*Not much of a foundation there...
...not much of a foundation there...
...not much of a foundation there...
...not much of a foundation there...*
The words echo long after the door closes behind Daniel's too straight back...
God, what have I done?
Now. Of all the times for this to happen. Hell, he just lost Sha're a short time ago and I sure as hell haven't been around much to help. It wasn't my fault I got trapped on Edora but I was shocked as hell to come back and see the state he'd worked himself into. Carter was so wrapped up in finding a way to get back to Edora, she didn't pay attention to him like she usually does. Teal'c said he tried, and I know he did, but - it wasn't really a great time for Daniel to feel okay about accepting Teal'c's help. Daniel forgave Teal'c, I know that, but there's a big difference between forgiveness and accepting comfort from the man who killed your wife...even if it was because the snake in her was trying to kill you.
Besides, nobody can cajole, tease, bully and draw our Danny out like me...
It's a gift.
This top-secret crap is for the birds. I had less than a week back before the Tollans, the Nox and the Asgard were knocking at the door with charges of theft by the SGC. Great. Now, I'm the galactic version of Secret Agent Man and I just had to rip someone I care about a new one to keep him safe.
God, I feel like the lowest form of shit...
Nobody...and I do mean nobody...can make me feel as bad as Daniel. He gets that look on his face and I feel like I just kicked some two-year old kid's puppy...then kicked the kid too just for the hell of it. He doesn't have to say a word; those blue eyes go all squiggly and I'm toast.
I *am* shit. Yep, that's what I am. A pure walking, Neanderthal-wannabe bucket of crap otherwise known as Jack 'Shit' O'Neill, USAF, retired. Sort of retired, anyway. Sitting here alone in my living room waiting for the call that will complete my betrayal in the eyes of the three people on Earth who matter most to me.
Call already...
I want to get this fucking mess over and done with so things can get back to normal. My team, my friends...hell, I mean Daniel...needs me.
The shallow bruised-looking circles under troubled eyes and the obvious weight loss has me worried. It was a hell of a shock to see him in the showers that first day back. After Fraiser cleared me to come home we went down to the showers before Daniel drove me home for a little welcome home party with my team. I could count every rib. Daniel's never exactly been a heavyweight but he has some pretty respectable muscle for an academic-science type of guy. Just the right proportion of muscle and unconscious grace to make him the target of more than a few hungry looks. And I don't mean just from the female population on base.
Military life is just like the real world, just more predominantly male and you get guys checking out other guys for more than the standard locker room once-over. Some of them are looking for more than a baseline comparison to make themselves feel better about their own endowments...or lack of same. Daniel's - well - pretty nicely blessed. I've caught more than a few guys checking him out; hell, I've done it...out of curiosity. I didn't know anybody could blush all over like that. Needless to say, Daniel tries to shower after the rest of us, or with Teal'c and me if there's a chance of another team coming in. Kind of cute to see a grown man still so body conscious...
Cute?
Well, yeah...I guess in a geeky sort of way. Another reason for those looks he gets sometimes; he's a pretty damn good-looking guy all things considered. Bright intelligent eyes, full lips, a way of giving you all his attention when he's trying to make a point...
Whoa. I can't believe I'm sitting here summing up all Daniel's...really nice...attributes.
It's not like I have 'feelings' ...those kinds of feelings...for him.
Do I?
C'mon...call...
I want to get this over with.
I need...
I need a vacation.
Oh, crap. Makepeace got my team.
What the hell is Hammond thinking putting that jarhead in command of my people? Makepeace hates everything about them. Teal'c...well...because he's Teal'c, not to mention he took down one of Makepeace's tough guys on SG3 without straining so much as an eyebrow. Carter he can take a little better because, scientist or not...woman or not...she knows how to be a good soldier. Daniel, though, oh man...
Makepeace despises everything about Daniel. He's cut the hair, but underneath it all he's still the same four-eyed geeky-type who rubbed Makepeace the wrong way from day one. The briefing before the mission to the Land of Light just set the stage for a long, long, list of things Makepeace holds against Daniel: he's a civilian, he's an academic, he talks about 'feelings'...with his hands most of the time, he's - hell - he's Daniel and anybody who doesn't know him like we do might take a lot of things the wrong way.
I am so far beyond not happy about this...but what can I do?
The deal is set. I have to go in there now and ask Hammond to send me offworld so I can join Maybourne's Merry Band of Thieves. Fun.
I wish I could blow this thing right now. Turn over what I know and let the alien allies take care of the rest, but they expect us...meaning me...to take care of it. I guess I should feel honored or something. I don't. We need more than Newman and a bunch of disillusioned kids with a skewed sense of duty courtesy of Harry Maybourne. We need to know how deep this is, even if it leads to places we don't like.
I'm hoping to get this meeting over with and get the hell out of here before I run into Daniel. I really don't think I can take another dose of the eyes right now. I glance up and down the corridor like a kid skipping class and trying to dodge the principal, then knock on Hammond's door.
Makepeace is there, looking every inch the Miffed Marine, and Hammond has his reasonable CO face on. Trouble in SG1 paradise there, Robert? Part of me wants to cheer my kids on, the other part hopes they can just find a way to get along with the asshole until things get back to normal. They might be pissed as hell when they get the whole story, but...hopefully...it'll all be worth it.
I give Hammond the spiel about wanting to retire offworld while Robert does his best not to look smug. Eat it up, shithead. You may be sitting in the driver's seat now, but that's *my* team and I want them back in the same condition I found them in.
Hammond plays disappointed commander really well; makes it look like a hard decision then caves with a crack about Earth owing me. Pile it on there, George; Makepeace will have it all over the SGC before the elevator gets me back up to the surface. Nice.
I finally get cut loose with a convincingly resigned nod and I head for the elevators at something slightly more dignified than a run. I have to get the house closed up, bills paid...anything that might need doing for a few weeks. I just hope the hell it doesn't take that long...
As I get on the elevator, I look back and see Daniel coming around the corner at the end of the corridor.
Shit.
As the doors begin to close, I see his eyes open wide in shock...then flinch, no doubt at the memory of what happened at my house. I can't seem to look away. He just stands there, frozen mid-step waiting...
Waiting for what?
I want to jump back off this thing and, hell, do anything to take away that look of hurt confusion...
Damn. What the hell I am I thinking?
The doors finally close and I let out a groan and shove a fist into the wall...
Okay, not the smartest thing I've ever done.
Ouch.
What the hell is going on with me? I shouldn't be thinking about anything but this mission...
But those eyes...
Damn.
Jesus, this is hard...
I've already run into Carter on the way in. She put on the 'good soldier' face and tried to act like nothing was wrong. One thing you can say for the USAF training...they give you a face for every occasion.
I still have to get through Fraiser's exam before they let me go offworld and somewhere between there and the gateroom, Hammond's supposed to hand off a GDO. Then I can get this double-damned show on the road.
The sooner I get started, the sooner it'll be over...
Daniel's voice in my head responds with a far more literate cliché. Then I really do hear Daniel's voice. There in the gear-up room...
I rush on past the door, a confrontation with Daniel is the last thing I need right now, then the sound of fist-on-skin reaches my ears and Daniel's muffled gasp of pain. God knows I've heard both sounds often enough to recognize them. The door opens and I dodge into a side corridor, peeking back to see who comes out.
Makepeace. Looking way too pleased with himself and shaking his hand loosely the way a man does after...
I dive for the door as Makepeace disappears around the corner and slip in slowly, both anxious to see if Daniel's okay and dreading actually seeing him.
No problem on that, I don't see him at all...
Maybe I was just imagining Daniel's voice because -- well because.
I turn to leave then hear a low moan, a bare breath of sound, in the bathroom. I step over quietly and duck my head in.
Daniel's leaning over a sink with wet hands over his face, scrubbing hard. He looks angry. The only things generally capable of getting him that way are me and the Goa'uld...can't say I like that comparison.
