On Hold

by J. M. Griffin

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asj/jmgriffin/onhold.php
Summary: Not Supplied

I watched him with Sha'ure, back at the beginning of it all. He was caught off guard by what was happening to him. It was so obviously out of his realm. Back then, I wasn't sure why. I didn't know the ins and outs of him. I had no clue if she was his first woman or his first lover or his ninety-second. I only knew I wished he were mine.

A year later I found myself standing in front of the Stargate with a box of tissues in my hand. Inside I was trembling. In through the gate I went, and there he was again. His hair a bit shaggier, his eyes a bit less shadowed. He had gotten used to being loved. He had found he liked it, I could tell. I wanted to tell him I loved him best. I was afraid it was a lie. Surely this was the be-all end-all for him. A beautiful wife, a beautiful people who had taken him in and claimed him as their own. I watched when they touched his hair and stroked his face as they said goodbye. I thought then he could never be mine. He was hers. He was theirs. He couldn't be mine.

On and off there were little inklings of how he felt. He would say my name sometimes...just "Jack," and I would think I could hear the "I love you" in his voice.

But he loved her too. Valiantly he sought her, never giving up hope. Until she died beside him and he buried her and came home. Empty and bereft.

We kept on going. Never admitting anything out loud. Giving tiny hints that could easily be ignored or avoided. A golden thread bound us, bright and precious. It got us through a lot of hell. It got us to hell and back. It was stretched very, very thin. Finally, it pulled us close.

One night I was leaving the compound for a couple of days off. I waved at him as I went by his office.

"Wait for me," he said.

I stopped, totally stunned. Could he be saying, with those three small words, everything I had ever wanted to hear from him?

I waited while he closed down his computer and grabbed his jacket from off the back of his chair.

He gave me a small secret smile as he walked up to me.

I couldn't hold back my answering grin.

We climbed into my jeep and made it to my house in record time.

There, he made me glad I waited.

The End