Victims

by drdjlover

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asd/drdjlover/victims.php
Summary: Will Daniel and Jack survive the tragedies that seem to befall them?

There was a knock at the door. It went unanswered. The knock came again. Again it was unanswered. Then the door handle was turned and the door opened.

"I don't know how many times I've told him to lock his door, anyone could come wandering in," said Jack as the people with him entered Daniel's cottage. Sam, Teal'c, Janet and Jack had been invited to Daniel's 2 weeks ago for dinner.

Daniel, being the wonderful chef that he is, was always creating the most wonderful meals for them when they got together, which wasn't very often. But this was his new house; cottage on a large estate outside of the springs. Far enough away from the noise of the city and close enough to be able to drive to the mountain on a daily basis; only 30 minutes, give or take. A cottage he had spent the last few months remodeling, spending a considerable amount of money. But it was his first house and a house that he and Jack could spend plenty of time 'being themselves' without anyone around, or anyone watching their every move.

"Daniel, we're here!" yelled Jack upon entering. With no response, he yelled again, "Daniel?!" Looking around, and loosing the smile that was on his face, "Something's wrong," said Jack, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on edge.

"Why would you say that sir, maybe he's just running a little late," inquired Sam.

"No. Look around, there's nothing even ready. Daniel has been planning this for weeks. You know the kind of host he is; there should be things cooking and food set out for appetizers," walking around to assess. "I'm going to check on him," and Jack headed off to Daniel's master bedroom. Moments pass then a cry "JANET!!"

Janet ran to where Jack's voice came from, never being at Daniel's she had to pause momentarily once entering his bedroom.

"Janet!!"

Entering the bath, she turned and yelled for Sam to get her bag from her car and to call an ambulance from the base. Then she ran back into the bathroom and began assessing Daniel.

Daniel was contorted and face down partially in his shower, which Jack had turned off. His arms had been tied behind his back with plastic cuffs. The blood in the shower foretold the shape that Daniel was in. There was blood everywhere they looked. The blood on Daniel was pouring freely from his mouth, nose and anus. His wrists were bleeding badly from where the cuffs were, and blood from the numerous cuts and gashes was still oozing down his unconscious body and into the drain. Obviously badly beaten, Daniel was not in good shape.

"Teal'c!" yelled Jack, "find Daniel's video cam and begin filming this" he instructed the Jaffa upon his arrival.

"What?" cried Janet.

Turning to her he said, "It's a crime scene, and we need all the evidence taped immediately."

Sam entered with Janet's black bag and gasped at the scene.

"Did you call the ambulance?"

"Yes. What can I do to help?"

"Get me some towels to dry him off. Colonel, get something to wrap him up in."

Jack went to Daniel's bedroom and retrieved the comforter from the bed. Then he reached into his front pocket and pulled out his Swiss army knife. "Do you have shots of Daniel's hands Teal'c?" After receiving an affirmative from Teal'c, Jack split the cuffs from around Daniel's raw and bloody wrists and let his arms slide to the floor. The cuffs had to be removed from his wrists as they had bitten so deeply, they had become imbedded.

"Sir, I don't like the sounds of his breathing. We need to get him turned over."

Carefully, Jack and Janet turned Daniel over, being sure to keep his neck from moving ... just in case there was some sort of spinal injury. Daniel's face was even more horrific, and they both gasped.

"Where the fuck is that ambulance!" screamed Jack, unable to curtail his anger.

Finally, the ambulance was heard pulling up outside the house. Two men entered the house when Sam opened the door wheeling a gurney. "This way," she simply stated and they followed her to Daniel's bedroom.

"Get me a backboard and a collar," and the men followed the doctors orders immediately, giving her what was asked for. "You," the doctor instructed one of the medics, "help me to get him secured to the board, "and you," pointing to the second medic, "get to the ambulance and set up for a trache and a chest tube".

"What?" ask Jack.

"He's not getting enough air and his jaw might be broken, I can't intubate him," said Janet. "Sir, please, we need to concentrate on Dr. Jackson, I can't stop and answer questions right now," glancing towards Jack, "now, please back up and let us do our work".

After securing Daniel to the backboard and in the neck brace, the medic and Jack then lifted him to the gurney and secured that. Then, they rushed back through the house with the gurney and lifted it into the ambulance and Janet began her surgery to bring air into Daniel's starved lungs.

"All right, done here, now get us to the base ASAP!" ordered the tiny doctor, and with that the ambulance peeled out of the drive and headed towards the mountain base.

The three remaining friends were still in a bit of a shock, standing and watching the ambulance pull away. Jack regained a small amount of control and raced towards his SUV, jumped in and sped away to follow the ambulance carrying its precious cargo.

At the mountain, he tried to help the medics, but Janet pushed him away. As the team entered the infirmary, ready and awaiting their arrival, swarms of people encircled the bed that Daniel had been placed on. Orders for lab work and x-rays were shouted and followed through on; all the while trying to keep the colonel away so they could continue their work.

"Colonel, please, you need to back away so my team can do their work," scolded Janet. Not budging a bit, but continuing with his questioning of the medical staff as to 'what is this for' and 'why are you doing that' almost not stopping for a breath. Then his face paled, his entire body began shaking. The need to know what they were doing to Daniel and the reason for it all was overwhelming to him. He was in a fog and could focus on nothing but Daniel, in that bed, fighting to stay alive. No one else was in the room anymore. It was just Daniel... lying there... broken and bleeding.

Janet wasn't happy with the condition of Colonel O'Neill. "Sir?" she said, looking into Jack's eyes and flashing her ever-present pen light, Jack was totally unresponsive to her questions and actions as he just stared at Daniel. "I don't like the looks of the colonel, he's in shock, get me a sedative," she said quietly to one of her nurses.

Janet injected Jack in the upper right shoulder of the non-responsive colonel. After a few moments, Jack just slumped forward into the waiting arms of two male nurses. Janet instructed them to lay him gently on the bed next to the one occupied by Dr. Jackson. She told her nurses to check on his vitals and let her know if anything was wrong. If everything was fine, then to just check him every half hour; if he needed additional sedation, to go ahead and administer it.