Daniel straightens suddenly, as if he realizes he's being watched. I'm caught between wanting to back out of the room and wanting to be sure he's okay. The choice is taken away as he fixes those eyes on me...still fully dilated and sparking fire.
"So what do *you* want, Jack?" God, he sounds tired.
I just stand there for a minute watching the water droplets gather at the ends of his hair, dripping onto his T-shirt. With a shake of my head - hell, I don't know what to say - I hand him a towel. He nods in answer and dries his face. I can't seem to stop staring...
This may be the last time I see him for a long while, I feel like I want to pack away the image so I can take it with me. I'm so caught up in it, I don' t really notice when he starts looking back...
His eyes are on fire again, but this heat hasn't got a thing to do with anger. This is a new expression to add to my Danny-catalogue. I'm not even sure what to call it - desire, need, love? It's all that and more and strikes me right down to my boots. This thing that's been weighing on my mind for the past few days suddenly has a name...
Love. I love this man. This man. And from the looks of things he feels it too.
The feeling swells up inside me and I want to run and I want to stay and the indecision is a little piece of hell sitting right in the middle of my chest...
"Jack?" Daniel's voice is soft - so soft - and full of questions. He feels it too, he's just as blown away as I am. It's like somebody just turned on the light and we never even knew we were living in darkness.
I think I'll stop thinking right now...
Two steps bring me directly in front of him, two hands draw him to me, two arms go around my shoulders like they belong there...damn, we're good at math. Our lips meet without hesitation...
God...have...mercy...
It's like the best mission ever and coming home all rolled into one, a beginning and an end, like I've looked for this my whole life and it was standing right beside me for three long, wasted years. Where in the hell did he learn to kiss like this? I feel like he's trying to climb inside me and this is the first step toward being possessed. The hell with the Goa'uld, I want to be possessed. My hands slip under his shirt to draw the warm smooth skin closer and I feel the stifled moan as my hand slides around his back. He's hurt.
I pull back enough to see the pinched lines around his mouth and eyes I recognize too well as an indication of Daniel in pain.
"What...?"
He shakes his head and his eyes slide away as he tries to shrug it off. "It' s nothing. I fell..."
Uh no...try again, Daniel.
I pull up his shirt and look. It's a bruise all right, but he didn't get it from falling unless he fell on somebody's fist.
"Daniel?"
"I can handle it, Jack." He sounds sure and I want to believe him, but I also want to do a tap dance on a certain colonel's head. I have some really bad vibes about this, but what the hell can I do?
"You sure?"
He nods, but he doesn't look all that sure. He raises a hand to my chest, stroking lightly in a way that makes it damn hard to think. He looks up shyly, not quite smiling...afraid, I think.
"Jack? What is, um, this?"
Oh, God. The mission. What do I do now? Do I tell him 'this' is the most wonderful thing to happen to me in recent memory then turn around and leave Earth...supposedly forever? I can't tell him about the mission. I can't even tell him I'll be back. What *can* I tell him?
Fuck.
I drag up every scrap of commitment to duty still left in a brain even now pulsing with the force of one *amazing* kiss...
"This..." God, I hate this. "This was goodbye."
I ran.
I'm still running.
Lying here in what rates as command quarters in Maybourne's version of Sherwood Forest, I'm still running. And I know I don't have a prayer of running far enough to wipe out the memory of feeling Daniel's eyes on the back of my head. I could feel him up there in the control room even before I managed to casually glance up to confirm it. I couldn't stand to meet his eyes, and there was no way I could turn back when Hammond called my name.
So I ran.
The memory of that kiss is the only thing keeping me focused here. I close my eyes and call up the memory: the softness, the warmth, the familiar and comfortable scent of Daniel. I can almost imagine what it would be like to hold him, skin to skin. I feel the rush of heat in my cock as I savor the illusion of Daniel's body close to mine. It would be so easy, so damn good.but I want the real thing and even *my* imagination can't equal the reality. Daniel is the real thing. I want him...not easy substitutes..
What I can't believe is how easy it is to lie here and accept the fact that I want my best friend...my best male friend. I'm not exactly a stranger to a little two-handed stress relief between buddies when the pressure gets high. It was something guys didn't talk about; it was sex with a little 's'...no biggie, and everyone walked away feeling better.
With Daniel I want the capital 'S' kind, the kind that goes along with capital 'L' love and capital 'F' forever. That single kiss, fifty seconds give or take, holds more pure potential than anything I've ever felt in my life.
Don't get me wrong; I loved Sara...the capital 'L' kind. When things were good between us, we *were* the best, but Charlie's death threw a dark cloud over us we just couldn't drive away. I never even dared to hope I'd start thinking about forever again.
I'm scared shitless to think about it now.
Good as Daniel is at that forgiveness thing, I don't know if he'll be able to get past this. I felt him open up to that kiss...letting me in to places effectively closed off for a long, long time. I've been there with him for all the shit ...I know better than anyone how hard it was for him to do that. I know it was real for him too, and that makes me feel all the worse for shutting him down.
If I know Daniel - and I do - he's beating himself up over this, thinking he did something wrong. Or, worse, thinking something must be wrong with him. Or even worse than that, thinking I was so grossed out I couldn't wait to jump through the gate. Or, God, no...that I couldn't possible feel for him what that kiss told me he felt about me...
Crap, crap, crap...
For a guy as smart as Daniel, you'd think he'd have a better clue, but then, if he did, he wouldn't be Daniel. My gut tells me that's exactly what he *is* thinking.
Shit.
Bad enough worrying about this, I also have this vision in my head of Makepeace's shit-eating smirk as he came out of the gear-up room...not to mention an accompanying worst-case scenario that leaves Daniel hurt time and time again. I told Teal'c to keep an extra good eye on Daniel, but that's a 24/7 job at the best of times and even Teal'c can't be everywhere at once. I couldn't say anything more than Daniel might need a little extra care and feeding and I know Teal'c will do his best, but it's not the same as me being there.
Makepeace hurts my Daniel again and that pig-faced marine better expect a one-way ticket to hell when I get back...
My Daniel. I like the sound of that. God, I'm sitting here sighing over him like a teenager with his first crush. What the hell, it feels pretty damn good.
What I need to do is get my head out of the clouds and get my mind on the mission. Tomorrow we go after the next bit of technology and then I can figure a way to get off world for the pickup...after that it's just a matter of pulling in the net.
I close my eyes with a sigh, taking out my mental picture of Daniel the way I saw him just before the kiss. Damn it all to hell. I just need to get this over with and get back to Daniel.
I can make this okay.
I know I can.
I have to.
Christ.
Maybourne's intel was wrong. Somebody's coming through the gate right now. I barely have time to get the Asgard device tucked under the DHD and duck into a thicket about forty yards away. Hope there's not some sort of weird local equivalent to poison ivy in here.
The wormhole settles down just as I get under cover and I pull out the glasses to see which team might hold a traitor to everything the SGC stands for.
No.
Hell, no.
It's SG1.
Makepeace orders them off to do a mineral survey and Teal'c wanders by the DHD stopping there for a long moment. No way. I'll never believe it's one of my people.
That just leaves.
As pissed as I am at Makepeace, I'll have to see him pick up that Asgard thingie with my own two eyes. Not just because of the legal angle, but.
Damn it, whatever else Robert Makepeace is, he's always been a top-notch soldier. I just can't see him lying down with a dog like Maybourne. Of course, I never figured him for the kind of guy to beat up on one of his own team.
I huddle deeper into my hiding place and get ready for a long wait; mineral surveys make for inordinately long and boring missions.
Idly I scan around with my binoculars. There's Teal'c holding a box of Carter's test tubes while she digs around in the dirt. They look so serious; hell, we could always find something to laugh about, even on the dullest of missions. I move the glasses around the area. Where the hell are Daniel and Makepeace?
Shit.
Where are they?
I hear noises just in back of the thicket; the sound of rough voices.
"Get the hell off me, 'Colonel'." It's Daniel's voice, full of disgust and cutting sarcasm.
