The Garden Series 1

Breaking The Code

by Lady Grey

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asl/ladygrey/garden01.php
Summary: In the wake of an injury that leaves Daniel permanently grounded from gate travel, Jack discovers his feelings for his old friend go far deeper than he believed

15 May

Jack O'Neill opened unwilling eyes, forcing himself to full wakefulness. The scent of antiseptic was strong, and he knew instantly where he was. Details of SG-1's last mission came rushing to the fore, along with raw pain that made him gasp.

Carefully, he tried to roll onto his back so he could look down and take stock of himself, to see if any parts of him were missing. Blinding pain in his side stopped that movement, and he sucked in a breath between clenched teeth.

"Just lie still, Colonel O'Neill," came a feminine voice from somewhere behind him. He knew that voice from his many visits to the base infirmary. "You took an arrow in the side, but we've got you all fixed up. Need some pain medication?" Nurse Chambers floated into view as she came around to the front of the bed, smiling down at him.

"Where's Daniel?" he asked, his voice a deep croak. Looking at the next bed across from his, he could see the mammoth shape beneath the covers that had to be Teal'c. "How's my team?"

Chambers glanced behind him. "Major Carter and Teal'c are fine. The major's just behind you in the next bed, sleeping. Teal'c is resting comfortably, too." She smiled reassuringly at him.

"Injuries?"

The nurse's expression became a professional mask as she fiddled with his IV. "Major Carter sustained an arrow to the thigh. Teal'c took one in the buttock. You were hit in the side, which is why you're lying in this position, and I'd advise you not to try to turn over just yet. Want that pain medication now?"

"Daniel?"

The older woman gave him a patient, compassionate smile. When she spoke again, her voice was soft, deeper with emotion. All of the nursing staff had a special place in their hearts for the SGC's chief archaeologist. He was one of their most favorite – and most frequent – patients. "He's still in surgery, sir. I'm afraid I can't tell you more than that." She leaned over him and patted his forearm, then pressed the back of her hand against his forehead to check for fever.

Jack's eyes closed. He remembered how badly the mission had deteriorated, and how quickly. The natives who had attacked them for defiling their temple had gone after the archaeologist first. Their weapons had been bows and arrows, with particularly deadly tips made entirely of trinium. Jack remembered how the first one had taken Daniel down at the knee; the second had gone into his upper chest. They'd gotten him to the gate alive, but just barely, and all of them had been wounded. That was one more planet to lock out of the dialing computer. If Daniel hadn't been able to forge an alliance with them, no one could.

Swallowing a lump forming in his throat, Jack closed his eyes. "Yeah. I'll take that morphine now, Chambers. Thanks."

He was very familiar with the use of a morphine pump, having used one many times in the past, but the nurse instructed him in its use anyway, as she was required to do. She pushed the plunger on the delivery device to give him the first dose and then clipped the control to his bed sheet near his hand so he could take charge of his own pain management. The medication made him instantly drowsy, and he started to drift off to sleep.

Before he slipped under the influence of the drug, however, he called to the nurse. "Wake me when Daniel comes out of surgery," he ordered softly. "I have to know, as soon as there's any news."

Chambers nodded and gave him a sad smile. "Yes, sir, colonel. I promise." She hesitated. "Let me know if that's not taking care of your pain, and I'll get Dr. Warner."

"Warner? Where's Fraiser?"

The nurse shifted a little from foot to foot, obviously ill at ease. "Um... She went to the Academy Hospital with Doctor Jackson. She scrubbed in on the surgery."

Closing his eyes, Jack struggled not to panic. "Thanks," he ground out, his voice husky with emotion.

He heard her walk away and opened his eyes again, a cold fist of fear closing around his heart. They hadn't taken care of Daniel's injuries on the base. They'd taken him to the Academy Hospital in the city, so it had to be bad. Really, really bad. Jack felt his stomach lurch even as the morphine's powerful effects pulled him under. He felt himself floating in darkness, away from the pain and anxiety.

It seemed only a moment later that someone was shaking his foot and calling his name. He struggled to rouse himself, to push past the effect of the drug and open his eyes.

"Hey, colonel," Doctor Fraiser greeted him warmly. She looked tired, but she was smiling. "Sorry to wake you up, but I knew you'd want to know right away that Daniel came through the surgery just fine. He'll be in the ICU at the Academy Hospital for a day or two. When he's stabilized, they'll transfer him back here to recover."

That announcement was a huge load off Jack's heart. He tried to smile a little. "Okay, Doc, glad to hear he's gonna be all right. Listen, when he comes back, you ride with 'im, keep him company. Can you do that?" he asked hoarsely.

"Sure, I can do that. I would have anyway. Now you go back to sleep and rest." Janet patted his arm. "And try not to worry, he's gonna be okay."

He nodded at her and closed his eyes. He felt himself relaxing a little, but part of him remained on edge, alert and expectant, waiting for more news.

For twelve hours he slept fitfully, refusing to use the morphine pump, allowing himself only brief naps, eager for Dr. Fraiser's frequent reports on Daniel's condition.

16 May
The Next Day

Fraiser missed early rounds, so Jack spent his time bothering the nursing staff for word.

Finally, near mid-morning, the petite doctor and a large male nurse wheeled a stainless-steel framed hospital bed into the room, easing it into a space right next to Jack's, made for it moments earlier by Nurse Chambers.

Aiming his bleary eyes at the bed, Jack studied the profile of the sleeping man in it. Daniel was very pale, and there were bluish smudges beneath his closed eyes.

"He doesn't look so good, doc," Jack managed to say. "Is he awake?"

"He's pretty heavily sedated at the moment. He's been conscious, but he's just sleeping now. He'll be fine, colonel. Try not to worry."

Janet bent over Daniel's bed, stroking a hand fondly over his brow. She sighed. "It wasn't as bad as we first thought. The arrow he took in the chest missed puncturing the pleural cavity, which is a good thing, but it did break a rib from the impact. We repaired most of the damage and fixed him up as well as we could for now, but he's going to need another operation on his leg later on."

She walked down beside the bed, where Daniel's leg lay wrapped and immobilized in a contraption that looked like metal scaffolding. "We're going to have to replace his knee with an artificial one, but even then, he's not likely to be a hundred percent, sir."

She turned sad eyes to meet Jack's. "I'm afraid he won't be going back into the field for first contact missions, colonel. I'm recommending to General Hammond that he ride a desk from here on out."

Stunned for a moment, Jack's mind worked desperately to take that in and process it. Daniel would no longer be part of SG-1? How was that possible? Jack needed him on the team. He'd already tried to do the job without him, during the year of Daniel's ascension. As he thought about their future, gradually other things began to register, things much more important than the job.

Artificial knee. Not a hundred percent.

"Will he walk again?" asked Jack cautiously, staring at the contraption around Daniel's leg. It looked like some kind of medieval torture device instead of modern medical equipment.

Frasier smiled reassuringly and nodded. "In time, yes, but it's going to take a lot of hard work in physical therapy to get there. He'll probably need to use a cane to help bear the weight, probably for the rest of his life."

She looked at the scaffolding and touched it lightly, drawing Jack's gaze there. "This external fixator is just to keep his leg from moving until we can do the knee replacement. We have to make time in the orthopedic surgeon's schedule at the Academy Hospital, so it'll be a few days. Next week at most."

Jack shut his eyes quickly, willing away the images of Daniel with a cane. There had to be another way around that specter looming in the distance. They'd have to help him with that. Daniel would need his friends – his family – to find the strength to push past the limitations medical science had set for him. Jack was sure that Daniel would show them what a difference fierce determination would make in his healing process.

"He's alive, sir," Fraiser assured him quietly. "He's strong and tough. He'll adapt. I don't think this will slow him down for more than a minute."

"He wants to see what's out there, doc," Jack murmured sadly. "He wants to know everything, meet the people, touch all the carvings and see 'em with his own eyes. If he can't do that..."

"He will. Just not until the off-world dangers have been sorted out. No more first contact. I'm sorry." With a last glance at Daniel, she left the room, running a weary hand through her auburn hair.

Jack again turned his eyes toward the man in the next bed.

Daniel moved slightly, and licked his lips. He winced and whimpered a little. "Chak..." he slurred.

Recognizing that mutilation of his name, Jack answered. "Right here, Daniel. You just rest, buddy. I'm right here with you."

He called for Nurse Chambers, pointing at the next bed. "He's thirsty," Jack told her. "Can you bring him some ice chips?"

"He's not even awake yet, sir," said the nurse. "He may not wake up for several hours."

"He's thirsty," Jack insisted.

She patted his hand. "When he's awake, we'll ask him about that, I promise."

"Well, then, bring me some damn ice chips!" he ordered.

She shot him a knowing grin and went away to do the grumpy colonel's bidding.

Jack continued to watch Daniel, alert to the smallest movements and slightest sounds.

"Go, Jack," Daniel whispered. "'S'okay." His eyes didn't open, but a tear seeped out from beneath closed lids, trickling across his temple.

That was the same thing Daniel had said in the alien temple, just as he'd slipped into unconsciousness. Jack knew his teammate must be reliving those moments in his dreams.

"I'm right here, Daniel," Jack told him quietly. "No one gets left behind. Especially not you." He continued to talk softly, nonsensical stuff, just so Daniel would be able to hear the sound of his voice, to comfort Daniel, since Jack couldn't touch him.

Gradually, Daniel's face relaxed, his breathing deepened, and he slept.

Fraiser had said Daniel would be okay and Jack trusted in that assessment, shutting out the rest of her commentary for the moment. He relaxed into his pillow, his eyes never leaving Daniel's face, willing his friend to be okay. When he was satisfied that Daniel was settled for the moment, he pushed the plunger on his morphine pump and let the drug do something about his own pain.

He closed his eyes and slept.

~~**~~

A couple of hours later, Jack awoke to the soft footfalls of a nurse coming into the room. She adjusted the lighting and went to the first bed, checking vitals and making notes on the chart, then moving to the next patient. Jack barely gave her a glance, his attention turning back to his teammate.

Daniel's eyes opened slowly. Jack felt himself grinning like a fool, relief washing over him and leaving him feeling boneless and daft. "Hey, Sleeping Beauty," he said softly. "It's about time you woke up."

"Jack?" Daniel's head turned towards him slowly. He squinted in the subdued infirmary light.

"You were expecting Princess Charming, maybe?" Warmth blossomed in Jack's chest. He was happy, genuinely happy for the first time in days. He tried to change position, wincing as he used injured muscles. "How're you feeling?"

"Not s'good." Daniel's eyes drifted closed and opened again slowly. "I hurt. A lot."

Jack motioned to the nurse. "Wanna get him some pain meds?"

She smiled at him, giving Daniel a glance. "Now that Doctor Jackson's awake, anesthesiology can get him set up with a morphine pump. I'll let them know he's awake and ready in just a minute." She turned back to her duties.

Jack frowned at her back and turned his attention to Daniel.

He was trying to lift his head to look down at himself, squinting at his leg and the contraption around it. "What the hell is that thing?" he demanded.

"It's to keep your leg still," Jack explained. "They're not finished patching you up yet."

Daniel tried to lift his left arm and gasped. "Ow!"

"You took one in the chest, too. Just be still, Daniel."

Ignoring his C.O., Daniel reached slowly onto the stand beside his bed with his right hand for the familiar sparkle of his glasses, and put them on. Then he lifted his head off the pillow and looked around the ward.

"Hey, Daniel," Sam greeted him, now sitting propped up in her bed on the other side of Jack's.

Teal'c twisted his body to look over his shoulder at Daniel, arching one eyebrow. He didn't try to roll over and face his teammate, and turned away again after a moment.

"We all made it out," Daniel said slowly, looking around at them all. "Good."

"Of course." Jack saw that the nurse was working on her last patient and willed her to leave the room at a dead run to get Daniel's pain medication. She calmly continued her rounds instead. Jack turned his attention back to Daniel, hopeful he could help take his friend's mind off his pain. "Carter's took one in the thigh, and T got it in the ass."

Daniel choked back a laugh, sucking in a breath and grimacing as he clutched at his chest wound. "Shit, don't make me laugh!" He relaxed a little and looked back at Jack. "His ass?"

Jack grinned. "Yeah. Took an arrow in his right cheek. He'll never live that one down, buddy."

Teal'c half turned and gave them a scathing glare. That look alone had made brave men wet themselves, but the rest of SG-1 was immune to it. He turned over again with a low, disapproving rumble echoing in his chest.

Jack took that opportunity to catch the nurse's eye and made shooing motions toward her. She grinned, took the hint and hurried away to get someone working on Daniel's morphine pump.

"She should be back in a minute. You want anything else?" He was aware how wide his smile was, how relief filled him up and overflowed. He felt deeply grateful that they had all come home again. Daniel was alive, after yet another close call. He was awake. That was all that mattered. Jack was absolutely giddy.

Daniel coughed a little. "Thirsty."

Jack nodded. "I told Chambers you were. Made her bring me ice chips. I'll get her to give you the cup as soon as she gets back. If Fraiser hadn't threatened parts of me I'm kinda partial to, I'd get up and give you some myself." He sobered, more aware of Daniel's pain than his own. "How're you feeling?" he asked again. "Okay?"

"Alive."

Nurse Chambers reappeared with one of the anesthesiologists and the morphine pump, which they hooked up with practiced precision. Chambers clipped the plunger to the pillowcase, next to his head, placing it in Daniel's hand with the usual spiel. At Jack's request, she poured some ice chips from the pitcher into a cup and put it on the tray table, rolling it up close where he could reach it.

He pressed the plunger and hung on, as if holding the device in his hand might make the medication work faster. After a few seconds, his head lolled on the pillow. "That's better. I feel like a pincushion, though." He frowned, his thick brows drawing together, eyes sliding closed under the influence of the morphine. "I think I remember being shot in the chest."

"And the knee," Jack confirmed. "Those aliens really didn't like you."

"Jack."

"Yeah?" He didn't move because it would hurt too much.

"How about you? I can see you got hit, too."

"Yeah. But I'm fine." He paused, unsure if this was the time or place to deliver his news. He'd done a lot of thinking over the past few days and had made some decisions. Daniel ought to know, but not right then, when he was already having such a huge adjustment to make. "Just a flesh wound. They got me in the bacon. You know, in the back of my side... or the side of my back. Whatever. Nothing serious. Just hurts like hell."

Daniel sighed. He looked down at his leg, suspended inside the metal scaffolding. "Janet told me about my knee. I wanted her to tell you. Thought you should know right away."

"I'm real sorry, Daniel." He saw the defeated look on Daniel's face, watched him close his eyes and turn away. "Don't let this beat you, okay? We'll get through it together. I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you."

Daniel's eyes didn't open. "I'm off the team, Jack. For good, this time. Sorry."

"Not my team," Jack returned fiercely.

"Oh, Jack, get real," said Daniel wearily, turning to look at Jack, eyes glassy with pain and the influence of the morphine. "You know what Janet says goes." Daniel's dry mouth made clicking noises when he spoke.

He swallowed convulsively, trying to work up some spit to ease the dryness. "Damn it, my mouth is dry," he croaked. He reached for the cup of ice and poured a little of the melt water into his mouth. He waved his free hand at Jack impatiently. "I can't argue with you about this right now." He set the cup back on the tray and dropped his right hand wearily onto the bed. Daniel just looked at him, needing and silently asking for his understanding.

Those blue eyes were filled with pain of many kinds, and Jack felt each one of them. He tried to say something, but the emotional constriction in his throat dammed up the words completely. Daniel was right, as always. Jack couldn't face that loss, couldn't think of going through the gate and leaving Daniel behind, stuck at a desk and worrying himself sick until he could see that Jack, Sam and Teal'c were back home, safe and sound.

He knew Daniel would do that, with all of them. He'd seen it up close and personal. Nobody cared about them like Daniel did, and nobody ever had or ever would care about Jack O'Neill with the depth that Daniel did. Doctor Jackson was one of a kind.

Daniel closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep beneath the powerful sway of the morphine, with Jack not far behind him.

~~**~~

Jack awoke in the quiet semi-darkness, his eyes automatically seeking out the clock on the wall of the ward. It was a little after 0300, and he alone was awake. He closed his eyes again and tried to sleep but couldn't, then turned his head to check on Daniel. His friend lay just as he had been, his glasses still on his face, eyes closed and moving beneath his lids, apparently dreaming.

In the silence, Jack watched him for a long while, studying every plane and angle of his face, the long sweep of his eyelashes, the sheen of his mussed hair, rough stubble sprouting on his cheeks and chin, the full lips relaxed and still for a change. He saw the lines of pain in Daniel's expression, still there even in sleep and beneath the effects of the morphine, and looked down at the fixator around Daniel's leg.

Jack felt an aching deep inside, not certain what would soothe it. He wanted so desperately to touch his friend, just to reassure himself that Daniel was all right. Jack imagined caressing his shoulder, his arm, just petting and stroking him. Daniel needed that, he knew. He needed the reassurance of touch to comfort him, and rarely got it. The younger man had spent so much of his life alone and unloved.

That was over now. Jack felt a wave of determination rise up inside him. Daniel's isolation and loneliness were going to be a thing of the past. Jack vowed to himself that he would always be there for his friend. "I'll never leave you behind," he whispered, his heart filling up at that thought. Jack closed his eyes and let his imagination run free, picturing his hands on Daniel's face, cupping his cheeks while Daniel smiled up at him. He felt whole, as if all were truly right in the universe. Just because he was touching Daniel.

Jack's eyes opened. That idea startled him, shook him to his bones the more he thought about it. What did it mean?

Every time he went back to that image, he could feel it, feel how powerful it was in his mind and heart. He stared at his friend's face, relaxed in sleep, and recalled the flutter of excitement he'd felt when Daniel had opened his eyes in the infirmary. Any time Daniel had called his name, whether in the field, on the base or on a social outing. Any time Daniel had turned to look for him, that feeling was there. It lit Jack up inside, like a candle in a dark place.

Jack felt as if he'd been sucker punched with the realization that his whole universe turned on the axis of Daniel Jackson.

Without a sound, Jack felt his mind grind to a halt. Everything he knew and believed about himself was now uncertain, because of the strength of his feelings for another man. He was suddenly, breathtakingly, devastatingly altered, so shaken up that he had to wonder who Jack O'Neill was. Daniel was his best friend, had been for years. Why all of a sudden did Jack feel as if everything in his life revolved around Daniel?

Jack started to tremble and he closed his eyes tightly, shutting the image of that face out of his mind. Memories surfaced, scorching him with the force of the emotions behind them...

Hugging Daniel in the gate room when Jack thought he'd been killed on Apophis' ship. Holding Daniel in a storage room moments after he had threatened Jack with his own pistol, lost in a sarcophagus high. Needing so desperately to touch Daniel when he came to Jack's house during that damned NID sting operation, and having to play the part so well Daniel had been convinced that Jack didn't care about him.

That was what had started the rift between them, Jack knew now. Part of him had recognized what that subliminal need had been about and had started pushing Daniel away. Then Daniel had ascended; he was gone, and there hadn't been a chance to make things right between them. Now that he was back, Jack had still been closed off, refusing to acknowledge what was so plainly happening in his soul.

Now, in the dark quiet of that infirmary ward, he realized that he loved Daniel beyond reason, beyond his ability to put into words or make sense of in his own mind.

For the first time, he admitted to himself that he was in love with Daniel Jackson.

"Jack?"

He couldn't open his eyes, certain that if he did, he'd shatter into a billion pieces.

"Hey, are you okay?" asked Daniel quietly.

Jack realized he'd been making noises, little mewling whimpers that could not possibly come from Jack O'Neill without the world being stood on end. Which was exactly what had just happened inside him. Only nobody else knew. Nobody else could know... not even Daniel. Especially not Daniel.

He struggled to get control of his body and voice, aware of how wrecked it must sound. "Peachy, Daniel." Opening his eyes, he hunted for the morphine plunger and gave himself a dose to try to cover his emotional upheaval. "Better now."

"D'you want me to call the nurse?" The worry in Daniel's voice was clear.

Jack risked a look through the rails. God, Daniel was so beautiful. Why hadn't he seen it before? Why did it look like Daniel's heart was in his eyes? A strong tremor ran down Jack's spine. Was it possible that Daniel felt the same way about Jack? Could it even be possible?

"Don't be scared," Jack murmured, putting a hand on the rails, as if reaching out to touch his friend. "I'm fine. Just..." He swallowed down his heart. "Just making some adjustments of my own. Everything's gonna be okay. I promise."

Uncertainty shone in those blue eyes for a moment, then acceptance when Jack continued to look at him steadily. Finally, relief settled in with trust, and Daniel closed his eyes again. In moments, he was asleep.

Jack took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The morphine pulled at him, but his mind was going a million miles an hour.

What a cosmic joke this was, after an entire life lived looking at pretty women and lusting after them. Pushing fifty, and he'd found out that the only person who could truly rock his world was another man. Daniel had done that since day one, turned him upside down and shaken everything out of his soul. With one arch of those inquisitive eyebrows, the man had annoyed him quicker than anyone else on the planet, irritated him beyond the limits of sanity, and yet defended him staunchly at every turn and never given up on him. Daniel was fiercely devoted to his team, would die for them... had died for Jack on Abydos, taking a staff blast meant for him.

Jack knew that the two of them were about as opposite in nature as it was possible to get, yet beneath the surface they were defined by their passions, their loyalties, their friendship and their love of country and humanity. At their most basic, foundational level, they were cut from the same cloth.

Jack lay on the bed, chuckling to himself at the irony.

By God, he thought, we were made for each other.

But how the hell was he going to break the news to the man he now knew he loved?

17 May
Two Days Later

After Jack signed his discharge papers, he walked slowly out of the infirmary, his thoughts fixed firmly on the man in the bed down the hall.

During the last couple of days, Jack had thought about little else except how this newfound knowledge would affect who he was. He'd made a life-altering decision in the wake of that epiphany. Simply put, everything was different now. He was an honest man and couldn't in good conscience continue to serve in the military he loved so much if he were going to pursue a relationship with another man. Jack had come to the only conclusion with which he felt comfortable -- retirement from active duty.

Daniel was straight. Jack was sure of that, but he was also sure that Daniel was an open-minded sort, and if anybody could take Jack's news and find a way to be okay with it, it would be Daniel. It also was a distinct possibility that Daniel might be so uncomfortable with the announcement that he'd walk away from Jack and never look back, but Jack had to hold onto some hope that there was a possibility of acceptance, however remote.

