involved in his work?'

Jack considered this. 'Maybe,' he conceded.

Daniel studied the photo himself. 'This is a photo of me and my father,' he said finally.

'Yeah, no kidding Daniel I'd kinda guessed that.' Jack cursed his quick mouth.

But Daniel didn't seem annoyed by the sarcasm, more amused really. 'It's funny really, because if I didn't know better I wouldn't have come to that conclusion. I would have said a teacher and his student.'

Jack was taken aback by this accurate description of his first interpretation when he had seen the photo back in Daniel's apartment.

Daniel continued. 'I don't remember this photo being taken.' He sounded as if he thought this was a personal failing on his behalf.

'You look pretty young Daniel.' As always, Jack tried to provide his friend with some reassurance, even if it hardly ever came out like it was supposed to sound.

Daniel licked his lips and hesitated. 'I have memories from an earlier age than that Jack, it's just that they're all the same.'

'What do you mean?'

'It's only the bad stuff. They start off good and then turn bad and I can't stop myself from thinking that way.' Daniel now sounded very distressed. His voice was shaky and Jack guessed that the old 'Daniel defense mechanism' was going to kick in shortly if he didn't say something soon.

'I'm not sure I understand what you mean Daniel.'

Daniel sighed again and struggled to control his voice. 'I don't have many memories of my parents. Those I do recall always start off good, but then I remember the rest of it. The neglect, the preoccupation with whatever dig we were living at, the loneliness. It isn't right that I should only remember the bad stuff when they never had a chance to make it up to me. All my thoughts of them are tarnished in some way. It makes me angry that I can't seem to change this. That's why I wanted you to see this, so I could tell you what I saw in it. I thought then maybe you'd understand a little, why I don't want the same things you want.'

Jack took a little while to absorb this information. Daniel waited in silence for a minute, then slipped off the wall and began gathering up his notes. Jack jumped down and helped him. They both reached for the same paper at once and as they stood up Jack handed the paper to the scientist.

'I think I'm beginning to understand Daniel. Can we talk about this some more, tonight maybe?' Jack was so happy to be making headway, he didn't want to risk spoiling it now by saying too much. Daniel nodded, looking slightly happier.

Jack was just about to suggest they start packing up and preparing to leave when his radio crackled. It was Carter. Something unusual was afoot in the ruined village and required the colonel's immediate attention.

~~~

When Colonel O'Neill and Dr Jackson arrived in the village ruins where Carter and Teal'c had registered their location, the men were astounded by the sight which greeted them. The village which had not half and hour ago been deserted ruins was a bustling, working market town. The buildings were miraculously repaired, there were people everywhere going about their daily tasks - men driving carts, children hauling water buckets, small boys selling fruits - and the population appeared to have swelled from zero to the size of a small township. There in amongst the market place were Carter and Teal'c standing with bemused expressions. Carter was attempting to talk to a woman passing by with a tray of bread but she was summarily ignored.

'Well, this is... unusual,' mused Jack as he and Daniel approached. Carter saw them and she and Teal'c hastened over to the men standing on the periphery of the village.

As Carter and Teal'c jogged up O'Neill felt the need to remonstrate with them, just a little. 'Carter, Teal'c, you were taking it upon yourselves to try to communicate with the natives? I thought we were agreed it was Daniel's ass on the line when it came to causing diplomatic crises.'

'We did not intend to break protocol, O'Neill.' Jack sensed that Teal'c was more than a little ticked off.

'Sir, I really don't know how to explain this but... it just happened. One minute we were walking through the ruins on our way to meet you and Daniel and suddenly the buildings started to grow and people came out of doorways and within no more then thirty seconds, there was this!' Carter gestured around them, clearly flabbergasted. 'And there we were in the middle of it. I really can't explain it sir.'

'No one's asking you to Carter... yet,' answered O'Neill. 'So Teal'c, you tried talking to them?'

Teal'c approximated a frown. 'Indeed we did O'Neill. They would not answer us. In fact we were completely ignored. One women even walked straight into me, as if she did not see me.'

'That's because you're so easy to miss, Teal'c. Daniel, what say you give it try. You're a little less intimidating than Carter and Teal'c.' Daniel shrugged and looked around the marketplace for a likely approachable person.

Teal'c still looked disturbed. 'I do not think they were intimidated O'Neill.' 'Alright, alright, Teal'c we get the picture, I'm sure no one meant to insult you.' Geez, thought Jack, remind me never to snub a Jaffa.

Daniel spotted a young woman sitting by the central fountain (which had, not surprisingly, sprung back into action whence before it had been bone dry). She appeared to be just watching the bustle around her, not engaged in any task to be interrupted.

'Perhaps I'll ask her,' Daniel mused aloud.

Jack followed his gaze. 'Oh nice Daniel, pick the good looking single female. You don't change do you?' Daniel scowled at him and Jack let himself entertain for a brief moment the images of the payback Daniel could inflict that night for such a comment. He decided to dig himself in deeper.

'Go on then, but if she offers you candy you know what to say don't you.' Jack smiled sweetly. Daniel resisted the urge to deliver a swift kick and settled for a hurumph. 'She just looks bored that's all, so she'll have no excuse not to talk to me.'

He strode over to the fountain. Jack marvelled at the way Daniel was becoming more and more confident with initiating the communication between their world and the ones they encountered through the Stargate. They had all changed so much since that first trip to Abydos. Just as much room for misinterpretation as there ever was though, thought Jack optimistically.

O'Neill, Carter and Teal'c quickly moved over the ground to cover Daniel, lest anything untoward eventuate. Though Jack wasn't quite sure what would be classed as untoward in this world.

'I am Daniel Jackson. We came through the Stargate, the Chappa'ai, we come in peace.'

Jack turned to Carter. 'Geez I love that line, why don't we ever get to say it huh Carter?'

The three of them moved up closer to hear if Daniel got a response from the young woman.

'Get out of my way, can't you see I'm watching them?' Okay, thought Jack, now I bet that wasn't the reaction Daniel was expecting. He watched the surprised scientist take a step back. Daniel adjusted his glasses nervously and cast a quick glance at the rest of his team.

'Um, sorry, uh, watching who?' stammered Daniel.

'Them, them, all of them,' the young woman gestured wildly around the marketplace. 'Oh don't bother, you've ruined it now. I'm going to have to do it all again later. Much later.' She heaved herself up from the bench with the movements of a much older woman and waggled her fingers in the air impatiently. Daniel's jaw dropped open as the bustling village suddenly disappeared into thin air and the ruins returned.

'What just happened here?' He asked in astonishment.

'You took the words right outa my mouth Dr Jackson. Anything you'd like to fill us in on, miss?' O'Neill walked up to Daniel and the woman, Teal'c and Carter not far behind. 'Don't be afraid, we're open-minded. In fact, we'd believe just about anything.'

The woman squinted up at him as if she were terribly short sighted. 'It was a study of course, what are you, stupid? I spent the whole day setting that up and then she comes along - little miss 'I've got a big gun don't come anywhere near me or I'll shoot' over there and then him, mister ' I'm just going to stand right here and get in everyone's way', ' the woman gestured to Carter and Teal'c as she spoke, 'and stand right in the middle of my test so as to ruin all my measurements. And then to add insult to injury, this one,' she jabbed a pointy finger at Daniel, 'this one starts yabbering on to me and upsets my concentration and you, you expect me to answer your questions? Not much point now is there? Huh? May as well pack up and go home now.' She narrowed her eyes at Daniel. 'And that goes doubly for you peaceboy, because you're the one who's been looking at my paintings. I don't expect these empty-headed soldiers to understand what just happened, but you, of all of them, should know the value of my work here.' She jabbed a finger once more into Daniel's chest for emphasis.

'Ow!' Daniel tried to step back out of arm's reach. Jack stepped up and pulled Daniel back the stand slightly behind him out of harm's way.

'Look, we're sorry if we've disturbed something here but we really didn't know what was going on. In fact, I'm still not too clear on it. Could you explain it a little more simply perhaps, for all of us 'dumb soldiers'?' Jack was about ready to explode. What would be really handy, right now, would be if there was a guide book on how to deal with really obtuse, really grouchy aliens. Instead, all he had was sarcasm.

The woman grumbled and muttered to herself. Then she heaved a sigh and started speaking very slowly and very loudly as if Jack was a reasonably thick and disobedient dog. 'I was conducting a study. A study on human interaction. I spent one year, a whole year, preparing these vessels, teaching them, letting them grow. I finally let them out to play and along come four real humans, shouting big hellos and waving their hands in front of my children's faces. You've ruined it. It's hardly pure now. That's all there is to say.'

'We did not wave at them Colonel O'Neill. I believe she is, exaggerating.'

'It's alright Teal'c, she was probably referring to Daniel.' Jack ignored Daniel's spluttering protest.

Carter was getting that fascinated gleam in her eye. Uh-oh, somebody stop her, thought Jack. 'So are you saying you created all those people?'

The woman stared at her. 'No I wished upon a star and they just fell in my lap.' She turned to go. Daniel suppressed a chuckle. Here was someone who could actually challenge Jack in the sarcasm department. Then he remember he should have been offended at the 'peaceboy' tag.

Jack grabbed the woman by the shoulder. 'Just hang on a minute. We thought this world was uninhabited. That's what the murals told us, isn't that right Daniel?'

Daniel fumbled with his notes which were all jumbled up after the fall from the wall earlier. 'Actually Jack, I didn't really have a chance to confirm that. SG-9 came up with that conclusion when they came here on reconnaissance last week and after studying those pictographs...'

'For like, five hours,' Jack stated.

'Well, my mind hasn't really been on the job today,' Daniel looked pointedly back at Jack. 'I'm sorry but I hadn't come up with a firm answer either way from looking at those drawings.'

The woman cackled. 'You're supposed to be the smart one book-boy. At least that's how they all see you. What kind of planet sends out exploration teams of such low intelligence? Your reconnaissance team were no more than foot-soldiers.'

'Hey I'm getting a bit fed up with the name-calling,' Daniel was starting to display annoyance. Jack put a calming hand on his shoulder and tried to will the heat to slip out of the young man and into him. Daniel had had enough upsetting encounters in the past couple of days.

'What say we all sit down somewhere and talk about this okay? We still haven't been properly introduced. I'm Colonel Jack O'Neill, this is Major Carter, Dr Daniel Jackson and Teal'c. We are explorers and we came through the Stargate.' Jack tried to force out a smile at the unlikable woman.

She pursed her lips as she thought about this. 'I am Mater. I will meet you at the temple in half an hour, your time.' She turned abruptly and walked off into the ruins.

'Mater?' wondered Daniel aloud. 'As in Mother?'

'Let's hope not,' answered Jack grimly. SG-1 started walking back to the temple.

It was only ten minutes walk away over the gently rolling hills. Carter fell in step beside Daniel as Jack and Teal'c walked on ahead.

'So you haven't managed to decipher any of those images in the temple yet? And you had all of five hours? You're slipping Daniel,' Sam teased.

'Ah, well, I've had a lot on my mind today,' he countered with a sigh. 'I know,' she slipped her hand around his and gave a small squeeze of support. 'Yesterday was pretty rough on you.'

Daniel gave a weak smile. 'You of all people should know how disturbing it is to encounter an alternate version of yourself.' Sam nodded. 'And then finding out how similar they are to you,' she finished for him. Daniel looked at her in surprise.

'But your alternate self was so unlike you, in the ways that matter, I mean,' he stumbled, trying not to give too much away. 'The whole thing with your alternate being married to Jack and all that, it must have been weird.'

'That was a shock,' Sam conceded, 'but not entirely unexpected.' Daniel stared at her with wide blue eyes full of concern for his friend. Sam patted his arm. 'It's alright,' she murmured, 'I know.'

Daniel comprehended at once and thought, not for the first time, that economy with words was not always a bad thing when one could express as much as Sam, so eloquently with so little. He was suddenly filled with hope that maybe Sam was the one person who he could talk to about his fears.

'Sam,' he hesitated and looked ahead to check whether Teal'c and Jack were within earshot. They weren't. 'The alternate me that you met yesterday, he wasn't anything like me at all. He was a far greater man than I could ever dream of being.'

'Don't put yourself down Daniel, he just chose a different path that's all.'

'You don't understand Sam.' Daniel took a deep breath and shoved his hands down in his pockets. 'There are things in my past, mainly to do with my parents, that I can't seem to get over, work through, or anything. It was obvious to me that he had been able to overcome these hang-ups, neuroses, call them what you will, and had embarked on a full and satisfying life which was only being cut short by the Goa'uld, once again,' he added as an afterthought. 'It was also clear that he knew I was not as good a man as he and that is probably why he asked Jack to take his child. I mean, I would have been the obvious choice wouldn't I. We do share the same genes after all. In every physical sense, I am that child's father. But he knew he couldn't trust me, and that's why he chose Jack.'

Sam stopped and grabbed Daniel by the shoulders so he had to stop walking and look at her. 'Daniel, that's not what happened.'

He tried not to meet her gaze, he was too ashamed. 'Of course it is Sam, Jack told me everything.'

Sam winced as she knew she was about to drop Jack right in it. She wondered what on earth could have possessed him to lie to Daniel knowing what a vulnerable state the man was in right now. 'The other Daniel said he didn't have time to convince you to take his child. He knew himself too well, he said. So he asked Jack to be guardian to the boy temporarily and then entrusted Jack with the responsibility of convincing you to take him after the other Daniel had gone.'

Daniel's mouth went dry. He blinked at Sam as he tried to comprehend what she was telling him. Jack had lied to him? After all Daniel had told him, after he'd virtually spilled his guts on everything that was that made him the man he was, Jack had boldly lied to his face. He let him think that even his own alternate self thought he couldn't be trusted with a child. Daniel began to think maybe he didn't really know Jack at all. It was quite simply beyond him to understand why Jack had done this. Was it revenge, for Daniel turning him out of his apartment last night? Maybe Jack was only after the sex in their relationship, and when he didn't get that he decided to hurt Daniel so much that he would end it. But that didn't quite gel with the genuine concern Daniel thought he had read in Jack's expression as he held that photo out to him. Although his head was all at sea, his heart told him Jack really did care about him and there must be some other explanation. It didn't stop the crushing feeling in his stomach though. It occurred to him that he might throw up then and there and he turned away from Sam whilst he quietly fought the urge.

'Daniel?' A gentle hand on his shoulder. He turned to face his friend and gave a shaky smile. Ah Daniel, you're learning the soldier's tricks quickly aren't you, despite his emotional state the young man grinned ruefully to himself. I think this is what they call putting on a brave face.

'I don't know which I'd prefer to be thought as, untrustworthy or a procrastinator. On the whole, I think I prefer your version.'

Sam gave him an odd look. She did wonder about Daniel sometimes. In the beginning he had been so open and innocent, so easy to become close friends with, so like her in many ways with his desire for knowledge but also a great contrast in his impulsiveness and lack of cynicism. She thought what a tragedy it would be if their experiences with gate travel and the rigidity of military conduct and regulations, happened to change Daniel and upset that balance. Their team of three soldiers didn't need a fourth.

But they were nearing the temple and the Colonel and Teal'c were waiting for them to catch up, so she decided to let the matter rest.

~~~

As Carter and Jackson jogged up to the two men, Jack spread out his arms. 'Well we're here then. What now?' He was not in the mood for patience anymore, he just wanted to get out of there and back to base.

'Uh, Jack...' Daniel gestured to the temple steps behind them. 'I think she meant inside the temple, perhaps.'

'Oh yeah, I might be a dumb soldier but I do know not to follow strange alien women into enclosed areas where I don't know the available exits.' Daniel rolled his eyes and gave him that look as if to say 'well, if you don't then what's the point of being here?'

'Fair point,' Jack conceded and headed for the steps. Sam marvelled at how well the two men could communicate now, as opposed to when she first saw them in action together on her first mission to Abydos. The Colonel was much more willing now to accept that unless useful contact was made with the inhabitants of these other worlds there was not really much point to gate exploration. Daniel, on the other hand, seemed to be becoming more aware of what was going on around him and acting more like a team player.

SG-1 entered the gloom of the temple, Carter and Teal'c taking the flanks and spreading out so as not to be a sitting duck should it be a trap. When Jack's eyes had adjusted to the gloom he could make out the shape of an old woman kneeling in front of the murals which covered the south wall of the room. She had her back to them and did not appear to have heard them enter.

'Hello?' Daniel called out to the woman.

'Yes, yes, come in then,' she turned her head and peeked over her shoulder at them. It seemed like the same woman, only she had suddenly aged forty years and now carried the lines and papery skin of an elderly woman. 'Yes, 'tis me still, you're just seeing me in my natural state. Not so pretty eh?' she cackled. The body movements which had been unsettling on the youthful woman in the marketplace now seemed appropriate. The woman had rested heavily with hands leaning on her folded legs as if bracing herself. Now she rose with an arthritic awkwardness and walked towards them.

She cast a critical eye over the four members of SG-1. Jack gazed back at her unflinchingly to show he wasn't intimidated by an old woman, even one as surly as she.

Mater stepped up to Daniel. 'So, clever-clogs, what did you make of my pictures?'

Daniel pursed his lips. 'My name is Dr Jackson,' he emphasised the doctor then stepped around her and approached the wall. The group followed him. Mater stood at his side, only coming up to his elbow. Daniel frowned as he studied the wall.

The old woman poked him sharply in the side. 'Ow! Would you stop doing that, please! Just say my name if you want my attention.'

Mater smiled undeterred. 'So, this corner here is what hmmm?' She didn't wait for him to answer. 'These are my animals, my birds, my pets yes?' Daniel cast an eye over the crude representations of a Noah's ark type of gathering of animals in the lower right hand corner. 'Okay, I see,' he said slowly. The beginnings of an inkling as to where the old woman might be heading began to twitch in his mind.

His eyes roamed over the rest of the mural. His gaze settled at the top of the wall. He pointed upwards. 'And those are the elements?' Mater snatched his tentative hand down but smiled. 'Good boy, but you don't let them know you know, elements can be temperamental devils.' Jack wondered if this could get any more surreal. He looked at Daniel and was thankful to see that light in his eyes which registered that he at least had figured out what the hell was the deal here. Which was good because whoever drew these pictures was no artist. The old lady could be telling them it was the inside workings of a cow and Jack would've had to trust her.

Daniel pointed to a collection of lines in the other corner. 'And that's the people.' He said triumphantly. The old woman sucked on her teeth. 'There you go, that wasn't so hard was it?' She turned to the Colonel. 'Or rather, they were the people, until someone lead his troops into the middle of the study and ruined twelve months hard work!'

'Hey! We already said we're sorry about that. We didn't know.' Damn, was he going to have this argument again? Jack tried to move on. But Daniel was already on the case with Carter not far behind.

