In The Eye Of The Beholder

by The Huntress

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/ash/huntress/beholder.php
Summary: Everybody has to have a first time

It was late and John was prowling the corridors, suffering from yet another bout of insomnia. He'd tried counting sheep, counting Wraith, counting the marks on the walls, but absolutely nothing helped.

So he prowled.

God, it had been so difficult these past few months.

First, Marshall Sumner had lost his life. John had taken it hard. Not because he'd shot him, he knew the Colonel would have understood, even agreed with him. And no, he hadn't liked Sumner and Sumner hadn't liked him, but John knew, he just knew that over time they would have become friends. He'd nearly started off by teasing the Colonel, telling him how he reminded John of that new guy on 'The X-Files'. Now he would never get the chance.

There was the relocation of Teyla and her people to Atlantis. He'd screwed that up also. Because of him the Wraith were awakened and the Athosians were now without their home.

Oh and then there was Rodney McKay. Now he knew what Jack O'Neill had meant when he explained to John that geeks could drive you mad when you were in close quarters. Rodney had so gotten on his nerves in the beginning, that when he had had that force shield around him and was testing it out, John gleefully shot him.

Why was it then, that every time he wandered the corridors at night, he found himself outside Rodney's quarters? The man who resided within was still nothing but a nuisance, a pain-in-the-ass. He had a big mouth and an even bigger ego. But he was also growing on John and not in a bad way. John had actually found himself genuinely laughing at one of Rodney's bad jokes recently and the two men had had more then one argument about which was better, the USA or Canada.

But tonight, tonight he was going to go in and discover just what it was Rodney did late at night. Once again he stood outside the door and once again he sighed and turned around, ready to wander some more, maybe go to the makeshift commissary and see what type of concoction Elizabeth was trying to cook tonight. He nodded in agreement with himself, ready to face the possibility of botulism or worse, the runs, until he heard the voices start shouting. Neither sounded like Rodney, but the shouting was followed by a crash and he charged into the room ready for a fight. Looking around like a wild man, his eyes met Rodney's...and the sounds of the shouting. Feeling like ten kinds of fool, his mouth opened and shut, then opened and shut again.

"Major?" Rodney sounded annoyed.

John just gaped at the DVD Rodney was watching. "Friday the Thirteenth?" A nod. "Part eight right? Where Jason goes to New York?"

There was clear surprise in Rodney's voice. "You know this movie?"

"Obviously," John answered smugly, as Rodney's mouth imitated his. "What?"

"Want to watch with me?" Rodney asked, then quickly answered himself. "No, you have more important things to do."

"Actually," John sat down next to him, "it's my favorite sequel."

Rodney opened his mouth again, shrugged and went back to the movie.

Twenty minutes later the two men were both shouting at the screen.

"NO, DON'T GO IN THERE!"

"YOU FOOL. DIDN'T YOU SEE HIM GO IN BEFORE YOU!"

"What a moron," Rodney chuckled. "Haven't these people ever seen a horror movie before?"

"Nah," John laughed with him. "All they watch are those awful teen comedies."

"Now those are scary," Rodney told him. "Hilary Duff is evil personified."

"How many of these movies did you bring with you?"

"All of them," Rodney grinned, "along with the Halloween movies, Freddy, Alien and the first two seasons of Wormhole X-Treme."

"I never figured you for a slasher kind of guy," John stared at the screen. "Oooh, remember how this guy gets it?" He relaxed, stretching out, sneaking glances at Rodney, who was watching the movie intently. 'Maybe Rodney likes to cuddle.' That thought stopped him short, but after a few minutes it began to sound like a good idea. John certainly liked cuddling and for some reason he wanted to do it with Rodney. Why, he had no idea.

No idea if Rodney liked to cuddle. No idea if Rodney...liked men. He'd certainly never showed any interest. But John was about to find out. Working on autopilot, his arm reaching out and around Rodney's shoulder.

