My Soul To Keep

by The Huntress

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/ash/huntress/mysoulto.php
Summary: John sold his soul at eighteen and now Satan has come to collect; John can buy his soul back, but is he willing to pay the price?

John had just settled in his room for the night, opening 'War and Peace', ready to read a few more pages. He'd been reading too much lately and would have his tome finished by the end of the month. "I should have brought 'Crime and Punishment' also." At approximately one minute after midnight his door chime sounded, the soothing melody of 'Stairway To Heaven' making him smile and he shouted "ENTER IF YOU DARE!"

"I dare," Rodney walked in with a smile. "I brought you something."

"Why? What do you want me to do this time?" John was suspicious and rightly so. Rodney was usually this friendly when he wanted something. The last time was assistance with the 'removal' (as Rodney had called it) of a case of Pop-Tart's from the Daedalus' kitchens.

"John, it's your birthday." Rodney looked at his watch. "You're thirty-eight today."

"It is? I am? Thirty-eight?" John's face fell when he realized the date. October thirtieth. He knew this day was coming and he thought he was prepared, but he wasn't. It had been twenty years...twenty long and frightening years. Was it just yesterday he was an eighteen year old kid? He had been so stupid and ignorant, not heeding the warnings of his mother and grandmother over messing with things he knew nothing about....

"John? Earth to Colonel Sheppard. Come in, over."

"Huh?" John blinked, focusing on Rodney. "Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about something."

"Was it a happy thought?" Rodney snickered. "Happy thoughts are good, especially on your birthday."

"Mister Prozac speaks," John laughed aloud. "Now, what did you bring me?"

"Me."

"I'm thrilled with my gift." John was a bit sarcastic. "Now go away so I can finish this book and be bored for the rest of my stay here."

"But...."

"Rodney, I'm tired and I don't celebrate my birthday anymore."

"I didn't know." Rodney stared at his feet. "I just thought...things haven't been the best between us since...." He was stammering, not usual for him. Words had never been a problem before; then again they were usually cutting and snarky. But those words wouldn't work with John now, not after Rodney had nearly killed them both. And taken out a star system. "It's about trust, I know." He turned and took a step towards the door.

"McKay, that was over a month ago. Since that time I have eaten..." John did some quick calculations, "...twenty-six breakfasts with you. Those included watching you eat chipped beef on toast like it was Ambrosia." He grimaced. "How you eat that I will never know and don't want to. We have gotten together for eighteen or nineteen lunches, a dozen or so while you were working on the mainland."

Rodney turned around, gawking at John. He had never heard John speak so much at one time.

"Rodney, I swear, if you open your mouth and interrupt me...where was I? Oh yeah, food. How many dinners have I eaten with you since, happily listening to you bitch about the cuisine Hart serves up. He's gonna poison you one day if you're not careful." John took a breath. "Not to mention the small fact that I suffered through all the 'Police Academy' movies because you asked me to watch with you." John paused, letting all of that sink into Rodney's (occasionally) dense mind. "I trust you again, Rodney. If you didn't realize it, then you weren't looking." John gave him a genuine smile. "Look, I *really* am tired, so how about tomorrow we celebrate. A day more or less won't matter. I promise."

Rodney's face seemed to brighten. "Can we go swimming on the Northern pier?"

"Whatever you want, McKay, just as long as I get some rest."

"Deal!" The door closed behind Rodney and John sighed to himself.

"If I'm still around."

"YOU WILL NOT BE!"

John jumped at the sharp bellow and rolled off the bed, rubbing his head as he sat up. "Fuck, that hurt!" He glanced around, seeing the figure before him, the huge figure over seven feet tall, with wings, horns, talons and blood-red eyes. "Hello, your royal evilness," he sneered.

"Satan will suffice."

"Fine, Satan." John got to his feet, sitting in his chair in a reclining position. Grandma had said when you face the dark one you must show no fear; that was how she bargained an extra twenty years for John. Besides, after dealing with Wraith, nothing fazed John anymore; not even the Devil himself. "What are you doing here?"

"You know why I am here, dense you are not. I have come to collect, John Sheppard." Satan held out a parchment. "You signed in blood. I gave you twenty years. You owe me your soul."

"That's being a bit overdramatic, isn't it?" John drawled.

"Your insolence will only bring you pain!" A large hand lifted John by the throat.

"Uh, isn't there some..." John was choking, "...way out of this?" He was struggling to breathe while suspended in the air. "I'm kinda enjoying my life."

Satan dropped him to the ground. "What do you offer?"

John caught his breath and smirked. "How about a Power bar?"

"No," came a growl and a taloned hand reached down.

John backed up. "An MRE?"

The hand moved forward to grab him. "I detest chicken."

"My laptop? It's got loads of porn."

"I already have John Holmes."

"My book?" John nodded to 'War and Peace'.

"I would rather watch Barney the dinosaur."

"Aww, c'mon. There's gotta be something I can get for you that will settle us up, other then my soul."

Satan narrowed his eyes. "Another soul to take your place in my domain."

"Another soul? That would settle us up?"

"Yes, but the soul must be willing or must be yours to give to me. I cannot take an unwilling sacrifice."

"A willing soul, huh? I can deal with that. How long do I have?"

"One hour."

"Seventy-two."

"Twenty-four."

"Forty-eight."

"All right Sheppard, but I only give you this time because you have given me many Wraith since you have been here." Satan vanished in flames.

"SHOW OFF!" John screamed. He began to pace. "A soul. Where am I going to get a soul?" He decided on a quick snack before bed and headed to the mess. He immediately spotted his victim, oh yeah. John saw Kavanagh and just knew this would be easy. Nobody would miss him; in fact, he was sure everyone would cheer John on if they knew he'd gotten rid of the pain in the ass...and how he did it.

