Pearls Of Wisdom 3

The Quiet One

by Lady Grey 

The island was shrouded in mist and low clouds. Heat and humidity made Daniel's clothes stick to him and mosquitoes buzzed around him despite the breeze coming off the water. The ferry docked and began to release its passengers, the archaeologist waiting until most of them had passed by him before debarking. On the pier he spotted two Chinese officials both looking more than a little anxious. One was a woman formally dressed in traditional Chinese garb; the other was a middle-aged military man in full dress uniform.

They recognized Daniel and waved him closer, the woman jumping a little with excitement.

"Dr. Jackson! This way, please," she called.

He approached them cautiously, aware of the people streaming by them in that very public place. Smiling, he paused long enough to return their gracious bows of greeting and to participate in formal introductions. He felt the weight of his baggage pulling against his arm and wondered again how long this excursion was going to take. The Chinese government had given the SGC little information; only that a recent earthquake had opened a secret chamber beneath a statue in a temple on Putuoshan Island and its contents fitted the markers that the SGC had given them as Goa'uld provenance. The Chinese were understandably hesitant to go any further, fearing what they might find if they disturbed the artifacts.

When they were safely ensconced in a car and motoring their way to the temple, the archaeologist asked about the find.

"The statue of Quan-Yin has been in place in that temple for thousands of years," Dr. Xi-Ying Tan explained, leaning one arm over the front seat so she could face him. "It appears to have been carved out of the mountain floor, so it was never disturbed. The earthquake toppled it, opening a crack in the floor of the chamber that houses the goddess." She smiled, her dark eyes lighting up with enthusiasm. "The chamber beneath is lit, Doctor. One can see the canopic jar beneath the statue's base but we were uncertain if there might be protection devices within, so we left it alone. We have closed the temple and stationed guards to prevent anyone tampering with the site."

"Did you say, canopic jar?" he asked, frowning.

Dr. Xi-Ying nodded, her eyes growing serious. She reached into a briefcase and handed over some color photographs for him to study. "As you can see, the style is Egyptian, though the writing is Goa'uld."

"This is Meretseger," he told them. "She was the goddess of the necropolis at Thebes."

"And unusual in that she was worshipped only there, by the workmen of the tombs," Xi-Ying added. "She was a protection goddess, watching over the tombs of the dead to guard them from grave robbers."

Daniel's eyes roamed over the elegantly carved head of the jar, remembering where he had seen ones very similar in appearance. The Osiris jar had been intact, but the Isis jar was damaged and the symbiote housed inside died shortly afterward. This jar appeared intact... which could mean another live symbiote awaiting discovery. "It's a good thing you waited," he told them. "I've seen jars like this before and you don't want to open them. Trust me on that."

"What is it?" asked General Tso nervously from the driver's seat.

"There may well be a Goa'uld inside," Daniel said, still studying the photographs. He had only a partial view of the jar and couldn't translate the inscription completely. That would come later, once they had it someplace safe and secure. Very, very secure.

"I'll need some kind of case to carry it back to the SGC," he advised. "My government will probably want to send a military escort for it. Your government is welcome to assist and to sit in on the unsealing, when we get to that." He gave them a tight smile and handed the photos back. "But I warn you, it'll take a while. We do a lot of study before we tamper with these things."

"Of course, Dr. Jackson," General Tso agreed. "Knowing what we do now about the Goa'uld, you are wise to be cautious. I will provide you with military support until your people arrive."

"Thank you."

The rest of the journey was undertaken in silence. Daniel looked out the car windows until they parked at the base of Mount Pataloka. A long series of steps cut into the mountainside wended its way upward, past greyish white boulders jutting out of the green landscape. His legs ached a little by the time he got to the top, standing in the shade beneath a short hallway roofed over to protect pilgrims from the weather. Before him was a gigantic crack in the black mountain, no more than ten feet wide at the base and narrowing as it went upward into the rock.

A paved floor beneath his feet extended into the crack, cut out of the heart of the mountain. As Dr. Xi-Yin told him, Chinese soldiers stood on guard at the entrance and higher up the cliff face there were several more. The interior of the crevasse was dark but Daniel could see a rift in the floor starting just outside the entrance. The two sides of the floor were split open, revealing the heart of the mountain beneath their feet.

"Have you had any geologists up here to determine if this place is safe?" he asked nervously.

"We are still waiting for approval," the general informed him. "Things take longer for us in the East but we are a patient people."

"Yes," Daniel agreed drily. He looked up at the rough rock walls as he stepped between them, careful where he put his feet. Watching the floor, he walked first on one side of the narrow chasm and then on the other, wherever there was better footing.

In the distance he could see the light from the hidden chamber, filling the altar area with a warm amber glow. The statue was tipped at about a 45-degree angle, balanced precariously against a knob of rock sticking out from the wall behind it. Dr. Xi-Ying and General Tso stood to one side, watching the American scientist work, ready to help if asked.

Daniel squatted down beside the hole in the floor, studying the construction of the chamber, alert for any sign of booby-traps. It looked innocent enough, the square sides of the hole decorated in both Egyptian and Chinese text and pictures. Pieces began to fit together but the puzzle was still incomplete.

"I'm guessing this chamber was built by Lord Yu," he announced. Lying on his belly, he put his cheek to the cold stone floor and examined the bottom of the statue, then checked the interior of the hole for any indicator that it might be rigged. There were no apparent triggers. "I think it's safe. I'm going to reach inside for the jar."

Slowly, he extended his left hand into the space beneath the statue. He could feel the sweat beading on his face, some of it running in rivulets across his upper lip and forehead. This wasn't hard work but it was very tense. Any misjudgement could lose him a hand - or worse.

Carefully, he reached into the chamber until his fingers just touched the alabaster surface of the canopic jar. It was cool and smoothly polished. His hand slid slowly down the side of it until he could get a grip on it. With infinite patience, he withdrew the artifact from its prison and with a sigh of relief, he rolled onto his back and sat up, taking his first good look at it. Reverently he cradled it in his hands, head bowed over the beautiful, ancient sculpture.

Lord Yu's official symbol, his "chop" as the Chinese called it, was inscribed on the front of the jar. He smiled and pointed to it as Dr. Xi-Ying came closer and knelt beside him, eager to see. "I was right. Lord Yu placed this here. We've never heard about any rival System Lords in the Asian area but with Egyptian roots, it could be any-"

A soft mechanical hum sounded. Dr. Xi-Ying glanced upward. General Tso shouted a warning. Daniel started to move, to turn toward the noise but he was too late. He felt a flash of heat against the back of his neck and then nothing.

* * * *

He opened his eyes to a view of concrete floor. By his posture and the assembly holding him up, he knew he was in a hospital. To each side of him were curved chrome rails and he could feel a band of fabric across his forehead, holding his head in place. Other than that, he couldn't feel much at all.

"Hello," he called. "Is anybody there?" He repeated his summons in Mandarin.

A pair of white shoes came into view. He tried to look up but knees were as far as his field of vision would go.

"Dr. Jackson, you're awake," a woman's voice answered, speaking in perfect Mandarin. "That's very good." The woman, probably a nurse, squatted down to make eye contact. "We've contacted your people in America and there's a plane with medical staff on the way to take you home. They're at the airport and should be arriving here in the next couple of hours."

"How long have I been out?" he demanded. "What happened?"

"I don't have all the details, doctor," she answered. "You'll have to wait for Dr. Lung or your Dr. Fraiser for more information."

"Why can't I move?" he asked, suddenly aware that he couldn't feel his hands or legs.

"Please be patient, sir," the nurse advised. She stood up, leaving his view and began to make adjustments to the machine that held him captive. "Are you in any pain?"

"My name is Daniel," he told her, trying desperately not to panic. "Please call me Daniel."

"Of course. Are you in any pain, Daniel?"

"Uh..." He searched his body for sensation. "Headache. The back of my neck hurts but that's all. I can't feel anything else."

"All right. I'll talk to your doctor to see if we can do anything about the pain. Be right back."

"No, wait!" he called. "Don't leave me alone, please."

The shoes disappeared anyway. It seemed like forever before they came back. "I'm injecting morphine into your IV, Daniel. That should help you feel better soon."

"Please don't leave me," Daniel begged. "I'm scared. I've seen these contraptions before and I know what they're used for. I've got a spinal cord injury, don't I?"

The shoes were very still. The woman in them shifted her weight uncertainly from foot to foot. "Yes, Daniel."

"How bad is it? You can tell me. I need to know. Dr. Fraiser will tell me anyway."

She hesitated. "I'm sorry, Daniel. You're going to have to wait for the doctor."

Her tone of voice, the sorrow in it, told him everything he needed to know.

"Oh, God," he whispered. Memory was coming back now, incomplete but enough that he realized what must have happened. Removing the jar triggered some hidden Goa'uld device that had fried the back of his neck and now he was paralyzed. He would never walk again. He would never have the use of his hands again.

He might as well be dead.

* * * *

Jack walked into the room, smoothing down the jacket of his dress blues. He'd been at some damned official function at the mountain when word came about the accident and he insisted on going with Dr. Fraiser and the rest of his team to collect Daniel and the artifact. Carter would be in charge of disarming the device in the cave and he and Teal'c would provide security for that Goa'uld jar on the way home. Dr. Fraiser and her nursing staff would take charge of Daniel and see that he was transported comfortably back to the mountain.

From the moment he saw his lover in that giant hamster wheel, he knew without being told just how bad it was.

Daniel's head and shoulders were exposed to view. He lay facing the floor, his head and body supported by straps and a big hammock fastened inside the circular rims of the support device. Kawalski had been in one of those on the base after that Goa'uld got into him, as much as a method of restraint as to make access to the back of his neck possible during surgery but Daniel didn't need surgery to remove a snake.

There was a black patch at the base of his neck. Thick layers of gauze soaked with saline solution lay plastered over the wound and every few minutes a nurse would come by and re-wet the cloth. He watched in horror as Dr. Fraiser lifted the gauze with gloved fingers, peering at the wound.

Skin and muscle were charred black. Vertebrae were exposed to view. The damage was horrifyingly severe.

Jack closed his eyes, struggling not to make a sound. There were tears in his eyes. He turned and left the room, stumbling against Carter and Teal'c just as they were about to go in.

He pushed past them, lurching against the nearest wall for support. His breath was a harsh rasp in his ears, blocking out all other sound. Thoughts wouldn't congeal, distorted by the shock blanketing his mind. All he could see was Daniel.

Hands touched him. He shook them off, straightened and tugged his uniform jacket into place. Instinctively he adjusted the dress hat slightly skewed on his head. Those small, familiar movements helped Jack pull himself together and in a rush his surroundings registered. His teammates were staring at him. Doctors and nurses passing in the hallway shot worried glances his way.

Straightening up, Jack tried to say something but his voice wouldn't work. He shook his head in answer to Carter's inquiry. No, he wasn't all right. After seeing his lover in that state, Jack thought he might never be all right ever again.

* * * *

"How are you feeling, Daniel?" Janet asked solicitously. "Ready to go home?"

"Tell me if it's permanent," he ground out. "I know it's bad, Janet. Just tell me."

She looked down at the charred flesh and exposed bone. The glistening white cord that should have been there was gone, the vertebrae forming an empty chamber at the base of his neck. No medicine they had available -- aside from finding a sarcophagus -- would heal this injury.

"I think you already knew when you asked me that," she answered gently. "Didn't you?"

"Quadriplegic?"

She swallowed hard and laid the gauze back in place. "Yes. We can fit you with one of those chairs that does everything, like Stephen Hawking's," she offered hopefully. "There's still a lot of work you can do for the SGC. Research-"

"No," he cut in sharply. "Is there a possibility of infection?"

Janet had already been apprised of all the measures that the Chinese hospital had taken so far. With injuries this severe, it was an enormous possibility. They could still lose him. She nodded and then remembered he couldn't see her face. "Yes. Your condition is still critical."

"Then since I can't put my signature to anything anymore, I want to set up a verbal DNR, Janet. If it gets bad, just let me go. No heroic measures. Don't try too hard to save me. Okay?"

She turned away, motioning to the nursing staff to get started with preparing her patient for transport. Her mouth was set in a determined line but there were tears in her eyes as she supervised the nurses at work. She knew how Daniel was, how important it was for him to touch things with his fingers while he worked on them. This would destroy him, little by little and she had taken an oath to preserve life. She had watched him die once, unable to help him at all. Her heart was on the fence with this one but she could not just let him succumb to the inevitable illness that would follow.

