Playing Games

by The Huntress

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/ash/huntress/playingg.php
Summary: Rodney saves the day and attempts revenge on John, but of course his plan backfires

It was a very nice planet, lively, bright lights, happy people...and a gambling casino. John likened it to Las Vegas. He made a loud fuss when the team were told they had to check their weapons at the door, but Teyla assured him that everyone had to do the same. Weapons were always returned upon leaving.

"You don't need Ford and I for the negotiations, do you?" John asked.

"No, Major Sheppard," Teyla smiled.

Rodney didn't smile. "Why?" After all this time he had grown wary about leaving the two men on their own. Trouble seemed to follow them, more so then it followed him, and it was usually Sheppard leading Ford into it. The Major had a knack of conning the younger man into almost anything and Ford always followed.

"I just thought Ford and I could wander around, get to know the people, their culture."

"So now you're an anthropologist?"

"Actually," Ford grinned, "I minored in anthropology in college. Interesting subject."

"I don't care," Rodney told him point blank.

"We'll be fine, McKay," John answered. "So go and negotiate for whatever you can." As soon as they left he smirked at Ford. "Viva Las Vegas. Let's hit the tables."

"With what, sir? We don't have currency."

"Ah, Lieutenant, who needs currency? Haven't you ever heard of the barter system?"

"Major, maybe this isn't such a good idea. The last time you tried something like that, I was traded for a goat and two chickens."

"A misunderstanding with the locals."

"How about when you nearly got me married to the Olsen Twin wannabes?"

"We found out in time that they loved others, didn't we? And what was wrong with twin blondes anyway?"

"Remember P2S-564? The makeshift bungee-jump? I limped for three days and you broke two ribs."

"Aiden, relax. This is just a casino. What could possibly go wrong?"