Turning her attention back to Daniel, "Let's get him into the OR, now", as she began unplugging Daniel from all the stationary monitors, the medical crew wheeled him away.

~~~

Jack wasn't sure how long he was unconscious when he finally awoke from his forced sleep. He quickly turned his head and saw that the area next to him, where Daniel had been, was empty. Both Daniel and the bed were missing. Sitting up, Jack prayed that Daniel is only in the OR still. He stood up and began pacing the room. After what seemed like an eternity, he heard the unmistakable sound of the petit doctors' shoes on the cement floor as she entered the infirmary.

"Janet?"

"He is in extremely critical condition, Sir. Right now he's being wheeled into ICU. How are you?"

In a dazed voice, "I've been better." Looking into the eyes of his friend, "Janet, can we talk before your debriefing with Hammond?" He knew the protocol, and that the meeting would be imminent.

"Then that talk will have to be right now, as my meeting with the General is in 15 minutes."

Jack followed Janet to her private office and closed the door behind him. Glancing up to the ceiling, he looked at the security camera. The camera was off; disconnected, as a result of patient-doctor confidentiality that was so sacred to Janet. She felt that her patients would speak freely to her if there were a place that they could do so without the entire conversation being taped. Even though there was a large window on the wall next to the door so that Janet could oversee the infirmary while in her office, people could speak without being overheard.

As they entered Janet's office, she asked "So, tell me, what happened in there earlier?" Janet cocked her head toward the main part of the infirmary. "I don't usually sedate my superiors, but you needed to calm down and let us do our job."

"Can you tell me how he is?"

"Actually, that would be breaking confi..."

"Janet, please," he turned again to the doctor and she saw the fear for Daniel in his eyes. "I apologize for that, the sight of Daniel just..." Jack was using all of his will to try to hold himself together, and with a quivering lip, he turned back towards the window, "Please Janet, I need to know."

The silence from Janet spoke her response.

Finally, Jack confessed. "We're lovers, Janet. I love him; am *in* love with him," glancing over his shoulder to gauge her expressions of the statement before going on.

Janet just sat behind her desk. Jack could see only a slight change in her expression, even though she was trying to hide her surprise.

Turning back to the window, "We've been together for over 3 ½ years. I didn't know Daniel had feelings for me until, one night we were drinking, a little too much, and it just came out. He then told me his feelings were mutual. We spent the rest of that night talking. We talked about when each of us realized our feelings. About, how neither one of us had ever had felt love like we do for each other. How neither of us had ever had a male lover before."

Realizing that he was chattering away, Jack glanced back to Janet then faced the window again. "I know you didn't know. Nobody knows we're together. We're very careful about being... or rather, not being seen. My whole world is on that bed in the ICU. If I lose him, I lose myself too. I can't even... breathe... without him anymore. I guess you never expected to be hearing these things from me, but... I'm nothing if I don't have Daniel. It's like I'm a junky and he's my fix." Turning back to Janet with pleading eyes, "Please, Janet."

Admiring Jack for his confession of love for Daniel, she began "Okay, as his commanding officer, I guess I can tell you. Daniel is in extremely serious condition. We were in surgery for over 10 hours. He has a severe concussion; there was a small hairline fracture of the skull, nothing to warrant any type of intervention. He was, however, bleeding internally. We had to remove his spleen. He had several crushed ribs that we had to pretty-much wire back together. His left lung was collapsed due to bone fragments from the ribs, so a chest tube was placed to help to reinflate it. His kidneys are both bruised, and we'll have to watch them carefully. His heart was even bruised. He had a dislocated jaw, which we needed to reduce. Due to the problems with his lungs and the fact that he had a dislocated jaw, we were unable to intubate him, so, as you know, we needed to do a tracheotomy. His right shoulder had a tear in the rotator cuff, probably from his fighting back. We repaired that tear and his arm is in a sling. And he has several cracked vertebrae in his back; I'm actually very concerned about paralysis. There is also extensive bruising around his anus. There were actual tears to his colon, and they were repaired. He has multiple bruising and abrasions, some of which needed to be stitched. The ones on his wrists were the worst."

Jack had turned around again as Janet started listing the injuries caused by the severity of the attack. Tears streamed down his face in the reality that his Daniel was attacked so brutally, and that he was unable to keep Daniel safe.

"Now, Sir," Janet said, standing and grabbing Daniels folder, "If you'll excuse me, I have a meeting with General Hammond to update him on Dr. Jackson's condition."

"I want to be there."

"No, I don't think that is such a good idea. You are in no shape to..."

"Janet, please," he begged.

The look in Jack's eyes showed her that Jack intended to be in the meeting, seeing the anger and concern for Daniel in his eyes, and knowing that he needed to get to the bottom of this, she shook her head yes, and the two of them entered the ICU infirmary.

They went over to Daniel's bedside. Janet checked his vitals and Jack held his hand. The sound of the respirator pushing and pulling air from Daniel's lungs, the heart monitor beeping, the drips of fluids into Daniel's veins, all there to keep Daniel alive and on the mend, was again overwhelming for Jack and a single tear ran down his face.

They entered the briefing room and immediately sat down. The general was at the head of the table.

"How is Dr. Jackson?"

As Janet began filling the general in about the condition of their favorite archaeologist, Jack zoned out, replaying the scenes of the shower again in his mind. Coming to his senses after hearing his name spoken rather loudly, he addressed the general.

"Sir, we have to get to the bottom of this."

"I agree with you Colonel. Did you have any clues from the shower?"

"We have videotape of the scene, Sir; I haven't looked at it though."

"We should just turn the tape over to the MPs..."

"No!"

Surprised at the tone of his voice, the general looked between the doctor and Jack.

"Why not? It's what they do."

"Sir... what I am about to tell you will effectively end my career, but at this point I don't really give a damn. Maybe I should just retire and get the hell out before anything else happens."

"What are you talking about?" asked Hammond.

"Sir, Daniel and I are together."

Stunned, the General began, "Together... as in...?"

"Yes Sir. My resignation will be on you desk within the hour. I can't be much good in the field if I can't keep my team safe in their own house. Daniel and I have been together for more than 3 1/2 years. I have a feeling that this attack has something to do with that."

"Jack, there is no way you could have anticipated an attack. Who knows, maybe it's not about the two of you. It could be anything..."

Not able to continue the briefing Jack half-ran out of the briefing room, and made a bee-line for the infirmary. Janet and the general finished their meeting within minutes and she followed the colonel to Daniel's bedside, knowing where he'd escaped to.

"Sir, you need to get some rest."

"Didn't you already see to that?" said Jack, sounding a little snide. Then realizing the tone of his voice, he looked apologetically toward Janet with his puppy-dog eyes and she immediately forgave him because she knew that the strain of watching a loved-one in such critical shape takes a toll on the people that sit and care for them.

"I'm sorry," said Jack

"Look, Colonel, you need to get some sleep on your own. You're not going to do Daniel any good if you don't take care of yourself. You'll need to be strong for him for when he does wake up. He's going to need your support, both physically and emotionally."

Realizing that the doctor was right, he acquiesced and headed for the bed next to Daniel's bed.

"How much longer do you think he'll be out?"

"He's still unconscious from his injuries. If it were the sedative used for his surgery, he'd have woken up an hour ago. Why don't you pull that bed closer and you'll at least be able to touch his hand while getting the rest you need. I don't want to see you sleeping in that chair; you know what happened the last time you tried that."

Jack knew she was right. The last time he sat in that chair while one of his team recovered from surgery, his back and knees had him sidelined for 2 weeks.

The hours turned into days while waiting for Daniel to regain consciousness. As the days passed, Jack became more agitated. Waiting was never one of Jack's favorite things to do, and there was nothing he could do to reduce the time. Jack tended to Daniel as best he could. The medical staff tended to Daniel's injuries, but Jack tended to Daniel; giving him sponge baths, reading to him from some of Daniel's journals, and just talking to him. Then, on the 6th day, Daniel moved.

"Daniel," with a sound of relief, "Janet he moved!" turning his head to yell for the doctor.

Janet came over as Daniel fought his way through the layers of unconsciousness. As he did, though, he began fighting the respirator that was supplying his lungs with air. His eyes shot open as he tried in vain to gasp for the badly needed oxygen his lungs craved.

Seeing the panic in his eyes, Janet quietly spoke, "Daniel, just relax and let the respirator do its job," trying to alleviate the panic with her words. However, he could not relinquish the power of the desire to breathe.

Janet reached to the cabinet next to Daniel's bed and drew up an injection. "Daniel, this will relax you enough to let the respirator breathe for you," she said, as she injected the contents into the port of his IV. Within a minute, he relaxed enough for the respirator to begin pumping air again. Daniel struggled to remain awake long enough to study Jack's face for a few seconds, and then the pull to sleep became too great and he succumbed.

"Don't worry Sir; he's just sleeping from the sedative. His vitals are all good. He'll probably sleep for a good 4 hours or so. When he starts to arouse again, you need to explain to him to remain calm and not fight the respirator. You remember you've been on it before and there is panic when first waking up and realizing there is tube in your throat. Tell him that he needs to stay calm and reassure him that all will be fine." Smiling, Janet turned and went back to her desk and continued writing reports.

Reclaiming 'his' chair, Jack returned to his vigil over Daniel; not letting go of Daniel's hand, he just picked up the magazine and began reading aloud again to Daniel; and time passed again. Waiting was torture for Jack and everyone in the infirmary knew it. When it was time to take vitals on their patient, the nurses quietly entered the curtained-off area, got their information and retreated without even acknowledging the colonel.

True to her word, Daniel began to awaken about 4 ½ hours later, and Jack was right there.

"It's okay Daniel, just relax and let the machine breathe for you," Jack instructed him as he again fought to reawaken.

"That's right; just open your eyes so we can see that you're okay."

Jack encouraged Daniel the best way he knew how with the most concerned friend-like voice he could muster.

Janet came walking over noticing the change in vital signs on his monitors to see how her patient was doing. Daniel's eyes attempted to open, and after several failed attempts, they did finally stay open and his breathing stayed steady.

"Hey," said Jack, their mutual greeting while on the base.

Daniel just blinked.

"How are you feeling?" asked Jack.

Unable to answer, Daniel motioned for a pen to be given to him. Janet obliged and gave him a pad of paper also. He wrote the words 'how long'; because his right arm was in a sling, and being ambidextrous, he was able to write clearly with his left hand.

"How long what, Dr. Jackson? How long have you been here?" asked Janet.

He nodded his head yes.

"6 days".

Daniel's eyes widened at her response. He wrote, 'tube out'.

Smiling, Janet answered, "You've only just woken up. We'll check tomorrow morning and if your lungs are clear, if they are, we'll take out the tube, okay?"

He nodded yes.

"Now Daniel, you need to use the pain medicine button, understand? You've got to be in a lot of pain, and pain is the body's way of telling you that something is wrong."

Again he nodded.

Writing in his chart, Janet adjusted Daniel's IV, closed the curtain, and left the two alone.

"How are you?" Jack asked.

'Confused' wrote Daniel.

"Do you remember what happened?"

Daniel just closed his eyes and frowned.

"Did you see anyone?"

Daniel shook his head no. A tear fell from Daniel's eye and as Jack caught it on his finger, he flinched. Jack squeezed Daniel's hand, but he pulled it away. Then, Jack leaned in to place a kiss on Daniel's forehead. He flinched again, and turned his head as more tears fell from his eyes.

"Awe, baby, please don't cry. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I should have been there to help you with the dinner party."

Daniel shook his head no.

"Yes, I should have. There is nothing in this galaxy more important to me than you."

Daniel's tears kept falling.

"Are you in pain?"

Daniel turned and just stared at Jack.

Jack knew that he was in pain, and not telling him, so Jack hit the button to advance more pain relief medicine into the IV, as he knew Daniel wouldn't do it for himself.

Daniel glared at Jack for assuming he wanted the medicine, but his lips drew up into almost a smirk when the relief began.

"Why don't you try and get some sleep, I've been here for the last 6 days and I'm not leaving now."

Daniel's eyes drifted shut with the help of the drugs coursing through him.

Later, when he awoke, turning his head he found Jack asleep in the chair next to the bed. He watched Jack sleeping, wondering how many hours he saw in that chair.

Then Jack awoke and he smiled. Standing and leaning over the bed, he brushed his hand through Daniel's hair and he again flinched; Jack noted this and stored it away until he could speak with Janet. The hair needed washing, and as soon as the tube was removed, he was going to make sure that Daniel got into the showers.

Three days later, Daniel was well enough to have the respirator removed. Janet had taken him into the OR to remove and suture the tracheotomy site.

Upon waking, Daniel realized that he was indeed breathing on his own. He swallowed and the burning in his throat reminded him of how long the tube had been there. Turning his head, he saw Jack; slumped in the chair he knew had been Jack's home from the time he was brought into the infirmary.

"Jack."

It was good to actually say the name of his love again, even though it was barely a whisper.

"Jack."

Jack jumped at the sound of his name being said and, grabbed a cup of ice water. He brought it to Daniel's lips for him to drink from the straw. Seeing that the eyes of his beloved were open, he stood and leaned over the bed to kiss Daniel's forehead, causing him to shutter.

"Hey," Jack smiled at the greeting. "Hearing you say my name, it just..." overwhelmed, Jack couldn't finish his sentence. As tears began to well up in his eyes, he placed his face in his hands.

Janet came around the curtain after hearing the two speaking.

"It's good to see you're awake," smiling at Daniel. "How's the throat"?

"Sore," said Daniel, speaking in a raspy voice.

"That's to be expected. You had that in your throat for over a week. "How does your neck feel?"

Unconsciously, he raised his hand to the bandage on his neck, "Okay".

"Okay, if you're good and you're able to eat and drink, maybe you'll be able to go home in a couple of days, how's that sound?"

"Sure," he said while trying to keep his voice from faltering.

Daniel was not sounding as enthused as she'd expect him to be sounding after so long in the infirmary.

"All right, I'll check on you later," writing the remainder of his vitals in his chart, she motioned to Jack with her eyes that she wanted to speak with him.

"I'm going to get some coffee, and you need to go back to sleep. I'll be back soon."

Jack rose from the chair and stroked Daniel's cheek before departing the curtained-off section. Daniel rolled over and closed his eyes, shuttering again at the touch, and went back to sleep.

Jack, in the mean time, joined Janet in her office and closed the door.

"Did you see the look on Daniel's face when I mentioned that he could go home?"

"No".

"It was a look of terror. He's afraid of going home, and I don't blame him. To have been so brutally attacked in your own home...his sense of peace and safety in his home is simply gone."

Taking in all that Janet just said, Jack said, "He can stay at my place. He's usually there most of the time anyway."

"That's not the answer Colonel. Okay, as a short-term band aid maybe, sort of a half-way house between the infirmary and his own home. But, he eventually needs to return to his own house and face these fears and memories."

"Look, I know. Let's just take it slow right now."

"Of course were going to take it slow, I'm just making a point colonel."

"Right now, I'm wondering how he's going to do tomorrow."

