Baby Bedlam

by The Huntress

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/ash/huntress/bbedlam.php
Summary: Stuck in a transport tube are one Athosian woman in labor and one (slightly) neurotic astrophysicist

"Don't touch it!" Zalenka stood in front of the table.

"What?" Calvin almost snarled, "Rodney is the only person on this base to understand Ancient technology?"

"No, you ass, but we don't even know what it does."

"Get out of the way, Zippy or I swear I'll...."

"You'll do what? Give it your best shot, *Calvin*. I have had it up to *here* with you!"

"Ya know," came John Sheppard's drawl, "I could sell tickets to this."

The two scientists froze, both turning to the Major, who was smirking.

"Radek," John nodded to Zalenka, "where is this artifact Rodney wanted me to touch?"

"You're *willing* to touch something?" Zalenka asked incredulously.

"For a Power bar," John snickered. "I ate my weekly rations already."

Zalenka turned to Kavanagh. "Give him one."

"No. You give him one."

"How about you each give me one?" John interrupted.

The other two looked at each other and forked them over.

John, in turn, went to the artifact, picked it up, shut his eyes, concentrated for one brief moment...and half the systems in Atlantis shorted out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rodney McKay hated the transport tubes. He would rather walk an extra thirty minutes then step into one. But when Zalenka advised him that Kavanagh was going to experiment on a new artifact that had been found on the mainland, Rodney had a near aneurysm and ran straight for a tube.

Joining him was Sana Aldred, a young Athosian woman who Rodney had met on more then a few occasions and who John described as a matchmaker. So far, she'd managed to hook up a dozen couples among both their peoples. She was also very pregnant and smiled as the doors closed.

"Rodney McKay, how are you today?"

"Fine, thank you and no, I still don't need a wife."

"Do not worry. I have given up on you."

"I'm ecstatic. I'm happy being single."

"A single what?"

Rodney sighed, fighting the wise-ass remarks that came to his head. He had to keep reminding himself that the Athosians were not familiar with sarcasm and had been lectured on this point by Teyla, after she beat the crap out of him during a sparring session that John had set up. "It means I like not having a wife."

She continued to smile. "I am here to see Doctor Beckett, who wishes to ensure all is well. And I am also here to see Teyla, for she is to be guardian of my child."

"Guardian?"

"If Tilar or I should die, she will take care of the child as her own."

"We call that a Godparent," Rodney explained. He opened his mouth to add to that, when the tube lurched. "Oh great. What the hell happened now?" He got on the com, but his only response was dead air. Turning around, he smiled. "It's okay. We're just...stuck."

"You will repair it, Rodney?"

Her tone was so positive that Rodney couldn't help the smug smile. "Of course I can. No problem."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Look what you did!" Kavanagh said, finding the nearest lantern in the darkness.

"Oops?" John shrugged.

"When Rodney finds out...." Zalenka started.

"He'll yell and scream and lecture me," John snickered.

"MAJOR SHEPPARD, WE HAVE A SITUATION," Weir's voice boomed over the com.

"Yeah," he replied calmly, "I know. Give me a minute to...." Before he could finish, the lights came back on. "All fixed."

A few minutes later, Peter's voice came over. "We still have a problem with some of the systems."

"Which ones?" John asked.

"Half the com systems are down and the transport tubes aren't working."

John knew what that meant. He was slowly becoming 'Mister Fix-It' when it came to Atlantis' internal systems. If it was Earth technology, they had people for that; but Ancient technology was another story. Even though there were techs familiar with Ancient mechanisms, everything 'Atlantean' *responded* to John; he would look at something and most of the time he knew how to repair it. That had been known to piss Rodney off on more then one occasion. Of course Rodney was also known to gloat when John *couldn't* make a repair.

"Okay, I'm on it." Sighing, John turned to the two scientists. "How about we *not* tell Rodney about this?"

"Return the Power bars, Major," Zalenka grinned, "and we'll consider it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It should be moving," Rodney sighed, as he attempted to rewire the tube. "Dammit!" He was about ready to pull the entire panel out.

"Be calm, Rodney. All works itself out in time."

"Calm, sure. You don't have claustrophobia," Rodney took a deep breath. Logic insisted there was plenty of air, but Rodney was not always logical.

"I do not understand that word."

"It means I hate enclosed spaces." He sat down beside her.