"C'mon, Jackson. I told you last time what I'd do if you told me no again.."
Last time? The gear-up room last time? There'd better not be any other last times.
"You touch me like that again, Makepeace, and you won't have to worry about charges. I'll kill you myself."
A scuffling sound and Daniel cries out in pain.
"Tough talk," Makepeace's voice is a harsh rasp. "Learn that from O'Neill?"
Something hits the ground hard. Daniel? I edge over to peek out and see Makepeace pinning Daniel to the ground with an arm lock I *know* hurts like hell. Even from here I can see Makepeace is getting off on this, pants bulging as he leans down close to Daniel's ear. "No choices here, Jackson. You put out for O'Neill and you'll do it for me. When and where I tell you to. Understood?" Makepeace punctuates his words with a rough jerk that makes Daniel cry out again.
Son of a bitch.
Makepeace reaches out and grabs a handful of Daniel's hair forcing his tongue into Daniel's mouth.
Okay. That's it. Mission or no, I can't let this go on.even if it means every ally Earth's got cuts us off for good. I'm on my knees and ready to plow through the brush when Makepeace squawks and backs off.
Okay.hold it.
Hah, the bastard's bleeding. Daniel bit him. Makepeace rubs his mouth with the back of one hand as Daniel tries to roll away.
"You little shit! Too good for it?" Makepeace dives and rolls Daniel over on his back, straddling over him with a wild look. "What's O'Neill got that I haven't?"
"Class." Just that, no denials. God, Daniel.
Daniel bucks against Makepeace's weight but can't move him off. Makepeace grabs Daniel by the neck, using the other hand to work at his belt already pushing his erection against Daniel in a perversity of lovemaking that makes me want to puke. God, I'm so sick of this moral high ground that saves a planet but lets good people suffer. I *have* to do something.
There's a rock near me, just outside the thicket. I grab at it and toss it across the clearing into some more brush. Thank God, it makes enough noise to break through Makepeace's rage and he backs off all at once, standing up and looking around. Daniel slides up, still favoring his left arm and just s its there breathing hard. Makepeace leans in again, grabbing Daniel by the hair again.
I am seriously going to kill that man.
"Next time, kid." He whispers the promise. "Your ass is mine." Makepeace gets close again and Daniel.God, my idiot Daniel.spits in his face with that same reckless gleam that endears him to so many of the Goa'uld.
Makepeace laughs as he wipes his face. "I guess I can see why O'Neill kept you around." Makepeace stands and moves off a few steps. "Just remember, Jackson. O'Neill is gone. Never coming back. One word to anyone and your Jaffa buddy and the woman will have an 'accident' offworld. Just keep your mouth shut and everybody's happy.and in one piece."
Makepeace strolls off, his expression changing from the rat bastard to something approaching a smile. Let him smile; he doesn't know he's a walking dead man.
Daniel's still sitting there holding his shoulder, rocking a little as he stares off at nothing. "God, Jack. What do I do now?"
~~~~
It was all I could do not to answer the quietly desperate question, not to crawl out and hold him while he shook off the adrenaline and shock from a near-rape by someone he should have been able to trust. Makepeace is a disgrace to the position and the uniform, and even if he doesn't turn out to be our traitor his ass is so gone from SGC. One way or the other I'll make sure of it.
I could just sit there in my hiding place, the heat of anger and frustration making me shake in sympathy as Daniel tried to get control over his jangled nerves. He'd nearly gotten a handle on it when Carter's voice crackled over the comm unit for him to head back to base. After a couple tries, Daniel stood up and straightened his clothes.
I can still hear the dejected, "Great, head back to what?"
Damn, damn, damn...I need to get back home. No way in hell is he going to have to deal with this on his own.
Makepeace just stands there near the DHD, looking detached and innocent as Daniel headed for the gate like a man on his way to his own execution. I see Carter giving Daniel that look, the one that says she knows something wrong and sooner or later she'll get him to talk. But there's no way he's going to spill this one. Makepeace pushed all the right buttons. Daniel doesn't generally seem to give a damn about taking risks with his own safety, but he'll break his back to protect us.
Damn, just hurry up...
Yes!
There.
Makepeace leans over to tie his shoe and takes the bait. You sorry son of a bitch, you just gave me the nails to bury your ass...
As soon as they're gone, I hit the Asgard beacon, letting them know it's time to pull in the net and see what kind of pond scum we can collect. Punching in the symbols for Sherwood, I can't help grinning. This is going to feel so damn good.
..........
Newman and his crew do really good rat imitations as the Asgard beam up all the techno-goodies. I no sooner hit the ramp at SGC than I hear them behind me.
Hammond's got the troops ready and they start cuffing them assembly line style. Man, this feels good...
Then I see Makepeace. He's cuffing Newman and like the fool I now know him to be, he actually says the guy's name. Another nail...not like I need it, but it's always good to have a spare. The idiot even hands me the restraints I turn around and use on him, pulling tight as I can.
"What the hell are you doing?" he protests, so innocently.
I jerk the restraints again just for the hell of it. "That would be my job." Then I lean closer to his ear for a private word. "How's that for class?"
His eyes widen as he realizes I know what he did. I can see him swallow hard as he meets my eyes and knows that I know what a bottom feeder he really is. No shame there. Figures. He gives me a fatalistic shrug as they haul him away. I don't understand guys like him...and suddenly I'm damn glad of it as Hammond comes forward with my team.
Daniel looks...okay. Pissed as hell, stiff as he tries to mask the hurt shoulder in one of his habitual self-hugs. Hammond lays it all out and I try to help. It all comes out sounding lame and it becomes clear they're all pretty ticked off at both Hammond and me for not trusting them.
I call Daniel over; make some stupid comment about the 'foundation.' It's not what I want to say...not even close...but it's all I *can* say here and now. He plays along, nodding and agreeing like he knows we all expect him to do, but I see the stiffness in his walk and the way he avoids meeting my eyes. I almost do say something before he pulls out something about straws.
Damn. Got me, but good.
I see I have a lot of ass kissing in my future. Watching Daniel walk away, I can think of a lot of other things I want to kiss as well...
After the briefing.
By the time Hammond finally lets me go, it's two in the morning. I gave him everything from Maybourne on down. He's a happy guy, our General. George is happy, the Tollans are happy, the Asgard are happy...everybody's just so damn happy.
Well, I'm not happy.
I didn't say much to the general about Makepeace and Daniel, just that I saw him being physically abusive. George, being the essentially good man he is, has no clue how...he just thinks Makepeace smacked on Daniel or something. I don't really think it's my place to tell him more. It's Daniel's decision.
A quick call to the front gate tells me Daniel left hours ago. Gone home. Gone away from me? I could wait until tomorrow but I know I won't sleep and if I know anything at all about Daniel...he won't be sleeping well for quite some time. Even with Makepeace in custody, Daniel's got a lot to deal with. Makepeace had a couple of weeks to terrorize and abuse; it's not something Daniel's gonna shake off too soon.
The drive over is full of possible scenarios of how this little reunion is going to go. He's got to be mad as hell at me for taking off...well, for the way I took off. I might be able to work around that if it weren't for what I saw. I have to tell him I was there. This thing started under a dark cloud of lies; I won't have a prayer unless that changes. Not to mention the fact I need to get him checked out. He took some pretty rough handling today...and I *know* he didn't check in with Fraiser.
I make my way to his door with a million different images in my head; he's mad as hell and punches me out, he's mad as hell and kicks me out, he's mad as hell and never wants to see me again, he's mad as hell but kisses me anyway...
Oh, hey, I like that one...
Taking a deep breath I reach out and knock, holding that last image in my head. This has got to work.
Way too soon, I hear him unlocking the door. Just like I figured, he wasn't sleeping...
God.
Down boy.
He's standing there in that dark blue robe I've seen him in before. He looks more than a little rough...bleary-eyed and exhausted...but damn, he looks so totally edible I have to swallow hard to be able to speak...
"Can...can I come in?"
