Housewarming

by Cowardly Lion

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asc/clion/housewar.php
Summary: Some wistful feelings come to the surface when Daniel and Jack attend someone else's housewarming.
Info: Thanks to Mare for the beta. Written for the inaugural ficathon at http://jackdanielpromptfic.dreamwidth.org/

As he headed toward the kitchen, Jack cast a practiced eye over the crowd milling about the hallway and living room. Lots of animated chatter. Laughter. Disposable plates full of food and plastic glasses full of drink. Same as the crowd in the back yard. The housewarming was going well and it was satisfying to see everyone having fun. He threaded his way through the press of bodies, careful not to bump anyone with the empty platter he was carrying.

He found Daniel in the relative quiet of the kitchen. Mindful of the public circumstances, Jack refrained from giving Daniel a kiss but couldn't restrain his need to touch him. He settled for brushing slowly past Daniel, then leaning his shoulder against him.

"Whatcha doing?" Jack set the platter down on the counter by the refrigerator.

"Restocking the cheese tray." Daniel pulled three blocks of cheese from the fridge, leaving the door open for Jack. "You?"

"Time for another batch of burgers." Jack grabbed the big plastic tub filled with the patties that had been prepared in advance of the party and set it on the counter next to the platter. "Pete's got a couple of different kinds of bratwurst on the grill right now."

Daniel put the cheese on a cutting board on the counter in the center of the kitchen, then looked around. Jack finished washing his hands and pointed to the set of knives neatly arranged in a butcher's block holder on the far side of the kitchen. Daniel selected a knife and started cutting the cheeses into cubes. Jack dried his hands on the brand new dish towel then began transferring the raw burgers to the platter.

"Admit it," said Daniel with a smile. "It's killing you not to be the one in charge of the grill."

Jack grimaced but didn't say it out loud. Yeah, having to watch someone else run the grill and, even worse, not do it the way he would have, was irksome. But what was really bothering Jack was Daniel. Sure he was smiling, mingling his way through conversation after conversation, but there was an underlying sadness there for which Jack couldn't quite pin down the cause.

Jack couldn't think of anything going on at work or at home that might be affecting him, nor did he think it was this occasion that was the cause either. Daniel had worked just as hard as Jack had to make this day happen. It was Daniel who had taken Carter aside for a heart to heart while Jack was doing the same with Pete.

Jack's talk had been equal parts "you're an idiot if you let Carter get away" and "what the hell were you thinking?" Daniel had refused to divulge the details of his talk with Carter, but he did disclose that the main point was that Pete had meant well which was true. Pete had had a grand idea for a romantic gesture, but had been too overcome with excitement to execute it properly or, in fact, to consider fully the impact and implications of said gesture.

Jack still couldn't believe what a bone headed move Pete had made, putting a down payment on a house without once consulting Carter's opinion. Losing his deposit had been an expensive lesson for Pete on the importance of equality in a relationship. Luckily it had been a lesson that Pete had taken to heart. It had taken a few weeks of negotiation and frank discussion between Pete and Carter but in the end they had purchased this house together. Carter hadn't come right out and said so, but Jack got the impression that Pete was on probation and if he handled his cards right, he might one day get that wedding he wanted and become Mister Colonel Doctor Carter.

As he washed the grease of the raw meat from his hands, Jack decided to follow his own advice to Pete. When you're not sure of something, don't guess--ask. Daniel had made quick work of the cheese and was nearly done arranging the cubes on the tray. After drying his hands, Jack tossed the towel on the counter. With a quick glance at the door to make sure no one was nearby, he stepped next to Daniel, resting one hip against the island counter.

"Hey. Talk to me." It wasn't quite a whisper, but his voice was too low to be heard more than a couple of feet away.

Daniel didn't look at him but continued rearranging the yellow and white cubes. "About what?"

"About what's bugging you."

Daniel shrugged one shoulder. "Nothing's bugging me."

Jack sighed. "C'mon. You know that I know that there's something bugging you, and you know that I'll keep pestering until you tell me so you might as well save us both some time and aggravation and tell me now."

There was a long pause, but Jack was willing to wait it out. Finally, Daniel stopped fussing with the tray, though he never took his eyes off of it.

"Friends and family celebrating the happy couple in their new home." Daniel put his hands on the edge of the counter, shoulders slumped. "This should be us. And it never will be." He sounded defeated.

Shit. This was Jack's fault, however inadvertently.

"I'm sorry, Daniel." The familiar sense of guilt for their predicament knotted his stomach.

"No, don't be sorry." Daniel shook his head. Despite the quiet voice, his tone was fiercely emphatic and his eyes flashed as he looked at Jack. "How many times do I have to say that I don't blame you for this at all. I lay this squarely at the feet of the military and its antiquated homophobic policies that make this secrecy necessary in the first place. I know that it wouldn't be enough for you to retire. To live openly with me you'd have to resign your commission which would mean losing your pension, losing your health benefits, losing every single benefit associated with a career spanning decades. You worked hard and risked your life time and again. You earned those rewards and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you throw them away because of me."

Jack put his hand on the back of Daniel's neck and felt the tension there. Put his forehead against Daniel's. "You know I'd do it in a heartbeat, Daniel. I'd give it all up for you, baby," he murmured.

He would, too. He'd never told Daniel, but he had checked out the procedure needed to resign his commission, going so far as to get the required paperwork. The blank documents were hidden in his office at the SGC.

Daniel brought his hand up to rest on Jack's bent arm, by the crook of the elbow, squeezing lightly. The tension in the muscles under Jack's palm eased as Daniel calmed.

"You know I'd kick your ass if you did." Daniel smiled. It was a faint smile, nearly imperceptible, but it was there.

"As long as you were still there after the ass-kicking, it would be worth it."

"Now, now. Remember what you told Pete."

"Um, make Carter unhappy again and I'll rip off your arm and beat you to death with it?"

Daniel chuckled. "Your chat with Pete really was substantially different than my chat with Sam, wasn't it? No, I meant the part about a relationship being about team work and consulting with your partner on the big decisions."

"Ah. Gotcha. Point taken."

Jack pulled away from Daniel. He really really wished he could comfort Daniel with a soothing full-body hug and some tender kissing, but this was neither the time nor the place. Later, after the party when they were back home, there would be time for some slow, thorough lovemaking. Jack was a big believer in letting his actions speak for him and he had plenty he wanted to say. For now, they had a housewarming to get through.

Jack picked up his platter of burgers and put on his party face. Next to him, Daniel took a deep breath and did the same. They traded one last look. This time, Daniel's smile was full and bright, and his eyes had a warmth just for Jack. Someday, Jack vowed, he would make sure Daniel had a housewarming, even if it was just them a handful of their closest friends. As always, whatever Daniel wanted, Jack would do his damnedest to make it happen.

Someday.

Finis

Author's Note: I really appreciate feedback. Also, check out my J/D friendship fic under Catsmeow at The Alphagate http://www.thealphagate.com/viewuser.php?uid=381