Four hours later....

~~~

"Ford, we're totally screwed," John grimaced.

"I told you we should have stuck to that poker game!" Ford fired back.

"WHAT?! I seem to remember you telling me that you could shoot pool. And I quote, 'Major, I am one of the best pool players you have ever seen. We can get all our stuff back in no time.' And I believed you, oh yes I did. At least at the poker table I could count cards and keep us ahead."

"You could count cards? Then how did you lose the 'Jumper, sir! Not to mention our Power bars and my Swiss army knife. And how could you bet the 'Jumper?!"

"I had three kings!"

"And he had four aces!"

"I would have won it back!" John shivered slightly. "I want my jacket."

"Trading in three cards was a stupid move."

"I like that jacket."

"And since we have the same boot size, I get yours."

"No way."

"My feet are cold, John," Aiden whined, staring down. "You lost my boots to an inside straight!"

"And I lost my Gameboy!" John glared at him. "And then you started with the pool and what happens? We don't even own ourselves anymore."

"Oh God, here come Rodney and Teyla." Ford looked ready to cry.

John swallowed hard. "We are in so much trouble."

"Wait a second." Ford seemed to brighten. "You're the Major, CO, in charge. I'm a marine. Why are we so afraid?"

"Have you ever seen McKay when he's angry?"

"Yes, sir." The younger man's face fell. "We're doomed, sir. Deep shit, sir."

"Waist deep, Ford," John muttered. "Maybe higher."

"Okay," Rodney said, "we have made a trade agreement for some...wheat. Let's retrieve the weapons and head back to the 'Jumper. I'm still kind of nervous over having to leave them at the door."

"Do not fear, Rodney," Teyla smiled. "As I explained, the Palma are honorable and will return our weapons."

"About the 'Jumper...." John started.

"Yeah," Ford added, "there's a slight problem."

"Problem?" Rodney gave them what John called 'the glare', which was known to drive even the most hardened marines to hide in supply closets. "Dare I ask what the two of you did while we were gone?"

"No," Ford said quickly, "don't dare."

"Talk," Rodney told them.

"We just...played some poker," John shrugged.

"And....?" Rodney's voice had an edge to it and John winced in slight fear.

"It was Ford's fault! He told me I had a sure thing with three kings!"

"My fault?" Ford shook his head. "Why do you always blame me? I told you to stop three hands before, but did you? Noooo. 'Just one more hand, Lieutenant,' you said. And before I knew it, he loses my boots."

Rodney found it funny and began to giggle. "Your boots?"

"And my Swiss army knife," Ford continued, "and his jacket, Gameboy, Power bars and...."

Rodney shook his head at them like an irate parent. "You would think that by now I would know better then to leave you two unsupervised."

A large hulking man came over. "So, you," he smiled at John like a rattlesnake, "where is your ship? Or should I say my ship?"

"Ship?" Rodney snarled the word, turning back to John and Aiden, who had suddenly developed a fixation on the artwork adorning the walls. "You lost the 'JUMPER?!"

"Oh that's not all," John replied, with a very nervous laugh.

"Why am I not surprised?" Rodney rolled his eyes. "What else, Major?"

"'Minnesota Fats' over here bet the two of us...US...during a pool game."

"I only missed one ball," Ford insisted.

"Yeah, the first one. Then Bluto there sunk the rest one after the other. So now I'm cold, hungry, without my Donkey Kong and I don't even own myself anymore."

"Let me get this straight," Rodney nodded to the man. "They have lost not only the ship, but their....?" He waved his hands in the air.

"Yeah," the large man answered, licking his lips. "I've never had me two pretty boys at the same time. It's a new concept."

"Look, Bluto...."

Rodney was shoved. "The name is Philo."

"Okay, Philo, they couldn't lose the ship because..." Rodney thought quick, "...it doesn't belong to them. It's mine. As for...themselves," Rodney stared at John and Aiden so intently that both men backed away, "well, let's just say they belong to both myself and this lovely lady here. So if you will kindly get out of our way, we will all leave peacefully and quietly. You can keep the boots, the jacket and all the other items with my compliments."

"I want my Gameboy."

"Shut up, Major or I swear I'll...."

John got a look at Rodney's eyes and tried to hide behind Ford. Damn, McKay was scary when he was pissed.

"I don't think so," Philo retorted, joined by a few other men.

"O-kay," Rodney knew when to back down. "How about we shoot a game of pool for all of it?"

"You?" Philo began to laugh. "You want to shoot against me?"

"I can...try," Rodney said meekly. "I know how to play."

"Why not?" Philo eyed Rodney up and down, still laughing. "But when you lose, I get to keep you too."

"It's a deal."

"Get a stick."

Rodney reached for one and knocked them all over. "Sorry." He got chalk all over, knocked the balls down as he attempted to rack them, dropping one on Aiden's foot. "Oops."

"That hurt," Aiden said.

"I know," Rodney replied, knocking John in the stomach with the end of the cue stick.

"That hurt too."

"I'm glad," Rodney smirked and prepared to play.

Two losing games later, Rodney stood there, shrugging. "I tried Major, Lieutenant. I guess I'm just not good enough."

John studied Philo. "Well, Aiden, he gets you first."

"Actually," Philo grinned, "I get this one first." He put his arm around Rodney's shoulder. "I hope you like whips, boy."

"Boy?" Rodney stared at him, wide-eyed. "How about one more game, winner take all?"

"I don't think so."

"You win, I give you the woman also." Rodney turned and winked at Teyla.

For some reason that made Teyla feel a bit better and not so homicidal. Whatever Rodney had planned, well, it was sure to be good. He would never do anything like that without a plan and she knew it.

"Just one more," Rodney pleaded. "If I win this one, I get everything they lost."

"Rodney," John almost growled, "you don't need to play another game. You need to...phone home and tell mother Weir what happened."

"Yeah," Ford nodded vehemently. "And...mother Bates also. Tell...tell her to send Stacks and Timmerman and...ANYBODY."

"Is it a deal?" Rodney asked, ignoring his CO. When he got a nod he simply said, "Rack 'em up."

"Ya know what," Philo told him, "why don't you shoot first. You'll get your shot out of the way, I can sink them all and then you and I can take a walk over there." He nodded to the back room, where men and women had been going and coming all evening.