It felt good, perfect, natural.

Rodney also reacted automatically, laying his head on John's shoulder. It took a moment for him to realize what he was doing and he quickly lifted his head, then felt it pushed down again.

"You don't have to move," John said softly, fingers stroking Rodney's neck. "I like it."

"Y-y-you do?"

"I do. Did you know your skin is soft?"

Rodney turned his head, looking up at John. "Uh, didn't Elizabeth warn you about smoking pot?"

"Yes, she did," John grimaced. "Right before she dumped the last of it in the ocean."

"The tequila?"

"It followed the weed."

"Then you're...."

"Stone cold sober." John's fingers began to tickle Rodney's ear, getting a giggle from the other man. "You like that?"

"NO!"

"Then why are you giggling?"

"It tickles, that's why. And why are you doing it?"

"Because I can." John's palm rested against Rodney's cheek. "Can I kiss you?"

"No, you can't kiss me."

John grinned at him, "Thanks," and leaned in before Rodney could stop him. But he kissed empty space as Rodney jumped up, backing away. John stood, walking towards him as Rodney backed further away, finally hitting the wall. One hand braced against the wall, the other stroked Rodney's cheek, cupping his chin. "Why can't I kiss you?"

"Don't ask, don't tell?" Rodney squeaked.

"A bzillion miles from anybody who gives a shit."

"Maybe I don't like men."

John glanced down at Rodney's crotch. "Uh-uh-uh. Your mouth says no, but your, er, dick says yes."

Rodney shoved him away. "It's confused. Yeah, that's it. It's confused and doesn't know what it wants. It's gate travel, gotta be. And...and the time zone." 'And the fact that I haven't had any in to many years to think about,' he added silently.

"Time zone?"

"Yeah. I'm on, uh, Earth standard."

John groped him. "You may be, but your friend here is on Atlantis time."

"John...Major...don't do this. Please?"

