Meridan Fix-it

by Kez

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/ask/kez/fixit.php
Summary: Meridian was so wrong, so I'm fixing it

Jack was sitting watching Daniel sleep, he was almost completely covered in bandages, red blotches covering what little skin was still visible, he'd been asleep for ages now, Janet didn't think he'd wake up again before...before he died. Daniel was dying, nothing baring a miracle and even that couldn't save him now, not even the Go'auld healing device wasn't any good, Sam had tried, she'd failed, there was no hope left.

Jack

Everything is so entirely screwed up, my head included. I'm sitting here watching him. I'm so numb inside its like a block of ice has settled around my heart. I can't feel anything, which I suppose is preferable to the pain I know I'd feel otherwise, but even so, I really wish I could feel something about now. Feeling is so much easier than thinking.

Thinking is all I seem to be doing right now, watching him and thinking. I wish I could see his eyes, talk to him, its funny I realize sitting here that every time we talked I told him to shut up, not always directly but I gave the impression at least that I didn't want to listen, that I didn't care what his opinions and thoughts and feelings were.

Funnier still is that I did care, cared more than I should have, that's why I had to keep myself distanced, couldn't let him know, now I wish I had. Even if he never felt the same, at least I would have known he knew he was loved. Daniel always had a thing about that, was always afraid to let people to close because he didn't believe they could ever love him, he was so wrong, everyone loved him, how could they not, he was Daniel.

In the hours I've been sitting here at least 30 different people have been in to see how he is, there isn't one person in this whole mountain who doesn't like Daniel, and most of them more than like him, in fact I know that at least half the people on this base, male and female love Daniel in one way or another, Hammond loves him like a son I know, Carter like a brother, Teal'c as well I think, Janet I'm not so sure about, part of me thinks brother part of me thinks more, but anyway she does love him.

I love him too, tried as hard as hell not to but I do, shouldn't I know, except I should, and I do and it doesn't feel wrong, but everything I've ever been told tells me its not right, strangely I don't give a flying fuck, I love him, and now I just wish I could tell him, just wish I could let him know, and now I can't.

Daniel

Oma Desala, I could be like her, evolved, ascended, whatever why you want put it, no long human, no body, no pain, I can have that, and all I have to do is say I want it, seems too easy, seems like a good idea as well. I mean, I really don't have a lot choices here, die or ascend, guess I'm ascending then.

Oma tells me all I have to do is believe I am worthy of it, I'm not so sure I am, but she also says its not my deeds but my intentions that count, well my intentions are mostly always good I think, except maybe when I shot that tank of baby Go'auld to hell, or when I was addicted to the Sarcophagus, or...ok well anyway, I mostly meant to do good things, even if I didn't always succeed.

Like with Jack, I only wanted to be his friend, I failed at that, I mean I didn't mean to fall in love with him, and I certainly never meant for him to figure it out, guess he did though if the last two years are anything to go by. I fell in love with him, and I lost his friendship because of it. This is not what I should be thinking about, ascend or not? worthy or not? I wish I could ask Jack, he'd know what to do, except he'd probably tell me not to ascend, and I want to, I think I do anyway, I need more time to think about this properly.

I don't have the time thought, I can feel it now, times running out, I'm dying, and its happening fast, wait, something's wrong, their healing me, somehow, Jacob? I don't want them to, I can't go back to that, I can't, I won't. "Then stop them" Oma tells me, "How?" I don't know. She does, she's showing me how, I can see them all, standing watching as Jacob uses the healing device, I have to stop them, how?, I lay my hand on Jack's shoulder, he can tell them to stop for me.

"Daniel, something you want?" he asks me, I can see the confusion in his brown eyes, he's been crying I notice, about me I suppose, funny I didn't think he would. "Tell Jacob to stop" I tell him, and I can see even greater confusion and a little bit of anger in his eyes now, "What your just giving up?" he asks me, and I smile a little, "Not giving up Jack, you remember Oma" I say as we look towards where Oma has opened a somewhat imaginary Stargate in my head, "Sure" he tell me, nodding.

"I think I can do more this way Jack. It's what I want." I say, and that's half true, although the Go'auld have very little to do with my choice, I do want this, but not for that reason, "Tell Jacob to stop." I say again, and I know he will. I can see them all there, watching, and I can see Jacks eyes flicker around them all before he speaks.

Jack

"Jacob, Stop" I say the words there barely loud enough to hear but the silence in the room makes it possible, God my chest hurts, I wonder does Daniel know what this is doing to me, I wonder if it matters, its what he wants, its what he deserves, he's earned it.

Jacobs asking me if I'm serious, I almost want to laugh, 'No i'm telling you to let the man I love die for a joke' I think, but I don't say it, "Its what he wants" I say instead, only after which does it occur to me that Daniel is inside my head, and probably just heard that thought, 'oh shit'.