"What's tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow, he has to give a statement on what happened."

"Colonel, does it have to be so soon?"

"Janet, it's been too long as it is. Usually an interrogation is within 24 hours of the attack - any attack."

After contemplating her patients' well being and physical status, she said "I'll allow this interrogation, but only if you're the one doing the interrogation."

Shocked at the statement, Jack turned around and looked Janet in the eye.

"I can't," his breaths coming in rasps, "there's no way..."

"Jack," her voice softened by the fact she knew the conflict going on inside him, "nobody will be able to make him open up about this like you will. He'll be less likely to shut down if you're the one asking those questions."

"Having to ask those questions is going to be like making him go through that day over again. I can't ask him to do that. Being his..." Jack's words died in his throat.

He sank to the floor and sobbed; the first time since bringing Daniel into the infirmary so many days ago. Janet followed him to the floor for support. She could only guess what he was going through. The fact that his lover of more than 3 years being brutally raped by many unknown people. She held him as he sobbed for the loss of another piece of Daniel's innocence.

"Jack, don't you think that having you there, easing him past those memories and having you to draw strength from will bring him past those horrors better than having some stranger delving into his private life and into things that people have no right knowing about?"

"You're right," said Jack pulling himself together. "You're right about the interrogation. I'll go speak with the General about. If he gives the okay, then I talk with Daniel." Jack stood up and headed for the door.

"You know, Jack, that I have a lot of respect for you. Doing this for Daniel shows how much you actually care for and love him."

"I just hope that he feels that way when I'm the one asking him about the attack."

Jack left the Generals' office and went back to the infirmary. Stopping first in Janet's office and giving her the thumbs-up sign. She knew what that meant. Now it was his job to convince Daniel that it was a good idea. He headed towards Daniel's curtained-off area at the end of the infirmary. Ducking behind the curtain, he saw that Daniel was awake.

Sitting on the edge of the bed and taking Daniel's left hand (and ignoring the shutter coming from Daniel), Jack began, "yeah, listen, Daniel, we need to talk about something. I just came from General Hammond's office. I wanted to let the General know how you were coming along. I also wanted him to know that I wanted to be the one doing the interrogation."

Dropping Jack's hand, Daniel was stunned and could only ask, "What?" Confusion and betrayal crossed his face. He tried to back away as far as he could from Jack, but that wasn't very far.

"Daniel, please, let me explain." He tried to take Daniel's hand and again, and Daniel snatched it from him faster than he could react.

"NO! How could you?" Daniel rolled over facing away from Jack, ignoring the pain.

Jack could hear his crying. "Daniel, it's either me or some MP lawyer you don't know. Some guy from the Pentagon that would ask questions that I'm sure you wouldn't want the Pentagon to know about you... or us."

Daniel's ragged breathing evened out. Jack knew he was getting through to him.

"I don't want to put you through this any more than you want to go through it. Unfortunately, it's not up to you. The fact that it happened to a civilian, employed by a highly classified government project, by most-likely military men, doesn't give you the right to deny prosecution. The government doesn't take kindly to their chosen men committing crimes of this or any kind, and getting away with it."

"I don't know who they were. I never saw them."

"Don't talk about it now. Not until tomorrow. I'll have a video-cam and computer with a voice-activated word processor. I'm going to make sure that you'll only have to do this once." He smiled at Daniel hoping to ease the burden of having to go through this. "Right now, let's just be happy you're here, and talk of what we're going to do with our down time." Smiling, Daniel relaxed at his words. "Get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning."

"Jack, just promise me one thing."

"Anything," said Jack.

"Promise me that Colonel O'Neill will do the interview and NOT Jack."

"What?" asked Jack confused by the request.

"Just think about it, and promise me tomorrow." With that, he gently rolled over and tried to get some sleep.

Jack went to exit the infirmary, but stopped when he saw Janet in her office still. Jack knocked on the door frame, Janet looked up and acknowledged him, and Jack entered.

"What's wrong Colonel?"

"Daniel just asked me to promise him something, and I'm not sure I understand what he wants."

"What did he ask you to promise?"

"He wants me to promise that Colonel O'Neill will do the interview and not 'Jack'."

Shaking her head, not understanding why the he didn't understand the simple request, "He wants the Colonel there and not Jack, so it's not the man he fell in love with. That it's the military man only doing his job asking those questions. He doesn't want this to come between the two of you."

"How am I supposed to separate myself; how can this not make a difference between us?!"

Carefully, Janet asked, "Do you look at Daniel differently now?"

Jack shook his head.

"Do you love him less?"

"Of course not!"

"But, have you told Daniel?"

"No". Perking up from his slouched position, Jack looked directly into Janet's eyes as he asked, "After the interview, can Daniel come home? He's really depressed and I think that a change of scenery will do him good."

"I already told Daniel that if he behaved and did what I tell him to do that he could."

Shaking his head, "I think that will help his mood immensely."

"And so do I," said Janet. "I'm concerned about him".

"So am I," replied Jack sadly.

"Colonel, you need to go slow. Have you noticed that he doesn't let you touch him?"

"Yeah, what's that all about?"

Motioning him to sit, "After an attack like this, any touch can seem like an assault; you need to be sure about how you approach Daniel. He's not come to terms about this attack yet himself, and now you're going to make those memories attack him again with every detail that he remembers. Just... be careful. Be respectful of him and his space for the time being. Okay?"

Understanding the warning given by his friend, "Thank you for your concern, I'll be careful. If I think I'm getting over my head, I'll end the interview. Okay?"

Smiling, Janet shook her head in mutual understanding.

"I'll check in before the interview in the morning, good night Janet".

"Ahh," said Janet holding up her hand, "I'll be there for the interview".

"Janet, do you think he really wants you there? I mean no offense, but this is embarrassing enough without a female there to hear all the details."

"I'll think about it. Good night colonel."

With that they left the office and went their separate ways. Jack had been staying on the base since the incident and went to the VIP room he had commandeered for himself.

Early the next morning, Jack awoke at his usual 5:30am and showered. He went to the commissary for breakfast and then to his office to work on his in-bin. Looking at his watch, the time was almost 9:30am. 'Time to get this over with,' he said to himself. Finishing the last folder, he place it in his out-bin and pushed himself away from his desk, turned off the light and locked and closed the door.

He went to the visual aid/accessory room and signed out the proper equipment that would be needed, and instructing the lieutenant on duty that he could retrieve the equipment from the infirmary in the afternoon. Putting the equipment on a cart, he wheeled the cart to the VIP room he was using, and then went to the infirmary.

Spying Janet he explained that he thought the interview would go over better in the VIP suite. Not being interviewed in the infirmary would hopefully relax Daniel enough to get through the tough job ahead of him. Janet agreed. She also agreed that her presence would just make Daniel more nervous and uncommunicative. She handed a sedative pen to the colonel and told him to use it if he felt Daniel was too emotional or hysterical over the events. Knowing he had used the pens before, there was no need to instruct him on the usage.

Jack retrieved a wheel chair and headed to Daniel's bedside.

"What's this for?" asked Daniel.

"I thought we'd do the interview in a VIP suite. It's less distracting there."

Daniel slowly got off the bed and into the wheelchair, not accepting help from anyone.

Jack then pushed Daniel to the VIP. Upon entering, Daniel immediately saw the recording equipment and tensed.

"Relax Dr. Jackson, this won't hurt a bit. I'm just going to ask you some questions about the night of your attack and then I'll take you back to the infirmary."

Realizing that Jack was conforming to his wish about the Colonel conducting the interview, Daniel simply said, "Thank you Colonel, I hope I can be of help to you in your investigation."

"I'm sure you will be."

Jack sat at one end of the table, while Daniel was offered the seat opposite the camera. Daniel attempted to make himself comfortable while the Colonel started the recording.

"Please state your name and social security number for verification."

The beginning of the interview went as any other interview except that the questions were personal and not about a planet he had visited. Then the question he had been dreading... "Tell me about the day of the attack, and please start from the beginning".

Daniel took a deep, calming breath - too bad it didn't work - closed his eyes and began his story:

"I woke up early that day, it was about 8:30, and went to the farmer's market outside of town to get the rest of the ingredients I needed for dinner that night. I ran a few other errands and returned home at approximately 11:30. I put everything away in the kitchen and headed for the shower.

I was almost finished, I just needed to rinse my hair and I would have been done. I leaned back to rinse the rest of the shampoo out and several hands grabbed me. Someone blindfolded me, so I couldn't see. One hand covered my mouth, and two more were holding my arms from behind. I fought back and landed a few punches before I was overpowered and forced to my knees. At that point someone used what felt like those plastic hand cuffs the MPs use on my hands and they were pulled tight. I couldn't feel my hands shortly thereafter.

One of them started to say something when I yelled at them. That earned a pretty strong backhand. Might have been where I got the black eye. Then the one standing in front of me started speaking again. He made some rude remarks about gays being on the base and allowed to be on SG teams. He said he was doing everyone a favor by what he was going to do to me. He said that he was going to have to see what all the talk was about a fag giving a blow job. The guys behind me forced my mouth open and I felt a large ... object ... shoved into my mouth. I knew what it was and I wasn't about to do what they wanted ... so I bit him."

Jack interrupted with a loud "What!" astounded and wasn't sure he heard what he thought he heard, "you did what?"

Daniel's voice and body started visibly shaking at this point. Jack knew that he was beginning to feel the shock of what was coming out of his partner's mouth was the most terrible thing that a person could deal with. He knew the sedative pen was still in his pocket and would use it if he felt it necessary.

"I bit him. I bit down as hard as I could. I tasted the blood in my mouth and heard him yelling. I knew it was a good bite at the amount of blood I had to keep spitting out. That's when several blows with someone holding me probably dislocated my jaw. I ended up on the floor while I assume they attended to the first guy. He told them to 'do it'. A couple of them dragged me to my feet, and slung me over the half wall in my shower. A gag was placed in my mouth. They started holding my legs when I kicked back and landed a kick rather precisely by the expletives that I heard. They took turns each holding a leg, and holding me down onto the wall. Then they took turns ... raping me. When what felt like hours went by, they must have all been done and I slid to the floor. That's when they began the beating. I could feel my ribs breaking. Then everything went black, and don't remember anything else until waking up in the infirmary."

The last few sentences were said with tears falling and lips quivering. As he finished his final statement, Daniel suddenly got up and ran to the bathroom and slammed the door. Jack could hear the unmistakable sounds of retching on the other side of the door. He needed to be with Daniel now as Jack and not as the Colonel. He turned off the recording equipment and headed for the bathroom.

"Daniel, it's me," Jack stated in a very soft and loving voice, "I'm coming in". He opened the door and bent down to help while Daniel emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet. There was nothing in his stomach as Daniel had not eaten in days, but the vomiting continued for 20 more minutes. Seeing how drawn and weak Daniel had become in the last 10 minutes concerned Jack. Daniel was becoming dehydrated -- quickly. Jack finally resorted to giving the injection to Daniel in his upper left shoulder. At the sting of the needle, Daniel immediately knew what Jack had done and jerked away and spun around in time to see the pen being replaced in Jack's pocket.

"How could you!" said Daniel sobbing and with venom in his voice.

"Daniel, look at you. You need to calm down."

"What the hell do you know about what I need to do?"

"I'm just trying to help you relax so we can have some time together to just talk."

Grabbing a clean washcloth and soaking it in some cool water; he placed the cloth on the back of Daniel's neck.

Daniel sat on the floor with his back against the wall and knees drawn up. He laid his arms across his knees and put his head on his arms. Jack sat on the closed toilet seat lid and continued to try to comfort Daniel.

Eventually, Daniel wanted out. He abruptly rose and headed towards the door of the suite. He made it as far as the bed and slid to the floor; Jack on his heels.

Amidst the sobbing and sniffling, Daniel whispered, "I can't do this again."

"Do what again?"

"It took me three fucking years last time!"

"Three years for what Daniel?"

Gasping, Daniel continued, slowly, "I never meant <sob> for you to know. It happened <sniff> 20 years ago."

"What happened 20 years ago?"

"I was 16 and a sophomore in college. <gasp> We had been in a few classes and started hanging around each other. We had gone out one night and he must have put something in my drink."

"You were date raped?"

Daniel nodded. "I woke up the next morning, <gasp> with my wrists tied to a bedpost. I was covered in dried blood and semen. I knew what had happened ... I could barely stand."

"Were you two together?"

Daniel shook his head 'no'.

"Had you been together up to that point?"

Again, Daniel shook his head 'no'.

"Had you ever..."

"NO!"

"You were a ..."

Daniel nodded his head.

"Jesus! Daniel you were date raped and you were a virgin?!"

Unable to continue, not only from the sobbing but from the sedative that was seeping his energy, Daniel just nodded yes, sobbing again to the point of hyperventilating.

Jack felt like someone had shot him in the heart. So many bad things had happened to the man before him. He truly wished he could take him back in time to undo all the bad things that happened, and replace them with good memories.

He stood, not an easy task after being crouching for so long, and sat on the bed above Daniel's form sitting against the bed on the floor. Daniel still pulled back from any touch, so he waited for him to relax and fall asleep. Daniel's sobbing continued for the next 45 minutes. Finally giving in to exhaustion, Daniel fell asleep. He gathered Daniel into his arms and cried himself over the nightmares that Daniel has had to live with. Daniel curled around Jack in his exhaustive sleep. Even if he couldn't allow touching when he was awake, his body knew Jack's.

After some time, a soft knock on the door came, and the door opened up slowly. A head poked in and he saw that it was Janet. She smiled at the sight before her.

Jack motioned with his head for her to enter.

She did and closed the door behind her. She approached the bed as quietly as she could.

Jack whispered, "He's been asleep for about an hour. I had to inject him; he fought it, but finally gave in."

Janet nodded and checked his pulse, "His pulse is strong. Do you want me to help you to get him off of you so that you could move?"

"No, let him sleep."

With that, Janet returned to the infirmary.

Several hours later, Daniel finally stirred from his slumber and immediately backed away from Jack.

"Feeling better," asked Jack in a voice dripping with concern.

Daniel just turned and looked at Jack, then looked away again.

"Okay. Let's get you back to the infirmary. You've been gone so long, Fraiser has been down here a couple of times looking for you."

Daniel nodded and got off the bed heading for the door. Luckily, Daniel was wearing a complete set of scrubs so he could walk back to the infirmary as Jack knew he would not accept a ride back in the wheelchair.

The two headed for the infirmary and entered as the doctor met them at the door.

"Well, Dr. Jackson, welcome back. I thought I'd have to send out a search party for you soon." Daniel barely looked at her as her attempt at levity fell flat.