He walked towards the biologist but before he got near, Bates sat down and whispered in Kavanagh's ear. Kavanagh grinned and whispered something back and John watched as Bates kissed him on the cheek. Kavanagh turned pink and the two men practically flew out of the mess.

Kavanagh and Bates? John couldn't very well get rid of Kavanagh now. Bates was his friend and he didn't want the man to be lonely. Loneliness was a terrible thing and he would never wish it on anyone he knew.

'Scratch Kavanagh *and* Bates,' John thought as he returned to his room and his bed. Damn, he was tired. He lay down and as he drifted off to sleep he made a mental list of all the souls he could get rid of. He woke up late the next morning, with forty hours left, and sought out his next victim, finding him in the mess.

~~~

Ronon Dex was wolfing down chipped beef, savoring the taste. When John questioned Dex's choice of food, Ronon had replied that Doctor McKay recommended it and McKay was correct; chipped beef was delicious. John decided to have a chat with Rodney about Rodney's eating habits, grabbed a box of Wheaties for himself and sat down to join him.

"Breakfast of champion's" John snickered as he poured milk over his cereal.

"There is a picture on the box," Ronon pointed to it.

"The classics collection series. Someone on the Daedalus was kind enough to bring them. This is Mickey Mantle, baseball player."

"Baseball? You will have to explain this to me. I am still trying to understand football."

John laughed as he ate and wondered about Dex's soul. Did Dex have one? Of course he did, John reasoned. Every sentient being did. And Dex would be easy to con, John just knew it. But as he ate he thought about everything Dex had lost to the Wraith...fuck, Ronon Dex *had* already lost his soul during the years he was a runner. John and Teyla had given it back to him. He couldn't very well take it away again. So John turned the conversation to baseball, finished his breakfast and wandered to a transport tube, straight to the infirmary.

The manic Scot had a thing for needles and constant poking and prodding, especially when he wanted to know more about the gene. John had suggested that Beckett examine himself, but Beckett refused, explaining that John's gene was stronger. 'Let's see how strong you are when demons are poking at *you*,' he thought with a malicious grin.

Beckett was kissing Laura Cadman when John entered. He'd read Cadman's file; she'd lost her husband to a Goa'uld. She deserved some happiness. And judging by the looks on their faces, if he sent Carson away, the young Lieutenant would be heartbroken. John would never be able to forgive himself if he hurt either one of them, so he scratched them both off his list.

John ran into Teyla in the gym and considered her. Yes, she was an Athosian but Satan had said he had Wraith, so it didn't matter that she wasn't from Earth. As they sparred he began an innocent conversation about souls, asking if the Athosian's believed in that sort of thing. She smiled and told him yes and that she hoped someday to join her father, to see him again, hoping he would be proud of her and the life she had carved for herself. And she thanked John, knowing she hadn't in the past, for giving the Athosian's the chance at a new life, with endless possibilities.

John felt so guilty over considering her that all he did was thank her for the information...and bang his head against the wall after she'd left. He had thirty-six hours left.

He entered the hangar and immediately spotted Major Lorne. Now there was a possibility. But Lorne approached John like an excited kid, asking questions about Pegasus, about the Wraith, the gene, the puddle jumpers. He reminded John of Brendan Gaul in the beginning, when Gaul followed Rodney around like a lost puppy. John remembered the fate of the young physicist, his young life stolen from him before he had a chance to reach his full potential. Major Lorne needed that chance. John couldn't take it away from him.

So he spent some time with Lorne, explaining the jumpers in detail, promising the Major that he'd get to fly one soon. When his stomach began to growl, John headed for a late lunch, sitting down with a mixed group of personnel. As they talked about trivial matters and caught up on base gossip, John wondered which of their souls he could obtain....

He couldn't do anything to Radek, Radek was too nice, as were Stackhouse and Miko and Katie Brown and....at the rate he was going, John would be spending eternity in flames. He liked *everybody*. After lunch John buried himself in his paperwork. The least he could do was ensure *every* requisition was signed and approved and sent to the Daedalus before she left on a supply run to Earth. The Daedalus. He hadn't considered any of her crew to take his place. Hermiod? No, the Asgard had helped the Tau'ri too often. It wasn't right. Neither was conning Novak. She hiccuped a bunch but she had given John a pot plant she had been growing with no success. It was just about to bloom and would make a good companion to Holling's hooch.

The Athosian's! Yeah, that was it. John's face quickly fell. No, they were out. He'd already done enough to them by awakening the Wraith and forcing them to leave their home.

There was nobody. Shit, he was going to suffer for all of eternity now. His headset came to life, his CO's voice requesting to speak with him. This was perfect. Steven Caldwell was a pain in the ass, he'd challenged John on everything. Mind made up, John went to go see him in his office in the city.

"Ah, Colonel Sheppard, that was quick."

"I was on my way to speak with you anyway." He was about to start in about souls and would the Colonel consider giving his to John. John knew Caldwell would think it was a joke and probably agree.

"Colonel Sheppard...John...I owe you an apology."

John's mouth dropped open.

"I jumped to conclusions about your command of this base and I was wrong. I went by my first impressions about you and I should know better. From now on you, Colonel, have full military command of this base. The people here respect you and as such I find I have no choice but to respect you as well." Caldwell held out his hand. "I'm hoping we can find a way to work together."

John took Caldwell's hand and shook it.

"Now, what did you want to speak with me about?"

John backed away. "Nothing sir. It's not important."

"Carry on the way you've been and I intend to recommend to Jack O'Neill that you receive a promotion to full-bird Colonel."

"Yes sir!" John snapped to attention. "Thank you...Steven." He left quickly, lest his quest for a soul get the better of him and he turn Caldwell over to the minions of darkness.

John had nothing to do so he wandered out to the balcony for a while, knowing Rodney would find him there. Rodney always found him. They would take Jumper One to the mainland and just hang out. He'd miss that most, hanging out with Rodney. And once John left, he knew he would never see Rodney again. His best friend was an innocent at heart, no matter what kind of crap came out of his mouth; Rodney was a good man, with a pure soul. If there was a Hell, there was also a Heaven and that was where Rodney was going.