"Rodney, if you really don't want this, really don't like men, I'll leave." When he got no answer, John pulled away, head lowered. "I'm sorry." He left to go back to his room, feeling even more foolish then when he'd barged in. He practically stalked back to his room, growling, kicking over a chair when he walked inside. "You are a moron! And what is it about that geek anyway? Yeah, he's a geek...I wish he'd just...." John lay down, wiping his face with his hands. "I wish he'd just have said yes." He closed his eyes, a fitful sleep slowly overtaking him. "Goddamit Rodney, why couldn't you have just said yes...."

~~~

For his own part, Rodney was confused as all hell. He didn't like men; he liked women. Soft, round, usually petite. He lay down, undoing his pants, a vision of a lovely redhead foremost in his mind.

A vision that slowly morphed into a dark-haired major with a killer smile and a smarmy attitude.

"No, this cannot be happening. I do not like men." Rodney was very sure, closed his eyes and took hold of his dick again. "Ahh, sweet Melanie, she with the red hair and firm chest...." A vision of John again. "NO!" He got up, tucking himself back into his pants and began to pace. He thought about John and his dick took full notice. "TRAITOR!" He yelled at his crotch. "I can't cope with this," he muttered to himself. "All of a sudden I decide I want to play on the other side of the fence? This is John's fault, I know it is. He did something. It's that ancient gene, has to be. Maybe it has something to do with Hathor." He winced at that thought. "No, don't be an idiot Rodney. She was a Goa'uld, not an Ancient." The thought wheels began to turn. "Maybe he's possessed. Yeah, could be. No, that's not it. C'mon McKay, you have an IQ of two hundred and forty-seven. How hard can it be to figure out?" He nodded firmly and made up his mind to straighten everything out once and for all. He'd go and see John, talk to him, find out the truth.

As he made his way down the corridor he wondered if he were doing the right thing. He should just let it go, forget about it. But Rodney McKay was not one to let sleeping cats lie. He silently entered John's quarters, standing beside the bed, staring down at the man. John was still dressed and looked a bit...crumpled. He studied John's face, seeing a smile, wondering what John was dreaming about. His eyes roamed down John's body, seeing the erection buried within the confines of the pants, quickly looking up again, staring at John's lips and for a brief moment he had the urge to lean down and kiss him. That thought shocked the shit out of him and he nearly stumbled backwards in surprise. 'Nope, uh-uh, not gonna do it.'

John for his part, wasn't asleep; you didn't spend half your life in the military and not hear everything. He was smiling because he just knew it was Rodney and that warmed his heart. God he was a softhearted sap. "Rodney?" John blinked the sleep from his eyes, quickly got his bearings, pulling Rodney down onto the bed, rolling atop him, taking Rodney's face in his palms and kissed him.

"John...."

"Shhh, we'll get there. Kissing first."

"But I...." Rodney's words were once again cut off by a kiss, this one deeper. "Major...." Kiss. "John!"

"Yeah?"

"I came in here to...." A hand was undoing his pants, fingers brushing the tip of his dick. "I don't...." The hand now pushed his pants down a bit, fingers wrapping around tightly.

"You don't what?" John began to stroke him slowly.

"I really don't...men...I've never...."

"You know Rodney, you haven't finished one sentence since you came in." John sucked on Rodney's ear, hearing the giggle. "There's a first time for everything."

Rodney seemed to sober. "I'm afraid."

Those words stopped John, who took both arms and held Rodney close. "Don't be. I promise not to hurt you."

"I can do holding." John felt good and Rodney couldn't help himself. He snuggled close. "I like holding."

"So do I," John kissed him softly. "And kissing, I like kissing." He went for another one, a bit harder, sucking on Rodney's lower lip as he pulled away. "Can I touch you?"

Rodney swallowed hard. "If I say no?"

"Then I stop and keep holding you."

"Why me?" Rodney wondered aloud. "I would think that Ford...."

"Ford?!" John started to laugh. "I don't like Ford!"

"He's good looking, not like me." Rodney ducked his head, burying it in John's shoulder.

"I should show you a picture of my first girlfriend. Lissa was a bit...chubby...didn't know the first thing about make-up or clothes, but she made me laugh. When I took her to the prom, some of the guys I knew weren't quiet about what they thought. But I couldn't have cared less. See, looks can fade with time, but what you are inside, that stays forever." John hoped that Rodney got the gist of what he was saying; then again, the smarter the man, the more obtuse he could be.

"I didn't go to my prom," Rodney said sadly. "I had nobody to go with."

"Nobody?"

"There was this one girl I liked, a cheerleader, and I thought she liked me. But I was wrong. She pretty much prompted me to ask her, then made fun of me." Rodney made a move to get up, but John just held tighter. "Are you going to do that John? Make fun of me?"

"Rodney Philip McKay, we have been in this Godforsaken galaxy for months now and I thought you knew me better then that."

"How did you know my middle name?"

"I know everything about you. I read your file. Plus I had a chat with Jack O'Neill before we left."

"Peachy," Rodney sneered.