"You fly on a..." she searched for the word, "...PuddleJumper. Is that not enclosed?"

"That's different. I'm always with John...Major Sheppard." He pulled out a Power bar, unwrapped it, and was about to bite into it but paused. He turned and gave it to Sana. "You need this more then I do."

"You feel safe with Major Sheppard," she said with a smile.

"Yeah, I do," he answered with a genuine grin, which quickly faded as she returned it.

"Perhaps I have been trying to match you up with the wrong...gender. Or perhaps it is the person themselves?"

"Wouldn't matter," Rodney almost bemoaned. "John Sheppard likes women." And why was Rodney telling her this anyway? It's not like it was any of her business.

"Do not fear, Rodney. You have been a good friend to me and my people. I shall speak of this to no one. You have my word."

"Thanks." He stood up and went back to work on the panel. "Give me a few more minutes...."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sana had just left you, Doctor Beckett, and was on her way to Teyla's room," Tilar smiled. "Before I went to your feeding area I escorted her to one of the travel tubes."

"Uh, she may be stuck in them," John winced, ready for the man to start screaming.

"Ah, she will be fine then. She entered with Rodney McKay."

"Rodney? Rodney's in there with her?" Carson asked, eyes wide. "Tilar, she is due any day now. I was going to suggest she stay here on Atlantis until the birth."

"Should she go into the birthing stage," Tilar said pleasantly, "is it not good that he is a doctor as well? He can assist her if need be."

"Sure, that's a good thing," John said quickly. "Right Carson?"

"Uh, of course, Major. Tilar, why don't you go with Nan and she'll give you a few lessons in...taking care of an infant."

"Certainly Doctor Beckett. I am most interested in what infants eat."

He walked off and Carson and John looked at each other.

"Oh God Carson, how do you think Rodney will handle this?"

"Rodney?" Carson chuckled. "I have absolutely no friggin' idea. All I can suggest Major, is that you get things repaired ASAP."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sana looked down at the floor. "Doctor McKay, I have a problem."

"Don't we all," Rodney muttered.

"My liquid has fallen."

"Huh?" Rodney stared at the floor. "Oh no! Your water broke."

"I will be with child soon."

"NONONONO!" Rodney began to scream. "You can't do this!"

"Then I shall not," she said calmly.

"Good, that's good. No babies in the transport tube. It's a rule."

"I see. Then I shall follow the rules."

"Yeah, you do that," Rodney replied, wondering just what Calvin was doing with that artifact at the moment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two hours later John had managed to repair everything *but* the transport tubes. "Carson, how far along was Sana?"

"She's due any day now, that's why I wanted her here. As I explained to Tilar, in case of any problems...."

"What problems?" John asked.

"None that I can tell. But the Athosian infant mortality rate is rather high and I don't know if it's because of their lack of medical facilities."

"But she could go into labor at any moment, right?"

"Yes, Major."

"Peachy," John muttered and went back to work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If the tubes weren't soundproofed, all of Atlantis would have heard the blood-curdling cry.

Rodney McKay heard it and covered his ears. "Please stop screaming," he said, voice as calm as he could muster.

"I can't help it," Sana whimpered. "It hurts!"

"You have to wait...yeah, wait. They'll get things working again. Just...stop."

"AAAAHHHHHHH!"

"Aw, geez, they didn't cover this in training...*any* kind of training!" He began to bang on the com. "WOMAN IN LABOR HERE!"

"Rodney! I hate you!"

"You don't even know me. I'm a personable kind of guy."

"I hate you and my husband and...ALL MEN!" Sana grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him closer. "DO SOMETHING!"

Rodney was wheezing; the hold she had on his shirt was strangling him. "Uh, breathe, in and out...that's what they do in the movies." He mimicked some of the things he had seen in those films but it didn't seem to help. Then she smacked him. "OWWW!"

"I should not have agreed on a child," Sana growled. "UUUNNNNGGGGHHH!"

"What does that mean?" Rodney asked innocently.

Sana grabbed him by the shirt again, pulling him so they were nose to nose. "It means that it HURTS!" Pushing him back, she banged his head into the wall. Taking a deep breath, she screamed "Here comes another ONE!!"

Rodney wasn't fast enough and was grabbed by the shirt again, having to use a good chunk of his strength to pry her fingers loose. "Please...stop...doing that." He caught his breath again.