"Jack?" I'm back in this little fantasy in my head again, or maybe its his head, I don't really know, I don't suppose it matters, "Daniel." I croak out somewhat squeakily. "Did you just think what I think you thought?" he asks, and at that point I do laugh, its comical the way he says it, even if what he's talking about really isn't so funny.

"Jack?" he asks again, and I sober looking at him, well he's leaving anyway, I have nothing to lose, why the hell not tell him. "Yes Daniel, I did think that, I love you." I say it loud and clear and for the first time since I realized I was in love with him I feel free, unfortunately along with feeling free I feel sick to my stomach, cause now i've not only lost my best friend to this whole ascending thing, i've lost him full stop.

Daniel is laughing, the little twerp is laughing, I bare my soul and he laughs at me, I feel the anger seeping in but before it has chance to settle I feel something else entirely.

Daniel

I laugh, I know I shouldn't and the mix of angry and hurt in Jacks eyes tell me that just in time to save this situation, although right now my brain is kinda hazy and only one method is coming to mind, so I do it, I kiss Jack O'Neill right smack on the lips. Wow doesn't begin to cover it, his lips are dry, but oh so soft, and shaped so perfectly to my own, I feel light headed just from the feel of it, luckily I remember that I'm not quite corporeal right now, so I can't pass out. I feel him freeze shocked, but I don't pull back, I push forward some more, pressing more heavily against his lips, opening my own mouth just enough to let my tongue out to run over his bottom lip. 'Yes' my mind calls out the triumph his lips are moving opening under me, allowing me access to the deepest recesses of his mouth, and by God he tastes wonderful, so much like Jack, strong, and spicy, and sweet, and subtle all at once, I could drown in the taste of him.

Jack

Oh God, I am so glad I don't need to remember to breath, cause if I did I couldn't do it right now if my life depended on it, Daniel is kissing me, I am kissing Daniel back, holy shit it feels good. I need to pull back, but I don't want to, I so don't want to, but I need to know why, if this means what I hope it means.

"Daniel" I pull back looking at is eyes, his pupils are dilated, a thin rim of blue around them, a thin rim of DARK blue around them, well that answers half my question, he's definitelyy attracted to me, but does he love me? "Yes." he says almost as if reading my mind, oh right he is reading my mind, I remember, and he grins. "I love you Jack." he tells me, and I have to smile back.

Daniel

"I love you Jack" I say, and he smiles, I love his smile, I love him full stop. Pain, I feel pain, oh shit Jacob stopped, I'm dying, no not now, not now dam it. "Daniel" he grabs me as I fall to my knees, "Jack, God Jack it hurts". I tell him, I thought I wasn't suppose to be able to feel pain in my head, guess I was wrong.

"Daniel hold on, I'll tell Jacob to start again, don't you dare die on me Daniel." he's pleading but I can barely hear him, it hurts so much. I can see Oma still floating by the gate and I know what I have to do, "Jack, I have to go." I tell him, tears filling my eyes, as I pull myself upright. "Daniel no, you can't, not now." he begs me and God I don't want to but I have to. "I have to Jack, I promise, I'll come back, I don't know how but I will, I promise." I tell him, hes holding onto me so tight I think he's gonna crush me, but he lets me go.

"I promise Jack." I whisper, and lean in to kiss him again, letting my lips brush against his, a promise I intend to keep, somehow, I have to keep it.

Jack

He's leaving, its the only way now I know, its this or he dies, and I suppose at last knowing he's alive somewhere out there is better than knowing hes dead, so I let him go, he kisses me once more and goes up the ramp, I can't watch this though, I pull myself back to the infirmary, and turn for the door.

I make it half way when the squealing monitors tell me Daniels heartbeat has stopped, his body is dead, and although I'm almost certain he's not really dead, I fell my heart break because he might as well be. *Beep, Beep* what? I spin around again the monitors are beeping, he's not dead, but... what?

"Doctor" I hear Hammonds voice but i'm too busy watching the figure on the bed to really notice what hes saying, or what Janet is saying. "Ja'k" that I hear, its a whisper, but i'm so focused on him that I don't miss it,

"Daniel." I'm by the bed in a heartbeat, "Daniel." I say again, I feel the tears in my eyes, he%27s alive, oh god I just want to reach down and kiss him, I can't I know, not here, but oh how I want to, I settle for running my hand along his forehead lightly, if anyone thinks anything of it, they won't say it.

"She, Oma said that..." he starts coughing and I reach instinctively for the cup of ice chips by the bed, his mouth is probably drier than Abydos. "Thanks" he whispers, and I smile "no problem, least I could do for someone who just came back from the dead" I half joke, but my eyes tell him the rest of it, the things my words can't while the rest of them are here.