"He seemed to think you were the second best person for the job."

Rodney faced John, curious. "Second best?"

"He said Daniel Jackson was the best, but the only way Doctor Jackson was going across the galaxy was over his dead body. Oh, and he told me to keep an eye on you because you scientists tend to get into trouble." John paused. "And that you were a good guy, even though you were a bit...egotistical."

"He said I was a good guy? Jack O'Neill?"

"Samantha Carter said you were tops in your field." John paused again. "But, er, I wasn't supposed to tell you that she said so."

Rodney didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "I can't believe it. She really said that?"

"Yes Rodney, she did. She also said you had a nice ass."

"She didn't say that!" Rodney sat up, pulling away again.

"Okay," John said sheepishly, "she didn't say that. But I am. And you do." He yanked Rodney back down to his side. "You've really never been with a man?"

"No, but you obviously have."

"It's been a long time." John's hand began to stroke Rodney's crotch again, feeling his dick swell. "You like me, don't you." It was a statement, not a question.

"I...yes, I think I do. But I can't figure out why. I told you, I've never been with a man, never had an attraction to one before." Rodney hesitated. "Well, that's not completely true. There was a man at the SGC...."

"Jonas Quinn?"

Rodney was totally shocked. "Jonas? Who told you that?"

"Nobody, but when Major Carter was telling me about you and your work with the Stargate program, she said you worked closely together. I guess I thought that the two of you...."

"Jonas isn't bad looking and he's very smart. I think he may have been smarter then me." Rodney chuckled. "But he went home before I could even approach him."

"Where was home?"

"A planet called Kelowna, although it's now called Langara."

"An alien?"

"Sort of. His people were some of the humans the Goa'uld relocated."

"I don't know much about the Goa'uld. Maybe you could teach me about them." John's eyes met Rodney's again. "Can I please kiss you again?"

"If you want....MMMPPHHH!!" Rodney's words were lost as his mouth was plundered this time, John's hands smoothing a path up and down his back, rubbing his own erection against Rodney's. Rodney pushed him away to catch a breath, but that only lasted about five seconds as his mouth was taken again, John's hands slowly edging down, inside the back of his pants, those hands on his asscheeks, squeezing them, fingers teasing the small opening. "John don't...."

"Shhh, I promised I wouldn't hurt you. Do you trust me, Rodney?"

"Yes."

"Then let me seduce you."

"Seduce me? You want to seduce me?"

"Yeah, and if you'd give me a few minutes, I think I could succeed." John rolled them so he was on top again, straddling Rodney's legs. Reaching up, he gripped the edges of Rodney's shirt and pulled, buttons flying all over. "I always wanted to do that."

"John, that is...was...my favorite shirt. And it's not like I can go shopping and buy a new one."

"Tough." John caressed up and down Rodney's chest, pebbling the nipples, watching them harden. Leering, he leaned down and swiped his tongue across one, hearing a moan...from his own throat. He slowly kissed his way down, glancing up as he reached Rodney's dick. "Hot damn, you are one sexy geek."

"I am not a geek and I swear if you call me that one more time I'll...JESUS JOHN!!"

John laughed, chewing on Rodney's dick through the pants. "You are a geek, my geek. General O'Neill said all officers had to have their own geek and you are mine."

"Jack O'Neill said that?"

"Yes, he did." John didn't elaborate, didn't want to tell him that he'd been told that after he walked in on the General and Doctor Jackson in Jack's office. He didn't need to tell Rodney that for a fifty year old, Jack O'Neill was quite flexible. Nor did he need to say that Daniel Jackson gave orders to the General which were followed without question. And he most definitely didn't need to tell Rodney what went on in that office his first evening at the SGC. He still got a twinge in his dick everytime he thought about it. He shook off the memory, pleasant as it was, deftly unzipping Rodney's pants all the way and slid them off before Rodney was aware of it, licking his lips in anticipation. "My, my, my, Doctor McKay, what a big boy you are."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Oh good, definitely good." John pulled his own shirt off. "Let me love you Rodney." Rodney opened his mouth to refuse, then shut it and just nodded. John slid off the bed, taking his pants off and climbing atop again. "We don't have to get naked yet. How about I hold you some more?"

"More kissing?" Rodney asked hopefully. He liked the kissing.

"Lots more kissing." True to his word, John's mouth found Rodney's again, tongue delving deep, ready to jump for joy as the kiss was returned in full. But he kept calm; Rodney had to make the next move. He didn't have to wait long, feeling hands rubbing his back, sliding down to grab his ass, the body beneath his slowly undulating towards upward. More moaning, harder kisses, stronger gropes...all from Rodney. Once again, John left a trail of kisses down Rodney's body, but this time when he found his mouth at Rodney's crotch, he pulled the underwear down, shifting back a bit so he could pull them off. He left a trail of wet lines with his tongue along Rodney's dick. "Let me do this."

"John, you don't have to...."