"I'm sorry, Rodney," Sana squeaked out, her eyes flooding with tears.

"No, please don't do that either." Rodney sat next to her, going through his pockets, knowing he had tissues somewhere.

"What's that?" Sana asked. "It's green."

"Tissues," Rodney handed her one. "You wipe your eyes and blow your nose with them."

Sana wiped her tears away. "Can I have another one?"

"Have the whole pack. I have lots of them. A lifetime supply."

She blew her nose and hiccuped. "I want my mother." The tears started again.

"I want a sandwich," Rodney muttered and was quickly grabbed by the collar again.

"You're thinking of *food*?!"

"Can't breathe...." Rodney choked out, gasping for air as he was released. "You have *really* got to stop that."

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

'I'm going to be deaf before she strangles me,' Rodney sighed to himself. 'And when I find out who caused this power failure....'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Okay," John nodded after an hour. "I've got it."

Tilar and Teyla paced side by side, both worried about Sana. Carson stood by with some of his staff in case she had gone into labor. Kavanagh and Zalenka just lurked about, eating Power bars while smirking at the Major.

John popped the last crystal into place and grinned...the grin promptly faded as a different crystal burned out. "It should have worked." He was quickly lifted to his feet, facing a snarling Tilar, who was a good six inches taller and forty pounds heavier then he was. "Sorry?"

John saw the fist coming at him...then nothing.

Carson glanced down nonchalantly as John hit the floor, then moved his eyes up to Tilar. "Nice to see you're taking this calmly."

"I didn't mean to do that," Tilar shrugged.

"Yes, well...." Carson knelt down and attempted to bring the Major to consciousness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sana had gone into active labor rapidly and Rodney was at his wit's end.

"OWWW!" She'd hit him again. "Why do you keep hitting me?"

"BECAUSE!"

"Oh, okay. That's cool."

"Teyla says you are the SMARTEST MAN she has ever known! FIX THIS!"

"Teyla said that?"

"FIX IT!"

"What am I supposed to do?"

"PLEASE RODNEY! MAKE IT STOP! AHHHHHHHH!!"

"Try the breathing again. Hee-hee-hee. In and out."

"You've done this before," she said, suddenly calm again.

"Uh, no, but I used to watch 'Emergency'. They delivered lots of babies."

She attempted the breathing, but began to scream again. "IT'S COMING!"

"No, no it's not! Stop it from coming, okay. Just, tell it it's not time yet."

"RODNEEEYYYYY!"

'Stay calm McKay,' Rodney thought. 'You have an IQ of two hundred plus. Deal with it.' He knelt down, taking her hand in his, nearly screaming himself; her grip was like a vise. She swung out with her foot, kicking him between the legs.

"GET IT OUT!" Sana leaned back and much as Rodney hated to, he looked between her legs.

He nearly fainted right then and there. "Please Sana, don't do this now. I don't know what to do."

She grabbed him by the shirt again. "What do you mean you don't know what to do?" She slammed his head into the wall again.

He grabbed his head, wincing. "I've never delivered a baby before."

"I can't...OHHHHSHIIIITTTT!"

Rodney raised an eyebrow at that phrase, then figured she'd been hanging around his own people too long.

"RODNEY!"

Rodney knelt down, taking deep breaths. 'All right McKay, you've faced down Wraith, flown a 'Jumper and eaten Elizabeth's cooking. How hard can *this* be?' He pushed back her dress, swallowing hard. 'Oh God.' He was doing his best to stay calm, more afraid then anything that she was going to hit him again. But as the baby began to make its appearance he was panicking again. "Uh, push?" he suggested.

Sana grabbed him by the hair, pulling his head up, glaring at him. "PUSH?! YOU PUSH! IT'S LIKE PULLING A MAGA FRUIT FROM YOUR NOSTRILS!" She grunted from another contraction, leaning back.

Rodney swallowed hard; he'd seen the size of those fruits. He also got a good look at what was coming...she was crowning...the baby was on its way whether he wanted it to or not.

"Rodney, help me...." she whispered calmly, reaching out and grabbing him by the hair again. "Do something or I am going to maim you." Her head fell back and she screamed.

'Somebody help *me*,' Rodney silently begged of no one in particular. He glanced down again. "I can see...it's coming, that's for sure." And then it was over and he had a small bundle in his arms. His hands moved on autopilot, wiping away the mucus from its mouth, hearing a tiny intake of breath.