The next 11 days were spent trying to increase Daniel's energy. Trying to get him to eat on a regular basis wasn't easy, but trying to get him to eat while he was depressed was something else entirely. Finally, Janet and Jack agreed that a change of scenery would hopefully drag Daniel out of his shell.

Entering the infirmary with Jack behind her, she said "Okay, let's see how you're doing and see if I can kick you out of my infirmary."

Turning at that information, he looked between them.

"Home?"

"Well, not exactly home Daniel; I was thinking for the next couple of weeks you'd be spending them at Colonel O'Neill's. Okay?"

With as much exhilaration as he could muster, "Sure".

"Colonel why don't you go and get Daniel some clothes, and by the time you get back, hopefully he'll be ready to go."

"Okay, I have to check in with the General too, so I'll be back in say..."

"An hour Colonel, and not a minute sooner" said the small doctor.

With that, Jack left Daniel in Janet's capable hands.

Exactly one hour later, Jack re-entered the infirmary to the scene of Daniel arguing with Janet as to whether or not he felt he needed pain pills and sleeping pills.

Turning to see that the Colonel had returned, "Colonel, these are for pain, he can take 1 every 4 to 6 hours," and she placed the bottle in his hand and then picked up another. These are for sleeping, he can take up to 2 every night, or 1 during the day for a nap, and she placed the second bottle into Jacks hand. "Any questions?" Janet asked looking at both of them.

He shook his head no, and glanced at Daniel. Daniel didn't look at either of them, but jumped off the bed and headed for the door to the bathroom with the clothes Jack had brought for him.

He returned a short time later and saw them speaking quietly. When he got closer they stopped talking and backed away from each other.

"Don't stop talking on my account!" said Daniel and he stormed out of the infirmary.

"Good luck," said Janet and Jack left to follow Daniel.

He met him at the elevator and the ride to the surface was long and silent. Settling in Jack's truck, Daniel could not find a comfortable spot to place the shoulder strap of the seat belt, he opted to place that portion behind him and just wear the lap belt. Daniel fell asleep before reaching the second checkpoint.

The ride home to his place only takes 15 minutes, but he decided to drive a bit to allow Daniel to sleep. 2 hours later he pulled into his driveway. Stopping the car, Daniel immediately woke up.

They went into the house together and Jack suggested that Daniel just make himself comfortable on the couch as he went in and started dinner. Daniel did so, and soon after fell asleep again. Coming into the living room to ask what type of vegetables he wanted for dinner, Jack found his sleeping companion. Leaving him sleep, he thought for maybe another ½ hour, he'd return to the kitchen and choose the vegetable he knew Daniel would choose. The ½ hour passed and, heading back into the living room, and did wake Daniel this time.

"Can you make the salad?" he asked as he gently shook Daniel's shoulder. Daniel, immediately at the touch, backed away and snapped his eyes open in fear.

"Hey," said Jack tenderly, "I just wanted to know if you'd make the salad".

Daniel got up, and the two went into the kitchen without saying a word.

Dinner was silent on Daniel's part. Jack continued to attempt to draw Daniel into conversation, but he was having his own conversation with himself in his head and that was taking all his energy and focus.

With dinner over and most, if not all of which remained on Daniel's plate, the two picked up their dishes and placed them in the sink.

"Why don't you go up and get a shower, I'll be up in a few minutes, I'm just going to put these in the dishwasher and finish cleaning up."

With that, Daniel silently left the kitchen and headed for the bathroom. He emerged after his shower, dressed for bed in his t-shirt and boxers. He slid into his side of their bed. Jack followed behind him, the kitchen back in order, and stripped to his t-shirt and boxers and climbed into bed beside Daniel, who was so close to the edge Jack thought that at any second he'd fall off. He understood that Daniel needed his space, but, from him?

"Why don't you roll over and I'll message your neck and back," leaning over to retrieve the baby lotion that Daniel loved so much from his night stand.

Doing as told, Daniel rolled over, but fear was in his eyes.

"It will work much better if you take your shirt off."

Obligingly, Daniel knelt up and removed his shirt and lay back down.

Jack poured some lotion into his palm and rubbed his hands together to spread the liquid and warm it. He placed his hands gently onto Daniel's shoulders and felt him tense. "Keep your eyes on mine," he instructed his lover, and pointed to the mirrors on the wall next to their bed. Daniel kept his eyes on Jack, but there was still fear in them.

After only a minute, Daniel bolted from the bed, ran into the bathroom and slammed the door. Jack, upon hearing the retching sounds from the bathroom was across the room within a heartbeat and... stopped.

"Daniel, I'm coming in, okay?" With only the sounds of the vomiting coming from the other side of the door, Jack entered the bathroom slowly and proceeded to the linen closet. He retrieved three wash cloths and a hand towel. He soaked the wash cloths in cool water and headed to help Daniel, who was still retching miserably. He tried to place his hands on him for support, but Daniel batted them away and continued vomiting. 25 minutes later, with Daniel exhausted and sore from the abuse of his abdomen and taped ribs, slumped face down sobbing to the floor.

Jack gently placed one of the wet cloths on the nape of Daniel's neck. Flushing the toilet and closing the lid, he slid onto the closed lid. He knew Daniel didn't want any kind of contact, but he needed to do something. He hoped Daniel would accept his helping now. He slid his hands under Daniel's arms and lifted him to a sitting position against the wall. Daniel lifted his head and rested it on the wall.

"Oh God, Jack, what am I going to do?" sobbing with each word.

"What do you mean?" asked Jack tenderly.

Still sobbing and unable to hold anything together Daniel said "US!"

He leaned onto his folded arms and continued to sob uncontrollably.

Jack had brought from the mountain, at Janet's insistence, additional pen injections for Daniel. With Daniel near hysterics, Jack felt the best thing to do was to help him calm down with an injection. Silently he reached into the cupboard under the sink, where he stashed them hoping Daniel wouldn't find them, and quickly injected Daniel in his left shoulder.

Immediately Daniel jerked away, moving as far into the corner of the bathroom as he could and turn toward Jack and with daggers in his eyes.

"You bastard! Is that your answer to everything? <gasp> Just drug him up and he'll do anything you want him to do? <gasp> You fucking hypocrite. You say you don't like any kind of drugs in your system, <gasp> and yet you can't wait to get them into mine. <sob> What are you going to do now, fuck me while I'm down?"

He lunged toward Jack ready to do damage, and all he was able to do was fall face down on the cold, white tile next to the sink. Jack jumped trying to save him from hitting his face on the floor. Unconscious from the injection, Jack turned Daniel over carefully, "Ahh baby," was all he could say as he brushed back the hair that landed in Daniel's eyes.

With that, he placed the second cloth on Daniel's forehead. The third, he cleaned Daniels face and wiped it with the clean towel. He got up and placed toothpaste on Daniels toothbrush, and knelt down next to his lover. He had never brushed anyone else's teeth before, but was sure that Daniel didn't want to wake up with the foul taste of bile in the morning. Slowly and tenderly, he brushed Daniel's mouth. Lifting and carrying him to their bed, Jack laid him down.

After a few minutes of watching Daniel, turning to leave, he heard, "Thank you" softly spoken, barely above a whisper, and turned to see Daniel moving himself into a sitting position, pulling his knees to his chest.

"You're supposed to be sleeping," said Jack.

The crying began again, and he sat down on the bed at Daniel's feet.

"I wish I were dead," Daniel simply said through his tears.

"Baby, please don't say that. We'll get through this, together, I promise."

"Together? I don't know if we can ever be together again."

With that, Daniel began sobbing again, looking straight at Jack.

Letting Daniel have his time to speak, Jack just shook his head. After a few attempts at trying to speak, words finally came out, "I love you...<gasp> more than anything in the galaxy, <sob>... and right now... I can't stand you even touching me!"

Daniel briefly closed his eyes, and when he opened them and looked into Jack's, all Jack saw was the despair.

"Those fucking bastards took more away from me than I ever thought possible to have. What am I gonna do Jack?"

"You're gonna let me help you."

Sighing, "I don't know if I can, and if I could, I don't know how to".

"Just let me," said Jack simply.

Daniel just shook his head. Laid down on the bed and pulled the covers over his body and tried to go to sleep.

The next several days were quiet, with Daniel not uttering a single word; only doing minor things Jack asked him specifically to do. Not engaging in any conversation, so Jack had to entertain himself; something that Jack really didn't like to do especially when his favorite entertainment was Daniel and Daniel was well within arms reach.

One morning Jack brought coffee into Daniel as he had been doing and placed it on the nightstand knowing that the rich aroma would awaken Daniel within moments. Jack turned around and headed for the door. Upon reaching the door, though, he thought he heard something just above a whisper.

"Thank you".

Swiftly returning to the bed and smiling toward Daniel, "Your welcome".

Sitting up placing his back against the headboard and his knees drawn up tight, Daniel began to speak again so softly and timidly that Jack had to strain to hear the words coming from his lips.

"I'm sorry".

"What would you have to be sorry for?"

"For the past couple of weeks."

A long pause between followed, neither one knowing what to say, "And thank you."

"For what?"

"For the past couple of weeks. For being there for me, for being here ... for loving me." Daniel began to sob almost uncontrollably, "Just ...<gasp> don't send me away," gasping and placing his hands over his face.

"What do you mean send you away?"

Still sobbing and gasping, "I heard you... and Janet... Please Jack...<gasp> don't send me <gasp>... to... mental health...don't send...<gasp> me away".

Daniel put his head into his hands and openly sobbed, hyperventilating.

"Daniel, you need to calm down, no one is sending you to mental health. And what do you think you heard Janet and me talking about?"

Still sobbing and gasping for air, "You're talking... mental ...therapy."

Thinking about the shattered sentence he just heard, and realizing that the therapy Daniel heard Janet and he talking about was the therapy for the two of them.

"Daniel, that therapy is for both of us".

"Huh?"

"Janet thinks that we need to attend therapy together to...get a handle... on what happened."

"Why you?"

"Janet seems to think that I need to 'get a handle' on my anger over this."

"What now?"

"Well, *you* need to do a few things. *You* need to let me help you. *You* need to let me touch you."

Daniel's head shot up again and stared Jack in the eyes with a look of terror.

Looking straight into Daniel's eyes, Jack began to speak lovingly, softly, supportive "Listen," trying to soothe Daniel, "just touch, nothing else. Right now, you jump at the feel of anyone touching you. You even flinch away when Janet touches you. You need to accept my touch. You know that I'll never, ever hurt you. Right?"

Daniel nodded in answer.

"Okay, so, I'm going to touch your arm, and you're gonna do your best to not pull away, okay?"

Daniel nodded his head. As Jack's hand reached for his arm, Daniel watched it. No sooner did Jack make contact, did Daniel jerk his arm away.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this."

"Shhh, yes you can."

"Daniel, I want you to look at me, look at my eyes."

Slowly, Daniel raised his eyes until they were looking straight into Jacks. He saw the love and understanding there. As he relished in that love, Jack touched his arm and Daniel didn't flinch.

"Now look at where my hand is."

Daniel moved his eyes towards his arm and the hand that was touching it, and left out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"See, you remember that I don't hurt; that I would never hurt you. It's a start."

Jack reached into his nightstand drawer and produced a small box. He laid the box onto Daniels knee.

"I got you something a while ago and haven't had a chance to give it to you. I think now is a good time."

Cautiously, Daniel opened the black velvet box. Inside, sat a pair of carved titanium rings. Dumbfounded, Daniel just stared at them. Jack removed one of them.

"I had planned to do this in a more romantic spot, but I think that now is a perfect time." Kneeling on the bed at Daniel's feet, "Daniel, I want to be with you for the rest of our lives. Will you to marry me?"

Jack carefully slid the platinum band onto the ring finder of Daniel's left hand. Tears were flowing freely down Daniels face.

After a few moments of staring at the ring, gasping, "Jack..." removing the ring from his finger and placing it on his outstretched palm, "Oh God! I can't..."

"Daniel, there's no pressure with this." Jack took the ring and again placed it again onto Daniel's finger, however on the right hand this time. "I want to be with you for the rest of my life. If I have to wait for that to occur, then I will. I know that someday we'll be able to do this. The regulations can screw themselves."

"Jack..."

"Daniel, please... just think about it. I bought these for us. I want this, and so do you. We've talked about it before. If you need time, then... then you need time. I'm not going anywhere. I just want you to know how I feel. I'm sorry that I don't have better words than this, I'm just trying to tell you what's in my heart, but it's not coming out right. Just please, think about it."

Daniel grabbed Jack's thumb that was still resting in his palm from placing the ring and held onto it tightly. He pulled the captured hand towards his face and rested the knuckle of Jack's first finger on his lips. It wasn't exactly a kiss, but it was all Daniel could offer at this time. The two stayed this way for quite some time, each not wanting to let go of the moment.

Eventually, Jack got to his feet and walked towards the door. "Now how about you help me with brunch," smiling at Daniel.

Knowing that he needed to start on the road towards his recovery and not wallow in the despair in his heart, he nodded and tossed the covers off, swung his legs over the edge of the bed and sipped his coffee.

"What do you want to make, Jack"?

Jack walked back over to the side of the bed, and held his hand out to assist Daniel in standing, not knowing if it would be accepted or not.

"I'm not sure, let's go see what's down there".

Daniel didn't accept the assistance in getting up, but that didn't deter Jack. Daniel stood and he padded off to the bathroom to pee. When he returned, he went to the dresser to pull out some clean clothes.

Jack, never taking his eyes off of Daniel, went to the door, "I'll see you in the kitchen," and left the bedroom; knowing that although he accepted a small touch from him, that watching Daniel change was not something he would not be comfortable with... yet.

In the kitchen, the two went about getting brunch together and on the table. Each engrossed in their own thoughts of what was going to happen today. Daniel, still being very quiet, would most likely spend the day on his computer thought Jack.

They ate in companionable silence and, together, stood to remove the dishes and place them in the dishwasher.

"Thank you for brunch," said Daniel attempting a smile towards Jack.

"You're welcome. What do you want for dinner?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Sure it matters, what about Thai from that place in town?"

Daniel seemed to brighten to the idea.

"Good, Thai it is".

Daniel retreated to the study and began to work on his computer. The phone rang and Jack answered it on the 2nd ring, before the machine could.

"O'Neill".

"Colonel, this is Janet. I called to get an update on Daniel."

Walking towards the hallway to make sure that Daniel was out of earshot, "He's better. He finally accepted a touch from me."

"Colonel..."

"It was just a simple friendly touch on his arm, nothing else. We spoke a little while ago, he was really upset."

"What about?"

"He thinks were going to send him back to mental health."

"Where'd he get that idea?"

"He overheard us talking on the phone the other day, and it really scared the shit out of him. So, I got him to calm down some and convinced him that he was wrong. That we were talking about the two of us just going to counseling."

"Does he understand now?"

"I think so. We're okay right now. He's starting to come around, it's just gonna take some time. We'll see how the next couple of days go."

"Don't forget, he has a follow up here Monday morning."

"I won't forget, he'll be there, say 1100 hours?"

"Sounds good, it's a date."

"Okay, good bye," and Jack hung up the phone.

Time passed and things, slowly, at a snail's pace according to Jack; the pendulum began to swing towards a better tomorrow.