"Yes, I do." John nibbled on the tip, suckling, stroking Rodney just a tiny bit harder. "If I didn't want this, I wouldn't do it." John took one of Rodney's hands, placing it on his head. "I want to suck your cock, suck it deep." John lowered his head, teasing the tip with his tongue, slowly swallowing.

"Your vocabulary is...interesting."

"You don't like dirty talk...Rod?" John laughed, jerking Rodney rougher. He sucked one ball into his mouth, thumb stroking over the tip of his dick, sucking the other one, feeling Rodney begin to shake. He slid his body over Rodney's again, kissing him softly, whispering in his ear, "Hey, it's okay. I'll stop if you want."

"It's not that. It just never felt this way."

"What way?"

"John, I never had a...no woman ever...."

"You've never had a blow-job?" John started to laugh again, then caught himself at the hurt look on Rodney's face. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh." John managed to get his own boxers off, resuming the kissing, rubbing their dicks together. "I am going to give you the best damn head anyone ever had." As he slid down Rodney's body again, John left featherlight kisses on the nipples, hearing Rodney's breathing deepen. Down Rodney's stomach, hearing giggling as he tongued the bellybutton, followed by a sharp gasp as he inhaled Rodney's dick to the root. As Rodney began to thrust up, John held him down, preventing any movement. He knew what he was doing, head bobbing up and down, suckling the tip before swallowing again, fondling the balls. He reached out blindly, hand finding a tube of liniment he'd been using on his shoulders, thankful it was odorless. He glanced up, seeing Rodney's eyes closed, flipped the cap, squeezing some onto his fingers, reaching back to touch his own ass. Covering Rodney's cock with his mouth again, John slowly opened himself. He knew what he wanted, knew this would be good for both of them. Giving himself over to Rodney would show him that sex could be pleasurable and that it was a 'two-way street'; that love was giving and receiving.

As for Rodney, he was so lost in the feeling of John's mouth that he didn't realize what John planned. As he felt the lube on his dick, he opened his eyes. "John, what are you doing?"

"Making love with you." John raised himself, straddling Rodney's body, holding Rodney's dick still as he lowered himself, wincing as Rodney breached him. "It's been a while." John lowered himself further. "Ahh...you thought...oh God...that I wouldn't want this, didn't you?" He rocked back and forth, impaling himself, moaning softly. Rodney stared at him, trying to shift back. "No, Rodney, please give me this."

"I'm hurting you."

"No," John murmured, meeting Rodney's eyes, caressing up and down Rodney's chest, a leer on his face, pinching Rodney's nipples. "You feel so good inside me...so hard...so deep...ohhh yessss...." He reached back, fondling Rodney's balls, rocking harder. Sliding his hands under Rodney's back, John pulled him up, managing to wrap his legs around, holding them both up, almost sitting in Rodney's lap, carding his fingers in Rodney's hair, kissing him hard. "Let it go."

Rodney returned the kiss with a fury, driving deeper, mustering all his strength to push up, getting lost in the heat around his dick. His head fell back, eyelids fluttering, getting dizzy, whispering John's name over and over.

As he brushed his prostate, John growled, screwing himself deeper. "Fuck me Rodney...Fuck me!"

"Ahh, oh God...John...JOHN!" Rodney was totally and completely lost, feeling John's hand on his, guiding it to John's swollen dick.

"Make me come, all over you...come inside me...Rodney do it...." John held Rodney's hand around his dick, the two of them jerking him off, "GOD YESSS!" John shooting between them, feeling the warmth in his ass a moment later.

It took a few minutes for the two to calm down, drowning in each other's kisses, Rodney laying on his back, John atop him.

"I love you," John whispered, stealing more kisses as Rodney softened, sliding out slowly. It felt good to say those words breathless from making love. He didn't think he'd ever say it that way again.

Rodney was still trying to focus. "I...John...."

John grabbed some tissues, cleaning them both off. "Intense, wasn't it?"

"I didn't hurt you?"

"Rodney, you couldn't hurt me, no more then I could hurt you." John waited for the three little words to be returned and when they weren't, he just pulled Rodney into his arms. "We need some sleep." Rodney snuggled against him, John placing a gentle kiss to the top of his head. "Goodnight, Rod."

"Mmm, yeah, g'night Major." Rodney was snoring a few minutes later.

'C'mon John, what did you expect? A declaration of worship?' John shook his head. 'You are truly a fool to think that he would tell you he loved you back.' He glanced down at the sleeping man. 'They're just words anyway.' John chewed on his lower lip in frustration. 'Then tell yourself, fool, why the hell does it bother you so much?' Nevertheless, with Rodney safely ensconced in his arms, John slept more peacefully then he had in months.

When John woke up, Rodney was already gone. At first he was surprised he hadn't heard him and then wondered what he'd done that was so bad, how he'd scared Rodney off. "Oh you know what you did. You declared yourself, admitted you liked men, let him...you made love. He didn't. Just like all the times you've been in the heat of the battle and wanted to let out some energy. Let it go Johnny. Just let it the fuck go."