And for the first time in his life Rodney McKay was genuinely awestruck.

"My son is fine?" Sana asked, catching her breath.

Rodney took a closer look. "Uh, Sana, this is most definitely *not* a boy." His eyes caught sight of the umbilical cord, and he decided in no uncertain terms that there was no way he was cutting it, not unless he *had* to. Shifting around, he placed the baby on Sana's chest, covering them with his jacket. "She's a girl."

"Her name will be Rodney."

"Uh, no, Rodney is a boy's name." Rodney sat against the wall.

"I do not care," Sana said firmly.

The doors suddenly opened.

"What the hell....?" John wondered allowed.

There was Sana, looking worn out yet happy with a bundle in her arms and beside her sat Rodney McKay, looking paler then usual.

"It's a girl," he said softly, turning to Sana. "And you *can't* call her Rodney." He then passed out himself.

"Poor dear," Sana sighed, "it was too much for him."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The two were both moved to the infirmary, and when Rodney woke up he saw John sitting in a chair beside the bed.

"Major?"

"Hey, Rodney. How ya doin'?"

"I'm not sure." He sat up, swinging his legs over the bed.

"Hello, Rodney," came a sweet female voice. Rodney turned, facing Sana, who was sitting up, holding the baby. "Would you like to hold her?"

"I don't know. I've never held a baby. I'll drop her," Rodney nodded.

"You helped birth her Rodney. You held her then without fear." Sana walked to his bedside, sitting beside him, holding the baby out.

"She looks...different." He reluctantly took her into his arms, staring at her, getting a gurgle. "Was that a good sound or a bad one?"

"I think she likes you Rodney," John told him. "That's because she doesn't know you yet."

"Very funny, Major," Rodney replied, a smile on his face, still staring at the baby.

"You will name her, Rodney McKay," Sana insisted. "If you refuse, I shall call her Rodney."

"A girl named Rodney," John chided, "not a pretty sound."

"Riley," Rodney said.

"What?" Sana asked.

"Riley, her name."

"Where'd you come up with that?" John asked.

"My Grandmother," Rodney shrugged.

"It is a lovely name, Rodney," Sana nodded in agreement.

"You will be her guardian, should something happen to Sana and I?" Tilar asked.

Rodney opened his mouth to politely decline, but John spoke first. "Of course he will, Tilar. Rodney just *loves* children." John smirked at Rodney, then turned back to Sana and Tilar, face neutral. "But keep Teyla also...as a back-up."

"This is good," Sana agreed. "We will have the naming ceremony on the mainland."

"Doctor Beckett says Sana may go home tomorrow," Tilar smiled, "and the celebration will begin then."

"And I'll fly you home myself," John added. "Me and Ford, we'll jury rig a baby seat."

"You will come also Rodney?" Sana gave him a knowing smile. "It will be a...safe ride, I am sure."

Rodney handed Riley back, getting to his feet. "Yeah, I wouldn't miss it for the world. And since the manic Scot is nowhere to be seen, I shall discharge myself. I will see you later." Rodney quickly disappeared from the infirmary.

"He hates this place," John grinned. "And I too will see you later."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rodney was in his room, stretched out on the bed, reading 'War and Peace'; everyone *but* John had read it. He heard the door chime, ignoring it; he was *really* into the book and did *not* want to be interrupted.

"Rodney, open the door!"

Rodney smiled, screaming back, "Open it yourself. Or did you forget how to use the gene?"

"You keep telling me to wait for permission to come in and when I finally do, you tell me to open it myself." John came in with a tray, placing it on the table. "I didn't see you in the mess and I wanted to make sure you ate. That must have been some experience."

"Women in labor are scary. I think her strength magnified twenty-fold," Rodney pouted. "She banged my head against the wall."

"Want me to kiss it and make it better?" John teased.

"Would you?" Rodney couldn't help the laugh, turning on his side, putting the book down and propping his head up with his fist.

"You don't do enough of that."

"What?"

"Laugh, Rodney. You don't laugh enough. In fact, I don't think I've ever heard you genuinely laugh before."

Rodney suddenly grew serious. "Did I do good, John?"