'You're like mother nature. You look after all living things, you direct the elements...' the words were pouring from Daniel but the old woman silenced him with a severe look. When he broke off in surprise, she chuckled throatily. 'Heh, heh, not quite, I don't do fish, there's another one what looks after them. Also no one really directs the elements, they do what they like, I just try to keep them on side so they want to please me, but apart from that, near enough I guess.' She patted him on the arm like he was a dog who had learnt to sit, and waddled towards the door.

'Hey, hang on a minute.' Carter rushed after her and she stopped at the temple doorway.

'So what was all that with the people in the village being there one moment and gone the next? What was this study?'

'Oh that,' Mater sighed. 'Well, as you may have guessed, the original inhabitants of this world left a long time ago. Over the past few years I got to thinking it might be more interesting to have people around the place again so I talked it over with some of my colleagues and they gave me a few starting tips and since then I've been gathering the necessary ingredients and knowledge to put together a functioning race.'

Daniel's mouth dropped open. 'Your colleagues? There are more of you?'

'Oh yes, but we don't socialise much, and this is my territory.'

'Oh, okay,' replied the scientist, bemused at the sharp reply. Mater stalked out into the sunlight. Jack rolled his eyes at Teal'c and they ambled after Carter and Daniel who had followed the old woman in fascination.

'So you're practicing to create a human race,' Carter was breathless at the concept.

'Not quite, but you get the general idea. I've done the studies for physiology, education, medicine, and of course diet, but I'm still completing my knowledge on body language, interpersonal communication, emotions....that sort of thing, the intangibles I like to call them. The less said about the daily interaction unit the better, you lot put paid to that one.'

She eased herself down onto the low stone wall and turned her face up to the sun. Daniel was frowning at the ground, trying to get his head around this rather clinical assessment of what it was that constituted a human being. He left it to Carter to ask the questions.

'What happens when you've finished your 'studies'?' Carter sounded rather stunned at what they had learnt.

'Oh this and that, but primarily I'll have a good idea of how to create a fairly hardy race. Not like you lot.' She jabbed at Daniel again but this time he side-stepped her sharp finger. 'So weak, the slightest puff of wind would knock you down!'

Jack pricked up his ears at that slight. 'Hey, we're tougher than you might think.'

Mater sniffed and shook her head at him sadly. 'No poor things, you're just weaklings, the runts of the litter.' Teal'c stepped forward not willing to hear his friends insulted. The old woman looked at him admiringly. 'Now you sir, on the other hand, are well-constructed but you still have a few imperfections such as your house guest there (she gestured to his pouch). No, when I'm finished my race will be far superior, they won't be susceptible to illness or injury or predisposed towards harming each other.' She narrowed her eyes at the Colonel.

'You're kinda only looking at the negatives there.' After saying that Jack became acutely aware of the gun in his hands and shifted it surreptitiously down by his side.

The old woman shook her head. 'I've been watching you since you arrived. You forget that daily interaction is my area this year. From what I observed, your interaction appears to leave a lot to be desired.' She paused and Jack shot a look at Daniel. He was still frowning at the ground and fiddling with his notebook. 'Example one,' she pointed at Sam. 'This one, didn't listen to that one,' she pointed at Teal'c, 'when he suggested he sensed an uneasiness when they walking through the village ruins. She just blundered in because there was nothing suspicious that she could see and we only trust and believe what we can see and hear and touch don't we dear,' she nodded at Sam who blushed a deep red. Well, she thought furiously, she was a scientist.

Then Mater pointed at Teal'c. 'And of course that one was right and we get very ticked off, don't we now, when people think we are not a good soldier, especially when we are right ninety nine percent of the time.' Teal'c raised an eyebrow, he wasn't going to dignify that with a reply.

Jack's dislike of the old woman was increasing exponentially. No one, but no one, got away with insulting his team. He was just about to tell this woman, elderly or not, where to shove it, when she turned her penetrating gaze to the Colonel himself.

'And you have some serious grovelling to do.' She cackled to herself. 'Oh yes sir, so much.'

Jack was very taken aback. There was no way she could know about him and Daniel, was there? Besides which, he and Daniel had talked it over, they were okay again, sort of. Well, they were working it out anyway, why should he still have to grovel? He decided to order his team out before this got any more creepy.

'Okay kids, home time I think.' He turned to Mater. 'It's been... enlightening, but we really must be going now.' He gestured to the others. 'Carter, Teal'c, Daniel, the Stargate awaits us.' Jack walked down a couple of the steps. He turned in time to see Daniel step up to Mater.

'What about me?' he asked in a low voice. 'Why won't you call me by my name? What's wrong with me? What's my flaw' Jack exchanged a glance with Carter. He hoped the answer wouldn't be too revealing.

The old woman returned Daniel's hard gaze, then she broke the eye contact by looking away. Way to go Daniel, thought Jack, he could really stare the old girl down. Maybe he had more fight in him than Jack thought.

Then Mater looked up. 'What was your name again?'

A quiet, controlled voice. 'Dr, Daniel, Jackson.'

'Oh yes, that was it, so it was. Well, Dr Daniel Jackson, you'd do well to remember that a man is only ever a man, whatever name he goes by.' She sniffed again. 'Just a pity your race is so inferior or I might have been tempted to use today as an addendum in my study.'

She patted him on the arm again and waddled back into the temple.

Teal'c rested a heavy hand on Daniel's shoulder as the young man stared after her.

'Daniel Jackson, do not let this concern you. No one, not even she, can fully understand a human being from one day's observation.'

Daniel turned towards him, but Teal'c could tell he did not see him. The man stumbled down the stone steps, deeply lost in thought.

It was a puzzled and slightly annoyed SG-1 team who made their way through the woods back to the Stargate.

Jack made sure he fell into step beside Daniel but he could tell his lover was nowhere near P3X386. Maybe not even in the same universe. It made him proud that Daniel was just about the smartest person in the entire SGC, but the depth to which the younger man could retreat inside his own head also scared Jack silly. He could well imagine the day when he wouldn't be able to summon Daniel back, to earth and to him.

'Daniel.' Jack paused and waited for those dark blue eyes to turn his way and focus. Then he spoke in a low voice, aware of Carter and Teal'c not far ahead. 'She was just a batty old woman Daniel, don't take it to heart.'

Daniel looked at him, shocked. 'She had the ability to create life!'

'Yeah and so did the pet rat I had as a kid. Just cos she happened to be the creator of a whole bunch of animals and plants and stuff doesn't mean squat.'

Daniel shook his head at Jack's attempt to belittle the old woman's power. Jack tried a different approach. 'Okay, so she said you should remember a man's just a man. So what? We all know you have a tendency to be a little hard on yourself and cop the blame for stuff that isn't your fault. She also pointed out that Carter is too much of the scientist/soldier type sometimes and Teal'c....uh...well, judging by his expression I think she nailed down some sort of flaw but I'm not sure what it was...'

'And she said that you can be a little arrogant.'

'Yeah, well, I happen to disagree with her there but we're talking about you not me.' Jack tried to lighten the tone. Why did he always do that? Maybe the seriousness of Daniel scared him sometimes.

Daniel gave a small mirthless chuckle. 'On the contrary Jack, I think we are talking about you, in a roundabout way.'

'How'd you figure that out?'

'I don't necessarily agree with your interpretation of what Mater said to me okay, so let's just leave it at that. I don't want to argue with you Jack.'

'Okay, okay.' Jack held up his hands and backed off. 'That's just peachy with me. No skin off my nose.'

They hiked on in silence. Jack could see Carter and Teal'c up ahead at the gate getting ready to dial in. This was their last chance for a private moment.

'Are you still coming over tonight?' Jack tried not to sound like he cared that much. He really wasn't going to beg.... or grovel for that matter.

Daniel sighed. 'Maybe, I'll see how tired I am when we get back.' And that was as good as Jack was going to get.

~~~

The debriefing was over quickly, and afterwards Jack headed straight for the showers. After a speedy wash Jack entered the locker room to change. Daniel was already sitting there waiting for him.

Jack roughly rubbed himself over with his towel and began to get dressed. Daniel didn't speak, just sat there watching him. Jack felt compelled to break the silence.

'You don't want to check in at the infirmary before we leave then?' Jack rubbed at his wet hair with the towel.

'Why? None of us were injured.' Daniel was deliberately avoiding the unspoken part of Jack's question.

Jack removed his head from the towel and looked at the young man sitting hunched over on the bench. Daniel lifted his head and gazed at Jack with pleading eyes.

'Just drop it Jack. Are we going to let this take over our lives? I'm tired and I just want to go home.' Jack turned to the pile of clothes on the bench in front of him and picked up his shirt. 'Sure Daniel, we can do that, for now.'

The young man groaned and leaned his head back against the locker. Jack finished dressing in silence.

~~~

The ride back to Jack's house was uncomfortably quiet. Jack tried to make some lighthearted conversation but Daniel was having none of it and soon the Colonel gave up trying.

Once inside Jack's house, Daniel headed straight for the bedroom. Jack threw his keys on the kitchen table and hurried after him.

'Daniel wait, don't you want to eat or something?'

Daniel paused in the doorway of the bedroom and turned back to look at Jack standing at the top of the stairs. He saw the way his lover gripped the banister tightly, how hard he was trying, and he ached to forgive him for the lies he had told. But he couldn't, not yet. He needed to do this on his own.

It occurred to him that he might never be able to stop Jack being concerned for him. That was comforting, but it also frightened the life out of him. He read the weariness in Jack's eyes, the lines on his face which seemed to have grown in the past twenty four hours, realised that the older man would keep pushing himself until he was satisfied that Daniel was going to be alright. An idea began to form in Daniel's mind of a way to convince Jack for the moment at least that he was alright, then he might leave Daniel alone for a while.

Daniel gave a small smile.

'I'm not that hungry Jack. I'm going to bed, you can join me if you like.' He shrugged and disappeared through the doorway into the bedroom.

Jack hesitated, momentarily thrown by Daniel's abrupt change in mood. Some voice in the back of his mind nagged him that this was possibly not a good time, that talking would be more constructive. But then the image of the 'other' Daniel swam into his mind. We never know how much time we have, thought Jack, talking can come later. With heavy steps he walked down the hall and entered the bedroom.

Daniel was already functionally taking off his clothes. Jack leaned in the doorway. He could guess what kind of sex this was going to be, he just never thought he'd ever be having it with Daniel. With Sara yes, there had been many times when they'd gone to bed angry, wound up, ready to take it out on each other, sex without kissing, without tenderness, without the quiet whispers between lovers. He never imagined it could be like that with Daniel too.

His common sense screamed no, but as the young man stood naked before him in the lamp lit bedroom, silhouetted against the street light coming in through the window as he had not thought to close the curtains, Jack gazed upon the outline of smooth muscles, lean hips, strong chest that was his lover and felt the familiar heat begin to rise within him. He concentrated on Daniel's body, to avoid meeting the challenge that he knew would be present in Daniel's expression.

After a few moments where they stood, Daniel looking for eye contact, Jack avoiding it at all costs, the younger man turned and threw himself down on the bed. Jack took the opportunity to cross the room and draw the curtains. Then he undressed in the dark, his back to the bed.

Slipping between the cool sheets, Jack wished again that he had enough self-control to stop what was about to happen. He respected Daniel too much.

He rolled over to face the man lying silently beside him. Daniel's expression was hard and determined. He frowned with concentration as he ran his usually warm and tender hands over Jack's chest. Jack shivered at the cool touch. He felt his erection rapidly subsiding, much to his relief.

Daniel frowned again and bit his lip. Then he moved his hands downwards and wrapped his fingers around Jack's semi-flaccid cock. Jack closed his eyes and suppressed a gasp as his erection swelled with renewed vigor. But in spite of his body's reaction, this did not feel right at all.

Daniel stroked his cock, firmly and regularly, confidently. Jack's body responded as it always had and probably always would for this beautiful man, no matter what emotional gulfs opened up between them.

As one hand toyed with the pre-cum already gathering on Jack's sensitive tip, the other snaked down to cup his balls and gently stroke between his thighs. Despite himself, Jack shifted his legs further apart to allow his lover better access. Daniel wedged one slim knee in between Jack's thighs.

Jack opened his eyes to steal one glance at the man who was pleasuring him, hoping to see that his expression had changed, grown into one of lust, or even love, instead of blank concentration, as if this were a duty.

Daniel was looking at him, staring at him with empty blue eyes. Jack had seen that expression before, on soldiers, soldiers going through the motions of readying themselves to go in to battle, going through those mechanical actions, ones so ingrained they could do them with their eyes shut, ones which used to be completed with enthusiasm, anticipation, attention. Familiar processes such as cleaning their weapons, threading their bootlaces, checking their equipment. For some, Jack thought maybe even himself sometimes, once they had been involved in a real battle, seen real blood shed, these motions ceased to provide comfort. They were merely all a part of duty, the same as going over the top or pulling the trigger. Duty you do because the sooner it's all done the sooner you can go home and forget about it. As far as Jack could tell, Daniel was doing his duty so it could be over and Jack would leave him alone. That hurt. Jack closed his eyes again as Daniel slipped down under the sheets.

He groaned as he felt Daniel's warm mouth envelop his erection and gently draw it to the back of his throat. Jack remembered how he had once taken comfort in the rituals of a soldier's duty. He curled inside however, as his heart told him it wasn't the same for Daniel. There was no safe way to justify what he was letting his lover do.

Jack reached down and put his hands under Daniel's arms, trying to pull him back up but the younger man resisted and tightened his lips around the weeping erection. Jack forgot himself for a moment as Daniel's talented, agile tongue, which he had enjoyed on so many occasions, made a quick swipe over the sensitive, swollen tip of his cock. As he took more of the erection deep into his throat, Jack's resolve all but crumbled. The most he could hope for now was to come relatively quickly so that it would be over and they could start working out where things went wrong between them.

Abruptly, Daniel broke off the contact and emerged from the bedclothes. He turned away from Jack and fumbled on the bedside table for the lubricant. Jack watched with a sinking heart as Daniel mechanically prepared himself then swiped the slick gel over the length of Jack's erection. Then he lay on his side and pressed his back up against Jack. Although his cock fell naturally between the cleft of Daniel's cheeks and twitched with arousal, Jack resisted.

'Daniel, I don't want to do this.' He whispered to the back of his lover's head, his lips catching on that silky hair. A few strands stuck to his lips and he was loathe to brush them away. Daniel made no reply but moved his hand back in between them to tug gently at Jack's erection, a none too subtle action which implied he thought Jack was lying.

'My body doesn't always follow orders Daniel, but I know what I want, and I know I don't want it this way. If you want this too then you have to look at me. I won't do it unless I can see your eyes and know you want it too.' Jack held his breath in the silence that followed his request.

Slowly Daniel rolled over to face him, but he kept his eyes lowered. He raised his arms so that his forearms rested on Jack's chest and formed a barrier between them. Jack reached down and wrapped his fingers gently around Daniel's completely unaroused cock.

'I may play the 'dumb soldier' a lot of the time, but don't ever underestimate my powers of observation Daniel. Did you seriously think I wouldn't notice that?' Daniel winced at the disgust evident in his lover's tone.

He pulled his arms away from Jack and folded then around himself. 'I just wanted some peace, some time alone, stop you pestering me all the time to talk.'

'So you thought you'd throw the dog a bone and that would keep him happy for a while. I'm really sorry you think I'm that easily distracted Daniel. I thought you had a higher opinion of me than that.' Jack tried to hold back some of the righteousness in his words as he knew how close he'd come to fulfilling Daniel's low opinion of him.

Daniel sighed and heaved himself up to a sitting position. He drew up his legs and rested his chin on his knees, arms tightly wrapped around his legs, a wound up bundle of tension. 'Okay, you win, let's talk. Only this time I want the truth.'

Jack had been lying on his back but now pushed himself up on his elbows. 'Daniel, I have always told you the truth.'

'You're lying to me right now! Sam told me Jack, about the true nature of the request. How you're supposed to pretend to take the kid then later bully me into adopting it.' Daniel bit at his lip as the vicious words flowed and he couldn't stop them.

Jack winced. 'I didn't tell you that part to give you some time to get used to the idea of the kid's existence first, I was going to tell you later but then you started jumping to conclusions and I reckoned we had bigger issues to deal with.'

'Sounds a lot like excuses to me Jack.'

'Is that how you see it Daniel, really? You think I would bully you?'

Daniel shrugged. 'You can be pretty forceful Jack. And you still haven't really tried to understand my point of view on this issue. All you care about is making me see that your way is right.'

'Daniel, I care about you, that is why I'm doing this.'

Daniel didn't reply to this declaration. He just stared pensively at the rumpled bedclothes.

Jack took the silence to mean that they'd gone as far down this path as Daniel was willing to go at this stage. He decided to approach it from a different angle.

'Daniel, something's been bothering me since the meeting yesterday.'

Daniel snorted. 'Yeah? No shit, me too,' he said sarcastically.

Jack ignored the aggression in his tone. 'When the alternate Daniel said that you and Sha're were already fighting about having children, was he right?'

Daniel lowered his head and rubbed his forehead tiredly across his crossed arms.

'Yeah, spot on actually. When Sha're was taken we'd been having this ongoing issue with the fact that she wanted children, lots of them, as soon as possible. Which was fair enough. Culturally the people of Abydos reproduced at a fairly young age and a lot of Sha're's friends already had families. It was obvious that she wanted that too, and was ready, had been ready for a long time.'

'But you weren't?'

'Jack, I felt like I had only just started my life. I was learning so much every day, every minute. There was no way I was capable of taking responsibility for another life. And I couldn't burden Sha're with raising the child on her own.'

'Daniel, I've got news for you, the learning doesn't stop just because suddenly someone is now looking to you for guidance and support. It's a reciprocal thing, you know, give and take. Charlie taught me a helluva lot in ten years.'

Another silence. Something still bothered Jack. 'Is that the way you see a child, as a burden?'

Daniel shrugged. 'I was a burden to my parents. I don't remember them ever learning anything from me.'

'Okay, I've got to say this. Maybe they weren't the best of parents Daniel. It happens. They valued their work more and whether or not that's right doesn't make any difference now. It doesn't have to be the measure by which you live your life.'

Daniel rested his chin on his arms again and tilted his head to one side so that he could peer at Jack. 'Do you remember when we found Cassandra?'

'Yes.' Jack wondered where Daniel was going with this.

'When Sam and I took her back to base and you and Teal'c stayed behind, you weren't there to see how quickly Sam formed a bond with her. Pretty soon Cassandra wouldn't let Sam out of her sight and Sam was happy to stay. I offered a few times to step in to give her a break but she didn't want it, or even need it. You saw for yourself how quickly Sam reached a point where she was willing to give up her life to stay with that child.'

'What are you getting at Daniel?'

'I'm saying that that was a normal reaction. That was the instinct to protect and nurture. When I think of that child back there on base, a child with my own genes, I don't feel compassion, I don't feel the urge to protect it, I just feel angry. Angry that this is being forced on me when I didn't ask for it!'