~~~

For three days the two men managed to avoid each other, not an easy task as there was nowhere for either to run away to.

John avoided intentionally, not wanting to face Rodney. He'd made a mistake, of that he was certain. He made sure that there was plenty for him and Aiden to study as far as the PuddleJumper was concerned and took it upon himself to introduce the Athosian children to the wonders of American pop culture, which included football, Jell-O, The Grateful Dead and Freddy Krueger.

Rodney kept busy in his lab, refusing to entertain any thoughts of John, working insane hours until he finally collapsed into bed from exhaustion. There was no time to think of the way John's body had responded to his touch or how John's body had felt against his own. There was no time to contemplate the heat between them, the whispered words that suggested something far more intimate then sex had occurred. Consumed with his scientific studies, he was able to shut off any thoughts the moment they started. On the third day, lack of sleep eroded the last of his defenses and the three little words finally sunk into his brain.

He'd been sitting down, drinking tea when he blinked, mouth dropping open. 'No. It was said in the heat of the moment, that's all,' he reasoned to himself. He smiled as Elizabeth and Teyla entered the commissary, taking a table beside him.

"The Major is miserable," Teyla observed. "I do not know why."

"He's still upset about the tequila," Elizabeth answered.

"No, I do not think so," Teyla shook her head. "He has not been himself for the past few days. He seems to be...lost, as if he is searching for something."

"He has been too quiet," Elizabeth agreed. "I hope he's not coming down with a bug."

But Rodney knew better, at least he thought he did. John had said 'I love you' and Rodney hadn't answered. And just how did he feel about John anyway? They had had sex, that was all. 'No,' Rodney told himself, 'John said it was making love, that he'd made love with me. Hell, he bottomed for me.' Rodney spewed his tea all over the table as that thought sunk in as well. 'Holy shit! He bottomed for me!'

"Rodney, are you okay?" Elizabeth asked, staring at him.

"Yeah, I'm fine." A grin slowly came across his mouth as the realization smacked him right in the face. 'Rodney, you're in love.' Elizabeth continued to stare at him. "Where's John...Major Sheppard?"

"He's in his quarters. He hasn't been feeling well and...."

"Thanks. Later!" He practically sprinted away, the grin stuck to his face.

"Perhaps Doctor McKay is feeling unwell himself," Teyla observed.

"No," Elizabeth answered, shaking her head. "He's fine. I've seen that look before. The good doctor is in love."

"With who?"

"Major Sheppard."

"They make a strange pair," Teyla chuckled.