John studied his face; Rodney wanted *genuine* praise, not his usual style. Normally Rodney wanted a few words to stroke his ego, which John always did with good humor and a bit of teasing, bringing Rodney back to reality. But this...this was different. "You did better then good, Rodney. Thanks to you, we have another addition to our little family here on Atlantis. And Riley is her name and it's a pretty name." He couldn't help himself. John sat down, leaned in and placed a chaste kiss to Rodney's lips. "I love you, Rodney McKay," he whispered, "and I'm so proud of you."

Rodney sat up, facing him. "Really?"

"Of course, really." John placed his palms on Rodney's face. "I've loved you since the day you let me shoot you. I just didn't have the guts to say anything...strange, but true."

"No, not that," Rodney murmured, arms wrapping around John, holding tight and getting a hug in return. "I *already* knew you loved me. The other thing."

"You *knew*? We're going to discuss that...shortly. And I have never been so proud of you. You delivered a baby. A baby, Rodney. And you kept it together. It's what a hero would do." It didn't take long for John to feel the wetness on Rodney's face. "Why are you crying?"

"Nobody ever said they were proud of me...." Rodney's voice trailed off with a couple of light hiccups.

"Your parents never...." John shut up quickly, knowing he'd spoken rashly. He was more then aware of the *total* lack of relationship Rodney had with them and the distant one he had with his sister. Rodney had confessed to him one drunken night that until Atlantis, he had never had a 'true' family before. "I *am* proud of you. Everybody is proud of you...even Calvin couldn't find anything bad to say." When he saw Rodney smile, he smiled back. "Now, you knew I loved you but you didn't say anything. Why?"

"Major, I've never contemplated a relationship with a man before and it really scared the shit out of me!"

"Well at least we have something in common," John snickered.

Rodney laughed slightly. "You've never...."

"I discovered I wanted a man at thirty-seven."

"You want me?" Rodney sniffled a bit.

"Yes." John kissed him on the cheek, nibbling along his jawline, kissing up the other side, to Rodney's ear. He sucked on the lobe, getting a soft moan, which he somehow knew would be the first of many. "Hot spot, Rodney?"

"Yeah," Rodney replied with a soft sigh.

"What should I do?" John whispered, blowing in Rodney's ear.

"Oh, you can keep doing *that*," Rodney squeaked out, "or *that*...." Rodney's breath hitched as he was groped.

"First you eat," John insisted, taking one last kiss and dragging the table and food tray over.

"Two plates, John?"

"Rodney, tonight, in honor of your heroic act, I have a healthy fruit tray, filled with the sweetest fruits the mainland has to offer." John pulled the top plate off one, revealing small chunks of fruit in various colors. "And in plate number two, we have...." John revealed chocolate. Melted chocolate.

"Major, that looks like...."

"It is, Rodney. It's the last of my chocolate rations." John lowered his eyes, cheeks turning a slight shade of pink. "I thought you'd like it with the fruit."

"I finished mine ages ago," Rodney whispered, almost to himself.

"I was saving them for a special occasion and I can't think of a better one then this."

Rodney felt his eyes moistening, wiping them with his shirtsleeve.

"Enough with the crying," John admonished softly, wiping the tears himself. "I didn't plan on asking this Rodney, but...can I feed you?" At Rodney's nod, John picked up what appeared to be a purple berry, dipping it lightly in the chocolate, placing it at Rodney's lips. Rodney reached out to bite it and John felt his dick twitch. Four pieces of fruit later, John's pants felt three sizes too small. And by the time they reached the last piece, John had opened the top button of his pants to get a bit of relief.

The fruit was gone, yet some chocolate remained. John wiped his finger along the plate, bringing it to Rodney's mouth, wiping the sweet taste over his lips.

Rodney sucked John's finger in, licking the chocolate off, feeling somewhat depraved and totally aroused. And when John's other hand began to massage his dick at the same time, Rodney was convinced he was going to come in his pants.

John kicked off his sneakers, one leg shifting over Rodney, sitting in his lap, facing him. "I want you naked." He pulled at the hem of Rodney's shirt, lifting it, attacking a nipple with his mouth, which sent Rodney into a screaming frenzy. "Sensitive there, are we?" John's lips attacked the other nipple, he and Rodney removing Rodney's shirt. John shifted back a bit, pulling Rodney flat on his back, torturing Rodney's chest, hearing more shouts.

