Sacrifices

by Gigi Sinclair

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asg/gsinclair/sacrifices.php
Summary: Daniel thinks about Atlantis

If Daniel had been single, he would have gone to Atlantis in a heartbeat.

That was the first thought he had, when he learned about the Pegasus Galaxy and all the possibilities it held. His second thought, coming rapidly behind it, was when, exactly, had he started to think of himself as not single?

When Jack showed up in the Antarctic, Daniel was pleased to see him, but more because he had so much interesting new information to share than because it was Jack. They met with Elizabeth Weir and Rodney McKay and the other principal project members. Daniel stayed strictly professional, presenting the mission to General O'Neill and arguing his point like he'd been doing for years, before and after his "de-ascension" when he and Jack had realized there was more between them than just friendship. When they broke for the night, though, Daniel went back to his tiny bunk to find his roommate, a Swedish geneticist called Benssen, had gone and Jack's fleece jacket and pack were on the bed below Daniel's.

Jack himself arrived a moment later. He immediately pulled Daniel into a hug, pressing his lips against the side of Daniel's face. A little surprised at this wordless greeting, Daniel hugged him back, then Jack pulled away and said: "Weir wants to take John Sheppard along," as if they'd seen each other every day for months, instead of being apart for the last six weeks.

"So I heard," Daniel replied, as Jack pulled off his shirt and replaced it with another long-sleeved T-shirt from his pack. "Is he interested?"

"I'm going to tell him to seriously consider it." Jack's head appeared through the hole in the shirt and he looked pointedly at Daniel. "Seriously," he repeated.

"You can't force the guy, Jack." Daniel sat on the bottom bunk and put on a fresh pair of warm socks for bed. "This is a big decision." Just as big, Daniel thought, as the one he'd made when he'd chosen to stay on Abydos, never expecting to see Earth again.

"I know. And Sheppard knows he was lucky to get sent here. A lot of people thought he should have been dishonourably discharged." Jack sat beside him and took off his pants. Jack was wearing long underwear underneath, Daniel noticed. He took that off as well, the hairs on his thighs standing up in the chilly bunkroom, and it took a lot of effort for Daniel to remember they were in a semi-public room on a base full of military personnel. He dragged his eyes from Jack's crotch to his face.

"Why? Because he disobeyed some order in Afghanistan?" Daniel didn't know the details of Sheppard's incident, and he wasn't particularly interested. If Sheppard did choose to go on the mission and he was insubordinate, Daniel knew Weir would be able to handle it. And if she couldn't, whatever ranking military officer they chose to send along would.

"Yeah." Jack, still wearing nothing but the shirt, rummaged around in his bag. Daniel's throat felt dry. "And the reason he disobeyed it."

"What would that be?"

"His CO was going to leave a unit behind enemy lines. Sheppard didn't agree."

"Doesn't sound that dishonourable to me." Or to Jack, Daniel assumed. Jack had often butted heads with Maybourne and Hammond and whoever else over that kind of thing.

"The commander of the unit was Sheppard's lover." Jack pulled on a clean pair of long underwear and followed it up with sweatpants.

"How do you know that?" Daniel asked, relaxing a little.

"Everyone knows it, Daniel."

Daniel rolled his eyes, familiar with air force gossip and the accuracy, or not, thereof. "Just like 'everyone knows' Sam and Teal'c are an item?"

"No, Daniel. Just like 'everyone knows' you're a massive pain in the ass." He bumped his shoulder against Daniel's and stood up to unroll his sleeping bag. Daniel stood as well, heaving himself onto the upper bunk where his bag was already laid out.

"What happened to the unit?"

"Four of them made it out. One of them didn't."

"Sheppard's girlfriend?" Daniel assumed.

"Boyfriend," Jack corrected, with no particular emphasis or expression.

Daniel blinked. "Oh." He felt a sudden surge of sympathy for the man he'd only seen briefly, and who'd struck him as another arrogant officer with a head so big, it was a miracle he could squeeze it into a helmet.

"So, yeah. All things considered, it might be better if he went on this mission."

"Because if he stays here, his life's going to be miserable." It wasn't fair, but then Daniel had long since given up on the idea that anything was.

He took off his glasses and put them on the shelf beside his bunk. He closed his eyes, listening to Jack fuss with the sleeping bag below him. Then the lights went out and the bunks shifted as Jack got into bed.

Daniel was beginning to drift off when Jack said: "I'd have done it for you."

Daniel opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling. "What?"

"Disobeyed orders." Jack coughed a little. "I did, actually. But, you know, if it had ever come to that, I would have done more."

Daniel smiled. "I know, Jack."

"Good." Jack sounded uncomfortable. "So don't say I never did anything for you, OK?"

"I won't." Daniel thought of Atlantis, and all the amazing things Weir and McKay and probably Sheppard were going to see and he wouldn't. Because he'd be here, with Jack. "Don't you say it, either."

"Deal," Jack muttered, and a minute later, Daniel heard him snoring.

Well, Daniel thought as he closed his eyes again, he'd never liked oceans, anyway. And Rodney McKay would drive him crazy within a week.