His eyes squint a little as he thinks about it...damn, he's still pissed...then he pulls the door open and walks off. I close the door, following him down the hallway and into the living room. There's a blanket on the sofa and a still-steaming cup of coffee on the end table. Nope, no sleeping going on here tonight. He eases himself down on the sofa with a small hiss that tells me all I need to know about how he's feeling physically. Now for the other...
"How're you doin'?" I ask as I perch on the edge of the chair across from him.
"I'm okay..." He looks away quickly, a glint of something a little too raw in his eyes.
Uh huh.
"And we're - okay?"
He shrugs and bites his lip. "Of course. Why wouldn't we be?"
Of all the ...
"Why wouldn't we be?" I jump up and start pacing the small area between the sofa and the steps up to his bedroom. "Daniel...I...How could..."
He gets up quickly. Too quickly. Even as he comes up to my level I can see his eyes rolling back and I dive just in time to keep him from hitting the floor, shifting him quickly onto the couch.
Damn.
He is totally out.
With only a little twinge of guilt I pull back the robe to check him out.
Shit, shit, shit, shit...
Just what I can see is a mess of bruises and scrapes. I remember seeing Makepeace hit him in the gut and the ones across his shoulder and neck are from this morning, but there is a hell of a lot more damage here than what I saw could account for. Makepeace's 'last time'? He had them for ten damn days. When did he start on Daniel? The why, I think I know. The one that really worries me is what the hell else did he do?
Daniel looks so thin and tired, like he hasn't slept or eaten much in a long time. Ten days?
My hand reaches out to stroke over his cheek, just a little stubble rough, but warm and solid. My hand wanders southward over his long neck, smooth chest...
Whoa there...
I start to pull my hand away before my imagination and other things can get away with me...
Then Daniel's hand is on mine, not pushing me away, not pulling me close. Just holding. I just look at him, wanting him so bad it hurts. Hurting for him, for all he went through because of me. It's almost like that moment in the bathroom before I left...deep, hungry, real.
"Jack...?" Daniel barely whispers it; his eyes tell me he wants to believe.
I lean down a little, waiting...
"Jack, I..." His eyes fill with so much pain, hurt.
I squeeze his hand gently. "No pressure, Daniel. I've done some real shitty stuff over the past couple of weeks. A lot you don't even know about. I don't expect that to disappear..."
His eyes scrunch up, "I'm so tired, Jack..."
His hand tightens around mine like he's afraid I'll disappear. I sit down on the floor next to him, and stroke his forehead with my free hand. It's three in the morning, we're both wiped out...everything else can wait.
"Then sleep, Daniel. I'll be right here..."
I pull the blanket up over him then put my hand back on his face. He nods a little, closing his eyes. "Just for a little while. We really do need to talk..."
His voice drifts into silence and I lay my head down on his lap, staring at his face like I could make a full time occupation out of this. I could. Gladly. Enthusiastically.
For the first time in far too long, I'm at home. At peace.
Those hot little fantasies back in Sherwood were nothing to compared to the reality of simply being here. Tomorrow will no doubt bring the battle I was dreading, but for tonight...this is enough.
Hell, this is everything.
I wake up to grey daylight and find myself still on Daniel's floor with my head on his couch and his blanket around my shoulders, but I've lost my pillow...
Where the hell is Daniel?
There are two cups of coffee on the table behind me and, now that I'm listening for it...the sound of the shower. He must be feeling better. If he moved at all last night I didn't feel it. Personally, even with the sitting in the floor thing, I think it was the best night's sleep I've had in weeks...months actually.
He hasn't run screaming, he didn't strangle me in my sleep, even provided coffee...those have to be good signs. I'm not stupid enough to think everything's going to magically okay today. I still have to tell him what I saw, but the fact that I'm here...not dumped out in the hallway with the trash is a definite plus to my way of thinking.
A crash in the bathroom sends me running...
The door's open and Daniel's on the floor picking up what's left of a glass, there's blood all over...
"Daniel?" I bend down to grab his hand...it's a shallow cut but long.
He looks up at me apologetically. "Um, it slipped..."
The mouthwash on the wall tells me differently but I don't say anything, just grab a towel and wrap it around the blood. "Let's get you out of here before you cut something else. I'll get this later." He nods and stands up, going out in front of me. I only now realize he's wearing nothing but his boxers...hey, it's early my brain isn't awake...other parts are stirring, but my brain is not one of them...
I try to refocus my attention on the emergency at hand and reach back to grab his first aid kit off the bathroom shelf. He's sitting on his bed now, looking edgy and nervous...and too damn cute for words.
Hell, I have got to get my mind out of...places it doesn't belong.
Not yet anyway.
I put on some antibiotic stuff and wrap up the hand in some gauze, all the while trying to keep myself focused on the hand, just the hand, and not more up close and personal Daniel skin than I've ever seen. The shower on base is *not* the same.
Damn, he smells good...
"Jack..." A whisper, full of emotion, full of things I want so bad every muscle in my body aches to just take it....
But first things first...
Sitting down on the bed next to him, still holding onto his hand, I try to do one of the things I hate most in life. Talk. Serious talk, I mean. I can prattle on all day about stuff doesn't matter. This matters.
"Daniel, I..."
I can feel him pulling back. Shit. He thinks I'm saying no.
"No, Danny...let me say this..."
He's retreating; not physically but I can see it in the way his body tenses, the way his eyes seem to go off on a tangent. He's looking at me but not really seeing me and I know if I don't do something to stop it, I'll never bring him back to me...
So I kiss him.
And then I kiss him again.
Daniel holds back, almost pulling away, caught in that place between yes and no, love and self-protection, life as it is and life as it could be...
Then he opens up and lets me in.
This is my Daniel; so warm and open, giving new and incredibly sensuous meaning to the phrase 'speaking in tongues'. I slide my arms around him, feeling the flush of heat shudder through both of us like a zat blast. His hands are under my shirt, swirling, kneading, pulling me closer until we're both horizontal on the bed and my shirt flies over my head in a maneuver worthy of an entire chapter in the strategy manual. Like to see that, USAF approved methods of getting naked with your team leader with footnotes by Dr. Daniel Jackson. I almost laugh, but my brain has long gone southward. I know I should hold back...slow things down, but I want him so badly right now...
And somehow I know he needs this, he needs to let all the repressed hell of the past couple of weeks out of his head so he can let the good back in.
God, just let me be part of the good...
Throwing my own hesitation to the wind, I dive into this desperate need that is Daniel...determined to give him everything he needs for as long as he'll let me. His hands have already loosened my belt, sliding my pants and briefs off by slow, tantalizing degrees. As soon as I'm free, I take care of the last physical barrier between us, his boxers, then revel in the pure feeling of having Daniel naked and pulsing under me with that seemingly boundless energy I've never seen so completely unrestrained. His hands, his mouth seem to be everywhere at once and it's almost like I'm drowning in him...but I want nothing more here and now than to drown, so I dive in with both feet...and lips...and arms...
I slip over his body, never breaking the kiss that seems almost the breath of life itself for both of us, and feel our cocks meet...and it's like someone suddenly upped the voltage. It's too intense, too urgent and I know it can't possibly last. Daniel moans long and deep and I can feel the vibration all over my body. Too good, too much yet not enough, never enough...
He's pushing against me now, setting a driving rhythm I match with pleasure. Damn, incredible pleasure. Nothing fancy this first time, just skin on skin and a mountain of want. All too soon I feel the pressure building and hang on for dear life as we come within seconds of each other and everything seems to go black as we drift down from a place I've never thought I could go...
This is it. The big S, the big L, the big F...all right here in my arms, gasping for breath and nearly sobbing into my chest...
The calm last night has brought us to this storm of passion and release, and now I can feel it shuddering away into another form of release. Daniel's head seems permanently attached to my armpit as he tries so hard to hold it all in. I shift around and bring him with me, pulling us both up against the headboard and hold him through wave after wave of stifled, nearly silent screams. He needed this; hell, I needed this...and I feel the tears track down into his hair as we hold on and let go at the same time.