Jack felt his sympathy for Daniel begin to slip away. Didn't the man realise how lucky he was? How Jack would give anything to be in his shoes... 'Well, if you don't want him then let him go to a foster home. There are plenty of people who can't have kids of their own.'

Daniel shook his head sadly. 'I can't do that Jack. He is my responsibility now. We're stuck with each other, whether I like it or not.'

'That's not the best attitude to take Daniel.' Jack was tired of this. If Daniel would just meet the kid he might realise this could actually be something positive. 'Why don't you meet him at least, then maybe you'll find you feel a little differently about the whole deal.'

'You know what scares me Jack?'

Jack raised his eyebrows. 'What?'

'The fact that I think the only way I could do that would be if you were with me, standing by my side.'

'Of course I'll be there Daniel.' Jack sat up and wrapped and arm around his lover's bare, shaking shoulders.

'But you shouldn't have to be there Jack. I'm a grown man, I should start doing things on my own.'

'Daniel, it's times like these I am reminded that you are not military. As SG-1, why do we work as a team?'

Daniel furrowed his brow and looked at Jack confused. 'Because it wouldn't work any other way. We all bring our different skills and knowledge to the team and work together for the common goal.'

'Okay, so that's most of it, but the other part is for support, for back up. No one can be completely self-sufficient Daniel. Not even if you've lost so many people you think it's not worth it to try again.' He brought his hand up to gently touch Daniel's cheek. Daniel grabbed hold of Jack's hand and held on tightly.

'It's not that I don't think it's worth it Jack, it's just that I'm...' He bit his lip and looked down at the bedclothes.

'Afraid?' Jack offered.

'And confused.'

Jack brought the hand up to his own lips and kissed it softly. Then he turned it over and planted a kiss in Daniel's palm. 'I'm here for you Daniel. We all are.'

He let go of the hand and wrapped his arms tightly around Daniel as the young man finally gave in to the stress and the fear he'd been holding inside and let the tears flow. Jack held on to Daniel, arms engulfing the quaking body, as he lay his head down close to Jack's heart and sobbed.

When the shaking had subsided to deep sighs and slow rocking in rhythm with the hand rubbing in slow circles over Daniel's back, Jack eased them both down in the bed and drew up the covers around his friend. Daniel cuddled in close to him, resting his head in between Jack's neck and shoulder. Jack kept his arms around his lover and planted soft kisses on Daniel's sweet-scented hair. Jack listened until the ragged breathing of his lover became the gentle even sighs of sleep. Then he closed his own eyes. The last thought in Jack's mind as he drifted off, was that this was the best way to fall asleep, with Daniel's warm body lightly resting on his own.

~~~

Jack awoke to screams. At some stage during the night Daniel had wriggled his way out of Jack's embrace and was now spread-eagled on his side of the bed, writhing in the grip of a nightmare. The distressed man was running his hands over his own body as if trying to push away something that was covering his skin. He moaned and cried out in his dream-state.

'Let me go! Let me die!' he cried out once coherently and Jack's heart skipped a beat. He leaned over and dragged his lover close to him, or as much as his disoriented writhing would allow. Jack tried to trap his arms by his sides and at the same time cradle Daniel's head, whispering at first, then crying out loudly, 'Wake up Daniel! It's just a dream, just a dream...'

One of Daniel's waving fists connected with Jack's cheek and he jerked his head back instinctively, dropping Daniel's head back onto the bed. The jolt woke the younger man out of his nightmare and he sat straight up. He looked around confused, gazed at Jack leaning back in the bed rubbing his face, and started running his hands over his chest and stomach, as if to convince himself that there wasn't really anything there.

'What happened?' He looked around at Jack again, his red-rimmed blue eyes showing confusion.

'You had a nightmare Daniel, I shouldn't have to tell you that, you're the world expert on nightmares. I've shared enough tents with you to know that.' Jack gazed at his lover, the concern that seemed absent from his words written obviously in his features.

Daniel continued patting down his body, though it seemed to Jack he was unaware of his actions. Then suddenly the words came tumbling out in a cascade of barely concealed horror. 'I was the other me, and I was sick and, you, Jack, you were dead beside me, strangled in your sleep like he said, and I was all alone and I couldn't breathe, but I couldn't die either, and all I could hear was this baby crying....just crying on and on...' Jack swooped on the shaking man, crushing him to his own warm body, wishing with all his might that he could will the images from Daniel's tormented mind.

But Daniel wasn't finished. Through gasping, heaving breaths he spoke. 'Jack, I can't stop thinking about the sacrifice he made. How he must be dying now, alone and in pain, without the only family left to him. How he lost you.... How he lost everything. How strong he must be...'

'Daniel, listen to me.' Jack held Daniel by the arms and looked straight into his eyes. 'That man was you okay, he said himself that the people in our world most closely matched the people in his world. You were as like to him as he had found in 23 universes. You are strong Daniel. So strong it astounds even me sometimes, the way you bounce back...and I'm not talking about your physical indestructiveness here, though that also has me in awe on occasion. You are strong enough to deal with this Daniel. What about when you yourself went to an alternate reality huh? And we were all dead there too, even you. But you dealt with that didn't you?'

Daniel dropped his eyes and twisted the sheet between his agitated fingers. 'That was different, there was a cause to fight for, we had to save the Stargate and stop the invasion. I didn't have time to think about it and by the time it was all over I was just so glad to be alive, that we were all alive in the here and now in our universe, that it didn't affect me this way. Jack, I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can see him tomorrow.'

Jack frowned. Wordlessly he rose from the bed and stumbled through the dark room to the pile of clothes he'd left on the floor. He fumbled through his jacket pockets. Daniel watched him from the bed, wide-eyed and apprehensive. 'What are you doing?'

Jack pulled out an envelope. 'Getting this,' he waved it in the air and climbed back into the bed. He disentangled Daniel's fingers from the sheets and pressed the small white envelope into his damp hands. He watched as Daniel ran a tentative finger over the word written on the label. 'This is from you?' he looked at Jack questioningly. Jack shook his head.

'It's from the other you. He gave me a letter addressed to you. He said to give it to you as a last resort if you really felt you couldn't accept the child, a last plea from him to convince you to take his son as your own.' Jack held his breath, wondering if he'd just done something really stupid. As a soldier he knew it was not good tactically to play his ace so soon. But he couldn't stand to see Daniel keep beating himself up over this.

Daniel turned the envelope over in his fingers but hesitated to open it. He sighed, then handed it back to Jack, who accepted it with surprise.

'You keep it for me Jack, I may yet need it. You shouldn't play your hand so soon you know.' Jack grinned at the tender rebuke. 'I haven't even met the kid yet. Maybe he'll turn out to be a right little terror and I'll be glad to give him away to a good home.' Daniel smiled ruefully.

Jack held the envelope tightly in his hand. 'Somehow Daniel, I think that child could be the reincarnation of Ra himself and you would still love it. That's the kind of guy you are. A bit of a sucker but there you go. I've kinda missed the caring, compassionate Daniel over the past two days. It'll be nice to have him back.'

Daniel looked at him worriedly. 'This is a part of me too Jack. No one is completely good or completely bad.'

'I know I know,' Jack murmured softly and stroked Daniel's cheek, then moving his hand around to the back of his neck. 'I just happen to think the good bits of you are far greater than the bad. And much more fun too,' he added cheekily as he pulled Daniel in for a kiss.

It took only one touch of those soft, sweet lips and Jack was away, his senses reeling from the gentle but relentless onslaught. Daniel's mouth was as hot and sweet as it had ever been and their tongues were forcefully, happily reacquainted, tumbling over each other in their desire to explore the other's territory.

Slowly Jack eased down in the bed, gently applying pressure to his lover's shoulders to bring him down too until they lay together. Jack could feel the tension in Daniel's body slipping away as they began to fall back into the familiar rituals of love-making, this time out of pleasure rather than duty.

He slipped his fingers through Daniel's hair and groaned as his lover's hands ran over his chest, repeating the actions of earlier in the night but to such an opposite effect and with such different intentions that neither man recognised the coincidence. Daniel toyed with the light fuzz of hair on Jack's chest, first brushing the tips of his fingers lightly over it then curling it around one of his fingers whilst absently stroking Jack's nipples into aroused, sensitive nubs. Jack buried his face in the side of his lover's neck and breathed in the scent that was uniquely Daniel.

As Daniel worked gently on his chest Jack arched his back in arousal and felt his erection press into the soft heat of his lover's groin. He heard Daniel breathe in sharply at the contact and pulled back, concerned.

'We don't have to do this you know.' This new softly softly approach was really growing on Jack. He could do this, sure.

Daniel grabbed hold of his hand and pulled it down to his own groin. Jack felt the heat and the firm erection that was already moist with precum. He wrapped his hand around Daniel's erection and shivered at the silky, warm sensation.

Daniel looked firmly into his eyes. 'I don't have anything to hide this time Jack.'

'Sweet, then we'll do it face to face if you don't mind.'

Daniel merely grinned and wriggled an arm between the pillow and Jack's neck and guided the Colonel down into a deep, engulfing kiss. Jack pressed his hips close in to Daniel and held his own erection against his lover's, stroking them both together with his hand. Daniel groaned with pleasure at the sensory overload caused by the double stimulation.

Daniel sighed and buried his face into Jack's shoulder. His hands slid down his lover's back to Jack's ass and squeezed the firm muscle gently. He commenced laying a trail of small, sharp kisses along the line of Jack's shoulder, up his neck and along his stubbled jaw. Jack felt himself finally relax and let his desire for his lover become foremost in his mind over his recent worries. It had been a grueling journey these past twenty four hours but Jack could sense that maybe, maybe they were going to get through it together in one piece. Maybe this didn't have to alter the way things were between him and Daniel. He dearly hoped it wouldn't. But all the same, a nagging little voice in the back of his mind insisted on confirmation that he could really see him and Daniel being allowed to live happily ever after with the child. As Daniel's demanding erection butted firmly against his groin, Jack tried to banish the voice from his head but not before his common sense had had time to whisper a hesitant 'no.'

Jack slid down under the covers with the intention of overwhelming his over-active mind with the feast which was Daniel's nether regions. The younger man groaned as his erection twitched invitingly in front of Jack's face. Jack breathed in deeply and revelled for one moment in the scent of his lover's arousal, then buried his face in the gloriously soft fuzz of hair which covered his groin. Daniel moved his hands down to clutch at Jack's short grey hair for support as his senses reeled for a moment.

As the tantalising cock twitched against his ear, Jack was reminded of a particularly pleasurable duty he could be engaging in and he drew back a few inches to lick at the tip of his lover's moist erection. Daniel's hands fluttered through his hair and down the back of his neck as Jack happily studied the way the younger man's stomach muscles contracted at the sudden stimulus. This always fascinated him, ever since the first time when he had realised that the man he considered too unfit to be a proper soldier (for which he had been very glad) actually sported a very lean, toned and surprisingly muscled torso and stomach, he guessed from the time spent on Abydos. He'd asked Daniel about it once but the object of his scrutiny had just given him that wide-eyed 'who me?' look and swore he'd never willingly participated in any organised physical activity in his life, and he guessed he was just naturally built this way. Jack hadn't believed a word of it but he wasn't going to complain.

He slipped one hand up to run over the muscles as he sucked at the tip of Daniel's erection. Opening his mouth he took it in deeply and rolled it around his mouth from one side to the other, not that there was much room to spare. The he drew back till just the tip brushed his lips, and then plunged down again, deeper so that Daniel's pulsing cock dipped at the back of his throat.

He felt his lover shudder under his touch and then felt strong hand reach under his arms and gently pull him back up out of the dark cavern of the sheets. Daniel still had his eyes shut but as Jack moved to cover his mouth with kisses, he put up a hand and lightly ran his fingers over the older man's face. As if he had to familiarise himself with his lover's features before looking at him, Daniel then opened his eyes and looked pleadingly at Jack. 'If you keep doing that Jack, I'm afraid we're not going to get much further.'

Jack grinned inwardly as he tried to recall a single time they had ever had sex where it had been completely focussed on Daniel's pleasure. Well, there was a first time for everything. He tenderly brushed the light hair from Daniel's face.

'Will you let me do something just for you for once? Something tells me you need this and I want to give it to you,' he murmured softly.

Daniel squeezed his eyes shut tight as if this was an exceedingly difficult moral decision.

Jack held his breath.

Daniel opened his eyes and grinned. 'Well, okay, but just this once.'

Jack pulled his lover into a tight embrace but before Daniel could get too comfortable he let go and slipped back beneath the sheets.

He quickly engulfed the weeping erection in his hot mouth and sucked long and hard until he heard his lover moan for mercy. He drew back ever so slightly then before Daniel could even catch his breath Jack latched onto it again, curling his agile tongue around the shaft.

As Daniel's hips bucked instinctively towards him, Jack took the opportunity to slip a quick hand between his thighs and run one finger along the cleft in his ass. The pulsing cock in his mouth twitched eagerly. Jack drew back and ran his finger over the moist tip of the erection. Then he slipped his finger back between Daniel's cheeks and recommenced the ritual of sucking and licking which was eliciting such groans of pleasure from his lover.

Then Jack slipped his now slick finger in between the firm cheeks of Daniel's ass to find his hot, tight opening. At first he brushed only fleetingly at the flesh, then drew back, and waited for the plea for more. As he took Daniel's cock deep into the his mouth to butt at the back of his throat, he simultaneously slipped the finger through the tight opening and into the welcoming heat of his lover. Falling into a slow rhythm, the way he knew Daniel preferred it, he tenderly touched his finger tip to the sensitive gland in time with the movements of his mouth around his lover's throbbing erection. As he felt Daniel build to a climax he refused to increase his speed, despite pleas from above, as he knew Daniel well enough to know he actually preferred it slower, no matter what his protestations. He felt the tight ring contract around his finger as Daniel orgasmed and came forcefully, sweetly into his mouth. Jack sucked him until the very last twitch had subsided, then with one last deep breath in the heady scent of Daniel, he withdrew and moved back up the bed to gaze at his satisfied lover.

Daniel gazed at him through his long lashes and lazily traced one finger along Jack's jaw.

'You know, I could probably be persuaded to let you do that more often.'

'Ya think?' Jack grinned and pulled Daniel into a strong embrace.

~~~

Colonel Jack O'Neill made a couple of surreptitious phone calls the next morning whilst Daniel was occupied in the shower so that when they reached the infirmary an hour later, Carter and Teal'c were already waiting there to show support for their team mate, just as Jack had promised.

Whilst Jack strode straight up to look in the window to the room where Dr Fraiser was feeding the child, Daniel hung back in the corridor, fidgeting with his jacket sleeves. Sam noticed his remaining hesitation and gently took his arm.

'Daniel, come and see him, please?' She drew him up to the window where Jack and Teal'c already stood and all four members of SG-1 looked in at the doctor and child. Daniel put his hands tentatively up to the glass and leant against it.

'On Chulak, when a child is born it is law that the father must assist in the birth. The mother delivers the child into the father's hands, this is how it was when my son Ry'ac was born.'

Jack flinched. 'Geez Teal'c, how many thousands of years have Jaffa lived on Chulak and still not managed to find a way to get out of that one? You've just gone down in my estimation Teal'c. As soon as I knew Charlie had all his fingers and toes I was down Bailey's Bar with my squaddies wetting the baby's head, so to speak.'

'On Chulak the celebrations are reserved until both mother and child can also enjoy them.'

Jack looked pointedly at Carter. 'And you thought they weren't enlightened about women.' Carter raised he eyebrows back to show that she was above responding.

'I will remember Ry'ac's birth as long as I live.' Teal'c gazed through the window, his mind faraway.

'Hell yes,' agreed Jack. 'Charlie's, I mean, me too.'

Sam looked at Daniel leaning against the glass staring in as if he couldn't tear his eyes away. She touched his sleeve. 'Daniel?' No response. 'Daniel, do you want to go in?'

He frowned. 'I don't know if I can.' He bit his lip carefully and deliberately. Jack knew that look, that look said Daniel was scared shitless. He nodded to Sam.

She opened the door and stepped through into the room and had a quick word with Dr Fraiser.

'If Mohammed won't come to the mountain...' murmured Jack under his breath. Teal'c gave him a questioning look. 'I'll tell you the rest of that one later Teal'c.' The Jaffa nodded thoughtfully.

Just then Carter and Dr Fraiser carrying the child, came out into the corridor. Daniel quickly turned from the window and without any ceremony, Janet set the child into his arms which instinctively moved around the squirming toddler.

As for what happened next, Jack made a mental note to store it up in that top secret file marked 'moments that almost brought the Colonel to tears' along with the year his team made the grand final in ice hockey then lost and the first time Charlie called him Dad.

As soon as the child turned his head around and saw who was holding him, he reached up and wrapped his little brown arms around Daniel's neck and buried his face in the stunned man's shoulder. It was all Daniel could do to hug him back. As if he'd never let him go.

After a few minutes Jack coughed lightly, intending for the others to take it as a sign that they should probably leave Daniel alone with the child for a while so they could get to know one another, but his friend and lover looked up at that moment and Jack was surprised to see the tears streaming down his cheeks. Daniel smiled at him and Jack grinned back then looked away embarrassed. He caught a glimpse of his own reflection in the window and was surprised again to see that his own eyes looked a little moist.

Daniel stretched out a hand to him. 'Jack...' Although what he really wanted to do was grab Daniel and the junior space-monkey and give them both a bone-crushing hug, Jack just took the outstretched hand and held it firmly. 'I know,' he said. 'You don't have to say anything. Why don't you take junior into the infirmary and talk to him a bit, get to know one another.'

Jack felt himself redden as Daniel gazed at him, his expression radiating a mixture of gratitude, happiness and pure love.

'Oh fer cryin' out loud...' muttered Jack, and he gave in to impulse and hugged both of them tightly.

'Thank you,' whispered Daniel into his ear, words for only his lover to hear and understand.

After a few moments they gently stepped apart and then it was Sam's turn to hug Daniel.

'I think I speak for all of your friends Daniel Jackson, when I say that we are happy you made the choice to come here today. It was the right decision.'

Daniel nodded at his friend as the child also gazed up at Teal'c with round solemn blue eyes. 'It was, wasn't it,' he agreed.

Then Janet spoke up. 'Daniel, I'll be keeping him in the infirmary for at least the next two weeks, but you may come in at any time and visit. You don't have to ask, just come. He hasn't looked more settled and peaceful than sitting there in your arms.'

Daniel was lost for words. But it struck him that perhaps some of that peace could start to be infectious.