He would just have to help her fight this battle, whether he wanted to or not. Daniel Jackson was worth it and she was going to help him find some way to survive with a reasonable quality of life. His team would be with her on that, she was sure.

* * * *

Teal'c sat with the box between his feet, staring at the stretcher just in front of him in the belly of the airplane. He could see the soles of DanielJackson's bare feet, unnaturally pale and still. His teammate's body was a landscape of hills and valleys under thick blankets, barely looking like anything human. Dr. Fraiser sat by his head, trying to get the linguist to talk, wetting his bandages, checking his pulse and temperature; doing all the things a doctor should do.

Periodically she would inject some medication into the tube running into her patient's vein but DanielJackson remained sullenly silent.

He knew.

Teal'c was sure of that. The Jaffa had watched his friend ascend after the radiation poisoning ravaged his body, in awe of what it took to achieve that feat but then, he had always believed this man was special, that there was some great destiny awaiting him. Now, it seemed, that greatness would be denied.

He looked down at the box between his feet; aware of what lay inside it, locked away from the world. If a symbiote was inside the jar, as the archaeologist suspected, it might have the power to heal him but what it would take from him would be too great a price to pay.

Still, the Tok'ra could remove it, once its work was done.

It was a chance but he knew DanielJackson would rather die than take that chance.

Teal'c mourned silently for his friend, his heart in his throat, tears in his eyes and he was glad that DanielJackson could not see him. He was not a man who wanted anyone's pity. That was part of what made him so strong.

DanielJackson was unbreakable in Teal'c's estimation. He would find a way to go on, to make something of his life, because that was the kind of man he was.

A warrior.

Teal's sat up straighter and blinked the tears from his eyes. He was proud to call this man his friend, his brother. He would not be weak when Daniel needed him to be strong.

Dr. Fraiser looked up and met Teal'c's eyes and he saw her determination gleaming back at him. Lifting her chin, she gave him a little nod and a smile. They would help DanielJackson, because they were his family.

Because they loved him.

* * * *

Carter had tears streaming down her cheeks as she left the infirmary room that was now Daniel's new home. She looked angry, her lips pressed firmly together. Eyes flashing, she met the colonel's gaze as he headed in for his daily visit at the end of his shift.

"Tell him no," she growled. "He's gonna ask you, too. He'll push you hardest, sir, and you can't do it."

Jack didn't respond. He had some idea what she was so angry about but the subject hadn't come up yet. Apparently, Daniel was tired of waiting. He'd survived the inevitable infection with astounding ease, his body putting up quite a fight for survival but his mind...

Daniel was upright in his cage when Jack strolled into the room. The colonel flashed a smile as he grabbed a stool and hauled it closer. "Hey, Daniel. How's it goin'?"

The archaeologist's eyes followed him, looking down beneath his lashes. His eyes were smouldering, his mouth drawn up into a soft pout. "Same as yesterday, Jack. Bored out of my skull. How was your day?"

"Just got back from some sandy, god-forsaken planet or other. I'm bored shitless, too. Wanna play some chess?"

Glancing up at the mirror that gave Daniel a view of his entire room, he saw that they were alone. His expression changed to wistfullness. "Would you... would you kiss me, Jack? Please?"

O'Neill got up, went over to the door and locked it. He eyed the camera aimed at the bed, took a pillowcase from a nearby stack of linens and threw it over the lens. "We won't have much time," he told his lover. "Fraiser keeps a sharp eye on that monitor. She'll be banging on the door in two minutes flat."

"I don't care," Daniel said softly. "I need you. I need to feel you, Jack."

Mouths met hungrily, devouring each other. Jack's hands clasped Daniel's face. "This tears me up inside, Daniel," he whispered, "and I can't let anyone see it. God, how I miss touching you."

"Jack," Daniel whispered between kisses, "don't make me live like this. I can't."

Angish and rage surged up in the colonel and he turned away just as someone knocked on the door.

"I won't kill you, Daniel," Jack growled. "I can't. You **know** that."

"I'm dying anyway," Daniel assured him hotly. "This isn't living. I'd do it myself, if I could. I'd do it for **you."**

Jack wrenched himself away and headed for the door. "I can't kill you, goddammit," he shouted, his soul turning inside out. "And if you ever ask me again, I'll stop coming here to see you."

Daniel didn't say anything.

The door opened and Jack looked down into a pair of furious brown eyes. "Colonel, I will not tell you again-"

"I know, doc. I was just leaving."

From the middle of the room a low growl grew into an ear-splitting howl of frustration and rage. Daniel stopped long enough to take a breath and then started again. Jack felt his blood sink into his feet at that sound.

Fraiser was furious with her patient. "Daniel, stop that this instant! You're not doing yourself or anyone else any good."

Jackson ignored her.

Her glare intensified, standing in front of him, arms akimbo. "I will sedate you, if you make it necessary." She had to shout to be heard.

Daniel only got louder. He stopped suddenly, coughing and choking, gagging and gasping for breath. Janet's expression changed to one of concern and she approached the bed, penlight in hand.

Jack looked up in the mirror at the man, struggling to breathe. Struggling to live. That was not a man who really wanted to die and Jack knew it.

He stepped aside to let the nurses in to assist Fraiser in taking care of her patient, watching as they worked on him. Once they had Daniel stabilised and sedated, the colonel slipped away, heart burning with anguish at the cruel trick fate had played on such a vital man.

Had O'Neill been in that situation, he'd have made the same request and he knew it. He also knew his friend well enough to believe that, despite Daniel's claim, he would not have done anything to rectify the situation if their places were reversed. Daniel would have found some way to keep Jack's mind occupied, making life bearable.

And that was just what Jack intended to do for the man he loved.

* * * *

"Any luck with those inscriptions yet?" Jack asked, sliding the next photograph into view beneath Daniel's face.

"Luck has nothing to do with it, Jack," the archaeologist returned. He was aimed at the floor again, rotated into a new position every so many hours to prevent bedsores. Daniel eyed one of the characters, concentrating hard.

"It's interesting," he said conversationally. "The Egyptian goddess, Meretseger, was considered a goddess of mercy and compassion, just as Quan-Yin was in China, so there's definitely a connection between them. They may have been the same person, in fact. However, unlike any other Egyptian deity, she is shown as capable of absolution for the repentant, in addition to great wrath for sinners. None of the other Goa'uld gods that we've discovered have that particular attribute. Mercy is alien to them. They were just as unstable and whim-driven as the Olympian gods."

"And this means what?" Jack asked with apparent interest.

"I don't know yet. Any results on the canopic jar from Sam's tests yet?"

"Oh, yeah. There's a snake in there, all right. Looks intact, too. Hammond hasn't decided whether or not to open it yet. Wants to be a little more sure who's inside first."

"So they're waiting on me," Daniel surmised. His gaze shifted to another photograph. "The inscription indicates that 'she' displeased Lord Yu greatly and was sentenced for all time to live in dreams. I think the term 'she' is significant - it's definitely a character indicating that the being is female. Jack, I think this could be a Goa'uld queen."

"Then we'll have to be extra careful," O'Neill agreed. "They're dangerous bitches. We probably ought to have female staff only working with her. It. Whatever."

"If she's got that same pheromone thing, we're immune to it," Daniel reminded him. "Remember what Hathor said?"

"I'm not sure I'd trust a Goa'uld, even with the truth."

Daniel didn't reply, his eyes darting from photograph to photograph, showing every face of the canopic jar. Reference books were spread out on the table all around the photos. "Jack, turn to page 622 in Larousse. The big red book at four o'clock to me."

Jack reached for the book and turned to the page. "How you remember the page numbers just astounds me, Daniel. You got some big honkin' brain."

"I have a lot of these books almost memorized," Jackson assured him flatly, concentrating on the reference. He mumbled aloud as he read, his eyes zipping across the page. " 'Born of the fountain, floating on a lotus blossom to shore...' Hmmm." He looked at another book. "No mention of the fountain there, just the lotus. Jack, see if you can find any images of Quan-Yin. I want to see how she's depicted. I know, this could take a while."

Dutifully, the colonel flipped through the indexes of the books, laying out page after page of representations of the Asian goddess of mercy. Daniel looked at the pictures, waiting for something to click. When it did, he couldn't breathe.

"Daniel? You okay up there?" Jack bent down, craning his neck to make eye contact.

Daniel's gaze shot to meet his. "Jack... I think this is Egeria's daughter. Look at the pictures of Quan-Yin... there's a fountain in almost all of them, and fountains were Egeria's providence. I think Quan-Yin's a Tok'ra and not just any Tok'ra... a **queen.** Do you understand what that means?"

"More Tok'ra?"

"Jack!" Daniel felt like he needed to explode. There was so much energy inside him, more than he could contain. He needed an outlet. He needed to wiggle but he couldn't. "This is great! You've got to contact the Tok'ra. Maybe they can verify this find for us."

The colonel was silent for a long time.

"Jack?"

"Just thinkin', Daniel," he said softly, "about options." He paused. "I'll go tell General Hammond." He got up slowly and disappeared from Daniel's view.

Daniel remembered Sam's ungainly attempt to use the healing device on him. They had a little success - he re-grew enough flesh to close the hole in the back of his neck, which gave him a better chance at survival. He had already thought about the 'options' Jack hinted at so obviously and he had rejected them. It would be a long, difficult ordeal as it was, just healing up from the injury. If he became a Tok'ra host, it would be faster. There was even a slim chance that he'd get his mobility back but then he'd be sharing his mind with one of those... snakes.

Every part of him rebelled at that idea.

He'd rather be... like he was than a host, even to a Tok'ra, one of the good guys... but the more that notion streamed through his mind, the less horrible it became.

That frightened him. He didn't want to be a host. That was what had taken Sha're from him and if he gave in, the Tok'ra would take him from his home, his friends, his life. It wasn't a deal he could make.

He returned to studying the pictures and references, looking for as much proof as he could find to support his theory.

* * * *

Jacob's face was grave as he examined the canopic jar. He glanced away at the symbiote swimming in a tank nearby, extracted by the Tok'ra under the supervision of the Tau'ri. Two other Tok'ra stood by the tank, studying the creature as it danced in the water.

"This is Quan-Yin, goddess of compassion," General Carter confirmed. "She was born Meretseger, daughter of Egeria, who fled to the East from the wrath of Ra. She lived humbly for a time, helping mankind and teaching the wisdom of mercy and forgiveness, until she was captured and punished by Lord Yu." His head dipped and his voice changed as Selmak took control. "We assumed she was killed. All records indicate that he had her cut into a thousand pieces and cast to the four winds. We are immesurably pleased that she has been found alive." He bowed to General Hammond, who stood nearby. "The Tok'ra are greatly in your debt."

"What will you do with her, Selmak?" Hammond asked. "I'm assuming you'll be searching for a host as quickly as one can be found."

"Of course," Selmak assured him. He bowed his head. Jacob came up smiling. "This is a great day, George."

"Selmak!"

Jacob turned at the strident address from one of his Tok'ra aides. He glanced at the tank and saw what had caused the alarm. The symbiote was no longer swimming around the tank. She was straightening out, spasms rippling through her serpentine body. "Oh, God," he breathed.

He turned panicked eyes to Hammond. "George, we need a host. Right now. We don't have time to get her back to our base. She's going into shock and if she doesn't blend with someone ASAP, she'll die. If you can't find someone, Selmak will make the sacrifice." He swallowed hard. "It could kill me, too."

Sam stood nearby, her face set. She put a hand on his arm and squeezed. "I'll do it, Dad."

"Wait," Hammond ordered Major Carter gently. "I think there's someone else we should ask first." He glanced at Jack, standing quietly in the background. The colonel eyed him for a moment and then slipped out of the room without a word.

* * * *

Daniel heard the door open behind him and glanced up into the curved mirror that gave him a complete view of his room. He watched Jacob, Sam, Teal'c, Dr. Fraiser and General Hammond come in and gather around him, faces drawn. "What is it?" he asked. "What's happened?"

"We opened the canopic jar successfully," reported Jacob, "but the shock to the symbiote's body after such a long time in stasis is beginning to show. We need to find her a host right now." He glanced at Hammond, then back at Daniel. "We thought we should give you first say."

Daniel's initial instinct was to say no but he kept his mouth shut. The door opened again and he saw Jack slip inside, stepping just inside the door. Leaning against the wall, Jack stuffed his hands in his pants pockets, his head down, looking at the floor. That was all the opinion O'Neill was going to express. This had to be Daniel's decision and his alone. He didn't have much time to make it, now that the situation had become critical.