"Fine by me." Rodney looked at his two friends. "I'm not a complete geek." He smirked at Philo, picking up his cue, but this time he was smooth, picking up the chalk and wiping it on the end of the cue.

"Well Lieutenant," John said quietly, "it's been a nice couple of years. I really liked having adventures with you."

"I'm going to lose my virginity to a...a pig, sir," Aiden whimpered quietly. "I was sort of hoping that Teyla and I...."

"You're a virgin?"

"Yes sir. Laugh if you like, but I never met the right person. Not until Teyla."

"She's a nice girl and I'm sure your parents would have liked her."

"You really think so, sir?"

"Of course. She's pretty, intelligent, self-confident...if I was your parent, I'd approve. As for me, I was sort of hoping for...." John stopped, feeling his cheeks growing warm.

"Doctor Weir?"

"Actually, I've sort of wanted Rodney for a while."

"You're gay, John?"

"Does it bother you?"

"No. It would bother me if you wanted Kavanagh or Zalenka."

"Zalenka's having an affair with Beckett and as for Calvin, well, let's just say I don't want to get into a fistfight with Bates."

"Bates? I thought Calvin and Peter...."

"Oh no," John replied with a shake of his head. "Peter's with Kate. He never has to worry about flunking a psych eval ever again."

"Rodney's up. And it has been fun, Major. Thanks for...just...thanks."

"I know, Aiden. Me too."

Rodney told them, standing at the end of the table, positioning the cue between his fingers. "Here goes...." He broke, one ball going in a corner pocket. "Ooh, lucky thirteen. I guess I'm stripes." He smiled and studied the table. "Eleven in the side." The ball went in. "Let's see...three into the ten, which should knock the ten into the corner and the fifteen into the side pocket." He made the shot and stood there for a moment. "I don't have much time so...." Three shots and four balls later Rodney was focused on the eight ball. "Corner pocket...that corner." He shrugged and made the shot. "Okay, game over, I take my men home along with their stuff."

Philo got in Rodney's face. "You cheat."

"And you don't?" Rodney replied quite snidely.

"You," Philo laughed loudly, "you will be welcome back here at any time. But those two...I do not know which one belongs to you, but that one," he nodded to John, "deserves a whipping."

"Among other things."

John and Aiden gathered up their belongings, Aiden happily putting on his boots.

"Thanks McKay," John grinned. "Can we play blackjack now?"

"NO!"

"The roulette wheel?"

"MOVE!" Rodney told them.

"Yes sir!" The two replied, running to the front, getting their weapons and running as fast as they could to the 'Jumper.

"You know, Aiden, we can leave Rodney here and we'll be safe. We'll send Bates back for him."

"And then what?" Ford asked.

"We can hide on that nice jungle planet with all those trees and caves."

"Fly, Major," Rodney's soft voice said from behind them. "Get us some altitude."

"Why, McKay? I thought you hated heights," John chuckled.

"So I can throw you out!"

"Doctor McKay...." Ford started.

"Don't you 'Doctor McKay' me! You're getting thrown out right after him! Two stupid idiots, that's what you are. You," Rodney shook his head at John, "how you ever made it to Major is beyond me."

"You're not being very nice," John pouted. "I mean, me and Aiden, we only started gambling so we could buy something for you and Teyla. Right, Aiden?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, right, Major...John. Yeah. We, uh, there was a souvenir stand and...."

"Did I tell you that you could speak?!" Rodney snapped. "Be thankful that Teyla and I have agreed to not tell...mother Weir...what the two of you did." He narrowed his eyes at John. "And you deserve a spanking for your behavior."

"Promise?" John smiled shyly, ready to burst out laughing at Rodney's shocked look.

"What is a virgin, Aiden?" Teyla asked innocently.

"You heard?" Ford's voice cracked.

"My hearing is excellent."

"I, uh," Ford blushed, "I've never been with a woman before."

"And I have never been with a man. Perhaps neither one of us shall be a virgin for much longer."

"You're not going to spank me, are you?" Ford asked fearfully.

"What is a spanking?" Teyla asked. "I have never heard that word before."

John got the most malicious grin, watching as Ford shook his head quickly.

"No sir, please. I'll do anything. Really."

"Anything?"

"Yes sir. Anything."

John thought for a moment and shook his head. "Nope." He then went into a very graphic description of a spanking.

"Is that not painful, John?" Teyla asked with a slight wince.

"It can be," Rodney added while glaring at John.

"It can be fun also," John snickered, which quickly turned into a full fledged laugh.

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?"

"Rodney, you should really be more pleasant to your pilot." John drove the 'Jumper into a straight nose-dive, turning to see the panicked look on Rodney's face. "Ya know, I think you owe me an apology."

"NEVER!"

"Okay...." John waited until they were almost at the ground, until Rodney had changed various colors before turning stark white. Then he turned and headed straight up, then looped around and headed for the 'gate. He shook his head as Ford put his hand on the DHD, flying through the 'gate, up again, down again, with a few loop-de-loops thrown in for good measure. Laughing, he leveled out, heading back to the 'gate. "Open the door Ford." They sent the signal and went through, John still laughing as he managed one small loop before returning the 'Jumper to what he called his 'primo parking spot'. "Did you like that McKay?" He glanced at Ford, who suddenly jumped out of his seat, his eyes moving to Rodney, who lurched forward, face tinged a sickening green. "McKay...Rodney, no...don't....RODNEY!" John couldn't get out of the way quick enough and was soon covered in the food Rodney had eaten earlier in the day.

"I hate you Sheppard," Rodney exited the jumper and barfed again, mortified as he faced a half dozen marines, before heading to his quarters.

John followed, nearly getting sick himself as he looked down at his uniform. "Ford, clean up our 'Jumper. I'm going to get changed."

"You clean it up. It was your fault. You and your flying maneuvers."

John narrowed his eyes, growling, "Clean it up, Lieutenant," as he left the hangar.

"It's a hard-knock life for me," Ford grumbled.

"I will help you Aiden," Teyla smiled. "For the sooner we make it clean, the sooner we may forego our virginity together."

Aiden Ford's whole face lit up and he went off on a search for some cleaning supplies, humming 'My Girl' as he exited the hangar bay.