He looked down and kissed the silky black hair on the child's head. Then slowly he moved away from the circle of his friends and into the infirmary where he sat down with the child in his lap, and started to tell him a story. The story of his father.

~~~

The next two weeks passed in a blur for Jack, he could only imagine how it must have been for Daniel. SG-1 was confined to base, officially so that Carter could complete some research and Colonel O'Neill could put SG-5 through their paces in a refresher training course, but Jack suspected the General was just working it so that Daniel could spend some time with the child and for that Jack was grateful.

He hadly saw Daniel during the day. Daniel spent most of his time in the infirmary, but this was one time when Dr Fraiser was not going to try to chase him out. She was working flat out to develop some sort of test to officially give the child a clean bill of health and get clearence for him to leave the base. Jack was kept busy with training and paperwork, so much so that he began to suspect a conspiracy to keep him occupied to give Daniel a bit of space and he appreciated these efforts. At home every evening Daniel would talk about the child with the kind of enthusiasm that Jack had only ever seen him reserve for a wall full of inscriptions or a two thousand year old statue.

He also began to see a bit of a change in his lover. Daniel was more relaxed, more confident than Jack had ever seen him. Sometimes he even remembered not to take Jack's quips completely seriously, which Jack believed had to be a good thing.

Jack tried to remember how he had been when Charlie was a baby. He remember he wasn't there much, always off on missions, always at work, working to provide a good home as a good husband and father does. At least that was what he believed at the time. He remembered Sara phoning him to tell him that Charlie had taken his first steps or cut his first tooth. He remembered coming home at the end of the day and leaping up the stairs to Charlie's room and usually finding him asleep. Sometimes he accused Sara of arranging his sleeping patterns like that on purpose, because he felt left out of his son's life. He remembered how relieved he had felt when Charlie started growing up and Jack could do the things with him that he was good at, like playing ball and teaching him to ride a bike. But at the end of the day when he fell over or hurt himself or just wanted a hug, Charlie had always run to Sara. If he'd only known how little time they would have together, Jack knew he would've done things differently.

He had expected that Daniel's idea of parenting would be very different from his own and not only because of their late night discussions. Daniel was a communicator, a nurturer, whereas he, Jack O'Neill was an instructor, a leader. Now that they had dealt with the baggage and resentment which were legacies from Daniel's own parents, Jack had expected to see the true Daniel prevailing and he was not disappointed. Daniel did not talk that much about his own efforts to get to know his child, but from the things he told Jack in the evenings and from the snippets he got from Dr Fraiser, Jack knew that Daniel spent a large part of the time letting his son run the show and decide what they would do that day and mostly it involved telling the child stories, sitting on the floor together with building blocks, drawing. Janet laughed when she related the story of how one of her nurses had walked in and been shocked to find a man so highly respected in the SGC for being of great intellect, sitting on the floor apparently fascinated by a teetering tower of wooden blocks put together by a two-year old. But Jack understood why. He understood that Daniel and the child were not just playing, but putting together the building blocks of their relationship. If it succeeded now without tumbling over, it would succeed always, no matter what they faced. Jack wondered if perhaps he had done that with Charlie.... but it was pointless to think like that.

For his part, Daniel did not consciously think about what he was doing. He let instinct take over. He was testing himself, to see if he really did have what it took to guide another through the beginnings of life. He let the child set the path that they would take and was surprised to find that the little boy was as keen on stories as he had been as a child. The difference being that Daniel had had to learn to read and tell them to himself. They lost hours just sitting, the child in his lap, little fingers playing with his shirt buttons, Daniel telling the child about Abydos, the year that he and Sha're shared, about Egypt and the other countries he had travelled to, about history, myths, the old stories that have comforted and guided people through thousands of years. He marvelled at the child's ability to maintain concentration far longer than a child of his age should. At times the little person studied his face with fierce concentration and wonder, watching every word as it slipped from Daniel's lips, gazing wide eyed into space as Daniel created whole worlds in front of them where there had previously been the austere surroundings of the infirmary. At other times he lay back, secure in Daniel's arms, peaceful and lulled by the tiny vibrations the words caused in Daniel's chest and throat. By the end of the second week, Daniel began to believe himself that maybe he could do this, he could find within himself the courage to be a parent to the small person who slept so peacefully in his arms. His decision made, the young man was less than surprised to find the peace really did begin to settle in his soul.

~~~

One morning, about two weeks after Daniel had been introduced to the child, the scientist poked his head around the door of Jack's office.

'Have you got a minute Jack?' Jack quickly put away the report he was working on and gave Daniel his full attention.

'Let's see, write a report or talk to Daniel, just let me sit on that for a moment.'

Daniel grinned and sat down in the chair in front of Jack's desk. 'I've decided that today's the day Jack.' Daniel's eyes were eager and bright but he also seemed slightly nervous.

'The day for what Daniel?' Jack wondered if the young man was considering taking the child off base despite the fact that Janet had still not completed all her tests. He tried to think of a tactful way to dissuade the enthusiastic man.

'For the welcome ceremony.'

Jack let out a sigh of relief. Then he frowned. 'Welcome ceremony? I'm not exactly familiar with that particular esoteric ancient ritual, surprisingly.'

Daniel patiently explained. 'Jack on Abydos a child is not named until they are aged around two. Names are very important in Abydos culture and it was thought you could not properly give a child the gift of a name until you knew their personality, so you knew what was appropriate. On Abydos, all names had meanings. This name is given in a welcome ceremony performed by the parents.'

Jack thought that sounded fair enough. 'So what's involved in this welcome ceremony?'

Daniel grinned and stood up. 'Meet us down in the infirmary at 1500 hours and you'll see for yourself.'

He walked to the door.

'There aren't going to be any live sacrifices or anything are there?'

Daniel just smiled and slipped out the door.

~~~

When Jack arrived at the infirmary, Carter, Teal'c and Dr Fraiser were already there. They were looking in the window.

'Where's the parade?' quipped Jack. Carter gestured in the window. Jack took a look and caught his breath. Lucky there were no other patients at the moment, he thought.

The beds in the room had been pushed to one side and a deep dust-red patterned cloth covered the floor. Flickering candles lit the room instead of the usual hard fluorescent lights. A scent that Jack vaguely recognised wafted through the door. A tray with a collection of gold and clay bottles and pots was positioned on one corner of the rug.

'Oh my,' that came from Carter who had looked up from the window towards the corridor.

Jack turned around and felt his heart lurch.

Daniel was walking towards them down the corridor carrying the child. They were both resplendent in Abydonian robes which billowed out behind them. There was a confidence and majesty in Daniel's stride that Jack couldn't remember ever having seen before. He looked like an ancient prince triumphantly returning to reclaim the crown. The child sat straight in his arms, looking towards them with the same clear blue eyes as his father. For a moment it was as if Jack was seeing a ghost, some earlier version of the broken other Daniel which had stepped through the mirror and irrevocably altered all of theirs existence. He suddenly realised how his Daniel must have felt intimidated by the arrival of the visitor, but all the time knowing that this was inside him too, that the visitor was showing him what he could be capable of being. And now he had come into his own.

Jack felt a soaring sense of pride as Daniel stepped up to them.

'Thank you all for coming.' He spoke in low, hushed tones.

Sam's eyes were shining. 'We wouldn't miss this for the world Daniel.' Teal'c nodded in agreement.

'Then shall we go in?' Daniel gestured that they should enter the infirmary.

The small group stepped into the room and following Daniel's lead they sat down on the intricately decorated rug. Daniel set the child down in the middle of the rug then sat crossed legged about an arm's length from him. Jack watched Carter, Teal'c and Janet sit down in the corners of the rug and then sat down himself, his knees twinging slightly as he remembered how long it had been since he sat on the floor.

Then Daniel spoke. 'I will endeavour to provide an English translation for most of the ceremony but there are some things which just don't translate because the concepts are built into the Abydonian words, so please, um, bare with me if I appear to be rambling on for a while and you can't understand what I'm going on about.' Slightly affected by the solemnity of the occasion, Jack kept his grin on the inside as he realised that underneath the newly found confidence, his lover was the same man he'd always been.

Then he spoke a few sentences in the language of Abydos. 'I am honoured that you choose to attend the welcome ceremony for the son of Sha're of Abydos and Daniel of Earth.'

This one clear sentence was followed by a stream of Abydonian. Carter sneaked a quick glance at Jack to register whether he was as impressed with Daniel's language skills as she was. But Jack was gazing at the young man with a fierce intensity of awe and pride and did not see anyone else.

The melodic rhythm of the words broke off abruptly as Daniel reached for a small clay dish and one of the bottles from the tray. He poured a little of the cloying black liquid from the bottle into the dish. Setting the dish on the floor between him and the child, the solemn man dipped a fingertip in the liquid and pressed his finger to the centre of the child's forehead. He uttered a phrase in Abydonian and then in English. 'This name is for your mind,' he removed the finger leaving a black smudge behind and pressed his hand to the child's chest, 'for your heart,' he then swiped his hand over the child's eyes, not touching them but for the gentlest brush over his long lashes, 'and for your soul.'

Jack watched how the child stared up at Daniel absolutely entranced by the actions.

Janet thought briefly about the recent christening of her niece and how she had screamed all the way through. There was definitely something intrinsically Daniel about this child that at such a young age it could be so enthralled by the rituals of an ancient ceremony.

Daniel gathered up the hands of the child in his own and murmured again a soft, melodic chant in the ancient language.

'Your mother, Sha're, offers you her courage. She gives to you the gift to see where others may be blind, to recognise the light and welcome it. She bestows on you the hope of your people, the desire to change the old ways and to leave the false gods behind. She offers you her kindness, such that you will not forget those who will look to you for guidance. She offers you her laughter, so you will be happy.'

Daniel leaned forward and kissed the palms of the small hands clasped in his own. Then he murmured another soft chant. Jack caught his breath, wondering what it was Daniel would offer the child from himself. He did not have to wait long for soon the words came that he could understand.

'Your father, Daniel, offers you his understanding. He gives to you the gift of learning from the past, to recognise the mistakes of forefathers and aim to change the future. He bestows on you the thirst of your people, the desire to remove the boundaries which enclose your world. He offers you his compassion, such that you will always strive to understand, even if you do not agree with what you learn. He offers you his sacrifice, so you will be happy.'

Sacrifice? Jack fought the urge to interrupt and ask exactly what Daniel meant by this. Was he referring to the 'other' Daniel? The first father to this child? Or did he mean something else, something which he was keeping to himself. What sacrifice? The word kept throbbing in Jack's mind. A creeping fear began to seep up from his toes and fingertips.

Daniel was chanting again in the ancient tongue. He selected another bottle and another dish from the tray and this time shook out a scattering of yellow powder into the dish. He took a lighted candle and moved it under the dish. The powder began to smoke and a soft hissing noise could be heard.

After a minute the powder had reacted with the heat to become a few drops of liquid. Daniel set the dish on the floor between them. He dipped a second finger into the yellow liquid and pressed it to the child's forehead over the black smudge.

He chanted again but this time there was no English translation. Then he removed his hand, leaving a bright yellow mark over the black one and reached for the child's hands again, clasping them in his own.

Carter jumped a little as he spoke strongly in Abydonian, before that his speech had been quite hushed.

'But it is for the qualities you already possess that your mother and your father welcome you with this name. This name is for the curiosity, the perseverance, the balance which you have already displayed. It means the hunger in our souls which urges us to strive for a better way. Your mother and father welcome you Ari'ef of Abydos and Earth.'

He leant down and kissed the boy's palms again, then kissed him gently on both cheeks. 'Welcome, my son.'

Jack was so sure the ceremony was now over he readied himself to bound up from the rug and start question time. He really needed to speak to Daniel.

But it was not over. Daniel began chanting again in Abydonian and Jack's ears twitched as he felt sure he heard his own name within the flow of unfamiliar words.

'If you should ever find yourself alone my son, there is another who will offer you guidance. He offers you his endurance. He gives to you the gift of surviving, of staring into the blackness of fear and experience, and keeping your eyes open. He bestows on you the strength of his people, the desire to fight even while those who seek to crush you appear strong. He offers you his tenderness, such that you will always remember that no matter how experience hardens you, it cannot enclose your heart. He offers you his love, so that you will be happy.

'This person is Jack O'Neill. Jack do you accept?'

Jack looked around at the rest of his team. He didn't know what to say, the honour weighed heavily on his shoulders. He was deeply touched that Daniel thought so highly of him and also deeply frightened that he would not be able to fulfil the responsibility in the manner of which Daniel had spoken. But he also knew there was only one answer. Daniel was looking at him with peaceful eyes, confident that Jack would accept. Jack turned his gaze to the child.

'Yes, I accept.'

Daniel gestured that Jack should approach the centre of the mat. He tried not to wince as his knees twinged again and pleaded with his body to let him do this for Daniel according to ritual. He knew how seriously Daniel was taking this ceremony. He knelt down beside Daniel.

The younger man reached across him and selected a third bottle and the final dish from the tray. This time a dust-red thin liquid poured into the clay dish. Daniel looked firmly into Jack's eyes as he took Jack's hand warmly in his own and dipped his fingertip into the liquid. Letting Daniel guide his hand, Jack felt an overwhelming sense of unity as his fingertip pressed gently against the child's forehead. The black, yellow and red combined to form an ochre. Daniel guided Jack's hand down and clasped it together with his own and the small hands of the child. Closing his eyes Daniel whispered something in Abydonian. He sighed and opened his eyes. He looked around at Sam, Teal'c and Janet observing the ceremony with appropriate reverence. He looked at Jack who was staring down at their hands as if he was completely overcome by the situation.

'This is family,' he murmured and gently dropped their hands. Rubbing his hands on his robes he smiled shyly. 'That line wasn't actually official, but it's just something I feel.' He gently tapped Jack on the shoulder. 'It's okay Jack, show's over. Feel free to laugh now,' he whispered affectionately into Jack's ear.

Jack stayed kneeling on the mat as Daniel rose and started gathering up the bottles and dishes. Teal'c started moving around the room blowing out the candles while Carter stood and turned on the lights. The room became the infirmary again.

Janet picked up Ari'ef, who was blinking in the bright light, and gave him a welcoming cuddle.

Jack caught hold of Daniel's robes as he swished past. 'Daniel, we have to talk.'

Daniel squatted down beside Jack and looked at him with concern. 'Were you alright with that Jack, I know I kinda sprung it on you but you're not supposed to ask beforehand, tradition, you know.'

'Daniel, that's not what I meant. I have questions to ask you about...'

But Jack never got to finish his sentence.

'Oh my god!' gasped Dr Fraiser. The entire room turned around to stare at her, such was the horror in her voice.

The child's robes had fallen loosely apart exposing his stomach. Fine red lines criss-cross the round light brown stomach, standing out grotesquely on the pure infant skin.

'That was not there when I examined him this morning,' Janet sounded dumb-founded. And frightened.

'Could it be an allergic reaction to the stuff Daniel put on his forehead?' Sam moved in for a closer look and drew in her breath when she saw the familiar red markings lying just under the skin. Jack was on his feet in an instant and charged over. The bile rose in his throat as he saw the evidence of the sickness on the child.

'This child is going to intensive care. Now!' Dr Fraiser whisked him out of the room with Carter hot on her heels.

Teal'c and Jack exchanged looks of horror. Teal'c turned to the man who stood on the far side of the room, the side which was still in shadows as the lights had only half been turned on. 'If a cure is possible, I have every confidence Dr Fraiser will find it Daniel Jackson.' He left the room.

Jack looked at Daniel who had retreated further into the shadows still clutching two of the bottles. He took a step towards him. 'It will be alright Danny, I promise.'

He squinted into the gloom but could not see Daniel's expression. All he heard were the words escaping from his lover's lips and felt the full force as they rammed him in the chest.

'Never again. Never again.'

~~~

Jack's mouth was dry. He licked his lips. What could he say, what could possibly be said? What did the world have against Daniel - a man more inoffensive, compassionate, intrinsically good, did not exist. Why did life keep pulling his feet out from under him?

Perhaps this world just wasn't ready for the responsibility of Daniel's happiness.

This time Jack crossed the room to join his lover in the shadows. He wasn't about to let him walk away again.

Daniel was shaking. He was staring at the door - the door through which Dr Fraiser had taken his hope, his peace. Jack wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

'Daniel, I'm ....' sorry seemed ruthlessly inadequate. Jack gulped and tried to find other words. Words to reassure.

The desolate man turned his face to look at Jack. For the second time that morning Jack recognised the man from the mirror. His lover was silently screaming, and there was nothing Jack could do. He hadn't felt this helpless since he cradled his son in his arms, waiting for the next breath which never came.

He pulled Daniel into him, wrapping strong arms around the shaking man, burying his face in Daniel's hair. The room was filled with a low keening moan. Jack felt the warm moisture seeping through the fabric of his shirt to his shoulder. He rocked back and forth on his heels slowly, resorting to familiar, instinctive rituals of comfort, holding on to his lover tightly. He felt a slight pressure in his arms as Daniel's legs gave way and both men sank to the floor together. Jack winced as Daniel's fists kneaded his chest. He was reminded of a cat he'd once had as a pet. She had been taken away from her mother too young and retained into adulthood the action of pawing at soft fabric, cushions, Jack's jumpers, anything resembling a mother's warm comforting body. As Daniel was reaching out to him now.

Jack shifted slightly intending to envelop his friend more firmly, but felt Daniel quietly slip from his embrace and as Jack watched, the broken man curled up on the hard infirmary floor, hugging his knees to his chest, laying his cheek against the cold linoleum, staring into the grey floor, he saw not even a shadow of the confident, peaceful man of earlier that day.

Jack knelt, not even registering the pain in his knees - it was nothing compared to the searing heat in his chest. He gazed over his lover, knowing there was nothing he could say or do. This horror went so deep that only Daniel would be able to dig himself out. Jack could hand him the spade but that was about all. But first Daniel had to decide whether he wouldn't prefer to be buried alive, and at the moment Jack could see he thought that was the only viable option.

Jack lay down on the floor beside Daniel. He stared up at the ceiling, allowing his friend some privacy in his grief, or so he told himself. Really he found it too much to make contact with those tortured blue eyes. Daniel was silent now, having retreated into himself deeper than tears could find him. Numb, and alone.

The two men lay on the floor in silence, until Teal'c returned to sadly tell them Dr Fraiser had confirmed the sickness.

Part 2

Jack O'Neill sat at his desk, a report lying unread in front of him. To any junior officer glancing in the window as he passed, it would look as if the Colonel was concentrating on the document, his brow furrowed into a frown, so deep in thought that he was not even tapping his pen against the desk, his hands lying still on the desk. To any junior officer, Colonel O'Neill was a-okay, just a bit snowed under and not to be disturbed.

In the reality of Jack's office, he saw no report on his desk and his hands felt like stone paperweights, hard and lifeless. He was lost in thought but thoughts not of Stargate commands, off-world travel or goa'uld threat. Instead, Jack tried to imagine how he would've felt if Charlie had been taken from him little by little, day by day, instead of in an instant. If he had endured weeks or months of agonising watching, waiting and hoping, instead of an afternoon, in which all hope was sucked from him within the time it took for an ambulance to arrive. He didn't know which was worse. His boy had been alive, full of energy and spirit, and in an instant he was dead. Daniel was spending every waking hour in the infirmary with a child who was fading day by day. Jack wondered if it was awful of him to be grateful that Charlie never knew what had happened to him. Somehow, he knew that Daniel was better equipped to endure this way. Daniel needed time to adjust. Jack had to admit that the short sharp shock method h

Jack rubbed at his face and with a muffled sigh, noticed the report in front of him. It could wait. Groaning slightly as he eased himself up from his desk - he'd been sitting in the one position for way too long - Jack headed for the door, stopping on the way to check that the cabinet housing his military issue hand gun was securely locked.