"Is it a Tok'ra, as I suspected?" asked Daniel tensely.

"Yes. Meretseger, as she was known in Egypt, Quan-Yin in China," Jacob answered quietly. "We thought she was long dead, Danny. The fact that she's been discovered alive is the greatest single event in Tok'ra history. We can't afford to lose her."

There it was, laid out on the table. Urgency was an electric current in the air, charging everyone in the room. He had to choose.

"Can she heal me?"

Jacob's head dipped and Selmak answered huskily, "It will take time and great effort, Daniel, but yes. If you accept the symbiote within you, you will walk again. If you do not..."

"I'll take her," Sam finished for her father. She gave him a brave smile. "Don't feel like you have to do this, Daniel."

The archaeologist clenched his teeth. His lips turned white, pressing together hard in anger and resentment. He hated this contraption that was his whole world. He hated being hand fed, having someone change his diaper every few hours, being totally unable to do anything but think and talk. He wanted to walk - hell, he wanted to run! The simple act of turning the page in a book by himself was almost erotic and if he let this opportunity pass him by, he knew for certain it would never come again.

"You would also be saving a life, DanielJackson," Teal'c murmured quietly. "The symbiote will die without a host."

Daniel's eyes moved up to his old friend's face and saw the quiet admiration there. "All right," he growled. "I'll do it. Go get the damned thing."

Jacob released a pent up breath and smiled with relief. "Be right back, Danny." In seconds he was back in the room with the Tok'ra aides behind him, carrying in the container filled with water where the symbiote floundered in obvious distress. Jacob reached into the container, gently grasping the creature's snake-like body and tenderly lifting her out with both hands.

Daniel looked at the slimy creature in Jacob's grasp. He blinked tears from his eyes so he could see it clearly. He was terrified but he wanted to see his fate coming.

"You sure you want to do this, Danny?" Jacob asked again.

"Just do it before I change my mind," he ground out.

"Open wide."

Daniel's eyes went automatically to Jack's face, pale and drawn, standing in the back of the group. Jack looked away, at the floor, so he wouldn't see it happen.

The creature raised its head wearily and Jacob inserted it into Daniel's mouth.

He tasted fish, smelled the odor of an aquarium in need of cleaning. Slick flesh slid across his tongue and then sharp, burning pain at the back of his throat made him gag. His teeth closed reflexively but the creature moved fast, already in him, burrowing its way into his throat, up his spinal column, into his brain. He could feel it moving and then suddenly, nothing, the pain only a flash of memory. His head felt full and fuzzy and there was blood on his lips and tongue.

He spat the fluid out. Dr. Fraiser wiped his mouth with a small wet towel.

"How do you feel, Daniel?" she asked him.

"Fine, just..." His head lolled back against the fabric of the hammock that supported him when he was on his back. "...exhausted all of a sudden."

"Just relax, Danny," Jacob said soothingly. "Don't fight it. You'll both be just fine. Rest, now."

Daniel closed his eyes. He slept, dreaming of Egypt. He saw the pyramids when they were new, gleaming in the amber light of the desert sun. He saw Ra in all his splendor, ruling over his court of human slaves, flanked by lesser gods and goddesses. Hathor with her flaming hair stood at his side, smiling and cruel in her beauty. In the distance a fountain flowed, and sitting beside it was a beautiful woman with long, dark hair and dusky skin and as beautiful as the night.

**Mother,** he thought happily.

**Do you see, beloved?**

--Quan-Yin?--

**I have had many names. Meretseger. Mertseger. Merseger. Mereseger. Padma-pâni. Avalokiteshvara. Miao Shan. Quan'Am. Quan-Yin.Kannon. Kanin. Tara. Which one pleases you?**

--None of them and I don't really want you here, you know.--

**I sense great sorrow in you, beloved. How may I help you to heal?**

--Just leave me alone. I did this for purely selfish reasons. I want to walk again. Can you do that? Can you heal me?--

**I will try, beloved, but first I must rest. I must gain my strength before I may share it with you. Will you be patient with me?**

--I don't exactly have a choice, now, do I?--

**There is so much pain in your soul, my sweet one. Give me time and I will help you heal. Thank you for saving my life. I know it was not your wish to do so. It is a tremendous sacrifice you have made for me and I shall try to be worthy of the great honor you give me.**

--Yeah, right, and I've got some swampland in Florida I can sell you.--

Daniel opened his eyes to the room full of people. He searched the faces, all of them familiar except for the two Tok'ra in the background. Somebody was missing and Daniel's eyes shifted up to the mirror, looking over the whole room.

Jack was gone.

Just as Daniel expected. He sighed. "We're okay," he reported. "She's resting now but we had a... conversation. She thanked me for saving her life."

Relief flooded Jacob's features and the other Tok'ra let out pent-up breaths. "Oh, that's good news, Danny. That's great news." He turned to Dr. Fraiser. "We'd like them to remain here for a few days, until Meretseger gets her strength back. It's going to take a while for her to heal Daniel; maybe as much as a couple of months but during that time we'd like to conduct interviews, as soon as she's able to talk with us for reasonable periods."

"Of course," Janet responded with a smile. "Perhaps you can help us with prognosis and care instructions. I'm not at all sure what to expect here, Jacob. Any help you can give..."

"It will be our pleasure," Jacob assured her. He took a deep breath, his chest puffing out with pride, eyes sparkling as he turned them back to Daniel. "A queen! I can't tell you how important this is to the Tok'ra!"

"Whoopee. I'm a queen," he snarked morosely. "Not exactly the package I'm sure she had in mind."

"Let's not worry about that now," Jacob returned, stroking Daniel's hair fondly. "We're concentrating on getting you back on your feet. Sound good?"

**"That** I can deal with," Daniel shot back tensely. "The rest of it... I don't know. This may not be a permanent relationship, Jacob. You might wanna start looking for another host, just in case. A female would give you the widest range of options."

"Sure. Sure. We'll talk about that later." Jacob's grin widened. "A queen! Goddamn, I can't believe it. I'm so proud of you, Danny."

Daniel shifted his gaze to the floor. He wasn't happy with any of this. However, aside from a very slight headache, he couldn't tell anything at all had happened.

That would change when the snake in his head recovered enough to want to talk and when that happened, he was going to be one very unhappy archaeologist.

* * * *

**Daniel dreamed of the desert, pale and silent under an indigo sky filled with stars. The ground was rough-smooth beneath bare feet, still warm from the sun. The city of the dead stretched out to the horizon, still and soundless except for the soft swish of feet in the sand. This was his favorite time, when no one was about and there was peace.

A sound made him turn, the rough scrape of stone on stone. In the black shadows near one of the new tombs, there was movement and then another scrape, followed by whispers. He turned toward the noise, his heart filling with quiet anger. He knew who was there.

Grave-robbers, seeking treasures meant for the dead.

He stood in the moonlight just outside the opened door and waited. Soon enough, three men stepped stealthily out, hugging the shadows, their arms filled with gold, incense and perfumes. He waited, still as a statue, until they looked up and saw him and then he raised his left hand, a gold ribbon and fingertips winking in the moonlight. Three quick blasts, just enough and the men cried out, reaching for their faces.

"Blind! I'm blind!" one of them cried. "Have mercy, great Meretseger! I will repent my sins if you will be merciful. I beg you, mercy!"

The other two staggered off into the night, bumping into things along the way, dropping items one by one until they had lost all their stolen booty. One of them stepped on a scorpion, which stung him repeatedly. The other came too close to a coiled asp, which struck him as he passed by.

"You will respect those whom you have violated?" he asked in a feminine, soft voice.

"I will and I shall raise a monument to your compassion, great one," the man vowed.

Daniel raised his right hand and stepped closer, healing the damage caused moments earlier.

The thief looked up at the goddess Meretseger and fell at her feet.**

Daniel watched in horrified fascination as the thief gathered up all the loot and carried it dutifully back inside the tomb. It was as if the memory was his own but he knew it wasn't. The Tok'ra symbiote was still sleeping and he was sharing her dream.

Curiosity prodded him. He wondered what other things he might learn. If he could get at some of the knowledge the Tok'ra withheld so obstinately from the Tau'ri, they might actually start getting somewhere. Granted, Meretseger's knowledge was obsolete by a couple thousand years but there was still much to be gained and if he could sneak into her dreams without trying, there might be a lot he could discover while the beast slept.

He busied himself with finding ways to touch that alien mind without waking it.

* * * *

**Have you enjoyed your journey, beloved?**

--Don't call me that. My name is Daniel.--

He felt a distinct pang of hurt at his rude reply and knew it wasn't his own emotions rippling in his soul. That slight pain had to be the snake's. He wasn't expecting that, the bleeding over of emotions between them.

--So, do I feel what you feel, too? We share emotions? Is that part of the bargain here?--

**Yes, Daniel.**

She remained quiet after that.

He felt a little guilty. --Are you feeling better?--

**It is kind of you to ask. I do feel better. Still very weary. Are you not hungry?**

--Hadn't thought about it. I tend to ignore that sort of thing if I'm busy.--

**And you have been very busy.**

He felt what seemed like a smile, though he knew symbiotes couldn't do that, especially not plugged into his brain like it undoubtedly was. A distinct sense of warmth and pleasure seeped through him, and the snake was the only possible source. That just felt... weird.

--So you knew what I was doing?--

**Yes, Daniel. I allowed you to explore my mind, my memories. I look forward to learning about you as well. If you will allow it.**

--And if I don't?--

Sadness settled over him, holding his heart like a warm hand.

**It is your choice. I will not force you to blend with me, be-Daniel.**

--Why do you call me 'beloved'? You don't even know me. How can you feel any sort of affection for me?--

**Because I understand what a sacrifice it is for any of your kind to offer to host mine. That takes great courage and strength. It takes compassion for others and a deep well of understanding. That is the kind of person I can easily love and I do care for you. I care for all of your kind and the suffering you have endured at the hands of my people.**

He felt embarrassed by that honest praise. He really hadn't given her a chance because he didn't want to learn to like her, or to appreciate her on any level. If he did that, it would be harder to let her go, to let her choose someone else. He needed to be glad to be rid of her when the time came.

He looked around for a nurse and found her at his back. "Um, Ms. Painter, when's dinner?"

She glanced up with a startled smile. "You're hungry? That's great. I'll let Dr. Fraiser know and we'll get you something sent up right away." The nurse stepped to the phone on the wall by the door and made the call. "Are you feeling better?" she asked after she hung up, coming around front to check the IV tubing and rotate The Rack, as Daniel chose to think of the machine that was his prison, into an upright position.

"From the neck up, I feel fine," he answered casually, with only the faintest trace of bitterness. "The rest of me, I don't know about." He paused. "Meretseger is hungry. I have to keep her strength up."

Nurse Painter smiled a little. "That was a noble thing you did, Daniel. The Tok'ra are very grateful."

"Yeeeaaaah." He frowned. He felt guilty about all the praise he was getting. His motivations were purely selfish and nobody seemed to be paying attention to that at all.

**It is thus with most who agree to host the children of Egeria. Only rarely have any come to us whole and healthy, requesting to join with us but we are pleased to help.**

There was that damned mental smile again.

--Tell me about those who did.--

An image of a beautiful young Egyptian woman filled his mind. She knelt before Egeria, her gown transparent in the desert sun. She smiled and opened her mouth to receive the symbiote and the memory cut off abruptly. Daniel guessed Meretseger was protecting him from the view a symbiote saw during the moments of implantation.

**Nenet was my first host, Daniel. She was a princess, well educated, deeply spiritual. We were happy together for many centuries.**

--No sarcophagus?--

**It destroys the soul. Surely you know this, sweet Daniel?**

--So when she was old, you found somebody else.--

**No. Ra grew angry with us and we were forced to flee. Nenet aged well under my care...**

A spear of grief shot through him. He gasped. "What the hell was that?" he asked aloud.

"Daniel?" Nurse Painter came to stand in his view. "Are you okay?"

His brows scrunched down over his eyes. "Uh, yeah. I was just having a conversation with... you know..." His eyes rolled slightly, trying to make up for the lack of hands that should have been waving in the air.

"Oh." The nurse went back around to the monitors against the wall.

**I am sorry, Daniel. I tried to shield you from my grief for Nenet. I loved her.**

--Yeah. Right.--

His disbelief was apparent in his mental tone of voice. The burden of grief lifted but did not fade completely. Meretseger continued with her tale.