As the pain ebbs, I start talking...it's now or never and he has to be told if we're going to have a chance in hell of making this work. I tell him everything from how much I regret not being around those three months, to how the Asgard and the others came up with their ultimatum for us to take out our own trash or be left holding the intergalactic Glad bag on our own, to Maybourne and Newman and Sherwood, to seeing them come out of the gate on that planet...
He doesn't need me to fill any other blanks in. Smart, my Daniel...picking up really quick on the rest of my sordid little tale....
"How much did you see?" He sits back now, looking rumpled and red-nosed and gorgeous...and just a little bit steamed...
I want to lie, it's right there on the tip of my tongue...but I can't.
"Damn near everything..."
He nods slowly, thinking hard as he pulls back a little further...and belts me in the jaw.
Chapter 10
I deserved that. I did. But damn it, it hurt...
When I can see straight again, Daniel is up and pacing the floor beside the bed, hands flying all over the place while he mutters things like 'duty,' alliance,' and 'bastard.' Wonder if it's my parentage in question or Makepeace's?
I just sit here wrapped up in his comforter while he sorts through it all. That's Daniel...jumping through hoops of logic trying to be reasonable in an unreasonable world.
God, he's so damn cute when he's angry...even more so when he's *naked* and angry. My body-shy archaeologist is too worked up to notice he's parading around in his birthday suit...
That's okay, I'm noticing...
Boy, am I noticing...
He keeps shooting me dirty looks while he's arguing with himself and I'm trying really hard not to grin, but I'm feeling really good about things right now. I know very well that he wouldn't have stopped at one punch if this were totally unforgivable...I know he wouldn't be working that brain overtime if he didn't want to find a way to make this work...I know he wouldn't still be here in the same room with me if he didn't care...
So I sit back and let him do his thinking while I indulge in a little visual reconnaissance....
Daniel's got a hell of a body there...lean in all the right places, more muscular than anybody'd expect given his usual preference in clothes. Long, long legs...whew...narrow hips, really, really nice tight ass and, whoa, those other assets are enough to get a man hard purely on principle...
I have lots of principle.
I roll forward and lay down on his bed, propping one hand on my chin while he continues in full tirade...it's slowing down a little now, shouldn't be much longer...
Smudges of blue-black centering around his left shoulder extending across his back and over his kidneys reminds me of what this tirade is all about. I *should* have done something, I let some asshole hurt him and I deserve to be raked over each and every coal he feels inclined to drag me across....
"Jack?"
He's stopped the pacing, standing there looking at me with an open expression, so completely naked in every way...
God, what did I ever do that was good enough to deserve him?
His eyes go soft...and that little smile...
I just look back at him. "I'm sorry, Daniel...so sorry..."
He shakes his head slowly...
"I don't know, Jack. It *was* a pretty rotten thing to do..." "It was, it really was..." I am lower than shit.
"I mean duty I can understand..."
"You can?" A glimmer of hope...
"Yeah, well...sort of. It was pretty important to the fate of the planet..."
"It was." I admit it with a groan...wanting to say I would do things differently, knowing he knows me too well...
He moves closer and touches my cheek. "I *know,* Jack. I know you'll always do your best to look out for me. But you also have to know I can take care of myself. If you hadn't been there and thrown that rock..." He sighs deeply. "I would have handled it...one way or another..."
I reach out to draw him closer with shaking hands, hoping...
He climbs on the bed and pushes me onto my back....
"I really ought to toss your ass out and sit here feeling angry..."
I nod agreement, gasping as his hand strokes up my side...
Okay...What's this?
He leans over and kisses my shoulder, climbing on top of me with deliberate slowness....
"You can't rescue me from everything, Jack..."
Another kiss behind my ear this time...with tongue...
"But..." I can't seem to think of a but...not that kind of a but anyway as my hands slide up to clench against his hips while that tongue does indescribable things to my nerve endings...
"You want to, I know that. That's why I love you so much..."
His hands move to my chest and his arousal is sliding against my hip in a way that sets my own cock screaming upward in recognition.
Damn, I should have known he'd have brains to spare even down there...
Chapter 11
Brains to spare and more...
He moves against me, just barely brushing the head of his leaking cock against me as his tongue mirrors the action around my mouth.
I push up a little, letting him feel how much I want him and he pulls back and smiles.
"I love you, Jack. Whatever else happened is nothing compared to that..."
I have to take a deep breath against a sudden lump in my throat. Last night I had little hope and, I thought, even less chance of ever being here with Daniel like this. I don't deserve to be forgiven; I don't deserve to be as happy as I am right now looking up into those depthless blue eyes...
But damned if I'm going to argue about it. I can't find the words to tell him what I feel, I can only whisper, "I love you, too" as I rise to the occasion and kiss the sweetly smiling lips...
His lips...God, those lips...work their way down my chest with nips and licks that set my world on fire. A trail of tingling wetness leading down to my cock where his wonderfully articulate tongue plays around and around the head pushing me so close to the brink it's all I can do not to thrust into him. His hands move to keep me still and his mouth is suddenly surrounding me in a heat not entirely born of lust.
It's not the 'what' it's the 'who'...and watching Daniel I know this is the only 'who' that matters. Who ever *will* matter...
He glances up at me as he goes down again, taking me so deep in his throat I swear I feel his tonsils back there, and the look in his eyes is enough to send me over the edge shouting his name...
He lets go of me with a slow grin, moving up to share my taste in the most erotic kiss in my so-far limited Daniel catalog. His arm is trembling as he tries to hold himself off me; it's still too sore to bear his weight for long. I put my hands up to ease it for him and give a little roll to put me on top. "How 'bout I drive for awhile?"
Daniel sniggers a little. "I don't know, Jack...the way you drive...."
....................
I wake up feeling engulfed, intertwined with a living, breathing blanket of Daniel...
I thought I'd died and gone to heaven last night.
I was wrong, so sue me...
This is heaven. Waking up with the sight and scent of Daniel after a day... and a night... of making the most passionate love it's ever been my pleasure to be a party to. We're both rank amateurs when it comes to this guy-guy thing...but Daniel is a helluva quick study. What we lacked in mechanics we more than made up for in enthusiastic feeling. I always knew Danny was passionate about his work, but I don't know why it never occurred to me he'd be passionate about everything he does...
I feel his arms tighten around me as he rouses a little, enough to nuzzle my neck with his morning whiskers, sending a shiver right down to my toes that heads straight for my cock when he whispers my name...
He can feel my good morning and laughs softly. "That's a *fine* hello..."
"Thanks. Kind of proud of it myself..."
He laughs and stretches...not accidentally brushing against me with his own bright hello....
Hel-lo...
I stretch around to kiss him hard, overwhelmed once again by the pure pleasure of being here... with him...
Then his phone rings. I almost reach for it then remember we're at his place.
He shifts up with a groan and picks up the receiver.
"Hello?" I push into his thigh with my own 'hello' and he bats me away with a wicked grin. "General Hammond."
I nip at his belly, watching the skin jump as he tries to listen to our commander...then feel him tense up at whatever the general is telling him. Oh, shit, what now?
"I'll...ah...I'll find Jack and we'll be there as soon as we can..." Uh oh...His eyes have taken on a cold intensity that tells me he's working hard at that even tone of voice. "Yes, sir. I'm sorry too, sir..." Crap. Two sirs. This has got to be bad. I sit up as he hangs up the phone. "What is it? What's wrong?" He looks at me for a minute, taking a deep breath before he speaks in a voice he's trying hard to keep calm. "Makepeace was just released."
Chapter 12
How in the hell can things get so bad so fast?
How in the hell can a pair of traitors... Makepeace I can see, maybe, but Maybourne?... walk off from a maximum-security military lock-up?
How in the hell can Hammond sit there so calmly while Daniel rips his heart out telling him what happened?