"Colonel" I hear Janet say from my side, "I need to check him over" she tells me, so I move aside, somehow though I think she'll find Daniel in perfect health, probably even better than before all this.

Daniel - a few hours later

I'm alive, I don't know how, but somehow Oma cured me completely, I walked through the fake Gate and came out here awake and alive and with Jack. I heard her say something before she left, it was strange.

"The paths are not always obvious, and are often treacherous, follow yours well, and someday they will lead you back to the great path, but when that day comes you shall not travel it alone"

I don't understand exactly what she meant, I don't think I care much right now, I'm alive, I have Jack, I am happy, for the first time in my life, I am truly happy.

"Dr Jackson do you know what happened" General Hammonds asks me, "I...not really sir, just that Oma some how healed me." I tell him and its true, although why she decided to heal me instead of help me ascend I don't think he needs to know. "Well Sir I have run ever conceivable test, he's in perfect health, its like it never happened." Janet says coming in with a folder full of papers, with test results plastered over everyone of them.

Like I didn't know that was coming, I think to my self and I suddenly realize how much like Jack that sounded in my head, been spending too much time with him, or not enough, guess from now on I'll have to spend more time with him, just less of it talking. "I see no reason he can't go home." Janet says and I silently clap my hands and thank whatever God is listening for answering my prayers, the last place I want to be tonight is here.

"So I can go?" I ask, knowing that being to presumptuous often leads to disappointment with Janet, "well I don't see why not, but I still don't fell comfortable with you being alone" she tells me, dam, guess its crash and burn time. "I'll take him home Doc, make sure he's a good boy and rests" Jack tells her, and Janet nods seemingly satisfied, "Ok Colonel, but make sure he rests and no arguing." she orders him, unfairly granted, or perhaps not with the way we were arguing of late, Jack nods, and I am glad, I can finally get out of here.

Jack - 1 Hour Later - Jacks House

"Hope you don't mind coming here instead of your place but I figure there's more room here, I won't have to sleep on your couch" I tell him as we enter my house. "No, I like it better here anyway, although the couch wouldn't have been an issue." he tells me pulling me back and wrapping his arms around me. "Oh." He puffs out, "I wasn't sure, I didn't want to assume." He tell me, and its true he didn't happen to mention the whole never being with a guy and I'm pretty much scared shitless.

"I love you Jack." he breaths against my ear, and I shiver, "Nothing has to happen, I just want to hold you." he tells me and I smile, yeah I'm scared, but i'll be damned if i'm gonna pass up on the chance to make love with Daniel, fear can be overcome, and I plan to overcum it. I laugh at my own internal joke, and earn myself a slightly confused chuckle from behind.

"Doc said you had to get bed rest." I tell him pulling away and turning to face him, "Hmm, don't need rest, a bed would be handy though." he smirks at me, and I suddenly realize that Daniel has been spending way to much time around me the past five years, or not enough time around me depending on your point of view, I'm inclined to think it wasn't enough time, but that the time we did spend together we spent too much of it talking.

"Guess we should go to bed then." I tell him and holding out my hand lead him towards the desired room, and piece of furniture, I am so glad I have a king sized bad, and there I was gonna get rid of it not so long ago. I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing here, but Daniel seems to know so I follow his lead and let him pull my tee off before following with his own, bringing us together in a kiss, slow and sensual, and full of passion.

Daniel

Dam he really does taste good, I could stay like this forever I think, or not, if the bulge developing in Jacks jeans are anything to go by, not to mention the one I know is filling out the front of my own trousers quite nicely. I pull back from the kiss and push Jack towards the bed, but before I push him down I grab at the opener on his jeans, opening it with relative ease, pulling both his jeans and boxer-briefs in one go, pushing him onto the bed before he has time to think of protesting and engulfing him in my mouth as I continue to work his clothes off, stopping only briefly to pull his shoes and socks of without opening them first.

The sound he is making are driving me crazy and as much as I want to make this last, I know it can't, we both need this too much, we both need to feel it, but I still try and keep it as slow as I can manage. It doesn't take long, I can feel his balls tighten under my chin moments before my mouth is filled with his warm seed, salty, and sweet. I greedily swallow ever drop holding a small amount in my mouth afterwards to savor the taste of him.

Jack

Holy shit doesn't begin to cover it, I have never, and I mean never cum so hard in all my life, the feel of Daniels mouth around me pretty much sent me into orbit, out of the solar system even. I have never felt so high before, I was flying higher than a kite. Oh hey he's moving, oh Hey, he's beautiful, standing before me, naked and fucking beautiful, not an ouch of fat on him, its all muscle, all built up over five years with SG-1, and the most gorgeous bloody thing I have ever seen.

