Wish!

by jeankct

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asj/jeankct/wish.php
Summary: Daniel finds a wishing well with predictably chaotic results! { I wrote this during my recent spell of injury, which probably explains a lot!!}

Daniel was untidy. Jack didn't realize just how untidy Daniel could be until they began living together. Then he found out. Daniel took untidiness to new heights that Jack had only previously had dreams about. Bad dreams. Daniel never put his clothes away. He never hung anything up if he could throw it on the floor or a chair instead. He left hairs in the bathroom. He left nail clippings on the floor. He got out books and put them on tables or on the floor. He never cleared anything up when he cooked. If he ate a pizza he left the box lying around, sometimes with scraps of pizza still in it. He walked around the house barefoot and often naked and trod in things that he had dropped and then spread them about. He liked to dig the back yard wearing only jeans and NOTHING else and get filthy. Then he would bring mud into the house and not clear it up. If he was very tired he would go to bed without taking a shower first, or cleaning his teeth.

Jack was passionately tidy and neat. He never made a mess anywhere no matter what he was doing. He always cleaned the bathroom when he used it. He never brought mud into the house but would strip in the doorway before he came in rather than bring in dirt. He always put his books away. He always emptied the trash and didn't let it pile up and become smelly like Daniel did. He never left nail clippings on the floor but put down newspaper first and then threw the paper carefully away. When he cleaned his teeth he always put the toothpaste back in the bathroom cabinet. He spent hours cleaning and polishing his boots. He showered night and morning if possible and cleaned his teeth religiously three times a day. Even on missions he took toothpaste.

Jack and Daniel loved each other. Sexually they were overwhelmingly compatible. On missions they were a formidable team. At home they argued. About tidying. And cleaning. And cooking. And hygiene. And gardening. And.....and...

On UG112 Jack found himself very bored. Teal'c found himself very bored. Sam Carter found herself very bored. Daniel found himself down a hole. The planet was uninhabited and most of it was covered in water. The Gate was situated on a small rocky Island. There were a number of caves on the Island. Daniel found a piece of pottery near one cave just as Jack was planning to order everyone home. Daniel became very excited about the pottery and started to dig a hole as soon as he could. Teal'c helped for a while and then went to pee and didn't return for an hour. He didn't say what he'd been doing but Jack thought he was just escaping from the hole. Sam dug for a while and then said she had cramp. Jack dug for a while and then said his knees were aching. They sat and watched Daniel digging and felt guilty they were not helping. They didn't feel quite guilty enough to actually help again though. Daniel loved digging and went on and on with enthusiasm. He found more pottery and grew more and more excited.

Jack loved watching Daniel dig, especially if he removed clothing. Daniel kept digging and digging and finding more pottery until only the top of his head was visible. Then it grew dark and Jack called for Daniel to stop digging and have supper. Daniel climbed out of his hole with difficulty. He was naked to the waist and filthy dirty. He was holding a small statue in his hand.

"Look" Daniel exclaimed, waving the statue at the rest of SG1 "it's Roman, I'm sure".

Teal'c, Sam and Jack obediently looked. The statue was about a foot high and showed a man wearing a cloak. The cloak was being held open by the man and was full of fruit. The most noticeable thing about the statue, however, was its enormous penis.

"It's a statuette of Priapus" said Daniel beaming happily at his companions.

"Great" said Jack "I like it a lot. It's very.....endowed".

"I like it too" said Sam and immediately flushed and started to busy herself with supper.

"Priapus was responsible for the fertility of gardens and farms" said Daniel "I'm not a Roman expert but I think the theory is that he was a son of Dionysius. He also protected property."

"Very interesting" said Jack, sounding bored, " now let's eat. Then we'll sleep, then we'll go home"

"Not yet, Jack" Daniel protested " there might be more artifacts, and we haven't even been inside a cave yet!"

"Eat, sleep, home!" repeated Jack, firmly " and go wash up before you eat".

"One of my foster parents said everyone should eat a peck of dirt before they die" said Daniel, trying not to sound as if he was whining and failing.

"Just go wash up" said Jack, wondering what the hell a peck was "that's an order".

"Yes, Master" said Daniel, bowing "your wish is my command, oh mighty one. I'll wash priapus too, he's a bit muddy".

Daniel went off to clean himself and a half hour later hadn't returned. Sam, the worst cook, according the the rest of SG1, in the universe, had managed to singe some spaghetti for supper, and there was no sign of Daniel anywhere. Jack left Sam and Teal'c eating and went to look for Daniel. He soon found him. In a hole. Not the first hole. A different hole. This hole was partly filled with water. Daniel was covered in wet mud. Even his face was muddy. He looked extremely happy.

"Jack" Daniel shouted, as soon as he spotted his lover "guess what...I think I've found a well".

"Fantastic" said Jack, crouching on the edge of the hole with great care.

"I think there was a Villa somewhere around here" Daniel continued happily "The Goa'uld must have brought some Romans here at some time."

"They aren't here now though" Jack sighed "no-one is....except us, of course!"

"We MUST stay and investigate this, Jack!" Daniel exclaimed "it could be a very important find!"

"We're going home" Jack stated "tomorrow".

"OH" Daniel shouted, ignoring Jack's statement completely, "I think I've found some brickwork......it's still intact....oh.., this is magnificent....it's here... all in one piece!"

Daniel waved at Jack to come down "come and look, Jack" he shouted "it's fabulous!"

Jack gave in and carefully slid down the side of the hole to join Daniel. At the bottom of the hole a circular structure was visible. Mud covered much of it, but it was possible to see that it was a well. A deep one too. Along the top of the brickwork letters became visible as Daniel, with help from a reluctant Jack, cleared away some of the mud.

Jack peered at the letters. "It's something about wishes" he said, at last, " fuck, it's a wishing well!"

Daniel stopped clearing away mud and looked at the letters closely. "You're right" he said "it says.....something something something and your wish will come true!"

At that moment Sam and Teal'c appeared, leaning together over the edge of the hole, which was by then around 7 foot deep.

"Daniel" said Jack solemnly, "has found a wishing well".

"Good" said Sam "in that case I wish I was a great cook and you two would come and eat NOW!"

Nothing happened. Daniel and Jack remained in the hole. "You probably have to be in contact with the water" said Daniel. He laughed and rubbed even more mud on his cheeks. "I wish..." he began, but before he could continue Jack said quickly "I wish Daniel was tidier".