How in the hell can I stand here and listen to him do it without wanting to hold him and make it all somehow better? At least I know the answer to that one...barely and with more self-control than I would have given myself credit for.
Hammond face just gets grimmer by the minute. Bless his Texas country-boy heart, he just can't wrap his mind around the concept of rape...blessing that same heart, he doesn't seem to be shocked at all by the idea that it was a man trying to do it to a man. It's the fact it was someone under his command trying to do it to a friend, specifically Daniel, that seems to hurt Hammond the most.
Daniel is trying really hard to keep up the front...playing detached observer, which he has trouble with on a good day...but I can see his hands shaking as he clenches them in his lap, the way his eyes shift from me to the general to the floor as he waits for the general's reaction.
George really cares about Daniel, that's become increasingly obvious over the past couple of years...especially since Sha're died. I think anyone who takes the time to get to know Daniel learns damn quick how much there is to like, which makes it all the harder to understand how someone like Makepeace could hate him so much as to want to destroy him. I've read that rape is an act of control...maybe it's no more than that; Makepeace, Ultra Marine, trying to control the 'civilian' who doesn't always listen and sure doesn't have much use for military protocol. Maybe it's something fundamentally screwed in Makepeace's life somewhere that made him that way, maybe this wasn't the first time. There are a lot of maybes here, but I don't really care about the why. I want him found and I want him to pay for what he did...to Daniel and to the uniform.
Hammond gets up and looks out the observation window, looking down at the gate like it's some kind of enemy.
Daniel looks up at me with a question in his eyes, a question I don't have an answer for so I get up and head over to Hammond, stopping to squeeze Daniel's good shoulder along the way.
Hammond looks mad enough to spit nails. "That thing...this uniform...demands a lot from us, Jack. Sometimes too much," he says quietly, too quietly for Daniel to hear. I sure can't argue with him, so I nod. He shoves his clenched hands into his pockets in a gesture I'm more than passingly familiar with; I want to hit something - or someone - too. "I don't know how you did it, Jack. I'd have killed the bastard."
We both know he couldn't have...any more than I could considering the stakes...but I appreciate the sentiment behind the words. "I wanted to."
Stepping a little closer, Hammond's voice drops even further. "The orders that got them out came from high up, *very* high up. Somebody wanted to cover a lot of collective asses. Newman and his team were just foot soldiers with no real information. Makepeace and Mayborne undoubtedly know things that could implicate a lot of people."
I catch his drift without much effort. "You think they were pulled out so they could 'disappear.' " I unconsciously use Maybourne's little euphemism. I know what Harry meant by it, Hammond knows what I mean by it...one of the perks of the job.
Hammond nods with a grim look, glancing over his shoulder then turning around quickly when he sees that Daniel's fallen asleep in his chair, one hand supporting his head on the table. I look over in time to see my commanding officer's eyes soften in a distinctly paternal smile. Gotcha George.
"You sure he's all right?"
I shake my head. "I don't know. I think so. I know he hasn't been getting a lot of sleep lately." Especially last night, I try not to smile at that thought. "I want Fraiser to check him out while we're here, get everything on record."
Get it all on record. Like there's a snowball's chance Makepeace will ever pay for what he did. I'm not a big believer in karma, but I hope somewhere there's a special kind of hell for people like him. If not I'll look into it when I get there.
Hammond just nods; he knows the odds. "See to it then take him home. I think we all need some downtime. Unless something comes up in the meantime, I'll see you back here on Monday."
..................
Following orders with a lot more enthusiasm than usual, I rouse Daniel up and deposit him in Fraiser's infirmary with a whispered promise of a four-day weekend courtesy of General Hammond...which earns me a really steamy look that makes my heart, and other parts of me, jump.
Fraiser is royally pissed when I give her the condensed version of the story then she slips on her Doctor-face and shoos me off. Fraiser can be a little power-mad when you're semi-okay and tied to one of her infirmary beds, but she's the absolute best when it comes to dealing with the serious stuff; the stuff we don't want to talk, much less think, about.
I slip off to find Teal'c and Carter in her lab, and fill them in on everything. Not surprisingly, they're more than a little upset that they missed what Daniel was going through; hell, upset doesn't begin to cover it. On top of it all they're trying really hard not to be mad at me for not being there in the first place. They can't make me feel any worse about it all than I already do and I tell them as much.
Carter gives me the wide-eyed look. "Sir, we understand you were following orders, it's just...you said some pretty crappy things."
Teal'c nods. "Indeed, O'Neill, your behavior was most disturbing."
I know Teal'c well enough to know that's a massive understatement and realize it explains a lot about how they missed what was going on with Daniel. They were all so mad at me, they forgot to *be* a team. One more thing to add to the long list of stuff I need to apologize to Daniel for...and them.
"I know...and you have no idea how sorry I am about that...all of it." There. That didn't hurt...too much.
Teal'c's eyes soften - how does he do that? - and he almost smiles. "All will be well now, you have returned."
"It'll all work out, sir," Carter agrees. "I just can't believe what almost happened."
I nod at that. "I saw it. And the bruises he's got to show for it."
"Is there anything we can do, sir?"
I shake my head. "Not right away. I'm taking him to my place for the weekend. Just...be there when he does want to talk."
"I would gladly dis*member* Colonel Makepeace should the opportunity arise."
I have to wince at the stress on the word, there's not a doubt in my mind what 'member' Teal'c wants to separate Makepeace from. I certainly understand the sentiment, hope Carter explains it all to him 'cause I'm not touching that line.
"I don't think the 'opportunity will arise' anywhere we need to worry about it. If Makepeace is still alive, he's long gone."
Carter picks up on my *if* and nods fiercely. "I hope you're right, sir."
Me, too, Carter. Me, too.
Chapter 13
When I go back to the infirmary, Fraiser has given Daniel something to make him pleasantly dopey.
"Heya, Jack." He gives me a big smile and staggers a little when he jumps off the exam table.
Fraiser directs a nurse to help him dress and pulls me to one side.
"The shoulder is strained but not too seriously. The rest is bruising of varying ages. This was going on at least a week, but the colonel obviously knew enough not to cause so much damage as might lead to questions."
I just nod at her, not trusting myself to make any comments at this point. She gives me a couple of prescriptions, muscle relaxants...which explains the dopiness...and some ointment for the soreness. Fraiser makes me promise to stay with Daniel...no problem, Doc... and to put him straight to bed...my pleasure, Doc...and to keep him from strenuous activity for a couple of days...ah, hell, wonder how she defines strenuous?
I promise her I'll do all of the above...(strenuous activity, Doc?)...and aim Daniel in the direction of the elevators while he tries really hard not to laugh. Once we're safely headed topside, he lets it out.
"What?"
"Just wondering how many doctor's orders we're going to follow..."
I give him my best stern look. "Every single one of them, Daniel." I smile at his disappointed look. "It's just a matter of interpretation..."
.............
Interpretation one: I brought him back to my house so I can stay with him...that one was easy.
Interpretation two: I put him straight to bed...and he did go straight to sleep, wrapped around me in an exhausted sprawl that was comfortable and comforting...for both of us.
Interpretation three: Well, the quick one in the shower wasn't strenuous...I did all the work. The one after dinner when I rubbed Fraiser's liniment on him...well, let's just say I did most of the work.
So, following the spirit if not the letter of Fraiser's laws, Daniel is safely snoring on my chest while I lie here thinking about Makepeace and Maybourne and how high up this conspiracy deal might go. Plots and intrigue are a little too James Bond for me, but you don't hang around Black Ops too long without picking up a few backroom clues. Guys under the kind of charges these two are - were- don't just walk without some heavy-duty signage going on.
I just wish I could figure out if these guys are operating under the same sort of misguided for-the-good-of- the-planet philosophy Makepeace and Maybourne spouted or if there's something more underneath it all...greed, power, the usual vices.
Daniel stirs around a little, hand twitching in time to his dreams. Hope they're good dreams. I want to make all his dreams good from now on...and I know that's pretty unrealistic given what we do for a living, but...I still want to. His cheek ruffles against my chest hair as he whispers my name and I can't help the goofy grin I know is spreading all over my face.