~~~

Jack had been instructed to wait in the bathroom every time Daniel showered, in case a flashback occurred. Initially, it was to make sure he didn't hurt himself. They had been home from the base for almost 7 weeks. Daniel had accepted innocent touches from Jack without backing away. He was opening up little by little. Daniel would answer questions with more than a one-word answer. 'He wasn't reaching out, but at least he wasn't backing away' thought Jack. Jack busied himself with shaving as Daniel showered.

Eventually, Daniel asked, "How long am I going to be on suicide watch?"

Not surprised that Daniel knew he was on a suicide watch, but surprised that Daniel actually asked a question, "That's entirely up to you."

Daniel figured he would be for some time yet. He knew how much he was loved by his team and they were always sorry when he got hurt, because it also hurt them.

"Do you want to wash my back," so timidly that Jack almost didn't hear.

"Are you sure?"

"No, but I remember how much I enjoyed you washing my back."

Jack, still unsure, removed his shorts and cautiously stepped into the shower. Daniel had moved as far away from the door as he could. It was a large shower and there was plenty of room to move about, even with two grown men in it. He was 'hiding' behind the spray of the shower, breathing rapidly.

Unsure that this was a good idea, Jack again asked, "Are you sure"?

Trying to sound enthused and attempting humor, "I have to get clean, and we're in a drought, so let's just share the experience. Okay?"

Daniel handed his gel soap to Jack and turned around so that his back was facing Jack. Slowly, Jack lathered up the sponge to wash his lover, hoping that it was the right thing to do. With a sigh, "I'm going to start now, okay?"

Daniel nodded, and Jack laid the sponge onto Daniel's left shoulder. Daniel tensed as Jack began his message. "Please, just talk to me," panted Daniel still not sure that he would be able to continue what he asked of Jack.

"Daniel," said Jack hoping that the love he had for Daniel would be conveyed in his words, "I'm right here. It's only me, and I love you more than anything. You are being so incredibly brave in asking me to do this. I'm so proud of you for placing your trust back in me."

As Jack encouraged Daniel through the first few minutes of them together, Daniel began to relax. Eventually, Daniel turned around to face Jack. Cocking his head slightly, he raised his arms hoping Jack would understand.

Jack did and began to wash them as well. Jack obliged and felt his heart melting in the trust that Daniel was again placing in his hands. With the washing over, Daniel began to slowly move towards Jack.

"Thank you," said Daniel simply.

Jack retreated until his back was against the tile of the shower wall.

Daniel continued to advance until he was just inches away from Jack.

"I just wanted to thank you for the last few weeks."

With that, he leaned in and gave Jack a quick kiss. Stunned, Jack was speechless. He backed up in shyness again, unsure he did a good thing. He was unsure as to whether or not Jack thought it was a good thing.

After several long minutes, Jack's power of speech returned, "Daniel?"...

"I just felt I needed to... thank you."

Jack didn't move, hoping to not disturb the moment they were having; the first tender moment initiated by Daniel since...

Daniel approached Jack again, placing his right hand on Jack's check and the other on the tiles next to Jack's head. Slowly he closed the distance between their mouths, and again, kissed Jack. Then he closed the distance between their bodies. Continuing the unsure kissing, Jack realized that Daniel was becoming aroused and was quietly hopeful that their horrible ordeal was coming to an end. The encounter increased in intensity when Daniel began to undulate against Jack. Daniel began to pant and moan while sucking on Jack's tongue. Within minutes, Daniel reached orgasm and road out the feeling while gasping against Jack's shoulder.

As his head cleared from the post-orgasmic bliss, he jerked away from Jack with tears in his eyes.

"Oh... God!"

He bolted from the shower to vomit in the toilet. Following Daniel from the shower, Jack believed that Daniel was just upset because it was the first climax since his rape. He was about to find out otherwise. Grabbing extra towels from the linen closet, he wet the washcloths and crouched next to Daniel.

Daniel expelled what was in his stomach, which was not much since he still had not been eating, and sat with his back against the wall and his head cradled in his folded arms on his knees. He was sobbing quietly, but with his shoulders huffing with every breath, Jack knew he was crying.

"Babe, what is it?"

With a shaky voice Daniel answered, "I feel like I just did to you what they did to me."

"What?!"

Jack wasn't sure he'd heard right.

"I used you, just like they used me!"

Lifting Daniel's face to look in his eyes, he said "Daniel, what we just did, and what we do together is *NOTHING* like what they did to you! Every time we are together, we make love. We don't have sex. And what we do is out of love for each other, and the need to show and feel that love." Suddenly, an idea hit Jack, "Did you come when they raped you?"

Daniel shook his head.

"Did you even get an erection?"

Again, Daniel shook his head no.

"Then how can you even attempt to compare the two? You weren't the only one to get an erection and orgasm in there."