"Daniel wouldn't be our Daniel if he was suddenly all neat and houseproud" said Sam.

"You're right" agreed Jack, he rubbed his hands in the wet mud and said loudly "I wish Daniel was back how he was".

"Your grammar" sighed Daniel "is terrible. Let's get out of this hole, I'm starved".

Getting out of the hole was difficult since it was now so deep, but ,with Teal'c and Sams help, Jack and Daniel were soon out and making their way back to camp. The spaghetti was burnt and really disgusting but they all ate it anyhow. Then, and only then, did the subject of washing arise. Jack, Teal'c and Sam hurried to the nearby river which ran straight from the sea. Daniel was not too enthusiastic about bathing in salt water.

"I'm not going in THAT!" Daniel said in a determined tone "I'm going to crouch down by the shore. After all, I shall only get filthy again almost immediately!"

"You" said Jack " are slovenly!"

"I AM NOT!" Daniel shouted.

"You are" Jack insisted.

"I'm very neat and organized in my Lab" Daniel insisted "I just don't like sea water. I've had some very unfortunate things happen to me in sea water!"

"What things?" asked Sam with interest.

"I don't want to talk about it now" said Daniel "but don't worry, I'll be clean. I won't stink."

"Well if you don't wash" said Jack "you'll sleep outside tonite, and the nights are VERY cold"

"O.K." sighed Daniel "O.K. I'll wash up, but I'll be filthy again tomorrow."

As they walked back to their camp later Jack asked Daniel if he had made a wish when he was in the hole.

"Sure I did" Daniel answered, laughing.

"What was it?" asked Jack.

"I'm not telling!" Daniel said firmly " you'll soon see if it comes true!"

Jack couldn't get Daniel to say any more about his wish, even though he kept bothering the younger man to tell him. Of course, it was all rubbish, Jack thought, but stranger things had happened to them in the last several years!

When Daniel awoke the following morning the first thing he thought of was whether his wish had come true. He reluctantly got out of his cosy sleeping bag and went to pee. He noticed as soon as he did that his wish hadn't come true. He found Jack and the others eating breakfast and talking about what time they would leave the planet. Sam had prepared breakfast. She SAID it was porridge. Daniel had eaten porridge on a vacation in Scotland. You were supposed to eat it covered in salt! Sam's version bore no resemblance to porridge. In fact, it bore very little resemblance to food. They all ate it because they were hungry. They moaned all the time though. Teal'c said that he had wanted to prepare breakfast but Sam had insisted. She wanted to see if her wish had come true. It was obvious to them all that it hadn't.

After breakfast they packed up to make their return to Earth. Daniel went to his well hole, climbed down into it, getting filthy again, and took some samples of the water and mud for analysis. While he was doing this he couldn't help wondering, aloud, what would happen to the base if the water and mud from the well actually could grant wishes. He couldn't get out of the hole unaided, so Teal'c had to come and help. Jack was not pleased because now Teal'c and Daniel were both muddy. Jack hated mud.

"It doesn't even work" Jack complained, as they made their way back to the Gate.

"Just as well" said Daniel, who was sploshing along in the rear, dropping dirt everywhere he went "I wished that everyone on the base would be able to do whatever they liked for a week!"

Jack waited for Daniel to catch up with him, and then smeared some of Daniel's mud on his own cheeks. "I'll make a wish then" he said "in fact I'll make two! I wish Sam WAS a really great cook and I wish you would become a neat freak! For a week. It'll never happen!" Daniel laughed at that and so did Sam. Even Teal'c looked SLIGHTLY amused.

Half an hour later they landed one after the other on the ramp in the Gate room. When they rose to their feet they were greeted by............the usual people who were there on such occasions. There was a problem though
......everyone was naked. COMPLETELY NAKED! General Hammond was there. He was naked. It was not a pleasing sight. Generals are just not made to be naked in public. As if the nakedness wasn't alarming enough two marines were leaning against the wall of the Gate room having sex. Two male marines. A small group of people were observing them with interest and several of these were quite openly masturbating. Jack was horrified. He hoped it wasn't contagious. He didn't want to suddenly find he was fucking Daniel in public!

"OH FUCK!" exclaimed Jack, loudly " what DID you wish for Daniel?"

"I told you!" said Daniel, angrily, "I just wished people could do whatever they liked...it isn't MY fault they want to be naked!"

"Someone else must have made a wish" said Jack "Captain, was it you?"

Sam gritted her teeth, and muttered "No it wasn't...Sir".

"Teal'c?" Jack asked, looking at the big man, who was watching the marines having public sex with great interest.

Teal'c actually looked embarrassed. "Well" he said, and then stopped and gazed intently at a nearby wall "I may have had a passing thought...."

"Oh, God!" Jack shouted "I thought you had more sense...I thought we ALL had more sense!"

"I am finding all this extremely interesting" said Teal'c.

"So is everyone else" said Sam, who was red in the face, but who nevertheless wasn't moving anywhere.

Jack glanced at Daniel and was alarmed to find that while he had been distracted with Sam and Teal'c Daniel had begun to remove all his clothing.He was already naked to the waist and was about to remove his pants.

"What the....what DO you think you're doing, Daniel?" Jack shouted.

"I would have thought that was obvious" said Daniel cheerfully "I'm removing my clothing".

"WHY?" Jack exclaimed.

Daniel paused with his pants halfway down his hips. He looked puzzled for a moment. Then he smiled happily and said "we're on the base!" As if that explained everything. Jack was horrified. He was even MORE horrified when both Sam and Teal'c began to remove all their clothing as well. He left the Gate room and hurried to the Infirmary where he hoped some common sense might prevail. On the way there he couldn't help noticing that everyone except himself was naked. He sighed with relief when he reached the Infirmary. His relief lasted about a second. EVERYONE in the Infirmary was naked. Janet spotted him as he came through the main door and waved her hand at him. A large number of people were gathered around something happening in the center of the room. There was a lot of shouting and cheering going on over there. Jack advanced with caution.

Jack pushed through the crowd of people until he could see what it was that had everyone so excited. When he finally was able to see he wished he hadn't bothered. The infirmary was having a cockroach race. The roaches had different colored spots painted on their backs and were running through transparent tubes towards what appeared to be pieces of chocolate cake. It crossed Jack's mind that his usual reaction to a roach was to step on it. While he was thinking about squashed roaches he heard the Infirmary doors open and looked around to see who was coming in. It was the rest of SG1.