Cries of "YES!" and "OH GOD!" and "PLEASE MORE!" filled the room, as Rodney's body lost complete control, bucking against John, thrusting upwards, needing friction for his swollen dick. His hands moved on their own, pushing John's head down his body, John leaving a trail of wet kisses as he moved. Rodney's eyes drifted shut, he was greying out from the sensations, but came back as he felt the cool breeze on his legs, wondering when John had removed his pants...and briefs. He felt bare skin touching his own and realized John was naked also. He opened his mouth to say something about that, but what came out was a loud moan...John's dick was rubbing against his.

"Rodney...want you...need you...so fucking badly...." Each declaration was followed by a kiss or a bite, John slowly making his way down Rodney's body. Sucking Rodney's neck, kisses along his shoulder, down his arm, across his chest, to Rodney's nipples again. One was softly laved, almost made love to, John's tongue carefully circling the nub, blowing on it.

This made Rodney moan.

John kissed his way to the other nipple, suckling hard, nipping, pulling it with his teeth.

This made Rodney scream.

John didn't know which sound he enjoyed hearing the most, so he tortured Rodney's nipples some more, making them red and raw, grinding his dick against Rodney's, moaning softly.

"So beautiful, John," Rodney sighed deeply, stroking John's hair, almost petting him. Without realizing, Rodney slowly pushed John's head down his body, John allowing it, leaving a trail of kisses behind him, spreading Rodney's legs, settling between them.

Shifting to his knees, John stared into Rodney's blue eyes, which seemed much brighter at the moment. He opened his mouth, ready to declare himself again, but instead he found himself giggling. "I haven't a fucking clue of what to do now."

"And I do?" Rodney asked, voice cracking. "You have just given me the hard-on to end all hard-on's and *now* you decide you don't know what to do?"

"No," John clearly blushed. "I mean...I know what I *want* to do...."

"Then do it, John...before I change my mind."

John held Rodney's dick between his palms, massaging it slowly with broad upswept strokes. "I want to learn what you like, what makes you moan, makes you scream. I want to discover each of your hot spots and use them to my advantage, which would be to yours as well, trust me on that. I want you to use me, do whatever you want to me. Tonight Rodney...tonight is for you."

"No, John, you're wrong. Tonight is for *us*."

"I want...." John shifted back a bit, leaning down, tongue softly swiping the tip of Rodney's dick. He sucked, drawing out the first drops of precome, taking a moment to lick his lips, tasting his new lover. He liked what he tasted, sucking on the head, hearing one of Rodney's breathy moans. The sounds were making John's cock even harder and he shut his mind down, allowing his body to take over...and take over it did.

John's hands glided up Rodney's torso to tease his nipples, swallowing a bit more as he twisted them.

Rodney stroked the back of John's head, carding his fingers in John's hair, guiding John's mouth further down while he slowly thrust up. God, Rodney was so turned on...this was pure ecstasy, he was sure of it. It took a moment for him to realize what he was doing and he released his hold, easing his hands away, finally making his vocal cords work.

John brought his head up, unsure if his hearing was screwy. "What was that, Rodney?"

"I want you inside me, John."

"Can't I just keep doing this?" John almost whined, fingers caressing Rodney's dick, his tongue swirling around the head. "It's fun." He kissed the tip and blew on it. "And judging by the moaning, I think I'm good at it."

"Oh yeah," Rodney almost sighed, "damn good."

"Let me finish you," John moaned himself and swallowed Rodney's dick halfway. Bringing his head up a bit, he swallowed again, keeping his breathing even, taking Rodney's length all the way, feeling the tip tickle the back of his throat. His reflex action was to swallow and that wrenched a scream out of Rodney. Once again his hands wandered on their own, first urging Rodney to spread his legs further, one resting on Rodney's balls, caressing them, the other teasing Rodney's hole.

"John...oh God...I'm going to come...."

John raised his head, Rodney's cock in his fist, jerking him hard. "Yeah...do it Rodney...wanna watch you...."

Rodney's whole body arched, letting go, feeling his release, so different then in times past. He had to forcibly keep conscious; that was a new post-orgasm feeling. He never felt like passing out before. But he knew what he wanted and he wasn't going to let it go. Taking John's hand, guiding it to his ass, he rubbed John's come soaked fingers back and forth along his hole. "Inside me, John."

