A Dozen Or So

by devra & MajelB & JoaG & Kalee

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asd/devra/dozen.php
Summary: Those guys say the darndest things

"Jack, do you want something?" Daniel said, his eyes drifting from the stack of papers he was sifting through toward his lover across the table. Jack was staring at him over his reading glasses, smirking, his own attention diverted from the binder and open manuals piled up around him. Who said Jack never did any work.

Jack didn't respond, just squinted and smiled a funny little smile.

"You're staring. do I have food stuck somewhere?" Daniel continued, absently sucking at the crevices between his teeth. He stopped after a second. Jack still hadn't moved, nor was there any indication that he intended to answer without some serious prodding.

"What?!" Daniel demanded. Jack's smirk became an all-out grin.

"I'm just *looking* at you, Daniel. Don't get all bent outta shape." Jack finally responded, resolutely closing the binder and dropping his highlighter, giving the unmistakable air of a man who was under no circumstances going to continue working.

"Well stop! It's squicking me out." Daniel half-demanded, half-whined before looking back down at his paperwork, trying to ignore Jack's adolescent behavior as best he could. Jack, however, was not about to be ignored.

"Squicking? What kind of word is that for a linguist to use?!" Jack teased, resting his elbow on the table and propping his chin on his knuckles.

Daniel pushed his glasses back up his nose. "I use all types of words, Jack."

"Yeah, but 'squicking'? Geez, you sound like Cassandra."

"As a linguist," Daniel starting, puffing out his chest and looking as pompous as he possibly could, "I am in a position to assimilate new vocabulary entering the vernacular, Jack."

Jack blinked. Once, twice. "Daniel, do you think you're impressing me? 'Squicking'. for crying out loud."

"Yeah, right, Jack. And 'doohickey' is sooo eloquent."

"Don't try to circumvent this discussion," Jack retorted, eyebrows raised. "We were talking about *you* using the vernacular of a 17 year old."

Daniel glared back at Jack, an evil glint in his eye. "Jack. how do you spell 'vernacular'?"

Jack blinked. Once, twice. "Daniel, just. drink your coffee and let me read, okay?"

"Ooh. good comeback, Jack. Been practicing?" Daniel said with a sly grin.

"A little pissy this morning, aren't you, *Daniel*?" Jack replied, his eyes narrowed.

"Fuck you, *Jack*," Daniel retorted, the words flying out of his mouth before he'd even had the chance to think about it. Daniel winced upon mentally reviewing the instant replay. He looked over at Jack hesitantly.

Jack's lips had curled ever so slightly and one eye had narrowed down to a slit, creating a lopsided, thoughtful squint. He seemed to deeply ponder some earth shattering epiphany for a moment, then lifted an eyebrow and slowly, gracefully, leaned in closer over the table. He stared deeply into Daniel's eyes and growled sensuously, "Why thank you. I think I'd like that very much."

Daniel swallowed hard and slowly, shakily reached for his coffee mug, glancing warily at Jack every second or so. He hadn't moved. just continued to stare openly at him, not even trying to mask the lust dripping from each and every pore. Daniel tried gallantly to ignore him, tried to remember that he was trying to work and that if Jack got his way, they'd probably end up wasting-well, maybe not *wasting*-the whole day in bed, but the unblinking, penetrating eyes of his lover following his every move was unnerving to the extreme.

Daniel realized that he pretty much only had two choices. He could A) allow his colonel to continue making mushy googly eyes at him until he cracked and finally acquiesced to his own, hastily blurted 'fuck you' suggestion, or he could B) play the colonel at his own game and try to be the crack*er* instead of the crack*ee*.

Since it was quite obvious that his chances of getting any more work done today were about as good as those of Apophis being awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor and all, Daniel thought glumly, he may as well have a little fun.

Plan B it was, then. Daniel grinned internally.

"Jack, you're eyeing me like Homer eyes a donut." Daniel teased, pleased by the initial look of mild surprise that crossed Jack's features. Jack hadn't been expected to be baited, but had instead prepared himself for Daniel to play 'hard to get.'

Jack quickly recovered, a completely random, odd and errant thought crossing his mind. He let their little staring contest stand-off continue for all of three seconds, then smiled a little to himself as all sorts of interesting mental pictures paraded past his mind's eye.

All Daniel saw was a glazed and vacant look on Jack's face. "Ah. Jack?"

Jack focused again and smiled across the table. "Hey, Daniel. How many donuts do you think I could. you know."

Daniel only grew more confused. What happened to the 'fuck you' game? "Ah. no, Jack. I *don't* know." Daniel grabbed his coffee mug and stole a sip while waiting for Jack to answer. Jack's grin was growing bigger by the second.

"Well." he explained, obviously attempting to work out the logistics in his head as he spoke, "I wonder. How many donuts could I bring you. while carrying your coffee in one hand, and my juice in the other?"

Daniel choked loudly on his coffee, half of what he had in his mouth spraying all over his paper work and the other half draining down the wrong pipe. The very, *very* vivid and detailed mental images that his brain had instantly conjured brought his thought processes to a screeching halt. His eyes involuntarily strayed toward his lover's groin, which was. suddenly very, very close. He looked up to see Jack hovering over him, his strong hands on his shoulders and his face wearing a worried expression.

"Daniel. Breathe, Daniel."

Oh, right. Daniel breathed, coughed, and then breathed again. With the reintroduction of oxygen to his system, his mind started to clear just a little bit. He smirked.

"Jack. I. think I'd be willing to conduct such a prestigious experiment."

Jack looked down at him, the worry replaced with inquiry as he released Daniel's shoulders and straightened, stepping back so as to take in the full-length view of his archaeologist. He quirked an eyebrow.

"But only," Daniel continued innocently, "If you let me take those donuts off of you. without using my hands."

Daniel crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back and relishing his victory as Jack ran at breakneck speed into the kitchen to search for a box of Entenmanns chocolate glazed donuts.

The End