Daniel, Teal'c and Sam came hurrying up to the center of attraction and pushed their way into the crowd. The race was over and obviously another was about to start. People were betting on their favorite roach. Daniel, Teal'c and Sam were all unashamedly naked. No-one but Jack seemed to notice or care.

"Jack" cried Daniel cheerfully, spotting his lover in the crowd, which wasn't difficult since he alone was clothed "you're here!"

"Yeh" said Jack, trying to avoid looking at Daniel's groin, and butt, and....and...everything.

"That's great!" exclaimed Daniel, smiling broadly " we've come for the races...everyone's talking about them...it's really exciting!"

Jack thought that everyone except him was behaving VERY oddly indeed, especially Daniel, who was normally quite shy about his body. Daniel looked gorgeous as usual. His skin glowing, his nipples looking perky, his penis swinging as he moved. He was at least half erect, Jack couldn't help but notice. Daniel also looked VERY happy. He looked, in fact, as if he had drunk some sort of alien happy juice.

"Jack!" Daniel shouted " take your clothes off!"

"Not just now" Jack mumbled, wishing Daniel would stop shouting.

"I love you without your clothes" Daniel enthused loudly.

"I think" Teal'c intervened "it would be wise if you removed your garments. You are making SG1 look conspicuous".

"Yes, Sir" said Sam "please take everything off. It's really embarrassing having you standing there covered up".

At that inopportune moment General Hammond entered the Infirmary, just as the next roach race was about to start. He was still naked, of course. Everyone stood back so he could get close to the action.

"Colonel O'Neill" the General said firmly " remove those unnecessary garments IMMEDIATELY, or I personally, will put you ON A CHARGE".

"Yes, Sir" said Jack, flushing red. He stepped back and swiftly began to strip, while EVERYONE watched him. He wished the ground would open up and swallow him. Much to his relief, however, when he reached his underpants most people lost interest in him and turned back to the cockroaches.

"I'll put a bet on the red one" General Hammond said, as he gazed at the roaches.

"I think the blue one" said Daniel.

"It's the smallest" Sam pointed out.

"Small and fast" said Daniel.

"I prefer the large green roach" said Teal'c "I shall put a bet on that one".

"I'm betting on the blue one" said Daniel stubbornly.

" I like the yellow one" said Sam " look how it's squirming, it's eager to start running".

If it runs near me I'll stamp on it, thought Jack., as he listened in amazement to their conversation. The roaches were pushed into the tunnels and most started running frantically. Jack suddenly felt quite sorry for them. They were terrified, he thought sentimentally. He decided they needed rescuing. He advanced stealthily towards the crowd. He moved through them, pushing those who wouldn't let him pass. He reached the row of tables that had been pushed together upon which the race was taking place. With a mighty heave he overturned them. The roaches escaped onto the infirmary floor. Jack watched them run with an overwhelming feeling of pleasure.

Unfortunately, no-one else in the Infirmary thought Jack had performed an act of mercy. Some people screamed and climbed on tables or chairs. Some tried to catch the running cockroaches in a variety of containers, none of which had been designed to catch insects. Some turned on Jack, angrily.

"I bet NONE of you can catch any of them" Jack shouted, desperately, as a number of large, angry naked men advanced upon him. To his great surprise, they immediately abandoned all ideas of beating him senseless and joined the throng of cockroach chasers. Cockroaches can run very fast. Cockroaches can also climb very fast. Naked people can't do either of these things with any degree of efficiency. Around thirty people were pursuing around ten cockroaches. About twelve other people were screaming from the safety of tables and chairs. Around ten others were just watching the proceedings. Suddenly someone opened one of the main Infirmary doors. Several roaches ran out, followed by at least twenty eight people.

Jack followed the crowd with interest. Teal'c and Sam were in the thick of it, he noticed. Teal'c was holding a tea cup in one hand and Sam had a small box with Sharps written on the side. Janet was near the front and every now then Jack heard her shout things like "there he goes... there's one up there....get the one on there.. missed again.." and such like. Jack went back to the Infirmary to look for Daniel. He soon spotted the younger man, He was lying on his stomach on the floor with his head and arms under a desk. As Jack entered the Infirmary he heard Daniel saying, in a wheedling tone "come on...come to Daddy, there's a good little roach...come on and I'll give you some cake". Jack advanced on Daniel slowly, admiring the sight before his eyes. Daniel, he thought, had easily the most fantastic butt in the entire world.

Suddenly, a VERY large cockroach, with a green spot painted on its back, ran out from under the desk. With remarkable daring and speed it ran straight over Daniel's head and body and jumped to the floor. Then it rushed out of the still open Infirmary door. Daniel got to his feet and ran after it, ignoring Jack completely. Jack ran after Daniel. Three other people ran after Jack. The roach ran under another door and disappeared. The door proved to be locked.

"Oh, FUCK!" Daniel shouted "I've lost it".

"Good!" said Jack "perhaps you'll come to your senses now".

"There's nothing wrong with cockroach racing" said Daniel, scowling at Jack "it's a well known form of entertainment!"

"I've never heard of it" said Jack.

"It must be" said Daniel "we all knew just how to go about it, and it was very exciting!"

"I think we should find some clothing" said Jack.

"What for?" asked Daniel, looking quite vacant for a moment.

"We don't normally go around naked in public" Jack explained carefully.

"I like being naked" said Daniel, smiling again " and you look splendid, Jack."

"So do you, but...." Jack began, before Daniel stopped all further conversation by grabbing him and kissing him soundly. However things might have developed from then on remained unknown though, because, at that very moment, a large roach with a green spot on its back ran over Jack's feet. Jack leaned down and grabbed it quickly. He stood up and showed it to Daniel. It was wriggling frantically in Jack's grasp. Then the most amazing thing happened. Both Jack and Daniel were looking at the cockroach, when it suddenly spoke!

"PUT ME DOWN, YOU BASTARD!" the cockroach shouted "YOU'RE SQUASHING ME!"

"Oh, shut up" said Jack....what were you supposed to say to a cockroach anyhow, he thought.

"Give him to me" ordered Daniel, and so Jack released the cockroach which fell rapidly down towards the floor, screaming loudly. Daniel caught it deftly and placed it carefully on the palm of his hand. It shook itself. Both Jack and Daniel were staring at it, fascinated.