Daniel stared into the depths of Jack's soul through the windows in his eyes. Jack abruptly stood up and left the bathroom; and Daniel realized that he had made a terrible mistake.

~~~

They didn't talk about what happened in the shower that day, or the next. The two were walking on egg shells around each other, and Jack was getting sick of it. He hadn't heard any noise coming from the den in a while and went to check on Daniel, and hopefully clear the air between them.

Opening the door, he saw Daniel on the floor in the corner of the room. Daniel was obviously shaking, his eyes darting to figures that only he was seeing. Jack knew he was in the middle of a flashback, and that things could turn bad within seconds.

Slowly approaching Daniel so as not to set him off into a full-blown PTSD episode, Jack put his hands into a surrender position hoping that Daniel would understand that stance. Speaking quietly and lovingly, he approached Daniel. Laying his hand alongside his cheek, Jack tried to encourage him to return from that dark place he was in at the moment.

"Daniel, listen, it's just me. It's just Jack. Please come back to me love."

Daniel's breathing increased and he began to fight Jack.

It was too late; Daniel was already in the middle of a full-blown episode. Adrenaline can be powerful, and Jack forgot that for a moment. Daniel swung and landed a blow to Jack's stomach. Surprised at the strength of Daniel and being winded he lurched away curling around his tender abdomen. In that moment, Daniel darted for the door to run from his attackers.

Daniel had made it all the way to the back lawn before Jack had managed to catch up with and tackle him to the ground. Because Daniel was screaming at the top of his lungs for help, Jack was sure the police were going to end up arriving soon. With the strength in Daniel at the moment, there was only one way to control him. He locked his arms around Daniel's torso trapping his arms in the process. Lifting him off the ground and carrying him back into the house, Jack managed to get him into the bathroom before he lost his grip. Hoping to be able to inject Daniel with the hidden sedatives, Jack cornered him in the shower as he grabbed the syringe.

Distracting him by turning on the cold water, Jack was able to inject him in his left hip. It took longer than he thought it should have for Daniel to begin to falter. Daniel placed his back up against the tiles and slowly slid down the wall. He turned off the shower as Daniel began his descent. Only when he was sure that Daniel was completely under, did he even approach him. Daniel was listing to the right, soaked to the skin. Cautiously, Jack began to remove the wet clothing and left it on the shower floor. Carefully, he hoisted him to his shoulder and carried him into their bedroom. Placing him loving on the bed, he could only whisper, "I'm sorry."

Daniel awoke the following morning with no memory of what had occurred. It was around noon, and as he walked to the bathroom, he noticed a twinge in his hip. Not remembering bumping into anything, he figured he'd question Jack about it when he met up with him. After showering and shaving, he went to throw away the disposable razor and noticed a used syringe in the trash. Now, he knew that trash day had come and gone the day before, and was sure that he'd dumped the bathroom trash in the bag for pickup. Concerned and angry, he went to find Jack.

Jack was in the kitchen fixing lunch when he heard Daniel in the bathroom. Good, he thought, now I don't have to make up a tray. A freshly shaven and showered Daniel entered the kitchen with a queried look on his face. "What's wrong Daniel?" he asked innocently.

"Why did I find this in the trash in the bathroom?" showing Jack the syringe in his outstretched hand.

"Daniel..."

With anger in his tone, Daniel continued his rant, "Why do you continue to inject me!? I'm throwing the rest of those damn things away!"

As Daniel turned to head back to the bathroom, Jack grabbed his arm, "Daniel, sit down and we'll discuss it."

Daniel, not sure he wanted to hear more excuses for being drugged, leaned up against the counter instead and crossed his arms in front of him.

"I'm listening."

Unsure of where to begin, "I had to." Jack paused to look into Daniel's eyes. He saw hurt and betrayal. It had been the third time he'd needed to use one of those and he wasn't too happy with himself. "Yesterday, I came into the den where you were working and found you in the middle of a flashback. I tried to calm you down. You actually overpowered me, -- good job by the way I can tell you've been actually listening at those self-defense classes -- and were able to reach the back yard before I could tackle you."

Daniel's stance loosened a bit as he heard what had happened.

"I had to carry you, kicking and screaming, into the bathroom and I threw you into a cold shower. Even that didn't bring you out of your terrors, and luckily I was able to grab that," motioning to the empty syringe Daniel still held. "I had to. But don't worry, it was the last one. We'll get through this without any more. Okay?"

Not sure he fully believed Jack, Daniel agreed, "Okay. What if I have another flashback?"

Looking sadly out the window, Jack quietly answered, "I don't know. But I promise you, no more drugs," with that promise, Jack looked deeply into Daniel's eyes and Daniel knew he meant it.

The next day had Daniel in a very depressed mood. He didn't speak to Jack; he wouldn't even look at him. He just sat in the dark in his home office and stared at the wall. Jack knew that this was a turning-point to Daniel's recovery. Would Daniel let what happened destroy him? Knowing that Daniel wanted privacy, he decided to mow the lawn. Eventually, Daniel stood up and went to the front door, grabbing his keys to his Montero on the way. Still in a fog, he put the car into reverse and backed out of Jack's driveway. Once on the road, he headed towards his cottage.

Jack finished the lawn and went to put the mower back in the garage. Coming around the corner of the house, he noticed Daniel's car missing. "Shit!" Running into the house to retrieve his own car keys, he took off to find Daniel. Not sure, but acting on a hunch, he went to Daniel's cottage. Reaching the cottage in just over 10 minutes, he spotted Daniel's Montero in the drive. He pulled along side and headed to the front door. Not bothering to knock, he tried the door knob and, sure enough, it was unlocked. Not worried that Daniel could plunge off the balcony, as there isn't one on a one story cottage, he was worried that Daniel could try to hurt himself other ways.

"Daniel..." hoping not to frighten him out of his gourd, Jack entered the house. Things inside were a complete mess. Worried that someone else might be inside, he drew his personal gun and entered 'ops mode'. Searching the house not only for intruders, but for Daniel, he finally found him in his bedroom, on the floor, crouched in the corner. There was a song playing in the background; a song that Jack had heard before, but couldn't place where.

"What are you doing here Jack?" asked Daniel, still with his head face-down on his arms that were resting on his up drawn knees.

"Did you think I wouldn't miss you?" replied Jack.

"I needed to get out of there. Go ... somewhere. I feel like I need to get out of my own skin to regain myself. I've lost who I am and I don't know how to get *me* back."

"What are you saying?"

Jack was confused.

With desperation in his voice, Daniel continued, "I can't do this anymore. They never go away."

"What never goes away, Daniel?"

"The dreams ... the visions just keep coming and coming. I can't shut them out. They're beginning to control everything I do." Staring right into Jack's eyes, and with defeat in his eyes he continued, "I can't..." he swallowed the lump in his throat, replaced his head on his knees, "I can't love you anymore."

Stunned at the words coming from Daniel, "Why?" was all he could manage.

"I need you to commit me. If you can't, then I'll commit myself. I knew I'd end up there sooner or later anyhow. This just sped up the process." Daniel's exhaustion over lack of sleep for the last several days finally caught up to him. Daniel slid sideways to the floor as he passed-out from it. Gently Jack picked him up and laid him on the bed, took off his shoes, and covered him up.

Leaving the room, he contacted Janet.

"Janet, he's at his breaking point. He just asked me to commit him."

"Colonel, there is not one person I'd trust to do this but you."

"I know."

"Do you think you're strong enough to do what you need to do?"

"I don't know."

"Do you remember your training? You've been through this yourself. You're the only person who has had both experiences here on base."

"I know that too. But it's different. You know what Daniel means to me. If I can't bring him back from this, then it'll two lives I'll be ruining. I'm not sure that I have the distance to do this right."

"Jack, you're the one. You know what's at stake here. You have to get him to focus on that night and work through each and every event that happened. Otherwise, we'll be losing him to mental health, and we won't be getting him back. Do you need me to bring over any more sedatives?"

"No! I promised him that I wouldn't use any more."

"Are you sure you can do this without them?"

"I hope so. I'm not going back on that promise."

"Then, keep me informed. I want an update every day; whenever you're able to."

"Okay." With that, he hung up the phone.

Jack knew what he had to do. He had to lead Daniel through the memories one by one and hope that Daniel was strong enough to be able to come out the other side in one piece. Jack had been horribly raped while imprisoned in Iraq. He had someone do this for him. A complete stranger. If he had had someone that at least knew him, maybe it would have worked sooner. It had taken almost a month. Hopefully, he could take this journey with Daniel in days instead of weeks. He knew it would be difficult and that their relationship might be irreversibly broken due to the intensity of the deprogramming. He preferred to call it deprogramming. Deprogramming the mind of the event that was so terrible, that it burned, it consumed, it killed. He would not let that happen to Daniel. Come hell or high water, Daniel would be himself again!

Jack walked back into Daniel's room.

"Jack, if you don't call them, I will."

Putting on his forced air of intolerance to anymore of this scenario, Jack began what he knew would be Daniel's last chance to regain himself.

"Ya' know, I never thought of you as a quitter."

Daniel just continued to lie on his side and replied, "Oh well. Must be just another disappointment you can add to your list. There have been quite a few lately."

"Yeah, but quitting and giving up..."

"What do you want from me!" spat Daniel as he angrily turned and sat up looking straight at Jack.

"I want you to fight for who you are. I want you to get up out of that bed and stop feeling sorry for yourself!"

"What!?"

Daniel jumped off the bed and, arms and hands outstretched towards Jack's throat, he lunged toward him. Jack merely stepped out of his way and allowed Daniel to hit the floor.

He winced as Daniel hit.

"Guess you're not as good as I thought you were."

Sneering at the comment, Daniel swiftly got to his feet, shot daggers with his eyes at Jack and stormed out of his room.

The way he was going to need to act towards Daniel was going to be tough. To be the uncaring asshole that only goaded Daniel into lashing out would be a test in tolerance. Daniel, he was pretty sure, would not have a clue as to what was actually being done. There would be no way he would know of the plan between he and Janet.

Following Daniel out of the room, he wasn't about to let Daniel out of his sight until this was over; no matter how long it took. Daniel was on the precipice; which way he fell was up to no one but Daniel. Could Jack make sure that he fell his way?

Finding Daniel in the kitchen worried Jack. Would Daniel commit suicide? The next time Daniel slept, he would make sure that all the sharp objects from the kitchen were secured. "What do you want for lunch, Daniel?"

"Fuck off, Jack" spinning in place to glare at Jack.

"Maybe later, Daniel," replied Jack grinning.

"I need a drink," sliding past Jack, Daniel headed towards the dining room and the liquor cabinet.

"I really don't think that's a good idea Daniel. Besides, it's locked and the key isn't here."

Spinning around again towards Jack, his temper on the rise, he opened his mouth to make a smart-ass comment, but, closed it quickly and headed for his bedroom.

"Great, let's go relax in the bedroom and watch a movie. What kind do you feel like watching?"

"I don't want to watch a movie. I want to be alone!" With that, he slammed the bedroom door in his wake and locked it.

Jack heard the lock click into place. "Open the door Daniel, or I'll break it down. You have 3 seconds."

"Just leave me alone!!"

"I'm sorry Daniel, I can't do that. Time's up, are you opening the door, or am I breaking it down?"

No answer came from within the room. Jack backed up two steps and kicked the door off the hinges, it shattering on the floor; 'just like our relationship,' thought Jack.

Entering the bedroom, he found Daniel on the floor with headphones on, daggered eyes glaring. Slowly Daniel closed his eyes, let his head loll backward against the wall, and let the music carry him away.

He took the opportunity to go into Daniel's master bath and remove any sharp objects from there. Finished, he walked through the bedroom, observed Daniel still lost in his music and humming, and headed for the kitchen to do the same there. Packing all he had gathered into a box, he placed the box in the trunk of his car for safe keeping.

Back into the cottage and he then heard singing. Singing?! Daniel sang? Daniel sang good. Daniel sang really good. The singing stopped, assuming the song was switching tracks; he walked over to the opening to the bedroom and listened again. Daniel began to sing:

As Jack listened to Daniel singing, he heard the pain and desolation in his voice increase. By the time the song ended, Jack's heart was breaking all over again at the sound of the despair in his lovers' voice. A loneliness that was breaking through with the words of the song.

It was the most incredible thing he'd ever heard. He didn't know that Daniel sang, let alone, sang like that! While he waited for the next song, hoping it was happier than the last, Daniel began to sing again. It was a repeat of the last. Realizing that Daniel was singing about the two of them was like being stabbed in the heart. He stepped forwarded and laid a hand on Daniel's shoulder.

Daniel jumped at the unexpected touch, ripping off his earphones, "What the hell do you want?"

"I never knew you could sing."

Trying to keep his anger in check, he said "It's not something I share with anyone."

"You sing beautifully, you know. Why that song?"

"It's rather appropriate, don't you think?"

"Why is it appropriate? You haven't lost me. I still love you more than I can say."

"It's only time."

"What's only time?" asked Jack.

"Until you're gone."

Confused, Jack sat down on the floor in front of Daniel, his eyes asking for more of an explanation.

Looking dejectedly up into Jack's eyes, Daniel continued, "I figure that soon, you'll get fed up with me and that'll be the end."

Remembering that he needed to be a hard-ass and not the understanding softy that Daniel wanted Jack to be at the moment, he changed his demeanor. "Then do something about it!"

"What do you want me to do, Jack?"

"I want you to fight! I want you to get yourself together and snap out of this depression! I think you've milked it long enough, cause I'm tellin' ya' it's really gettin' on my nerves!"

"I don't have any fight left in me. So, why don't you just go home ... and forget about me ... because I have nothing left to give."

The last statement proved to Jack just how low Daniel had sunk. Jack knew what despair sounded like and Daniel was in the middle of it. He knew exactly how to bring Daniel back, to show Daniel he had the strength to continue.

As Daniel closed his eyes again and started singing the song over again, Jack grabbed the headphones from his ears and threw them and the stereo CD player across the room, they shattered into pieces and fell to the floor.

"Who are you trying to convince, you or me that we're over?"

Stunned at the violent outburst, Daniel opened his mouth to say something and was abruptly backhanded by Jack. Hurt that Jack would strike him, Daniel turned back towards Jack.

"You know, all these years that you've been on my team, I knew that you never did belong. You were the reason Skaara and Sha're were taken. You were the reason Sarah was taken. My first impression of the scientist-geek was right. Civilians don't belong on SG teams. I just never mistook you for a quitter. I hope your resignation has been updated."

Feeling like crap, Jack turned to leave Daniel to think about what he'd just been told. He only got three steps towards the door before he was dropped by Daniel grabbing hold of his legs. Hoping for a reaction, he got it. Daniel then proceeded to actually use the combat training he'd received at the insistance of Jack. Fighting back, Jack tried to not hurt Daniel too much; although, Daniel was trying to beat the crap out of him and it was hard not to.

When all was said and done, the two lay on the floor, each unconscious from the final blows. After a few minutes, Jack came around. Realizing what had happened, he quickly went to the kitchen. He placed ice into several Ziplocs and returned to the bedroom. The bedroom was in shambles from their fight. He lifted Daniel and placed him on the bed. He put the Ziplocs into towels and placed them on the bed for when he awoke, and straightened up until he heard moaning.

Daniel was awake and looking around trying to ascertain why he felt the like he'd gone ten rounds with Teal'c.

Jack approached him with his hands held out in surrender.

"Don't worry, I won't attack you." He picked up the ice packs and handed them to Daniel. "How are you?"

Daniel, still trying to put together what had actually happened, took the ice and placed one pack on his right jaw. It was sore and felt too big for his face. "I'm... okay," steering away from his usual answer.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you," confessed Jack. "I didn't mean for it to go that far."

"I'm sorry, too Jack."

Jack sat on the bed, and the two hugged each other for the first time in many weeks.