Then he locked his office door and headed for the infirmary.

Dr Fraiser had been on at him to try to prise Daniel away from the child's bedside for at least a meal and a shower, even if he refused to get some sleep. She'd given Jack some sedatives and suggested he try to coax the stubborn man into taking one but Jack knew that was pointless. He jiggled the bottle around in his pocket nervously, then on impulse slipped it into a rubbish bin he passed in the corridor. Daniel didn't need drugs, he needed a miracle.

Jack hesitated at the door to the infirmary. Through the window he could see the child lying in the huge bed surrounded by every type of blinking and beeping machine available. Daniel was there at his bedside as usual. It had been three days since the discovery of the rash, three days since... Jack swallowed heavily. Daniel had not been home in that time, he'd not even left the infirmary for more than a few minutes. He'd been sitting by that bed for 72 hours and since that first awful moment when the future that Jack had encouraged him to believe in had come crashing down, he had shed no more tears.

A door banged in the distance and Daniel lifted his gaze to the window. Jack tentatively raised his hand and gave a small wave. The sorrow in Daniel's expression was unbearable, but Jack plucked up his courage and slipped quietly into the infirmary.

Before he could take the few quick steps to cover the ground to be at Daniel's side, Dr Fraiser leapt out of her office and ambushed him. Damn, she should've been a commando. She hustled him into her inner sanctum.

'Colonel, I think you're aware the prognosis is not looking good.' Janet spoke gently but her words cut Jack to his soul.

'Dr Fraiser, if that child dies we won't just lose one battle.'

'I know that Sir.'

'So we try harder. Have you given him everything you can possibly think of? Have you requested clearance for specialists in this area of medicine? Are you absolutely sure it is what we think it is?'

The look on Janet's weary face told Jack the answers to his gabbled, desperate questions.

'Dr Fraiser, Janet, I'm begging you to try again. I'm not willing to lose both of them.'

Dr Fraiser looked at him questioningly and Jack realised he'd let a little too much slip out. Then again, what the hell. Worrying about airforce policy on homosexuals seemed just a little petty right now considering what Daniel was facing. Considering what they all were facing. He shook his head tersely and shoved his shaking hands deep into his pocket. What he really wanted to do was punch the wall, let off some of the stress he was experiencing. But he had to remain rational, clear-eyed, for Daniel's sake.

Dr Fraiser laid a hand on his arm. 'Colonel, you should get some rest yourself.'

'I need to speak to Daniel first.' He looked towards the infirmary, just to check that Daniel was still there. As if he wouldn't be, Jack chided himself. His lover sat straight in the chair, any signs of tiredness beaten back in a heroic effort to catch every movement, every expression, every tiny noise from his son, to treasure every single moment they had left. Jack drew in a shuddering breath and closed his eyes wearily.

He opened them when he felt Janet push a tray into his hands.

'At least take this in with you,' she pursed her lips as if stopping herself from saying more. Jack looked down at the tray of sandwiches and nodded. He backed through the office door and strode into the infirmary.

Daniel was holding Ari'ef's hand, the little fingers closing tight around his own. The child's breathing was laboured and he was sedated by the large amounts of painkillers being fed into his veins through numerous tubes attached to his stomach and feet. Nevertheless, the bright blue eyes were alert and active, following every movement of the man sitting at his side. Daniel was speaking to the child in hushed, soothing tones, occasionally pausing to stroke his son's fine black hair. Jack stood beside Daniel and listened.

Daniel was telling his son the story of a boy. This boy was just an ordinary boy who spent his days running about the dunes with his friends, laughing at the false gods who thought they had enslaved his people. But this boy knew better. He knew that when a group of strangers arrived in his world, the time had come for his people to be freed. One of the strangers was a great warrior, who carried a great sadness. He was looking for his son whom he had lost long ago. The boy made the warrior laugh and in return the warrior taught him how to free his people. In time the boy became a leader of his people and the sad warrior returned home, but he always remembered the boy who reminded him how to laugh. In time, the sad warrior became happy. It took Jack a few minutes to recognise himself and Skaara in the story, with the unique Daniel Jackson improvised happy ending which Jack wasn't overly sure he really bought, but then again, he guessed what he thought wasn't too important right now.

When Daniel finished the story, Jack put a hand on his shoulder.

'Hey, I come bearing sandwiches. Doctor's orders.'

He offered the plate to Daniel.

'No thanks Jack.'

Jack looked around and sat the plate on the adjacent bed. Then he pulled up a chair ad sat down next to Daniel.

'How's our junior space-monkey?'

Daniel brought the small hand up to his lips and kissed it gently. 'Not so good today huh Ari?'

The child gazed at him with wide eyes. Close up Jack could see that they were cloudy with pain and medication.

Not taking his eyes off his son, Daniel frowned. 'Jack, I thought the 'other' me said it took a few weeks to take effect.'

Jack put a heavy hand on his lover's shaking leg. 'I think that's what he said, I can't really remember. Why?' he asked softly.

'Because this seems to be happening way too quickly. Three days ago he was fine and now he's... now he's nearly gone...' Daniel faded out and Jack felt a drop of moisture fall on his hand. He squeezed Daniel's leg helplessly.

'We don't know when he was infected. Maybe it was weeks ago, we don't know...'

A soft, resigned reply. 'Oh yes, you're right Jack. I'm not really thinking clearly I guess.'

Jack almost grinned. The one thing you could rely on with Daniel was that he would always be his own harshest critic. 'Daniel, no one expects you...'

The child let out a soft cry and Daniel's attention was only for the small person lying in front of him. He rhythmically stroked the child's head and chest which seemed to calm him. He started murmuring a slow song in some ancient language, Jack didn't have a hope of knowing which one, and succeeded in distracting the child by tracing abstract shapes on his round, brown stomach. Jack felt superfluous and, with one last squeeze of Daniel's thigh, rose from his chair and shuffled out of the room.

Daniel wanted to call out to him. Ask him to stay. Tell him he needed Jack by his side. Let him know it would only be their combined strength that would get him through this one. But the child in front of him needed him more.

~~~

Jack was pacing around Carter's lab. Teal'c sat serenely in a chair and both he and Sam, who was sitting at her desk, watched the Colonel nervously charge back and forth across the room. Every so often he picked up something, a book or a test-tube, fiddled with it restlessly, put it back down and continued pacing. All the while he muttered, as much to himself as to his colleagues.

'There's got to be something we can do. The doctor's given up, Daniel's a mess... he's not going to get through this, it's the last straw for him I know... should've left well enough alone when he didn't want anything to do with the kid, but no, I had to convince him... then this happens.... So now it's my responsibility, my responsibility Carter, Teal'c, to fix this, find the cure, I have to do this Carter.'

Jack finally looked up at his friends. 'I have to do something. I can't lose him. I need him.' He stopped just short of what he wanted to say. I love him, and I can't bear to see him in this much pain.

'Sir, we all need Daniel. We all want to help find a cure if it exists.' Sam started shredding the corner of a piece of paper on her desk. Jack stared at her fingers, seemingly mesmerised by the action.

Teal'c rose from his chair. 'I will travel to Chu'lak. There are priests there who are said to know of all afflictions affecting humans. They may know of a cure.'

'I doubt it Teal'c, since it was the Goa'uld who invented this... this... plague, specifically in order to wipe out humans. This has got to be the mother of all diseases, the Goa'uld don't make a habit of doing things by halves....'

Jack broke off and stared again at the piece of paper. 'The mother of all diseases...' he muttered again. 'Major Carter!' he barked suddenly.

'Yes Sir!' Sam jumped to attention.

'You wouldn't happen to be shredding official documents now would you?'

Carter looked down at the twisted piece of paper in her hands. 'Um, no,' she stuttered, 'this was just a draft report from the mission to P3X 386 three weeks ago. I'm a little behind in my reports and...'

Jack snatched the paper from her hands. He glanced over it quickly then headed for the door.

'Teal'c, come with me, Carter, you tell General Hammond we'll meet him in the briefing room in ten minutes,' Jack dispensed the orders over his shoulder.

'But Sir...' Sam stood up.

He paused momentarily at the door. 'Carter we don't have the time okay.'

'Colonel, sir, I can't tell General Hammond we are calling a meeting.' Sam raised her eyebrows and pointed to the markings on her uniform.

Jack was only stumped for a moment. 'Oh fer cryin' out loud, we'll get Hammond then and you get Daniel.' He looked pointedly at Carter, deadly serious. 'But you better get him Carter, cos I've got something he'll want to hear.' With that parting gift he charged out into the corridor. 'Teal'c!' he could be heard faintly calling from the elevators at the end of the corridor. Teal'c and Sam exchanged confused glances and left the lab.

~~~

Sam approached the infirmary with some trepidation. She'd tried to speak to Daniel earlier that day but had found him to be beyond conversation. She herself hadn't really known what to say to him either. So they'd sat in silence, Daniel holding the sleeping child in his arms, slowly rocking back and forth, Sam studying the monitors which were keeping track of every breath, every heartbeat, every movement in the small body wracked by the creeping infection.

Now, when she peeped her head around the door she saw him lying head down on the bed, his hair falling against the child, one hand cupping the small, fragile head. Ari'ef was awake and waved his arms at Sam as she approached the bed. As much as she was loathe to wake Daniel, she figured whatever desperate last-ditch plan Jack had thought of, Daniel would want to hear it. She smiled and caught hold of the tiny hands, clapping them together as she remembered used to entertain her little nephew. Daniel quickly raised his head and looked around himself, disorientated. He reached up and adjusted his glasses which were sitting crookedly on his nose.

'Oh, Sam, it's you.' He pushed up under his glasses and rubbed at his tired red-rimmed eyes. 'I thought it was Jack.... He was here earlier.' He frowned as if trying to remember, then shook his head to wake himself up. Sam put an arm around his shoulders..

'Daniel, Jack's thought of something that might help. He's called a meeting with the General in, um,' she checked her watch, 'five minutes now. I think you should be there.'

Daniel looked down at the child.

'And that would entail leaving here...'

Sam took his hand. 'Janet will watch over him I'm sure. You've been doing such a good job Daniel, this won't take long and then you'll be back here.'

Daniel blinked as if considering this. Dr Fraiser came out of her office and walked over to them.

'I've just had a call from General Hammond. It's alright Daniel, I'll stay with him.'

Daniel bit his lip, Sam could see he was torn. She had to say something more to convince him, but Jack really hadn't given her anything of any use.

'Daniel, the Colonel's idea, I think it has something to do with our last mission, the one to P3X 386. The one where we met the woman with a bank of sarcasm to rival the Colonel's.' She grinned.

Daniel folded his arms and frowned for a minute, wondering what on earth Jack could've thought would help them there... Sam and Janet exchanged smiles as they saw the light begin to turn on in the archeologist's eyes. 'Of course! We should've thought of that sooner!'

He bent down and quickly kissed the child on both cheeks. 'Watch out for the needle and candy thing, Jack always falls for it but you're smarter than that. A needle will always hurt, the trick is to get the doc to give you the sweet first,' he whispered conspiratorially to his son who grinned back. Janet feigned offense.

He and Carter walked towards the door. The child began crying at the sudden absence of his father. Sam looked carefully at Daniel. He wavered and hesitated for a moment at the door, but seemed to steel himself and continued down the corridor. Once again Sam marvelled at Daniel's ability to rise to the occasion.

Without pausing to knock he burst into the briefing room where Jack, Teal'c and the General were already seated. Daniel strode straight over to Jack.

'Great suggestion, I agree, let's get going.' He looked at Jack expectantly.

'Uh, Daniel, we've still got to run it by the General. And how do you know what I'm planning?'

'Intuition Jack,' Daniel grunted then turned to General Hammond. 'General, we'd like to request permission to return to P3X 386.'

'Now just hold on a minute Dr Jackson. Would someone please explain to me what is the nature of this 'plan' because I seem to be the only one left out of the loop here. Colonel?'

Jack locked his fingers together on the table in front of him. 'General, I believe that the being we encountered on P3X 386 may be able to provide a cure for the infection which is killing Dr Jackson's child.' Jack winced at having to put it so bluntly and chanced a sideways glance at Daniel. He was wound up tighter than a spring and incredibly stressed, Jack could tell that from the way he refused to sit down when Sam gestured to a seat, but paced up and down the room instead, an unknowing reflection of Jack in Carter's lab just 15 minutes earlier.

'And what brings you to that conclusion Colonel O'Neill?'

Before Jack could answer, Daniel jumped in. 'Look, I appreciate that there are procedures to be followed here but we are wasting time that my child does not have!' He thumped the table with the flat of his hand in frustration. 'The being there called herself Mater, she had powers akin to the concept of a Mother Nature, and she said she had been working on constructing a superior race of humans and had already conducted her research into illness and medicines. She may know of a cure.' He paused for breath and the General seized the opportunity.

'That's just speculation Dr Jackson. We all want to save that child from the fate suffered by it's people, that is a given, but I can't authorise gate travel on a proposal as vague and unsubstantiated as that.'

Daniel pursed his lips and stared at the General. His eyes darkened. Oh boy, Jack had seen that expression before. On a video tape, in this very room. The General better duck.

'Then I will go alone, and I will take my child with me.'

Jack figured it was about time he said something before General Hammond decided he was closed to all offers.

'Daniel, sit down, no one's going anywhere alone.' He patted the seat of the chair next to him locking eyes with his lover. Sit down Danny for chrissake.

The one thing Daniel knew at that moment was everyone in the room could see how desperate he was. But as he looked into those solid brown eyes, he could only trust in Jack's methods and grudgingly sat down.

'General, if I may be frank, this woman Mater wasn't exactly very forthcoming as to the extent of her knowledge, but she did strike me as possessing fairly extraordinary abilities and I think Carter will back me up here.' Jack tried to make his tone conciliatory.

'Major Carter, do you have anything to add?'

'Sir only that she was a woman of remarkable, uh, talents and I don't think we can dismiss this possibility without even asking her if she is able to help.'

'Teal'c? what's your opinion on this matter?'

'I did not warm to Mater, General Hammond, but she did appear to be highly skilled.'

Ah, so a Jaffa once scorned.... Jack filed away that useful tidbit of information.

General Hammond surveyed his team. They were not in their best form. Colonel O'Neill looked as if he'd about two hours sleep in the past three days, Teal'c appeared to have a chip on his shoulder about something and Carter was way too blindly optimistic. And Dr Jackson? Dr Jackson was a loose cannon at the moment. Who knew what the man would do if a cure was not forthcoming?

But he couldn't deny them the opportunity to try. With a sinking heart he gave the nod.

'Prepare to ship out in one hour. Dismissed.'

Colonel O'Neill leapt to his feet. 'Thank you Sir.'

The General paused as he passed Jack. 'Don't thank me, just bring Dr Jackson back in one piece.'

Jack turned to the troops. 'Right kids, you heard the General. Prepare to ship out.'

Colonel Jack O'Neill was back in business. This was something he knew he could do to make it up to Daniel, for everything.

~~~

One hour later Colonel O'Neill, Carter and Teal'c were standing at the bottom of the ramp with their packs and gear. Outwardly Jack was brusque and in command, making Carter go over their equipment three times and throwing orders around like nobody's business. But inside he was wracked with self-doubt. If this didn't succeed, if he couldn't save Daniel's child any more than he could save his own then... He swallowed the thought along with the bile rising in his throat. There had once been a time, long ago, where Jack would throw up before every mission. Just nerves, but it had been a long time since Colonel Jack O'Neill had felt nervous. He looked around for Daniel, knowing that just one look at his lover was always enough to set his world to rights.

Daniel hurried into the embarkation room. He was carrying a small bundle.

Jack closed his eyes for a moment. Daniel why do you always do this to me, he cried in his head. You can't just take the easy way can you? You know what you've done don't you. That's why you're pretending not to look at me, daring me to say something about the sick child you are going to subject to gate travel. Why do you do it Daniel? Is it because you know I won't say no this time? Jack opened his eyes.

'Okay team, let's go meet mother.' The wormhole formed in the usual liquid flash of light and Jack motioned for them to walk up the ramp. Daniel flashed him a grateful smile. Jack pretended not to notice.

~~~

On the other side of the gate, Colonel O'Neill set a course straight for the temple.

'Colonel, are you sure that's the best option? We did meet her in the village ruins after all.'

'No Carter, we met her in a fully functioning village surrounded by people who didn't actually exist. Logic doesn't really play a big part here okay? We'll do this my way.'

Jack looked around and noticed Daniel lagging behind. 'Keep up Jackson!' before he motioned for Carter and Teal'c to slow down so that Daniel could catch them up.

The team reached the temple in good time, only to find it empty.

Daniel sank down onto one of the stone tablets and gently soothed the child in his arms. 'Now what do we do Jack?'

Jack wiped a hand over his brow. It hadn't occurred to him that they might not actually be able to find the old woman again. He'd been so keen to be the one to put everything to rights that he hadn't actually thought this through with his usual ingrained military thoroughness. What so we do now Jack? Jack asked himself the same question and resisted the urge to kick the pack lying at his feet. Got any bright ideas? Daniel's relying on you. You gave him hope, you can't just take it all away again.

Jack looked over at Daniel but the younger man avoided his gaze and ducked his head down, concentrating on the bundle on his lap. Jack leaned against the stone doorway to the temple and gazed out over the rolling green hills, searching for signs of life. Slowly, an idea began to push its way up through the layers of his mind.

'Last time we were here, didn't the old woman say she'd been watching us? That she'd observed us in the temple?'

'I think so Sir,' Carter looked confused. But as always Daniel knew where Jack was going. He carefully laid the child down on the stone and walked over to the mural.

He contemplated the crude drawings on the dark wall. 'What do you reckon we could say, to really piss these elements off?' he mused aloud. Jack smiled and joined him by the south wall.

'You know Dr Jackson, I haven't seen good lighting for a really long time, or thunder either. In fact, I can't remember the last time my world had a really good shaking up. Nature is pretty pissweak don't ya think?'

Daniel looked pensive. 'See that's funny Jack, cos I distinctly remember a little over two weeks ago when the earth actually moved for me...'

'Don't go there Daniel. Little pitchers and all that...' Jack nodded towards Carter who was poking her head out of the door looking at the sky. Daniel gave him a cheeky grin.

'So you're denying that my earth-shattering, mind-blowing experience was due to the power of the elements but in actual fact, could have been man-made?'

'Whatever you're saying guys, keep it up, there's some pretty black clouds forming over the hills and heading our way fast,' Carter called out.