"Stop staring" the cockroach ordered " didn't your mother ever tell you it was rude to stare?"

"Sorry" said Daniel politely " but we've never heard a cockroach talk before".

"How d'you think we communicate with each other" snapped the roach in an irritated tone "smoke signals?"

Daniel laughed "sorry" he said again "I'm Daniel and this is Jack".

"I'm Darbyshire" said the roach "I'm usually called Darby for short, I was named after my Father and he was named after his Father and....well...there's been a long line of Darbyshires in our family so you'd better not injure me because I haven't mated yet".

"We didn't know you could speak" said Daniel.

"We don't speak English" said Darby " we speak our own language, it's beautiful....why we have fifty words for trash alone. This is the first time anything you mans have said that I've understood. We try to keep out of your way. Only last week my brother Frederick was squashed by a door."

"I'm very sorry about your brother" said Daniel "err...did he survive?"

"Of course he didn't" Darby said indignantly "we had to scrape him off the floor afterward. He was barely recognizable, and to make things even worse, my great Grandfather James Hattersby was frozen to death in a refrigerator the very next day. It was a VERY upsetting week".

"You must have a sad life" said Daniel sympathetically " wouldn't you prefer to be Human?"

"I wouldn't mind trying it for a short while" mused Darby.

"I wish you could be Human" said Daniel, and even as the word human issued from his mouth there was a blinding flash of light which enveloped both Daniel and Darby. As soon as Jack and Daniel could see clearly again, they realized that Daniel's wish had come true. Darby the roach was gone and standing between Jack and Daniel was a tall, well built young man with black hair and brown eyes.

"Oh, fuck" said the new Darby, and promptly bust into floods of tears "now I'll never be able to mate with Polly and Flossie and the others...and I'll never see darling Bruno again".

"Great" Jack snapped " that's all we need... a gay cockroach".

Daniel leaned forward and kissed Darby on the cheek. "You'll enjoy being human" he said " and if you don't I can always wish you back again".

"I want you to do it right now" Darby told Daniel "I want to be me again".

Daniel tried. He really tried hard. He wished... and wished...and wished. It didn't work. Darby remained human.

"Well if I'm stuck like this" Darby shouted at last "you two can take my place. I wish you were both cockroaches".

So it came to pass that the cockroach world suddenly had two new, and very scared members.

Jack and Daniel's first reaction to their unexpected predicament was to wish they were human again. It didn't work. They tried again and again. It still didn't work. In the end they ran under a door and huddled together shuddering in anguish. After a while they started to calm down and try to deal with the situation. Daniel, in particular, discovered a new and thrilling ability to run up walls and across ceilings. He ran about, shouting to Jack at intervals..."look, I'm on the ceiling.....now I'm hanging on a wire...look I'm running up a wall."

Jack stayed firmly put on the floor. He watched Daniel running about with a growing feeling of desperation. It was, he thought, absolutely typically of Daniel that he would find SOMETHING interesting about being a cockroach. Daniel found EVERYTHING interesting. Jack was depressed. While Daniel ran about Jack examined his new body. He didn't like it at all. He had too many legs for a start. He counted six. He also had far too many knees. Jack hated knees. He had had so much bother with knees over the years. Now he had lots of them. He counted about eighteen in all. As for his head. No words could describe how he felt about that! His vision was also very hard to deal with. He could see almost all around him at the same time. It made him dizzy.

Finally, Daniel joined Jack on the floor. He nudged Jack with several legs. "Did you watch me?" he asked cheerfully.

"You made me dizzy" Jack moaned "I wish you were human again".

There was immediately a familiar blinding flash of light and Daniel the cockroach was gone. Daniel the naked human was back, looking distinctly dazed. "I wish Jack was human again" he said quickly "like me".

This was obviously a huge mistake. Suddenly there were TWO Daniels. Daniel 1 stared at Daniel 2 and began to laugh. Daniel 2 looked down at himself. Then he put his hands on his face. "Oh, fuck" he shouted "quick, wish properly".

"I wish Jack was Jack again" said Daniel 1 trying to stop laughing without much success. Nothing happened. Daniel 1 tried wishing using different words. Nothing happened. Jack remained a Daniel clone. "I think we'll have to find someone else to wish for us" Daniel 1 said at last. They left the large closet they were in and ventured somewhat nervously into the corridor.

"How the fuck are we going to explain why there's two of us?" complained Jack, as they walked along.

"We'll just tell the truth" said Daniel, calmly "everyone's behaving so weirdly ,no-one'll be surprised".

Despite those words, however, when Jack and Daniel rounded the next corner and almost bumped into Teal'c and Sam going the other way, both Teal'c and Sam were visibly amazed. Both of Teal'cs eyebrows rose up at least two inches.

"Daniel?" gasped Sam " what's happened? What's going on?"

"We met up with a cockroach and Daniel turned it into a human and couldn't turn it back" Jack explained "so, in revenge I suppose, it turned us into cockroaches and..."

"It was exciting in some strange way" Daniel interjected "I ran across the ceiling...more than once and..."

"Then I managed to make Daniel human again" said Jack " but he couldn't get it right....so now I'm him...or at least I look just like him. It's extremely weird."

"So you're the Colonel?" said Sam, looking at Jack, or rather Daniel number 2.

"Yes" Jack sighed "I don't mind being younger...but I'd rather have looked like ME younger".

Teal'c was studying both Daniels with interest. "I must confess I find this extremely fascinating" he said "this phaenomenon of wishes coming true is unprecedented in my experience. I wonder if you could become another insect, or an animal if I or SamanthaCarter wished it so?"

"PLEASE DON'T" Jack moaned "things are bad enough as it is".

At that very moment, as the words issued from his mouth, a loud growling was heard coming closer. They all looked to see what it was just as a tiger came ambling in a leisurely fashion around the next corner towards them.

"RUN!" yelled Jack, and they all started to run. Unfortunately the tiger started to run too. After them. They sought shelter at the next door they came to, which happened to be a Ladies rest room. Two women were in there at the time. One was in a cubicle and the other was just coming out of a cubicle. She gave a loud scream when she saw three men entering the rest room. She screamed even louder when the door opened again and the tiger ran in. Then she ran past it and disappeared. The tiger paused in the doorway, gave a visible sigh and then said "It's me" in a very familiar voice.

"Janet?" Sam gasped.

"One of my idiot nurses did this!" Janet cried.

"Why didn't you get her to turn you back right away?" asked Daniel.

