More Than I Should

by Dr. McKay

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asd/drmckay/morethan.php
Summary: Kinda randomness. Any pairing you want.

I love you more than I should. I shouldn't love you at all. It hurts so bad because I can't tell you how much you mean to me. I'm afraid of what will happen. I don't want to ruin our friendship, but there doesn't seem to be any way to avoid it.

If I tell you how I really feel, what would you way? Would you feel the same or be horrified?

I think of you and I want to cry. Sometimes I do. I cry because I broke the rules and fell in love when I shouldn't have. I fell in love with the thing I can not have. It's not just you, it's love itself.

I don't deserve it, but it is the one thing I search for. I would do anything, pay anything for it. I would give up my very life just to hear someone say I love you and mean it as much as I do.

I cry for all the little touches and gestures that I have to hold back when I'm with you. All the little things that would show my true feelings.

I want to say I love you to your face, not just in this blog. I want to hold you and pour out my heart. I want to bear my soul, to leave myself open and bleeding at your feet.

The past has left me broken, stitched together like a patchwork doll with pieces in the wrong place, pieces missing.

I want to stop this pain, these tears, but I can't. The only way would be to say goodbye, because deep down I know you don't feel the way I do.

You don't love me.

But I can't leave you, can't stop this thing I've gotten myself into. That would hurt worse than staying. I've become addicted to you.

I hate myself so much for how I feel. I traded the razor for you, my wrist for my heart.

For all the world I've never seen
Anything lovelier than you

Author's Note: Feedback is always welcome. I love to know what people love or hate about my stories, whether or not I should add more and all that.