Teal'c decided to join in. 'On Chu'lak we have very powerful thunderstorms. Much more so than on Earth, or on this world.'

'Somehow, I don't think so Teal'c, nice try.' Jack forgot for a moment who they were supposed to be baiting here. No way was he going to let Teal'c get away with exaggerating the size of his thunderstorms.

'I have seen thunderstorms O'Neill which rival an attack of Goa'uld death gliders in the damaging power of their lightning and force of rain. I have seen whole villages razed to the ground by lightning strikes, wildfires ignited which burn for weeks. This is nothing.'

Jack was about to comeback with some audacious claims of his own regarding the size of his thunderstorms when a huge crack of thunder reverberated through the stone temple.

'I think that did it guys, well done, um, whatever you said.' Sam came back into the temple, her hair dripping from the driving rain which had come from nowhere to beat down on the roof of the temple.

'And now?' Daniel turned to Jack.

'Now we wait,' Jack answered grimly.

So they waited. They waited whilst the thunder roared around them and the rain drummed down incessantly. Carter stood in the doorway and watched the hills turn to streaming muddy slopes and floodwaters begin to creep over the flats from the over-flowing river to lap at the base of the temple.

'Colonel remind me again why you decided to call down a thunderstorm?'

'To get the old girl to show herself Carter I thought it was obvious!'

'I think Jack, what Sam means is why not just a big wind or....something.'

Jack pursed his lips. The longer they waited the harder it was becoming to keep up his bravado. But he refused to let doubt edge its way into his words. 'This shows her we mean business. Trust me Carter, this will work.'

Sure enough, the bent over figure of the old woman soon appeared through the rain. She wore a long cloak but was saturated nevertheless. Daniel jumped to his feet as soon as she emerged through the temple door. Jack gave him a warning look to let him handle it.

The old woman ignored them and muttered to herself as she shook out her cloak and fussed about, drying her face on a small cloth taken from within her voluminous dress. She then shuffled over to Daniel, studied him and gave a low grunt. Then she crossed over to where Colonel O'Neill was standing by the mural.

She jabbed him in the stomach with a bony finger. 'Think you're smart don't you.'

Jack forced out a pleasant smile. 'Well, for a dumb soldier anyway.'

She grunted again and cast her eyes upwards to the depictions of the elements. 'It'll take them a while to calm down now. Not used to insults are you my dears? We get very cross don't we? Never mind, Mater still loves you.' Although she had her back to them and still fixed her gaze on the pictographs, she addressed the group.

'So what do you want? Why have you returned?'

Jack took a deep breath. 'We came to ask a favour.'

Mater twitched her head to the side and peered at him.

Carter stepped forward. 'You said last time that you'd been studying to create a superior race of humans to populate this world.'

Mater hurumphed again. 'Yes, well, given up on that now haven't we. Decided that humans are far more trouble than they're worth.'

Carter cast a worried glance at Jack. 'What happened to your research?'

Mater eased herself down on one of the stone tablets. 'Such a lot of questions, but you never answer mine do you? What is your business here? Speak!' She peered critically at Daniel. 'You, Dr Daniel Jackson, you were the talkative one last time, what have you got to say for yourself hmm? Let's you and me deal face to face, without the distracting incompetent efforts of these foot soldiers. What is it you want?'

Teal'c and Carter both stepped forward to protest the insult but Jack held them back with a look. As much as he wanted to tell the old woman what he thought of her, he didn't want to ruin Daniel's chance.

Daniel did not reply, he just held out the child wrapped in a blanket to the old woman. She sniffed and took the bundle onto her own lap. Daniel watched closely as she peeled back the cloth and ran her wizened hands over the child's body. Jack noticed the red streaks had spread and were almost reaching to the neckline. The old woman tut-tutted and muttered to herself.

'I take it you want me to fix it then?'

Daniel gazed at her with pleading eyes. Jack looked away, he couldn't bear to see the desperation cast in his lover's expression. Mater pursed her lips speculatively.

'Maybe I can. But there will be conditions of course.'

'Of course,' said Daniel quickly, before Jack could jump in.

'Hmmm...' mused the old woman. 'Soldierboy, you wanted to say something?' she looked up at Jack.

'Before we agree to any conditions, I want to know one way or the other, because we don't have any time to waste here. Can you cure him?' Jack hated taking the hard line but his gut instinct told him this old woman had a somewhat more grandiose notion of her powers and influence than existed in reality.

She narrowed her eyes at him. 'No, I can't cure him.'

'Okay troops, we're outa here. Daniel grab the kid, Carter get our packs. It was nice seeing you again Mater but we have a life to save, goodbye.' Jack headed for the door.

'But I can save his life,' Mater called out, 'given certain conditions of course.'

'Of course,' said Jack as he slowly turned around. 'We're listening.'

~~~

The old woman handed the child back to Daniel and fumbled through the many layers of her dress. All eyes were on her as she pulled out a small black disc resembling a button from the depths of one of her many pockets. She turned it over in her fingers lovingly.

'This is what I was going to use in my people when I got around to finishing my studies and creating the prototypes. It acts like a second immune system, assisting that fairly inadequate one humans possess ordinarily. It will suppress the disease which afflicts this child, but cannot rid the body of it completely, it is not a cure. If the implant is removed or I deactivate it then the disease will return and the child will die.'

'Can I see it?' Carter leaned in for a closer look. Mater grudgingly handed it over. Carter turned it over in her fingers.

'This is amazing technology. It's like a chip of some sort, I can't even begin to conceive of what a difference this could make...'

'Yeah, okay Carter let's not get carried away. Isn't that just a little bit too mechanical for who you are. Shouldn't you have a more 'natural' method than a microchip?' Jack sounded highly skeptical.

Mater cackled. 'I never said I was that mother nature you compared me to, I said I was similar. I don't do fish for a start. What is natural anyway? Natural is perhaps I give him a potion to drink, a powder to rub on his skin yes? Natural is I chant over his sleeping body and snap my fingers and he is cured? Perhaps you can tell me what natural is Soldier. What were you expecting?'

She arched her matted grey eyebrows at O'Neill expectantly.

When he didn't answer she cackled again. 'Oh I see, yes, I see it all now. Natural is everything I was missing from my studies yes? That's what you think? Natural is compassion for other humans yes? Natural is the soldier's desire to protect his companion yes? Natural is a man's love for a child which is not his own hmm? Natural is the soldier's love for...'

'We get the picture,' Jack snapped. 'What are the conditions?'

The old woman sighed. 'I have decided to recommence my research. Maybe humans could be of a little interest after all. A little more high maintenance than the elements but if that's the way it has to be then, so be it.' She looked at Daniel. 'I now know what was missing from my data.'

'And that is?' Daniel was fascinated but when she cast her steely black eyes on him, he kinda guessed what was coming.

'Humanity,' she said triumphantly. 'Emotions, the things which drive humans to seek out interaction, company, communication. What rules their behaviour, what orders their societies, what dictates their progress. Without it, my children are just shells, vessels, completing their daily tasks, working out their lives without ever knowing why, or bothering to ask for that matter. You ask why, Dr Daniel Jackson. You are not a soldier like the others, you have not been trained to suppress your humanity. I could learn much from you.'

When he spoke, Daniel's tone was leaden. 'In exchange for my son's life, you want me to stay here.'

'Yes.'

'How long?'

'That depends on you Dr Daniel Jackson. If you are difficult, as I know humans have a tendency to be, it could take anywhere between sixty and seventy years your time. I've heard from the others that these abstract qualities can often be the hardest to pin down.'

'And if I am not difficult?'

'Then you may return to your world in about forty years, give or take.'

With that statement, Mater heaved herself up from the slab. 'I'll leave you to think it over. You people don't always see the best course of action straight away, do you?' Muttering to herself, the old woman struggled into her cloak and swept out into the torrential rain.

The team watched her go in stunned silence. Daniel was the first to speak.

'There really is no decision to be made. It's obvious that I'll stay behind and...'

'Not a chance in hell Daniel!' Jack turned to look at his lover, his face an steely mask whereas Daniel's was a wreck of emotions. 'No way are we leaving you behind,' he said more softly.

Daniel took a deep shuddering breath and stared back, challenging the soldier to remain impassive. 'This is not your decision Jack.'

'The hell it isn't!' Jack pulled at the patch on the front of his jacket and shoved it under the startled man's nose. 'When you have a badge which says General then I will follow your orders but until that day, all the decisions here are mine! Do you understand Dr Jackson!'

Daniel didn't answer. He bit down on his bottom lip and shifted slightly away from Jack. Carter looked from one angry man to the other. If it came to a battle of wills Sam knew in her heart who would win. She tried to picture what it would be like leaving Daniel behind knowing they wouldn't see him again for forty years, maybe never.

Jack took one last meaningful look at Daniel and turned away and walked over to the east wall. He sat there, alone in the shadows as the sounds of the storm raging overhead mimicked the turmoil in his mind. He cursed himself for ever thinking to bring Daniel here. Wasn't it better to live without hope, then to waste precious time chasing after some small glimmer of light only to be asked to choose between his lover and a child? That was no choice. There was no way he could condemn the child to death, but equally no way he could let Daniel sacrifice his life. He wondered if his lover had anticipated this situation, or something similar, if that could be the sacrifice he'd spoken of in the welcoming ceremony?

Jack's head began to throb and he leant his elbows on his knees, cradling his aching head in his hands. Throughout his career Colonel Jack O'Neill had prided himself on being able to put aside emotional issues and deal with the situation impartially, to do what was required according to duty, to honour and to the laws of his country. He was no foot soldier blindly following orders, but he knew his limits. He was no Daniel Jackson, he didn't have what it took to deal with the grey areas twenty four hours a day seven days a week. Heavy moral issues were not Jack's forte. He only knew what felt right. Conditioning told him that Daniel was a grown man who had made his own decision and was thus fully accountable. His son, on the other hand was an innocent, defenseless and completely at their mercy. And wasn't that why Jack had become a soldier in the first place? To protect the innocent? But in the end he also knew he could never leave Daniel behind.

He remembered the time they found Ernest Littlefield, all alone in that crumbling castle and how Daniel had insisted on staying behind to study the map of the chemical elements stored there. He had dragged Daniel out of there, knowing full well the scientist would find it hard to forgive him for the loss of such a wonder. But he couldn't leave Daniel behind, and in time Daniel had forgiven him. This time it would not be so easy to forgive, that he knew for sure. Would it be worth dragging Daniel kicking and screaming back to earth, to live the rest of his life with the man hating him?

In the silence Daniel listened to the laboured breathing of the child he held close to his chest, trying to impart some body warmth to the chilled little person. He understood why Jack would stand in the way of him doing this. At times he had doubted his own intelligence, mostly during the years when no one took his research seriously. He had also doubted his sanity, often in fact, most recently when he kept seeing Sha're in the days after she had died. He had doubted his own ability to be a parent and that was yet to be proven. But one thing he had never doubted was that Jack O'Neill loved him. No matter how angry Daniel was with him, no matter what heated words were exchanged, he knew Jack loved him. So it was understandable, that Jack would not want him to stay behind for the sake of the child. It was not callousness on Jack's part, just pure humanity. Daniel had studied enough cultures to know that no matter how big or diverse a society, people tend to form close bonds with small groups, creating artif

'Jack, we need to talk.' Daniel called out into the shadows of the far side of the temple. A shifting, sliding noise, and Jack shuffled into the light where Daniel, Sam and Teal'c waited for him. Carter looked out at the rain.

'Teal'c and I will go and check on the gate, make sure the floodwaters haven't risen around it.'

Daniel reached out and caught her arm. 'No, please stay. I need you both here. To explain this.' With a glance at the Colonel, Sam cautiously took a seat on one of the stones. Teal'c remained standing in the doorway.

'Sit down Jack.' Daniel patted the stone next to him. Jack sat down and rubbed his hands through his hair.

'Nothing you could ever say Daniel, is going to convince me to leave you behind.'

Daniel gazed at him sadly. 'Jack, you were the one who said I'd never be able to abandon my child. You were the one who said I didn't have it in me.'

'Yeah, well, I have been known to be wrong sometimes.' This conversation was a no-win whatever Jack said and he knew it.

'Jack,' murmured Daniel softly lifting his hand and tenderly running it down the Colonel's cheek. Jack instinctively shivered. Embarrassed, Sam dropped her gaze to the floor. 'You've been right all along.'

Daniel suddenly dropped his hand. 'Teal'c?'

'Yes Daniel Jackson?'

'When Ry'ac needed a goa'uld larva and you thought there were none left to give him... He was dying... you did not hesitate to offer him yours, even though it would've meant your death.'

'That is correct Daniel Jackson. I would do it again, if it were needed.'

'Thank you. Sam, what made you stay with Cassandra down in the bunker, when you thought to do so would cost you your life?'

Sam looked up and gulped. 'I guess I couldn't leave her to die alone. She was just a child.'

Daniel reached out and wrapped his warm, gentle fingers around Jack's shaking hand.

'Jack, if someone had given you the option of taking Charlie's place, wouldn't you have gladly accepted that chance?'

Jack's shoulders began to shake, timidly at first, then quickly progressing to uncontrollable shuddering as the Colonel broke down and started weeping. Daniel reached up and stretched his arm around Jack's shoulders, pulling the distraught man down to his body, which Jack promptly grasped onto, hugging Daniel tight around his middle and burying his head in the solid, living warmth of his lover's chest.

Daniel shifted as he tried to hold on to Jack and his son until Sam discretely took the child from his lap. Then he was free to wrap both his arms around Jack and attempt to comfort him.

'This just the way it has to be Jack,' murmured Daniel whilst stroking the short grey hair of his lover. 'You'll look after him, I know, you've told me that already.'

No sooner had the words slipped from Daniel's lips then Jack had broken away and was pacing fiercely across the stone floor.

'No Daniel, this is not the way it's going to be! You are coming with us back to the Stargate. We will find another cure. I will go beyond the ends of the earth to find you a cure if that's what you want but what I will not do is leave you here!'

Daniel leapt to his feet, equally fierce, equally demanding. 'I won't go Jack. This is the only chance my son has!'

Jack could hear his own breath heaving through his body. He looked at his lover standing rigid with determination, tried to stare down the passion in his eyes and failed miserably. How was it that Daniel could make him feel so powerless?

'Daniel, you are coming back with us, even if I have to physically knock you down and drag you to the gate myself.' Jack's tone was low and calm. Daniel crossed his arms.

One word. 'No.'

Jack nodded, as if that was what he expected to hear. He reached down and fumbled with his pack, unhooking the looped rope which was attached to the side pocket. Holding the rope nervously in his hands he walked over to Daniel who was still standing with his arms folded.

'Lay one hand on me, and I swear, it's over between us Jack.' Daniel's dark blue eyes were clear and confident. He knew Jack would never physically hurt him. Even as he felt the black-ops trained knuckles ram into his stomach accompanied by a swift, sharp pain, he refused to acknowledge what had just happened. Even as he sank to his knees and the hands which were grasping at his stomach, trying to pull away the searing pain, were cruelly twisted away and clenched together behind his back, his mind was refusing to recognise that this was the man he loved who was responsible for his agony. Even as the rope was wound around his wrists, burning his flesh, Daniel didn't look up to confirm it was Jack.

From a distance he heard Jack ordering Teal'c to collect the packs and Carter to take the child. Then Daniel felt himself being pulled roughly to his feet, Jack's hands holding onto his bound wrists behind him. Jack's warm breath by his ear, the slight hiss of hesitation, the words whispered low and close.

'Daniel, I will not leave you behind. Not for anyone or anything. You can hate me if you want, but I won't leave you. It's that simple.' Then he felt pressure on his arms to move forwards, to follow Sam and Teal'c out of the temple and down the steps in the driving rain, all the time Jack's hands on his wrists and insistently putting pressure between his shoulder blades. No way to escape, turn back. No choice.

The small procession made their way up the slippery, muddy slopes towards the Stargate. Daniel's glasses quickly became useless in the rain and his wet hair slicked down across his face, blown by the strong wind. Every so often Jack would pull on his arms to make him stop. Then he would push the younger man's hair from his face, try to wipe his glasses a little bit so he wouldn't stumble so often. He didn't speak. Neither did Daniel.

They reached the Stargate in good time considering they had been hiking through a raging storm and everyone was carrying an extra burden. Jack tried to gentle with his particular burden, but Daniel didn't make it easy, slowing down as they approached the gate. Twice he attempted desperately to slip from Jack's grasp and head back the way of the temple, but Jack had lost too much to let him go now. He gripped the younger man's upper arms so tightly he was sure to leave bruises, and steered Daniel inexorably towards the Gate.

Carter reached the DHD first and began entering the coordinates. Jack hoisted Daniel up out of the mud one last time and dragged him by his shirt up to the steps of the Gate. The ground was so slick with streaming water, Jack pulled the shivering man close into his arms to stop him falling over. He pushed the wet hair back from Daniel's face to look at him, to try to show the stubborn man one last time that he had done this because he couldn't bear to live without him. But Daniel refused to meet his eyes, choosing instead to huddle within himself, closing his eyes to Jack's pleading.

The wormhole flashed electric through the rain and Carter and Teal'c leapt through the Gate. Jack shook his head and decided against saying anything. He gripped Daniel by his saturated jacket and half dragged, half carried the resisting man up the steps. It occurred to Jack that were he trying to move another soldier his job would've been a lot easier simply because a soldier would've tried to fight him and Jack would've been able to use that energy to propel them forwards. But Daniel went for passive resistance, he was a soaking dead weight in Jack's arms, slithering back down the steps to the mud every time Jack made a little progress. The thunder roared above them and a crack of lightning caused a destabilisation flicker in the wormhole.

'For Christ's sake Daniel help me!' Jack cried, unsure if Daniel could hear him over the roar of the water beating down on them.

Daniel fluttered his cloudy blue eyes towards Jack for one second, then closed them again.

Jack grunted and grasped one last burst of energy from some long forgotten store deep down in his core and heaved Daniel up the steps to the flickering ice blue horizon.

'Danny,' gasped Jack as he pulled the younger man upright. He held Daniel's face between his hands. 'I have brought you this far, but it would really make me happy if you stepped through this gate on your own.' Daniel opened his eyes and looked towards the gate. 'Please Daniel. Show me you understand why I have done this, even if you don't agree with it. Those were your own words Daniel.'

Without looking back at Jack, Daniel solemnly walked into the horizon and was gone. Jack wiped the rain from his face and followed him.

~~~

A medical team was already waiting at the bottom of the ramp. Carter was handing the sodden bundle of blankets and child to Dr Fraiser who was anxiously dispensing instructions to her staff. Daniel was still standing on the ramp, seemingly in shock. Jack burst through the wormhole and took a few uncontrolled paces to end up next to him. General Hammond approached the two soaking, weary men.

'Major Carter tells me the mission was unsuccessful.'

Daniel remained silent. 'Yes Sir, unfortunately the price demanded was too high.' Jack ran his hand through his wet hair as the moisture continued to trickle down his cheeks.