Jack had decided he should at least try, which meant that his career was now over. He couldn't disregard the training of a lifetime and the vows he'd taken as an officer in the US Air Force. He had decided to put Daniel, and any possibility of a relationship with him, first and foremost in his life. For the first time in as long as he could remember, Jack had decided to do something just for himself, and God willing, for Daniel, too.

It took a while to make it down the corridor to the elevator, then all the way to Hammond's office. Jack was stiff and sore, and the walk to see the general seemed twice as long as usual. Once he arrived, he didn't wait for permission to enter. He apologized as he came through the doorway and headed straight for the guest chair, one arm wrapped around himself. He sat down carefully, jaws clenched, posture stiffly upright as he waited for the pain to pass.

"How are you doing, colonel?" There was concern in every line in the older man's face.

"Catching a breather," Jack admitted. "Thinking about pain meds." He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a prescription bottle, setting it onto the desk in front of him.

Hammond immediately went to the side table in the briefing room and poured a glass of water, bringing it back to him. The general sat down across from him. "Anything I can do for you, son? I assume you were coming to see me about something."

"Yes, sir." Jack popped one of the pills into his mouth and swallowed it down with a sip of water. "Hate these things," he groused, slipping the medicine bottle back into his trouser pocket. "Would you mind closing the doors, sir? I would, but I don't think I can get up right now, and I'd like to have a confidential chat." Every little movement hurt him – standing up, sitting down, breathing, moving his right arm, turning his head. Hell, even thinking hurt, and that made him grumpy and irritable on top of everything else on his mind.

Hammond rose and closed both doors, then returned to his chair behind the desk, waiting for his visitor to continue.

"I've made a hard decision, sir. There's really no way to make it less of a shock, so I'm just gonna spit it out. I've thought about it a lot over the last few days in the infirmary, and I've decided to put in for retirement."

Surprise was evident in Hammond's expression. "Are you sure this is the time for you to be making that decision, colonel?" he inquired, narrowing his eyes. "You've been injured and need some time to recover. Doctor Fraiser has assured me that once you heal up properly, you should be functioning normally, ready to go back in the field."

With a heavy sigh, Jack shook his head. "Not this time, sir. My knees've been begging me to retire for years. My back isn't getting any better, and this last mission was yet another reminder that it's time I stepped down from the field. I'm getting old, and it's time to let somebody younger have my chair at the table."

Hammond leaned back in his chair and fixed his assessing gaze on Jack's face. "Are you sure, Jack? This isn't too many close calls talking, is it? Maybe you just need an extended break from field duty."

Jack knew the man wasn't calling him a coward. SG-1 had proven its mettle for more than seven years, taking on some of the most difficult missions in the history of the Command. "I'm sure, sir. Time for me to be put out to pasture."

"Then I'll assign you to some other base duty—"

"No, sir." Jack shook his head. "I'm done with the Air Force. I wish I could stay on and do something else here, but I can't stay in the military. It's..." He paused, choosing his words carefully. "I can't. I've had an epiphany recently, and my sense of honor tells me it's time to go. I need to get a life, and I'm hoping..."

Jack looked away and thought of Daniel in that bed upstairs. Daniel would need him, at least for a little while. His eyes found Hammond's again. "It's personal, sir. Maybe some day I can explain. Just please take my word for it for now. I can't stay in the service. Wish there was something else I could do for you here, but I can't be military anymore."

He hesitated again, lowering his eyes to the desktop for a moment, then lifting them boldly back to his CO's. He sat up straight, ignoring the lance of pain in his side, and announced, "You can't ask, and I can't tell you why."

Hammond sat silently, considering that unspoken confession. There seemed to be no surprise, no judgment, no trace of disgust. The general's face was kind and warm. "All right. I think I understand. But what will you do?"

Shrugging, Jack looked down at his hands in his lap. "I don't know. Haven't got a clue. I'm set for money, so I don't have to work if I don't want to, but I don't know. I'm too young to just do nothing. I guess I'm not exactly thinking that far ahead yet."

"Well, Jack, this is a bit of a surprise, but I'll admit I knew the day would come eventually when you'd approach me about bowing out. I've often thought of you and how I'd run things if you chose to leave. You have valuable experience that I depend on to run this place, so I'd like to make you an offer: you continue to work for Stargate Command, but as a civilian advisor. Strictly on the base, no going off world, unless special circumstances dictate the need for your expertise. It'll be a desk job, mostly, helping me with administrative tasks. Easy on the knees, no more Air Force regs to follow."

Startled at the idea, Jack looked up into those earnest gray-blue eyes. "And do what?"

"This is a massive undertaking, Jack," the general admitted, waving a hand to indicate the facility all around them. "I should be retiring myself, but I keep on because I know how important all this is. There's far more in the way of administration than I can handle, and add the stress of losing good people... Sometimes it's more than I can bear. A lot of what I do is administrative. Scheduling teams and briefings, sifting through mission reports, setting up budgets and confirming those, choosing new recruits and setting up training for them. Having help with that sort of thing could take quite a load off my shoulders."

Jack grinned. "Aw, you just want to keep me around because you'd miss my jokes."

Hammond deadpanned, "That's probably the last thing I'd miss." He couldn't stifle the smile; it slipped out anyway. "You're quite a character, Jack. Of course I'd miss you, but I was serious about that offer. There's a great deal that a civilian assistant with your kind of experience could easily handle for me. I think you'd be good at it, if you could stand the boredom of not being where the action is all the time."

Glancing down at his knees, Jack shook his head. "I can live without the action, sir." He sat quietly and considered his options for a moment or two. As a civilian, it wouldn't matter if he were in love with another man. A few of the civilian academics on the SGC staff were openly gay, but they were also among the best in the world at what they did. For this one program, the military had set aside its policy against homosexuality among its civilian staff because the need for what they could do was far greater than the fear of what they were. That gave Jack small comfort, but some was better than none. It was an option, anyway; one he didn't have as a soldier. And best of all, if Daniel took the news badly, having a job on the base might be a good way to still see him in passing.

"You'll have my resignation on your desk as soon as I can manage to get it typed up. Might take a day or two. As to the offer, how soon can you get the job description ready? I'd like to get a good look at what's on the table."

Reaching into a file drawer in the desk, the general pulled out a folder and handed it over.

"You have a proposal already made up? That's a surprise." Jack took the folder and flipped the cover open. There was no date on the cover sheet. "How long have you been sitting on this?"

"Since..." Hammond hesitated, meeting Jack's eyes. "...Kelowna. I figured you'd retire immediately after that. You surprised me, son. But then, SG-1 has always been good at that. I should be used to it by now."

"Thanks for being understanding about what I have to do now. I'll have an answer for you as soon as I can."

Jack tensed as he thought about getting up to leave, dreading the pain of having to move. He relaxed slowly back into his chair. "Would you mind if I just sat here for a while? I kinda... don't think I can get up right now without embarrassing myself, and since I'm still a colonel for the next few days, I'd like to keep what dignity I have left and avoid trashing my rep as a hardass."

Hammond smiled in sympathy. "Hurts like a bitch, huh? Should I send for a wheelchair?"

Jack frowned. "That'd probably be a good idea. I'm gonna be staying in my lockdown quarters for a few days, till I can manage a little better on my own."

"I'll drive you there myself," George promised. He picked up the phone and ordered a wheelchair to be brought to his office.

When it was delivered, Hammond helped Jack into it. With a groan of relief, he settled down with the proposal folder in his lap. While the general pushed him along, Jack scanned the job requirements and responsibilities. Occasionally, he asked Hammond to clarify certain points, but Jack could see that he'd be a good fit for what his boss had in mind. All of it was work he'd done before, and there was enough variety to keep him from falling asleep at a desk every day.

Once in Jack's private base quarters, Hammond helped him out of the chair and got him seated on the bed. The general stared at the thin, lumpy mattress with an expression of dismay. "Will you be all right here, Jack?"

Closing the folder, Jack laid it on the nightstand. "Yes, sir. I think I'm just gonna rest a while now."

"I'm going to order one of the infirmary beds sent down here for you," said Hammond warmly. "That standard issue mattress is barely adequate for a hale and hearty man. With your injury, it's gonna to be just short of torture."

"Not when you're on happy pills," Jack reminded him, closing his eyes wearily, "but a good bed would be nice. Thanks."

Hammond nodded. He patted him on the shoulder. "Get some rest, son. And remember, we need you here. Military or not, you've got far too much valuable experience for us to allow to go to waste."

Jack heard the door close and tried to relax, but the mattress just reminded him of the severity of his injury. He lay thinking about the new job proposition, trying not to get too excited about it, but it was a godsend and he knew it.

By the time the other bed arrived, and he'd moved over into it, Jack had made his decision. He would stay at SGC as a civilian advisor. He'd still have a career that mattered. He'd still be helping in the war against the Goa'uld. And if he played his cards right, he might even get to have Daniel.

That was worth everything he'd been through the last seven years, and then some. He was one lucky son of a gun, and knew it.

He closed his eyes on the drab little room with a smile on his face and a prayer of thanks in his heart.

18 May
The Next Morning

Handing the folder over to the general, Jack smiled. "My resignation's on the top," he said brightly. "And if the job offer's still open, I'll take it."

"Great. When do you want to start?"

"Fraiser said I should be able to handle half days at a desk next week," Jack reported, "but I'm gonna ask for an extended period between retirement and starting the new job. Daniel's gonna have another operation on his knee in a few days, and he'll need someone to look after him for at least a couple of weeks after he's discharged. I think that should fall to me."

Pride and understanding showed in Hammond's eyes. "You're a good man, colonel."

"Thanks, sir, but remember, it's just Jack now. I'm officially retired."

George rose and shook his hand. "It's been a pleasure serving with you, Colonel O'Neill. I look forward to working with Jack, starting in a few weeks."

Jack sat down in the guest chair. "Thanks, sir. Um... I'm not sure how much help Daniel's going to need during his recovery, so once I've got a handle on that, I'm planning on moving him to my house. After that second surgery, he'll be hobbling around with a walker, needing lots of physical therapy, walking exercises and stuff. He's gonna need me for a while, so if I'm here, and he calls—"

"We'll manage." George smiled. "You two take care of each other, Jack. We need you both back here as soon as you're able."

"Yes, sir."

Jack rose slowly and made his way toward the door. He was walking better now, but he still had to be horizontal off and on during the day. He got his exercise going up to visit Daniel several times a day, stopping by the commissary for meals. He spent the rest of his time napping or resting in his lockdown quarters. Since he was still on oral pain meds, Doctor Fraiser still hadn't cleared him to drive, but he didn't want to go home yet anyway; not without Daniel.

Of all of them, Carter was getting around best, but still spent most of her days during the team's stand-down in her lab, fiddling with her never-ending supply of doohickeys. Jack visited his other teammates at least once a day, and sometimes he met Carter and Teal'c in the commissary for lunch.

That was less pleasant than their usual downtime because of the delicate nature of Teal'c's injury.

It was all Jack could do to keep a straight face when he watched the big guy stand beside their table to eat. T refused to sit down because it still hurt so much, and his pride wouldn't let him sit half on the chair and let his injured cheek hang free, nor would he cant his hip up on that side to get his weight off it. The difficulty he had while eating made him grumpy, and whenever he appeared in the chow line, the room would clear in minutes flat. The look of fierce displeasure on Teal'c's face made all but his teammates run.

Jack and Carter, however, understood that it wasn't pent-up Jaffa rage looking for an outlet, but wounded pride. They alone could bear witness to their brother's embarrassment and understand it for what it was. And afterward, they would invariably go up to the next floor to visit Daniel before returning to their jobs, prescribed rest, or physical therapy.

The four of them discussed candidates for Daniel's replacement on the team, but no one mentioned to Daniel that someone else would be chosen to command the unit, too. Jack had asked the others not to tell Daniel, because he wanted to break the news in private, in his own time.

On Jack's recommendation, General Hammond had chosen Carter to take Jack's place as CO, and Lieutenant Grogan – shortly to be promoted to Captain Grogan – would make up their fourth. The young man had come a long way in the last few years and more than proven himself fit to be on SG-1. Red-haired Doctor Cameron Balinsky would advance from SG-13 to the flagship team to take Daniel's place in the field. As soon as Carter and Teal'c were fit for duty again, the newest incarnation of the flagship team would return to the field.

Jack knew Daniel would be happy that Carter had gotten her command, and since Daniel himself had hand-picked Doctor Balinsky, he wouldn't worry about the others going on without him. All he'd have to adjust to was Jack not being on the team, but he'd deliver that news when he thought Daniel was ready to hear it. For now, being wounded gave Jack an excuse not to be in the field, and that was all Daniel needed to know.

Jack contented himself with visiting and making a general nuisance of himself in the infirmary, teasing the nurses and hovering over Daniel with his usual attempt at charm and wit, trying not to make him laugh and still keep him entertained during the day.

When the time came for Daniel's knee replacement surgery, he, Carter and Teal'c all posted themselves in the surgical lounge at the Academy Hospital to await news. Hours later, Janet emerged with a big smile and a report that Daniel had come through just fine, and that his new knee should be healed enough within a few days for him to go home.

An enormous sense of relief swept through Jack. He thanked her and requested to see Daniel in recovery, and a moment later Janet left to make the arrangements. Eventually she returned and led him back into the ward where several beds were lined up, all filled with recent surgical patients, nurses standing over them to monitor their vitals and update their charts. Janet stayed for a moment more, advising Jack not to expect too much.

He just stood there for a moment, watching Daniel breathe, his head moving restlessly on the pillow.

Daniel's eyes opened and rolled around, not really focusing on anything before closing again.

"Hey, Daniel," said Jack, reaching through the rails to lay his hand on Daniel's arm. "You awake?"

"Jack," Daniel called automatically, though Jack could see that he wasn't quite lucid just yet. "I'm tired. C'n I sleep over?" His voice was halting, his words slurred, but Jack understood.

"If we were at my house, you could," he answered with a small smile, "but you're in the hospital. You just had surgery, remember?"

"My knee?" Blue eyes opened and struggled to focus on Jack's face. "All fixed now?"

He bent down low over the rails so Daniel could see him more clearly, since his glasses weren't handy. "Yeah, so you gotta work on getting well, okay?"

"'Kay, Jack. Tired."

Jack patted his arm again. "I know. But try to wake up, Daniel. That'll help the nurse know you came out of surgery all right. C'mon. Talk to me."

He continued to gently prod his friend until Daniel was fully conscious. The recovery room nurse finally sent Jack out into the waiting room. She returned a little while later to tell them Daniel's room number, which he would occupy for the next few days until he was released.

The three old SG-1 veterans headed up there together, Carter and Teal'c both limping along, Jack keeping up with their slow pace as they hobbled down the corridors.

Daniel slipped in and out of wakefulness as the morphine did its job, not moving much. He squeezed Sam's hand and gave Teal'c a weak smile, then apologized for dropping off to sleep during their visiting time. After a few minutes Jack pulled up a chair and carefully sat down in it, and everyone else left.

There was no way he was going to budge from that spot, and everyone knew it. He busied himself reading inane magazines someone had left behind, stared at Daniel's TV with the sound turned off, gazed out the window, and finally dozed off in the chair.

Eventually Daniel awakened, and they talked for a little while. Daniel had his eyes closed a lot, but Jack was pleased that he seemed not to be in a lot of pain, and he was fully cognizant of where he was and what had happened to him.

When Daniel's "dinner" arrived, Jack made Daniel laugh as he pretended interest in the Jell-O, chicken broth, saltines and weak tea. Jack made sure Daniel got it all down, listening to his complaints with good humor.

Finally, when visiting hours were over at 2000 hours, the nursing staff had to insist that Jack leave. He did so reluctantly, promising Daniel he'd be back first thing in the morning.

He took a taxi home, still not cleared to drive, and stepped into his house for the first time in over a week. He looked around the place with new eyes, taking in the steps he knew Daniel would have to mount every time he moved through the house. It would be hard, especially with crutches or a walker. A wheelchair would be impossible to use, except in the back part of the house that was all one level.

He decided to check with Sergeant Siler about building some temporary ramps to make it easier for Daniel to get around in the house. He made a call to the base, asking for Siler's extension, and quickly left the man a message on his voice mail about the possible project.

Jack went around opening up windows and doors to let the place air out a little. It had that shut-up-for-too-long smell to it. Even though there was still a little chill in the air, Jack enjoyed letting in the freshness of the outdoors.

Soon enough he was in bed and sleeping, dreaming of bringing Daniel home.

19 May
The Next Morning

Jack awakened long before the alarm and rose, shutting it off as he got up. Following his morning routine, he dressed and padded barefoot into the living room, his socks and running shoes in hand. He dropped them beside the sofa and went into the kitchen to start the coffee. Deciding on cereal for breakfast, he set the box of Cheerios on the counter beside a bowl and spoon, poured a bowl full of oatey goodness, milk, put on his footwear, and strolled out onto the deck for breakfast.

His gaze traveled out over his long-neglected backyard as he spooned in the first mouthful of breakfast and started to chew. All the years he'd lived in his little log house, he'd never done much with the landscaping. He had a few potted plants on the deck and some hard to kill evergreens in the front garden beds, but the rest of the property was just lawn, backed by a few trees. Some time back he'd planted some irises, primroses and tulips at the treeline way at the far end, just to give the place a little spring color, but he'd been hesitant to put too much effort into gardening, since he was gone so often and those plants pretty much took care of themselves.

A landscaping service watered and mowed when he was gone, sometimes for weeks on end, but Jack hadn't wanted to delve into really doing anything with the place until he had the time. Now, it seemed, that day had come. It gave him a good feeling, a sense of purpose radiating warmth all through him.

Jack had learned a love of gardening from his Grandmother O'Neill, but had rarely indulged in it as an adult. He'd always been gone too long on missions all over the world – and lately on other worlds – but at last the time had come for him to return to his roots and dig in the earth. There was something satisfying about that idea, of the smell of fertile soil in his hands, of planting and watching the results grow, and of seeing the blooms unfurl in the sunlight.

Every spring he dreamed about it, planted what he could and hoped the new flowers would survive his intermittent presence. His knees and back couldn't stand much in the way of gardening anyway, so it would have to be done a bit at a time, but he could do that now. A little every day, planting here, weeding there, trimming another day, fertilizing and mowing – the idea made his heart soar, taking him back to his childhood, on hands and knees with The Gran, learning the secrets of the earth and growing things from the O'Neill family matriarch.

Out of everyone in the family, only Jack had gotten that precious time with her, and when she had died, she had left him her most priceless treasure: a weathered old book that no one in the family had been allowed to touch but her.

She had called him her little "Jack-in-Green." That was a Celtic earth spirit also called the Green Man, depicted as a face made entirely of leaves, always smiling, watching over gardens and homes and guarding them against evil. She never knew just how right she had been in giving him that nickname.

He smiled. Building a garden would be a good thing, but it would also take a lot of work, a fair amount of money, and tremendous planning to get it all right. He looked forward to getting started, and wandered slowly across the gently sloping back yard to the trees at the rear of his property.

A blue iris caught his eye, nodding in the breeze. He stopped a few feet from it and stared at it, thinking about all he knew about this particular plant, its lore and many uses, the origins of its various names, and its romantic history. He thought about his grandmother's prized book, and the personalized inscription she had written inside it, a message just for her grandson, scrolled through his mind, slowly filling him with wonder as it had years before, when he'd first memorized it.

When you find the one flower that is like no other, let this be your gift to that blossom, so it may flourish in your garden, the centerpiece in the landscape of your soul.

As the romantic idea uncurled gently inside him, like a cat stretching in a sunbeam as it awakened from a long nap, he marveled at the way things had come full circle and brought him back to the quiet passion of his childhood. Jack had indeed found that one flower who was certainly like no other, and now, he decided, he would plant a garden in his honor, a living love letter to Daniel. Each flower would represent a special phrase, placed with care so that when one knew the meanings, the message could be translated and the lover's heart laid bare. When Daniel understood, hopefully he would come to reside in the garden of Jack's soul, as his grandmother had wished.

He could almost hear The Gran's voice reciting the secret tale...

"Long ago, my Jack-in-Green, way back in the days of Queen Victoria, lovers would send flowers to each other – sometimes a showy rose, sometimes a simple weed. The flowers became secret messages, telling things the lovers dared not say in words. Even the placement of buds and blossoms in a slender vase was important. It was the most romantic language ever invented, because it was never spoken at all. It was something only lovers ever truly understood, a message straight from one heart to another, through the eyes instead of the ears."

She had smiled at him then, and placed the book in his hands for the first time.

He remembered the thrill that had gone through him as the idea of an unspoken code had raced through his little boy's mind. He'd never found it easy to talk about his feelings, and this code had promised a way to help him with that. He'd tried it a few times before, and had always been disappointed because no one had ever understood what he'd been trying to say.

Now it seemed the perfect means for sending his brilliant linguist friend a message that would get his mind going, exciting him with a tantalizing puzzle to solve.

Jack tipped back his head and laughed, spreading his arms to the early morning sun shining warm on his face, sloshing cereal and milk onto the deck. Maybe Daniel already knew about the Victorian code and would understand the message right away. Jack wouldn't put it past him to know a tantalizing little tidbit like that, but if he didn't...

Daniel was going to have a hell of a time figuring this out.

Jack just hoped that when he did, it would bring them closer together, rather than push them farther apart. If Daniel never got the message, then Jack would tuck the book back into its special place, along with his other most precious sentimental things, and let the idea go. It was just a romantic notion, after all, and nobody expected real romance from Jack O'Neill. No one ever had.

He hurried back inside the house and retrieved the little antique book he'd inherited from his beloved grandmother. The old battered suitcase in the guest room closet contained few but incredibly precious pieces of his heart: a pair of Charlie's baby shoes, a photograph of the first girl he'd kissed, another of the first he'd ever loved and slept with, and a lock of Sara's hair. There were other mementos from his early days in the military, like the dented belt buckle that had saved him from taking a bullet to the gut.

Near the bottom of the suitcase lay the little green leather bound book, and under that lay a small, nearly flat heart-shaped stone that had been his personal totem since boyhood, found in a riverbed and kept in secret places, something all his own. He picked it up and rubbed his thumb over the gritty surface, wondering if it might be time to give his stone heart away, too. He set it back down carefully, closed up the suitcase, put it away, and took the book into his den.

Taking a seat at his desk, notebook and pen in hand, the heirloom book opened in front of him, he spent many minutes beginning to decipher exactly what he wanted to say to Daniel.

That done, he went into the back yard and cut one of the tall irises, put it in a well-rinsed beer bottle full of water, and drove with it downtown to the florist's shop he used whenever he needed to send flowers to anyone.