"Because" Janet explained " some other idiot turned her into a rabbit!"

Jack started to laugh. Daniel, trying not to laugh with him, said quickly "I wish Janet was human Janet again". Janet was very pleased to be herself again. Even if she was still naked. They were all still naked. They were, in fact, fast getting used to it. Before any of them could decide what to do next though, Darbyshire, the cockroach turned human, came running into the rest room. He looked desperate.

"I HATE this body!" Darby shouted desperately, "it's only got two legs and it feels weird".

Janet and the four members of SG1 studied Darby with interest. They couldn't help noticing that his cock was swollen, but not really fully erect. Jack sighed heavily.

"You probably need to piss" Jack said helpfully.

"Piss?" Darby said, looking blank.

"Pee, er...urinate" Jack explained.

"I'll give you a hand" said Daniel.

"Don't you dare!" Jack complained "I'm sure he can piss on his own".

Darby could piss on his own as he immediately demonstrated. He proceeded to do it all over the rest room floor, sighing with relief as he did so. Everyone groaned and moved out of his way. Darby looked puzzled. When he finished he stood gazing at them while his cock dripped the last few drops down his leg. He wiped the drips off with one hand and then licked the hand.

"I'm returning to the Infirmary" Janet announced "you men can deal with this without my help".

"I'm coming with you" said Sam, as she and Janet left the rest room.

"I also feel a need to go to the Infirmary" Teal'c said to Daniel and Jack {or rather Daniel and Daniel}.

"We'd better go some place else" Jack said to Daniel ,as they watched Teal'c leaving "before some more females find us here".

Jack and Daniel wandered back out into the corridor, followed by Darby. As soon as they left the rest room a woman emerged from a cubicle. She made sure all the men were really gone before SHE ventured into the corridor.

"Where are we going?" Daniel asked Jack as the three of them wandered aimlessly along the corridor.

"We need to find someplace quiet" Jack said "without security cameras".

"We could disable them" Daniel pointed out "I don't think anyone would care at the moment".

As if to prove the truth of his words, at that very moment several dogs ran past them. They consisted of a number of indeterminate breeds plus a small black Poodle, which was running along at the back, shouting at intervals "wait for me you bastards".

Jack, Daniel and Darby got into an elevator. It was already occupied by a couple of men who Jack and Daniel recognized as members of the kitchen staff. They were both naked. They had large boxes at their feet.

"What's in the boxes" asked Daniel, since Jack had his back to the men in an attempt to hide the fact that he and Daniel were now identical twins.

"Gold" said one of the men.

"It was trash" said the other man "we wished it into gold".

At the next floor the two men struggled out with their heavy burdens. Jack, Daniel and Darby got out later and found a nice big storeroom filled with Toilet requisites. Darby began to open the containers and examine the contents. Much to Jack and Daniel's surprise he soon unearthed a large container full of condoms. Naturally he opened one package and pulled out several condoms.

"What are these?" asked Darby, holding one up to study it closely.

"You er..." Jack mumbled.

"You put one on your cock" Daniel said unabashed "they stop you making a female pregnant and they're also useful for protection against various unpleasant diseases".

Darby started to laugh. "But it's so small!" he said.

"It opens out" Daniel said, slightly irritated by Darbys laughter. He snatched up a condom and removed it from its wrapping.

"Darby looked at the condom with amazement. "How can you put that on yourself?" he asked "and why...."

"You have to roll it on" Daniel said.

Darby looked down at his now limp cock. "I don't see how you could do that" he commented.

Jack sighed and snatched the condom from Daniel's hand. "You have to get hard first!" he shouted. He grabbed at his cock and started to rub it, staring intently at Daniel as he did so. He knew he was behaving oddly and totally out of character but he couldn't seem to stop himself.

"Jack" Daniel gasped "cameras!"

"Fuck the cameras!" Jack moaned. He was getting very excited and suddenly wanted to make love with Daniel quite urgently. He moved over to him and put his arms around Daniel's warm body. Daniel responded instantly. They kissed. They started to explore the interior of each others mouths.Their tongues touched and electricity flowed between them. Jack let go of Daniel, grabbed hold of a pack of towels and threw a pile of them onto the floor. He bent down, enjoying the feeling of strength in his new body and spread the towels out over the cement floor. Then he motioned to Daniel to lie down. He still felt like himself in one way, but he was aware that his body was reacting differently now. He lay down beside Daniel. They rolled onto their sides and looked at each other.

"This is weird" said Daniel "you look like me, so now I know what I really look like".

"It's strange alright" said Jack, putting his arms around Daniel, and pressing their bodies together "when I look down at myself I see your cock".

"It's like wanting to fuck with yourself" Daniel mused "I've often thought....what if I could...you know....put my cock up my butt and fuck myself..what would it be like?"

Jack didn't answer. He was busy moving down over Daniel's body, licking, sucking and nipping. He finally reached Daniel's cock and started to flick his tongue over the head, and then in brief, quick movements over the place where the head met the shaft. Then he made Daniel turn around and pushed his tongue right up as far as he could into Daniel. Daniel's tongue was both longer and thinner than Jacks and Jack suddenly was able to push in further than he had ever done before. He removed his tongue and replaced it with Daniel's long index finger. Wriggling it and moving it back and forward. Daniel's cock began to twitch uncontrollably, and he started to groan and moan.

Jack rolled Daniel onto his back. He lifted Daniel's legs up and pushed his knees back and spread Daniel's legs apart as far as they could go. He spat into Daniel and then pushed one, two and then three fingers inside. He moved his fingers in a circular motion, withdrew them, used more spit and then pushed them inside again.

"Lube" Daniel gasped.

"S'O.K." said Jack, in a mumble "you're well open and your spit is wonderful".

Jack moved into position and slipped his aching cock slowly into Daniel, who gasped a bit but then just started his usual panting and moaning. Jack began to thrust, increasing the length and depth rapidly. Suddenly he felt someone touching his body from behind. Someone was examining his butt with careful attention. He groaned and looked around. Darby was pressed against him and he was very aroused. Jack continued to thrust into Daniel, moving quicker and quicker, but Darby was quicker still and Jack shouted with pain as Darby actually penetrated him. He wasn't careful either. Jack couldn't stop moving inside Daniel and having Darby moving inside him made him even more excited, despite a certain amount of pain.