**We fled to the East and in my travels I found a man who was kind to all he met.**

The image of a homely middle-aged man came to mind. His clothes marked him as Indian, draped in folds of white cotton, his bare feet dirty and cracked. Many of his teeth were gone but he was smiling, always smiling.

**This was Sanat.**

A sensation of great joy blossomed within him briefly, crowded out by Daniel's rush of cynicism and hatred.

-- I thought your kind only chose beautiful people as hosts.--

Pain gripped his heart and then was shuttled quickly away, leaving him empty and cold. Something quivered inside him and he thought it was the snake. Hatred surged through him. He felt violated.

**I will trouble you no more, Daniel. I will retire into silence, that you may be at peace while you heal.**

Daniel felt a little lost for a moment, uncertain exactly what had just happened. Probing for her conscioiusness, he couldn't find a trace of her in his mind or his heart.

--Meretseger?--

There was no answer.

His food arrived and he dutifully ate his meal, tolerating being hand fed by Nurse Painter, wishing Jack would come to pay him a visit. His lover had been unaccountably absent since the implantation and Daniel was sure it was because of the snake.

Daniel chatted with the nurse during the meal and when he had cleaned the plate, he felt incredibly weary. Painter wiped his mouth, brushed his teeth for him and adjusted The Rack into a reclining position so he could sleep. He closed his eyes, searching for his hitchhiker but she had closed herself off from him completely, as if she had vanished from his body.

Sleep stole up on him and when he woke sometime later, he went hunting her again.

He sighed.

-- I hurt you. I'm sorry.--

He found that was true. Even if the thing was a parasite, she still had feelings and was a sentient being. He had no right to treat her as if she wasn't.

-- I'd like to share something with you, Meretseger. I want you to understand why I feel the way I do about... all of your kind, regardless of... political beliefs.--

Daniel felt no response whatsoever. It was as though the creature had completely abandoned him. That worried him a little.

* * * *

"Morning, Danny," Jacob said cheerfully as he strolled into the room. "Did you two have a good night?"

"I have no concept of time anymore, Jacob," he shot back irritably. "I don't even know what day it is. They won't allow me to have clocks or calendars in here."

Sadness deepened the lines in the older man's face. "I'm sorry. I know this has been incredibly hard for you, Daniel. It'll get better soon, I promise."

There was such quiet joy in his dark eyes. His hope touched Daniel and he felt shame rising in him again. His prejudice really wasn't helping things. In fact, it might have done irrevocable damage.

"How is our little queen? Has she adjusted to her new environment?"

Daniel cleared his throat. "Um... I think she's okay. She... uh... she stopped talking to me last night."

Jacob frowned. "Is she all right? Does she need medical attention?"

"Physically she's fine. I think I'd know if she was sick. Wouldn't I? Or would she have to tell me that?"

"You'd know it. You'll feel what she feels and vice versa. You're one, now." A look of genuine wonder lit up Jacob's face, softening into a little smile.

Daniel's mouth drew up into a pout as he considered that. "I don't think that's happening. I can't feel her at all and she won't talk to me."

Something dark clouded Jacob's face. "What happened between you? You should be blended by now."

"Yeah, well, I still don't really get that concept, Jacob. We've been talking. She's been sharing... memories with me." He hesitated, forcing himself to look the other man in the eye. "I... um... I insulted her. I think I hurt her feelings."

"Oh, for cryin' out loud!" Jacob threw up his hands, took a step away and then turned back, eyes flashing with incredible anger and disapproval. "Dammit, Daniel, what the hell were you thinking?"

"I guess I wasn't. I'm just pissed off by the fact that I no longer have any use of my body and I wasn't being very nice. So sue me," he pouted fiercely. "She'll get over it."

Jacob caught his hands behind his back and leaned in close to Daniel's face. "Do you know **anything** about this remarkable being, Daniel? Her history, who she is? Because I think if you did, you'd treat her with a hell of a lot more respect than you have so far."

"Quan-Yin, goddess of compassion," Daniel snapped. "Yeah, I know who she pretended to be when her kind ruled the world. So what?"

Carter's hand caught his jaw in a vice-like grip, his eyes flashing with rage. "We called her the Quiet One," he growled back. "For centuries she never spoke with her own voice, because she hated taking control from her host. The only hosts she's ever had felt privileged to be with her, asked for her to join them and were glad of it forever afterward. She's the Tok'ra equivalent of Buddah, Daniel. The closest thing we'll ever have to a saint, the most spiritually enlightened mind among us. That's who you hurt, you little shit, and you damn well better be nice to her from now on. Got it?"

"Let me go, dammit," Daniel seethed, angrier than ever.

Jacob's finger jabbed toward his face. "You'd better find a way to make amends, Daniel."

"I tried already," he shouted back. "She's cut herself off from me. I can't find her."

The Tok'ra's mouth pressed into an angry line. He glared at Daniel. His head dipped and when it came up, his voice had changed, his eyes calm. "You have suffered greatly, Daniel. She will forgive you in time and you must be receptive to her. Please, think about this opportunity. Jacob did not hesitate to offer himself as her host and I would willingly sacrifice my life for hers, as would any of the Tok'ra. We are few now and she is more important to us than you can imagine. Not only because she is a queen. That..." His expression softened into genuine awe. "...is the smallest thing that makes her important to us. She is..."

His mouth worked but no sound came out. His eyes filled and tears rolled unheeded down his cheeks. He smiled, his face alight with joy.

His head dipped and Jacob's hands came up with his chin, wiping his cheeks dry. "This is important, Daniel. Just try. Please. No matter what you said to her, she's busy working on healing you, I can promise you that. Take care of her. She needs you, more than she'll ever let you know."

Jacob swallowed hard and stepped closer, his voice dropping to a hoarse whisper. "I can tell you this, son. Once you've really blended, once she's a part of you, you'd rather die than lose her. I can't imagine living without Selmak. I'm... I'm not lonely anymore."

For a moment, he just stared into Daniel's eyes.

And then he was gone.

With a sigh, the archaeologist closed his eyes and tried again to find his internal roommate.

* * * *

Daniel heard the door open and turned his head on the pillow. "Hi, Jack," he said hesitantly. "Haven't seen you in a while. How've you been?"

The colonel sauntered in, passing the nurse on the way out, giving them a few moments alone. Jack's eyes were on the floor, glancing up guiltily as he approached. He toyed with the stool before hauling it up next to the infirmary bed. "Busy," he answered guardedly. "We've been running a lot of missions lately. Saving the world and all that. How're **you** doing?"

Looking down at his hands, neatly arranged on the blankets at his sides, Daniel concentrated. "Watch this," he called. One of his fingers twitched, just the tiniest little movement. He grinned. "Pretty cool, huh?"

Jack should have been beaming and yet he wasn't. "Yeah. That's great, Daniel. I'm happy for ya."

"Which is why you're smiling from ear to ear and doing the Snoopy dance," Daniel returned, frowning. "What's wrong, Jack? I thought you'd be excited. I'm off The Rack and in a real bed. I'm getting better."

"And you've got a snake in your head!" Jack blurted. He turned away and rubbed at the back of his neck. "Sorry. I didn't mean to say that." He sat down on the stool again, his hands still clasping the seat.

Daniel sighed. "Yeah, you did, Jack and yes, I do. But without being reminded, I'd never know I was a host. Haven't heard a peep from her in two weeks."

"It peeps?"

Mouth hitching up on the right side, Daniel sighed wearily. "She, Jack, and no, she doesn't peep. I should be able to talk with her in my head and I can't even tell she's there. I hurt her feelings and now she won't talk to me. She's working her snaky little butt off, trying to fix me and I can't even thank her."

"She's MIA?"

"Oh, she's there, all right. My finger's proof of that," Daniel pouted. "Makes me feel guilty as hell."

"Maybe that's what she wanted in the first place." His sour expression spoke volumes.

Daniel shook his head. "No, she was actually... kind of... nice and I was an ass."

Jack's hands finally let go of the seat beneath his buttocks and dropped into his lap. He made eye contact, his expression wistful and then looked away. "I miss you. Sorry I haven't come to visit more often. It's just... hard."

"I'll be on my feet again soon, I think," Daniel assured him happily. "Back on the team before you know it."

"No, you won't," Jack snapped.

"What?" Alarms went off inside the scientist's head.

"Jacob and his boys are taking you with them tomorrow. You're apparently well enough to join the Tok'ra ranks." Jack was slumped on the stool, staring at the floor, the picture of dejection.

"I don't want to go. I want to stay here. I belong on Earth, Jack. With you."

Jack's eyebrows lifted and he sighed resignedly. "Except you're not just you anymore. You're a Tok'ra and they keep to themselves. So they're takin' ya."

Panic shot through the younger man. He tried to move, to get up, to fling the covers off but only succeeded in twitching a little here and there. "Jack, you can't let them take me. I don't want to go!"

"Well, I don't see any way you can stop 'em, Daniel. They own you now." He got up and slung the stool back in place against the wall, angry now and stomping toward the door.

"Jack, wait!" Daniel called.

He watched those familiar, beloved shoulders disappear through the door and the nurse came back in as the colonel left.

Daniel smacked his head against the pillow in frustration. He knew it was too good to be true. Now it was apparently time to pay the piper for his cure. He just hoped they could locate a secondary host by the time the queen had finished her job.

* * * *

Jacob stepped into the room, his jaw twitching in leashed anger. "I don't suppose you've spoken to her yet?" he asked flatly.

Daniel shook his head. "Still getting the silent treatment." Resentment against the Tok'ra filled him. He watched the two Tok'ra aides preparing the stretcher that they would use to carry him off-world. When they were ready, Dr. Fraiser peeled the blankets off him with a sigh and a frown of disapproval.

Sam and Teal'c were there, brave smiles on their faces but Jack was nowhere to be seen.

A wave of dizziness swept over him as hands slipped beneath his ankles. His head drooped and he felt it come up again. The voice that came out of his mouth was not his own, alien and throaty.

"Do not take us from this place," Meretseger ordered gently. "I beg you, Selmak, my brother. Let us stay."

Jacob offered a polite half bow after the look of surprise left his face. "You know we cannot do that," Selmak returned. "You will be safer with us, my sister."

"My safety is of no concern to me," Meretseger insisted gently. "Daniel's happiness is. He must stay here, with those he loves. Please."

Sadness darkened Jacob's eyes. "I am sorry, my queen. There are... things we must discuss. Things that affect many more than your host and his friends."

The Tok'ra lifted Daniel off the bed and arranged him gently on the stretcher. Janet covered him with the blankets and Sam came to help tuck them in around him. She bent down and placed a kiss on Daniel's forehead, wiping away tears as she came up.

"Get well, Daniel," she whispered.

Janet smiled down at him, her nose crinkling up. "We'll see you soon," she offered hopefully, "and you'll be walking, I'll bet."

Teal'c grasped his hand and gave it a squeeze, the gesture and his eyes saying everything.

Daniel could feel the warmth of the Jaffa's hand pressing against his. He felt a pounding in his head and recognized it was his heartbeat making his pulse increase. He was panicking, helpless.

"Selmak, I beg you," Meretseger cried huskily. "Have mercy on this one, my brother. He needs to be here."

Jacob looked Daniel in the eye. "You have not blended with him, my sister," Selmak intoned. "How can you know what your host needs?"

"He does not wish it and I will not force him," Meretseger declared hotly. "I will not leave him empty when I must sacrifice-"

Daniel felt his mouth stop moving. He saw the accusation in Jacob's eyes, the disapproval and silent rage, his face set, turning away. Leading the way out the door, the Tok'ra aides lifted the stretcher and carried Daniel out of the infirmary.

" 'Bye, Daniel," Sam called softly. "We'll miss you."

He barely heard her. "Jacob," Daniel called, his voice his own again. "What did Meretseger mean? What sacrifice?"

Without breaking stride or looking back, Jacob answered stiffly, "As soon as she's expended the last of her energy making you well, she plans to leave your body, Daniel. She won't have the strength to blend with another host. She's killing herself to help you and staying out of your mind so you won't miss her when she's gone. We need to be someplace where we can at least try to save her. If that's even possible, now."

Daniel's head dropped against the pillow. He stared up at the ceiling as it rolled past his field of vision, unable to believe what he'd just heard. Yet somewhere in his heart, he knew it was the absolute truth.

He closed his eyes, regret stabbing his heart like a hot knife.

"I'm sorry, Meret," he whispered. "God, please talk to me. I'm so sorry."

Something warm and sad blossomed inside him. He hoped. "Meret?"