Or Rodney would ascend and rescue him from eternal damnation. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, savoring that thought. He wondered if the Ancients would allow their prodigal son to be taken to Hell. And then John heard the soft yet firm voice, drifting up from a lower level.

"Elizabeth, this has got to stop."

John glanced over the railing, seeing Rodney and Elizabeth facing each other. Rodney didn't look happy as she placed her hands on Rodney's arms and nuzzled his neck. He was pulling away from her and she was pushing him against the wall, her lips sealing over his. John observed the kiss, observed Rodney. Rodney's hands were balled into fists at his sides; he didn't want this.

Rodney finally had enough and ducked under Weir's arm. "I do love you, Elizabeth, but not like that. Please leave me alone."

"Rodney," she leered and stalked towards him, "I thought we were special together."

'NO!' echoed in John's mind. Weir had no business flirting with Rodney. John was ready to go down there and physically remove Weir. He needn't have been concerned.

Rodney McKay could defend himself. He grabbed her by the arm and physically shoved her back. "No more, Liz. Do not come near me unless it is mission-related. I don't want you and I never will." He shook his head and turned away, entering the city.

Elizabeth stood there seething, not knowing she was being watched. She gripped the railing, staring after him. Her eyes were wild as she stalked away.

Between the look in her eyes and her body language it was obvious she was obsessed with Rodney. She reminded John of Jessica Walter in 'Play Misty For Me'. And that disturbed John more then anything. Would Elizabeth hurt Rodney? Physically or academically? He had to protect Rodney, just like any other member of his team. Rodney was his friend.

'Best friend,' John thought. It suddenly occurred to him that he'd never allowed any of his friends to see him cry. He had sobbed in Rodney's arms after the storm, when the shock of killing sixty men finally sunk in.

Before Atlantis, before Rodney, John had never hugged, or been hugged, after a mission gone bad. He and Rodney held each other after Gaul died, after the Ancient virus invaded Atlantis, after the battle with the Wraith. They held each other as friends...as best friends.

'No,' John's mind insisted, 'more then friends.' So much more that they had spent many a night in each other's beds, comforting one another after a mission gone bad. They felt safe together, trusted each other. Even after Arcturus the trust was still there, although it had gotten lost for a little while. John had been mean and Rodney had been (emotionally) self-abusing and after five days *John* finally gave in and sat down to have breakfast with Rodney. He missed spending time with Rodney, annoying Rodney, showing off his math skills just to constantly remind Rodney that he too was Mensa material.

'I love him.'

The epiphany shook John from his head to his toes. He finally moved, walking to a transport tube. "I love him," he murmured to himself as he stepped inside. The doors closed and John realized two things.

One, he had to tell Rodney how he felt...and then John would *show* Rodney just how much he loved him.

And two, more importantly, he had to make it clear to Elizabeth that Rodney was off-limits.

'First things first,' John grinned as the tube doors opened to the crew quarters. He'd get things situated in Jumper One and retrieve Rodney from his lab. If he had forty eight hours left, (actually thirty-two now) he intended to spend them with the man he had discovered he loved.

Of course he would have to find out if Rodney loved him also. Or if Rodney liked men. Rodney had never shown any interest in any male, at least none John had noticed. And John would have noticed - his favorite hobby was Rodney-watching.

It was almost eighteen hundred when he entered Rodney's lab. "C'mon, McKay." John grabbed him by the arm, physically dragging him away.

"Colonel, I am in the midst of an important experiment."

"And we are going swimming." John shoved Rodney into a tube. "On the mainland." John dragged him out of the tube and pretty much shoved him into Jumper One. He took the pilot's seat and thought the hangar bay doors open, nodding to the back of the jumper. "I brought SPF30 and some aloe vera lotion, just in case you get a burn."

"Where'd you get those?" Rodney asked, staring at the tubes.

"Your room," John smiled, quickly amending himself with, "your *bathroom*, Rodney. I went straight there and left just as fast. Your room should be declared a disaster area."

"I know where everything is," Rodney insisted.

"I just bet you do," John laughed as he flew them a bit faster...a bit higher.

"You're crazy!" Rodney shouted, trying to sound panicked but failing. John was the finest pilot he'd ever seen and Rodney *wasn't* frightened for the first time in his life. But he did strap himself into his seat and a moment later he was seeing stars...literally. John had taken them into the upper atmosphere. And just when Rodney was getting used to the bare expanse of space, John took them back down...straight down. "Inertial dampeners," Rodney said to himself. "I don't feel a thing."

John smirked. "You can't feel it, but you can see it." He nodded to the front window and watched for Rodney's expression of either frightened or pissy or angry or...."Rodney, are you smiling? You're supposed to be scared."

"I don't get scared anymore, John. I know you'd never let anything happen to me."

John felt a lump in his throat, but decided they needed to laugh. It had been too long. "Likewise, kemo sabe," John nodded. "HI-HO JUMPER ONE! AWAY!" he shouted as he did a wide loop-de-loop and took the jumper along the coastline, finding a secluded spot on the far side of the mainland.

Rodney couldn't help his own laughter. It bubbled up before he could stop it.

"Hey, Rod, you think you can stop laughing long enough to help me out here?" John pointed to the few items he had stashed. "We can't have a day at the beach without the proper equipment."

"It's going to be dark soon," Rodney looked up. "We've got maybe an hour of sun left."

"So we'll swim in the moonlight. Now get your ass over here and make yourself useful."

Rodney went directly for the picnic basket but froze. "That basket, that's the one you took with...."

"Chaya wouldn't appreciate what I packed in there for you." John smacked Rodney's hand as Rodney lifted the lid. "No peeking." He stepped out onto the sand and walked toward the water. "I really need to make a surfboard."

"John, why are you spreading out a blanket?"

"So we can eat," John replied matter-of-factly. He sat down and opened the picnic basket, removing food. "Shoes off the blanket," John ordered and Rodney kicked his off.

Rodney almost sighed as he stared at the spread before him. There were sandwiches of turkey breast and pastrami and corned beef, on the freshest rye bread Rodney had seen in years. White wine, red wine and beer. "Wow, John, when you go all out, you go..." he waved his hand over the food, "...all out."