The woman who owned the shop was happy to listen as he patiently explained what he wanted. She seemed enchanted with his plan. Jack handed over the freshly cut iris along with the list for the first few deliveries. Then he swore her and her entire staff to secrecy, paying in cash on the spot.

The rest of the day he spent at the hospital by Daniel's side, entertaining his friend and making sure he was comfortable, all the while brimming with excitement and hope for what was to come.

20 May
The Next Morning

Jack presented himself at the nurse's station at the Academy Hospital to pick up his new roomie. After a lesson in how to fit Daniel's leg into the continuous passive movement machine, or CPM, the physical therapist watched Jack run through setting it up and taking it down.

The device was designed to constantly flex and extend the knee joint, to help prevent the formation of blood clots and keep the knee from fusing and becoming contracted in a fixed position. Daniel would have to be in the thing whenever he was reclining, and for a while he would need to return to the base twice a day for an hour of physical therapy. The SGC had provided two of the machines for Daniel's at-home recovery. They had already been set up in Jack's home, one on the den sofa, and one in the bedroom Daniel would occupy.

One of the big male nurses, a tall, sturdy redhead named Byron, helped Daniel into a wheelchair and loaded all of Daniel's personal items onto a transport cart while Jack watched. After all the discharge papers had been signed and post-care instructions given, a transportation aide came to wheel Daniel down to the exit.

Jack pushed the cart while the aide drove the wheelchair, unable to help with more than that. It was a relief for Jack to see Daniel's knee bent at a normal angle, but he could tell by the grimace on the younger man's face that he was still in a great deal of pain.

"Jack, you don't have to do this," Daniel told him, glancing up at him solemnly as they rolled along the hospital corridor.

"That's what friends do, Daniel," Jack reminded him. "They take care of each other. You ready?"

"I guess. You really shouldn't, though," he repeated. "I'd be fine at the base. You're recuperating yourself. You should be taking it easy."

"I know you, Daniel. If you're at the base, you'll be working," Jack shot back pleasantly. He walked beside the wheelchair, letting the aide push Daniel toward his truck parked at the dismissal bay. "And you're supposed to be resting. Janet said no work for a week."

Daniel frowned. "I'm gonna go nuts with nothing to do." He paused, casting a wary glance up at his friend. "Besides, we drive each other crazy when we're both banged up and in close quarters."

Jack's enthusiasm flagged momentarily, but he made an effort to sound upbeat. "It'll be different this time, I promise."

"You don't have to go to any trouble for me, Jack," Daniel said solemnly. "You'll hardly even know I'm there." He sighed and looked down at his chest, his left arm suspended in a sling to keep it still, then patted his leg, now swathed from ankle to hip in bandages. "I must have been a cat in a former life."

"Well, you haven't made it through all nine of your lives yet, so let's not push the envelope, shall we?" Jack opened the door and the aide lifted a walker off the equipment cart, setting it in front of Daniel. He used it to pull himself slowly to his feet, bearing his weight on his uninjured left leg.

He balanced briefly with the device, stepped up onto the running board with his good leg, and hoisted himself upward. The aide helped him get his bandaged leg into the truck amid much gasping and groaning that accompanied every movement.

Jack folded up the walker and waited while the aide put it into the truck's back seat along with the other equipment, and shut Daniel's door. As the aide turned to return the chair and cart into the hospital, Jack called out his thanks to the man, and with a final wave Jack walked around to the driver's side and got in.

"We're gonna have a good time together, Daniel," Jack assured him with a smile. "Movies, pizza, the Discovery Channel... anything you want, while you're home with me. I'll be your personal slave for the next couple of weeks or so. However long it takes you to be on your own again."

Daniel's voice was very small and faint as they sat in the truck. "Really, Jack?"

Warmth filled Jack's heart. The two men exchanged a long look, and then Jack reached out to pat Daniel's shoulder. "Sure. Don't worry, everything's gonna be just fine." He turned and started the ignition. Hands on the steering wheel, Jack gazed unseeingly out the windshield. "I really don't mind," he said, trying to put every scrap of sincerity he felt into his words. "For you, I'd do anything." He looked back at Daniel, anxious to see that his friend was really okay with his plans for them.

"Thanks." Daniel smiled at him, looking out from beneath his lashes, shy and embarrassed. "You're the best friend I've ever had. I really mean that."

Jack's heart was doing somersaults in his chest, but he gave no outward sign how that look was affecting him. "Backatcha, Danny. Why you still like me after all the shit I've put you through, I'll never know, but you do, and I'm grateful for that," he said in a voice just above a whisper.

Daniel looked down into his lap, obviously deeply touched. He glanced over at Jack with a smile. "Seems to me I've given you some shit right back over the years. Let's call us even, okay?"

Jack held his right hand out, and they shook on it. "Deal."

With a smile, Jack put the truck in gear, and they headed for home. As they drove he let Daniel punch the buttons on the radio and listen to whatever he liked.

In a little less than an hour, with Daniel sleeping on the den sofa, the CPM machine whirring away softly under his leg, Jack took the opportunity to sit down at his desk. He rolled out a length of graph paper over a topographic survey of his lot, carefully tracing every line onto the faintly lined paper. He sketched in the existing trees and the footprint of the house from the builder's site plan, then stared at it for a while, determining how deep the shade went in all areas, where there was full sun and what would have partial sun, partial shade and deep shade.

With his grandmother's little guidebook beside him, he made a list of all the appropriate plants he would need for the garden, then hit the internet to research growing conditions and zone hardiness for each of them. He coded the list with symbols that only he could understand to keep prying eyes or accidental glances from revealing his plot, and put away the book. His garden project would take a lot of time, but he could work on it little by little, leaving his materials – all but that little book – out on his desk in plain sight.

Jack simply didn't have the language skills needed to impress a man like Daniel, and he knew it. But what he lacked in linguistics he could make up for in cleverness. This was the most ingenious plan he'd ever come up with for any purpose, and he was sure Daniel would appreciate it for that, if nothing else.

His heart filled with love and hope, he glanced up at his roomie now and then to make sure he was resting comfortably.

~~**~~

After lunch and a long, slow trip down the hall for Daniel to use the bathroom, Jack was just getting his friend settled back on the couch when the doorbell rang.

"Don't get up, Daniel," said Jack lightly, teasing. "I'll get it."

He sauntered to the door and smiled at the delivery guy. "Oh. What's this?" he asked innocently, taking charge of the tall vase and a small pot. He eased the pot into the crook of his left arm and took the vase in his left hand, then pulled a folded bill from his trouser pocket and handed it to the man with a wink and a smile. "Thanks," he told him quietly, and returned to the den on happy feet.

"Who was it?" called Daniel from the sofa as Jack entered the room.

"Look! Somebody sent us flowers," Jack told him. He set the items on the coffee table, then proceeded to inspect the little envelopes hanging on the ribbons of each container.

He frowned. "Okay, this one's for you," he told Daniel, and pushed the iris toward him. "And so's this one. Huh. I didn't get any." He stood up, looking as nonplussed as he could manage, hands on hips. "I guess I'm not as popular as you are, Doctor Jackson."

"Oh, that's just great," Daniel moaned, his lip curling in a sneer of distaste. "Call Janet and tell her I'll need an allergy shot now in addition to all the other drugs she's giving me." He eyed the blooms unhappily. "The tall one's an iris, but what's the other thing? The pink one in the pot?"

"A geranium, I think. Interesting leaves. Kinda like oak leaves. I don't think I've seen one like that before. It's pretty."

Jack made a great show of studying the flowers. "Who d'ya suppose they're from?"

Daniel shrugged. "I dunno. Somebody who obviously doesn't know me very well," he said flatly, picking up the cards. The first one he opened had a single word printed in bold, plain letters that defied identification by the writing style. So did the second one. " 'Translate' and 'codex.' Wonder what that's supposed to mean?"

Jack grinned. "Maybe your secret admirer knows you better than you think. Looks like you've got a puzzle to solve. I'll take these outdoors so they don't bother your nose." He picked up the containers and carried them outside, setting them on the deck table, leaving his friend to study the cards.

"Who would send me flowers?" Daniel mused aloud.

"Y'got me," Jack said flatly as he returned to the den. "They're pretty, though. I set them on the table on the deck so you could see them through the window when you're in the living room."

"Thanks, Jack."

He fingered the cards in his lap again. "Codex," Daniel mused. "Translate. Translate the codex. What codex?" Daniel stared at the cards from the florist shop, his busy brain trying to decipher the two messages and what they might mean. The effort tired him out, so eventually he set the cards aside, slid back down on the couch and slept again. There would be plenty of time for the puzzle later, but it would keep his mind occupied until he could fill it with work.

Jack felt a sense of satisfaction that his little mystery wouldn't be unraveled too soon, and went into the kitchen to clean up the dishes from lunch. After that he spent a while in his den with the landscape plan, drawing out symbols for the various plants he wanted to use and coloring them with map pencils he had purchased just for this project. Carefully he trimmed around each grouping of plants, referring to the little book for the meanings, and arranged the cut-outs on the paper, experimenting with both the messages and the plants' needs.

It was early evening before he realized it, and he hid the book behind some others on his bookshelves before waking up Daniel. His friend was still sacked out on the couch, his glasses askew on his face, reading material in a slack grip on his belly. Jack smiled at the sight and carefully removed Daniel's glasses, setting them aside on the coffee table before going into the kitchen to start dinner. He decided Daniel could sleep a few minutes more, until the food was ready.

~~**~~

Cleaning up after their meal didn't take long, and Jack stood just behind the den sofa, wiping his hands on a towel and looking down at his friend. Daniel reclined against a bunch of pillows, a book tented on his chest, his fingers gently holding onto the spine. He'd been up reading for several hours but was still in a lot of pain, and the medication for that made him incredibly sleepy.

Daniel was in need of a haircut, but hadn't had time to get one lately and probably wouldn't be able to go out for a while. Jack hoped he'd let it grow again, and put a hand up to his own nape to check his length. He was past due as well, but now that he wasn't military anymore, he didn't have to follow the regs. He could let his hair grow, if he wanted; maybe he'd let it get long, like it had been when he was a teenager.

Jack decided he wanted to do just that. He idly wondered if Daniel would like it if his hair were long. Maybe he'd let it grow and grow and put it back in a ponytail. He ran his fingers over his chin and thought about adding a beard and mustache, but facial hair itched, and he didn't like it. He'd keep his face clean-shaven. Maybe he'd even get one or both of his ears pierced, get a whole new look to emphasize his civilian status.

His eyes strayed back to that sleeping face, and he felt something inside him shift. For the first time since they'd gotten home, he really looked at Daniel, and discovered that the man he'd known so well and fought beside for so long was beautiful, inside and out. Beyond the handsome face and gorgeous blue eyes, there was a perpetual innocence about him, a wonder at such small things the universe revealed to them. Looking at things through the eyes of Daniel's soul made everything an adventure.

Oh, he knew he had it bad, all right.

Shaking his head with a wry grin, he returned to the kitchen and looked out the windows into the back yard. Daniel hadn't gotten the first message, but Jack was certain that, in time, he would. All the evidence was there in the containers on the table. All he had to do was translate it.

Iris and oak-leafed geranium: I bring you a message of true friendship.

Jack had to be patient. This stirring inside him wasn't something he could put into words, at least not yet, but the flowers would help him to say so many precious little things. He hoped that, in time, Daniel would understand. And if he didn't, well, Jack would keep searching for some other way to communicate, or he'd content himself with the friendship they already shared. As long as Daniel was in his life, that was all that really mattered. He could help Daniel, look after him, be there for him when he was needed, and step out of the way when he wasn't.

He envisioned that manly face and form that he knew so well, but didn't really know at all. He'd learn every inch of what he could see, every glimpse of what Daniel chose to show him. He'd ask questions, learn about Daniel's past and what made him the way he was. Suddenly Jack found himself wanting to know everything about Daniel – his favorite color, what movies he liked, his favorite books and authors, especially if there were fiction writers among them, and then Jack would read Daniel's favorite books and endeavor to learn more still.

His heart ached, well aware that he had fallen in love, hard, wishing he could find a proper way to tell Daniel what was in his heart, but Jack had never been a man of words. That was Daniel's forte. Meanwhile, Jack would be doing the best he could, and if Daniel didn't get the message... well, they were doing fine just like they were.

"Time for bed, Daniel," announced Jack, returning to the den. He was tired, and his body was screaming to lie down and be still. The journey to get both of them into the back of the house would be long and arduous.

Daniel's head turned, his eyelids cracking open slowly as what Jack had said seeped into his weary mind. "I thought I'd just stay here on the sofa," said Daniel, now looking up at Jack with wide-open eyes. He was obviously not looking forward to that long walk.

"Don't chicken out on me now," Jack shot back playfully. "C'mon, you can do it. You made it just fine the couple times you went to the bathroom. We're both tired, but we'll make it okay." He handed Daniel a pain pill and a glass of water and watched while he took it without complaint.

They waited twenty minutes for the medication to be at full effect before Daniel started to move. With a heavy sigh, Daniel began the slow, difficult process of shifting his injured leg out of the CPM and down to the floor. That was always the most difficult part of the process, and the most excruciating. Using his leg muscles to shift his bandaged limb hurt badly enough, but that unassisted drop off the sofa and onto the floor was wildly painful, and it would take him several minutes to recover once he got his foot down. Often, Daniel had tears in his eyes when he finally managed to get that one movement done.

Jack would have loved to help him with that, but bending to assist and bearing the weight of his limb would have hurt Jack just as much, and Daniel wouldn't allow him to do that. So Jack watched and waited, his whole body tensing when Daniel gasped in agony. His leg dropped quickly to the floor, landing hard on his heel, and for several long moments, he just sat there, holding his leg and panting while Jack looked on helplessly.

When Daniel finally quieted and gave Jack the nod that he was ready to proceed, Jack braced himself. He held the walker and let Daniel pull himself upright, then stepped away to let Daniel start off on the long journey.

They walked together, Jack taking little steps beside Daniel as he hobbled along with his walker, one hand on his back to insure that he wouldn't fall. It took a while, but they managed, both of them sweating with effort by the time they reached the bathroom, situated between the two bedrooms in the forward wing of the house. Daniel sagged against the wall for a moment to rest. "Think I'm gonna need another pain pill, Jack."

"It's too soon," Jack reminded him sympathetically. His eyes flicked up to Daniel's face, gone gray with anguish. "I wish I could give you another one, but we don't need you overdosing. You'll feel better once you can relax in the bed."

Daniel shook his head, tears of distress glittering in his eyes. "I know, I know. Just wishing out loud."

Jack eyed him, anxious to help, feeling damned helpless. "You ready now?"

Daniel nodded and carefully eased away from the wall, panting slightly. Jack guided him into the bathroom, turned on the lights, and then left him alone to do what he needed to do before bed.

When Daniel emerged from the bathroom, he started to turn toward the guest room, but Jack put a hand lightly on his shoulder and nodded toward the master bedroom. "C'mon. Sleep with me, Daniel."

As soon as the words left Jack's mouth, a hot pang of desire shot down into his groin. He shook it off, ignoring it completely, focusing on Daniel's pain and his own.

"I'll be fine in the guest room, Jack," Daniel argued, sagging against the walker. He was obviously wiped out from all the exercise he'd gotten that day, just going back and forth between sofa and bathroom.

"We've slept together before," Jack argued wearily, shaking his head. "We do it all the time in the field. Did, anyway."

"We're not in the field," Daniel argued half-heartedly. "You've got a perfectly good guest room—"

"Look, neither one of us is very spry at the moment," Jack reminded him gently. "If you need something, I'll be right there, and that's a helluva lot closer than gimping down the hall at three in the morning. The bathroom's closer to my bed, anyway, and the CPM's already installed there. It's too big and heavy for me to move right now, so we're stuck with this arrangement. It just made the most sense to me at the time, when the folks who brought your equipment in were setting it up."

With a sigh and a nod of understanding, Daniel acquiesced and limped toward Jack's room. He sat down on the side of the unmade bed, groaning with relief. Jack stepped into the bathroom and dampened a washcloth with hot water, squeezed out the excess and brought it to Daniel along with a hand towel.

"Here, get a little of the sweat off, and I'll get you something to sleep in," Jack suggested. "You'll have to make do with sponge baths till those bandages come off."

Daniel accepted the cloth, took off his glasses and started with his face. Jack laid the glasses on the nightstand, then rummaged in the bag he'd packed for Daniel with some of his clothes from his base quarters, taking out a T-shirt and some boxers. He took Daniel's used T-shirt and tossed it into the bathroom hamper, then helped his friend remove his sweat pants and boxers and wash down his legs.

Jack kept his eyes on Daniel's bandages or his face, carefully avoiding looking at anything else while he was nude.

As soon as he finished, Daniel sighed and smiled at him, handing over the washcloth. "Thanks. I feel a little better now." He reached for the clean boxers and, with Jack's help, pulled them on over his hips. He slipped into the shirt, and then Jack helped him under the covers and fitted him back into the second CPM machine for the night.

When Daniel was settled and resting, Jack took his own nightclothes and went into the bathroom to wash up, change and brush his teeth. He kept his mind blank, purposefully thinking about nothing, shifting his awareness to his aching body instead. He took one of his own pain pills with a long swallow of water, glad for their first day at home to be over.

When he was done, he returned to the bedroom, eased carefully under the covers and snapped off the bedside lamp, sighing as he relaxed under the covers, lying on his back. His side still hurt, but pressure against his wound was bearable now so he could lie on his back for a while.

"I still don't understand why you wanted to take care of me," Daniel said gently. "You can barely take care of yourself."

"I'm doing fine. At least I can walk," said Jack, and then instantly regretted it. He turned his head on the pillow to face his bedmate. "Sorry. I didn't mean to—"

"It's okay. I'll be on both feet again before we know it." He smiled, facing the shadow that was Jack O'Neill. "Thank you for taking care of me. You're a good friend. Best ever."

"You're welcome, Danny." That was one of the reasons Jack loved this man so much. There Daniel was, facing a permanent handicap, and he was comforting Jack, thinking of others before himself and looking at the future with a positive attitude. Jack took a deep breath, sensing this was the right time for the other shoe to drop.

He turned his head, unable to roll onto his right side to fully face his friend. "Ah, I need to tell you something. It might come as kind of a shock, but you need to know. I gave Hammond my retirement papers last week."

Daniel's head whipped toward him on the pillow as he made eye contact. Shock flashed across his face, illuminated by moonlight coming through the sheer curtains. "Wha-what? What? You can't do that, Jack! We need you."

"That's sort of what George said, too." Jack sighed. He lifted one hand and placed it on Daniel's arm. "He's offered me a civilian advisory position. I'll be helping to run the base in an administrative capacity, train and recruit new people, crunch numbers and drum up support in Washington, but I won't be going through the gate anymore. With my knees and my back the way they are, I was probably facing a medical retirement soon anyway. I'm just too old for all that horsing around now."

"You're not old," Daniel defended staunchly. "You're in great shape--"

"Well, whatever. It's done. We're both grounded now. Both civilians."

"I'm so sorry."

With a shrug, Jack told him, "It was bound to happen eventually. We both knew that. I've already got 30 years in, and that's a long, long time. First contact is the sort of work for young men and women to do, not broken down old war horses like me."

There was an edge of anger to Daniel's voice as he whispered, "Don't talk like that. It sounds like you're giving up." His eyes glittered with challenge in the moonlight that turned them to silver.

"Not giving up," Jack promised firmly. "Just changing tactics. Putting my experience to good use, just like you'll be doing." He grinned. "And Carter's getting command of SG-1. We all knew you'd be happy about that."

Surprise dawned on the younger man's face. "You mean... Did she get a promotion? To lieutenant colonel?"

"Nah, not yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's not coming soon. Grogan's making up the fourth, taking her place as her second in command, and Hammond okayed Balinsky for their academic."

A soft smile lit Daniel's face, and he nodded his approval. "Yeah. It'll be a good team."

"As soon as Grogan and Balinsky learn Teal'c's not gonna chew 'em up when he gets that 'I will split you open like a ripe melon' look on his face, they'll be all right. They'll take care of each other, and we can't ask for more than that." He heard the wistfulness in his own voice and looked away. Now that he'd confided in Daniel, the finality of his choice set in, and with it came a trace of grief.

"Jack." His name on Daniel's lips was a sigh of defeat, a plea for silence, and a term of endearment all at the same time. Daniel's face filled with sorrow, determination and affection. "We'll get through this together. I'm just sorry you're... I know this'll be hard for you."

"You okay now?" Jack asked on a sigh, warily lifting his eyes to meet his friend's.

"Um." Those expressive eyebrows drew together over Daniel's gleaming eyes, half hidden in shadow.

Jack knew Daniel had a question he wasn't sure he wanted to ask. "Just spill it, Daniel."

"Did you retire... because of me?" There was pain and guilt in that tired voice, Daniel's face a landscape of pale light and shadow, all in silver and blue.

Jack carefully rolled over to face his bedmate, waiting for the pain from his movement to pass before he tried to speak. He laid his hand on Daniel's shoulder and squeezed slightly. This was exactly what Jack wanted, only this. Comfort filled him up, lifted his heart on gossamer wings. He smiled in the darkness. "The truth, Danny? Yes and no. I retired for both of us. It really was time for me to move on, but you know how I feel about leaving people behind. I couldn't let you go through this alone."

Daniel smiled at him. "Yeah. That's one of the things I love about you, Jack." His eyes slid shut as his pain medication kicked in, and he sighed a goodnight. In moments Daniel was soundly sleeping, the only sounds his even breaths and the quiet hum of the machine keeping his leg in constant, gentle motion.

For what seemed an eternity, Jack didn't even breathe. That declaration echoed inside Jack's mind, elating him and terrifying him all at the same time. Of course Daniel loved him. Jack had known that for years. But could Daniel love him? Could he fall in love with the man who had fought by his side for all those years?

Jack knew he had to be patient. He would continue to send the messages, sure that once Daniel was able to think clearly and concentrate on something besides the terrible pain he was enduring, the idea would clarify in his genius mind, and he would figure it out. And when he did, Jack was sure he was going to have to be prepared for anything.

For the moment, Daniel was peacefully sleeping close beside him, and Daniel loved him. It was more than enough.

23 May
Three Days Later

Daniel backed up to the sofa, thinking again how glad he was that Jack had chosen this room for him as the place to spend his days. He could stretch out on the honey brown leather sofa and watch TV if he wanted, or Jack had actual books in his library that Daniel could read. He could also snooze there in comfort and had done just that for much of the first few days. That location had given him little trouble getting back and forth to the bathroom by himself, so he'd tended not to move much once planted.