John hesitated, hand stilling. And then he made what he would later consider the biggest mistake of his life...he glanced up, meeting Rodney's eyes, the look in John's own giving away his most well-guarded secret.

John Sheppard would never refuse Rodney McKay anything.

And Rodney now knew it.

"I am so fucked," John muttered.

"Yes, you are." Rodney actually leered. "And I would like to be also...although for a different reason." Wrapping his hand around his own dick, Rodney stroked himself a few times, gathering the last of his orgasm on his fingers, smoothing the come along John's erection. "Touch me." He pushed one of John's fingers inside himself, meeting John's eyes, bearing down, feeling so good. "Two John...."

John complied, sliding his finger out, easing two in, Rodney's knees coming up on autopilot. John went on instinct himself, shoving his fingers deeper....

"OHJESUSFUCKJOHNOHGOD!"

"I think that's what they call the prostate," John grinned.

"Again...do it again, John!" Rodney clearly begged.

John once again obeyed, yet closed his eyes, concentrating on Rodney's muscles squeezing tight around his fingers. This was a wet dream come to life and he was getting dizzy, senses overwhelmed. He pulled his fingers from the heat, cock self-guiding, resting against Rodney's hole. "Rodney?"

"Do it, John...love me...."

John's dick surged forward on it's own, head popping inside, mouth dropping open, heart skipping a beat...he had just reached Nirvana, he was certain. He looked up, seeing the wonder in Rodney's eyes, unable to contain his smile. "How does it feel?"

Rodney didn't say a word, laying his head back, closing his eyes, arching his body slightly to draw John deeper.

John had his answer, sliding further in, Rodney opening for him with no resistance, no fear. "God Rodney, I'm inside you. You're so tight around my dick...so hot and tight and you are so fucking beautiful and I love you...." John rolled his hips, withdrawing a bit, one hand finding it's way back to Rodney's nipple, pinching it at the same moment he thrust deeper, changing his angle a bit.

Rodney responded by howling like a banshee, writhing under John, moaning louder, hands gripping John's shoulders, trying his damndest to draw John deeper still.

John shifted position a bit, lifting Rodney's legs over his shoulders, allowing him to watch his dick slide in and out, kisses and bites along Rodney's legs, hearing Rodney scream for more. His gentle glides became merciless pounding, wanting to fuck his way inside, to take possession. Leaning down, he sucked Rodney's inner thigh, biting a bit, leaving a mark. *His* mark. God, John felt like an animal in heat, actually growling, meeting Rodney's eyes again, seeing the lust.

Rodney took hold of his own dick, stroking himself hard in synch with John's movements, coming again, watching John bend his head a bit to catch some on his tongue, licking his lips with Rodney's seed.

"Coming Rodney...coming inside you...oh yeah...." John's head fell back as he came, thrusting deep, filling Rodney's ass with his come, a final marking of sorts.

Rodney felt it, his prostate touched one last time, eyes rolling back, his whole world fading to black....

"Damn, I'm good," John smirked, gentling himself from Rodney, giving Rodney's dick a kiss. He watched it twitch and swell a bit, wondering how many times Rodney could get it up in a single night. He wet a cloth, returning to the bed, gently cleaning his lover, who was starting to come to.

"Welcome back, big guy," John smiled, kissing his lover softly. "I never had anyone faint on me before."

"I saw stars, John," Rodney told him with a stupid grin. "That was amazing. *Big Bang* amazing." The adrenaline rush was wearing off and Rodney winced as John wiped the cloth along his ass.

"Rodney, what's the matter?"

"Uh, a bit sore here, that's all."

"I'll call Carson," John sat up, ready to hit the com.

Rodney pulled him back down. "No, not *that* sore. And it's a good kind of sore."

"Did I hurt you?"

"Never, John." Rodney kissed him, snuggling close again.

John tilted Rodney's head up, "Next time you top," stealing a quick kiss, laying Rodney's head upon his chest again.

"You'd let me do that?" Rodney asked, eyes wide as saucers.

"Of course I would," John stroked Rodney's hair.

"I don't know," Rodney grinned. "I liked being on the bottom."

"We'll discuss it another time." John shut off the lights.

"Love you, John."

"Sweet dreams, McKay," John murmured, placing one last kiss to the top of Rodney's head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some Months Later....