~~~

Two weeks later:

Sunday came and it was late afternoon when the subject of dinner was brought up.

"What do you want tonight, Daniel?"

"Take out?"

"All right, from where?" trying to engage in a more lengthy conversation. Although Daniel would speak or answer direct questions, he rarely seem to be able to hold a conversation for more than a minute or two; or answer questions with more than the most simple of answers.

"I don't care," said Daniel, again leaving any sort of decision up to Jack.

"No, it's your turn to choose. Here are the menus. Pick something and order it, I'm going for a shower."

With that, Jack almost sprinted off to the shower so that Daniel would do this on his own.

45 minutes later, the doorbell rang as Jack came down the stairs from showering, looking and smelling a lot better than he did before. The afternoon was spent cutting grass, weeding, fertilizing and such, so the shower was a welcome indulgence.

Opening the door and seeing the delivery guy, he shouted, "Bring your wallet Daniel". Jack took the proffered bags and brought them to the kitchen while Daniel was forced to pay the man. He took two twenties out of his wallet and handed it to the man looking directly at his eyes; it was something Daniel always did as his training taught him to.

"You're not the regular delivery guy," said Daniel.

"No, he's sick so I'm just filling in," rattled the man, and he left in a hurry. Daniel was about to ask for his change, but just left the man retreat thinking that maybe he was in a hurry to deliver other dinners. He closed and locked the door and thought nothing more of it.

"Thai. Good choice Daniel. Soon they'll know our order by the sound of our voices," said Jack as Daniel entered the kitchen. Jack was opening the cartons of food and dishing out it contents for each of them. Sitting them on the table and grabbing a beer from the fridge, and the bottle of wine and a goblet from the cabinet he brought the drinks to the table as well. Pouring out a ½ glass of wine for Daniel and removing the cap from his beer, they sat down for their meal.

Jack just dove right in as he was rather famished from all his exertions from the day. He realized that Daniel was only playing with his meal instead of actually consuming it.

"What's wrong?"

Daniel glanced up at Jack and then back down to his meal.

"Nothing, just not hungry".

"Did something happen when I was in the shower?" concerned about the lack of sustenance Daniel was consuming.

"No," he said, looking at Jack and attempting a smile, "just not hungry".

"You ordered this".

"I know."

"What then?"

"I don't know!" Then feeling sorry for yelling, Daniel apologized, "I'm sorry. It's nothing you've done. You have been so great over these last few weeks that..." Daniel lowered his head and began to fidget with his napkin.

Jack stood, and went to Daniel's side, and sat on his haunches, "Daniel," he said as he placed his hands on Daniels thigh, "look at me."

Daniel turned his face towards Jack.

"What can I do to help?"

"Nothing."

"You've been doing so good these last few days, what's changed?"

"Nothing, I'm fine, just tired."

It was an excuse that Daniel used all the time when not wanting to talk about his feelings or worries.

"I'll bet you're not fine, but I'll let it slide ... for now."

Jack smiled up a Daniel, and for the first time in weeks, he saw the love that Daniel held for him in his lover's eyes.

He knew that Daniel had come a long way since the attack, but he also knew that there was a long way to go yet. Baby steps were being taken and the groundwork for rebuilding what they treasured together was being laid. He knew that he was doing everything that he could do to help Daniel, but some things Daniel had to do on his own. The love was still there between them and that was worth fighting for, if need be, for the rest of his life.

Standing, Jack went to his chair to finish his dinner. After a few more fork-fulls, his plate was empty, and he grabbed both dishes. Replacing the contents of Daniel's back into the container, He rinsed both plates and put them into the dishwasher.

Turning to Daniel, he said "Come on, let's watch a movie," and he retreated to the living room in search for a classic.

The two settled onto the couch to watch the movie. Shortly thereafter, Daniel noticed Jack not looking too well. At that moment, Jack jumped off the couch and sprinted to the bathroom leaving Daniel to watch in confusion. Upon hearing the vomiting from the bathroom, he quickly followed the steps of his love to give assistance if at all possible.

"Are you okay?" asked Daniel upon entering the bathroom. Seeing the distress that Jack was in he headed for the linen closet to gather washcloths and towels. Immediately wetting the washcloths, he then took them to Jack who was still vomiting. After some time, Daniel was getting worried. The vomiting had not decreased and Jack was extremely weak.

"Come on, were going to the base, you need a doctor."

He helped Jack to his feet. Jack, too weak to hold his own body weight, crumpled back to the floor, unconscious. Daniel lifted Jack into a fireman's carry and headed straight for his Montero. Placing Jack on the back seat and covering him with the blanket he kept for emergencies, Daniel started the SUV and began backing out of the garage. He plugged his cell phone into the hands-free device and sped away.

Dialing the base the line was picked up by the operator, "This is Dr. Daniel Jackson; put me through to Dr. Fraiser immediately!"

"Dr. Frasier..."

"Janet, its Daniel, something's wrong with Jack. We're on our way in; I'm 15 minutes ..."

"Daniel, what's wrong?"

"Janet, I think it's food poisoning. I've had it before a couple of times myself, but I've never seen it hit with such fury."

"Tell me what his symptoms are."

"He's been vomiting, violently for the last 45 minutes, his breathing is slowed, he's clammy and he's unconscious."

"That sounds like more than..."

"Jack!"

Daniel slammed on the brakes and skidded off to the shoulder of the road.

"Daniel, what is it?"

"He's not breathing, Janet! Oh God, he's not breathing!"

He jumped out of the driver's seat and opened the back door, dragging Jack onto the ground.

"Daniel, you have to start CPR."

"I've already started! Janet hurry!"

"We're on our way Daniel; just keep doing what you're doing!"

With that, Janet went into action back on the base rounding up her staff and heading for the surface and their ambulance.

"You can't do this to me Jack!"

He continued his CPR on his lover to keep him alive until help arrived.

Finally, help arrived in the form of Janet and two medics.

"Daniel, please back up so we can help the Colonel," Janet said as she tried to grab Daniel away from Jack.

"NOOO! Don't touch him!"

He was hysterical by this point, and Janet knew they were running out of time. Speaking softly and holding her hands up in surrender, she walked over to him and pleaded, "Daniel, we need to help Jack. Please..."

Looking to Janet for support, he fell away shattered by emotion. The medics converged on Jack and resumed CPR. One medic stripped him from his shirt and laid the conduits for the EKG leads to be hooked to. Upon starting the machine, and seeing that he was in v-fib, Janet ordered 200 on the defibrillator. One shock was all it took to restart the Colonel's heart. Placing an air mask over his mouth and nose, Janet ordered him moved to the gurney and into the back of the waiting ambulance immediately.

Almost losing sight of Daniel in the rush to save the colonel, she turned towards him. He was sitting with his knees drawn up against his chest and his arms surrounding them. Shaking and staring at his lover being loaded into the van.

"Daniel, please come with me."

Daniel raised his head toward her voice and looked at her with unfocused eyes. Automatically, he held out his hand for assistance standing and followed Janet into the ambulance. When all passengers were safely on board, the ambulance sped away toward the mountain, and the infirmary to save the life of Jack.

IV lines were started, and blood was drawn while the ambulance sped towards the mountain.

Once in the mountain, the van was lowered to the infirmary level. The team awaiting them opened the doors to the back of the ambulance and immediately began pulling the gurney carrying Jack towards the triage area.

Daniel bound out of the back and followed the gurney without taking his eyes off Jack. He watched from the far end of the room, hugging himself to give himself some sort of grounding. Minutes ticked by and the hustle of the room began to quiet. Janet reentered the room with lab results in hand, and headed towards Daniel.

"Daniel, what did you have for dinner?"

After getting no response, she spoke the question again louder and positioned herself right in front of him. Daniel blinked several times, and slowly moved his eyes to meet the doctor's.

"What?" stunned and dazed.

"Daniel, what did you have for dinner?"

Slowly, Daniel replied, "We ordered Thai. Why?"

"Daniel, the Colonel has been poisoned. There's no doubt from the blood work that the poison was administered within the last 2 hours. Did you eat anything?"

"No, I wasn't hungry."

"Good. We've given the Colonel something to counteract the poison, hopefully it'll work. Unfortunately, he's in a coma. Hopefully, within the next 24 hours, he'll come out of it. The longer he's in a coma though... I'm sorry. I wish there was something more I could do. But, he's going to have to fight this on his own."

With that, Janet walked out of the room. Daniel turned back to Jack and took his hand; and squeezing it, he leaned over to speak directly, and only to, Jack, "You don't need to fight this on your own Jack. I'm here. Feel my hands on yours. Draw strength from me. Please come back to me, love," his lower lip was quivering.

Sam and Teal'c had come and gone throughout the morning, checking on Jack. Each had an extremely busy schedule with Teal'c training new recruits, and Sam overhauling the diagnostic system of the main computer, so their visits were brief.

Daniel sat in the chair beside Jack's bed for the remainder of the day, through the night, the next day and into that next night, waiting for his love to recover.

You could almost see the gears working in his brain. The change of demeanor and the look on his face brought chills to Janet.

"Daniel, what is it?"

Daniel back away from Janet as she approached.