Whenever Daniel's glass had needed refilling, or he was hungry, he'd called Jack and asked him to fetch for him. When he wasn't running errands for Daniel, Jack could usually be found sitting at his desk not far away, working on something. He'd been quiet and studious, not running the usual chatter, and for long periods of time Daniel completely forgot Jack was even in the room until he needed to get up and had to be helped out of the CPM.

After his latest trip to the bathroom, Daniel contemplated sitting down in the recliner again, but knew Jack would be all over him for not setting up in the CPM on the couch. He glanced over at the desk, wondering once again what Jack's project was. Curiosity got the better of him this time. Jack was in the kitchen at the moment, making them dinner, so Daniel hobbled over to take a look.

He had no trouble recognizing the footprint of the house and the layout of the lot as Jack's home. Little cutouts of unidentifiable plants sat on top of the big sheet of graph paper, and Daniel realized instantly that his friend was working on a landscape plan for the place. That was a good thing, he knew. It would give Jack a hobby, something to fill his spare time, now that he was about to actually start having some.

The more he looked at the drawing, though, the more surprised he became. It wasn't just a beginner's drawing, laid out by someone who didn't know what they were doing. Light crosshatched lines in blue indicated places in the yard in year-round deep shade. Another pattern in lighter blue marked other areas of shade, using directional lines to indicate the seasonal slant. The plant groupings were unlabeled but drawn to scale and colored with map pencils to show greenery and blooming plants in a variety of colors. This was the work of someone who knew the art of landscaping well. Daniel thought maybe it was something only a master gardener could do. It might not be up to the level of a degreed landscape architect, but it was intricate and obviously well planned.

"What're you doing up?" Jack asked as he stepped into the room.

"Just looking at your project, here," Daniel assured him. "I didn't know you knew anything about landscaping, Jack." Daniel hoped his friend heard the admiration in his voice. "This is really good. You're going all out, huh?"

Jack shrugged and came to sit down behind the desk again. "It'll keep me off the streets," he teased. " 'Course I'll have to do it a little bit at a time. I'm makin' more money now that I did in the military, but the old bod won't let me do it all at once, and I wanna do it myself, not hire it done."

"You know, if I'm gonna be living here for a while, maybe I should pay you rent," Daniel offered. "I mean, I owe you that. And I should be helping with the groceries and utilities and stuff, too."

"Okay." Jack gave him a mysterious little smile. "We'll work out the details later. Right now, shouldn't you be off your feet?"

Daniel looked down at his bare toes. The ones on his injured leg were swelling, starting to darken a little and his skin felt tight. "Yeah. Gotta prop this baby up for a while." He turned and made his way back to the sofa, eased carefully down and let Jack fit him back into the machine. He leaned back on the stack of pillows as Jack switched on the CPM, and after Daniel got used to the slow, steady motion, the pain began to ease a little.

He grabbed the remote and changed the channel on the TV, turning on Jack's favorite cartoons. "So when did you learn how to do all that?" he asked, hoping for a little conversation.

Jack's silver head was bent over the plan again, moving the little cutouts around and staring at the paper. "Long time ago," he answered distantly.

"I figured that," Daniel shot back. "Tell me about it. Talk to me."

The doorbell rang just as Jack opened his mouth to answer. "Be right back," he said, and rose from his chair to disappear down the hall. A few moments later, he returned with a big smile, bearing a vase in each hand. "Daniel," Jack observed lightly, "somebody's got it bad for you."

"Who?" the younger man queried, studying the arrangements. "Nobody's even given me a hint. At first, I thought it might be Sam, but this speaks of romance, Jack. Have you noticed any of the women at the base looking at me?"

Jack's smile vanished and his eyebrows climbed up his forehead in his familiar clueless look. "I don't know if any of the women are looking at you, Daniel," he declared mildly. "If they were, don't you think I'd tell you? I mean, you need to get laid in the worst way, once you're able to do the wild thing again. You haven't had any in almost as long as me, and you were dead, for cryin' out loud. You should celebrate."

Daniel couldn't help grinning at him.

"What?" Jack demanded slyly, still trying for the clueless look, but certain he was failing miserably.

"So are you planning on doing anything about your own celibacy?"

Jack rolled his eyes and sighed. "I'll just go set these on the deck with the others, where you can see 'em, but they won't bother your nose."

"Wait a minute! Let me look at them first," Daniel argued.

Jack brought them closer.

Daniel studied the flowers. One arrangement had variegated tulips, yellow with bold streaks of red on the petals. Trailing over the edge of the vase were fine, feathery tendrils of vetch, tiny purple blossoms dotting the fern-like foliage in clusters. Mixed in with them were some pale yellow silk roses with a slight pink blush.

The second vase was tall and held an odd mixture of small tree branches and carnations. It was a unique arrangement, the dark green sprays of cedar providing a contrast with the pale green new leaves of mountain ash. Three white carnations in full bloom filled out the center of the arrangement. Neither of these had any cards aside from the standard 'Get Well Soon' blanks from the florist shop.

"Somebody sent you tree branches," Jack stated. "That's... different."

"Never seen an arrangement quite like that, but it's pretty. Don't you think?" Daniel reached out to touch one of the carnations, his fingertips stroking the silky flesh of a petal. Then he sneezed. And groaned, curling up on himself, one hand pressed against his chest wound. "Ow."

"Damn it," Jack growled crossly. He left the room with the arrangements and returned empty-handed. He gazed down at his roomie, worry evident in his eyes. "You okay, Danny? Should I call Fraiser?"

Gritting his teeth, Daniel writhed on the recliner, waiting for the pain to recede enough for him to be able to speak. "I think I'm okay. But no more flowers in the house, all right?"

"I'll just put 'em all out on the deck, if you get more," Jack promised, his hand on Daniel's shoulder. "I won't even bring 'em in anymore. Maybe I'll take some pictures of 'em so you can keep 'em handy and enjoy 'em in here. You sure you're okay?"

Daniel nodded. "Yeah. Pain's better now."

"Need meds?"

"No. I'll be okay in a minute."

With a sigh, Jack sat down at his desk, his shoulders slumped.

"Why don't you take a nap, Jack? You look beat."

Jack nodded. "Damned flowers," he growled.

"It's okay, Jack. I'll be fine."

"Sorry, Daniel," Jack murmured.

"It's not your fault I'm allergic to practically everything that blooms." Smiling to himself, his pain easing at last, Daniel just closed his eyes and went in search of his own rest, glad he had such a wonderful friend as Jack O'Neill.

For now, the topic of getting laid and their mutual celibacy was forgotten.

27 May
Four Days Later

The photos lay in a stack on the table beside the sofa where Daniel always sat. Jack made sure to take pictures of each and every grouping of flowers that arrived, dating them in the bottom right corner. The flowers themselves were kept exiled to the deck. Jack teased Daniel about the flower stand out back, and Sam agreed when she and Teal'c came for their daily visit.

"I've never seen that much variety at a florist's shop," she told Daniel when she brought him the latest photo of the morning's deliveries. "Some of these had to be special orders, because I know they aren't raised commercially as cut flowers."

Daniel frowned, staring at the photo she handed him. "You're right. I don't even know what some of these plants are."

She sat down on the recliner beside the sofa and picked up the stack of photos. "Let me see if I can help with that." She looked at the first one. "Japanese iris and oak-leaf geranium," she declared, pulling a pen from the pocket of her denim jacket. "This geranium is a very rare plant, Daniel. Probably very expensive. You might find one at a specialty nursery, but not likely at a florist's. Hmm."

"Or in someone's yard," Jack offered, coming into the room with a tall glass of diet cola for Sam and water for Teal'c. He handed them over and took his own iced tea over to the desk after checking Daniel's glass of lemonade to see if he needed a refill. Satisfied that he didn't need to be topped off, he took a seat and pretended to ignore everyone, turning his attention to the landscape plan.

Holding up one photograph, Sam pointed out a beautiful silk rose in the middle of an arrangement. "This is a Maiden's Blush rose, available at some craft stores. It's surrounded by silk Damask roses and live red double pinks that are nursery plants, rather than cut flowers. That's milvetch and this is a spray of new oak leaves. Really unusual arrangement. I can't imagine a florist putting this together without specific instructions to use these exact plants. They never mix silk and live flowers in the same arrangements, so this has to be important to the sender."

"Perhaps there is a reason for the choices," added Teal'c from his position seated on the arm of the recliner beside Sam.

"I'm sure there is," said Jack nonchalantly from the desk, his head bent over his drawing. "Someone's got the hots for our linguist."

Sam beamed at Daniel, her smile filled with affection for her wounded teammate. "They're sure going to a lot of trouble to impress you, Daniel."

"But who?" He shrugged helplessly. "I don't have a clue who might be interested in me." He smiled a little at his friends. "You wanna ask around, see if you can help me out, there, guys?"

Sam chuckled. "Nobody's said anything to me, and I've asked just about everyone at the base if they know anything," she informed him airily. "Believe me, you're the topic of a lot of gossip right now. We're all curious who your secret admirer might be, and nobody's got a clue. A couple of people have even gone by the flower shop that's sending these things, to try to bribe some information out of the staff there."

"And?"

She blushed a little. "Apparently, they're having quite a good time with this, too. Their lips are sealed."

"Yeah, I tried bribing the delivery guy, but he thought I was hitting on him," Jack deadpanned.

All heads turned toward him for a moment, and the four of them exchanged a look. After a beat, they turned back to each other and pretended he hadn't made that lame joke.

Jack bent his head over the paper again, the ghost of a smile hiding in the corners of his mouth.

"I have been investigating rumors, and aside from the special place the nursing staff in the infirmary has for you in their hearts, no one exhibits an overtly romantic affection for you, DanielJackson." Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps this is meant as a challenge to your intellect; a treasure hunt, I believe it is called."

"Well, if whoever's sending these things expects to get any real dialogue going, they need to speak up," Daniel groused. "I can't read minds and don't have a clue who might be expressing said interest."

Daniel handed Sam the stack of photos. "Would you mind identifying all the plants for me? A few of them I already know, like the common ones, roses and iris, but some of them I've never seen before. I'd like to have a record so that, if I ever do find out who's sending me these things, I'll be able to ask why she chose these specific flowers. They're really crazy arrangements, but still beautiful in their own odd way."

"I'll do that, Daniel," Sam assured him, tucking the photos into her jacket pocket. "Meanwhile, how are you feeling? Janet says you should be out of that medieval torture device soon." She eyed the CPM with interest. "How's the physical therapy going?"

"Oh, yay, thanks for that pleasant reminder," Daniel groused with a grimace. "Janet said the PT would be, and I quote, 'exquisitely painful,' and she wasn't exaggerating. I didn't know anything could hurt so bad. The Goa'uld could take lessons in torture from my therapist." He frowned heavily, running a hand over the gauze wrapping at the top of his thigh. "The bandages will be coming off soon, and I'm not looking forward to seeing the mess underneath."

"You've still got your leg, though," Jack reminded him quietly. "And considering there was a chance for a day or so there after we got back that you might lose it entirely, I think you know how lucky you are to have those scars to look at, don'tcha?" He raised his gaze to Daniel's and waited.

Daniel nodded. "Yeah. I do, Jack. I do."

"Besides, scars are sexy." Jack dropped his gaze back to his drawing. "Or so I've been told."

Daniel snorted back a laugh. Sam's came out in startled surprise. Teal'c raised one eyebrow.

Without looking up, Jack continued to work on his plan.

"You'll be back on your feet in no time," Sam promised Daniel with a grin. She stood up and patted her jacket pocket to confirm she had the photos, so she could take them home and do her research into the various plant species for him. "We gotta go to work now. You want either of us to bring you anything from the base? Some books or something?"

"Nah, Jack's my runner," Daniel told her. "He says the exercise's doing him good. And Nyan brings me stuff from the base – that's not work related." He shot a nervous glace at Jack, hoping his keeper hadn't discovered that Nyan was also sneaking him reference books so he could work a little, when he felt up to it.

Jack's eyes were suddenly on him, boring holes right through his body.

Busted.

Carter turned toward her former commander. "And how are you doing? Anything I can get you?"

"You want the list?" he teased.

Sam obviously didn't get the joke. Neither did Daniel.

"There's a list?" he asked, his eyebrows skyrocketing. "Plants for your garden, maybe?"

He turned to Sam, smiling proudly. "Have you seen what he's doing, Sam? This place is gonna be gorgeous! Go look at the landscape plan he's drawing up."

"Not yet!" Jack shot back forcefully, his hands spreading over the top of the drawing in an attempt to hide it from any casual glances from their visitors. "It's not ready for unveiling. I'm still working on placements."

Carter had been about to go over to the desk, but she picked up her diet cola and took a sip instead. "Let me know if you want any help with it, sir. You know me and plants."

"Lose the 'sir,' Carter," he reminded her. "Unless I've been secretly knighted lately, I'm not a 'sir' anymore. Not in my own house, anyway."

"Right, Jack," she amended with a grin and a shrug. "Old habits."

Jack leaned back in his chair and gave her a little smile. "I'm starting to feel pretty good, actually. Still get tired easy, but I'm okay. Hardly taking any pain meds at all now. Don't either of you worry about us, okay?"

Sam gave him a hesitant, relieved little smile. "Okay." Her smile deepened.

Jack grinned back at her and gave her a wink. "So, how're you doing with your new team?"

Sam beamed. "First mission went just fine, everybody back in one piece, no dents or scratches."

"I'm sure having Teal'c at your side makes it feel like we're all still with you," Daniel added, looking over at the Jaffa. "Wish we still were."

She smiled fondly at him. "We carry you both with us wherever we go, Daniel." She stood up and stepped over to him, took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "See you guys later," she said with a fond smile. "We'll let ourselves out." With a wave at Jack, she carried her glass with her down the hallway.

"If I may be of assistance to either of you, do not hesitate to call," Teal'c added with a slight smile. He bowed slightly to both of them, then followed Carter out of the room with his glass of water in hand.

Silence stretched between the two men, who stared at each other, both lost in thought.

"I miss them," said Daniel wistfully. "I miss the team, being together all the time."

Jack nodded. "Yeah. Me, too."

Daniel's heart started pounding. He could see the hunger in Jack's eyes as he stared back at him. Sitting up straighter in the recliner, he stared at his former commanding officer. "You could have it back, Jack. You can ask Hammond to rescind your retirement and have your place back on SG-1. You know he'd give you that in a heartbeat, and you deserve it. You still want it. I know you do. I can see it in your eyes."

Jack turned his gaze down to the paper, and he started moving the cutouts around again. It was a long time before he spoke, and his voice was thick and heavy. "Not without you, Daniel. You know how I am about scientists."

Swallowing down his emotions, Daniel nodded. "Yeah. Sam and I were the only ones you could stand. I guess you did the right thing. But if you wanted to go back, I'd be okay with that." He waited for Jack to make eye contact again. "Just so you know."

Those brown eyes were steady and warm. "I don't need your permission, Daniel," he said quietly, his voice still husky. "I'm doing what I want to do. What I've needed to do for a long time. I just... I hope you can learn to be happy riding a desk. First contact was pretty exciting compared to research and mission prep, and when it's not a voluntary choice..."

"I'll get used to it," Daniel promised. "If you can, I can." He offered Jack what he hoped was a comforting smile, because he obviously needed it. "It'll be okay. We'll still be saving the world -- just doing it from behind the scenes now."

Nodding, Jack lowered his gaze back to the paper. "And you do it better than anyone."

Warmth and affection filled Daniel. He watched Jack work for another moment, then thought he might be staring. He finally grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.

"You okay with me going back to work tomorrow?" asked Jack quietly a little while later.

"If you'll help me out of bed tomorrow before you go, I should be fine till you get home." Daniel looked over at his friend. "I'll miss you, though. It'll be quiet around here without you."

He had meant that earnestly, never in a million years imagining that innocent sentiment would result in that look on Jack's face. It was all warm and soft and surprised, and then instantly gone, as if Jack had realized he'd let something human show. That warmed Daniel all the way down to his toes, and he smiled hugely.

He thought to himself that a man couldn't ask for a better friend than Jack O'Neill. Jack knew that Daniel cared for him deeply, just as he knew Jack cared for him in the same way.

He turned his mind back to the television, safe and happy in the comfort of their friendship.

28 May
The Next Day

"You're sure you'll be okay here by yourself?" asked Jack worriedly, keys in hand.

Daniel lay propped up on the den sofa, soft pillows behind his back, remote control in hand. He waved it at the coffee table, where his medications, cell phone, several bottles of water, stacks of books and his laptop waited with his first real work in almost two weeks. "I'll be fine, Jack," he assured his friend. "You're only gonna be gone half a day, and I need to start taking care of myself anyway. If I need something, I'll get up and get it. If it's too much for me, I promise I'll wait till you get home or call you if it's urgent." He made a shooing motion with both hands. "Now go to work."

Jack frowned, concern in his eyes. "Okay, but if you need anything, call me, okay? I can be here in a half hour."

"Of course, Dad," Daniel teased. He leaned over and picked up his cell phone off the table, holding it up for Jack to see. "I've got everything in reach, all right? Go. Shoo. Off to work. Take a load off Hammond."

With a silent nod and a final smile, Jack turned and left the house.

Daniel sighed with relief, listening for the truck starting up and taking off down the street. When he was sure Jack was gone, he dialed Information and got the number for a taxi. He scheduled to be picked up and got an estimated time of arrival, then gave himself time to get out to the curb to meet the car. He knew Jack would throttle him if he ever found out about this trip, and had worked out the timing in his head for a couple of days before attempting it, hoping he could make it through without any complications.

His shirt pocket was full of the cards that had come with the flowers, as reminders to the florist. He headed down to the shop that had made all the deliveries, intent on an investigation of his own.

He was sweating from exertion and pain as he hobbled inside the store, leaning heavily on his walker. A middle-aged woman in a red smock came to the counter to meet him. She looked friendly and cheerful, and there was a gleam of sympathy in her eyes as she smiled at him.

"Can I help you, sir?" she asked warmly.

With a smile, Daniel pulled the cards from his pocket and held them out to her. "I hope so," he returned, trying to hold back the excitement of possibly solving the mystery in the next few minutes. "My name is Daniel Jackson, and I'm trying to find out who's been sending me these flowers. I'm sure you know who it is. They're very unusual arrangements. Tree branches, exotic flowers, silk flowers, and pictures of flowers."

Barely glancing at the cards, the woman laughed softly and shook her head, eyes twinkling. "So, you're the one! Oh, honey, I'd love to tell you, but I can't. I've been sworn to secrecy." She made a motion with her fingers across her mouth, as if zipping her lips closed. She passed the cards back to Daniel.

Daniel cocked his head, gave her his best smile and blinked innocently at her. "Aw, come on. Just a hint? A little description? I've gotta know!" He waggled his eyebrows at her.

The florist nodded. "I was told that you love figuring things out, solving puzzles, and that this would be a good one." She chuckled and crossed her arms across her chest, obviously having a good time with this little game. "I guess your secret admirer was right. It must be driving you crazy."

"Yeah, it is." He sighed dramatically and looked down at his injured leg, covered with a pair of loose-fitting sweat pants, his still-swollen bare foot peeking out from beneath the cuff and the walker in his grip both testifying to the fact that he was injured. "I've just been in so much pain, you know, with the injury and all..." He glanced up at her with a pleading look, hoping the pitiful whine he'd added to his voice would garner some sympathy. The name embroidered on her smock announced her as Helen. "Have mercy, Helen. Just a little hint, huh?" He shamelessly batted his eyelashes at her and looked at her over the rims of his glasses.

Helen shook her head, her smile widening, eyes dancing with merriment. "Sorry, Doctor Jackson. I'm just dying to tell you, but I can't. Really. I was told you'd be quite charming and persuasive when you came by, and that you are. But I've given my word, and I can't break it.

"Would you like to take today's arrangement with you, or shall I have it delivered to you later? It's scheduled for this afternoon."

Hope deflated, Daniel sagged a little against the walker. "Deliver it later, if you don't mind. Thanks."

"Hope you feel better soon," Helen called. She came out from behind the counter and rushed to open the door for him. "Bye, Doctor Jackson, and good luck with your little mystery!"

"Thanks."

Daniel hobbled back out to the waiting cab for the drive back to Jack's house, paid the taxi and made his way slowly inside. He felt like he'd run a marathon. He sank onto the living room sofa, sweating and out of breath, wishing he'd been less adventurous, and hurriedly pulled the bottle of pain medication out of the pocket of his sweat pants. He shook one tablet out and swallowed it dry, keeping his seat on the sofa to look out at the flowers for a few minutes.

Glancing out the window, he saw all the various arrangements in their pots and vases on tables and chairs on the deck, where they wouldn't bother his allergies. He knew he should get up and go back to the den before Jack got home, but he thought that, if he just studied the arrangements a little longer, something might come to him.

Daniel was still sitting on that sofa and thinking about the flowers when Jack returned from the base.

"Hi, honey, I'm home," Jack called from the foyer. "Daniel? Where are you?" He stepped into the living room and spied the other man on the couch. "There y'are. You hungry? Need to pee? Want some company? And why the hell aren't you in that little doohickey the docs sent home with you?"

"Hi, Jack," Daniel said absently, still staring out the window. "I'll go back to the den in a minute. I'm okay here for now." He chewed on his lower lip. "Who is she? This is driving me crazy."

Jack stopped three paces into the room. "She, who?"

"The woman who's sending me all those flowers." Daniel gestured toward the window, still thinking, contemplating the identity of his secret admirer.

When he turned back to look at his host, Jack was gone, disappeared somewhere into the rest of the house.

Daniel shrugged and got up to hobble back into Jack's den. Taking a seat on the sofa, he settled his leg into the CPM and switched it on, then pulled his laptop onto his thighs and went back to his work. If Jack knew, Daniel was sure he would tell him. Only Jack wasn't talking. In fact, he hadn't been talking much for the last week, unless they had visitors. He'd just been seeing to Daniel's needs, helping him around the house and speaking in answer to Daniel's questions when it was just the two of them in the house. Otherwise, Jack had been unnaturally quiet lately, seeming kind of sad about something.

Maybe his retirement was making him feel old or unnecessary. If that were the problem, it was Daniel's duty and privilege as his friend to cheer him up. He wanted Jack to be happy, especially now that the pressure was off him for the first time in eight years. Maybe soon, when Daniel could get around a little better, he'd talk Jack into a fishing trip at the cabin.

He turned back to his work, smiling up at Jack as he reappeared.

Jack's face was drawn, his eyes hooded and dark.

"What's the matter, Jack? Something happen at the base?"