'Just as well we kept working on it here then isn't it.'

'General?'

Jack followed Daniel's gaze over to the side of the embarkation room where the child was being hurried onto a stretcher and whisked away. Dr Fraiser strode over with a form and pen.

She presented them to Daniel.

'Dr Jackson, I believe we have managed to isolate the bacterium causing the infection and it may be treatable with an antibiotic which is still undergoing clinical trials. I need your signature to authorise our use of this radical treatment on your son, for which I have to add, we have not yet charted all the side effects.'

Daniel paused for a moment then spoke. 'And if I don't give consent?'

'The infection has reached a critical level, he doesn't have much longer. Maybe a few hours.'

Daniel nodded. Janet held out the pen and form to him. Jack winced as Daniel turned around and held out his still bound hands.

'Colonel, what is the meaning of this? Why is Dr Jackson restrained?'

Jack sighed and looked at the silent man. 'Dr Jackson was prepared to pay a bit more than the rest of us.' He stepped over and untied Daniel's hands, giving the wrists a quick rub to help restore circulation. Daniel turned his back to him and signed the forms. Dr Fraiser gave a quick nod and rushed out of the room.

The General frowned at the two men.

'Colonel, SG-1 will attend a full debriefing in one hour. There are a few things which need explaining. Do I make myself clear?'

'Yes Sir.'

~~~

The debriefing actually went better than Jack expected. Daniel didn't attend - he went straight to the infirmary and General Hammond arranged to debrief him separately later. That gave Jack a chance to explain what had happened and Hammond agreed that the Colonel had implemented the correct course of action given the situation. Still, Jack was glad not to be a fly on the wall when the General heard Daniel's version.

Straight after the debriefing Jack headed for the infirmary. He had no idea what he was going to say to Daniel, he just wanted to see him, make sure he was okay. But at the door of the infirmary his resolve faltered and he kept walking down the corridor. Somehow he ended up at his own office.

Before long Carter came to find him.

'Sir, can I see you for a moment?' Sam stood hesitantly in the doorway. She had backed up his version of events completely during the debriefing, but Jack couldn't help but sense the undercurrent of disapproval for his actions. However, he wasn't in the mood for recriminations right now. So he scowled at her.

'What is it Carter? I've got a lot of work.'

Sam slipped in the door and sat on the edge of the seat opposite his desk.

'Sir I just wanted to say I did support your actions today. You did what had to be done to bring Daniel home. I may not like how you did it, but as military personnel we all have to put aside our personal feelings and do things that we might otherwise prefer not to do, Sir.'

Jack frowned at the nervous airforce officer in front of him. Why did he still feel like Carter was rebuking him in some subtle way?

'What are you getting at Carter? Do you think I was wrong to use physical force against Dr Jackson? The man wasn't prepared to listen to reason !'

'What I'm saying Colonel, is none of us liked seeing you hurt Daniel but we understand why you did it.'

'Do you, Major? I hope not.' Jack dropped his gaze to the desk.

'Sir?' Carter feigned confusion. She knew damn well why Jack had done it. But she also knew he would rather she keep up the pretense.

Jack leaned back in his chair and played with a pen which was lying on his desk.

'Carter, what are we going to do if that kid dies?'

Carter looked around for the right words. 'I should think Daniel would be pretty devastated Sir.'

Jack heaved a sigh. 'And it's all my fault. Should've said no to Dan... to the other one. Should've made him go back through the mirror.'

Carter raised her eyebrows. 'And condemned a child to death Sir?'

Damn Carter, why was she always right? There was no other way he could've played this. He just had to wait and see what other punches fate had in store for him, and Daniel.

'Sir?'

Oh, Carter was still speaking to him. Jack looked up.

'Sir if I may speak frankly,' Jack gestured 'go ahead', 'I suggest you stay clear of Dr Jackson and the infirmary for the next few days, at least until they know if the treatment is working. I just spoke to Daniel and he isn't... in the most stable or logical frame of mind right now.'

'Daniel's never been stable or logical, isn't that why we like him Carter?' Jack felt compelled to quip. 'But I take you advice Major. Thank you.'

Carter took her leave.

~~~

Jack spent the next week as Carter had suggested, alone.

~~~

Daniel made no attempt to contact him. Jack gave into temptation on several occasions and tried phoning his apartment but only got the answering machine - it seemed Daniel was staying on base full time, but Jack never ran into him, not in the cafeteria, nor his lab, nor the officer's quarters. There was one place where Jack knew he'd be guaranteed to bump into him but something kept him from going down to the infirmary. Slowly it dawned on Jack that the next time he spoke to his lover it would probably be to arrange a time when he could go and pick up the few bits and pieces he had left at Daniel's apartment.

About a week later Jack was mooching around his office when the internal phone rang. It was Dr Fraiser advising him to go down to the infirmary. Her tone was serious and she gave away no other information. Jack concluded it could only be bad news. The junior spacemonkey had held on a little longer than expected due to the drugs but had eventually succumbed. Jack told Dr Fraiser that he didn't particularly want to see another dead child, but a few minutes after he hung up, his sense of duty towards Daniel dragged him out of his office and slowly down the corridor to the elevators. Even if Daniel didn't want him there, he would have to say that to Jack's face before the Colonel would let go of him for good.

On the next level down, Jack stepped out of the elevator and somehow made his way to the infirmary, his legs carried him on automatically, his mind closing down to cope with what was to come. Jack knew from experience that it was better to steel himself now, leave the displays of grief for when he was alone. No one likes to see a grown man cry. He was still angry with himself for breaking down in the temple, he was thankful Carter didn't see fit to comment when he left that bit out of his report.

Dr Fraiser came out of her office and greeted him at the door. Jack could-a sworn that woman had an internal radar - how else did she know he would come?

'Colonel O'Neill, I was wondering if you would talk to Dr Jackson please.' Dr Fraiser looked towards the bed at the far end of the room. The monitoring machines which had surrounded the bed, clicking, beeping and flashing incessantly the last time Jack had come here, were now cleared away. The body seemed so small in the huge white bed. Jack swallowed hard as his gaze rested on the hunched form of Daniel sitting by the bed. He sat with his back to the Colonel, holding onto one small hand.

'I think he needs you right now,' Dr Fraiser finished and with one last firm look at Jack, he assumed to satisfy herself that he wasn't about to high-tail it out of there, she disappeared back into her office.

In what seemed both an eternity and the shortest breath, Jack crossed the room and stood by the bed. He frowned. Daniel was running his fingers lightly over the child's stomach, tracing those abstract patterns which for all Jack knew could be complex symbols more ancient than the sand-dunes of Abydos. He could read them though, yeah he could read them alright. They all said love. Then it struck him that the child's skin was clear.

Daniel looked up at the stunned man and tentatively smiled. 'No marks Jack. It worked.'

Jack almost fell over the bed in shock as the child woke and fixed his Daniel-blue eyes firmly on the Colonel.

'I thought...' Jack didn't finish that sentence. No need to say what he thought. Enough to see what Daniel thought - that life began again, here, today.

The boy stretched out his arms in the air and Daniel smiled, fluttering his fingers over him, dancing their hands together.

'Dr Fraiser said it will take a while before he is completely well. He's had a lot of drugs, he's been knocked about a bit. But he's strong, he beat the Goa'uld.'

Jack shifted awkwardly, toying with the clipboard at the end of the bed. He wanted to hug Daniel, wanted to tell him how happy he was, but he wasn't sure if he still had that right.

'Like you have, on more than one occasion.'

Daniel have a small laugh and brought his hands down to fiddle with the edge of the sheet. 'Maybe it's easier to beat an enemy you can see, than the hideous demons you create inside yourself.' He peered cautiously up at Jack then lowered his gaze again.. Jack thought he saw a little glimpse of hope igniting over his precious friend's head.

'That's probably true,' Jack answered lightly, 'in your case at any rate.'

Daniel ducked his head. 'Jack, I'm sorry you had to drag me back here.'

'No sweat.' Oh, Danny boy, if you knew how much I despise myself for that.

'But I would've stayed there forever if that had been the condition.'

'I know Daniel.' Jack shivered as he remembered mud, streaming water, Daniel slipping away through his fingers.

'I wouldn't have forgiven myself if we'd got back here and Ari'ef had died. I wouldn't have forgiven you either.'

Jack's hands clenched and he rubbed them together. He had no idea where this was going.

'Does that make me a hypocrite then, because I think you did the right thing by getting us back here? My son lives because of you Jack O'Neill, and I forgave you in an instant, the minute he turned the corner.'

'No, it doesn't make you a hypocrite Daniel. Just accept that everything worked out and stop analysing it.'

Jack took a chance and rubbed his hand reassuringly across Daniel's shoulders.

Daniel frowned at the floor and Jack hastily removed his hand. Daniel reached up and caught it between his own before Jack had a chance to retreat fully.

'But I can't stop thinking about it. What if I'd stayed behind and let her put that implant in my child only for you to return here and find there was a cure all along? What if I made the sacrifice and he lived and then when I returned forty years later, how would we make up for all that lost time? What if we returned and he died and I hated you.'

Daniel squeezed his eyes shut. 'I'm so sorry Jack.'

'Daniel,' Jack pulled on his hands gently, 'just let it go. You and your boy have been given a second chance. Make good use of it.'

Daniel looked up at him. 'So have you Jack. Are you going to set a good example for me to follow?'

Jack took that to mean all bets were off, a clean slate. He pulled Daniel up out of the chair and hugged him with all his might, burying his face in his lover's hair, fiercely ordering his body to keep it g-rated, for the security cameras as much as their one-man audience sitting up brightly in the bed.

At that moment Dr Fraiser came out of her office. Jack cursed her darn radar and pulled back, noting with delight that Daniel found it as hard to let go as he did.

'Sorry to interrupt,' she darted around the two men. 'I just need to change the drip.'

Jack stepped back to allow her access around the bed. 'Sure. I'll push off now anyway, I know how strict the doc can be on visiting hours.'

Daniel nervously pushed at his glasses. 'Will you come back, later?'

Jack answered him with the kind of smile which said 'you try and keep me away.'

They watched Janet do her tinkering, then Jack nodded a goodbye and ambled off with the doctor.

Jack stuck his hands nonchalantly in his pockets and sneaked a sideways glance at Dr Fraiser. 'Thanks Doc.'

'For what Colonel?'

'For getting me down here.'

Janet paused at the door to her office and looked back at Daniel who it seemed was launching into another story from the way he was waving his hands about and the child was watching him avidly. She shrugged.

'Do you suppose Daniel knows it's Father's Day this Sunday?'

Jack watched his lover for a moment, the extravagant animation in his face as he described some fantastic creation. 'Oh, I think every day will be Father's Day for Daniel from now on.'

Janet gave him a cautious look. 'How do you feel about that Colonel?'

Jack took a deep breath. 'Our resident space-monkey population has doubled and they're both alive and happy. That's enough for me.' Yes, he felt fine.

Janet smiled and walked into her office, leaving Jack to stand alone in the corridor.

Jack rubbed his hand over his forehead. It had been a long month. He'd learned more about his lover than he had ever imagined he was entitled to know, and loved him all the more. But he wondered how things could ever be the same between him and Daniel, now that there was a third person to add to the family. He rested his back up against the infirmary window. A weight rested heavily against his chest. He reached inside his jacket to the inner pocket and pulled out his wallet. Too much change, that was the culprit. Jack shook out the coins feeling surprised at the anger sweeping through him. Then it was gone. He was staring at his wallet. He felt reassured. There was only one way to find out whether things would change between him and Daniel.

When Teal'c arrived at the infirmary to offer his best wishes to Daniel and Ari'ef, he found Colonel O'Neill leaning against the window, seemingly lost in thought.

Teal'c paused. 'Are you not well, O'Neill?' he inquired.

Jack shook his head as if to snap himself out of his reverie, folded up the wallet with the photo of Charlie in it, tucked it into his breast pocket and ambled off down the corridor, giving a wave to his concerned friend as he headed for the elevators.

'I'm fine Teal'c. Just fine.' And he was.

Epilogue

Jack was trying to keep it casual, which was why he stayed sitting on the couch for a few seconds instead of leaping up straight away to answer the doorbell. That was also why he was just wearing the old jeans and shirt get-up - wasn't going to make it look as if he'd gone to a lot of effort. He didn't want to put any pressure on Daniel.

He'd dropped in to the infirmary the day before. The kid was looking a lot better, after two weeks he was running riot with the nurses, had everyone at his beck and call, most of all Daniel, who was still there pretty much all day every day. Jack had casually suggested Daniel might want to take an afternoon off, perhaps drop by Jack's place, have a few beers, watch the game maybe. He had fully expected Daniel to turn him down, Janet had been trying in vain to kick the neurotic geek out of the infirmary for days now, so it was a pleasant surprise when the younger man had said yes straight away, no hesitation.

So now here was Jack, feeling more nervous than he had when he'd first got together with this complicated, passionate man. He'd missed Daniel's passion. Deciding to give Daniel space to adjust had been one thing, but Jack hadn't realised quite how deeply his lover had become entwined in his life. The past two weeks, coming home alone, eating alone, sleeping alone, Jack had noticed how big a hole there was in his life without Daniel. He'd had a few nightmares where he actually woke up believing Daniel had stayed behind on that world and he really was alone, for ever.

The doorbell chimed again. Jack leapt up and strode quickly to the door, wiping his moist palms on the seat of his pants. Opening the door he couldn't stop himself breaking into a huge, silly grin. Daniel was standing there, looking incredibly fine in jeans and a red shirt, and holding a six pack of Jack's favourite beer.

Jack stared and continued smiling. Daniel frowned and looked about himself.

'What?'

Jack kept smiling.

'Is my fly undone or something?'

Jack chuckled and pulled his lover inside. 'Not yet,' he quipped.

'Yeah, okay, I walked into that one,' Daniel said with a grin as he put the beer in the fridge. As he leaned over slightly Jack noticed the way his hair fell forward to reveal the enticing nape of his neck. Jack groaned inwardly. It had been way too long. Softly, softly Jack, don't forget the game plan. How often had he told himself that over the trials of the past month? Too often. And softly, softly never worked anyway. Sod it. Why don't ya just go for the grab Jack? His inner voice taunted him. Not a bad idea, thought Jack, but Daniel had already slipped away from him into the lounge.

In the lounge room, Daniel sat on the edge of the couch, holding the cold beer in his hands, fingers tweaking at the label. His eyes flickered towards the phone on the small table in the corner. Jack was acting a bit weird, just staring at him with that huge smile on his face. He'd just left a beer on the counter and found it strange that Jack was taking his time in following him through to the lounge. He took a gulp of the beer. It was almost like they were doing it all over from the beginning again, like they'd forgotten somewhere along the way, the intimacy they shared, not that long ago. Daniel shut his eyes as the image of Jack going down on him flickered across his mind. He gripped the cold beer bottle tightly, trying to cool the blood rapidly coursing through his veins. Think of cold things Daniel, you don't want to go embarrassing yourself. Think of snow, think of rain, think of... Rain thundering down, the torrent blinding him, powerless in the grip of Jack's hands shoving him relentlessly forwards,

Jack stood in the doorway, watching Daniel from behind. He looked incredibly tense. Jack wondered if he might've asked him over too soon. He moseyed in and crossed in front of the younger man and sank down on the couch next to him.

Jack saluted Daniel with his beer. 'Cheers.' Daniel returned the greeting and took a swig. Jack clean forgot to take a mouthful from his own as he watched his lover tip back his head, exposing his long neck, and gulp down the liquid. Daniel put down the beer.

'Jack, are you alright?' He licked his lips habitually.

Jack mentally slapped himself. Get a grip O'Neill! He hastily took a sip himself.

'Yeah, sure, fine.' Daniel nodded and fiddled with his beer.

Jack decided to try to put him more at ease.

'Daniel, feel free to use the phone whenever you want. You don't have to ask or anything.'

Daniel's eyes were bright and innocent. 'Why would I want to use the phone Jack?'

'Just in case you want to call Dr Fraiser, I dunno, check on him.'

Daniel chuckled softly. 'He was surrounded by four doting nurses when I left, of which the biggest and softest was Teal'c. He'll be fine.'

Jack frowned. So if the tension wasn't due to leaving the kid, it must be that he was nervous to be in Jack's company. Alone with Jack. Maybe Daniel really didn't want to go back to the way things were before... before Jack had hurt him and bound his wrists and dragged him through mud and over stone against his will, despite his protest, his quiet, dignified resistance to brute force. He may forgive Jack, but did he trust him?

Jack felt a tentative warm hand on his thigh.

'Jack?'

'I'm sorry Daniel,' Jack blurted out. Best get it over and done with, he thought. He didn't mind being ruthless with himself.

'For what Jack?' Jack winced and turned his face away from those softly questioning eyes.

He ground out the words. 'For hurting you. For tying you up and... all that other stuff I did.'

Daniel nodded slightly and started teasing again at the corner of the label on his beer. He sighed and set the bottle down on the low table. His attention was caught by a shaft of light falling through the crack in the curtains. He watched the miniscule flecks of dust swirl in the golden shadow, as a child he used to spend hours just watching the play of dust and light, so mesmerising, distracting. Maybe that was why he loved archeology so much - the dust held such secrets, such answers. Then the sun went in and the dust became invisible once again, the clarity fading, abandoning Daniel to scramble, crawl, beat his own path back to his lover.

'How did you know?'

'Let's just say that no one gets over an O'Neill combination number four that quickly.'

Daniel grimaced. 'I had a pretty impressive bruise.'

Jack felt sick. He hadn't needed to hit Daniel. The man was smaller than him, in the heat of the moment Jack probably could've just grabbed his arms and restrained him that way, it wasn't like Daniel knew how to block that kind of maneuvre. So why had he done it? Why had he hit him so hard that his pacific lover had crumpled with the pain and fallen on his knees on the unforgiving stone? Jack remembered the surprise in Daniel's eyes before he had dropped his head to clutch at the epicentre of the pain, trying to rip out his stomach as if that would make it hurt less. Too quick for shock, just surprise, uncomprehending surprise, the tiny quizzical wrinkling between his eyebrows, his mouth falling slightly open. That fleeting expression stayed with Jack, haunted his dreams, gnawed at his conscience. How could he tell Daniel, Jack had hit him to distract him? He had hit his lover, his best friend, so that he wouldn't have to look him in the face as he wrenched his arms behind him and bound them together with

Daniel took another swig of beer, confident now that he had found his way. 'Still, if it had come down to a battle of wills, we know who would've come out on top don't we? If you hadn't resorted to such primal brute force I could be forming an addendum to Mater's expansive study on humanity right now.'

Jack was almost rendered speechless by Daniel's capacity for forgiveness. At this moment he felt he could go either way - fall down in a gibbering wreck at his lover's feet, prostrating himself in front of his eternally merciful, beautiful god, or, he could keep what shreds of dignity he had left. He chose the latter.

'Dr Daniel Jackson, are you saying that in some instances actual physical violence is justified?'

Daniel chuckled and raised his eyebrows. 'I'm saying I think you owe me. Big time. Tonight I'm calling in the debt.'

Jack leaned back in his seat and gave Daniel a guarded look. He sized him up. His lover was smaller than him, but still capable of packing a pretty forceful punch. This could get nasty. Jack breathed in and flexed his stomach muscles. Yes, his six pack could probably absorb the blow, and he did deserve it. He heaved himself off the couch and, standing in front of his lover, undid the top two buttons of his shirt. He hitched the shirt up and over his shoulders and head like he would take off a t-shirt. Tensing his muscles again he held up his hands in a 'come on' motion.

Daniel was staring goggle-eyed and open-mouthed at Jack's rippling torso, the rounded ridge of the pectoral muscles rising to peak at the small pink nubs, the dusting of fuzzy fair hair filling the slight valley in between, running away down to the toned flat stomach. With his jeans slung low on his hips Daniel could even see where the ridge of pelvic muscle on either side of his waist directed his eyes down, down, down to... the top button of his trousers... oh, Daniel squeezed his eyes shut. He was never going to be able to carry this off. But then again, it would be worth it just to see Jack's face.

'So come on...' Jack gestured again. 'I can take it.'

'Jack?' Daniel looked up at him in confusion.

'Hit me, come on, I owe you one, remember?'

It dawned on Daniel what Jack thought he meant to do to him. He grinned wickedly to himself. This was so much better than he'd planned.

'You think I should hit you?'

'Yeah come on, I'm ready.' Jack wasn't sure how long he could keep flexing.

'You really think letting me hit you is going to make up for what you did.' Daniel looked uncertain. He frowned up at Jack as if weighing up the older man's gross misdeed against this punishment.

'Geez Daniel, you take longer than a court martial, just do it!'

Daniel tugged at his glasses as he thought about it. His tongue darted out to lick his lower lip.

'But you see.... I'm not sure Jack, that I can do this, considering...'

'Considering what?!' Jack was about ready to explode.

'Considering you not only hit me, you also tied me up and dragged me through mud and rain for about twenty klicks, I don't think hitting you would really balance the scales of justice do you Jack?'

Jack deflated. He stood there, topless in front of the couch and Daniel sitting there, grinning up at him. Slowly it dawned on him... Oh fer cryin' out loud.

Daniel stood up and stretched, long and languidly.

'Geez I'm tired Jack. Think I might go to bed.'

'Daniel, it's three o'clock in the afternoon.'

'Why don't you have a shower Jack, then meet me in the bedroom.' Daniel patted him on the arm and sauntered off down the hall.

'Daniel, why do I have to have a shower, this isn't going to involve live sacrifice is it? Daniel?' No answer. Still, maybe he could let the space-monkey have the upper hand, just this once.

Jack picked up his shirt and hastened to the bathroom.