Jack, Daniel and Darby got into a rhythm and things began to get easier for Jack. Daniel came first, shouting loudly something in a foreign language, his body convulsing as he shot all over himself and Jack. The squeezing of his muscles set Jack off and he felt himself spurting hard inside Daniel. His whole body vibrated with the force of his orgasm and he felt as if it lasted much longer than it actually could have. Darby followed suit and withdrew immediately, spurting the last drops over Jack's back. The three of them collapsed in an undignified heap, panting hard.

"So" Darby said after a while, sitting up "that is human mating. I have heard it sometimes. I've never seen it happen. I like it...a lot".

"So do we" said Daniel. He started to clean himself up with a towel. Darby copied him and did the same. Jack lay down and felt limp and tired. "Are you O.K. Jack?" Daniel asked him.

Jack sat up and glared at Darby. "You're supposed to use a lubricant!" he said.

"You didn't" Darby said quite truthfully.

"That's different" Jack tried to explain "Daniel and I... well... we often.. I...."

"We do it a lot" said Daniel, calmly "I know how to relax the right way too...Jack doesn't... we don't often do it that way.. sometimes we do.. but not often".

Darby looked puzzled, but he nodded dutifully. "Next time I mate with him I'll endeavor to find some of this lubricant" he said.

"NEXT TIME?" Jack gasped.

At that inopportune moment the door of the storeroom swung open and General Hammond came in, followed by a number of other people. They were all naked, except General Hammond was wearing a red bandana wrapped around his head. It looked VERY odd indeed.

"So" Hammond said "this is where you are hiding Dr.Jackson....er...and Dr. Jackson?"

"We had a wish problem" said Jack "this is Darby....he's..or rather he was...a cockroach, and I'm Colonel O'Neill".

Darby stood up and quickly went over to the General. "I like your headgear a lot" he said, smiling cheerfully at everyone.

"Some fool wished it on me" the General complained " and now, although I hate it, I can't seem to make myself remove it from my head".

"It's very..." began Jack, and then his mind went blank " er.. red" he continued, stupidly.

"I want SG1 to return to the planet that caused all this chaos" said General Hammond "AND SORT IT OUT! Do you know there's a pack of dogs roaming the building and no-one's doing any work. I've had to search for your team myself".

"What about..?" Jack asked, waving his hand at the four naked men hovering behind the General.

"They" said the General morosely "used to be kitchen utensils. Luckily they can't talk" he added. He waved his hand at one portly, middle aged nude, "this one used to be a wooden spoon" he sighed.

Daniel started to laugh, controlling himself with difficulty he said "of course we'll return to the planet, Sir, as soon as we can."

"Great" moaned Jack, as they all left the storeroom "more mud..fantastic...I can't wait!"

"Darby isn't following us" Daniel said, looking around.

"He stayed with the General" said Jack.

"Great" moaned Daniel, in a quite unconscious imitation of Jack, "now he'll be followed by four kitchen utensils and a cockroach."

Jack started to laugh, and Daniel eventually joined in. They turned the next corner and found their way blocked by several marines, one of whom was obviously pregnant. Everyone seemed to be arguing about something. Leaning against one wall watching the argument was an extremely large ape. The ape had its arms folded and was wearing a straw hat.

"I want this corridor cleared this moment" ordered Jack, pushing his way into the group of arguers.

"Bugger off, Jackson" snarled the pregnant female " this is nothing to do with you."

"I AM COLONEL O'NEILL" Jack shouted.

"And I'm Marilyn Monroe" said the female "I wish you were pregnant, DR JACKSON, I really do, because then you ...."

"I'm Dr Jackson" Daniel interrupted "this actually is Colonel O'Neill".

The pregnant woman looked at Jack and Daniel and flushed red. Then, without a further word, she turned, muttered "sorry" and hurried away. The marines followed her, leaving Jack and Daniel with the ape.

"It's me" said the ape, as soon as he was alone with Jack and Daniel.

"Ferretti?" Jack gasped.

"Yeah" the ape replied, " now, can you wish me myself again and I'll do the same for you, I'm sick and tired of looking like this, and my fur itches".

"I wish Ferretti..." began Jack "I wish Ferretti to no longer be an ape, but be Ferretti again....erm...human...I hope that'll do the trick....er". As he spoke the ape repeated his words except he substituted Jack for Ferretti and Daniel for ape. Luckily both wishes worked and seconds later both Ferretti and Jack were relieved to be themselves again. Daniel wasn't relieved, he was too busy being worried that he might be pregnant.

"Are you O.K?" asked Jack, as Daniel leaned against the wall with a sigh.

"No" Daniel moaned "I think I'm pregnant".

"I wish Daniel wasn't pregnant any more" Ferretti said immediately.

"Men don't get pregnant" said Jack, firmly.

"The General's being followed about by two cook pots, a ladle and a wooden spoon" said Daniel, groaning.

At that moment the General came around the corner. He was still wearing the red bandana on his head. He was holding a box in his arms which, when he reached them, they could all see contained two cook pots, a ladle and a wooden spoon. The General looked pleased with himself.

"I've solved the crisis myself" General Hammond announced.

"Really Sir?" Jack exclaimed.

"I intend to gather everyone on the base together somewhere first" General Hammond explained "I've decided Storeroom eleven is the best place. Go there right away. I shall make an official announcement soon, but you may as well go there now".

"Yes, Sir" said Jack and Ferretti together. Daniel waved one hand and said nothing, he was still worried about being pregnant despite Ferretti wishing he wasn't.

"I wonder how he turned those men back into utensils?" said Ferretti, as the three of them started on their way to the storeroom.

"We should have asked him" Jack sighed "he looked extremely smug, didn't he?"

"I just hope I'm not pregnant" moaned Daniel "I don't want to be pregnant".

"You're not pregnant" Jack told Daniel in a confident tone "so stop worrying".

It took the three men some time to reach Storeroom Eleven because they kept coming face to face with the increasingly weird results of everyone having their wishes come true. It was obvious that people with a grudge against someone were using their new found ability to get revenge. When the companions entered the elevator they found themselves sharing it with an Ostrich, a Camel {the one humped type} and a female covered from head to foot with pornographic tattoos. The Camel seemed particularly interested in the tattoos. The Ostrich merely looked worried, Jack thought. Then he wondered how he could actually tell an Ostrich was worried. He realized, with some shock, that he would never be able to think of animals in quite the same way again now he had spoken with some of them!