"Ahh, Teyla, allow me to tell you about one General Jack O'Neill and one Doctor Daniel Jackson. If you think John and Rodney are a mismatched pair...."

~~~

"John!" Rodney almost flew into the room, out of breath, grinning from ear to ear.

John was reading and jumped up at the shout. "What is it? Wraith? Goa'uld? Asgard?"

"I love you."

"Huh?"

"I said I love you, numbnuts." Rodney paced the room, shaking his head. "How could someone so smart be so stupid?"

"You think I'm stupid?"

"No, you dumbass. Me. I'm the stupid one. Jesus, I am so slow off the mark, I'm embarrassed."

John put his hands on Rodney's arms, forcing him to stand still. "Rodney, pretend I'm dense, just for a moment and explain it all to me."

"I love you John, I really do. And I want you to make love to me now."

"I dunno Rod. It's a big step."

"I like it when you call me Rod. You make it sound perverse."

John narrowed his eyes. "Get naked."

"What?"

"Naked. N-a-k-e-d. Nude, bare, au-naturel...strip Rodney."

"Okay." Rodney didn't even question the request, just peeled his clothes off slowly, watching John watching him. As the last of his clothing hit the floor, he suddenly realized what he'd done and quickly covered his groin with his hands, blushing crimson.

John pulled his hands away. "Never be embarrassed around me. I like to look at you."

"Are you going to do it now?"

"Rodney, you need to know this is not a cheap thrill for me. The odds are we are going to be here for the rest of our lives. So no, I'm not going to do it now. I'm going to make love with you. I'm going to do it slow, take my time, make sure your first time is memorable."

"People will talk."

John smiled at him, motioning him to sit, kneeling behind him and rubbing his shoulders. He nibbled on Rodney's ear, "I don't give a flying fuck," pulling Rodney backwards, his chest against Rodney's back. "You're beautiful."

"I'm ugly."

"Hey, don't argue with me. You can't win. And you know what they say. 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.' I told you, looks mean nothing to me. And besides, you're not ugly. You're...cute."

"I'm not cute!" Rodney fired back, pulling away, turning to stare at John.

John just grinned, stood and pulled off his pants, nearly stumbling as they came off. "Don't argue with me or you eat Weir's cooking for a month."

Try as he might, Rodney couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled up. "No, please, anything but that."

John's shirt followed and he stood there in his boxers. "Rodney, I'm going to get serious here for a moment. I want you to think about this before you say yes."

Rodney took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "I have thought about it. I do love you. I'll be damned if I know why. Maybe because I stopped thinking about the fact that you're a male and started to think of you as...well, as John."

"Good enough," John answered softly, taking his boxers off and returning to the bed. "Do you want another blow-job?"

"You want to do that to me again?" Rodney asked, voice rising.

"I like giving head," John chuckled, taking Rodney's dick in his fist, stroking slowly.

"I...I want to try."

"You don't have to do that."

"I have to learn some time."

Much as John wanted to argue, to protest Rodney wasn't experienced enough, he didn't; he couldn't. He wanted Rodney to go down on him, wanted to take that sweet virgin mouth and...."Okay." He lay back, motioning Rodney atop him, carding his fingers in Rodney's hair and kissing him until Rodney was pushing away to catch a breath. "Go down on me baby. You can do it."

Rodney began to laugh. "Baby?"

"Just shut up Rodney and show me your mouth can do something other then babbling."

"I can do that." Rodney started by kissing John's neck, across his shoulder, down his chest. He stopped at a nipple, pulling at it with his teeth. When John moaned, Rodney switched to the other, suckling, the hands in his hair pushing his mouth further down. Licking a path down John's abdomen, he found himself kneeling between John's legs, staring at his dick.

"Second thoughts?" John asked. "It's okay, I told you you didn't have to."