There was only silence and that bittersweetness that held him so tenderly in its grasp. Daniel resigned himself to his fate, looking for Jack as he glanced at the people they passed in the corridors. The Tok'ra carried him into the gate room, standing near the control room windows while the gate spun up to their destination. From his vantage point Daniel could see upstairs and turned his head to scan the faces looking down on him.

Jack stood beside General Hammond, his face composed into an expressionless mask. Their eyes met and held and there was not a flicker of emotion showing in them. Daniel concluded that whatever Jack might have felt for him once was gone now he was a host. He might one day walk again, might one day have some semblance of a life but it would be existence spent mourning the love of a lifetime, now gone forever.

Daniel aimed his eyes at the ceiling and waited to leave his world and all he loved for what might very well be the last time.

* * * *

The sunshine felt warm, relaxing his muscles like melting butter. There were Tok'ra bustling all about the ancient palace, many of its walls crumbling with age. A week earlier, the place had been deserted but upon his arrival at the underground base, the remaining council members decided his recovery would take place faster in pleasant surroundings.

This world had been explored by the SGC and discounted as having nothing useful to offer aside from some interesting and beautifully preserved ruins. The Tok'ra had been there many times since the Tau'ri discovered it and Daniel was enjoying the lovely setting. Several times a day he'd be given massages and taken to a heated pool, where he would be exercised in the water to help preserve muscle tone while his body healed. Gradually he was able to feel more sensation and his limbs became more responsive.

He ate whatever they gave him and did what they told him to do, if he was able. Occasionally one of the council would come to ask him about Meretseger but he had nothing to report. He could barely sense how hard she was working inside him, amazed at the speed of his recovery and the better he got, the worse he felt.

As soon as he was able to sit up by himself, he wrapped up in a blanket and had himself arranged on his bed, legs crossed, hands relaxed in his lap. He closed his eyes and shut out the alien world, diving deeply into his consciousness, determined to make contact. Layer by layer he dug through his mind, seeking that barren inner landscape that he rarely visited, the place where there was no movement, no sound, only stillness.

She was there, struggling to stay alert, weary beyond imagining.

--Rest, Meret. You need to rest.--

He reached into her. She tried to resist, shutting him out but she was too weak. He slid inside and enveloped her with himself, drawing her into him.

--Rest, my friend. You've worked very hard. Please, do this for me.--

Grief and sorrow flowed into him, a river of pain filling up his soul.

The depth of her caring for him left him gasping for breath. His body shook as he sought to soothe her. He felt her break, felt her give in to his gentle insistence and she lay still, weeping inside him, exhausted and utterly drained.

-- I was wrong, Meret. I'd like to get to know you, if you'll let me.--

**Daniel, I cannot. I will rest now because you ask it but I cannot live inside your mind if I am to leave you.**

--I don't want you to die. If that means you have to stay inside me for a little longer, I'll deal but I don't want you to give your life for me. Your people need you.--

**They will survive without me. They have done so for eons, while I was sleeping in the prison Lord Yu made for me.**

--That's where you're wrong, Meretseger. Let me show you what's happened since then but first you need to rest. Gather your strength and when you're ready, we'll talk.--

**As you wish, my master.**

Shock skittered through Daniel's mind at that address.

--I'm not your master, Meret, but I'd like to be your friend.--

She didn't answer. He could sense her easily now, sleeping and vibrating with soul-deep sadness. Never in his life had he imagined one of those things might be so selfless.

That they might care so very much for a human being.

Maybe Jacob had been right. Maybe this Tok'ra was special. He found he really wanted to know if that was true.

Rising up through consciousness, he opened his eyes and found Jacob standing at the end of his bed.

"She's resting," Daniel told him quietly. "God, Jacob. She really was killing herself. She was working herself to death, for me."

Tears filled the old man's eyes and were blinked away. "Yes."

"I want to help her." Daniel looked down at his hands and flexed his fingers, making a loose fist. "Have you located another host yet?"

Jacob's eyes were hard. "Any of us," he snapped. "Pick one."

Shame heated Daniel's face. "That's not what I mean. I don't want anybody to die, here."

"Then you have a decision to make." Jacob started to turn away.

"If I do this..." Daniel felt his insides clench, startled at what he was saying. "...I want to go back to the SGC."

"If you do this," Jacob shot back, "then it won't be just your decision. There are things the Tok'ra need from the Quiet One. We need to open a dialogue with her and you have to be the conduit for that, like it or not. You can either let her do her job and risk her life to give you everything you want, or you can accept the responsibility for your decision and give something back in exchange for the miracle you're getting. The ball's in your court, Daniel. Think about it."

"Jacob." Daniel heard the sharpness in his voice and knew its source. He wasn't angry. He was in anguish.

"There are things you don't understand." He sighed, struggling with how much to say. "I need to be with the Tau'ri. I don't remember being ascended but I'm sure of one thing. I came back because I couldn't do what needed to be done where I was. I... I can't..." He shrugged, unable to get out what he needed so much to say.

Jacob nodded. "I wondered if... maybe... you'd found someone, the way you held on so tightly. The way the Quiet One fought for you to stay." He sighed. "The Tok'ra are a passionate people, Danny; in some ways, even more passionate than we are. I'm sure she understands your needs but there are greater things at stake here. Whole civilisations are at risk and you can fight with the Tok'ra as well as you did with the Tau'ri. Maybe better."

"That's where you're wrong." Daniel met his eyes coolly. "My face is known well enough among the System Lords that I could never infiltrate their ranks like the rest of the Tok'ra do. I'll be more of a hindrance for the Tok'ra than a help. If I'm with the Tau'ri, I can still be effective."

"That's not exactly the issue here, though. Is it?" Jacob cocked his head.

"I can't help it if I'm prejudiced. I swore to myself I'd die before I'd ever volunteer to be a host."

"And I know why, Danny, but you made this decision because you believed she could give you something you wanted more than just living like you were. Now you need to decide whether that gift is worth the life of the person who gave you back your mobility."

Daniel nodded. He bowed his head, swallowing hard. "Then tell the council Meretseger will be staying with me."

With some effort, he managed to lay himself down on the bed. Jacob stepped up and arranged the blankets over him, stroked his hair fondly and stepped away. "Rest well, little brother," he said softly and left the warm, sunny room.

* * * *

Falling into the chair pulled out for him, Daniel worked to catch his breath. His legs ached. They were trembling from the effort of the short walk to the council chambers... but they were working again. They were understandably shaky from months of not being used but he was getting stronger by the day. Short walks provided necessary exercise to increase strength and muscle tone and exercise with weights helped his upper body return to fitness.

He smoothed down the tan suede tunic the Tok'ra had provided for him to wear, settled his glasses on the bridge of his nose and made eye contact with each of the council members.

"Greetings to our queen," said Gershon, offering a regal bow of her head.

"Meretseger is pleased to see you all," Daniel told them. "She is saddened by the losses you have experienced and we are eager to help in whatever way we can."

Selmak nodded. "We would speak with her directly, Daniel."

The archaeologist cocked his head. "She chooses to speak through me, Selmak. You know her preference in this matter."

"We would hear her voice on these official matters," Gershon insisted. "Afterward, she may speak through you."

Daniel relaxed inside. A slight wave of dizziness swept through him as Meretseger took control of his body. "Speak, brothers and sisters."

"Your host has informed you of our campaign against the Goa'uld?" asked Per'sus.

Daniel felt his head nodding but he wasn't consciously directing the movement. It felt bizarre.

"Then you know there are few of us left," Gershon added. "We have made alliances with many rebel Jaffa and this has caused a rift of mistrust between the System Lords and their armies. No new Goa'uld young are being born and the Jaffa have turned to preying on each other to acquire symbiotes in order to survive. We are manufacturing Tritonin to help as many as we can to live without them but not all Jaffa can take the drug. We cannot manufacture enough of a supply for everyone who needs it."

"I know. Daniel and I have already discussed this. We are clear on what must happen, if the Jaffa are to survive." Meretseger looked at Jacob. "As you know, Selmak, once a queen reaches maturity, she is fertililzed by any available Goa'uld males. Forever afterward, she may produce young from that single mating. I stand ready to comply, seeded by Ra himself, eons ago."

"Can this be done in the body of a human male?" Selmak asked uncertainly. "We have no memory of this being carried out in such a manner."

Daniel nodded. "It is difficult but it can be done," Meretseger assured him. "The reproductive parts of the human female provide nothing necessary to the process. All that is necessary is collection of the human genetic code to prevent rejection of the host," he smiled, "and we have a solution for that, as well."

Gershon and Selmak exchanged a surprised glance.

"Can Daniel provide the code?"

"Not where I can reach it," Meretseger said with a shake of Daniel's head. "We will need a donor."

Jacob cleared his throat. "Uh..."

Gershon looked startled. "How..."

"Leave that to me," Meretseger told them quietly. "For now, prepare an appropriate environment for spawning my young, someplace where they may be quickly received by needy Jaffa."

"As you wish, my queen," Gershon agreed quickly.

"When I have fulfulled my purpose for the Tok'ra," the symbiote added, "I will make a request of my people. We wish to return to the Tau'ri, if they will accept us among them. It is Daniel's place and the Tau'ri fight well. They will achieve greater things, with our help."

Shock passed through the council.

"We cannot risk your safety!" one of them cried, standing up.

"I will be as safe among them as I might be with any of you," the queen pointed out. "Your most secret places are discovered and destroyed. How can you protect me in this war? It is impossible. Each of us takes risks as we seek to eliminate the Goa'uld threat and the Tau'ri fight with passion. Can any of you deny their successes? Let me choose where I will take my stand, my brothers and sisters. I choose the Tau'ri."

"For your host, no doubt," Gershon snapped. "You care entirely too much for them, my queen."

Daniel smiled. "Perhaps you do not care enough, my sister. Are they not the very ones for whom we fight?"

The Tok'ra council sat in silence. Gershon bowed her head in shame. "It will be done as you wish, my queen."

Inclining his head, Daniel felt Meretseger release control. "You have Jacob to act as your liason to the Tau'ri. Meretseger wishes to act on your behalf in a reciprocal manner with the Tau'ri."

"That will leave her out of the loop on developments in the field," Jacob observed stiffly.

Daniel's smile grew wider. "Then I guess you'll have to work a little harder at including her in your communications relays, huh?" He pursed his lips, brows drawn together in concentration. "Things might be a little different if the Tau'ri actually knew what was going on out there. Maybe they might actually get more done. Hmmm. What a concept." He smiled again. "Anything else? We're pretty tired."

"Thank you, Daniel," Jacob said stiffly. "I think we're about done." He rose as his expression softened. He smiled, colouring slightly. "You sure you're okay with... being a mom?"

A little cough slipped out as Daniel felt himself blushing. "Uh... I hadn't exactly thought about it that way, thanks." He sighed and shrugged. "I just have to think about the Big Picture, Jacob, and the tiny little part I have to play in it. I'll be okay."

Jacob nodded.

Daniel stood up unsteadily, holding onto the table for balance a moment longer before making the short but difficult trek back to his room.

-- I think we did okay in there, Meretseger.--

He felt her internal smile.

**Yes, Daniel. I believe we did. Sometimes having a little power is a good thing.**

He chuckled softly to himself.

--Being a queen isn't so bad after all, girlfriend.--

He made his way slowly back toward their room, conversing with her in the quiet of his mind, discussing exactly how they would go about the difficult process of breeding the next generation of Tok'ra symbiotes. He had a lot of questions and she answered them all in fascinating if disgusting detail. When he lay down to rest, he closed his eyes and felt a sense of peace settle over him, such as he had never before experienced.

* * * *

Jack stood on the ramp in the embarkation room, hands in the pockets of his BDU pants, watching Jacob stride out of the watery event horizon toward him.

"Long time, no see," Jack said casually. "Any word on Daniel?"

"He's fine," Jacob said shortly. He directed his gaze up into the control room above. "The Tok'ra formally request Colonel O'Neill's... uh... services... for a diplomatic mission, General Hammond. I'm afraid I can't give any details, as this will have to be conducted with the utmost secrecy. No mission reports will follow. Do I have authorization for him to accompany me?"

"Let's go to the briefing room and discuss it, Jacob," Hammond shot back.

Minutes later, the three men sat around the big black and red table. "There isn't much I can tell you about this one, George," Jacob said casually. "We need Jack. That's about it."

"And you can't tell me anything about this mission, not even where he's going or who he'll be meeting with?"