At last, they arrived at Storeroom Eleven and found it was already crowded. They pushed their way inside and were just about able to see General Hammond at the far end of the room. He was still naked. He was still wearing the bandana. He was still carrying the box containing two cook pots, a ladle and a wooden spoon. This, Jack thought didn't look promising.

"I've thought of a solution to our problems" Hammond announced loudly "its very simple. I've made two recordings. The first one is designed to undo everyone's wishes. The second one will prevent any wishes being granted in the future. I used my own voice and then altered it. It's unrecognizable as a human voice. I shall now play the recordings. This is the first one."

After a moment they all heard a harsh, mechanical sounding voice saying "I wish that everyone and everything on this base to return to the condition they were in at 8 am this morning."

Jack and Daniel didn't hear the second announcement. Neither did Teal'c or Sam. They suddenly found they were not in the storeroom at all. They were back on UG112! Daniel was in a hole again and covered in wet mud. The others were looking at him from above.

"OH FUCK! " Daniel shouted angrily "I WISH I WAS OUT OF THIS HOLE AND CLEAN AND DRY, I'M SICK OF ALL THIS BOTHER!"

And lo and behold, Daniel was out of the hole, standing beside Teal'c, Jack and Sam. He was clean and dry too.

"DANIEL!" yelled Jack "what have you done?"

"I just wished......." Daniel mumbled "Oh, hell!"

"It appears that General Hammond has not succeeded in his endeavors" said Teal'c solemnly.

"Yes he has" said Sam "we're here, aren't we?"

Teal'c sighed loudly. "Of course" he said "I meant his second wish has not succeeded".

"It may have" said Jack "remember, when we arrived home before....everyone was naked...it obviously works over VAST distances!"

"It is totally illogical!" Teal'c complained.

"The older I get the more illogical everything seems" Sam commented, "have you thought that we might be dreaming?"

"ALL AT THE SAME TIME?" shouted Jack.

"Stranger things have happened" Sam replied.

"I don't feel too good" Daniel said loudly "I think I'm going to throw up". He promptly did so, just missing Jack's boots by inches. He peered at the mess on the ground and said in a surprisingly cheerful voice "look, that's the remains of my breakfast".

"DANIEL!" Jack shouted. He moved away from Daniel, well away. He continued to shout. "I THINK WE SHOULD GO HOME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AND FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON THERE".

"Jack, your shouting is making my ears hurt" Daniel complained.

"Oh" Jack said "It's just been such a TERRIBLE day. I was actually a COCKROACH for a time".

"Nothing interesting happened to me at all" Sam moaned "I never even got to be a cockroach".

"I liked it" said Daniel "I wish I could still run up walls".

Before anyone could say anything else, Daniel got to his feet and promptly made a run at a sheer rock face a short distance away. He ran up it without difficulty and then ran down again. "This could be very useful" he exclaimed, as he rejoined his three shocked companions.

Jack sat down on the ground and put his head in his hands."Stop wishing, Daniel" he said "that's an order".

"You can't give me orders, Jack" said Daniel, spinning in circles with his arms outstretched "I'm an arc...an arc...I'm very clever...and I'm not in the military...I'm a civ...a civlen".

Jack stood up again and grabbed hold of Daniel to stop him spinning. Daniel smiled happily at Jack and mumbled "do you want to fuck me, Jack, I like that....I like it a lot...let's do it..."

"He's not in his right mind" Jack informed Teal'c and Sam quickly. He realized that his worries were unfounded, however. Teal'c was lying on his back a short distance away. He appeared to be asleep. Teal'c didn't sleep, normally. Sam was trying to make a tower out of a heap of stones. The stones kept falling down. After a moment She began to cry.

"I wish everyone was back to normal" Jack said. To his dismay, nothing happened. "You say it, Daniel" he instructed.

"I'll say anything you want, Jack" Daniel said, rubbing as much of himself as he could up against Jack in a very suggestive manner.

"O.K" Jack sighed "I wish...

"I wish" repeated Daniel, attempting to kiss Jack's left ear.

"Everyone was back..." Jack continued, trying to ignore what Daniel was doing to his ear, without much success.

"Everyone was back" Daniel repeated obediently.

"To normal" Jack finished, moving his head out of Daniel's reach with difficulty.

"To normal" Daniel said, trying to get at Jack's ear again.

The result of this was that there was a blinding flash of light and when Jack opened his eyes again he found he was not on UG112. He wasn't even on the base. He was sitting on the deck of his house, wearing nothing but sweat pants and holding a newspaper in his hands. He put the newspaper down and went inside the house. Daniel was in the kitchen, looking surprised, wearing nothing at all, and holding a cookie in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.

"We seem to be off base" Daniel said, disposing of the cookie by the simple expedient of putting it straight into his mouth.

" I wonder where Sam and Teal'c are?" Jack mused, " at home, I suppose". He suddenly began to laugh. Daniel looked at him in amazement and then joined in. "General Hammond was wearing a bandana" Jack choked out " and Janet was a tiger and Ferretti was an ape and I was fucked by a cockroach called Darby".

"There was a pack of dogs running about" Daniel said, wiping his streaming eyes ineffectually with the back of his hands "one of them was a poodle. They ran past us. The poodle couldn't keep up".

They collapsed against one another and laughed until their sides hurt. "I wonder if it's back to normal now" Jack said at last "try wishing for something, Danny, something simple."

"I wish I had a cup cake in each hand" said Daniel.

They waited. Nothing happened. They both tried wishing for all sorts of increasingly outlandish things. Daniel wished his cock was three foot long. Nothing happened. Eventually they rang Teal'c and Sam and found they were both at their respective homes. It was almost 8pm by then so Jack and Daniel went out to dinner. They stuffed themselves with steak and all the trimmings and returned home.

When Jack came out of the shower sometime later he was treated to the sight of Daniel sitting cross-legged on their bed, naked. Unfortunately he was reading a large book. His clothes were strewn about the room in careless abandon and he had obviously used a tissue because one was scrunched up on the pillow. Jack had been cleaning up the kitchen when Daniel went for a shower. He wished he hadn't bothered. He began to pick up Daniel's discarded clothing.

Daniel put his book down on the floor and watched Jack's activity. "Just leave it" he complained.

"I can't sleep in all this muddle" Jack moaned.