"I would never have dreamed to share pastrami with her. She wouldn't have appreciated it."

Rodney moaned as he bit into a corned beef sandwich. "Heavenly."

"Schultz's deli, fifty-second street in Brooklyn."

"Brooklyn?" Rodney smiled as he chewed.

"I studied mathematics at NYU but lived with my Aunt in Brooklyn. Best deli in all the world." John smiled through a mouthful of cole slaw. "The last time the Daedalus was here, Captain Novak mentioned her family was from New York. She was going there when she got back and agreed to do some shopping for me." John picked up the wines. "Red or white?"

"Neither," Rodney laughed again and opened a beer.

John opened one as well. "I never pegged you as a beer guy."

Rodney looked at him with a perfectly straight face. "It's the manly thing to do."

John snorted beer out his nose and nearly choked.

Rodney just laughed some more.

They talked while they ate, starting with trivial matters, such as forming new SGA teams. John would pick the marines, Rodney chuckling as he picked the team geeks. The conversation turned to the Genii, the Wraith and eventually to Arcturus.

Rodney got to his knees, ready to stand up and return to the jumper. "I said I was sorry for that. I thought you forgave me." He looked very hurt, his eyes unable to hide the sadness.

John crawled over, took Rodney by the shoulders, surprised that Rodney ducked his head. "You need to learn about the separation of work and pleasure." He placed his palms on Rodney's face, holding his head still. "John will always love Rodney. But Colonel Sheppard would like to occasionally beat the crap out of Doctor McKay."

"You...love me." Rodney actually looked confused.

John thought he looked adorable. "Rodney, when we're not on duty, like on a beach eating a picnic dinner, I'm not your CO, not Colonel Sheppard." He leaned in for a kiss. "I'm just John now." He brushed his lips over Rodney's, but that was as far as he got because Rodney jumped to his feet.

"I don't have a bathing suit," Rodney said quickly, backing away from John, chewing his lower lip, a nervous habit.

John laughed it off and began to strip. "Rod, don't tell me you never skinny-dipped." He now stood naked before Rodney, fighting a chuckle at the pink-cheeked physicist. "Hey, there's nothing to be ashamed of." He reached for Rodney's tee-shirt, untucking it, smiling his warmest smile. "When you came to my room last night..." John pulled Rodney's shirt over his head, "...I asked you what you brought me. Do you remember how you answered?"

Rodney's pallor moved from pink to red. He clearly remembered. "I said 'me'."

John undid Rodney's pants, urging him to step put of them, feeling Rodney stiffen. "Rodney, you don't have to get naked if you don't want. But you can't swim in pants."

"Ah, of course," Rodney smiled and pulled them off, standing in his boxers. John took Rodney's hand in his and Rodney pulled it away. "Why are you holding my hand?"

"Why are you embarrassed? There's nobody around for miles." John studied Rodney's face, getting the answer to his unasked question. "You've never...ya know...with a man before, have you?"

"No," Rodney sneered, "I've never...ya know...with a man before. Why? Did you think all scientists were gay? That's a stereotype, much like all blondes being dumb."

"Come on, Rodney, let's get a bit of exercise." He pulled Rodney to the water and the moment Rodney's feet got wet he stepped back.

"Cold."

"It's not cold," John shrugged. "It's refreshing." That said he dove under, swam out about fifty feet before turning back. Rodney was still standing in the same spot. John swam back, standing before Rodney, his hands on Rodney's shoulders. "I've got you," John soothed, lips leaving a trail of kisses along Rodney's shoulder, up his neck, along his jaw. His tongue traced the curve of Rodney's lips, murmuring, "I'll keep you warm," before demanding entrance into Rodney's mouth.

Rodney opened his mouth to say no, to refuse, to apologize. Instead he moaned as John's tongue took advantage and slid inside Rodney's mouth. He could only grind his hips as John's hands slipped inside his boxers, fingers groping the taut flesh of his ass, nails digging in. And then John stopped, removing his hands, stepping back, a mischievous look on his face.

"Uh, John, you've got *that* look."

John, of course, couldn't help the smirk and he shoved Rodney playfully, Rodney losing his balance and falling into the cold water.

"SON-OF-A-BITCH!" Rodney screamed, but he wasn't mad, not really and he retaliated by splashing John and before the two knew it they were soaking wet, freezing cold and kissing like it was the end of the world.

"The sun is almost down," John murmured in Rodney's ear. "I want to make love to you in the moonlight." Kisses down Rodney's face, his neck, his lips again. He picked up the large towel and dried them both, kissing Rodney again, the two dropping to the blanket. John took advantage yet again, quickly straddling Rodney's hips, taking Rodney's hands in his, interlacing their fingers. He pushed Rodney's arms over his head, his swollen dick rubbing against Rodney's. The friction was almost too much...almost. It became rougher, faster, both pleading for the other to come first, both intent on pleasing the other.

And when they came it was somehow together, slicking each other with their release, moaning each other's names reverently, a prayer to each.

When John finally stopped moving, when the world came back into focus, he was faced with a nervous Rodney who was chewing his lip yet again. "What's wrong, Rod?"

"Do you still love me?"

John stared into Rodney's eyes. "Of course I love you, Rodney. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. And I could have sworn you said the same thing as you came."

"I did," Rodney smiled, a smile John had never seen before. It was genuine and heartfelt and John had to bite back his own tears. Rodney moved on autopilot, his hand moving down their bodies, taking John's dick in hand. He stroked slowly, feeling it swell in his fist. "Teach me, John."

John responded by sliding his fingers through their come, those same fingers teasing Rodney's virgin hole. He was slow and gentle and let all the words, all the endearments flow from his mouth. Rodney was 'baby' and 'sweetheart' and 'honey' and 'lover'. He was everything John wanted and desired. Rodney was 'tight' and 'hot' and 'beautiful' and as John entered Rodney, Rodney opened for him, no resistance....

"My heart..." Rodney moaned as John slid inside him, "God, John, my very soul is yours...."

"No, no baby, not that. I'll take your heart, but not your soul."

Rodney placed his palm on John's face. "It's too late for that, John. You've owned it since the day you shot me."

"I'll always keep it safe, Rodney, I swear to you."

"I know you will...now shut up and fuck me."

"Ah, Rod, you are such a romantic...."

It was quick, both already at the edge and they came together once again, but this time Rodney passed out.