Already I can't imagine *not* having this...and the thought is so incredible and so terrifying at the same time I feel like my heart might explode. I pull him closer and kiss the top of his head, reveling in the sigh he makes as he settles again. I drink in the scent and the feel of Daniel thinking this is almost too good...
And that scares me.
Chapter 14
Shit.
I forgot I hadn't shopped since before I left for Sherwood. I put on a pot of coffee, the last in the can, and realize I need to make a grocery run. Daniel's still sleeping under the influence of Fraiser's little pills so I leave him a note on the bedside table...stopping to enjoy the sight of him huddled in the middle of my bed, arm slung wide and hugging my pillow...with any luck I'll be back before he ever knows I was gone.
Shopping for Daniel is a new experience and I realize this is one area where I already have a pretty good idea what he likes. Coffee...first and most crucial item. Coffee and Daniel are inseparable companions, I'll just have to learn to live with this thing they have going on the side. I never thought I'd be happy to be a part of a three-way, but, hey, anything that keeps Daniel awake for me deserves a little leeway.
I know he likes pancakes...with lots of syrup. Chocolate syrup. Oh, yeah...coffee and chocolate, the ultimate Daniel-lure...
I get lost in thoughts of luring the elusive, blue-eyed archaeologist...a definite rare breed... then realize I'm grinning like an idiot in the middle of the produce aisle. I grab some stuff like I knew what I was doing all along and head for the checkout.
................
Something's wrong.
The front door is open a couple of inches...
I put the groceries down and push against the door, peeking inside to see chaos. The lamp is shattered on the floor, the chess set strewn across the room, the coffee table lying on its side. I step in cautiously, barely restraining myself from calling out to Daniel...
Please, please let him be okay...
I'm focused on the bedroom door...remembering another time, another door...
And something hits me from behind. Not enough to put me totally out, but I'm pretty thoroughly addled...aware only of a pair of big hands jerking my arms back and tying them off with something that cuts into my skin. Then I'm being hauled up and tossed onto the bed...onto Daniel...
Daniel! Oh, God...bleeding from a bunch of cuts on his scalp, the sheets are red all around him. I can feel the warmth of his skin under my cheek and note, absurdly pleased, that he's wearing my pajama bottoms as I push back, trying to turn around to see...
Makepeace. I should have known. You can't keep a bastard down.
So what the hell is he doing here?
Chapter 15
Makepeace is leering down at us with a look of superiority and contempt.
"I knew he was getting it on with you. Jack O'Neill's over-educated rent-boy..."
I don't like the look he's giving Daniel and shift over to block his view, earning myself a cuff to the jaw that lands me back on top of Daniel. Damn, he's totally out of it...
"What the hell are you doing here, Makepeace? Thought you'd be safely dead by now."
Makepeace gives me a dark look. "They tried. They failed." He pulls an automatic from his belt, making it very plain how 'they' failed. "But I'm not going to be safe anywhere on the planet." He starts pacing like the cornered animal he is.
"You want us to try to get you offworld?"
Makepeace stops. "Not try...you're going to do it."
"There's no way in hell --"
Two steps bring him closer and he points the gun at Daniel's head. "You'll figure it out, Jack."
Shit.
He's slipping the gun over Daniel's skin like a caress, almost hypnotized by the action, and I'm glad Daniel's too out of it to know what's going on. I can see the lust in Makepeace's eyes; a sick kind of lust edged by something cold and dark that settles hollowly in the pit of my stomach.
"Makepeace? What's your plan?" Me; look at me here, you son of a bitch.
He barely glances up. "You're the strategist, Jack...figure it out."
Keep touching Daniel and all I'm going to figure out is how to bury you.
The gun moves down Daniel's stomach, looping in the edge of the pajamas, pulling them down slowly...
And I move.
I can't *not* move, not this time.
In a diving roll, I manage to shove Makepeace back with my head, but overbalance and hit the floor. He swipes at me with the gun before I can even think about ducking and everything goes black...
.............
I don't know how long I'm out of it, not too long...the sun doesn't seem to have moved much. Memory floods in quickly and I roll over to look up at the bed. Makepeace is kneeling over Daniel, his shirt is gone, pants loose enough to reveal his cock, already erect and jutting out red and angry. Daniel is awake... and, God, naked... struggling against the weight straddling his thighs.
Oh, please God...can't let this happen...
Where the hell is the gun?
There...other side of the bed on the chair...hands, hands...
My boots are under the bed; for once I'm glad I'm a slob because I know my knife is still in them. I shift around on my back, trying to grab it with numb fingers...
I look up...Makepeace is pushing down on Daniel, slobbering all over him in a rough bastardization of love. Daniel's voice keeps saying 'no' over and over...no to Makepeace, no to the rough hands trying to take what should only...ever...be given.
Got to hurry...
Hurry, damn it...
Got it...
Daniel bucks upward with a sudden burst of desperate strength, bringing up a knee into Makepeace's crotch...
Go, Daniel, keep him busy...
Makepeace roars in pain and falls on Daniel, who gets one hand wrapped in Makepeace's hair and shoves up on the bigger man, pinning his head away...nearly pushing him off...
Good move...where'd he learn that?
Shit, I think I sliced myself, but the ropes are loosening...
Makepeace shoves a hand hard up under Daniel's chin...damn, that stunned him...and moves back up to hover over Daniel, God...if he wasn't mad before he sure as hell is now...
I hear the first punch and jerk my wrists at Daniel's harsh moan, almost dropping the knife...another punch, I slide the knife into the bigger space I've made, sawing as fast as I can against whatever he tied me with...
I risk another look up, Makepeace is breathing hard, face nearly inhuman in its rage...even more aroused by the violence...spreading Daniel's legs wider and moving closer...
Break, goddamn it...
Another hard jerk and my hands are free...
I'm on my feet, grabbing Makepeace by the belt and throwing him to the floor, away from Daniel...and pelting into him with every ounce of frustrated anger inside me...
"Jack!"
I can hear Daniel, but I can't seem to stop...don't want to...
"Jack..."
I feel Daniel's hand on my back...come so very close to pushing him away as I keep pounding at Makepeace's face...
"Jack...please..." His voice is tired and near to breaking...he needs me...
I drop Makepeace like the piece of trash he is; wiping my hands off on his shirt like some part of his evil might be contagious...
Daniel is sitting there on the edge of the bed, looking like death warmed over. Blood streaks his face like tears and his eyes are so far out of focus I wonder if he can even see me. Nearly two weeks of hell, capped off by *this*...like *this* wasn't bad enough all by itself...and Daniel's hit his limit. I kneel beside him and make him look at me...only at me...and slowly see him come back...even as the adrenaline fades and he starts to shake. I wrap my arms around him as reaction sets in for both of us and I feel his arms come up, clinging to my shirt like he's set for duration.
And that's fine with me...more than fine.
Chapter 16
It took a long time for both of us to stop shaking, to start to feel the aches and bruises over the numbness. I kept one eye on Makepeace...even though it was pretty obvious he wouldn't be getting up any time soon.... but the rest of me was totally focused on Daniel. I wanted to take it all away...still do...but both of us knew, even so soon, that it wasn't going to happen. So I held him...letting my arms make the promise that they would be there, right there, for as long as it took. And he held me, giving me back that promise and more...not shutting me out and closing up the emotional shop the way he usually does when faced with heavy, emotional stuff. It was a measure of his faith, our love even, and no matter what else happens...I'm holding him to it. I expect...I *know*...there'll be days when we both forget it, but we'll remind each other...
We realized after the fact that I should have made some 'adjustments' to the crime scene before calling Hammond and the SF's, but neither of us was thinking particularly straight at the time...and I wasn't about to let Daniel get too far away from me right then.