"He'll be at one of the rebel Jaffa bases but I'm not at liberty to tell you which." Jacob's gaze slid briefly to Jack's face, then back to the general. "He'll be meeting with Meretseger and Daniel. I can't tell you any more than that; might've said too much already. Just know that we'll take very good care of him and we'll send him back as soon as we can. Maybe a few days."

Hammond looked at Jack.

"I'm good, sir," O'Neill assured him lightly. "It'll be nice to see Daniel. See how he's doing."

"Then you have a go. We're extending a measure of trust here, Jacob. We'd like to see it bear fruit."

Jacob coughed and looked at the table. His face colored. "It will, George, believe me."

"You okay, Jacob?" Jack asked, patting him on the shoulder.

General Carter nodded, collecting himself. "Oh, and George?" he added, looking hard at his old friend. "No debriefing afterward and no questions. Okay? This is between Jack and the Tok'ra and it's of vital importance." He turned to the colonel. "Pack a bag and stop by the armory. I'll be waiting at the Stargate."

It didn't take Jack long to gather the clothes and things he'd need for a short bivouac. He stopped by to let Carter and Teal'c know he'd be gone, then went to the 'gate room. Moments later he stepped out of the wormhole into pouring rain on a forested world, with a tent city not far from the gate. Jaffa were everywhere and among them a handful of surviving Tok'ra moved briskly on business.

There was an air of expectancy in the camp, smiles flashed here and there and hope in many eyes that looked his way. Jaffa bowed to them as they passed and Jacob led him toward an old ruin at the rear of the camp with several Jaffa on guard duty around it. They hurried inside and, stepping into a tiled entryway, Jacob gestured him toward the interior of the building.

Tall columns soared up around them to a vaulted ceiling. Some areas of the roof had big holes in it, through which rain poured and puddled on the mosaic floor. They went up a short flight of steps, down a hallway and stopped before a tall, ornately carved wooden door.

Jacob smiled as he grasped the handle and pushed it open. He did not follow Jack inside but closed the door after him once he'd fully entered the room.

Jack noticed that the room was well furnished. There was a big bed made up with soft-looking linens. The outside wall was arched with more columns, extending beyond where a small balcony overlooked the camp. A few tables were scattered around the room and there was a large desk strewn with books and papers, plus a small laptop computer.

Facing the porch, a lounge chair looked out over the drizzly landscape and Jack could just see the top of Daniel's head over the cushions. He dropped his duffel bag, took the P-90 off his shoulder and set it by the door, then went to have a look at his friend. Edging quietly around the chair, he saw that Daniel was asleep, glasses halfway down his nose, a book tented over his chest, hand still resting against the spine.

He looked good, Jack observed privately. Still a little thin from the immobility but his color was normal. His hair was longer, heading back toward the geek cut. His clothes gave Jack a moment of disapproval, because they were obvously Tok'ra clothes - tan suede leather that clung to his body and brown suede boots that came up to his knees to fit his calves like a glove. The outfit reminded Jack of Martouf, except that it had a deep V-cut on the tunic that showed off an expansive view of Daniel's chest, which was insanely arousing to see. Jack knew the Daniel who had been his friend for so long would be mortified wearing an outfit so revealing and close fitting. The clothes marked him as a Tok'ra, reminding Jack that his friend now had a snake in his head; that this was not the same Daniel he knew and loved.

More than anything else, Jack wanted to see him move.

He stood at the foot of the chaise, his clothes dripping on the floor.

"Daniel."

The man started awake, his whole body jumping.

"Jack! I must've dozed off." He sat up, looking down at the book, marking the page and setting it aside on the floor. He smiled. "It's great to see you again." He reached out with open arms, rising to stand beside the chair.

Jack backed up a step. "Uh, yeah. Great to see you're well, Daniel." He shoved his hands in his pockets and saw Daniel's smile wither.

"Jack?" His arms floated down by his sides.

"Daniel."

"Why don't you want me to touch you?"

Jack pointed to his head, indicating Daniel's guest. "It's not you, Daniel. You know how I feel about those snakes."

"Meretseger is different," Daniel assured him quietly. "She really is, Jack. I want you to get to know her. Please? I think you'll like her."

"No, I won't. She's a snake. That's all I need to know." His eyes swept up and down the other man. "You look good. You're walking. That's a plus."

"Yeah. I'm still a little weak but working on that." Daniel cleared his throat. He put his arms around his ribs and held himself. "Jack, I want to come back to the SGC. I want to rejoin the team."

"I don't think the Tok'ra will want you to do that. They won't let you go and I'm not sure Hammond would trust you not to put their interests first."

"That's part of why you're here, Jack. I want you to get to know Meret so you can vouch for her. Us. I need you to help me get home."

Jack cranked his chin up a little in disbelief, looking down his nose at the shorter man. "Daniel, there's a snake in your head. That makes a difference."

Daniel shook his head. "You won't even know she's there, I promise." His eyes were bright, believing in everything he said. He unfolded his arms and took a step closer. Something in him wilted when Jack stepped away, avoiding his touch. The hurt in his eyes was obvious. "Jack, I just want to hold you. I've missed you more than you can ever know. I just want to touch you."

"I'm wet."

"So change clothes. Or better yet, just get undressed." He smiled hopefully.

"You're not touching me, Daniel. Not with an audience."

"Who's she gonna tell?" He stepped closer and reached for Jack's BDU jacket. He started to unbutton it and pushed it off Jack's shoulders.

When he reached for Jack's pants, the colonel put his hands on Daniel's and stopped him.

"I said no."

Daniel reached up to kiss him.

Jack dodged away. "You are definitely not kissin' me with that thing in you."

"She's not gonna do anything to you," Daniel promised. He threw his arms around Jack's shoulders, holding him still. For a moment, they just stared at each other. Then Daniel laid his cheek against Jack's chest and sighed. "God, I've missed you, Jack."

Unable to stop himself, Jack's arms came up around him. He sagged with relief, the familiar feel of Daniel's body against his own bringing back so many sweet memories. Daniel was well. He could walk again; move on his own. That was priceless and drawing Daniel hard up against him, Jack's hands clutched at that heavily muscled back, those broad shoulders, wider than his own.

"God, Danny," he breathed with relief. "You're okay. You're okay."

Daniel's mouth found his neck, trailing kisses up to his jaw, behind his ear, across his cheek but when those soft lips touched the corner of his own mouth, Jack pushed him away and stepped back, breathless.

"Don't kiss me, dammit," he growled. He turned away, rubbing at his eyes and then at the back of his neck. His emotions were too high and he wasn't thinking straight. He wanted to kiss Daniel. Wanted to hold him and strip him naked and climb inside him but he couldn't. He wasn't just Daniel now.

"Look, we can't do that anymore," rasped Jack. "Not until you get that thing out of you."

Daniel looked lost. "She won't be going to another host, Jack," he said softly. "I've blended with her. It's done."

"Then so are we."

Anger narrowed Daniel's eyes. "You won't even give her a chance, will you?"

"What for? You're a Tok'ra now. I know how they are."

"You're generalizing, Jack. The Tok'ra are not all alike any more than the Jaffa are. Teal'c and Bra'tac are not the same as those other Jaffa out there blindly following their gods, are they?"

"Of course not."

"And I'm not like all the other archaeologists on Earth because I'm the only one you can stand on your team, right?"

"Sinclair's not so bad," returned Jack, lifting his chin and crossing his arms, remembering how he'd hated Daniel's replacement on the team at first. Now he just ignored the man as much a possible. "At least he played football in college."

Jack saw the hurt flash across Daniel's face, vanishing as stubborn anger crowded it out.

"And you're definitely like all the other colonels in the Air Force. Meretseger isn't like other Tok'ra, Jack. She's gentle and sensitive. She's special."

"She's a snake," Jack bit out, his heart hardening against Daniel's passionate argument. "That's all I care to know about her. Just drop it, okay? We are not going to be lovers with that thing in your head. I don't do audiences."

Anguish filled those blue eyes and Daniel turned away, head down, pacing the room. "I kinda thought that might be your stance on this." He sighed and lifted his chin, eyes closed. "So I guess it'll have to be somebody else."

"Somebody else for what?"

Daniel shook his head. "I don't want to think about that now." He cleared his throat and tried to smile. "I'll be here for another week or so, finishing up my recuperation. After that, I'd like to come home." He turned sad eyes to Jack's face. "If you want me back at all."

"I'll talk to Hammond about it, if you're sure that's what you want."

Nodding, Daniel looked down at his feet, thinking. "I'll need you to run interference with the NID. There are things I... we... are willing to give the Tau'ri to keep those bastards at bay. Shields. Ship designs." He looked up, his eyes filled with soul-deep sadness, "but no weapons. I remember the lesson Shifu taught me and there are some lines I won't cross. Not even for my own people."

Daniel looked so damn good in that outfit and Jack's body reacted. He struggled to tamp down his desire. Things were different now and he had to accept that.

"Will you want me on another team, or just at the base doing research?" Daniel didn't look up as he asked the question. "Or would you rather I wasn't there at all?"

"I don't know, Daniel. I wasn't expecting this to come up. I figured you'd be staying with the Tok'ra." Jack's brow furrowed. "Which reminds me, what's up with all the Jaffa here? And apparently happy Jaffa at that."

Daniel shook his head. "You don't need to know about that. You're here to help me negotiate my return to the Tau'ri. If I go back at all."

Jack spread his hands wide. "Why would you want to? I mean, the Tok'ra are all so high and mighty, keepin' everything secret from us because we're too stupid to handle anything dangerous or scary. You're hangin' with the big boys now. Why would you want to settle for us primitives?"

The look Daniel cast his way spoke volumes. Pain and need shone in his eyes. He wanted to be with Jack and that was as simple as it got. Only Jack had told him he didn't want him anymore. "Because I need you, Jack, but if you don't want me there, I'll stay away."

"I don't know if I could handle it," Jack returned honestly.

Daniel nodded. He sighed, his shoulders sagging with that breath. He put his arms around himself again. "Please take some time to think about it, okay? Visit with me for a few days. Get used to each other again." He smiled bravely. "I believe you'll find I'm not as different as you think."

"You are, Daniel."

"I'm ambulatory. That's the only difference."

"Huh?"

"I can walk again," Daniel reiterated. "I have the use of my body again. I'm not a potato anymore. I've got my life back, Jack."

"And a snake in your head. I know what that's like."

Daneil shook his head. "No, I don't think you do. Kanaan didn't really blend with you. You wouldn't let him, any more that I wanted to let Meret in when she first-" He pushed his glasses back up on his nose distractedly, obviously upset by the memories of implantation.

"Why're you still wearin' those things? I thought the snake would've corrected your vision by now."

"I didn't want her to. I'm... I'm comfortable with my glasses. As much of a pain as they are sometimes, they're a part of me." He grinned a little, looking up from beneath his lashes. "The allergies to everything are gone though. **That** was something I could definitely do without."

That look made Jack's pants stand at attention.

Daniel's eyes shifted downward. They moved resolutely back up to his face. "I need you, Jack," he murmured huskily. "I've missed you. Can you honestly say you don't want me anymore?"

Jack could hardly breathe; his desire was so thick in his chest. "No. I do still want you. But not with-"

"I know. That's why I want you to get to know her. Please?"

"I'm not gonna get naked with a snake, Daniel. You're just gonna have to get over me." He hesitated, his throat constricting with emotion. "Just like I have to get over you."

"I can't," Daniel shot back gently. "I'll never feel about anyone else the way I feel about you." He turned away and strolled toward the balcony, not quite stepping out into the rain. "But then, even that doesn't matter anymore. Duty calls."

He cocked his head, as if listening, keeping his back to Jack.

"I know, Meret. I'm sorry, too." His voice was almost lost in a clap of thunder. He hugged himself and sighed again.

"So what's goin' on with the Jaffa down there?" Jack asked, moving up behind him to take in the view.

"Their symbiotes are about to mature. Without new ones or a supply of Tritonin, they'll die. They came here for hope. There's a manufacturing setup in the tunnels below, where the Tok'ra are working on more of the drug."

"Oh." Jack felt the distance between them, not more than two feet apart. It seemed endless. He wanted to cross that chasm somehow. "So, tell me about your... new friend."

Daniel turned slightly, his face radiant with joy. "She's amazing, Jack, very spiritual. Her name is Meretseger. It means, 'She Who Loves Silence.' The Tok'ra call her the Quiet One."

Jack laughed. "And look at who she got stuck with! The biggest chatterbox I know. That's funny, Daniel. True cosmic irony." He clapped his hand on his lover's shoulder.