~~~

One shower and change of clothing later and John met briefly with Elizabeth, giving her a quick, and abridged, explanation. He told her a trade agreement had been reached and admitted to his flying escapades and what he had done to Rodney. Chewing on his lip like a little boy, he asked if he could be excused to make amends and Elizabeth agreed.

Carson, who had been there, had a hard time stifling his giggles as he told John he'd keep a spare bed available after Rodney got through with him.

John countered that he was personally going to train Zalenka to defend himself and maybe Carson should keep two beds available for after they got through with the training.

Carson shut up.

~~~

"McKay?" John didn't knock, letting himself in, hearing the shower. "Why is he still in there? We've been back for almost an hour." He heard the water go off and sat down, waiting for Rodney to come out.

"What do you want?" Rodney pretty much sneered. "Did you come to make fun of me?"

"I'm not gonna make fun of you," John smiled. "And I didn't mean to...get you sick either."

"I threw up in front of the marines. They're going to laugh at me."

"No they won't," John tried to soothe. "I'll order them not to."

"It won't help, you know. They're marines."

"I am really sorry."

"No you're not."

"Yeah, I am. I didn't know you'd get sick like that. And I brought you a peace offering." He dumped a dozen Power bars on the table. "My rations for the next couple of weeks."

"I don't want...."

"Tough, they're yours."

"That, by far, was the stupidest thing you have done in all the time I have known you."

"But I want you to have them."

"Not the Power bars! I'm keeping those. Losing the 'Jumper. And once again you dragged poor Aiden into one of your schemes. What would have happened if Teyla and I hadn't come back when we did?"

"Nothing," John smirked. "Bluto wouldn't have been able to fly it and if he made me, I would have flown back here. And I think we should have a little chat about this controlling attitude of yours."

"I'm not controlling."

"Yes you are and I kind of like it. I've always wondered if you're the same in here."

"What do you mean, 'in here'"?

"The bedroom. Do you tell your lovers what to do?"

"What?"

"You heard me, McKay." John narrowed his eyes, clearly leering, eyeing Rodney from head to toe. "And you said I deserved a spanking." John pulled his shirt off, sitting down and undoing his boots, which were quickly removed, followed by his pants and briefs. He smirked and snatched the towel which was still draped around Rodney's waist. "There, now we're even. So what'cha gonna do?"

Rodney did the only thing he could do...he pounced, flattening John to the bed. "I'm not going to spank you, Major. That's what you want, so you're not going to get it." He kissed John hard, sucking on his tongue, mouth all over John's face, nibbling on his ear, blowing hot breath, lacing his fingers with John's, pushing his arms back. "Don't move."

John stayed still, as Rodney picked up his shirt, binding John's arms to the bedhead.

"I have a safe word, McKay."

"I'll just bet you do," Rodney answered. "What is it?"

"Wraith."

"I'll be listening for it."

"You won't hear it."

Another kiss from Rodney, who seemed to have grown another hand plus another set of lips. Both were everywhere at once and John couldn't keep up. His nipples were alternately sucked, nipped and laved, his neck was bruised with a couple of hickeys; every time John tried to catch his breath it was stolen by a deep kiss and his head was spinning. The lips then swept their way down his abdomen, causing louder moans and a scream when Rodney nuzzled the sensitive area along his hip. Rodney's mouth found its way to John's dick, blowing on the head, tongue dipping into the tiny slit, fist grasping hard, mouth going down.

"McKay...oh God...ahhh, fuck that's good...."

It seemed a bit rushed to John, but he shrugged that thought off; McKay was just being overzealous as usual.

Rodney sucked John deep, fondling his balls, teasing his ass with a finger, waiting for it....

"GONNA COME!"

....and Rodney backed off.

"Why'd you stop?" John panted.

"Punishment." Rodney got dressed. "I think this is better then a spanking." He smirked again. "I'm going to get something to eat." He walked to the door, looking back over his shoulder. "I'll be back in an hour...or four."

"McKay! Get back here and untie me!"

"See you later...Major Sheppard." The door closed behind him, his laughter floating into John's ears.

"Son-of-a-bitch!" John growled, pulling at his bindings. "I'm going to kill him. Tear him to pieces. Wipe that smug smile off his face." It took him a while, but he finally managed to get himself loose. As he calmed down, he decided that killing Rodney, although tempting, was not the way to go. "Rodney McKay, I am going to make you beg and scream and moan until you don't know the difference between a ZPM and a nine volt battery."