~~~

Rodney woke up to find himself dressed and covered with the blanket. He felt loved and cherished and...where was John? The man in question was suddenly at his side, tongue diving in for a deep kiss.

"Good evening, sunshine," John grinned.

"How long did we sleep?"

"Me, about an hour, you, two and a half. And you're cute when you sleep and you drool also."

"If you say so," Rodney smiled and stood up. He was immediately pulled into a hug and kissed senseless. "John, if you keep this up, we'll have nothing to do at a later date."

By the time they returned it was after eleven. Rodney attempted to say good-night in the hangar but John pulled him close and kissed him.

"Sleep in my bed with me," John whispered. "Please. I want this to be the best birthday ever." In truth, John wanted to spend his last twenty-four hours with Rodney. It would be the last time he'd ever have pleasure. After tonight his soul was damned. He would have nothing but suffering for the rest of eternity.

"Okay, John. But I do need to get a few things from my room. Much as I love you, I'm not sharing your toothbrush."

"And I think we should have a snack. I'll rendezvous with you in thirty minutes." John leaned in to kiss Rodney again. "Hey, what's with the stare?"

"Rendezvous," Rodney smiled shyly. "It's kinda...romantic."

"Oh, baby, I do so love romance." He grabbed Rodney and dipped him, "I love you," placing a kiss upon Rodney's mouth that left Rodney dizzy and breathless. John just sauntered out of the hangar and headed for the mess for some fresh fruit. He finally gathered enough varieties of mainland fruit and almost ran to a tube, wanting to get back to Rodney. He didn't have much time left and if he missed one more precious moment....the transport doors closed but wouldn't open. John stood there for a few seconds and then he smelled it, whirling at the sudden stench of death. "I have twenty-four hours left, dark one."

"Give me Rodney McKay's soul."

"NO!" John shouted.

"He has given you his soul freely, John Sheppard."

"You gave me forty-eight hours to find a soul to take my place and it will *not* be Rodney's. I'll find another."

"If you do not, and still refuse to go, I shall take Rodney McKay's in place of yours." Satan laughed, which to anyone *but* John would have been horrific. "I'll honor my end; but when midnight strikes, I'll be back." He laughed some more, taking John's chin in hand. "Unless you call upon me sooner." He drew their mouths close and John felt nothing but pure nausea. "Oh yes, John, we're going to have a lot of fun together."

John had no idea of what he was going to do now. His soul was damned. There was nobody left. He would spend his last hours with Rodney, making love. He exited the transport tube and headed to Rodney's room. As he rounded the corner he saw Elizabeth outside Rodney's quarters. The voices were low, but John didn't need to hear anything. Their eyes said it all.

This time John watched as Rodney got slapped in the face. He saw that same possessive look in Elizabeth's eyes...and fear in Rodney's. Rodney just nodded to her, ducked his head and disappeared into his room. John waited a moment before he came into Elizabeth's sight. He noticed that her whole demeanor had changed the moment she saw him, that she looked soft and vulnerable. John knew it was a lie. He blatantly hit on her and she responded. John kissed her softly, copping a feel, telling her they'd meet up later.

Elizabeth nodded to him with a leer as she turned to head to her own quarters, a few levels up.

John entered his room, the door closing behind him. His eyes narrowed as he calmed himself. He knew what he had to do. He sat there for a while, piecing everything together. He could *not* screw this up. "You'll have a soul before dawn," he muttered to the air, knowing Satan was listening for him. He went to Rodney's room, letting himself in, finding Rodney sitting on the bed, a frown on his face. "Hey, babe, I brought fruit."