"Yeah, well, she's very polite, too. Always answers my questions." He pouted just a little.

"I'll bet you've talked her ears off. That is, if she had any ears, they'd be... off."

Jackson shrugged, turning back to the rain. "She's fallen asleep on me a couple of times. Says I tend to ramble."

"Maybe I could like her after all. She gonna come out and say hello?"

"No. She prefers that I speak for her. Doesn't like the sound of the altered voice."

"More points in her favor. Think I'll call her Harpo." Jack clasped his hands behind his back.

"Harpo?"

"Didn't you ever see the Marx brothers?" At the blank look, Jack explained. "Marx brothers? Famous comedy team? Groucho was the one with the big mouth, mustache, cigar. Harpo had the top hat, played the harp... Any of this registering with you?"

Daniel shook his head.

Jack sighed. "You are **so** culture deprived. Harpo did physical comedy; never said a word on film. His brothers did the talking for him but if you watched him, you didn't need a translator. The guy was..." He was rambling and got back to the point. "Anyway, Harpo didn't talk. Your snake doesn't talk and Harpo's a lot shorter and easier to pronunce than Metzger... Messenger... What was her name?" His brows pinched together.

"Meretseger." Daniel frowned.

"Exactly. So... have you told her about me? Does she know we were... you know."

"Intimate? Yes." Daniel was quiet for a moment. "She knows everything I know and vice versa. I've become acquainted with her previous hosts through her memories of them, seen bits of their lives. It feels like I was really there, back in Ra's court, Jack. Living history in my head."

"So she's experienced us... together?" Jack was unsettled by that thought. Embarrassed by it. What they had done together over the past few months was private.

"She thinks it's beautiful." He sighed. He remained still and silent for a minute, head cocked and gaze distant.

"She talkin' to ya?" Jack asked.

"Yes. She's offered to sacrifice herself so you'll want me again. I told her no." He looked down at the floor. "I almost killed her with my selfishness and hatred. Only now I believe she deserves to live and I'm lucky to have her." He paused. "I'm not alone anymore, Jack. I can't tell you how that makes me feel."

"I thought... when we got together..." Jack stopped, swallowing his hurt. What Daniel was talking about was different than what another human being could provide. He remembered enough of Kanaan's presence to understand how someone like Daniel, who felt so alienated from the rest of his kind, could draw comfort from that constant presence... especially if that presence was as pleasant and supportive as he described. Jack couldn't believe that, though. It had to be brainwashing or the snake putting words in Daniel's mouth.

"This is different," Daniel explained.

"I know. I remember Kanaan."

Daniel nodded. "I want to go to bed with you, Jack." He didn't turn around, didn't make eye contact, just continued looking out at the rainy landscape, "but if you can't, I'll understand."

Daniel's face reddened.

"You're blushing," O'Neill said flatly. "What did she say?"

"It doesn't matter." Daniel turned away, head down and returned to the room. "Hungry? It's almost lunchtime."

Jack followed him. There was such an air of sadness about Daniel and it pulled at Jack. "Wait," he called. When Daniel turned Jack gathered the man into his arms, cuddling him beneath his chin. "Don't doubt how I feel about you, Daniel. Not ever."

The younger man's embrace was gentle. "I know, Jack. It's okay."

"I don't want it to be like this between us."

"It doesn't have to be," Daniel offered. "We can go on just as we were. It's entirely up to you."

"I can't. Not with... company."

Daniel eased gently away without a word, without looking back. He led the way downstairs, into a large, airy room in the center of the ruined building. It had been converted to a hospital on one end, with food preparation at the other. Daniel gestured toward the camp kitchen. "You can get something to eat over there. I'll join you in a minute."

Jackson headed for the hospital area, bending over a bed where a Jaffa lay ill. Daniel took the soldier's hand; spoke to him briefly, offering comfort. Daniel was good at that. He patted the man's hand and moved off to visit several other beds where more Jaffa lay, fighting for their lives.

When he started to leave, Jacob caught him by the arm and spoke with him. Both men glanced at Jack and then Daniel looked at the floor and after a moment, shook his head. Jacob touched Daniel's shoulder, offering him comfort. The archaeologist gave him a weak smile of thanks and moved away to join his former C.O. His old friend. His ex-lover.

"What was that about?" Jack demanded.

"It doesn't concern you," Daniel assured him.

"Then why'd you both look at me?"

"Just let it go, Jack. Let's get you something to eat. We can catch up. You can tell me about Sam and Teal'c. I miss them. It'll be good to hear what everyone's been up to while I've been gone."

Jack didn't press the issue since they were in such a public area. He followed Daniel through the chow line and sat down with him at a table, noticing that Daniel got a cup of water and nothing else. They talked companionably during his meal and eventually the rain stopped. They went for a stroll through the muddy camp, still talking about ordinary things. O'Neill still saw the respectful bows aimed their way, pleased to see the Tok'ra and Jaffa getting along with each other. It was heartening.

"What happened here?" he asked as they meandered back toward the ruined building that was now Daniel's home. "Everybody's a little too happy. Somethin's up."

"That's what hope looks like, Jack," Daniel replied enigmatically. He was smiling softly. He looked proud. His eyes were bright as he met Jack's curious gaze. "I'm gonna go up to my room for some rest. I've arranged for you to... um... bunk in with me. If you'd rather have a separate bed, let me know and I'll ask Jacob to set one up for you. Anywhere you want. I'd like for you to be comfortable while you're here."

"You tired? I could come up and talk some more. There's still some stuff I haven't covered. Like Teal'c discovering Internet chat rooms and astrology, the day the food guy in the commissary went nuts and switched the salt and sugar in all the table containers, and of course, Felger's latest fiasco. There's an official list."

"I'm just gonna lie down for a little while and yeah, I'd love for you to tell me about the fun stuff." Daniel led the way up the stairs and into his room, closing the door behind them. He took off his boots and put them neatly by the bed, then stretched out on top of the covers. "You look good, Jack." He put one hand behind his head, letting the other relax over his heart.

"Still trying to pump more iron than Teal'c," Jack confessed. "One of these days, my ego's gonna get me squashed in the weight room."

He saw Daniel smile and started talking, taking a seat on the mattress near the prone man's feet. For a while, he went on about some of the more interesting odd moments at the base and eventually he saw the signals he was looking for - Daniel's eyelids closing slowly and finally drifting shut. Jack kept talking, droning on and on about truly boring stuff - things that even he thought were dreary, until the rhythm of Daniel's breathing and his totally relaxed posture told him that the man wasn't faking. He had fallen asleep.

For just a moment, he paused in his rambling narrative.

"Harpo, are you awake and listening? Can you talk to me without waking him up?"

The voice, though softly whispered, was thoroughly alien, husky, throaty and echoing with unnatural pitches. "Yes, Colonel O'Neill. We may speak privately, if that is what you wish."

"I do." Jack adjusted his seat on the foot of the bed. "How is he, really? Is he okay?"

"He is very sad but his body is recovering. He will be fit again soon and is eager to return to a useful life." Meretseger paused. "He wishes to go home but we will stay away if you cannot be comfortable with... me."

Jack thought about that. "So what is this big deal he won't tell me about?"

"If I told you, I would be betraying his trust in me. I cannot do that."

"If it was in his best interest, you could," Jack returned, keeping his voice soft and quiet. "You can still keep secrets from him. I know that firsthand."

"From your unfortunate experience with Kanaan," the symbiote remembered aloud. "Yes, Daniel has told me about this."

O'Neill frowned. "Something he remembered from when he was all glowy?"

"Sam and Teal'c told him what happened to you, after he returned to material form," Daniel's lips smoothed into a smile. "He is an amazing being, my master, is he not?"

Jack sat up straight, staring at that familiar face with that hideous voice emanating from it. "Master? Where the hell did that come from?"

"I belong to Daniel," she explained patiently. "He belongs to you, body and soul. Therefore, I must submit to you as well, both as commanding officer and..." She fell silent.

"Submit, Harpo?" He rubbed at the back of his neck. "So what's this big secret? I thought he was gonna spill and then somethin' changed his mind."

"It was your answer, before the question was even asked," Meretseger assured him gently. "He hoped you would accept me within him, since he was well again. When you did not... It changed everything. I cannot say more."

"So it's my fault, whatever it is, huh?" He stood up very carefully, so he wouldn't jostle the sleeping man. "Is it something that will hurt him?"

"I will not betray him, colonel. He does not wish you to know."

Jack paced beside the bed, thinking. "Okay, lemme ask you this. If we're out in the field and getting our asses shot off and I order you to get him to safety, would you do it? Even if he wanted to stay with me and take his chances?"

Meretseger pondered that. Daniel's head turned on the pillow. His hand came out from beneath his head and he rolled over onto his side but did not waken. "I do not know. I would urge him to safety but I have never taken control of my host's body and made any of them do anything they did not wish to do."

"Not even to save their lives?" Jack prodded, "and consequently, your own snaky little butt?"

"My host's life is far more important to me than my own but I do not expect you to believe this. Your experiences with my kind would not lead you to trust my words."

"So take this opportunity to build a little trust with me," Jack shot back instantly. "Tell me what Daniel doesn't want me to know. He's trying to spare my feelings at the cost of his own. I know him. I read the signs and I don't want him hurt. You can help me protect him by telling me what he won't."

"He does not wish to be protected, colonel. He is a strong man, a good man. I trust his judgment where you are concerned."

"Oh?" Jack stopped pacing. His eyebrows shot up his forehead. "I know myself way better than he does. I should be the one to make the judgment call here. He's trying to protect me. Isn't that right, Harpo?"

"Yes."

"From what?"

Daniel sighed. He licked his lips and slept on. "He believes knowing the events to come would remove your best choices from you. He has told me you would be manipulated by these events into actions you have already decided against and he does not wish you to be powerless. He is trying to spare you pain, my master."

Jack cocked his head. The only thing he'd decided against was bringing Daniel home. "There has to be something more to it than whether or not I'm comfortable around him, Harpo. Spill."

"That is the essence of why you were brought here," she assured him. "Daniel chose you. You rejected him. Another has been chosen instead. Do not let it concern you."

"Another what?"

Daniel lay silently on the bed, his breathing deep and even. His body twitched, and his hand went automatically to his belly. He moaned softly and grimaced.

Jack's eyes were drawn to Daniel's hand by the movement and as he watched, he saw Daniel's abdomen jiggle slightly. As if something inside him was moving.

Something clicked in Jack's mind; but he shied away from it. **Jaffa in need of new symbiotes. A queen, capable of spawning them and a request for a human male, someone with whom Daniel was comfortable, someone who loved him. He thought about what Carter told him about Hathor, about what she had done to Daniel.**

"Harpo."

"Here, sir."

"He's... pregnant, isn't he? I mean he's got your babies in him. Doesn't he?"

A soft, breathy chuckle was his answer. "He said you were an intelligent man." The smile vanished. "Yes. The Tok'ra and the Jaffa have requested that I... fulfill my biological function on their behalf. To do so, I require human genetic material to ensure the viability of... my children."

"And you want me to code the next generation of Tok'ra poliwogs, is that it?"

"No, my master. **Daniel** wished for you to be the one. You have refused."

Jack felt something dark rising up inside him. "So if I don't do it... someone else will. That's what you both said earlier, that someone else would be chosen. Is that what he didn't want me to know?"

"Yes. He chooses to endure this alone, rather than hurt you. He is a noble man, Colonel O'Neill."

"You two got quite the mutual admiration society goin' there," Jack growled back angrily, "and he's right. I don't have a choice now. There's no goddamn way I'm lettin' somebody he may not even know screw him. He went through that with Hathor and it wrecked him good for a while. I'm not gonna let him suffer like that again."

"Because you care for him," the alien said softly.

"Yes."

"You have never told him so, Colonel O'Neill. He needs to hear the words from you."

Jack scraped his fingers through his hair, pacing the floor. "This sucks," he snarled. "What the hell do I have to do?"

"He knows what must be done. This is a great gift you give him... and also to me. I thank you for your sacrifice and will offer you as much privacy as I can."

"So what do I have to do?" Jack already knew the answer to that. He just wanted the particulars.

"Have intercourse with him."

"And if I can't?"

"Others are waiting."

"Who?"

"That is not your concern."

"It damn sure is!" Jack snapped, standing up.

Daniel's eyes flew open at the noise. "Jack?" His voice was his own. "Who were you shouting-Oh. You were talking to Meret." His eyes glazed over slightly for a moment and then brightened. "Shit. She told you."