~~~

"Oh shit," Rodney swallowed hard, finally realizing he'd been gone for nearly two hours. Before he went back to his room, he stopped by the mess, begging Hart to make waffles, John's favorite. He entered the room cautiously, tray in hand, not seeing John on the bed "Uh-oh."

"Hello McKay," John's voice was almost melodic in his ear. "Forget something?"

"Simpson needed some help and I...."

John cut him off. "Waffles?"

"Yeah, with syrup. Sort of syrup anyway."

"I can live without the waffles, but the syrup is another story."

"You know that holding me responsible for being forgetful isn't fair. I'm one of those...uh...absent-minded professor types."

"Put the tray down."

Rodney set it on the table, afraid to turn around. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry, McKay? Now what would you have to be sorry for?" John blew in his ear. "Sorry for tying me up?" John grabbed the hem of Rodney's shirt, pulling it up so he could finger both nipples. "Sorry for leaving me tied up?" He reached down, sticking a finger in the syrup, bringing his finger to Rodney's lips, gasping as it was licked. He undid Rodney's pants, his hand snaking inside the front, lightly caressing Rodney's dick, grinding his own against Rodney's ass. "Now this is nice." He kissed Rodney's neck, licking back up to his ear. "I love you McKay, and I have a sneaking suspicion you feel the same."

"And you'd be right."

"So what are we going to do about it?"

"You can start by calling me Rodney."

"If you start calling me John." Rodney finally turned around and John kissed him, taking hold of Rodney's arms. "Hands behind your back."

"No." Rodney's eyes were feral; he was challenging John.

"Don't make me get rough with you, McKay."

"Oh, so we're back to McKay, are we? Give it your best shot."

John laughed, but it wasn't a humorous sound, grabbing Rodney and shoving him on the bed. "You do what I say, understand?" He straddled him before Rodney could move, binding his wrists to the bedhead, leaving enough room so he could roll Rodney over if and when he chose. "Now I'm going to do what I want." He pulled Rodney's shoes off, tickling his feet, hearing the giggles. "Giggling Rodney? It's so un-scientistlike." Rodney's pants seemed to disappear, along with his boxers. "Let's get down to business." He grabbed Rodney's shirt by the collar and ripped it straight down the middle, attacking Rodney's nipples, sucking on one, fingering the other, switching, Rodney bucking up at him. "Okay, babe, before we go further, I need to know...what's your safe word?"

"Stop."

"Stop? I should have known."

"It's simple and easy to remember. Now, Major, I believe you said something about making me pay."

"Making you pay...yeah." John rolled Rodney over, shifting off the bed. "Don't worry. I'm not so mean as to leave you like this." He brought over the cup of syrup, straddling Rodney's legs, dribbling some syrup down Rodney's ass, the sweet odor wafting up to John's nose.

"What are you doing, John?"

"I like syrup." He spread Rodney wide, swiping his tongue along the crack, hearing a soft "Oh my fucking God!" which made him smile. "Never had a tongue up your ass, Rodney?" Another swipe. "You taste better then waffles." His tongue darted in and out, hands holding Rodney open, listening to more moans, more curses, more begging.

"John, I need to touch you. I can't take this anymore."

"Tell me your safe word and I'll untie you in a heartbeat." He continued with his licking, ignoring Rodney's pleas to be untied. "You're just so beautiful like this, so vulnerable."

"John, please, let me go." Rodney was pulling at his wrists, writhing all over, trying to get loose. He was beginning to panic and didn't even comprehend his safe word.

But to John, the lack of the safe word meant that Rodney was still playing and he kept up the slow torturous movements.

"NO MORE!"