I tell him how much i'm enjoying the view and he smiles, "thank you" he whispers shyly as he lays down at my side, I know its my turn now and I have no clue where to begin so I go with what I know, I kiss him, I kiss his lips and his eyes, and cheeks, and neck and before I can even think about it I have his nipple between my teeth, suckling gently enjoying the moans I can hear from above.

I want to taste him but I know if i do that I won't get to make love with him, now admittedly I'd much rather top than bottom, but i'm spent and I don't want to wait any longer, so I can do the bottom thing. "Daniel, want you in me" I tell him putting myself level with him, so I can look straight into his eyes, I can see the uncertainty there, and I know he's not sure I want this, so I pull up and get of the bed heading for the bath room returning with a small bottle of hand cream, hey I wasn't expecting this so i'm not 100% prepared.

"I want you in me Daniel" I tell him again my voice certain, and confident, regardless of my jumpy stomach, I hand him the cream and lay down again on my back, letting my legs fall open as relaxed as I can get them, and waiting for Daniel to move.

Daniel

He's laying there waiting for me, trying to present total calm but I know better, he's scared, but I also know he's made up his mind, he won't let it go until he gets what he wants, and as much as I wish I could say i'm only doing this cause he wants it I won't deny I want it too.

I flick open the bottle, coating my fingers with a slightly more generous amount than I need, but I want to make this as easy as possible for him so it won't do any harm. I take it slow, sliding one finger in pausing as Jack tenses giving him time to relax again. It takes what seems like forever, but eventually i'm happy that he's ready for me, and from the way Jacks pushing back against my fingers, he wants this as badly as I do.

I bring myself to his opening, pausing to catch my breath, I'm rock hard and desperately needing to cum, but I won't rush this, I can't rush this. I feel him tense again as I slide inside him those first few inches, and I stop, letting my hands run over his flanks as I look into his eyes, telling him with a look how much I love him, because I don't trust my mouth to work right.

I'm inside of Jack, finally, fully, inside of him, and its so tight, and so hot, and the most wonderful I've ever felt, second to nothing. "Jack." I manage to groan out through clenched teeth, "Love you." I tell him, as I move slowly out of him, pushing back in just as slowly.

Jack

I've never felt so full, so complete as I do right now, the feeling of Daniel inside me is amazing, slightly sore, but pleasantly so, and absolutely wonderful. "Jack, Love you." I hear him say, as he begins to move within me, and I groan in response, trying and partially succeed in telling him I love him too.

Its not gonna last I know, he's close and unbelievably so am I, even after that first orgasm I'm hard again, and close to bursting. The pace starts slow, but before I can think its building faster, and harder, and so impossibly more wonderful. I'm pushing back against Daniel as he thrusts, pushing us both towards the edge, he keeps hitting against my prostate, and although I knew enough about the dynamics to know that was a pleasure point for a guy, I never imagined it could feel this good, and Daniel hasn't even touched my cock.

Spoke to soon I guess, his hand comes up and wraps around me pulling in time with his thrusts, driving me closer tot he edge until I feel myself cuming over his hand, and my own stomach, barely registering the cry I know is coming from me, before I hear Daniel cry out as well, and the warm rush of his cum in my ass.

Daniel

I cry out his name as I feel him tighten around me, his cock pulsing in my hand as his orgasm hits, setting mine of as well, before I have chance to fall on top of him I use what little brain power I have left to pull myself out of him and fall to his side, pulling him against me as we fight to catch our breaths.

"That was...sweet" Jack pants out, and I have to agree, it was sweet, and so much more besides, I kiss his head, and his lips when he shifts to grant me access. "Hmmm, Sweet yeah, definitely that" I whisper against his mouth, right when he chooses to yawn. "Charming, glad to know I put you to sleep." I tease him, and feel immediately guilty when his face comes over with a slightly darkened look.

"Sorry, I guess, I'm just tired I was, I haven't had any sleep in a couple of days". he says, and I curse myself for not thinking of that, "Its ok I was just teasing, I didn't mean anything by it, go to sleep Jack." I tell him pulling him in closer to me, so his head rests against the crook of my neck. "Go to sleep, I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere." I assure him showering kisses on his silver head even as I feel his breathing even out signally sleep.

I allow my own eyes to drift shut as soon as I know he's asleep, Oma said that the paths we follow are trecharous, and I don't doubt it,. but somehow, now I think they'll be that little bit easier to travel, because I won't be traveling alone anymore, and I think I know what Oma meant now before she healed me, and I think perhaps I like the idea of eternity with Jack, in fact, I think as I drift of to sleep, I know I like the idea.

...finished