Reaction sets in as soon as Daniel helps me to my feet and I have to lock my knees to keep from falling dead on my ass again. Daniel sees it, moves in to lend a shoulder and hauls me over to one of the platforms. I nod a thank you, still more than a little punchy from breathing too much of the wrong gasses for almost too long a time. Even with the sledgehammers banging inside my skull, I can see the dark shadows of sleepless worry around Daniel's eyes. He hasn't slept at all, and if he ate it was because Carter or Fraiser carried it to him and watched him eat it. That's how Daniel is...single-minded, stubborn, living on caffeine and sheer nerve while giving more than his share for the cause of the day.
Today it was me and Teal'c...
Carter's chattering away to Teal'c about how she and Daniel tracked down Jacob. Daniel lost his temper? Our Daniel? He may argue with me 'til the cows come home, but diplomacy might as well be his middle name when it comes to our allies. I've seen him swallow a mountain of crud in the name of continued relations and goodwill. I'd've paid good money to see him take on Anise or Freya or both of them. Bet the snake doesn't like him so much now.
Good.
Daniel is looking very distracted as he puts a blanket around me, but he doesn't take his eyes off me...or his hand. It's like he needs the tangible proof. That's okay though, I do too. More than he knows.
This is the third time I've come close to doing an icicle impression. I don't like it. The other times I was a little too busy to really savor the experience, but this time I had all the time in the world. Lots and lots of time alone. Did I ever mention how much I hate thinking? Deep-down, soul-searching type thinking? I don't like looking too closely at what makes me tick. It's a pain in the ass at the best of times, but lately...it's worse. Too much stuff to think about; too many 'feelings' I haven't been able to work out in my head, much less my heart.
Carter gives me a look out of the corner of her eye while she helps Teal'c remove his helmet and stuff. I give her a smile, but...
It's not the same kind of smile I would have given her a couple of days ago. Everything's changed and I can see it has for her too. Nothing like a near-death crisis to filter through the old emotional baggage. Whatever 'it' was for her...isn't there anymore. Maybe it never was. I can see an apology in her eyes and a tinge of regret, but mostly just relief that a good friend is okay. Good friend. I can live with that.
Speaking of good friends, Daniel's hand is still on my arm. Has he let go of me since I got on this tub? Is he afraid I'm going to float off into space if he doesn't hold me down? Is he as afraid as I am of breaking this tenuous connection that seems to be building by the second? God, I hope so, 'cause I sure as hell am. All those long hours alone, there was only one face in my mind. One heart I worried about leaving behind. Forget the one about your life flashing in front of your eyes; mine kept playing the last four and half years over and over.
Charlie was more of a comfort than a regret...the good sisters of Perpetual Sorrow always told us we'd see those who died before us again, so I figured that one was on the plus side. The things I did in the past...well, I figured I'd been punished enough losing Charlie...and I was hoping the Big Guy would see things my way. All in all, the Black Ops stuff has got to be balanced against what we've managed to accomplish in the past four years with the Stargate. It sounded good when I came up with it; of course, I was mostly unconscious and more than a little loopy at the time...
Just when Carter woke me up out there I was dreaming about Daniel...
Sun warm on his face, giving his eyes that cute little squint and making them sparkle like blue fire...
Damn.
I look around to see if anyone noticed the ship just did slow roll at the same time my world view took a left off center. Guess not. Jacob's gone back forward and Carter's still telling Teal'c about - Oz?
"Oz, Daniel?" He shrugs, blushing as head ducks down and away to hide the small smile.
"It was better than 'Daniel the meek and small..."
I have to laugh at that one. Daniel may be a lot of things, but 'meek' has never been one of them. Without thinking. I reach out a hand to touch his where it still rests on my arm.
"Daniel is a much cooler guy. That Oz was a big windbag..."
He looks surprised by the compliment. I guess - I know - it's been awhile since I had much good to say to him. Maybe this has been lurking beneath the surface for longer than I realized. Maybe I've been trying to chase it away without even knowing what 'it' was. Looking at Daniel, clearly confused and flustered by the sparkage passing from his hand to mine and back again like a living thing that won't be put back in its cage now that it's been let out.
I think I know what 'it' is...and I know I'm ready. I think I've *been* ready all my life. Squeezing the long fingers beneath mine I realize I'm not cold anymore. Daniel looks up at me, eyes smoldering with things neither one of us completely understands. Yep, things are definitely heating up.
Jacob yells out that we're five minutes from Earth and Carter heads forward with Teal'c close behind.
I smile at Daniel, almost saying 'alone at last' but I decide to let my fingers do a little talking instead. Up, slowly, to his shoulder...his neck...
His eyes close with a sigh and I can feel him shiver under my fingers. I'll have to remember that spot for later. I want to just pull him down here beside me and do more than a little peaceful exploring of this wonderful new freedom to touch, to feel...
Another shout tells us we're entering the atmosphere and Daniel's eyes open and he jumps away from my touch breathing deeply like he's been holding his breath. With a shaky smile, he pulls me up and lets go of my arm for the first time since I came aboard. The warmth lingers for a long moment and I almost moan at the loss. He looks over toward the door then dips down to touch his hand to my cheek, smiling a promise.
"Later?"
Oh, yeah.
Later.
I like that.