~~~

As soon as Daniel reached the sanctuary of Jack's bedroom he flopped down on his back on the bed, legs dangling over the edge, and quickly undid his trousers. His erection had reached uncomfortable proportions. But no way was he going to let Jack in on the secret just yet. He'd ordered him to shower to give himself some time to cool down, otherwise this was going to be over way to soon.

Daniel had come to an understanding with himself. No more soul searching. He was going to let his body tell him what felt right, when Jack was completely and utterly forgiven. Daniel had long ago forgiven him in his mind and his heart, now it was time to see if he could do it physically - chase the remaining demons away.

As Daniel lay there listening to the sound of the shower running softly, absently stroking his erection, he was reminded of rain. Light spring rain maybe. That could be good.

He craned his head back to get a glimpse of the window. Curtains closed. Good, that solved item one on his list. So he could lie here a little longer perhaps...

He heard the taps being turned off. That had to be the quickest shower in history. Daniel grinned and did up his fly. Then he started on the other items on his mental list.

~~~

Jack had what he considered to be the quickest shower in history. He soaped and scrubbed the important bits (being careful not to scrub too hard), shut off the water, jumped out and hastily wiped himself over with a towel. Sometimes he could see the advantages to military training. All over in three minutes flat. Next up, inspection and parade huh?

Wrapping the towel around his waist, he strode to meet his master, fully prepared to do whatever Daniel asked of him.

The bedroom door was closed. Jack wondered if he should knock. Hang on! It was his bedroom wasn't it? He pushed open the door and entered the room.

Daniel was lying on the bed, arms folded behind his head, legs crossed at the ankles. He was still fully clothed and looked very pleased with himself.

Jack gestured with his hands out, 'so what now?'

'Lose the towel Jack.' A casual order from the man on the bed and a slow sideways glance. Jack shrugged and ditched the towel from his hips.

Daniel patted the bed next to him. 'Lie down.'

Well, Jack could follow those types of orders, no sweat. But Daniel was looking so... sure of himself, Jack found it slightly unnerving. Cautiously, he sat down on the bed, causing it to sag a little on his side. Shuffling his legs over, he lay down next to Daniel.

'Now what?'

Daniel smiled but didn't look at him. As soon as Jack was lying still Daniel rolled over onto his hands and knees and knelt beside the naked man. He studied him for a moment, then rocked back on his heels, seemingly thoughtful.

'Okay Jack, so what happened first? As I recall, you hit me such that I was doubled over in pain.'

Jack winced at the memory.

Daniel continued, 'But I'm thinking there's a better way to incapacitate you.'

Uh-oh, thought Jack, so this is where Daniel's sadistic streak begins to assert itself. He felt his cock twitch at the delicious thought.

Daniel reached into his top shirt pocket and pulled out a black silk scarf with a flourish. Jack licked his dry lips.

'I didn't expect to find this in your top drawer Jack.' Daniel teased as he trailed the silk over the prone man's muscular chest and rigid stomach. 'But I guess a soldier's got to be prepared for all eventualities huh?'

Jack swallowed hard as the black silk made its meandering way across his taut shoulders and up the side of his neck. The cool cloth teased across his cheeks.

Suddenly Daniel leaned over, gathered up the ends, lifted Jack's head and tied the blindfold securely over his eyes in one fell swoop. Before Jack even knew what was happening. He felt the springs creak and buckle as Daniel leaned back on his heels again, heard the soft rustle which he presumed was Daniel crossing his arms as was his habit.

Somehow, Jack found his voice again. 'Okay, now you've got me back, what are you going to do to me?'

Daniel didn't answer straight away.

Jack felt a tantalising touch of soft fabric trail over his stomach as his lover leaned across him to reach something on the bedside table, and then brush back again, as Daniel resumed his position.

'What are you doing Daniel?' asked Jack suspiciously. A clinking metallic sound and then a soft sliding noise.

'Well Jack, as I recall, the next thing you did was tie my hands together.'

Jack heaved a sarcastic sigh and brought his hands together over his chest. 'So arrest me officer,' he muttered. A soft low chuckle from his lover.

'Not quite Jack,' and he securely held Jack's wrists together in one hand, pulling his arms up towards the bed-head. Jack felt his wrists being securely looped together with some sort of soft leather and then attached to the bar on the bed-head. Frustratingly, since now he couldn't get to it, Jack felt his erection swell with arousal. Who knew Colonel Jack O'Neill could be so turned on by being so completely disempowered? Well, Daniel Jackson obviously had an inkling.

'Now let's see, you tied me up, then what did you do? Oh yes, you dragged me kicking and screaming through mud and torrential rain. Ring any bells Jack?'

Jack definitely noticed a sadistic note in Daniel's tone. The horny little space-monkey was so enjoying this! Jack wished he wasn't giving him the pleasure of seeing how turned on he was by the whole act. His erection was now achingly hard.

Daniel's light voice spoke teasingly again. 'We don't have any mud here Jack, but I've managed to procure a suitable substitute.'

Jack shivered as he felt something cool and slick ooze down the middle of his chest and continue downwards, trickling into his pubic hair and slipping stickily down between his thighs..

'What the hell is that Daniel!' Jack couldn't take much more of this teasing.

'I told you, a suitable substitute,' Daniel replied evenly as he screwed the lid back on the bottle of chocolate sauce and replaced the bottle on the bedside table.

'Now what next,' the young man muttered to himself. 'Oh yes, when we reached the gate you kinda pushed me around in the mud a bit didn't you Jack. Trying to drag me up those steps.'

Jack shivered as he guessed where this was going.

The older man tensed involuntarily as he felt his lover's moist, warm breath dance over his neck and glide down to his chest. A quick hot tongue licked momentarily at his lean torso. Jack felt the heat immediately rush down to his groin and groaned. So that was what Daniel had in mind. Slow death by torture. Well, Jack guessed it was no less than he deserved. In fact, he resolved to do things to deserve this kind of treatment more often.

Daniel's agile, sticky tongue lapped cat-like over his chest, spreading the chocolate over the firm erect nubs on either side, pausing every now and again for a gentle nibble with those soft lips and gentle teeth. Jack moaned with pleasure.

His lover's tongue was too thorough in Jack's opinion and took way too long to start moving down towards his stomach, and he wriggled a bit to give Daniel a bit of a shove along, but the sly responding chuckle made Jack realise any efforts on his part to try to direct the action were useless. Daniel was running this show and he wasn't going to be hurried.

After an inordinate length of time, Daniel had reached Jack's belly button and commenced pushing the sticky sauce with his tongue into the dipping well.

'Hey, I'm never going to get that out!' Jack protested in vain, but his lover did not hear him.

Jack's chest heaved as he felt Daniel get closer to his groin, and the air was pleasantly cooling against his sticky skin.

Daniel hesitated for a moment to prolong the delicious torture just a little bit until he could see the tension in Jack's stomach muscles which suggested he was getting very close to the edge, then plunged his face down into his lover's groin, lapping again at the sauce which gathered along the ridges of his hips and swirled through his pubic hair. Gently pushing Jack's legs apart, he swiped his talented tongue down the hot inner thigh to catch the runoff. The naked man involuntarily bucked his hips up off the bed, almost giving Daniel a face full of sauce. Almost. He pressed his strong hands down on Jack's hips to remind his impatient lover exactly who was in charge this time.

Ducking his head he resumed his licking around Jack's thighs, darting in occasionally to swipe at the soft skin between the root of the older man's shaft and his ass. Jack groaned louder and the tip of his erection began weeping copious amounts of precum. Throughout this assault of oral sensuousness however, Daniel avoided plunging his mouth around that which would give them both most pleasure. He grinned to himself as he watched out of the corner of his eye, Jack's erection standing straight and tall, awaiting his inspection and attention, twitching every now and again to beckon him over. But he resisted.

Jack gasped as he felt himself near the edge and desperately tried to signal his lover. Daniel pulled his head back and licked his lips thoughtfully. Maybe Jack had had enough teasing, and the young man's own cock was painfully hard. He reached up and gently removed the blindfold from Jack's eyes.

Jack squinted in the sudden light. Slowly the room came into focus. There was the bed, he looked down at himself and saw the remnants of the sauce covering his chest and stomach in stripes like some tribal warrior decoration. Then he came to focus on his lover who was standing at the end of the bed, slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

Daniel stood in full view of the naked man on the bed. He slowly and methodically stripped, starting with his shirt, then his t-shirt. His shoes and socks had been dealt with long ago while Jack was in the shower, so next came his jeans, belt-less since that was what he had employed to bind Jack's wrists. He slipped the easy worn fabric over his slim hips, taking his underwear with them, and shucked the trousers off his feet and under the bed. He stood for a moment, hands loosely on his hips, letting Jack's hungry, adoring gaze fondle him. Then he climbed onto the bed and knelt with one leg on either side of Jack's thighs.

Breathing shallowly with anticipation, he ran his warm hands once over Jack's firm body, starting with the jaw and finishing with his lover's tense, muscular thighs, again avoiding the part he desired most.

'Do you remember what was the last thing you did to me Jack?' Daniel's hands fluttered as lightly as his voice, both caressing Jack's senses.

'There's more?' Jack gasped. He was in no state to be remembering anything, his mind being fully consumed by the here and now.

'You made me go through the gate on my own. You made me walk through alone. You said it would make you happy. Do you think you could do this on your own Jack? To make me happy?'

Jack looked confused. Daniel smiled and tenderly tried to smooth out the little wrinkles forming between Jack's eyebrows. 'I'm not asking much Jack. Do you think you could do it?'

'I'm not quite sure what you're asking Daniel?' But Jack thought he had a pretty good idea actually. He just wanted to hear it.

Daniel leaned over so his face was hovering closely over his lover's. Jack felt the sweet warm breath on his cheeks and inhaled the heady scent of his own body's salt combined with the chocolate sauce on Daniel's breath. The younger man's hands toyed with the leather belt binding his wrists.

'If I let you go, will you go through alone, if you see what I mean? I'll be watching you,' Daniel whispered in a low tone, his blue eyes hungrily darting all over Jack's handsome face, seeking out the soft lines at the corners of his eyes, the moist lips, the tender-edged jaw.

Jack swallowed. 'You mean you want me to...' he rolled his eyes down towards his groin. Daniel nodded and broke into that beautiful hesitant smile that always made Jack go weak at the knees. Oh fer cryin' out loud. He was going to do this of course, because Daniel asked him to do it.

'Sure, I'll do it.' Jack shrugged as best he could with his hands above his head.

Daniel grinned and happily untied his wrists. Then he rocked back on his heels and waited expectantly for the show to begin.

Jack rubbed his wrists for a moment and flexed his fingers. Then he reached down and grasped his own erection firmly with one hand, wrapping his fingers around the pulsing shaft. He slowly rubbed his hand up and down.

Daniel shifted down the bed a bit, to get a better view but with his knees still astride his lover. His own cock bobbed fully erect and tantalisingly close to Jack's groin. Jack watched Daniel watching his hand as the older man tugged gently, rhythmically at his own erection. Daniel's sharp blue eyes were zeroed in on Jack's weeping cock, mesmerised by the fondling and stroking. Jack devillishly decided to startle his lover by sweeping a quick finger over the tip and displacing some of the glistening precum. But Daniel hardly blinked, he was so entranced.

In fact, it was Jack who was startled, when Daniel slid his own hand into his groin and started stroking himself in time with Jack. Jack suppressed a groan. Daniel's erection was so close, yet he couldn't reach for it. His lover's orders. He soon understood what Daniel found so mesmerising as he almost forgot what his own hand was doing, he was so firmly fixated on his lover's sensual toying with his throbbing erection. Daniel closed his eyes and moaned as a bead of moisture formed on the dark red tip of his penis. Jack was so ready to come. He felt a wave of pleasure and happiness smother him as he found himself able to fulfil Daniel's request.

Just in time to stop him coming, Daniel opened his eyes and, quickly assessing how close Jack was, jammed his hand tightly around his lover's red-hot cock.

'Gods, no, this isn't going to work,' Daniel gasped as he struggled frantically to reach the bedside table with one hand while keeping a firm grip on Jack with the other. 'I need to share this with you. We need to do it together.'

Jack was all for that plan, so long as it was enacted pretty damn quickly.

Daniel's fingers found the lubricant and in the blink of an eye (though not Jack's, who wasn't about to take his eyes off his lover not even for a millisecond) had covered Jack's erection with the slick gel.

Tossing the tube aside, he raised himself up on his knees and without ceremony eased himself down on Jack's ready erection before the older man could even register a shiver of anticipation at breaching that slick, tight opening. He was just in before he knew it, engulfed in the lively, internal heat of Daniel Jackson. Jack always loved this moment, the moment when he was physically reminded that his lover was as warm and giving on the inside as he was affectionate and compassionate on the outside. Daniel gasped as the quick pain of the hasty breaching subsided and he eased his muscles around Jack's tender erection. He'd missed this. Shifting to lean down over his lover and hug Jack's solid, warm, albeit slightly sticky, chest to his cheek, Daniel sighed heavily with contentment and tightened instinctively as Jack bucked his hips and surged deeper inside him.

It was all over too soon. Jack felt the heat overwhelm his self-control and he came into his lover, his offering pulsing up his shaft and into the tender body of Daniel. He registered the strong, hot twitches between their stomachs which told him the stickiness holding the together was no longer due purely to the remnants of sauce.

Slowly, Daniel rolled off Jack and the two men lay side by side on the bed, chests heaving with the exertion, bodies happily spent.

When Jack had got his breath back, he leant up on his elbow and looked at Daniel. The younger man returned his gazed through lazy half-closed lashes.

'So, Daniel, are we even now?'

Daniel chuckled. 'Not by a long shot Jack. I've only just started.'

Jack sank back into the pillows. That was a comforting thought. He closed his eyes to dream about the future.

~~~

Jack woke in the early evening twilight to the sound of the shower coming through the open bedroom door. He stretched and ran his hands over his chest. Oh yeah, he grinned to himself, sticky, he could probably do with a shower too.

Rolling off the bed, he padded up the hall and into the bathroom.

The small room was steamy. He quietly slid open the door of the shower cubicle and joined Daniel under the warm spray. The glistening man just smiled at him and handed him the soap. Jack took longer this time, to attend to soaping and washing himself, much longer. Daniel leaned against the wall of the cubicle and watched him through the water.

When Jack replaced the soap in the dish, Daniel reached out and pulled him close, embracing him under the falling water, seeking out Jack's mouth and kissing him forcefully, pushing his eager tongue into the sweet, sensuous cavern, the warm water trickling down between their faces. Breaking apart for breath, Jack tenderly pushed the slick hair back off his lover's face. Daniel shut off the taps and the two men stood there, just holding one another. Daniel lifted a finger and followed a drop of water as it ran down Jack's cheek.

Then they stepped out of the shower.

As Daniel pulled some towels out of the cupboard, Jack picked up the clothes which he'd dumped on the floor after his earlier, much speedier shower. A white envelope fell out of his trouser pocket and fell in a puddle on the floor. Not quick enough, Jack snatched it up. The ink had run on the label but he knew it was the letter for Daniel from his alternate self. The man who was most likely dead by now. Shuddering at that thought, Jack straightened and turned to catch Daniel staring at the wet paper in his hand.

'Guess you don't need to know what it said now anyway,' Jack shrugged, but his hand held onto it, unsure as to whether he should toss it in the bin.

Silently, Daniel reached out and took it from his lover. Easing a finger under the flap he opened the envelope. He removed a sheet of paper and held it up for Jack to see without looking at it himself. Jack looked in confusion from the paper, to Daniel, then back at the paper. Daniel smiled.

'I knew it would be blank. This was for you Jack, more than it was for me. I know myself too well.'

Jack shook his head in amazement. He still had so much to learn about Daniel. But he also hoped he'd keep surprising him for a good many years yet. There was just one more thing he was itching to know.

'So do you also know what's in Ari'ef's letter?'

Daniel smiled and handed the dripping Jack a towel. 'Nope, guess we'll just have to wait till our son comes of age to find that one out.'

He strode out of the bathroom leaving Jack to contemplate his parting gift. Our son.

THE END