John froze, glancing up at a terrified Rodney. "Jesus," he reached up to untie him, "you're supposed to use your safe word." The look on Rodney's face gave him the answer he was afraid of. "That's why you told me 'stop' was your safe word. You don't have one. Dammit, Rodney, I could have hurt you!"

Rodney pulled his knees up, hugging himself, shaking. "I didn't know what to do."

"You didn't know...." Realization dawned on John. "You've never been with a man before, have you?" Rodney shook his head. "I thought you were a bit sloppy with your blow-job, but I figured you were just nervous."

"I was afraid you wouldn't like me if I told you."

"I let you tie me up. That should have told you something."

"I guess so, Major," Rodney said softly, turning over, burying his face in the pillow. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"First, it's never to be Major in the bedroom, only John. Second, you'll see me right now, because we're going to bed. I'm tired."

"Don't you have an early morning meeting with Bates? Uh, he'll go to your quarters and you won't be there."

"You're right." John got dressed and left and Rodney was crestfallen.

"You screwed up again, McKay." Rodney cleaned himself up and got back into bed, biting back tears, wondering how long it was going to be before Sheppard threw him off his team. He heard the door open a few minutes later, peeking out from under the covers to see John coming back in. "Did you forget something?"

"Yeah," John grinned. "My toothbrush. Knowing you, you wouldn't want to share yours. And I had to tell Bates where to find me if I oversleep."

"You never oversleep."

"As a norm, no." John stripped so quickly, Rodney wrenched his neck watching. He pulled back the covers, jumping in, covering them both, snuggling close, head on Rodney's chest. "Why must you keep it so damn cold in here?"

"John, what are you doing?"

"I'm cuddling."

"Cuddling?"

"I like to cuddle, okay?"

"With me?"

"No, Rodney, with Elizabeth. That's why I'm here with you."

"You like to cuddle," Rodney repeated.

"Is there an echo in here?" John sighed. "Rodney, I love you and I want to snuggle with you and keep warm because this room is colder then Antarctica at Christmas." He tilted his head up, stealing a kiss. "And tomorrow I am going to teach you how to make love with me. And when we're done with that, you and I are going to have a talk about safe words and sex games."

"If you love me," Rodney snickered, "does this mean you'll come to my lab to test out any Ancient device?"

"I said I loved you Rodney. Don't push it."

"Just asking."

"Just answering. Now go to sleep."

"Yes John."

~~~

"You gotta stop her." Ford was panting as he ran into Rodney's quarters. "She won't leave me alone. I haven't had any sleep in two days."

"And this is a bad thing?" John snickered.

"I need some sleep! Four times so far tonight."

"Four times?" John and Rodney both gaped at him.

"If I didn't get out of there, we'd be at number five or six by now. The human body is not meant to go so many times!"

"Four times?" John smirked at Rodney. "I think I'm divorcing you and marrying him."

"Hide me." Ford was begging. "Please?"

John stood and peeked outside the room, seeing Teyla. "Hey, he's in here!"

Teyla came in, a big grin on her race. Taking Ford by the arm she said, "Come along Aiden. We have much free time."

Ford just glared at John. "I hate you."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure you do. Hey Teyla, take it easy on him, would you? I need him fit for duty."

"He will be fit for duty, Major. I promise you that." She dragged Aiden out, as he continued to stare daggers at John.

"Divorcing me John?"

"Four times Rodney. You only made it to three."

"The night's not over yet, John."

John grinned maliciously, crossing his wrists over his head.

Rodney held up a strip of cloth. "John, what do you use for a safe word if you're gagged?"

"You'll figure it out, Rodney, of that I have no doubt."

~~~

Epilogue

"C'mon Ford, the natives are friendly."

"I can't Major," Ford answered quietly. "I'm not allowed to play with you offworld anymore unless we're supervised."

"I can make it an order."

"But Teyla said she'd spank me if I didn't behave. I'm afraid."

John looked hurt. "Okay, if you don't want to have fun, I understand."

"I like having fun, but Teyla...."

John just shrugged and looked at his feet, kicking at some dirt. "I'll just go back to the 'Jumper and wait for the negotiations to finish."

Ford was starting to feel guilty. "Okay, I'll go over with you."

"Cool. Let's go Aiden." John patted him on the back as they walked over to the men appearing to be playing some sort of electronic horseshoe game. He reached into his pack with a smirk. "Gentlemen, do you know how to play poker? And what is that? Because I have something called a Power bar to trade...."

As he sat down to teach them, he grinned. Rodney was going to be plenty pissed off and that made John a very happy man.

If he was lucky, he wouldn't be able to sit for a few days.

FIN