Working Stiff

by The Huntress

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/ash/huntress/wstiff.php
Summary: What exactly is John's job?

"What's my job, Rodney?"

"You're bored aren't you, John."

"Well, yeah. I was trying to figure out what it is I do, or what I'm *supposed* to do, around here, but I don't know."

"You are the military commander of the Atlantis outpost in the galaxy of Pegasus," Rodney answered matter-of-factly and went back to his computer.

"And....?" John prompted.

Rodney sighed. He knew his time of peace and quiet wouldn't last. "You...write mission reports."

"We haven't been on one in two weeks."

"Making nice with the Athosian's. *That's* your job."

"Holling's still is working better since I fixed it," John grinned. "And all the Athosian's now know how to play football and poker."

"No, Major, relations with them."

"I don't want to have relations with *any* of them!" John fired back, then turned red when he realized how he'd answered.

"I should hope not," Rodney snickered. "What about the Marines? Don't you do spot inspections?"

"Inspect what? That their beds are made? That their uniforms are pressed? It's not like we're going to have an inspection by the Pentagon. Besides," John added sheepishly, "I can't exactly inspect *them* when my own room is a pigsty, courtesy of my...roommate."

"I am *not* a slob!"

"Yes you are, Rodney. I cleaned up this morning. There are new life forms growing in our room. I could have sworn one of your shirts was moving on it's own."

Now John had Rodney thinking. "What about keeping the peace between your p eople?"

John shook his head quickly. "I tried that. Remember what happened when I got in the middle of that fight between Ford and Bates? Who ended up in the infirmary? Not them."

"Exploring the city!" Rodney said triumphantly. "You can get into places Atlantis won't allow anyone else."

"But that's not a job, Rodney," John pouted.

"No, John, it's not a job, it's an adventure."

"That's the Navy," John growled.

"Navy, Air Force, I'm Canadian. It's all the same to me."

"At least we don't have Mounties." John smiled a bit. "Our people don't wear bright red uniforms."

"Neither do ours! They're sort of...not red. And why should it matter? You're one of the few, the proud...."

"THOSE ARE THE MARINES!"

"What do I know? Aren't you being all you can be?"

"That's the Army, you moron!"

"I prefer jackass, thank you very much," Rodney smirked. "By the way, just what is the Air Force's slogan?"

"Aim High. Cross Into The Blue."

"Sorry I asked. No wonder most of your people join the Army or Navy. I'd rather be all that I could be and have an adventure."

The levity was lost on John, who sat down, running his hands through his hair. "Everybody has a job but me." He folded his arms, laying his head down. "All I do is make Ancient stuff light up."

"Just last month," Rodney began, "that mission we went on with the Marines. You and Bates planned it all out. You spent almost a week going over every detail."

"And we all got alien poison ivy!"

"The Jumpers," Rodney nodded. "Didn't you fix one the other day?"

"No, Rodney. Zelenka's hand got stuck in a panel and I used the gene to open it so he could get free."

"Inventory."

"Inventory of what? Ammunition? Bates took over that job. Food? After that plant I discovered, that looked and smelled good, gave half the base botulism I was barred from the kitchens for life. And Markham's been doing supply runs to the mainland since he started making goo-goo eyes at that redhead."

Rodney was at a loss. He never thought he'd see a morose John Sheppard. Of course, being a genius, the proverbial lightbulb went off over his head. "You make sure I don't lose track of time in the lab."

"But that's not...."

"Shut up, John and let me finish." Rodney took a deep breath. "You make sure I eat something other then Power bars. That I get at least six hours sleep when possible. You remind me to floss so I don't lose my teeth and make me laugh when I get so frustrated I want to cry. You calm me down when I'm about to lose it and sometimes you just give me a hug for no reason."

"So what you're saying is that my entire purpose of being on Atlantis is to take care of you."

"I'm a high maintenance kind of guy. I need lots of taking care of." Rodney smiled. "It's a full time job."

"Yeah, whatever you say."

"John," Rodney placed his palms on John's face, "maybe you don't have a *specific* job, but you do so much. Aren't you teaching Teyla to read?"

John finally smiled. "She read Green Eggs and Ham all by herself."