"Nah. Everything's fine." He turned away after setting a cup of coffee down for Daniel on the nearby table.

"Then why is your sense of humor MIA? Why've you been so down for the last week?" Daniel set his work aside.

Jack didn't reply. He started to leave the room, then half turned, not quite looking at his friend. "Just got a lot on my mind, Daniel. Nothing for you to worry about. I'll go make us some lunch."

"Wanna talk about it?" Daniel prompted gently. "I'm a good listener."

"I don't do that," Jack shot back with a trace of frustration in his face and voice. "I don't know how."

"So maybe I could help you learn."

"Maybe later." Jack shrugged, his gaze on the floor. "I'm kinda tired and just wanna get something to eat. But thanks. I know you're just trying to help, and I appreciate that. I really do." He returned to the kitchen, silent and brooding as he prepared their meal. He ate in silence and as soon as he was done, he went back into the kitchen to start cleaning up.

Daniel followed him and took a seat on the living room sofa, looking out the window at the arrangements, lost in thought, wondering what he could do to help his friend find the peace he so obviously needed. The flowers caught Daniel's eye, and he wondered about Jack's garden, and what that project symbolized for him.

Daniel's fine mind drifted aimlessly, identifying each blossom that Sam had pointed out to him. Lilac, ivy, bachelor's button and passion flower. Ranunculus and heliotrope. Jonquils and red roses. Carolina rose and honey flower. Sometimes the flowers were freshly cut; sometimes they were live plants potted into interesting little containers. Still others, those that were foreign and exotic or not blooming in the spring, were printed on cards or delivered as inoffensive silk blooms that couldn't affect Daniel's allergies.

Today, the arrangement delivered just after lunch had consisted of long, lacy tendrils of vetch, the bud of a white hothouse rose, another just beginning to open and one full-blown, with a bunch of brilliant blue primroses and a spray of variegated tulips, red ones liberally streaked with white. They were beautiful and unique, and Daniel couldn't help but feel the sender must be, too.

"Tell me about your garden, Jack," he suggested, rising from the sofa and making his way slowly into the kitchen where his friend stood washing the dishes.

"There isn't one, yet," Jack returned brusquely. "Just a couple of lonesome flowers out by the trees and a few pots on the deck. Though that population seems to be growing without much effort on my part. You could open up your own flower shop with all the new potted plants delivered here in the last few days."

"I'm guessing it's something you've wanted to do for a long time," said Daniel warmly, ignoring the subtle reference to Daniel's secret admirer.

"Yup."

"Do you plan to do it all by yourself, or do you want help?"

"I have to do it."

"No, you don't. Sam would love to help. Teal'c might enjoy it, too. When I can get around better, I'd like—"

"No." Jack's response was short and sharp, with an edge of anger to it. He continued to look down at the soapy water and the plate he was ruthlessly scrubbing clean.

Daniel decided not to press. He sighed, casting around for another angle to try. "What kind of flowers are you planning to plant?"

"All kinds. Maybe even some weeds, just for the hell of it."

"Okay, this is going nowhere," said Daniel with a sigh of frustration, running one hand through his hair. "I'm trying to get you to talk, just talk, so that maybe you'll open up to me and tell me what's bothering you, but you're being really impossible, Jack. What the hell is wrong? I want to know. I care. I'd really like to help, if I can."

Jack's shoulders slumped. His head sagged over the sink. He sighed. When he spoke, the sharpness in his voice was gone, replaced with weariness. "I'm just tired, Daniel," he said slowly. "Today was hard. I never knew there was so much paperwork in the world, and now half of it's on my desk, and I'm drowning in it. Just... cut me some slack, okay? I'm not mad at you. I'm just beat."

Daniel leaned on his walker and touched Jack's arm, tilting his head to look into Jack's face, bent as he was over the sink. "Leave the dishes, then. Go to bed and have a nap. I'll wake you whenever you want, and we can order dinner out later, maybe Chinese. My treat. Okay?"

Jack lifted his head and looked at Daniel. There was so much raw pain in his eyes that it took Daniel's breath away. Jack nodded, pulled his wet hands out of the dishwater, dried them off on a towel Daniel handed him and left the room.

Daniel followed him to the bedroom. "Want some pain meds?"

"No." Jack stretched out on his uninjured side, facing away from Daniel.

With a sigh, Daniel rephrased. "Shouldn't you take something for the pain you're so obviously feeling?"

A long silence was his answer.

"Okay, I'm taking that as a 'yes.' " Daniel went into the bathroom, shook out one of Jack's pills and brought it to the bed. He sat down on the side of the mattress, leaving the walker standing on its own to help him up, and held the pill close to Jack's lips. "Here. I couldn't carry a glass of water. Can you take it dry?"

Jack frowned, opening his eyes to regard his worried friend.

Daniel was dismayed to see that he looked defeated, hopeless, something he wasn't accustomed to seeing in Jack O'Neill's eyes. There was such need gleaming back at him from those liquid brown depths that it almost scared Daniel.

With a sigh, Jack took the pill from Daniel, popped it into his mouth and swallowed it. "Thank you." He lay back on the pillow and stared straight ahead at the wall.

A lump formed in Daniel's throat. He needed Jack, needed to draw on his friend's strength and support, and right now he didn't think Jack had enough for himself, much less to share with anyone else.

Daniel swallowed down his fear and put a hand on Jack's shoulder, offering some support of his own. "How long do you wanna sleep?"

"Gimme two hours."

Daniel patted his shoulder, rubbed his back a little. "Okay. Try to get some rest. See you in two."

He stood up and hobbled back to the den, settled down on the sofa to work and set his laptop to chime in two hours. His thoughts, however, kept drifting back to his friend. Jack was good for him, good to him. Daniel didn't think he'd ever had a better friend in his life.

He got up and went to the kitchen, prowled through the pantry and refrigerator and decided they could eat in. He checked to make sure they had everything he wanted for a simple meal they could share, something he hoped would lift Jack's spirits. Daniel knew this sort of thing often accompanied campouts and tall tales, though he'd never had that experience himself. He thought it might lead to deeper conversation if he could get Jack talking by having a cookout in the living room.

It was worth a shot, anyway.

When the laptop chimed, he awakened Jack and stood patiently by while he got up and splashed some water on his face. Jack said he felt better and went into the den to work on his garden plan for a little while. He still looked detached, distracted, moody, but not knowing what else to do, Daniel gave him his space and let him be.

Daniel pecked away on his keyboard, getting very little actual translating done, since his attention was squarely fixed on Jack. Daniel studied every sigh, every line of tension around Jack's mouth, every long glance off into the distance, trying desperately to read his friend's mind or heart, but he came up blank. He could feel the despair radiating off Jack and knew it was way more than paperwork or the nagging annoyance of his wound.

This was something lodged in Jack's heart, and Daniel couldn't see in there. Jack had impenetrable walls up between them now, and Daniel couldn't figure that out. Over the years those walls had gradually disappeared until Daniel had thought he could read him like the Rosetta stone. It had always taken patience and skill to translate the messages, but somehow he'd always managed to figure out what it was that Jack needed, and find a way to help him.

This time, however, the walls were covered in a script Daniel had never before seen, and there seemed to be no key to the alien alphabet.

Hours passed, and Jack asked if he was getting hungry. That reminded Daniel about the surprise he'd planned, and he saved his file on the laptop, set it aside, and stood up.

"We ordering Chinese?" asked Jack with barely a gleam of interest.

"Not this time," Daniel returned with a secretive smile. "I thought of something else. Something fun."

He stumped his way into the kitchen with Jack on his heels, interested now at the hint of something unexpected happening. "Go away, Jack. I'll call you when I need help. I wanna do this myself."

"But I wanna do something. Let me help." Jack opened the refrigerator, peering inside as if expecting to see something that hadn't been there earlier.

"Out!" Daniel ordered with a smile. "Shoo. You can help me by laying a fire in the fireplace." He pointed into the living room, and Jack obeyed without another word.

While Jack was busy with his task, Daniel opened the refrigerator and pulled out a package of franks, putting a corner of the plastic packaging between his teeth for the moment. He set the squeeze bottle of mustard, a jar of sliced jalapeños and a jar of pickle relish onto the tiny sliver of counter between the refrigerator and the sink. He opened one of the bins and took out a package of shredded cheese and then got an onion from the vegetable crisper. Putting both the cheese and franks packages back into his mouth, he stepped out of the open refrigerator door, closing it behind him.

Carefully, he moved the walker to the left as far as he could manage and still reach the counter, then set the other items on the far side of the sink. Gradually he worked his way left along the kitchen counter until he could reach the plates in the cabinet and the pantry. He set the cheese and franks down with the jars, then peeled and chopped the onion. Then he put everything they'd need onto serving plates, along with a pan for the chili, their soft drinks in chilled cans, and a bag of potato chips. He knew he couldn't carry anything other than the chips, but it would be less work for Jack to have to do if everything were all arranged and simply needed transport.

Once Daniel had the makings for the hot dogs, he pulled a box of graham crackers and marshmallows from the pantry, fetched some of Jack's shish kebab skewers out of the utensil drawer, and dug into his personal stash for a handful of Hershey bars. His mouth watered as he thought of roasting the marshmallows over the open fire until they were charred outside and squishy inside, then placing them onto a slab of chocolate between the graham crackers. The hot marshmallows would melt the chocolate and make a gooey, messy treat that he thought Jack would love. They would have hot dogs for dinner, followed by old-fashioned s'mores for dessert.

"Come and get it," he called, hobbling to one side to make room for Jack to fetch the trays.

Jack grinned as soon as he saw the spread. His eyes glimmered with pleasure as he looked at Daniel. "Living room picnic, huh? Sweet."

He carried the trays, implements, and goodies into the living room and set everything out on the coffee table and hearth. Then he went into the den to fetch a hassock for Daniel's seat, pulling it up close to the fireplace where he could lean over and reach the flames with his skewer.

Daniel used the walker to help lower himself to the hassock, his damaged leg stretched out to one side. He speared a couple of franks and started roasting them. Jack sat down on the other side of the hearth and stuck a skewer through a closed bun, toasting it over the flames while Daniel watched him with a grin.

After a few minutes, Daniel could tell by the reduced number of lines in Jack's face that he had made the right choice.

They "camped out" in the living room and told stories about their childhoods, fun ones that lightened both their moods and made Jack smile. It all made Daniel feel like he'd finally come home, as if sharing that simple meal with Jack meant he now belonged there somehow.

Daniel was aware of a sense of inner peace that he'd never before experienced. He began to think that, even with his changed status at the SGC, things might just turn out okay after all. For the first time in weeks, he had hope in his heart.

"This was great," Jack said softly, patting his full stomach with both hands. "Thank you. It was just what I needed."

"Yeah," Daniel agreed. "Me, too. This was fun. You've done so much to make me feel at home here, and I just wanted you to feel better, to enjoy yourself after all the work you've done for me."

He noticed a little smear of melted chocolate and marshmallow on Jack's lower lip and pointed to his own face. "Um, you've got a little stuff right there."

Jack wiped his lip and then glanced down at his sticky fingertip. He licked it off, his gaze flicking back up to Daniel's eyes. Something in those whiskey-brown depths was burning, a low flame that Daniel perceived as warmth and affection, tinged with humor. It made him feel warmer inside, too.

"It really was fun," Jack said, looking almost surprised but very pleased. "I haven't done this since I was a boy." Jack smiled shyly and dipped his head, getting carefully up from the hearth where he'd been sitting. "I'll just start cleaning up. We made quite a mess here." He gathered up the long, shiny aluminum kabob skewers they'd used to grill their franks and marshmallows, picked up the nearly empty package of franks and the bun wrapper and headed to the kitchen.

Daniel noticed how he was walking, favoring his injured side. His movements were slow, and he paused between tasks. Jack shouldn't be taking care of anyone but himself at the moment, and that made Daniel feel incredibly guilty.

A lump formed in Daniel's throat. He'd known the added burden of a helpless guest would be too much work for Jack while he was recuperating himself. Slowly, he put his things aside, stacking everything neatly on the coffee table, and then got carefully to his feet, wishing he could take the load off Jack, but knowing he couldn't.

Walker in place before him, he paused halfway across the living room to call into the kitchen. "I'm gonna turn in early, Jack. I'm tired."

By the time he made it to the ramp up to the main level of the house, his friend was beside him, standing one step back, ready to assist if needed, but Daniel had been making it up and down the ramp on his own for a couple of days now.

"I'm sorry I've been such a burden," Daniel said quietly in the foyer, glancing over his shoulder at the other man still coming up the ramp behind him, guarding him from any potential fall.

"You're not heavy, Daniel," Jack assured him, his voice a deep, soft rumble. "You're my brother. I wouldn't have it any other way."

Daniel felt Jack's hand touch his waist briefly, guiding him toward the bedroom. While Daniel took care of business in the bathroom and changed clothes, he knew Jack would be turning down the bed and turning out the lights except for the bedside lamp. He was gone when Daniel emerged from the bathroom, and as he stood beside the bed, looking down at it, he wondered if maybe it was time he moved into the guest room, or went back to his quarters on the base.

That made him a little sad to consider, because he'd grown comfortable with the feel of Jack so near. They'd been tent mates off world for years and knew each other's sleeping habits as well as any married couple. Throughout the night as they turned and adjusted positions, they brushed up against each other. Often, upon awakening, Daniel would find Jack's back pressed up against him, or one of Jack's hands touching his shoulder, his ribs or his hip as if to make sure his bed partner were still there, and still breathing.

Those accidental touches warmed Daniel, made him aware that he wasn't alone any longer, and he was reluctant to separate himself from their comforting closeness.

Maybe tomorrow he'd have a talk with Jack, bring up the move to the other room and use that as a leaping-off point to dig into whatever was bothering his friend. If it were the strain of Daniel's recovery, he was sure he could manage well enough to move back to the base and look after himself. It wouldn't be easy – there were still things he couldn't do for himself, like reaching items on the floor if he dropped something, and he knew he'd never be able to get up without help if he fell.

He sat on the bed where the covers were thrown back for him and tried to lift his injured leg to scoot back on the bed and get into it under his own power. Hot pain shot up his leg, and he cried out, groaning and panting in short, grunting breaths.

He sat there, frozen, clutching at his leg, rocking and struggling to breathe through the agony.

Jack came into the room just then, his face in full panic. "Daniel! What happened?"

"Sorry! Sorry. I couldn't get in bed by myself. God, it hurts!"

"For cryin' out loud," Jack growled roughly, his face filled with sympathy and shared pain. He reached down to Daniel's ankle and helped him lift his leg, keeping it straight as Daniel scooted backward onto the bed and swung his other leg onto the mattress. "I thought you said you could do it by yourself now."

"Obviously, I was wrong," Daniel growled right back through teeth clenched in agony. "Shit! I won't try that again for a while." He felt how twisted up his face was but couldn't relax, struggling not to whimper.

"Pain meds?" Jack carefully fitted Daniel's leg into the CPM and turned it on.

"No. I'll be fine once I can relax." He slid down in the bed, forehead beaded with perspiration, his breath coming out in tense little grunts. He struggled to keep from clutching at his leg, forcing his fingers into fists at his sides.

Jack reached over and caught the blankets with one hand, pulling them carefully over his friend. He sat for a moment on the side of the bed, then reached down and took Daniel's glasses off, placing them on the nightstand. "Let me help you, Daniel," he requested quietly. "I want to. It's no trouble, I promise. I'd tell you if I couldn't deal with things. Really."

Daniel nodded, still waiting for the white-hot lances shooting from knee to hip to lessen. He was breathing hard and sweating, and wished he were better at putting on a stoic face for Jack's benefit. At times he wondered if his leg would ever heal, but his chest wound was already much better. What had happened to his knee had required rebuilding, not just repair, and that would take longer to heal. He had to be patient with himself and learn to live with his new limitations.

He put his hand on Jack's forearm and gave him a fond pat. "I'll be okay, Jack. I do need you, but I'm determined to learn to take care of myself. I'm never gonna run again, but I'll be damned if I can't walk, dress myself and keep my own house. It's just gonna take time, and I know I'm not there yet." He squeezed Jack's arm and smiled. "You've been so patient with me. Thanks for being there. I know I can always count on you."

"Always," echoed Jack, patting him on the shoulder. "You try to get some sleep. I'll bring your meds in case you need 'em, and I'll come to bed in a little while. Okay?"

"Sure."

O'Neill rose and left on silent bare feet. A moment later he was back with a glass of water and a bottle of pills, then gone again after a quiet "good night" passed between them. Daniel turned out the lamp after he'd gone and lay staring at the ceiling, contemplating all the recent changes in his life. Once the pain receded, he closed his eyes and finally managed to doze off.

Awakening with a start, Daniel instinctively reached over to the other side of the bed, concerned to find it empty. He glanced at the bedside clock, squinting to read the numbers. It was almost midnight, long after Jack's usual bedtime.

Daniel started to worry, aimlessly rubbing the sheets where his friend ought to be. Jack hadn't looked right for a while now. He seemed a shade too gray, the sparkle in his eyes completely gone until they'd enjoyed that impromptu camp-out earlier that evening. Daniel knew his friend was healing and that Janet's prognosis for him was good. Jack would be well soon, back to his normal state of fitness... only something about him just wasn't right, and Daniel knew it was more than just the change from military to civilian status.

Carefully, Daniel rolled onto his side as much as he could and pushed himself upright, then released himself from the machine. He carefully swung his legs over the edge of the bed as a counterweight to help him sit up. Sucking in a pained breath at the movement, he turned on the bedside lamp and reached for his walker. It took him a minute to gather enough motivation to ease to his feet, straightening up slowly, waiting for the pain to slack off. It never quite did, really, but at that moment Daniel didn't care. Getting up, at least, was much easier than getting into bed.

He limped toward the door, resting for a moment on the threshold, leaning heavily against the tubular aluminum frame of his walker. The faint wash of light from the lamp made navigating the hallway less frightening, and silvery-blue moonlight was streaming in from the living room, guiding him toward the end of the long hallway.

The sound of faint music floated toward him, and Daniel wondered if Jack were watching a movie. If so, he might want some company. Continuing down the hall, he stopped at the door to the den and found it quiet and dark. He continued on his way, searching for Jack and the source of the music. Pausing near the front door, he rested on the walker again and peered into the living room.

The light of the full moon shone in through the big windows, the only illumination in the room. Daniel hesitated, startled by the scene before him. Jack was barefoot, wearing only his jeans, standing between the two chairs by the picture window, facing his reflection in the glass, his naked back to Daniel, staring out at the moonlit flowers outside on the deck table.

What rooted Daniel to the spot, what made him hold his breath and hope he hadn't been heard approaching, was that Jack O'Neill was dancing.

The song was slow and compelling, with a soft, melancholy beat like a heart breaking, volume turned down low. He recognized it and listened to the familiar lyrics as he studied the man he thought he knew so well.

Jack had rhythm. His shoulders swayed back and forth slightly, his hips swinging from side to side as he shifted his weight from one leg to the other and back again, only his heels rising from the floor. His head tipped back, eyes probably closed as he let the music and that smooth voice take command of his body.

It was a sensual song, intimate and emotionally charged. Daniel watched as Jack's hands pulled out of his pockets, those long arms swaying now around his body, expressive hands streaming through the air around his thighs. Fingers spread loosely as they moved, as if caressing something wonderful. Daniel's mouth went dry, mesmerized as Jack reached up to embrace himself, head bowed now, hips still moving in a graceful glide.

He heard Jack sigh through the quiet music, breath shuddering painfully out of him. Daniel wanted to go to him, to embrace him and offer comfort, but he couldn't move. This looked like something personal for Jack, and Daniel felt instinctively that intruding on it would be wrong. He knew he should back off, return to the bedroom and give his friend the privacy he needed. But Daniel stood transfixed, both by the romantic, plaintive song and by Jack's reaction to it.

This was a side of Jack that Daniel had never before seen, and he was intrigued as much as concerned for his friend.

As the last strains of the music faded into the dark corners of the room, Jack stopped dancing. Slowly, he dropped his face into his hands. Daniel could see him trembling and heard him take a deep, slow breath. His head tipped back, hands lowering down to his sides. In a quiet voice, Jack murmured, "God, help me get through this. Give me strength. Feels like I'm dyin' here."

Tears filled Daniel's eyes as the song started up again, automatically repeating. He gathered himself to make his way down the ramp and go to his friend, but something made him stop. This was a private moment, and Daniel couldn't disturb him. He'd intruded enough on Jack's space, into his home, and he just couldn't do it again now.

If Jack had wanted to share his pain, he'd known where to find his friend. He'd chosen to be alone in his sorrow. Whatever the problem was that he wouldn't talk about, Daniel was sure it had nothing to do with mountains of paperwork. This went deep, and rather than share it, his friend had chosen to suffer in silence, in the dark, with only the sound of beautiful music to comfort him.

Daniel backed silently into the shadows, turned and made his way slowly to the bedroom, listening to the last strains of that song as it faded and then started up again. Daniel promised himself that he would work harder on his friend, try to draw him out and get him to talk about this burden he was struggling so hard to carry alone. Even though Daniel didn't have two good legs anymore, he could still lighten Jack's load if he'd care to let his friend shoulder part of it.

Gritting his teeth and moving with great care, Daniel managed to get himself into bed again, carefully fitted his leg into the CPM, and then turned off the light. Yet as he lay in the darkness of the bedroom they shared, he could not get the image of that dancing silhouette out of his head, or the echo of the anguish vibrating as an undercurrent to the song. Jack was in pain, and Daniel wanted nothing more than to hold him in his arms until it went away.

Jack had done that for him, ages ago. Now, it seemed, it might be time to return the favor.

He listened to the faint music, worrying about Jack and wondering what to say to him. It wasn't long before the faint beat of the music shut off, and Daniel heard the soft creak of Jack's feet on the floorboards, padding quietly down the hall. He appeared in the doorway, a dark shape against the shadows of the corridor. For a moment he just hovered there, possibly trying to ascertain if Daniel were awake or sleeping.

"Hey, Jack. You okay?"

Jack moved into the bedroom, heading straight for the adjoining bathroom. "Get some sleep, Daniel." His voice was deep and soft, husky with emotion.

When he emerged a few minutes later, the faint minty scent of toothpaste exhaled above the bed as Jack pounded his pillow into submission.

"Are you mad at me about something?" asked Daniel quietly.

"I'm fine. Please quit worrying."

"Just asking. I've been wondering if my welcome has worn out, and you just didn't want to tell me."