I didn't let go, even when they got there. I didn't want to lie to Hammond, and if it had come right down to it, I wouldn't have...but he didn't ask. Don't ask, don't tell? Maybe. I just know I've never seen Major-General George Hammond look quite so ready to kill someone as when he saw Daniel huddled on my couch, wrapped up in my ratty old robe, still bloody with bruises rising darkly on his face, jumping at every sound the medics made hauling Makepeace out of my house. They wanted to take Daniel but Hammond waved them off and said we'd drive over when Daniel was ready. I gave him a sharp look at that and caught the general in the kind of look a man gives one of his kids...and their significant other. Hope I pass muster, but I'll never really know. The day Hammond acknowledges what he suspects out loud is the day everything changes for SG1...none of us wants that.
So we gave Daniel some time.
Hammond hadn't been back to my house since Daniel's wake...even made a comment about his car window...but otherwise kept up a little light, *normal* conversation. Daniel laughed at some fool joke I made about hockey practice and announced he was ready to get dressed before disappearing into the bathroom. I brought his clothes, let him shoo me away and waited in the hall...just in case. I heard some very definite moaning going on, but was pretty sure it was all from soreness. When he came out, he looked at me steadily...trying to smile reassuringly, but not quite making it. I just opened my arms and let him come to me...still a little iffy on whether he wanted to be touched. He wanted to be. I'd go so far as to say he *needed* to be...touched by gentle hands, touched with permission, touched with love.
When he was ready, we walked down together to join Hammond at his car. He'd sent his driver back with the others and held the rear door open for us without a word. A once in a lifetime opportunity, being chauffeured by a remarkably quiet and understanding commanding officer, and the irony of it wasn't lost on Daniel who managed a tired smile and a thank you. The general just smiled back and he nodded...biting down on who knows what he might have said if we all weren't who we were and didn't do what we do. Hammond's a damn fine man.
...................
As it turned out Fraiser wrangled us both into an overnight stay. Seems we're both concussed...Daniel more than me. I think mostly she just wanted us both close to hand in case Daniel needed more than just a patch and dab job. She put us together in one of the ISO rooms, seeming to think we needed to be together...and I refuse to dwell too long on 'why' she knew it...I'm just glad she did.
Teal'c set himself up as 'guardian of the gate'...embracing, after the fact, his self-appointed role as our protector. He couldn't be there to help us against Makepeace, but he did everything he could to help afterward...and that's a lot. Teal'c scares most people effortlessly; when he's really trying he can give all but the sturdiest souls nightmares. Needless to say, we didn't have many visitors...and were loudly warned when we did.
Carter was a little scarce...Daniel seems to think she knows what's up with us. Maybe, maybe not...but she did stop by to tell me privately that Makepeace was safely back in maximum security...in the prison infirmary. I didn't ask how he was doing; I didn't care...still don't. I seriously doubt the higher ups will risk springing him again...most likely he'll meet with an accident in prison. Can't think of anyone who deserves it more...
Daniel seems okay...well, he seems to want us to think he's okay...and right now nobody's going to push him on it. Dr. Warner dropped by, just before we were cut loose, talked quietly with Daniel then left. Seems Warner has some experience with this kind of stuff and just wanted to let us know his door is open. Daniel told him we'd think about it so I guess we will...think.
Neither of us was really ready to go back to my place...in fact, I figure this is the perfect time to do a little home improvement of the bedroom variety. Changing the carpet and furniture and stuff won't change what happened there but it will go a long way toward cutting down on the flashback quota. Besides I've taken a definite liking to a certain shade of blue...
I'm just glad Daniel isn't shutting me out. He's talking to me, holding me, letting me hold him...giving and taking the comfort we both need so much. Twice in the space of a few days I was next to helpless to stop some Majorly Bad Shit from happening to Daniel. He keeps telling me I can' protect him from things...and my head knows that, it does, but my heart hurts at the thought of a life without Daniel in it and I can't help myself. But he understands...says he's working on me. And that's good...real good. Can't think of anyone I'd trust more with the job.
Chapter 17
I wake up to the sound of Daniel's harsh breathing...
Nightmare.
Not unexpected.
I'm kind of surprised he's been sleeping at all...I like to think it has something to do with who he's sleeping with, but maybe that's just me. If he'd been alone he wouldn't have slept. Hell, if he'd been alone, he'd be dead...or so brutalized he'd never have recovered. But he wasn't alone. He wasn't alone and he never will be again, not if I have anything to say about it.
I click on the small lamp beside the bed and tighten my grip on his shifting body, stroking small circles up and down his back. A ragged gasp tells me when he wakes, a ripple of a shudder tells me when he remembers where he is, a convulsive sigh tells me when he knows he's with me and the gentle nuzzling kiss on my chest tells me he's glad of it.
I drop a kiss on his forehead to let him know I'm glad too, while I keep rubbing the tension out of his muscles...hopefully chasing away the dream with loving reality. The nuzzling continues...so nice...and moves up until he's looking me in the eye; poised...waiting...thinking...
Did I ever mention Daniel thinks way too much?
I just smile at him; there are definitely worse ways to spend the predawn hours than staring into Daniel's eyes...
Finally...God, finally...he smiles and kisses me. A real kiss, full of passion and desire; the first one in over a week and *so* completely welcome...
I pull him to me, gently...still not sure of how far to go, how much to respond....
"Don't..."
I stop moving entirely; suddenly afraid I've passed some unseen boundary...
He draws back to look at me. His pupils are huge in the dim lamplight, nearly overwhelming the blue in the naked need I see there...
"No, Jack...I mean don't let 'him' in here. Don't let it change *us*."
I don't have to think too hard about that one. I know exactly what he means and know I need that too. What we have is more than strong enough to beat this thing...as long as we remember who we are...together.
I smile at the thought, drawing him closer; rising to meet his lips and searching tongue with every ounce of my own frustrated need...feeling his body respond with more enthusiasm than I would have thought possible...
It's going to be quick, we both know that...we want it too much... need it too much...
But it's hot and it's real and it's glorious...
It's us.
Chapter 18
Watching Daniel is my favorite pastime...
Think I might have mentioned that before...but it is.
He just looks so damn sexy in those sunglasses, wind fluffing his hair, as he focuses so completely on his work that he doesn't even notice me sitting less than two feet away, lusting my little, um, heart out.
That's okay though...he'll notice later.
Later we'll go back to his place; we tend to spend more time there, but that's okay...his place has better cable...not that we get to watch much television. Three months we've been together and every kiss...every touch...is like that first one back in the bathroom of the gear up room... electric, full of promises and promise. The light hasn't dimmed, just gets brighter everyday. I'm still thinking in capitals and he's still letting me in...
There are still some nights when his eyes go dark with memory...some nights when I get so angry for no real reason I feel like I want to explode. Warner says that's normal...yes, we thought about it and we're talking to him when things get too weird for us to handle alone, or together. Warner's an okay guy...a helluva lot easier to talk to than fish-face Mackenzie.
But for the most part...those nights are few and farther between. I'm learning I can't always keep him safe from life's garbage and still expect him to be the man I love so much. He's Daniel, and Daniel deals with it. He's learning that I must...first and foremost...do what's right according to the uniform and the oath I swore when I put it on. We still fight about stuff...meaning of life stuff and doing what's right stuff...but underneath it all we respect each other and, hell, making up is an adventure all by itself.
If anybody else 'knows' they don't mention it, but I have noticed a lot more calls for me coming to Daniel's place....
The last time Daniel and I argued, I caught Carter grinning like an idiot when his patented 'Ja-ck...' sent me into a fit of laughter. I'm sure she and Teal'c know...and I'm pretty sure they approve. Another one of those things we'll likely never really know. Which is a sad state of being all things considered...
I'm so lost in thought I didn't notice Daniel has stopped working and taken off his sunglasses and is looking at me with that 'look'...
"Hello..." he drawls the word out.
I recognize the tone, and the reference...
Hello means 'I love you, I want you, I need you...' A lot of weight for one little word, but we can handle it.
"Hel-lo..."
*fin*