"What about Ford? You taught him how to shortsheet a bed. You mixed blue dye into the desserts and everybody had colorful teeth for a week. And didn't you make that computerized travel brochure we sent back to Earth with our messages? The one that had the photos of the Wraith and Kavanagh with the caption 'Come to Atlantis, Where Everything Sucks'."

"But that's not...."

"You taught the people of Serest how to Conga, showed the Melinrans how to make paper airplanes...and you taught that innocent race of people on P3R-165 how to curse like a bunch of drunken sailors."

"But...."

"But, but, but," Rodney kissed him softly. "Speaking of which, I like *your* butt."

"I'm trying to be depressed here," John told him.

"Yeah, I can see that." Rodney dropped to his knees, pushing John's shirt up a bit, a kiss to John's abdomen. "Lock the door." He heard the click, amazed at the command John now had of the gene. He had locked the door with barely a thought. "Good boy, John."

"'Good boy'? What am I? A retriever?"

"If you were a retriever, I'd be practicing bestiality."

John slid off his chair, kneeling before his lover. "Why Rodney, you do say the most romantic things."

"John, why do you care what your job is?"

"I'm here by default, Rodney. If it wasn't for this gene, I'd still be freezing my ass off at McMurdo."

"So what! Kavanagh is here too. The only reason he's here is...."

"You can't joke about that Rodney. I know the reason he's here is because you requested him," John finished with a smirk. "Yeah, I read his file."

"John, I swear, if you breathe a word of *that* I'll...I'll cry."

"No, anything but that," John laughed.

"He's the best biologist I know of. This mission needed him."

"Don't panic, McKay. I removed the letter from his files. Nobody shall ever know." John leaned forward, fingers threading through Rodney's hair, pulling him close. "How about I do some of that taking care of stuff?"

"How about I take care of you?" Rodney's lips found John's, undoing his pants enough to stroke John's dick.

"I can deal with...RODNEY!" John's head smacked the floor as Rodney's mouth sucked him down. God, he loved it when Rodney went down on him. And by the time he got his bearings his pants had disappeared and all he could do was make noises...moans, grunts, gasps...fingers tightening in Rodney's hair, holding Rodney's mouth over his dick.

Rodney moved to his knees. "Shhh, let me love you."

"Lube," John gasped out. "My pants."

"Your pants?"

"I was a boy scout," John grinned. "Always prepared."

Rodney grinned back, smoothing the lube over his fingers and pulled John's legs over his shoulders, one hand on his hardened dick, the other teasing John's hole. One finger moved inside, followed by another and he pushed deeper, looking into John's face, seeing total and pure ecstasy. "You are so beautiful...." His cock entered slowly, until he was fully sheathed. "So very beautiful, lover." He pulled out a bit, then slid back in, moving faster with each thrust, losing himself to his lust.

"Harder...oh yeah...give me *more*!" John's voice, deep and gritty, Rodney's hands gripping his legs, leaving bruises. "*MORE*!"

Rodney moved faster, grabbed John by the ass and almost lifted him off the floor, taking John deeper then he ever had, feeling more possessive then he had ever felt, looking at John's hard cock, then into John's eyes. "Touch yourself, John. I want to watch you come."

As Rodney watched, John's hand wrapped around his dick and stroked himself in time with Rodney's thrusts, Rodney moving faster, both of them going straight to the edge.

"YES...OH GOD YESSSS!" John screamed, covering them both with his come, unable to move any more.

Rodney slid out and came all over John's abdomen, over his chest, smiling at the confused look on John's face. Leaning down, he licked his lover clean, biting the nipples, hearing John's moans. "Sweeter then honey," he whispered, covering John's body again, pulling those soft lips to his. He finally released him and John shifted, taking Rodney into his arms.

"You know, Rodney, you're pretty good at this taking care of stuff."

"I'm good at everything, Major. Genius, remember?"

"Smarter then everybody." John stole a quick kiss. "And I like my job. Taking care of you *is* a full time position."

"I suppose you're going to want a salary raise now," Rodney snickered.

"Nah, I'm real happy with my current wages." John got up, pulling Rodney to his feet. "Clothes, dinner and bed."

"Sounds good to me."

FIN