Rodney brought his eyes up, shaking his head. "I'm not hungry."

"Rod, what's the matter?" John feigned ignorance. Rodney had to tell him what happened.

"I...you'll laugh."

John took a seat against the bedhead, pulling Rodney's back to his chest. "I promise I won't, Rodney." John kissed the top of his head, rubbing Rodney's stomach. "Talk to me. Please?"

"I'm being harassed and I don't know what to do."

"Nothing to be ashamed of, Rodney." John's fingers slid underneath Rodney's shirt and Rodney felt cold. John soothed small circles into the bare flesh, smiling as Rodney seemed to relax. "Tell me who's bothering you."

"Elizabeth."

"Weir?" Rodney stiffened and tried to sit up but John held tighter. "Hey, I'm sorry. I just find it difficult to believe that Liz would...."

Rodney did shove away this time, pacing across the room. "You don't believe me," he stilled, "but it's true. She wants things from me, things I don't want to give her." Rodney turned to face John and John was startled for a moment. Rodney had tears streaming down his face. "She scares me John."

John was immediately at his side, holding Rodney in his arms, soothing him with chaste kisses and soft touches. "I believe you, baby. I know you don't lie." He walked Rodney back to the bed, cradling Rodney in his arms. "I won't let her hurt you, Rodney."

"It's not me," Rodney sniffled, "it's you. She's going to hurt you if I refuse...."

"Hurt me?" John was confused. "She can't hurt me."

"Not *you* per se, John, but your career. She told me she'll send back a report to make Kavanagh's look like minor league stuff." Rodney's breath hitched. "I won't allow her to hurt you."

"Don't worry, Rod. She won't hurt me...or you. I promise." He kissed Rodney again. "I'll see Caldwell about it, leave it in his hands for a change."

"I thought you hated him."

"We came to an understanding, Rodney." He saw the stifled yawn and smiled. "It's all right to sleep."

Rodney's eyes slowly drifted shut. "Stay with me?"

"I will." John did stay, until Rodney's body grew heavy, until Rodney was in a deep sleep. It was only then that John was able to slide out of bed quietly, exiting the room via the balcony. He didn't need to take the chance that anyone would see where he was going. Two levels up and he stood in a corridor, walking to Elizabeth Weir's room.

He was still unsure as he thought the door to Elizabeth's room open. Maybe this was a mistake.

Elizabeth lay there naked, beckoning him to her bed.