Jack's hand reached out and settled on Daniel's shoulder. His fingers patted gently. "No, Danny. I'm not mad at you. I'm enjoying the company. I'm not mad at anybody. I'm just... I can't talk about it. I don't know what to say."

Daniel turned his head on the pillow, looking at the black shadow that was Jack's face, moonlight streaming in behind his head, making him a dark silhouette edged in silver and blue. "Try, Jack. I want to know what's been bothering you. I want to help."

Daniel caught it and held it against his chest. "I know it's hard for you, but you can't let whatever it is keep eating away at you. Let me help. If nothing else, I can listen, but maybe I can help you figure out a solution."

For a moment, Jack was still. Then he moved, sliding closer, snaking his arm over Daniel's chest and resting his cheek on Daniel's shoulder. A long, shuddering sigh left him as he hugged Daniel tighter, and then relaxed a little. "I wish I could tell you, but I can't. I've tried, and I just don't have the words."

Draping his arm over Jack's, Daniel gave him a squeeze and a fond pat. "We'll talk about it later then," he offered gently. "I know you're tired. Get some sleep. We'll try it again this weekend."

" 'Night, Danny," sighed Jack. He didn't move from that position, and soon his breathing testified that he was sound asleep.

Daniel lay in the darkness, a little shook up by this closeness. Jack was a hugger and had always been so. He liked touching people. Tonight he'd obviously needed it, needed to feel close to someone he trusted, someone he knew cared about him. Daniel did that, cared for Jack without reservation. They'd been like brothers for years.

But now, as they lay cuddled together in the darkness, in bed, Daniel began to recognize that he needed it, too. He enjoyed being close to Jack. Liked it so much, in fact, that he felt energized by that contact.

He slipped an arm around Jack's ribs, very slowly pulling him closer. Daniel snuggled his cheek against Jack's hair, his eyes still wide open. If Jack woke up, he'd be hard pressed to explain this clutch, but Daniel planned to enjoy it while he could, while it was safe and Jack wasn't aware enough to protest. He sighed Jack's name as he closed his eyes, content and comforted, and pressed a small kiss against the silver hair tickling his chin.

In moments he was asleep, safe and happy at last.

29 May
The Next Morning

Out on the deck, staring out at the yard, Daniel reclined in the shade on one of the chaise lounges, taking a little break from the CPM and indoors. Jack had ear protectors on to dampen the roar of the lawn mower, working up a sweat as he cut the grass in long, neat lines. Daniel wished he could do something to earn his keep, so Jack wouldn't have to wait on him hand and foot, but until his leg was working better, he did well just getting up and down the ramps morning and evening.

Ignoring the book in his lap, he let his eyes drift over the beautiful backyard landscape, thick with trees around the perimeter.

Here and there along the base of the treeline at the back of the yard, bunches of bright spring flowers nodded their colorful heads in the light breeze. Tall splashes of blue stood up behind a tangle of feathery vines dotted with tiny purple flowers, growing right at the base of the nearest trees. Behind them was a stand of mountain ash, their new, pale green leaves winking in the sunlight. Jutting out of the woods into the grassy yard stood a scattering of variegated tulips, the blossoms painted in bold streaks of red and white. Farther back, almost lost beneath the dense canopy of trees, a group of brilliant blue primroses glowed in the shade.

He smiled as he studied the landscaping, thinking how natural the planting looked, almost hidden away in the back of the big yard, but he knew now that Jack had planted everything years back and took excellent care of the garden. The plan he'd drawn up was beautiful, with a wealth of unusual flowers, and it would be breathtaking when Jack finished making it a reality.

Daniel breathed in the pleasant scent of new-mown grass and the perfume of a myriad flowers, glad that his new allergy medicines were working and allowing him to enjoy Jack's lovely garden. His mind was at rest, content, emptied of worry about Jack, their work, or anything else.

The revelation, when it came, was like a sudden awakening that slammed into his belly. Daniel's eyes widened. He sat up, adjusted his glasses, and stared, naming off the botanicals as he identified them, making absolutely sure of what he was seeing.

Iris, vetch, mountain ash, variegated tulips, primroses, half a dozen varieties of roses not yet in bloom, cedar trees...

He turned to stare at the man mowing the yard, watching the long, purposeful stride, the muscles flexing in those long, lean arms, sweat glistening on Jack's exposed skin and staining his shabby old T-shirt.

Could it be...? Daniel turned his head to examine the vases of flowers arrayed over the deck table beside him.

His mind balked at the thoughts that now were rushing in. Those floral messages had been romantic, speaking silently of secret, passionate, unrequited love. Jack O'Neill was arrow-straight. There was no way...

Jack had retired as soon as Daniel was grounded. Was the timing just coincidental, or could it mean far more? Those flowers, Jack's retirement, his civilian status, his insistence on moving Daniel into his home, into his bed...

"Oh, my God," Daniel whispered. This mystery was adding up to something entirely impossible. There was no way Jack could be interested in Daniel as... more than a friend. Was there?

Stupefied now, Daniel continued to stare, putting pieces together, remembering little things Jack had said or done, completely innocent if taken at face value but with a different spin, there was a whole subtext that Daniel had missed entirely.

Until now.

Oh, he'd known for a long time that Jack cared deeply about him. Everyone on SG-1 was tight with the others. They were family.

Apparently, amazingly, Jack wanted to take that farther, now that he was no longer subject to military regs.

Was that the real reason Jack had retired? Could Daniel go there? Could he...

"Oh, God." Daniel swallowed hard. He turned his gaze to the book in his lap and stared at it, not seeing a word. He pictured the two of them in an embrace and that image felt warm, comfortable, good. He almost craved that, being close to Jack. They'd been sleeping together off world for years and now in the same bed for almost two weeks. Jack's body was almost as familiar to Daniel as his own, but the touches they had shared had nothing deeper than friendship connected to them. Now, though, Daniel wasn't so sure.

He pictured himself kissing Jack. Imagined holding him while they kissed. Imagined holding him naked.

His heart was pounding in his throat. He swallowed it down, trying to figure this mess out, trying to be sure of his facts. Did Jack want him? For sex?

Something stirred in his groin, leaving him half hard. Chills of fear, excitement, and dread skittered along his arms and shoulders. He shook his head, remembering, heart pounding in his throat, aware of the sweat that had broken out on his face.

"I can't do that, Jack," he murmured aloud, staring at the book. Images from the distant past made him shudder, made his stomach flip over and tie into knots. "Jeez, you want us to be lovers? I..."

He lifted his gaze back to the man with the mower.

Jack O'Neill.

The man who had stood by his side and saved his ass so many times he couldn't keep count. The man who had pushed him to train harder, react faster, doing his best to keep Daniel alive in the heat of battle. The man who refused to leave anybody behind. The man whose name was always first on Daniel's lips when anything unexpected happened.

The best friend Daniel Jackson had ever had, or ever would have.

Even in death, Daniel hadn't been able to leave him completely. They were connected on some cosmic level. Daniel had recognized that well before he ascended, and now that he was back...

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, coming to terms with this shocking revelation about the man he thought he knew so well.

"Someone's got the hots for our linguist."

"I wish I could tell you, Daniel, but I can't. I've tried, and I just don't have the words."

The flowers, conveying their own silent messages.

Jack's casual little touches, always somewhere close in the bed they'd shared for almost two weeks.

In the bed Jack had insisted they share.

Daniel's eyes grew round with certainty. Leaning back in the chaise, he closed his eyes and went back over their long history together, looking for clues to when the tide had turned, trying to piece together when Jack might have started to feel something deeper for him. He examined his own heart and the place inside it that was Jack's, surprised to find there was nowhere in his soul that didn't resonate with the echo of that name. He began to wonder if, just maybe, he might be a little bit in love himself.

"Translate the codex," he remembered aloud. Slowly, carefully, he rose and set his book aside, hobbling back indoors with his ever-present walker. He made his way to Jack's office and logged onto the internet, called up his favorite search engine and entered "language of flowers."

One by one, he began to decode the arrangements, memorizing the translations, stunned at the messages as they became clear.

I have a message for you, of true friendship.

If you love me, you will find me.

Your presence softens my pains.

You occupy my thoughts.

Devoted love.

The last two messages were:

I love you, represented by a single red rose in a bud vase, followed by a note card with a picture of a common weed known as Shepherd's Purse: I offer you my all.

Jack had certainly done that, and asked nothing in return.

Daniel bookmarked the site in his private folder and shut the computer down. He stopped by the bathroom and then lay down on their bed, thinking about this revelation. He needed to confirm it before he attempted a reply, just to make sure he was seeing things correctly. Jack would tell him, if Daniel were observant, with his eyes, with the things he couldn't say with his lips, but plainly told with his body.

Daniel was good at learning languages, and he was a long-time student of the subtleties of Jack O'Neill. It would take some time, but he thought he'd be able to read the messages clearly enough, now that he knew where to look and what he was seeing. And once he was sure, he'd have to think about whether or not he could do this. He wasn't at all sure that he could.

"You okay?" asked Jack as he came in from outside, his body glistening with sweat. He stripped off his T-shirt and headed for the bathroom, his eyes on Daniel.

"Yeah. Just thinking about some things," he replied as casually as he could manage. "How do you feel after mowing? Need some meds?"

"Tylenol, maybe. It's not bad." He stood in the bathroom doorway, shirt balled up in his hand, one leg bearing his weight. His expression was carefully guarded, giving away nothing.

"We've got the whole weekend, Jack," Daniel reminded him. "Maybe we should try talking some things out."

Immediately the walls came up behind those brown eyes, and Jack turned away. "I'll be fine," he said before he shut the door. The shower sounded a moment later.

Daniel imagined Jack undressing and stepping under the water. He'd seen the other man naked before in the base showers and never felt the slightest interest. But he was aware that that was then and this was now. This new knowledge changed everything.

Curious, scared, and more titillated than he cared to admit, Daniel got up, hobbled into the office, logged onto the internet again, and started researching gay sexual practices. He ordered a couple of books, serious academic studies, about the hazards and joys of sex between men. He blushed at the pictures he uncovered and tried to imagine himself and Jack doing those things. Some of it he could handle. Some of it he couldn't, and there were valid reasons for that.

If Jack wanted to be lovers, he'd have to accept the limitations Daniel set on the relationship. There was no way Daniel would let Jack penetrate him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to do that to Jack, either. Daniel simply wasn't sure he could be attracted to a man, no matter how hard he tried.

Then again, it had been a very long time since he'd had sex with anyone, and he still wasn't sure that was what Jack wanted. He'd have to wait and see, and avoid jumping to conclusions. If, however, he were correct in his assumption that Jack was his secret admirer, Daniel would have to be prepared to take the next step with him and see where the journey into this unknown territory took them.

31 May
The Next Day

Jack opened his eyes, all too aware of the erection announcing his need to visit the bathroom. He lay with his arm around Daniel's waist, his belly pressed up against Daniel's hip. He could smell Daniel's familiar scent, and his head was turned toward Jack, his cheek resting against Jack's forehead.

Carefully, he withdrew and unwrapped himself from his bedmate, pausing a moment to look into Daniel's relaxed face before he rose.

Daniel smiled as he dreamed, dimples flashing, and reached over toward Jack's pillow, his hand seeking him out. He slept on, restless for a moment, then sliding back into much needed slumber.

Jack rose and padded into the bathroom, willing his morning hard-on away. He relieved himself, and then, when he stepped into the shower, his thoughts turned back to holding Daniel, and he got another rock hard erection. He tried to ignore it, but the constant barrage of images of Daniel's face smiling at him made him grow painfully hard.

He put his hand to his shaft then and stroked himself to completion, remembering the night he'd held Daniel in his arms and slept with him like that. When he finished, panting and trembling beneath the hot water, he wept softly, ashamed that he felt that way about Daniel. As far as he knew, Daniel didn't have a clue what was going on with his roommate and friend. Either Daniel hadn't gotten the message, or he had and, once he realized who his secret admirer was, he'd decided not to answer, to leave things as they were between them.

It was a very big possibility that Daniel didn't want that kind of a relationship with Jack, yet didn't want their friendship to end, either. So Jack found himself stuck between friendship and love, unable to show Daniel how he really felt, but unwilling to force his heart back into the simple friendship they had shared for so long. He just had to be patient and wait for Daniel to decide what he wanted to do.

When he finished drying off and left the bathroom to dress for the day, he was aware of Daniel watching him. All morning, Jack felt the other man's eyes on him. He wondered if Daniel were looking for some clue to what was disturbing his friend, since he'd been gently nagging about that lately.

Finally, Jack had the relief of going to the base for a half day, which he stretched out into a full eight hours. It was hard on him and he was beat when he got home, but Daniel had dinner ready and made Jack rest for the remainder of the evening. He had even had both of the CPMs picked up and returned to the base during the day, so Jack wouldn't have to move the unit from their bed, now that Daniel didn't need it anymore.

All evening Jack was hard pressed to keep up his resistance, to avoid reaching out to Daniel whenever he felt the need. God, he wanted to touch him all the time now, to hold his hand or elbow when he helped Daniel out to the truck for trips to the base infirmary for checkups or therapy, to put his arm around Daniel when they sat watching television on the den sofa, or sneak his bare feet against Daniel's beneath the dining table when they ate their meals.

In bed every night, Jack wanted to pull Daniel close and wrap his arms around the man, cuddle him up and drift off to sleep together. In the mornings, when he awakened with his usual hard-on, it was a source of embarrassment for him now because his first thought upon waking was holding Daniel. Coupled with an erection, that took his mind to dangerous places, places Jack wasn't sure he could allow himself to go.

The closeness wasn't making things any easier for Jack, and he was going to have to move Daniel to the guest room or find a way to tell him the truth, if he didn't figure it out for himself soon.

That night, Jack slid under the covers with a sigh, pleased that Daniel had turned in early and was already asleep. Now Jack felt he could finally let his guard down. He scooted as close as he dared, clasped his hands behind his head, then closed his eyes. Immediately, Daniel adjusted his position, turning on his side and snuggling up to Jack. His arm slipped around Jack's waist and his cheek settled against Jack's shoulder, his breath coming out in warm, slow gusts against Jack's chin. He could feel Daniel's pajama clad leg against his, Daniel's groin pressed against his hip.

I love you, Daniel, Jack said in his mind. I didn't mean to, but I do.

His dick responded, rearing up inquisitively inside his sweat pants. Carefully, Jack lowered his right arm to embrace Daniel's shoulders and snuggle him closer. He ignored his erection and eventually it went down on its own, leaving his balls aching and unsatisfied. There was no way he was going to touch himself while Daniel was in his arms, so he'd just have to suffer blue balls and relieve the pressure in the shower in the morning.

This, Jack thought, dropping a kiss on Daniel's hair, was all he really needed. That Daniel cared for him and trusted him this much... it was enough.

He closed his eyes and slept.

7 June
A Week Later

Daniel closed the book on gay sex, now armed with enough knowledge that he could make a decision. He rose, tucking the tome carefully under one arm, and went into the spare bedroom. He hid the book with the other two he'd ordered on the same subject and sat down on the bed. It had taken some doing and careful observation, but Daniel was certain of his conclusion now. He'd intentionally feigned sleep one night when Jack had come to bed late. Daniel had purposefully cuddled up against him to see if Jack would wake him and push him back over to his own side of the bed or hold him closer, and Jack had cuddled and kissed him. That told Daniel plenty, and coupled with the boner Jack got and tried to hide, the message was pretty clear.

For most of the last week, Daniel had flirted with Jack, pouring on all the charm he could manage at every opportunity. He'd succeeded in making Jack smile and laugh, reawakening his sense of humor and restoring Jack to his usual irreverent self. Daniel had made sure to touch his friend more often, a brush of the hand across his back as he squeezed by him in the bathroom, holding onto his arm and taking a few practice steps without his walker, crowding him in bed. All of it had had the desired effect, and Jack had responded to it with delight.

Daniel knew if he wanted, he could just continue that behavior and take it no farther, but the more he thought about it, the more he knew it wouldn't be fair to Jack to have what he needed dangling forever just out of reach. Daniel needed to commit to a full-blown romantic relationship, or tell Jack that he knew how he felt and that Daniel just wanted to be friends.

The more Daniel thought about it, however, the more sure he was that he needed Jack in his life, close like this, or even closer. Since coming home with Jack from the hospital, sleeping with him every night, living in his personal space, Daniel had begun to realize that he truly was home, where he belonged.

With Jack.

If that meant kissing him and having sex with him, Daniel thought he could do that, within certain limits. As long as Jack was happy, Daniel Jackson would be happy as well. Only in the last week, since he'd made Jack smile, had Daniel truly felt complete. That told him everything about their relationship that he really needed to know.

So now he had to compose his answer to the messages he'd received. A glimpse out at the garden told Daniel he didn't have all he needed to reply, so he called up some of the local silk plant retailers and an area nursery to inquire about specific flowers he needed. When one wasn't available, he hunted online and had the other item shipped overnight, printing out a photo of the last one and waiting for his packages to arrive.

Daniel was glad Jack was at work when the FedEx truck arrived with his shipment. He hurriedly unpacked the boxes, delighted to see that everything he needed had arrived.

Cutting the last iris bloom from Jack's garden, Daniel returned to the kitchen to arrange the flowers. He washed one of the tall vases that had come from the florist's shop and put the iris in it, then added the silk flowers and tied on a used bow from one of the arrangements on the deck. He set it on the dining table with the little potted flowers to wait for Jack to get home.

Beside the arrangements he set two candles and as soon as he heard the truck pull up into the driveway, he hurried to light them and start the stereo, playing that George Michael song that had inspired Jack to dance so many nights ago. He pulled the drapes in the living room windows to darken the room.

With a last glance at the display, he hit the light switch in the dining room, leaving it illuminated mostly by candlelight.

Back in the kitchen, Daniel busied himself with finishing dinner preparations, waiting for Jack to come in and take notice.

"I'm home, Daniel," Jack called from the front door, chunking his keys onto the entry table and locking the door after himself.

"In the kitchen," Daniel shouted back, turning the oven off. He wasn't really hungry. His stomach was too full of butterflies.

He glanced at the other man as he stepped into the dining room and watched Jack's eyes go to the flickering candles and the flowers. Daniel watched him go over to the table and pull out a chair, sitting down without a word, his face a blank mask.

As the music Jack had danced to that night played softly in the background, he turned the vase in a slow circle, looking at the arrangement from every side. "It's beautiful," he murmured wistfully as Daniel limped up beside the table, leaning heavily on his walker.

A blue iris was flanked by a bunch of bright pink silk Sweet Williams in a vase beside a small potted Rose Angel, with a picture of a Venus Flytrap dangling from the ribbon around the vase.

I have a message for you. Will you dance with me? Will you smile? I am caught at last.

"This was your last iris," Daniel admitted shyly. "The Rose Angel was handy at a nursery, but Sweet William bloom in the summer so I had to get silk ones. The one in the picture... that was a little hard to come by on short notice, so I made do."

For a moment, Jack sat perfectly still, holding his breath. He inhaled slowly, letting it out in a ragged sigh. "You know, in Victorian days, the giving of flowers—"

"—Had meanings attached," Daniel finished for him. He put one hand on Jack's shoulder and gave it a little squeeze. "I know, Jack. Took me a while to figure it out, but once I translated the codex..."

"You kept quiet about it. I figured it went over your head, or you decided to leave the messages unanswered." He kept his gaze averted, reaching out and fingering one of the delicate iris petals thoughtfully. Jack couldn't bear to look at him, obviously afraid to see Daniel's expression.

"I got the messages," Daniel assured him. "I just couldn't figure out who was sending them. I interviewed the florist who made the deliveries, even batted my eyelashes and flirted my brains out, trying to get her to give me a hint, but she just smiled and told me I needed to figure it out for myself."

A tiny grin slid across Jack's face, but he still didn't look up. "Your eyelashes are a sin, Daniel. You could send a man straight to hell with 'em." His sobered as he let the flower go, resting his hand on the table, his face coloring slightly with embarrassment.

Daniel hesitated. "And then when I did finally translate the codex a few days ago, I had a lot to think about." He squeezed Jack's shoulder again, trying to encourage him. "Look at me, Jack."

When Daniel's quiet command was ignored, he slipped his fingers beneath Jack's chin and lifted it, demanding eye contact. He could see the fear plainly in those chocolate brown depths. Jack O'Neill afraid was a startling concept, and the importance of that event was not lost on the linguist. He moved closer, the walker touching Jack's thigh as Daniel stood beside Jack's chair.

Jack's face was slack except for his eyebrows, tented up on his forehead in a hopeful arch. His eyes were huge and liquid, filled with a softness Daniel had never before seen. That expression shook Daniel to the core, because he knew that, at that moment, Jack's soul was wide open to his own.

"A few days ago, I was looking around the yard at all the flowers," Daniel went on, moving his hand to Jack's hair, smoothing down to his neck. "All the ones that can grow here, that are in season, were in your yard, Jack. Same iris, same tulips and primroses, the cedar, vetch and mountain ash. 'I watch over thee.' That one should have tipped me off, but I was looking for a woman as the source. I never thought... until the pieces of the puzzle clicked." He gently rubbed Jack's shoulder. "You could have just talked to me, you know."

He hoped Jack could see acceptance in his face, and the love he felt gleaming in his eyes.

"You're a linguist," O'Neill countered flatly, his face shuttering closed. "I needed to say it just right, and words aren't my gift. I told you the only way I knew how."

Tears filled Daniel's eyes and were blinked hastily away. "I'm still not certain I'm reading all this right. I'm not sure what you want, but I'm willing to try to work it out with you."

Jack rose slowly, keeping his head down until he completely vacated the chair and stood a step away. Cautiously he lifted his eyes, glistening with fear and longing, and met Daniel's steady gaze. Without a word, Jack reached out and pulled his friend into his arms, his hands sliding around Daniel's back and shoulders, the walker pinned awkwardly between them.

"This whole thing came as a shock to me," Jack murmured, holding the other man tenderly in his arms. "I didn't figure you'd be interested in anything... intimate, and... I was afraid to go any farther. Still am. But I do want to be with you, in whatever way you want to be with me. Even if it's just this."

Daniel clasped Jack's shoulders, swaying with him in his dining room. His heart was pounding in his chest. Fear and excitement wrestled inside him, jockeying for dominance. He wasn't sure at all of what he was doing, moving purely by instinct and desperately fighting past his heterosexual programming.

Slowly, he moved his cheek alongside Jack's until his lips made contact with Jack's face. He waited a few beats and then drew farther back, until his mouth was at the corner of Jack's. The other man didn't tense up, his hands at rest at the small of Daniel's back. That touch, in that place, felt incredibly intimate to Daniel.