"Janet is Jack out of the woods yet?" speaking clearer than he had toward her since his whole ordeal had begun all those weeks ago. Looking almost dangerous, "You have my cell phone number. I have to go. You call me if there is any change in Jack! Promise me!"

"I will, but where are you going?"

He was torn between needing to be with his lover and getting away. He ran out of the infirmary. He needed to be anywhere but where he was. Walking briskly he wandered the floors of the SGC with his arm around himself and head lowered.

Eventually, he found himself on a floor that was rarely used for anything other than storage. Level 15 was well known to him, as several of the storage rooms were used for artifacts. Realizing that it was nice to be alone, he continued his walking. Then, he heard it -- voices. Wondering why people would be here, he went towards the voices. It was a storage room numbered 15-19A. Quietly approaching the slightly ajar door, he overheard a conversation that was all-to shocking.

Something came over him and he acted on instinct; something that Jack and Teal'c had instilled in him from his early days at the SGC. These men weren't going to be leaving this room alive.

Slamming the door open, he surprised the three inhabitants.

"Do what you want to me, but NOBODY FUCKS WITH MY FRIENDS!"

~~~

Some time later, Daniel half crawled from the storage room to the emergency button a short way down the corridor. With the last of his energy, he hit the button, and slumped unconscious to the floor.

Within a minute, the SFs had arrived and contacted the infirmary to send medics.

With Daniel being taken care of, the SFs begin to secure the area. Following the blood drops on the floor from where Daniel had laid, they were lead to storage room. There, they discovered three dead airmen.

"Contact General Hammond, and have the tapes from the hallway and the storage room removed and taken to the General's office immediately," stated Major Thom, the ranking SF on duty.

~~~

Daniel awoke an hour later, and attempted to sit up, but Janet pushed him right back down.

"What happened?" She asked lifting her ever-present penlight to his eyes.

"I don't know. Oh, God!" Daniel closed his eyes and began to hyperventilate as he maneuvered himself into a sitting position. "Janet, I need to see General Hammond."

"Okay, but first I need you to calm down. Slow down your breathing."

She instructed Daniel on breathing deep to regain his composure, and then went to the phone to put a call into the general. However, before she could dial his complete extension, the general walked through the doors.

"Dr. Jackson, can you tell me your version of what happened in that storage room? I've just come from there and there were 3 dead marines." Turning to Dr. Fraiser he said, "Dr. Warner was notified."

Janet continued with her examination of Daniel's right hand. It was extremely swollen and bloodied. She had already seen to the cuts and abrasions on his face. An x-ray was ordered of his hand and chest as she spoke with the nurse at her side.

"I want to turn myself in. I think ... no, I'm pretty sure that I did that."

"You're right, you did," stated Hammond, "it was all caught on tape. We heard them speaking of your attempted murder, and the colonel's. When you entered, the three of them attempted to kill you again." Turning his attention to Janet, "They actually mentioned the exact poison and we'll be able to create an antitoxin per Dr. Warner."

Janet hurried out of the infirmary towards the lab to begin testing for the antitoxin.

"You have nothing to turn yourself in for. It was clearly self-defense. There will be no repercussion for your actions."

"Thank you sir, but I committed ... murder ... and I am ready and willing to be taken into custody."

"I said that you were not guilty of murder. Viewing the tapes, it was clearly self-defense. End of discussion."

Lowering his head, Daniel almost whispered, "Thank you". The nurse then helped him into a wheelchair to be taken to x-ray.

Upon returning from radiology, an hour later, Daniel saw that Janet was by the bedside of Jack.

"Janet?" Daniel worried.

"Don't worry. Once I knew the name of the poison, we were able to synthesize the antitoxin rather quickly. He's getting stronger by the minute." Turning to Daniel she said, "As for you, you have two cracked ribs and several broken bones in that hand; we'll need to cast it."

As, she finished up with casting Daniel's hand, and instructing him on how to not use it for the next 6 weeks, they saw movement coming from Jack's direction.

Turning, they saw that Jack's eyes were open. Still being on the ventilator, he was unable to speak, so he just watched the two. Janet hurried over to his bedside, as did Daniel, and she began flashing her penlight into Jack's eyes. Seeing equal reaction in both irises, she was happy that the preliminary test showed no neurological problems.

"Would you like me to remove the ventilator?" she asked knowing the answer without waiting for Jack's nod.

Within minutes, he was breathing on his own. She excused herself knowing that Jack and Daniel needed some time together.

Sitting down on Jack's bed, Daniel smiled at his lover.

"What happened to you?" asked Jack pointing at Daniel's casted hand and arm.

Sheepishly, Daniel said "Um ... got into a little fight."

Concerned, Jack pressed, "What kind of fight? With who?"

Unsure of how to explain what had happened, Daniel just started at the beginning and explained about the poisoning in the dinner, the trip to the mountain, (leaving out the part where he actually died as was kept alive only by CPR), and the three men he encountered in the storage room. He explained as best he could of the change that occurred when hearing it actually stated that these men wanted to kill the two of them for being in love with each other.

Daniel put it in a way that helped Jack understand their love once -- Jack was Daniel-sexual and Daniel was Jack-sexual. It was as simple as that. They fell in love with a person, not a gender.

When Jack began nodding-off, Daniel removed himself from the bed.

"You get some sleep."

Smiling at Jack, Daniel squeezed his hand and turned to walk away.

"Don't go, Daniel; stay with me. Stay with me so that I know this isn't a dream. That you've ... come home to me."

"I have, babe. Thank you for your support over all of this."

Jack's eyes finally closed and Daniel was able to remove himself from Jack's bed. Janet walked in at that moment and brought Daniel into her office.

"How's the hand feeling?"

Looking at his hand he replied, "fine".

"And you?"

"I think, with Jack's help, I'll be able to work through this."

"You've come so far, Daniel. You know that Jack loves you."

Daniel nodded shyly. He was just getting to the point of being able to talk to Jack about his feelings for him, and wasn't normally comfortable talking about himself with anyone other than Jack. However, Janet obviously knew about the relationship between them.

"Yes, I know. When did you find out?"

"When you were injured. Right after we finished your surgery, I came back into the infirmary to find him very distraught. He followed me into my office and confessed. I suppose I should have known all along. But, sometimes we don't see what's right in front of our eyes."

"No. You couldn't know. We couldn't tell anyone. It would have put too many people in bad positions. Who all knows now?"

"Just the General and myself. It's nobody's business but your own. It's under doctor-patient confidentiality, so I'll never tell anyone."

"What about the General? Jack's entire career is on the line. He loves his job. He loves being in the military. This is entirely my fault."

"What do you mean?"

"He wanted to retire last year, and I told him it wasn't the right time. I told him that there was still an enemy out there that needed to be dealt with. I convinced him that we needed to wait until we had the upper hand on the Goa'uld. I was wrong. As soon as Jack's released, I'm resigning. I'm sure that Jack will resign and we'll go away. Our tomorrow is starting today."

"How can you do that? The Goa'uld are still ..."

"At this point, Janet, I really don't give a damn."

He walked back into the infirmary and planted himself on the chair next to Jack.

Jack slept through the night and awoke to find Daniel's head, pillowed on his folded arms, on the bed next to his left hip. He stroked Daniel's hair gently until he stirred and raised his head. Smiling, Daniel placed his hand on Jack's right cheek.

"Good morning. How are you feeling?"

"Fine," then grinned, realizing he was using Daniel's pat answer for everything. "What happened?"

"You were poisoned."

"What!"

"The Thai food was ..."

"... Poisoned." Janet finished Daniel's sentence as she entered the infirmary after hearing voices. "How are you feeling this morning? And, don't tell me fine," as she retrieved her penlight and shone it into Jack's eyes.

"I feel like I'm hung-over."

Hearing the door opening again, the trio turned to see General Hammond, Teal'c and Sam enter.

"It's good to see you awake, Colonel. How is our patient doing this morning, Dr. Fraiser?"

"Well, according to the Colonel, 'hung-over'. According to the most recent lab tests and monitoring, I'd say pretty-much back to normal. He can be released as soon as I can get some nourishment into him."

"That's good, because I'm going to need a statement from you."

"A statement? There's nothing I can tell you."

"He's right, General. I ordered the food, and I paid for it. There's nothing else that needs to be discussed except, my resignation."

Barely able to hold his surprise, Jack followed with, "Mine too, Sir".

"Sir?" asked Sam.

"O'Neill, why would wish to resign at this point? We require your expertise in the field of battle against our enemy," explained Teal'c.

"We'll discuss those resignations when you're feeling better, Colonel. Right now, get some rest. Keep me updated, Dr. Fraiser."

As the visitors left, Daniel grabbed Jack's hand.

"I meant it Jack. This was the last straw. I'm not willing to put your life on the line anymore. We are gone as soon as Janet releases you. You were right last year. I'm so sorry that I ..."

"Whoa, slow down and take a breath."

Daniel did just that, and then smiled at Jack.

"I agree with you. I am so ready to be gone. I'm not willing to have your life in jeopardy any longer either. Whoever is responsible for these attempts on our lives are still out there ..."

"No, they're not," replied Daniel quietly, unable to look at Jack.

"How do you know?"

"They're dead," still unable to meet Jack's eyes.

"How?"

"I ..." and Daniel finally had the courage to look into Jack's eyes. He saw nothing there but love and admiration for that Jack held for him.

~~~

Two weeks had gone by. The Colonel had been released from the infirmary the day after being admitted. The resignations were turned in to General Hammond. Their respective offices had been cleaned out and a small retirement dinner of just close friends was going to be taking place that night. Daniel still had not explained to Jack what had happened to the men that had tried to kill them; and no one on the base would tell him either.

As people began arriving at Jack's house, the mood of the evening was set as happy. Food was cooked and eaten, and drinks had been drunk. Eventually, their small group of friends was complete, and Jack called everyone to the back deck. Daniel smiled at him from the grill on the other side of the deck.

"I just wanted to thank all of you for coming today. I know that my retirement came as a surprise to most of you ... well to all of you actually. I also wanted to make an announcement."

As he spoke, he casually walked over to Daniel, who was focused on the items on the grill.

"I wanted to let all of you know, that the real reason I retired, was this ..."

He grabbed Daniel unawares, and tilting him backward over his left thigh, kissed the hell out of him!

You could have heard a pin drop!

Then, as they regained their composure, people began to applaud. Shocked at the overt display of affection, something he was not used to, Daniel blushed crimson and excused himself. Daniel made his way to the kitchen and collapsed into a chair at the dining table. Jack followed him moments later.

Kneeling in front of Daniel and taking his hand, "Daniel?"

"I'm not used to that."

"I'm sorry. I was just so glad that I can finally show how much I love you that, I guess I went overboard. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm just ..."

"There is one other thing that I wanted to do today, though."

"I don't think that would be a good idea with all of our friends in the backyard."

"Not that. We'll save that for later." Jack kissed Daniel again and removed the ring that he had placed on Daniel's right hand. "I want this ring on the correct hand. Will you marry me?"

With that Jack placed the ring where it should have been all along.

"Yes, Jack. I will."

The two kissed again, to the applause of their friends who had been eavesdropping at the patio doors.

"I guess our next party will be a wedding reception."

"Works for me," smiled Daniel. "Let's have the wedding on March 17th." Daniel knew that the Irish holiday was treasured in Jack's family, as he was a full-blooded Irishman. "It's a Saturday this year, and only about 6 weeks from now. That should give us plenty of time to plan."

"You know me too well," he replied, "I was just going to say that."

<tbc?>

The End