John stripped off his clothes and joined her.

~~~

"Rodney will be in the way," John murmured as he knelt before her, fondling her breasts.

"Don't worry about him," Elizabeth sighed, tilting her head back so John could kiss her neck.

John pushed her onto her back, lifting her legs over his shoulders. "You going to take care of him?" John teased her clit with the tip of his dick, rubbing slow circles over the tiny nub.

"He'll be on the next flight back to Earth," she moaned, thrusting upwards, taking John inside her. "He'll be back working in the depths of Area 51 for a long time."

"I'm so glad you said that," John rolled his hips, screwing deeper. "It makes this so much easier."

"It does?" she sounded surprised, but his fingertips rolled her nipples and she gasped upon feeling the pain/pleasure.

"I was so confused, so lost. I didn't know what I was going to do." John pulled out, casually running his thumb over her clit again, his dick resting at her entrance, shoving in hard, making her cry out in sudden pain. Another hard thrust and his fingers strayed to her ass. "Has any man ever touched you there, Liz?"

"Don't...." her breathing was a bit rapid now, she was unsure if she wanted this and her eyes told him the same.

John knew he was in virgin territory and took full advantage. His dick rubbed against her, slowly sliding in deep, burying himself in her wetness. "You are so good, Liz...so very good." One of John's (dry) fingers slid inside her anus and she screamed, "Yeah, scream for me...." and John bent down and kissed her, sucking hard on her tongue. "You want me don't you, my dick in your wet cunt...fucking you hard...."

Elizabeth noticed his voice was flat, as if he were forcing the words out or reading from a script, but his dick shoved in hard and deep and made her forget. Two fingers rammed into her ass and he smothered another scream with his lips upon hers.

"Shhh," he soothed, "I like it like this." He continued to tease her with his dick, rubbing between her folds, his weight on her legs preventing any movements on her part.

Elizabeth struggled but John grabbed her hips and slid inside her wetness, fucking her harder still. She could only moan and thrust back against him. One hand played with her clit and the other found it's way to her ass again, dry fingers forcing their way inside. First one, teasing. Two, thrusting hard, causing a brief cry of pain. John slowed down, using the two fingers to stretch her a bit. "Does it hurt Elizabeth?" He didn't wait for an answer, biting her shoulder as he thrust in hard again from both ends.

This time three fingers stretched her painfully and he allowed her scream to permeate the air. The rooms were soundproofed anyway. But after a few minutes she grew used to him. And when she began to move in rhythm with him he released her mouth, kissing his way up, his breath hot on her ear. "Elizabeth, please, I need...."

"Anything, John, anything for you," she panted out, sweating and writhing beneath him, hands reaching for him.

"Your heart...tell me I have your heart."

"Yes, oh God, yes, John, always, my heart is yours...." she screamed as he pinched her nipples and a wave of pleasure overcame her.

"Your soul...give me your soul...tell me I own it." He was thrusting hard, knowing just where to touch her, how to touch her, what would bring her the most pleasure. "TELL ME!"

"Yes...yes, John, my soul is yours. You own it...."

He slowed down, his mouth drawn into a small, seductive smile. "You give me your soul freely, with no attachments, no fine print?"

"Yes...." Her eyes rolled back and she didn't see the grin that crossed his face.

"Thank you. I so appreciate it." He sighed as if relieved and shifted back, away from her, disgusted.

"John, why did you stop?"

Standing up, he loomed over her, his eyes changed. One minute prior they had the look of pure lust and need. But now, now the black eclipsed the hazel. John Sheppard was clearly angry. "I needed you, because I wasn't going to leave Rodney by himself."

Elizabeth moved to her knees, her fingers stroking his now flaccid dick. "I don't understand."

John removed her hand, picked up his clothing and got dressed. "Twenty years ago I wanted to fly, but my grades sucked. I was a straight-C student. I'd never cut it as an officer so I made a bargain in blood. My soul in exchange for straight A's. And thanks to my Grandmother, I managed to get twenty years to enjoy my life before I had to...depart this mortal realm. And, right on schedule, he came to collect me last night."

The words sunk into Elizabeth's head. "You're insane, John."

John ignored her. "I *never* considered you, I was going to leave you alone for Atlantis' sake. I thought she needed you. But after Rodney, after what you did to him, I changed my mind."

"I'm calling Beckett." Elizabeth reached for the com panel but John grabbed her by the wrists, dragging her to her feet.

"I couldn't let you hurt him. He means too much to me."

"You and Rodney?" Weir's eyes grew fiery, his talk of souls forgotten. "So you used me. I won't let this go, *Colonel*." She shoved him away this time, reaching for her clothing. "'Don't ask, don't tell' has just arrived on Atlantis." She finished getting dressed. "I'm going to have a talk with Colonel Caldwell." She walked to the door, "I'll have you charged with rape," motioning the sensors to open the door. It slid open and she walked forward but the door closed. She placed her hand on the motion detector, but still nothing.

"You're not leaving." John sighed and walked over to her, his hand as strong as a vise as he gripped her upper arm. He spun her around, staring deep into her eyes. "You made it simple, my dear, sweet Elizabeth." John leaned in, his lips brushing her ear. "I was still unsure when I came in here, but you were willing to sell Rodney out. Once I knew that, there were no more doubts in my mind."

"Doubts about what?" Elizabeth asked, convinced that John was having some sort of breakdown.

"Selling your soul."

"My soul?" Something in the way John was smiling gave her pause and a chill ran down her spine, goosebumps rising all over her body.

"It's mine now, to do with as I please." John pulled back. "Take her, she's yours. You have no further claim on me."

"Who are you talking to, John?" Elizabeth was frightened and it showed. She heard what sounded like fabric tearing and turned to see the wall ripping in two. "What's going on?" As Elizabeth watched, a thing stepped out and she knew what, and who, it was. It looked the same as the etchings she'd seen on cave drawings, on Egyptian pillars, on Mayan temples, even in American Indian villages. It laughed maniacally, deep from within it's throat.

"You have bought your soul back, John Sheppard. As you said, I have no further claim on you. Do not call upon me ever again."

"Don't worry," John almost sneered, "I won't."

Hands reached for her, hands that burned her skin. She screamed, but it was useless. As she was pulled into the void she screamed again. "NOOO!"

"You should have left Rodney alone," John sighed as the wall closed up. He used a washcloth and soap to clean the smell of sex away and exited Weir's quarters via the balcony. Nobody saw him reenter the city through a different level. He ran into Radek, another night owl. "Good evening, Zorro. Burning the midnight oil?"

"I believe correct response is 'fuck you, John', but I am too much of gentleman to say it." Zelenka snickered. "You are insomniac again this evening?"

"Yes and no. I'm heading to the mess to get some whipped cream. I think Rodney would like...." John stopped talking, thinking he'd said too much.

"Ah, you and Rodney have..." Radek was a bit hesitant, "...found each other, as love stories tell?"

"Smartass Czech," John snickered. "And yeah, that's exactly right. I wonder how Elizabeth will react."

"Tread gently with this, John. She has...'Fatal Attraction'...to him," Radek almost warned. "I fear that she will do harm to him one day. Rodney is a gentle man...at heart."

"I know, Zippy," John murmured.

"Smartass *Major*," Zelenka fired back, then grew serious. "Yet you kissed her. I saw you earlier."

"Radek, *she* kissed *me*." The lie dripped from his tongue with ease. "I should have told her about Rodney and I then, but I wanted to speak with Rodney first, see how he felt." John raised an eyebrow. "And a 'fatal attraction'? Don't you think that's a bit over the top?"

"No. I have heard stories of Elizabeth, from some of the personnel here. They are not all...nice. She is not always the person she appears to be."

"None of us are," John replied.

"No...John...you are good man, like Rodney. You keep him...grounded, so his head does not swell so large."

"Somebody has to do it," John nodded. "And what about you? Is there a special person in your life?"

"You pay much attention to Rodney and you neglect to notice that Major Lorne and I have been working late in hangar bay?"

"Lorne? I thought he was just making the jumpers light up for you."

Radek smirked. "He makes things light up, not necessarily jumpers." That said, Radek almost bounced to a transport tube, mumbling about jumper three needing a midnight 'tune-up'.

"HEY Z!" John shouted, the tube doors remaining open. John walked over and smiled. "You're a good man also. I wanted to tell you."

Radek nodded in silent thanks and the doors closed.

John returned to Rodney, slipping under the sheets, Rodney's arm reaching around him.

"Where'd you go?" Rodney murmured.

"The mess. I wanted to wake you up with whipped cream." John turned around and kissed his lover. "They were out. Then I ran into Z and we talked. Did you know about him and Lorne?"

"Yeah," Rodney smiled shyly. "Radek and I came to the conclusion we both liked pretty boys."

"You think Lorne is pretty?" John tried to look hurt, but failed.

"Not as pretty as you, John. *Nobody* is as pretty as you. If they held a pretty-boy contest here you'd win..." Rodney began to giggle, "...with Major Lorne a close second."

John's hand slid down Rodney's body, fisting Rodney's dick. "Mmm, this had better not be from carnal thoughts about Major Lorne."

"Just carnal thoughts about Lieutenant Colonel's."

"Such as....?" John prompted, jerking Rodney a little faster, a bit harder....

"I want to be inside you. Can I? Would you let me?" Rodney was asking for the ultimate level of trust.

John knew it and his stroking slowed. "Yes, Rodney, I do trust you, with my very soul." Those words gave Rodney control over John's destiny.

As Rodney slid inside him, feeling the heat, he knew he wouldn't last. He rode John hard, tuning out everything but John's tight ass around his dick and John's screams of pleasure and when he came he fought the urge to pass out.

John on the other hand, was out cold, a look of utter bliss on his face. Rodney cleaned them and held John close, not even attempting to wake the man up. Whatever had been bothering John had obviously been taken care of. Rodney whispered his promise to always keep John's soul safe.

And for the first time in twenty years John Sheppard slept the sleep of the peaceful.