Jack wasn't trying to seduce him; Daniel was sure of that, but those flowers... the messages behind them... He was certain this was the proper subtext, but unsure exactly how to proceed. Jack had told him enough, but wouldn't take the lead here. Only Daniel could do that, and being given that power made Daniel love Jack all the more.

With infinite patience, Daniel grazed his lips slowly over Jack's, eyes closed, waiting for a reaction. Jack's mouth remained soft and pliant; he didn't pull away, didn't resist, didn't move in for a kiss, just stayed there, letting Daniel initiate everything. Finally he leaned away, looking into those deep brown eyes for... something.

"Is this what you want, Daniel?" asked Jack softly, shyly.

The longing in Jack's eyes made Daniel quiver with fear and desire.

"I don't know. I'm not sure what you need, Jack. I'm... lost here."

"You're not alone," Jack reminded him, his fingers moving in slow, gentle circles against Daniel's lower back. "Right there with you, buddy."

"Buddy?"

Jack's hands skimmed upward, over his shoulders to clasp Daniel's face. "I'm not sure what's going on inside me, Daniel. All I know is, when we were in the infirmary this last time, I did a lot of thinking. I know what it's like to live without you. I know how much you've changed me for the better, and I don't want to lose you again. When Fraiser said you were grounded, I saw that as a sign that my time was up, too. I wanted to be with you, helping you, taking care of you... Showing you how much I care. I need you, Daniel. I don't have a clue what all that means, but it's there."

Daniel stared at him, at the hope and anguish in those familiar brown eyes. "Jack... are you... gay?"

Jack let go and moved away, head down, hand worrying at the back of his neck. "I don't think so," he replied honestly. "I don't get turned on when I look at men. I still get a reaction when I look at women, though I try to keep that to myself since I'm not seeing anyone."

He cleared his throat and moseyed into the living room, casting glances behind him as Daniel followed along with his walker, doing his best to keep up. He stopped at Jack's side, set the walker away from him and reached for the mantel with one hand for support as he hobbled closer.

Jack took a stance by the dormant fireplace. Hands pressed against the mantel, he put his head down and stared into the cold hearth. "All I know is, there's something going on in my soul where you live, Daniel. I never... I ache to have you close to me, to just hold you. Sometimes I think about... doing other things with you, when I'm alone in the shower, or in bed with you at night. If that makes me gay, then... yeah, I guess I am." He let loose a mournful sigh.

For a moment, Daniel couldn't speak. His mind worked furiously to process all of that, tucking it in with the decisions he'd already made about all this. "Jack... are you in love with me?"

Heartbeats loud as drums pounded in Daniel's ears as he waited for an answer. He found himself wanting desperately to connect with Jack, to touch him, and reached out to lay his free hand on Jack's shoulder.

"I think so." He didn't turn around at the contact, just continued to stare down into the hearth. "Hell of a thing to happen between us after all this time together, huh? I'll understand if you... don't wanna be around me anymore."

There it was, out in the open, no secret codes, no unreadable glances, just plain unvarnished truth. Jack O'Neill had taken down all his walls, stripped himself of his armor, laid himself wide open to Daniel, utterly defenseless and vulnerable. Daniel was not going to allow this man to be hurt, not when he could prevent it. He thought he knew just the thing to convey the proper message in answer.

No flowers this time.

"I'm not going anywhere," Daniel assured him firmly, hopping a half step closer. He kneaded the nape of Jack's neck, hoping to comfort him. "I'll always want you with me, however it has to be. And I was thinking... maybe we should try kissing." Daniel felt his face heat up and knew he was blushing. "Would you be okay with that?"

Jack still didn't turn around, didn't flinch, obviously too terrified to even hope. "You sure that's what you want?"

"I have no idea." Daniel's hand settled between Jack's shoulder blades, massaging him, feeling him begin to relax a little beneath his touch. "But I think we should at least try it. If it's... If it doesn't feel right, then we'll just stick with the holding. If it's good... then we'll think about what else might be fun." He leaned in closer, bending down a little to try to look into Jack's face. He needed to see Jack's eyes, so he could read what was going on inside him, because the walls had come up again. Jack was protecting himself, putting on his armor, and Daniel wanted it gone.

"Like sex?" The question was flat, apparently without the slightest hint of interest. Jack was still preparing for the pain of rejection.

"Maybe. I'm not sure about that yet. Let's take things one step at a time."

"Good, because the whole 'sex with a guy' thing kinda has me a little... upside down inside." He turned around slowly as Daniel's arms slid around his waist, using Jack's balance to help him keep his own. "I mean... I've thought about it a lot over the last few days. Fantasized about it, but I'm not sure I could actually, you know, do it. Not sure about the kissing, either, but if you wanna try..."

Their eyes locked. At the same moment, they tilted their heads to move in – both in the same direction. As if on cue, they adjusted, once more in unison, same direction. Soft chuckles escaped them both.

"Go left," Jack suggested with a little grin.

Daniel obeyed, closing the gap between them until their lips almost touched. His eyes drifted shut, concentrating on the feel of Jack's warm breath against his lips. He looked into his heart, into that deep place where Jack always seemed to be and let go of his reservations. He pressed his mouth lightly against Jack's, feeling more than hearing the soft groan vibrating from inside the other man. At the same moment their lips parted, trembling, inviting each other inside, and Jack's tongue stroked hesitantly against his, a sweet curl of wet heat inside his mouth, the roughness of slight whisker stubble scraping against chins and cheeks.

Fire flared up inside Daniel, heating him up. He moaned into Jack's mouth, pressing harder, opening wider, tasting the rich flavor of Jack O'Neill for the first time. Daniel lost control somewhere during the kiss, his hands clutching at the other man's back and shoulders and hair, pushing him back with his body until their teeth clashed together, and Jack gave a little shout of surprise down Daniel's throat.

Startled, the younger man instantly let go and hopped back a step, bearing all his weight on his good leg. He glanced around for his walker and found it too far away to reach and struggled to maintain his balance without it, finally righting himself. "What? What did I do?"

Jack was rubbing the back of his neck. "You knocked me up against the mantle." He grinned. "Eager, there, Daniel?"

"I knocked you up?" Daniel grinned back. "Wasn't me. We haven't even had sex yet."

"And may not ever if you keep that innuendo going." Jack's smile faded. His eyes were glowing. "That was... good. I wasn't expecting it to be so... hot."

Breathing hard, libido fully engaged, Daniel nodded his agreement. "You've got an amazing mouth, Jack."

"Backatcha, Danny."

"So, now what?"

"Couch?"

"Necking?"

"Oh, yeah." He hopped over to the sofa and sat down, leaving space beside him for Jack. The older man eased carefully beside him, mindful of Daniel's injured leg. He slipped his arm around Daniel's shoulders and gazed into his eyes.

Daniel couldn't remember when he'd ever seen Jack so happy. The man was positively radiant.

Because of me, Daniel reminded himself. Because I love him, and he knows that now. Because he needs me. I'm his happy place.

Warmth filled him up inside as he leaned in for a gentle nip at Jack's lower lip. Jack kissed him soundly, his hands tender as he stroked and caressed Daniel's face and body. It felt wonderful, being touched like that, and Daniel's initial reservation at being so intimate with another man vanished abruptly. This was Jack. Daniel loved him, and as they explored this new dimension to their relationship, he decided it was something he could definitely enjoy.

The boundaries of a lifetime vanished. Daniel felt Jack's hands trembling as they touched him, so very careful with him, as if he were precious and fragile. Daniel found himself wanting to let go, to free his passions and let Jack have it, kiss him right through the couch. More than that, he wanted to fuck Jack; wanted it more than he'd ever wanted anything. His body responded, and he tried to crawl down Jack's throat, pushing him back against the cushions, pinning him down with his body.

Jack held on, his hands growing bolder, seeking and exploring every ridge of muscle and bone that he could reach. He undulated beneath Daniel, moaning into his mouth. And he was magnificently hard, his dick rubbing against Daniel's thigh through the cloth of his pants.

Daniel was on fire now. Jack lay beneath him, completely submissive, Daniel's good leg thrust beneath the sofa cushions for purchase as he climbed on top of Jack. Images scrolled through Daniel's mind at light speed: being naked with Jack in his bed; Jack spreading his legs and reaching for him; Daniel sinking himself balls-deep in Jack's ass and pounding him into the headboard.

God, how he wanted that! The need was sudden, fierce, and fiery. It was the hottest thing Daniel had ever imagined, and he pulled back suddenly, gasping for breath and starving for whatever came next between them. He gazed down into those chocolate brown eyes, waiting for a word from Jack.

Jack panted, his eyes heavy-lidded with desire, lips red and swollen from kissing.

Daniel could barely think, his fingers sunk deeply into Jack's hair.

"Something interesting seems to've come up between us," Jack whispered shakily.

Both men looked down simultaneously at their bodies squashed together in a pile on the sofa.

"Um..." Daniel felt his face heat up and eased off Jack to a sitting position. He had to tug at his pants to give his erection space, or it was going to explode. "S-sorry. I... It's been a long time since I kissed anybody. I got a little excited." He levered off the couch and went after his walker, putting his back to Jack to try to cool his embarrassment.

Jack rose and stepped around him, standing on the outside of the walker as Daniel clutched at it. The intensity of his gaze made Daniel look up. His eyes were gleaming, pupils so big there was barely a sliver of brown left. "I'm not sorry. Not about anything. I'm ready, Daniel," he declared breathlessly. "Whatever you want to do. I'm all yours."

Daniel risked a glance at Jack's khakis. The cock that had felt so huge against his thigh proved to be as intimidating as he had imagined as it tented against Jack's pants. "I'm. I'm. Um. We. You. Let's..." He shrugged, unable to form a coherent thought as he stared at the outline of that impressive erection.

Jack kissed him again, briefly but with plenty of fire. His tongue searched Daniel's mouth and made his single working knee weak. He leaned heavily on his walker and sagged against it to keep his balance until Jack's mouth finally let him go.

Daniel's whole world was literally spinning. "Damn, you're sexy," he breathed appreciatively, trying desperately to gather his scattered wits.

"Let's go to bed," murmured Jack, his voice deep and husky.

"Jack!" That came out as a startled, terrified little bleat. "I think we should take this slowly. There are things I can't do."

"Obviously," Jack returned gently, glancing down at Daniel's bandaged leg. "We have plenty of time, Daniel. Tonight, just touching. I don't figure either one of us is up for much in the way of gymnastics. Okay?"

He patted the side of Daniel's neck, his fingers curling around the nape. "Just kissing. Just touching. Just hands. I think we can both deal with that. Okay?"

Daniel nodded and led the way across the living room and up the ramp, too terrified to think, too excited to want to very much, but both men were perfectly in tune as they entered the darkened bedroom. They were horny and scared, eager to experience each other, vibrating on exactly the same wavelength. Daniel could feel it, as if he were plugged directly into Jack's body.

That though sent a spike of heat straight to his groin, and he almost came in his pants.

They headed to their respective sleeping spots and began to undress, backs to each other, clothes flying and landing in random piles on the bedroom floor. They didn't look at each other, terror setting in deeply.

When Daniel was naked, he sat on the side of the bed, breathing hard, wondering what the hell came next. His senses were on overload, his skin prickled with gooseflesh all over, his cock so stiff and swollen, he felt as if the slightest touch would set it off. He was keenly aware of every breath, every movement from the other side of the bed, and figured Jack was in the exact same state.

Daniel's heart was pounding in his chest as he struggled to get his injured leg onto the bed. He set the walker aside, pushed his body down into the bed and tried to get comfortable, but he couldn't. There was a naked Jack in the bed beside him, and he had a bum leg to work around. Daniel wanted to just climb on top of Jack and go for it, but he couldn't. Not yet.

They lay rigidly on their respective pillows, staring up at the ceiling in unison.

Daniel let his eyes adjust to the faint moon glow coming through the sheers. He had excellent night vision, but he needed to see Jack's face while they touched each other. Daniel turned and snapped on the bedside lamp, put his glasses on the nightstand, then looked over at the man who was about to become his lover. Jack was still staring at the ceiling, swallowing hard, obviously nervous.

"You sure you don't wanna do this in the dark?" asked Jack, his voice raspy with fear.

"I need to see your face, Jack," Daniel admitted, shying away from the ugly memory that threatened to break this spellbinding mood. As Jack turned his head to gaze at him, Daniel concentrated only on those intense brown eyes and the heat in them.

Daniel remembered something Jack had said in the living room, and it gave him an opening to get things started. He cleared his throat nervously. "So, you've fantasized about us having sex?" Daniel asked softly.

That though went directly back to the visuals of him fucking Jack through the mattress. He grunted a little as his dick twitched painfully.

"Yeah," Jack shot back, his voice deep and velvety in the dim glow from the lamp. "Not that it helps right now. I haven't done any research, because I figured nothing was going to happen. I never thought I'd ever be kissing you, much less touching your... ah... dick."

Said dick twitched again and demanded attention. Daniel reached down and stroked his fingers down the back of his shaft lightly. "Well, once I thought I knew what was going on, I did do some research, and I gotta tell you, I'm scared shitless," he murmured, offering a terrified little smile.

"Me, too. Been scared since I started thinkin' about all this." Jack rolled onto his side, facing his bedmate. He propped his head up on one hand and placed the other on Daniel's chest beneath the covers. His fingers moved gingerly around the wound in Daniel's upper chest, now almost healed.

Turning his head on the pillow, Daniel looked into Jack's hooded eyes. "I'm scared because this feels so right, somehow. I'm afraid I'll want more."

Jack didn't hesitate, his concerned expression softening into delight. "Then I'll give it." His hand moved slowly over Daniel's belly, across his arm, over his hand, lightly entwining his fingers with Daniel's around his erection. "I want to make you happy. I want to watch you laugh and learn to have fun. I want you to enjoy life. You've more than earned it." Their hands began to move, stroking up and down. "I want to be with you, to share my life with you, because I need you."

"Unh, Jack..." Daniel's eyes closed. He arched slowly against the pillow, head tossing slowly from side to side, losing himself in the rocking motion of their joined hands.

Jack scooted closer, pressing his body along Daniel's side. "I want to watch you come, Danny. Feel good. Feel sexy, because you are."

Daniel let go of himself, bringing both hands up to grasp the pillow beneath his head. He moaned as Jack continued the rhythm, stroking faster, squeezing harder, then all but letting go and caressing Daniel's shaft lightly with his palm. Daniel pawed at the covers, pushing them off him, kicking them back with his good leg. He lifted his head and gazed down at himself, and the big, rough hand wrapped around him, working him, loving him. He crashed back against the pillow with a delighted groan, then turned his head to look into the blazing eyes of his lover.

"Kiss me, Jack," he breathed. "Kiss me while I come for you."

Still up on one elbow, poised over Daniel, Jack plunged the fingers of one hand into Daniel's hair, roughly turning his face to meet his. Without hesitation, his warm lips came down, devouring Daniel with unleashed passion. Jack's teeth scraped his lips. He greedily sucked Daniel's lower lip into his mouth. His tongue explored every surface inside Daniel's mouth while his hand made magic against Daniel's cock.

Daniel thrust himself into that wonderful, rough grip, aware that he was losing control, that Jack was milking him, bringing him to climax and awestruck by that miracle.

He came with the force of a sledgehammer, and Jack swallowed his cry of ecstasy, kissing him so deeply he was pressed down into his pillow until he could hardly breathe.

Daniel was panting when Jack pulled away, trying to catch his breath between kisses. "Oh, that was... Whoa, Jack. Damn. It's been too fucking long." As Jack reclined against him, Daniel realized that Jack's hard cock was pressing against his hip. He smiled and reached for his new lover, eager to explore more of this new dimension of their relationship. "C'mon, get on top of me, Jack. Do it against my belly."

Jack shook his head. "I'll hurt you. You're not well enough yet."

"I'll tell you if you hurt me. Just try it. I want to see what it feels like."

O'Neill shook his head. "No, Danny. Be patient. We've got plenty of time to work all this out. Things we want to try, things we don't. It's okay to tell me no, you know."

"I know." Daniel reached down between them and grasped Jack's cock. He smiled as the other man sucked in a sharp breath at the contact. "Turnabout, then. Relax, Jack. It's our first time together," he murmured, "and I don't want either of us to ever forget it. Let me love you. I want to watch you come, now."

Jack happily obeyed with a sigh that turned quickly into huffs and grunts of pleasure, followed soon by a hoarse shout as he spilled his load all over Daniel and collapsed back onto the bed.

Daniel found himself grinning from ear to ear. He looked down at himself, streaks and puddles of semen on his chest and belly, with similar deposits on Jack's body. He lay back against the pillow and waited for the endorphins to lose their hold on his brain so he could think again.

"Wow," he whispered. "We just jacked each other off."

"Mmmmmm," Jack blissfully intoned.

Risking a glance at his lover, Daniel saw a wide, satisfied smile plastered on Jack's face.

"We just had sex," Daniel reiterated.

"Mmm-hmmm."

Daniel lowered his voice, a little embarrassed and titillated to admit, "We were fucking."

Jack's eyes rolled slowly open, and he turned his head to regard his new lover. "Tonight's the first time I've ever heard you use that word," he murmured, grinning broadly. "I think I'm gonna like hearing you talk dirty."

He rose up on one elbow and leaned over Daniel, his left hand reaching behind Daniel's nape and holding him while Jack kissed him tenderly.

Never in his life had Daniel felt so treasured, so deeply loved.

As Jack pulled away, his fingers stroked Daniel's sweaty hair away from his face. "We're gonna have to take it easy for a while, you know," he whispered. "Can't be jostling your leg all around, so you're gonna have to stay mostly still while we do this. Okay?"

"Yeah. I know, Jack." He grinned. "But once I'm well, I wanna fuck you senseless. Nail you to the mattress."

For a moment, Jack didn't move, his expression unreadable. Then a slow smile spread across his mouth and he nodded, his eyes gleaming with love. "Whatever you want, Daniel."

"It's what you want, too, isn't it?"

Jack nodded. He dragged his gaze down from Daniel's eyes to his chest. Jack's hand released its gentle grip on Daniel's neck and slid down to the middle of his chest, his fingers splaying out over his heart. "This is all I want, Daniel," he whispered. "The rest is just icing on the cake."

The thought of Jack submitting himself so completely to Daniel filled him with warmth and peace, but the stickiness gluing their bodies together was an unpleasant reminder of what they'd just done. Suddenly Daniel's awareness shifted to his skin, the smell of sex strong in his nostrils. Old unpleasant memories sprang to the surface, and he wanted to get up and bathe.

He wriggled out from under Jack with a nervous smile. "I suppose we should clean up," he observed, glancing down at the semen puddles sliding down his chest and pooling up on Jack's. "I'll be back in a little while. There's dinner in the kitchen, if you want to eat."

Jack took the hint and let him up. "I'll go see if it's turned to charcoal yet," Jack teased, sitting up.

"Hey, I turned the oven off," Daniel shot back with a grin. With a sigh of fulfillment, Daniel struggled to get out of bed with his good leg threatening to give, his limbs still not wanting to work just yet. "Wow. I never thought I'd ever be doing this. Funny thing is, I really liked it."

"Copy that," Jack returned automatically. He rose easily and went to the bathroom, flipping the light on and grabbing a washcloth to clean himself up. By the time Daniel made it to the bathroom, Jack had washed himself off and retreated to the bedroom to put on some sweats. "I'll finish getting dinner ready."

Daniel turned the faucet on and leaned his butt against the sink while he washed, rinsed out the cloth and washed again. After a moment he looked up, feeling Jack's attention on him. Jack was just standing there in the bedroom, head cocked, warm eyes aglow with love.

"I never thought this could happen," he said quietly, staring into Daniel's eyes. "I never thought I'd want another man like this. You've always seemed to have a knack for turning my world upside down, Daniel Jackson. In all the best possible ways."

"And as much as you'd like to pretend you're not a thinker, you challenge me more than anyone else ever has." Daniel beamed happily. "In all the best possible ways."

Jack came to him then and kissed him gently. He nuzzled Daniel's cheek with his nose, and then with a final smile, he turned away and headed for the kitchen.

Daniel thought about what he'd said to Jack, recognizing the truth in it. He was fairly certain that Jack had never looked at any man with love in his heart until now. From the beginning, from the crucible of their first mission together, Daniel had quietly gone about punching holes in Jack's notions about everything, challenging his perceptions and opinions, forcing Jack to see other sides to every issue. Daniel's stubbornness and determination to do things his own way had made him defy direct orders on so many occasions he couldn't remember them all.

Conversely, when Daniel was dead certain he knew best, only Jack could open his eyes to possibilities he hadn't seen, things Daniel didn't want to see. Sometimes the way of the warrior truly was the only way to go. Other times, the peacemaker should take the lead, and between them they always found the right path, or helped each other survive the error.

That was how they operated together: Daniel would follow Jack anywhere to do anything and do exactly as he was told, as long as he agreed with the orders. But when Daniel's sense of morality or opinion of the facts made him think differently, he never hesitated in following his own heart to places Jack didn't necessarily want to go. And inevitably, Jack would then follow his lead, going along to protect him, to watch his six. Somewhere along the way, Jack had fallen in love with that view, with that stubborn, determined man who blazed his own trails and listened to his heart.

Oh, Jack made a lot of noise about Daniel's waywardness, but when it came down to it, Jack had also learned to trust Daniel's instincts and believe in him, even though he'd never actually said the words to him. Jack was not a man of words, as he had said.

Daniel smiled. He knew Jack's secret, now. Jack O'Neill was a poet of silence. He was a simple man whose actions spoke for him. He would follow Daniel to hell and back to keep him safe. He had quit his job, given up the military career that was his whole life as soon as he realized he could no longer keep his heart within the regs.

That garden plan Jack had worked on with such devotion meant so much more, now that Daniel understood the messages behind the plants. Each flower was a phrase in a love letter, a living canvas painted in bold color, because the gardener could not find the words to say 'I love you' when he so desperately needed to tell the one who owned his heart.

Daniel didn't know if he would ever hear that phrase pass Jack's lips. Even in the throes of passion, no matter how deeply their relationship developed, Daniel believed Jack might be incapable of expressing that sentiment with words... but it would be written in code all around their home. Now, Daniel could translate every unspoken word, every look in Jack's eyes, every message conveyed with simple touches as they went about their daily lives.

The Jack O'Neill that Daniel had allowed himself to fall in love with was amazing, and Daniel felt he was just now truly beginning to see who he really was. Like the flower buds of the floral messages Jack had sent him, Daniel was aware of the unfolding and blooming of his own heart.

