Learning To Love You 2

Behind Blue Eyes

by Dr. McKay

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asd/drmckay/learn02.php
Summary: None

Rodneys POV

It had been three days since they'd been stuck in that room and now Rodney was hiding in his. The events of that day kept running through his head. Whenever he closed his eyes he could see Radeks face as he rushed out of the transporter claiming to feel unwell, the hurt in those blue eyes. It wasn't Radeks fault he'd left like he did, it was his own.

Rodney was confused. He'd never really thought about a man like that till he'd come to Atlantis. Scratch that, till he'd gone to Antarctica and met Radek. He didn't know why but he had felt an instant attraction to the man. Maybe it was the way Zelenka would challenge his ideas in a way that made him see other options. But why had he kissed him?

That confused him even more. He'd liked the kiss, not just because it'd been a long time since he'd kissed someone, but because it had felt right. Rodney shook his head. He hated how he was feeling, hated how confused he was. I wonder how Radek feels, he thought.

"Oh shit." He said out loud, realizing that he wasn't the only one who might be confused over that day. He ran out of his room, thankful it was night and most of the crew was asleep, and headed towards Radeks room

Radeks POV

Radek lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. Rodney had been avoiding him since they'd gotten back to the main part of Atlantis. More to the point he'd been avoiding everybody by shutting himself off in his room, but in doing that he was still avoiding Radek. Radek wondered if it was his fault for bringing his notebook with them on their trip. It wasn't his fault Rodney had gone through it and it wasn't his fault they'd kissed. Ok, so he had started it but Rodney hadn't stopped it so it wasn't his fault.

So why did he feel so bad? He wanted Rodney so badly for so long and he was afraid he'd blown any chance he had with him. Shouldn't have kissed him, he thought. No, it is not my fault. If he didn't like it he would have pushed me away and he didn’t. But why is he avoiding me?

Radek decided he couldn't just lie down anymore. He got up, turned on his laptop, and opened his music file. Scrolling through it he found an American song that he'd felt was appropriate to his feelings. Though he did not like the bands harder songs, he did enjoy their version of this particular song. He clicked on it and sat back as the slow melody filled his room.

No one know what it's like
to be the bad man
to be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

Radek took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Why did life have to be so confusing? He closed his eyes and allowed the music to surround him and fill him. The song was set on repeat and by the fourth time it started, Radek was half asleep. He was just about to lose himself to blissful dreams when he heard his door chime. This better be good, he thought as he opened the door, not expecting who was on the other side.

Author's Note: Feedback is always welcome. I love to know what people love or hate about my stories, whether or not I should add more and all that.