~~~

John and Rodney went to see Caldwell first thing in the morning, but Rodney only lasted thirty seconds before he fled the room, too embarrassed to speak. So John spoke for him, explaining Elizabeth's harassment of Rodney.

"She hit on McKay?" Caldwell raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," John stated, wondering if he had sold the wrong soul.

"She hit on me," Caldwell grimaced.

"You?"

"That thought seems to bother you, Colonel."

"No sir." John took a deep breath. He was about to risk everything and he had to. He wasn't going to hide in the closet with Rodney. "Rodney and I...we're moving in together." John nodded firmly.

"O-kay," Caldwell stared at John. "And this bothers me...why?"

"'Don't ask, don't tell'...sir."

"Sheppard, I don't care if you take up residence with a goat and two chickens. Is it going to affect your command decisions with McKay in the field?"

"No," John almost sneered. "I'll still threaten to kill and maim him each chance I get."

"Than I don't care what you do in your personal life." Caldwell returned to the file in front of him. "And I'll have a...chat...with Doctor Weir later today."

"Thanks."

"Whatever."

~~~

"John, have you seen Elizabeth?" Rodney asked when they met in the mess at lunchtime.

"No, why?"

"I've been looking for her and it's like she disappeared."

"Disappeared, Rodney? C'mon, it's not like she could just take a flight to Europe. I'm sure she'll show up."

"You're right, she couldn't just disappear from the city. John," Rodney smiled, "let's find her and try to make nice. Tell her that we still care about her as a friend."

"I'll *try* Rodney," John said.

They didn't find Elizabeth. By evening the city went into red alert and by the next morning, against orders, John took a jumper out to search for her. Over the next three weeks he searched various planets on the thin hope that she had somehow been kidnapped right under their noses and taken to another world. Caldwell eventually called off the search.

John fought him, even risking a court-martial when he took a jumper out without permission again. But Rodney and Teyla and Bates and even Caldwell begged him to stop, that if Elizabeth Weir was alive they'd find her eventually. It took the real threat of a court martial and being grounded to stop John, but he agreed.

He'd put on a good enough act for them. If he hadn't been so concerned, so manic, they would have suspected something. But when he was alone he'd smile to himself. They'd never find Elizabeth...oh, maybe Acastus Kolya would run into her someday, maybe even Kavanagh and most certainly Robert Kinsey...but not John and most definitely *not* Rodney.

John felt guilt in the beginning, but it lessened over time. He'd lean in the doorway of Rodney's lab, watching him. Rodney would eventually look up from his work, smile a happy smile and say "I love you but get the Hell out of my lab," and John would leave.

He slowly discovered Elizabeth got what she deserved. She had hit on Bates, threatening to have his field promotion to Lieutenant turned down if he didn't sleep with her. She'd hit on Beckett and Teyla and Stackhouse and others as well. And Rodney had called *him* a slut?

And John Sheppard was never so pleased as when Rodney McKay was made Governor of Atlantis. He made a crack about sleeping with his boss and they celebrated with Rodney tying John to the bed and ravishing him.

~~~

EPILOGUE

"You are ours Atlantean, to do with as we please."

The Wraith advanced upon Elizabeth, but she had nowhere to run. It grabbed her and shoved her against the wall, it's palm upon her chest, sucking the life right out of her. She felt her life force leaving her, felt the pain as her body aged...she screamed....

....and shot up in her bed, catching her breath. "A dream. Thank God, it was just a dream." She hit the com panel. "Doctor Beckett, I need to see you in my quarters." She received no reply and got dressed, wandering into the corridor. There was nobody around. As she rounded a corner she saw it and it saw her. She turned to run but faced another one. "SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

"You are ours Atlantean, to do with as we please."

The Wraith advanced upon Elizabeth, but she had nowhere to run. It grabbed her and shoved her against the wall, it's palm upon her chest, sucking the life right out of her. She felt her life force leaving her, felt the pain as her body aged...she screamed....

....and shot up in her bed, catching her breath. "A dream. Thank God, it was just a dream." She hit the com panel. "Doctor Beckett, I need to see you in my quarters." She received no reply and got dressed, wandering into the corridor. There was nobody around. As she rounded a corner she saw it and it saw her. She turned to run but faced another one. "SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

"You are ours Atlantean, to do with as we please."

And so it would be for eternity.

After all, nobody ever said Hell was a pleasant place.

FIN