"I don't intend to sleep" Daniel replied. He jumped off the bed and grabbed Jack just as he was stooping to retrieve a sock from the floor. Jack turned and pushed Daniel away and picked up the sock. Daniel was mad. He stamped out of the room, grabbing his shirt from a chair as he left. Jack dropped the sock and hurried after him.

"YOU'RE REALLY PISSING ME OFF HERE, JACK! " Daniel shouted, facing Jack outside the bedroom.

"I'M JUST TIDYING!" yelled Jack.

"WELL DON'T!"

They stood glaring at each other. Both of them were beathing hard with rage. Both of them were hard elsewhere too. Jack grabbed Daniel, pushed him against the wall and began to kiss him ferociously, nipping his lips and then sucking his left ear and biting his neck. Daniel responded in kind and rubbed his hands over Jack's chest and squeezed his nipples.

After a moment they let go of each other. "I think we should take this somewhere more comfortable" panted Jack. Daniel literally dragged Jack into the bedroom then and together they struggled to the bed, never letting go of each other at any point. They fell together onto the bed and proceeded to roll about on it, kissing and rubbing and fighting for position. Jack managed to wrestle himself on top of Daniel and kissed a line down the younger man's neck, and down to his nipples. He sucked and licked them until they stood up, hard and glistening with saliva, and then, ignoring Daniel's groans, he moved farther down and put his tongue in Daniel's navel. This elicited more groans and there were even more when Jack moved down even more, and ignoring Daniel's cock completely, began to kiss, suck and nip his inner thighs.

"JACK!" Daniel protested, thrusting his hips up as much as he could and trying to draw Jack's attention to his aching cock.

Jack paused in his activities for a moment and looked at Daniel's cock. It was so stiff it was almost flat against his stomach and as Jack gazed at it, it throbbed, and a string of sticky pre-cum oozed out of it. Jack reached past Daniel's head, fished under one of their pillows, and pulled out a tube of chocolate flavored lube. He squeezed a liberal amount onto his hands and proceeded to rub it all over Daniel's cock. Then he began to suck and lick it off. Daniel yelled and jerked and altogether made so much noise that Jack had to stop what he was doing and kiss him thoroughly just to shut him up. He then grabbed the spare pillow and thrust it under Daniel with some difficulty, since Daniel was not cooperating at all, but was just groaning.

As soon as Jack had the pillow in position Daniel lifted his legs up and hooked them, with amazing dexterity, around Jack's neck. Jack found Daniel's hole and went to work on it busily with the lube. He managed to stick his tongue well in and rimmed Daniel with great adroitness. Daniel moaned some more and when Jack leaned up for a moment for a rest he started to nibble Jack's nipples and bite his chest. Jack yelled out and proceeded to cover his cock with the lube. Jack finally entered Daniel slowly, fealing the delicious sensation of Daniel's body gipping him and seeming to suck him in. They moved together in perfect harmony, any arguments forgotten. Jack felt the warm tightness of Daniel gripping him as he moved back and forth, the familiar sounds of their breathing and Daniel mumbling in different languages and the sound of their fucking urging him to move faster and plunge deeper. Daniel's chest reddened and the flush spread up over his face. Jack watched Daniel's cock as it throbbed hard, jerked and a ribbon of cum shot out of it so hard that it hit the head of the bed. The second spurt went over his chest and the third almost as far. What happened next was lost to Jack for a moment as he felt his body convulse as he came hard.

After a few moments Jack withdrew from Daniel slowly and Daniel relaxed and lowered his legs. They rolled into each others arms, Jack getting Daniel's cum on him as a result.

"It always amazes me when you do that" said Jack, as he pressed his face against Daniel's neck, smelling that familiar after sex Daniel smell.

"What?" asked Daniel, sleepily, his eyes already closed.

"Come like that" said Jack " without anyone touching your cock!"

"Oh" said Daniel, and his breathing evened out as he quite obviously fell straight asleep.

"DANIEL!" Jack shouted.

"What?" Daniel complained, "sleeping here!"

"We need to wash up" Jack said "come on, Babe, otherwise we'll stick together in the night!"

Daniel sighed and climbed laboriously out of the bed, giving the impression that he had aged about 50 years in the space of a few minutes. Jack followed him into the bathroom.

"I wouldn't do this for anyone but you, Jack" said Daniel, rubbing a wet washcloth over himself very rapidly.

"I should hope not" Jack replied, grinning.

"You are a neat freak" said Daniel, a few moments later, as he and Jack returned to their bed.

"You're a slob" Jack answered "except where books and artifacts are concerned. Then you turn into a bit of a neat freak yourself".

"I like to relax at home" Daniel said, firmly, rolling over in bed and wrapping himself quite literally around Jack so the older man couldn't move a muscle.

Jack laughed suddenly. "You're MY slob though" he said " and I love you just the way you are whatever I say when I'm cleaning up your disorder".

"Hmmm" murmured Daniel sleepily " and you're MY neat freak and I love you too, irritating though you are sometimes. Still, you're FANTASTIC in bed."

"You just love me for my body, obviously" said Jack.

"Yeh" muttered Daniel "that's it!"

Epilogue. Six weeks later.

"So" said Jack, looking at the monitor screen as Janet scanned Daniel's stomach "what do you think it is? He's been throwing up every morning for a while now, but by mid afternoon he's fine. He didn't want to tell you. He thinks he's got a growth. He thinks he's got some type of cancer, he's been so odd lately".

"Thanks, Jack" said Daniel " I can talk for myself you know".

"You don't complain even if you're nearly dead" Jack sighed. At that moment Janet gave a loud gasp. Jack and Daniel both looked at the monitor. What they saw made them gasp too. Daniel almost passed out. Jack felt dizzy.

"Well" said Janet, surprisingly calmly considering what she'd just seen "it seems that you're in a certain condition, Daniel. I don't know how it happened.....but....you're pregnant".

"Oh, SHIT!" Jack groaned.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" Daniel asked after a moments thought " or is it too early to tell?"

Janet and Jack looked at each other.

"Daniel always did do things differently from everyone else" said Janet.

"SHIT!" Jack moaned "OH SHIT!!!!!!" As he groaned, he heard a scuttling noise from somewhere above him. He looked up and saw, to his amazement, a large cockroach on the ceiling. It seemed to be waving to him. Feeling idiotic, he raised a hand and waved back. It then hurried away and disappeared. He didn't see exactly where it went because, as it turned and started to run off, he noticed that it had a large green spot painted in its back!!

THE END............