****
I thought Fraiser would never let me out of there. I'm walking, I'm talking, I'm breathing...all of which I'm very grateful for, but she seems to think I need every damn test in her heavy arsenal to be sure of it. Daniel is standing over there trying to hide a smile while she prods on my chest for the umpteenth time.
Teal'c's already been cut loose and he was up there just as long as I was - a fact I open my mouth to point out when Fraiser slaps me on the arm and tells me I can go.
About damn time.
I break the speed record getting dressed and move back to where Daniel is waiting.
Daniel is waiting.
For me.
Now what?
"Let's go home." Daniel says softly.
Home.
That sounds good.
A light touch on my back pushes me out the door in front of him...and sends sparks down my spine that nearly stop me in my tracks.
Home.
We need to go home.
****
Home.
There's my door. Where's the key? Oh, Daniel's got it. Remember he drove us home. I remember watching him drive...so focused and conscientious. He gives driving the same direct attention he gives everything else he does...and I doubt he even noticed me watching his profile the whole way like I'd never seen him before. I haven't really, not like this. Not as someone I love.
Someone I love?
Yeah.
Like that.
He's inside the house now, looking back from the shadows...waiting. And I hesitate for a moment, not quite ready to cross the threshold of what is to what will be when I do. Then he smiles...sweet, hesitating...and I move.
The door closes and I'm in his arms, holding him close with all the force of knowing how close I came to never having this. Feeling this warm, beautiful person nervously shivering against me as the same realization hits. We came so close to never knowing...
It's easy to find his lips in the dark, just down a bit and over, and then I'm seeing sparks and hearing bells and the world really does flip over on its axis and I want to make a joke about the Earth moving but it did...it really did. Then he's laughing like I did say it, and maybe he was thinking the same thing, and that's okay. We need to laugh, need to feel...
He's got me by the hand now, leading me toward the stairs. Just when did I lose control of this situation? Hell, Jack, did you ever have control? Did you ever want it? Then we're there and he's kissing me again and my hand fumbles for the lamp switch because I really, really want to see this...
His hands are shaking hard as he tries to undo my shirt. The hell with this, I pull the thing off over my head and do the same for him. God, he's so... Wow...
My little archaeologist has grown up...and how. He leans in close for another kiss, I grin as I feel his swelling cock against me. My, how he's grown.
I reach around for his belt, brushing over his erection slowly and feel his body shudder all over. I did that, I made him so hard he's shaking with passion and need, and suddenly I know...more than ever...that I want to keep doing that for a long, long time...
His fingers dance over my chest and back like he's trying to map the territory, then his tongue joins in and he's making his way down my chest...laying claim to me and I want him to...more than I've ever wanted anything....
I'm his, he's mine...and nothing will ever change that again.
His very talented fingers make short work of my belt and zipper then my own cock is free and standing up for inspection. I guess I pass muster because he smiles up at me, eyes nearly glazed with passion and licks his lips. God, I love when he does that. Then his tongue is on me and I almost explode with the feeling...
"God, Daniel...."
He must realize I'm close because he stops with a last teasing lick and moves back up to eye level...looking, just looking....
"I love you, Jack..."
God, yes.
I reach out and pull him in again, laughing with the pure pleasure of being alive; being here...with the man I love.
I lean back and look at him again, smiling that shy, half-assed grin that tells me he's happy. I haven't seen that smile very often...now it's plastered there like it won't ever go away and my knees go weak with the rush of knowing I don't want it to.
"God, I love you..."
The smile fades a little with the words and I know he knows how hard it was for me to say that...and that I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. He nods once, eyes bright with the knowing, and then he's back in my arms and leading me to the bed....
My pants and shoes are gone - how the hell did he do that? - and I want him the same way, want to feel him next to me...
Then he is and we're falling into the bed in a rush of arms and legs and tongues....
We fumble a little with the mechanics, but damn, what a field goal with the feelings. What we lack in finesse we more than make up for in motivation...pushing hard together toward something that's been building from day one and neither one of us ever knew it..
His hands should be registered and trademarked. Damn talented hands...
My tongue finds that spot on his neck, just under the ear, and he yelps and shudders again. Hallelujah. Who knew Daniel had so many erogenous zones? Moving down, I find another at his hip, laving over the place where his body stretches into those long, long legs...then I find myself eye to head with his cock and pounce.
Sweet Jesus, Mary and Joseph...
I almost come from the moan he makes as I take it into my mouth...a long, low sound slipping slowly into my name...and I'm struck all over again by how much I love this man. With a last lingering kiss on the head of his cock, I make my way back up his body...ready... more than ready...
Then he's drawing me up, down, into his mouth in a long kiss and we're moving again, cocks sliding alongside one another in a dance both strange and familiar. Our bodies know what our brains never wanted to admit...maybe never would have if I hadn't almost died up there. We belong together, here, like this...pushing against each other in the closest thing to perfect I've ever known...
Then I'm coming with a shout, a cry really, and he's there just a moment behind me and we hold on tight while the world stops moving and we remember how to breathe on our own again...
My heart slows down to something closer to normal and I feel his hand on my hair. Raising up on my elbows, I look down at him...face all wet and soft with sweat and tears, love shining out of his eyes so bright I'm surprised it isn't burning us both...
"Welcome home, Jack..."
Home.
Yes.
Hell, yes.
I'm finally home.
*fin*