He dried off, dressed in sweats and a T-shirt, and hobbled into the dining room.

Plates were already served, and Jack was filling their glasses as Daniel took his seat at the table. He glanced at the flower arrangement he had made earlier and smiled. This was much better than he had thought it was going to be.

Jack set their iced tea beside their plates and took his seat across from Daniel. He waited for Daniel to begin.

"So tell me about this garden," said Daniel. "I'm assuming there's a reason you haven't identified the plants on the plan yet."

"Yup." Jack shoveled in the first bite of his dinner, then rose and disappeared into the back of the house for a moment. When he returned, he laid a handwritten list of flowers and their meanings down on the table and pushed it toward his lover.

Daniel chewed his mouthful of chicken enchilada casserole thoughtfully as he picked up the list and looked it over. "Who knew you were such a romantic?" he mumbled around his food, momentarily forgetting his manners.

Jack's eyes warned him. "Needless to say, you can't tell anyone about this. It's just between us."

Eyebrows lowered in concentration, Daniel barely heard Jack as he read through the flower names, their meanings and the odd little symbols drawn out beside them. "What do these mean?" he asked, pointing to one of them.

"Sun, shade, partial sun," said Jack after a few moments. "Gotta know that to know where to plant everything. Eat, Daniel."

"Oh. Yeah." He ate a little more, his left hand keeping his place as he moved down the list, carefully reading as he chewed.

Jack reached out and laid his right hand over the paper. "You can study later," he assured Daniel. "Right now, concentrate on the food. You need to keep up your strength. Got a lot of healing to do yet. And I plan to wear you out thoroughly."

Daniel glanced up at him and saw that Jack's eyes were aimed down at his plate. Warm affection filled Daniel up, and he laid his left hand over Jack's on the list. He gathered his fingers around Jack's hand and squeezed a little. As Jack lifted his eyes to meet his with a small smile, his fingers climbed over and between Daniel's until they were laced together, holding hands over the text. Daniel turned to his dinner and began to eat efficiently until his stomach was as full as his heart.

When they finished dinner, Daniel wiped his hands and mouth, picked up the list, and headed off to bed with it while Jack cleaned up the dishes. He undressed, brushed his teeth, and climbed under the covers with the sheet of paper, his walker standing beside the bed, within reach. Daniel studied, memorizing every reference backward and forward, amazed at the variety of emotions expressed so eloquently by the floral symbols.

He laid the paper aside when Jack came into the room and began to strip, this time seeming completely unselfconscious. Daniel saw that Jack was starting to get hard again, though he closed the bathroom door for a few moments while he finished getting ready for bed.

Jack made no move to touch him once under the covers. He lay on his side, his head propped up on one hand, just looking at his new lover.

"Hungry again, Jack?" Daniel teased lightly.

"Who needs food?" Jack shot back contentedly. "I've got something way better in my bed." He hesitated, reaching out to trace the line of Daniel's jaw with one fingertip. "Our bed."

The look on that familiar face was filled with reverence, and never in his life had Daniel felt so loved. He started to come up for a kiss at the same moment Jack came down to him, their lips stroking tenderly across each other.

"Wanna get some sleep?" Jack whispered as he let go.

Daniel closed his eyes as Jack cuddled up to him, boldly slipping his arm around Daniel's waist.

"Do you mind?" he whispered softly in Daniel's ear.

Daniel pulled Jack's arm tighter about him and smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way." He hesitated. "You'll have blue balls in the morning if you don't do something about that." He flexed his hip, gently bumping against Jack's revived hard-on.

"You've had enough excitement for one night already, don't you think?"

With a glance at the tent rising over his groin, Daniel shook his head. "I'm celebrating being alive," he reminded Jack with a smug grin, throwing his own words back at him. "It was your suggestion, you know. You said I needed to get laid in the worst way, and I think you were right. I'm ready for Round Two."

With a soft laugh, Jack leaned down for a kiss and let Daniel have his way with him. Twice more they made love before finally settling down to sleep, and in the wee hours of morning, Daniel awakened Jack for more. He couldn't get enough of being close to Jack, and his lover seemed to be enjoying every moment of it.

Daniel decided he wanted to do this as often as possible. After all, he had a lot of lost time to make up, including a year of being dead. Not many people got second chances, and he intended to make the most of this opportunity to enjoy the gift of love that had just landed in his lap.

8 June
The Next Day

It was almost ten when Jack awakened the next morning with Daniel's body pressed against his backside. He felt Daniel's nose touching the nape of his neck, warm breath stirring the little hairs down his spine. It made him shiver with delight, just lying there wrapped up in Daniel Jackson. He felt a huge smile widening across his face.

Warm lips pressed against his nape. "You awake?" whispered Daniel against his skin.

"Been waiting for you," answered Jack softly. "Whatcha wanna do today?"

"Walk in the garden with you," Daniel returned lazily. "What do you want to do, Jack?"

"You." Jack smiled as a silent laugh gusted against the back of his neck.

"Yeah, well, you should know up front that I've never been very good in bed. Still want to keep me?"

"I don't believe that for a second." Jack carefully turned over in Daniel's arms and looked at him, nose to nose on his pillow. "I've seen the way you handle artifacts. You're one of the most sensual people I've ever known. Maybe you've just never been with the right person. Till now."

Daniel's eyes drifted lazily closed, then slowly opened again. He wasn't smiling. "Unfortunately, it's true. I've never had much luck figuring out how to please my partners, and I've done a lot of research into the subject."

"That could be the problem." Jack reached up and stroked his hand against Daniel's face, threading his fingers into his soft brown hair, growing quickly out of the short do he'd kept the last few years.

"Hmmm?"

"Maybe you're thinking too much. Anyway, I'd say that so far, you're doing just fine." Jack felt the heat and pressure in his groin that signaled his morning erection, except that this one had real inspiration behind it. "Be right back." He got up and went to the bathroom, took a quick shower after relieving himself, dried off, brushed his teeth and headed back for the bed, minty fresh.

Daniel was already halfway to the bathroom door by the time he exited. "My turn," he mumbled, eyes on the floor. He was blushing. "Back in a few."

Jack couldn't help grinning. As soon as Daniel came back to bed, they were going to have sex. Again. There would be kissing and touching, and maybe this time they'd do something different. Maybe something more intimate than the hand-jobs they'd exchanged during the night.

He closed his eyes and imagined Daniel going down on him, and that got him hard again in a hurry. Then he thought about doing it for Daniel, and he tried to figure out the mechanics of giving a blowjob, since he'd only been on the receiving end of those, and only with a woman's lips on his cock.

God, how he wanted to do that, to take Daniel into his mouth and taste him when he came!

He sat up as Daniel emerged from the bathroom, gloriously naked, limping along with his walker. The healing wound on his chest was only slightly swelled and rosy pink, with tiny little staple holes in neat rows along the incision where the SGC doctors had opened his body up and removed the alien arrow. Jack's gaze dropped to Daniel's leg and the bright pink scars where his skin and muscle had been peeled back to install the new knee joint.

Tears prickled at Jack's eyes.

Daniel was alive. He was whole, and he was beautiful. And Jack was going to make love to him in their bed.

Daniel leaned heavily on the walker as he stopped beside the bed, his eyes averted from Jack's face. Evidently, Daniel had seen him looking at his still-forming scar and was embarrassed by how he appeared. He saw Daniel's left hand move to cover the chest wound in embarrassment as he turned to sit down on the bed.

Jack waited until Daniel reclined on his back on the bed, staring straight up at the ceiling, his face red.

"I'm so glad you're alive," Jack told him honestly, aware of his inner turmoil. "We've both been through hell, Daniel. Again. Don't you think we deserve a little heaven now?" He reached out and cupped Daniel's face in his hand, turning him toward Jack. "Looking at you makes me hard," he murmured appreciatively. "You're so sexy. I can't get enough of you."

Instant anger gleamed in Daniel's eyes. "I'm ugly with all these scars. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror."

Jack shook his head. "No," he argued gently. "Eye of the beholder, Danny. I see a hero, a man with courage like no one else I've ever known." He eased down onto his side, propping up on one elbow. "I was lookin' at you not long ago on the couch, while you were sleeping, and I saw..."

He smiled shyly. "You're a good looking man. A guy totally unaware of how sexy he really is. I saw a man who'll spit in the eye of the fiercest System Lord and take the time to comfort a scared kid in need of a friend. You're a truly amazing man, Daniel Jackson, and you don't have a clue about it. Which in my book kinda makes you even more amazing."

Daniel frowned, fiercely swallowing the grin of pleasure that wanted to break through at Jack's loving words. "Okay, so who are you and what have you done with Jack O'Neill?"

"This is the me nobody else gets to see," Jack confessed quietly. "Think you can stand a little sap? Maybe some romance? 'Cause I've got a lot of that stored up and haven't had anybody to lavish it on... till now."

"I don't need to be romanced," Daniel assured him, the frown disappearing in favor of a slightly pleased expression.

Jack grinned. "You liked the flowers."

Daniel chuckled a little. "I'll admit, aside from the sneezing, they were nice. It was a very good puzzle, Jack. Very smart."

"I can do smart. Sometimes. If I have to."

"Yeah, I've always known that."

Daniel's smile faded, replaced by a look so warm and fulfilled it sent heat all the way down to Jack's toes. "Kiss me, Jack. Don't stop till I pass out, okay?"

"Anything you want, vidámo." Jack still remembered a little of the language of the Ancients, when he worked at it.

"Vida means life," Daniel translated, "and amo means love." His brows twitched together. "Vidámo. Love of my life? Life-long love?"

Jack nodded. "Something like that." He got up onto all fours, his knees together beside Daniel's left hip, his upper body balanced on his elbows, planted on either side of Daniel's shoulders. He leaned down and stroked his dry lips over his lover's, his eyes closing in bliss. "God, Danny, your lips..."

"What?"

He could feel Daniel's mouth curving up into a smile beneath his, warm breath puffing into Jack's mouth as he spoke. It was sexy. "So hot," he murmured back.

The tip of Daniel's tongue flicked out and tasted Jack's lower lip. He groaned into Daniel's mouth as he swept down upon it, wanting to be gentle and sensual, but he was kissing Daniel and the more his mind tumbled over that idea the wilder he got. Passion for Daniel consumed him, and he stretched out on top of his lover, careful to keep away from his injured leg. Jack rubbed his hands all over Daniel's face, in his hair, down his neck and over his body. Jack could feel Daniel trembling, his body tense and still, on guard against any movement that might cause him pain.

Jack knew Daniel couldn't participate much at that point, but as long as he didn't tell Jack to stop, he was going to touch Daniel everywhere with every part of him. He kissed Daniel's face, stroking his lips over his cheeks, his eyelids, those articulate eyebrows. He nibbled along Daniel's jaw and down his throat, drawing delicious little gasps and moans from his lover. Daniel's hands fondled him, sweeping through his hair and over his shoulders and back, carefully avoiding his still-healing injuries.

Daniel flexed his chest as Jack's teeth grazed over his right nipple. Jack moaned, tantalized by the movement of firm muscle arching up beneath his mouth. "God," he gasped, suckling that hardened nub, swirling his tongue around it, grasping it gently with his teeth and hanging on for dear life. Daniel was delicious. "You taste so good," he murmured.

Heat swept through Jack, forcing a desperate grunt from him. Never had he been so delirious with desire and need. He eased downward, catching Daniel's cock in his hand. Carefully, he eased himself downward, kissing, licking, tasting Daniel all the way down his body.

"Jack," Daniel whimpered, grasping fistfuls of silver hair.

Jack raised his head and looked at his lover, asking permission with his eyes.

Daniel's head was lifted off the pillow, staring down at Jack, watching in fascination. Fear warred with need in those blue eyes, but he could see that Daniel wanted this, and badly. His tongue flicked out to moisten his lower lip, his breathing ragged and harsh.

That was a 'do me' look, if Jack had ever seen one. He turned back to that tasty body and ran his tongue along the crease between belly and thigh.

"Oh, God!" Daniel's eyes closed. His body arched off the bed, his hands in Jack's hair pushing him down toward his dick. "Suck me, Jack."

Jack's fingers wrapped around Daniel's hardened cock, pulling it toward him, and he smiled. He kissed the tip of it, running his tongue in the slit, tasting the drop of pre-come that waited there. He reveled in the delirious groan it drew from his lover. Jack inhaled, breathing in the heady, musky man-scent of Daniel's body. He pushed the shaft aside and buried his nose in the sensitive crease between cock and thigh, and sniffed greedily. This was concentrated Daniel, freshened with a slight aroma of soap, and it was intoxicating.

He licked Daniel's inner thigh, and Daniel twitched beneath him. The movement cost him, and he half swallowed a grunt of pain. "Just lie still, Danny," Jack whispered, his tongue snaking out again for another taste. He swiped his tongue across Daniel's balls and got a soft, breathless little shout for it.

Jack needed to see Daniel's face, needed to be able to watch him to tell if he was hurting him or doing this right.

"Gonna move now, Danny," he said softly. "I need you to spread your legs for me. Or at least one of 'em. Can you?" He rolled back to give Daniel room to move.

Fear blossomed in Daniel's eyes. "Don't touch my ass, Jack," he warned stiffly. "I don't want to be fucked that way."

That surprised Jack a little. "If you don't want me to, I won't," he hastened to assure his lover.

Daniel's good leg shifted over and bent at the knee. He lifted his head and looked down at Jack, hovering near his hip. There was trust in his eyes, mixed with a little fear.

"I've never done this before, but I think I have it worked out how to do it," Jack assured him softly. "Tell me if I hurt you, okay? Or if you want me to stop."

"I'm scared, Jack." Daniel's head dropped back on the pillow. He covered his eyes with one arm.

"Scared you might like it?" Carefully, Jack moved between Daniel's legs, making sure he didn't touch the injured one. He braced himself on his left elbow, pulling Daniel's left leg down and lying across his thigh to help hold himself up.

"A little," Daniel confessed with a shaky laugh.

"That makes two of us. But you can trust me. I'd never hurt you." Jack drew his gaze from the underside of Daniel's chin, down that gorgeous body to his cock, jutting upward from Daniel's pelvis. It was a deep, rosy pink, long like his limbs and fingers, thick at the base, with a scant dusting of fine blondish-brown hair around it. "I'm gonna taste you now. Suck you off. Make you feel real good."

Jack leaned down for another deep sniff and licked Daniel's balls. He was leisurely about it, caressing his tongue over that nearly hairless sac with relish, inhaling the heady scent of Daniel with each breath. Jack thought he could stay there all day, doing just that, and be perfectly happy. He tightened his abdominal muscles, slowly thrusting his own cock against the sheets.

"That feels soooooo goooooood," Daniel moaned. "God, Jack..."

"You smell good," Jack told him. "You taste good." He laved all over Daniel's balls, up the back and sides of his shaft, keeping his left arm rigid and still so he didn't bump Daniel's injured leg. He listened attentively to the sounds Daniel made while he tasted him, feeling Daniel's pulse beating against his tongue and lips through his dick. This was wonderful, this intimacy, and Jack felt himself relaxing into it, his thrusts against the sheets harder and faster, rocking the whole bed with his rhythm.

He felt like a starving man, holding his sustenance in his hand, and licked his lips. Jack rocked Daniel's dick toward him and took it in, as deep as he could get it, his lips covering his teeth to protect Daniel's delicate skin.

"OH!" Daniel cried, his body jerking on the bed, immediately followed by a sucked-in breath and rigid stillness.

Jack knew instantly what that meant. Daniel had jolted his leg and was suffering. For a moment Jack didn't move, waiting for the pain to recede a little. Carefully, gently, he pressed his tongue against Daniel's shaft, stroking and swirling it all around that hot, hard flesh. He felt Daniel's body begin to relax, distracted now by the pleasure he was giving with his mouth.

He opened his eyes and risked a look at his lover. Daniel's head was turned toward the windows, lit with morning sunshine. His eyes were closed and his mouth clenched in a firm line, just beginning to soften. His fingers were grasping handfuls of the sheet underneath him, as though he needed to anchor himself. Jack slid back, almost letting go of Daniel's cock, then swallowed him again.

"Ooooooohhhhh," groaned Daniel happily. "Don't stop, Jack. That feels so good."

"Mmmmmm," Jack agreed heartily. He smiled around a mouthful of dick, remembering the rumors he'd heard around the base regarding the latest meaning of the slang word, 'hummer.' He decided to save the humming for later, once he'd gotten a little more adept with giving blowjobs, and just try to master the basics at the moment.

He closed his eyes and let sensation rule; taste, smell, touch, sound all sweeping him away. The more he sucked, the more he wanted, thrilled with the feel of Daniel's cock gliding against his tongue and lips, the taste of him in his mouth. Daniel's reactions inflamed him, excited him until he was humping the sheets with the same rhythm Daniel's cock thrust into his mouth. He felt Daniel gathering himself, tensing up beneath Jack's body, until he jerked on the bed, his hips forcing him down Jack's throat.

Suddenly Daniel was coming, writhing on the bed, his breath coming out in short, sharp little gusts, hands still fisted in the sheets. Jack was intoxicated by Daniel's orgasm, and found himself pushed screaming over the edge. Jack came against the bed, groaning and thrusting and dazed, so light-headed with euphoria he could barely see.

The hot splash of Daniel's come against the back of his throat almost made Jack gag, and he instinctively pulled back, just a little. His mouth filled with a strange, musky, smoky flavor. He held still, his tongue pressed against Daniel's shaft, waiting for the last spasm to pass. His mouth was watering, filling up, and he sucked off the last drop of fluid, making sure he didn't let any dribble out. He held the mouthful on his tongue, tasting it, and found it growing sweeter, bolder, almost like...

Jack swallowed quickly and let out a startled little laugh.

Daniel raised his head. "What? What's funny?"

Grinning madly, Jack crawled up beside him and lay half across his chest. "Your come tastes like blond coffee, Daniel," he teased. "Sweet and creamy. I think you're drinking way too much of the stuff."

"It does not," Daniel protested, obviously disbelieving his lover.

"Kiss me and find out," Jack teased with a smug grin.

"Ewwww. That's gross!" Daniel made a sour face.

"What, you've never tasted your own come on a kiss before?" Jack was shocked. He was particularly fond of that after a good blowjob.

"I can barely remember that far back, Jack. It's been a while, you know, and I already told you sex wasn't one of my better skills."

"Well, then, you've got a lot to learn about the art of making love, Danny," Jack told him with a sated smile. "Lesson number one: kissing after a blowjob is erotic. Especially when your come tastes like coffee."

Jack leaned down toward his face.

Daniel turned away and put up his hands. "No, thanks. I think it's time to get up."

"Daniel." Jack's voice was low and commanding, gentle but insistent.

Daniel turned over and faced his lover.

"Lesson number two: Immediately after sex, there is cuddling and kissing. C'mere." Jack moved over to his side of the bed and patted the mattress. "Watch the wet spot. I'll change the sheets in a minute."

Daniel's frown relaxed and he moved slowly, carefully over to Jack's side of the bed. He sighed as he lay back on Jack's pillow. "Better?"

Jack slipped his arms around him and nodded approvingly. "Better." He leaned down for a kiss, which Daniel hesitantly gave him.

"Mmmm," hummed Daniel into his mouth.

When Jack drew away, a smug grin on his face, he watched the tip of Daniel's tongue slip out to wet his lips. "Cappucino," he said with approval. "I taste good."

Jack beamed. "Yes, you do, Daniel. I wonder if you're caffeinated."

"Well, not yet. Coffee does sound good, though."

"I'll go make us some. You hit the shower, and I'll be back when the coffee's ready." Jack eased off the bed and stood up.

He helped Daniel to his feet, fetched the walker from the other side of the bed for him and let him go with a brief, sweet kiss. Jack started the coffee and came back to strip the bed and put on clean sheets. He washed himself up in the half bath off the spare room to give Daniel his privacy in the master bathroom, then dressed in the sweats he'd brought with him. When the coffee was brewed, he poured them each a cup and returned to their bedroom, staying nearby while Daniel dressed.

After breakfast they went outside to plan their day and strolled around the garden together. It took a little time for Daniel to make it all the way to the back forty with his walker, but it was good exercise, and he didn't complain. He wanted to see all the plants up close with Jack by his side. The only other time he'd been this far out in the yard was when he'd come out to cut the last iris the previous day.

"It really was a brilliant plan," observed Daniel fondly.

Jack followed his gaze to the stand of broad, flat iris leaves protruding from the ground at the treeline, the remaining flower now on the kitchen table. "Well, you are a linguist," said Jack proudly. "I figured the language of flowers would be a cinch for you to learn."

"'Translate the codex,'" Daniel repeated with a grin. "Breaking the code wasn't easy, but you gave me all the clues I needed. All I had to do was open my eyes."

Jack looked into those big blue eyes, so filled with love and happiness, and the view sent his heart soaring. "You always see more than anybody else, when you're really paying attention, Daniel. Nobody else in the world would have gotten constellations out of those glyphs on the cover stones. That's because you see with more than just your eyes, big guy. You see with your heart."

Daniel stopped walking. He tugged on Jack's hand and started to kiss him, then glanced around, realizing they were outside, in plain view of the neighbors. He put his head down. "That's the most beautiful thing anyone's ever said to me, Jack." He leaned closer, blushing, his voice barely audible. He tried to untangle his fingers from Jack's, apparently suddenly conscious of where they were.

"You're not ashamed of me, are you?" asked Jack a little hesitantly.

"No. I just... the Air Force—"

"I'm not in the Air Force any more, remember?" Jack took Daniel's face in his hands, stepped up close to him and kissed him soundly. "I can be who I want to be and love who I want to love. And so can you. If the Air Force doesn't like it, they can kiss our bisexual asses." Jack grinned, pleased with his statement of the facts.

Daniel smiled back, his nose crinkling up, dimples popping out everywhere, and shook his head. "You know, I loved the old Jack, prickly and cantankerous as he was," he said with a sigh, "but I think I'm gonna be happy for the rest of my life with this one."

"I hope so, Daniel, because I'm gonna do my damnedest to make that happen. I need to see you smiling as much as I need to breathe."

Daniel shivered, still grinning. "Ooooh, God, you're a poet, too? Damn, where have you been all my life?"

Jack's hands slid around to cup Daniel's nape tenderly. "Right in front of you, Daniel. Waiting for you to see the real me. You're the only one who ever has."

He leaned in for another coffee-flavored kiss and took a deep, satisfied breath, inhaling the scents of hyacinths, daffodils and Daniel Jackson, and knew that the most important flower in his garden had finally bloomed.

FINIS

Next: The Language Of Flowers