Teyla had agreed to watch little Riley on Atlantis for the evening, so Sana and Tilar could spend some time alone together; but then Ford got sick from Weir's latest dinner attempt and Teyla felt she had to take care of him. So she asked Rodney to babysit for her and of course he refused. And Teyla happily ignored him, moving Riley's things to Rodney's room while he stood there mouth agape, followed by Riley herself, thrust into Rodney's arms with a smile from Teyla as she left to take care of Aiden.

So there Rodney McKay stood with a baby in his arms, a baby that was smiling and blowing rasberries at him. He looked around as if to be sure there was nobody else in the room, leaned down and whispered, "Oochie-coochie-coo," secretly delighted when he got another smile. "I still don't like kids, but for you I'll make an exception." He sat down at the table, opening the laptop, Riley in his lap. "Okay, Riley, I have to work on the shield modulations." He began to explain everything to her from the shield to the 'Gate and she sat there quietly....

John came to see him some time later and was greeted to a sight he never thought he'd see. There was the 'I hate kids, they're annoying' astrophysicist sleeping soundly...with one arm holding a baby on his chest. He moved a bit closer, raising the lights ever so slightly with a thought, smiling as he saw Riley's tiny hands gripping Rodney's shirt. Kneeling down, he pressed his lips upon Rodney's cheek. "Should I be jealous?"

"Riley didn't like the crib," Rodney murmured. "She wouldn't sleep in it and she wouldn't stop crying, and I was tired, so I brought her here and she went to sleep. And if you wake her up John, I will kill you slowly and painfully."

"Even half asleep you can babble with the best of them," John snickered. "I'll go sleep in my quarters. And after we take Riley home in the morning, I'll give you another flying lesson." He had taken three steps away when he heard Riley gurgle...another ten seconds and he smelled it.

"Rodney," John asked warily, "have you changed her diaper since she got here?"

"Uh, no," Rodney answered, peeking in the diaper. "Oh my God." He glanced up at John. "All she had was milk."

"She's been here four hours," John admonished, taking her from Rodney and peeking himself. "Does she have spare clothes?"

Rodney silently nodded and opened the bag Sana had left.

John just snatched it, going to the washroom with Riley, laying her on a towel and undoing the diaper. "What have you been eating, Riley? Your crap is green and orange. Have you been eating MRE's? No? Did Rodney give you a Power bar?" He smiled at her as he dumped the waste in the toilet. "We need to make Pampers," he cracked, turning on the water and wetting a cloth, cleaning her carefully. "Did you know that football is a great game? Well, it is." He turned to Rodney, then back to Riley. "But hockey, now that's a sport that sucks." He took out a fresh diaper, getting it on quickly and efficiently. "I had a cousin who didn't believe in disposable diapers. I learned to do this when I babysat." He pulled a shirt over her head. "There, all clean now." He stood up, facing Rodney. "Does she have food?"

Rodney was speechless and just nodded to the table.

John made a face at Riley, getting a grin in return. "I see you have some bottles over there. Ford did a good job in making them, didn't he? Ready to eat?" John sat down, picking one up. "When you get bigger, you're going to drink from a cup." He stuck the bottle in her mouth. "Wait'll you get your first taste of MRE's. I hope you like chicken, because that's what they all taste like." Halfway through the bottle, John stopped and burped her like an expert. "Now that was good, Riley, and when you get bigger, I'll teach you how to drink beer and belch correctly." He went back to feeding her, putting her down in her crib gently as she fell asleep. "You ever want a kid, Rodney?"

Rodney stood beside him. "I could lie and say no, but...there was a time I would have enjoyed kids." He paused, studying John. "You were...babbling yourself while you fed her. I don't think I've *ever* heard you talk so much at one time."

"It's called being social," John snickered. "Not that *you* would understand that. Now let's go to bed."

"John, there's a baby in the room."

"I said bed, meaning sleep."

The two men lay down, entwined in each other's arms, drifting off, when Riley began to cry.

"That's what I've been going through," Rodney groaned. "She doesn't stop."

John took her out of the crib and placed her on Rodney's chest. She curled her fingers in his shirt, snuggled close as his arm held her and went back sleep.

"I'll see you in the morning," John kissed him on the cheek. "And maybe I should be jealous."

"I don't think so," Rodney grinned. "You're much prettier."

"Thanks, Rodney. I love you too."

FIN