"No, I want to. Just give me a minute here." Having never had a blow-job before John gave him one, Rodney wasn't sure what to do. He started by licking the tip, sucking on the head, getting his first taste of pre-come. It was a bit salty, but he was determined to do unto John as John had done unto him. He slowly swallowed and started to suck; it was almost intoxicating. Taking John halfway, he lifted his head, catching a breath and swallowed again, nearly taking the entire length before he started to choke.

John didn't want it to be like this. His own first time going down had been forced and very unpleasant. That was the last thing he wanted for his new lover. "Stop...Rodney...please stop." John pulled him up and Rodney looked frightened for a moment.

"You didn't like it? I'm sorry."

"No, it's not that, you're...it was great, really."

"I guess I'm not cut out to do that, huh?"

"It takes practice. And we are going to have lots of time to practice, I promise you. But for now, Rodney, I want inside you."

For the first time in his life Rodney McKay was at a loss for words and just nodded, shifting to his hands and knees, ass in the air. He expected John to just mount him, shove inside...fuck him.

But John was full of surprises.

Rodney felt the lips on his ass and froze. "Wha...what are you doing?"

"I told you, Mister Mensa, making love." John placed a kiss on one cheek. "Just perfect." He kissed the other, a soft kiss to the center, feeling the shaking again. "Relax, just calm down." A long swipe of his tongue and Rodney moaned, body collapsing flat on the bed. "Good, huh?" He managed to open the liniment, teasing the virgin hole with one finger, not attempting entrance until Rodney pushed backwards. "Tell me what you want and I'll do it."

"Please...oh God, please do something."

"I'm going to try two now. If it hurts, just tell me and I'll stop." John slid two fingers in, amazed at how tight Rodney was.

"John...."

"What? Does it hurt?"

"No, it feels...nice." Rodney didn't think about what he was saying. "If I had known it felt this good, I would have tried it years ago."

John's eyes widened and he gritted his teeth, shoving his fingers deep, getting a louder moan.

"Then again, it wouldn't have been with you and it wouldn't have been right."

"Damn straight!" John snapped, shoving in again, finding that spot, this time getting a scream.

"I need...please John...."

"Okay," John whispered, "okay." His fingers slid out, slopping the cream on his dick, wiping his hand on the sheet and holding Rodney open. Before he attempted entrance, he whispered, "Last chance to back out. I won't think less of you, won't hate you."

"Do it John. Make love to me."

"No Rod, I'm going to make love with you." John rested himself at Rodney's ass, slowly easing in, giving Rodney time to adjust to the new sensation.

Rodney may have been tight, but he was very willing, taking deep breaths, calming himself, the fullness exhilarating. "More...."

John slid the rest of the way in, stilling, rolling his hips. "Did you like that?"

"Yessss...." Rodney voice drifted off, meeting John's movements. "That's good, feels so nice."

John wrapped his arms around Rodney' waist, pulled out almost all the way and slammed back in. He pulled out again, teasing. "Beg for it." John slowly pushed in again, holding Rodney still.

"Not enough," Rodney moaned, arching his body to take more. "FUCK ME!"

"You want to be fucked, McKay? I can do that." John shoved deep, taking hold of Rodney's dick, stroking rough.

"I can't...oh God...JOOOOHHHHN!" Rodney couldn't hold on, he came hard, and the feel of his come sent John over the edge.

"Ahhh...yeah...sooo good...." John pretty much collapsed, laying atop Rodney, kisses wherever his lips could reach. He reluctantly slid out, feeling bereft, wiping them with the edge of the sheet. "Too lazy to get a cloth." As Rodney came into his arms, John kissed him again, smiling softly. "Love ya Rod."

"You really do, don't you?"

"Yes, I really do."

"Good, because I love you too."

"No more thoughts about being ugly?"

"No more John. Never again." He tilted his head, initiating a kiss this time. "Like you said, it's all in the eye of the beholder."

"Now you're getting the idea," John chuckled. "Sleep Rodney. And when you wake up, we're going to practice some more."

"Sounds good to me."

FIN