"No. I figured it out by myself, thank you," Jack snarled. He started pacing again. "Who's next in line if I can't get it up for a snake?"

Daniel sat up. "That's none of your business."

"You and your snake are both on the same page. Tell me, Daniel. I have a right to know."

"No, you don't," argued Daniel. "If you don't want to do this, you just go home and forget about it." He frowned as he sat up, looking down at his hands again, playing with his fingers. "I'd rather have you do it than anyone else, Jack. I know you... care about me. That'll help."

Jack stopped pacing and just stared down at the man. "Look at me, Daniel." He waited until those azure eyes rolled up to his face. "Do you **want** to do this? I know you think you need to, but do you **want** to?"

A short bitter laugh escaped the archaeologist. "Do I want to do this? Hell, no!" Jackson licked his lips, his burst of humor suddenly gone. He lowered his gaze to the floor. "People's lives are depending on us," he said softly. "I don't have a choice here." He sighed, his shoulders hunched, misery written in every line of his posture. "I want to be with you, Jack, but knowing you don't want me... that's enough. I'd rather it was someone else. I'll get through it."

"That would be rape," Jack stated certainly. "You want someone you don't even know to rape you?"

He saw Daniel's eyes squeeze shut. His face set. Determinedly, he pressed his lips together before he spoke. "That's the way things are but it won't be a stranger."

"Jacob?" Jack guessed.

"He's not too thrilled with the idea, either. In fact, it'll be Selmak doing the... um... donation. Jacob doesn't think he could handle it." He paused. "He's next in line if you pass and it's okay if you do, Jack. I understand."

"Do you really think I'd let anyone else-" Jack grabbed his head and pivoted, putting his back to Daniel. "Shit! We are so fucked with this one."

"Well, not yet."

"Dammit, Daniel!"

The younger man gusted a tense laugh, shaking his head in astonishment. "I know. I'm beginning to wonder if I have some cosmic 'kick me' sign tattooed on my forehead or something. I mean, why does this shit always happen to **me?"**

Jack couldn't look at his friend. He stood with his back to the other man, his insides cramping. "When do we have to do this?"

"Sometime today would be good," Daniel answered dispiritedly, "and then once a day for the next three or four days."

Jack thought his chin actually hit the floor for a moment. He whirled around and stared. "Four or five **times,** Daniel? You only did Hathor once! Why the fuck-"

"She only spawned once." Daniel did not look up. "There are a lot of Jaffa out there who need symbiotes. The Tok'ra can't produce enough Tritonin for all of them."

"So they're making a fucking broodmare out of you? Just keep poppin' 'em out for as long as you can? Jesus H. Christ, Daniel!" Jack grabbed his head again. He pounded the heel of his hand against his forehead in frustration.

"I can't eat while she's spawning," Daniel told him flatly. "In my present condition, I can't go for more than a few days' worth. Then I'll need recovery time but periodically... until we find another solution..." He shrugged, picking at imaginary lint on his clothes.

Jack thought he was going to explode. If he stayed in that room he just might and without a word turned, slamming the door behind him as he left. He stomped down the stairs, looking for something on which to vent his rage and pulling up short, he caught sight of Jacob, pacing slowly near the base of the stairs.

The older man's head came up and he made eye contact. Instantly he took Jack's measure and started toward him. He didn't say a word, just moved past the colonel and continued to make his way upstairs... to Daniel.

Jack caught him by the arm. "You are **not** going in there," he snarled. "Nobody's doing this but me. You got that?"

"We understand," Selmak assured him, pulling himself gently from O'Neill's grasp.

"I just need to let off a little steam first," Jack explained. "I can't tell you how much this fucking pisses me off."

Selmak nodded and posted himself on the stairs. "When will you return?"

Jack just shook his head and weaving his way through the Jaffa in the great room downstairs, stepped out into the rain-freshened air outside. Afternoon was sliding swiftly into early evening and Jack set off at a fast jog through the camp, pushing himself until he was sweating and drained. He walked briskly back to camp to cool down, slowing his pace as he neared the expanse of ruins.

Jacob was waiting for him on the stairs. "Time grows short," he advised gently. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry, Jack. It matters that you're his friend."

Which simply meant that it would be equally painful for both of them, Jack knew. He started up the stairs, his legs rubbery from the run. He could smell the perspiration on himself and wished he could have a bath first but he didn't think anyone wanted him to wait and he suspected there weren't any shower facilities in that place.

He walked up to the door and raised his hand to knock. Then he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against it, summoning up his strength, locking down his emotions. Shutting down the man was the only way the colonel would be able to get through this... duty. He just hoped Daniel would understand.

He knocked. "You okay in there?"

"I'm ready now," Daniel called back.

Pushing open the door, Jack stepped into the room and closed it quickly behind him. He felt hot and not just from the exercise. Jack was aware that he was blushing, because Jacob and the other Tok'ra knew exactly what was going to happen in this room tonight. He stared at the bed, his mouth going dry.

Daniel knelt in the middle of it, completely naked except for a small piece of cloth draped over his privates. He sat with his head down, just looking at his hands clasped in his lap. He didn't look up when Jack came up to the side of the bed.

"There's some lubricating ointment in that little jar on the nightstand," Daniel said dejectedly.

Looking at the pot, Jack picked it up and set it on the bed near Daniel's left hip. Moving to the foot of the bed, Jack began to undress, leaving his clothes in a neat pile on the floor next to his boots. He started to climb onto the mattress and Daniel's voice carried over his shoulder to Jack in the silence.

"Just sit down and think about... whatever turns you on. Then when you're ready, just tell me and I'll... get into position. You don't have to touch me anywhere that's not necessary."

Jack's dog tags dangled in the air as he shucked off his pants. The motion drew his attention to them and he straightened, looking down at the silver plates winking in the candlelight. He reached down and grasped the chain, lifting the tags off over his head and setting them down on his clothes. This would never be reported but he couldn't in good conscience undertake to have sex with another man with those things on him. He always took them off before he and Daniel had slept together.

He sat down on the foot of the bed, gazing out at the scenery and thought about the first time he and Daniel had been together, after that incident with the aliens hijacking Daniel's mind. Misunderstood memories brought them together and Jack had never been sorry. Sex with Daniel was everything he'd fantasized about and far more.

Catching his slowly awakening erection in his hand, Jack began to stroke himself, pushing his limits, plunging headlong toward completion. He heard the sounds he was making, the whisper of his hand slapping against his thigh and belly, breathless little whimpers of pleasure and tried not to think about the fact that Daniel was there right behind him, listening, waiting. That Daniel was wishing Jack would touch him like that.

Tension mounted. His body proclaimed its need and with a grunt Jack turned around, climbing onto the bed on his knees. He saw Daniel move without being told, bending over and offering himself, already lubricated and ready.

Jack grasped his cock and aimed. His body shuddered with need and revulsion, his mind screaming at him to stop. Clenching his teeth, he pushed.

A soft grunt was the only noise Daniel made but his body bolted away from Jack, tension and pain flattening him against the bed, quivering and panting.

"Shit," Jack panted. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go so fast."

Daniel's voice was husky, thready, filled with emotion. "It's okay, Jack. It's okay."

Jack wanted to touch him all over, to run his hands over that beautiful body, to taste Daniel again but he couldn't. He just wanted to get the job done as quickly as possible and Daniel understood that. He wasn't asking for anything, not a single sign of affection.

Daniel moved back to his knees and Jack pressed into him again, slower this time, gentler. He watched as his cock disappeared into Daniel's ass and closed his eyes when he was fully encased. He felt the sensation of that slick channel all around him, tight and smooth and tried not to think about just how damn good it felt. He withdrew a little, easing back inside slowly and heard himself groan. His hands settled on Daniel's smooth, soft buttocks and Jack saw Daniel put his head down on his arms. He felt his lover trembling and wondered if Daniel was crying.

"Jeez," Jack swore softly. "It's been a long time, Daniel. This feels so..."

"Good," Daniel finished breathlessly, his voice cracking. "I know. Me, too."

"Good." Jack opened his eyes. He looked down at that male body spread out before him, the broad shoulders, the back rippling with muscle, that thick waist and tight ass squeezing him. Heat shot through Jack and he let his hands roam, smoothing over Daniel's back and hips. Jack's breathing sounded harsh in his ears, ragged and strained. He looked down at his cock, watched it slide in and out of that fit, toned... beautiful body and his heart squeezed painfully inside him.

He wanted to see Daniel's face.

"Look at me, Daniel," he whispered hoarsely, clutching at Daniel's hips. He was thrusting faster now, sinking into Daniel's ass all the way to the root.

"I can't," the younger man cried. "Please, Jack. Just do it. Get it over with."

Daniel pushed back against Jack, taking all of him, demanding more. One hand swept underneath him to take hold of his cock, his arm jerking back and forth. Daniel rose up on one hand, muscles bulging as he held their bodies off the bed with one arm, the other frantically moving to bring him to completion.

"Jack, I'm... Ah!" Rhythmic grunts escaped Daniel as he came, ebbing softly into silence. He rolled his hips back, giving Jack greater access.

Daniel's orgasm took Jack's breath away. The sensation of that tight, slick channel squeezing his cock was unbearably good and Jack couldn't hold back. Just as Daniel finished, Jack erupted, a roar of unbridled pleasure ripping out of his throat. He collapsed against Daniel's back, his body shaking and drained.

Slowly, Daniel lowered himself to the bed. He stretched out his legs with Jack's full weight on top of him and when he could manage to control his limbs again, Jack straightened out as well, careful not to disengage his shrinking flesh from Daniel's backside. Jack rested his cheek against Daniel's nape, slowly becoming aware that Daniel was sniffing.

Jack hoisted himself up, bracing his upper body on his elbows. He looked down at his friend's face and saw tears trickling across Daniel's nose. The other man's eyes were closed.

"Hey," Jack called softly, reaching up to wipe those tears away. "You okay, Danny?"

A nod was the only response.

"Want me to get off?"

"You're fine," Daniel whispered shakily. His smile was fleeting, followed by more tears. "We did it."

"Yeah." Reality reared its ugly head and rolling his hips back, Jack withdrew his flaccid member. He moved to hands and knees and backed off, returning to his seat at the foot of the bed. He looked down at himself, slick from sex and remembered his purpose in this mess.

"Jack?"

He didn't answer. Turning his gaze out to the balcony, he saw the sunset coloring the sky with faint traces of yellow and pink. Already a few stars were visible and in another few minutes it would be fully night.

He could feel Daniel moving on the bed behind him, heard him suck in a pained breath between his teeth as he sat down and then left the bed completely. Jack didn't look back. Daniel wandered in front of him a moment later, dressed in some kind of long robe, tied at the waist with a sash. He squatted down on the floor at Jack's feet, looking up into his face.

"Are you okay?"

Jack was at war within himself. They were lovers. Daniel deserved better than this and Jack couldn't give it to him. Not as a Tok'ra.

With a shake of his head, Jack looked at the floor. Accusations reverberated in his soul. He had treated Daniel like a whore.

Daniel gave him a soft, hesitant smile. "I have to go now," he announced quietly. "I'll be gone for... several hours, I guess. There's a basin and some water over there if you want to wash." He glanced toward the items, drawing Jack's gaze with him. "You can go downstairs for something to eat, wander around the camp, get some sleep. Just do whatever you want for a while. I'll see you again tomorrow. Okay?"

For a moment, Jack just looked at him, his mind so clogged with images, recriminations and questions that it was difficult to think. "Where are you going?"

"Downstairs. I... You don't need to go. In fact, I'd rather you didn't." Daniel reached up and touched Jack's face, resting his palm against Jack's cheek. "You were great, Jack. It was... good. Thank you."

Jack just stared at him, wondering why Daniel chose that moment to lie to him. "I used you, Daniel. I didn't do a thing to try to get you to enjoy it. Don't try to make me feel better about this. Okay?"

Daniel's eyes grew haunted. He nodded and rose gingerly. Moments later, he was out the door and gone.

Rising mechanically, Jack made his way to the basin. He poured some water from a large pitcher beside it, soaked a small washcloth and dutifully began to scrub the sweat, lubricant and semen from his body. He felt refreshed after the sponge bath and putting his clothes back on, moved toward the balcony to look out over the camp.

It was a beautiful planet, lush with flowers and exotic looking trees and plants. He could see the Stargate in the distance, lighting up as it activated and began to spin. Jack grabbed his P-90 and headed outside, glad for a distraction that would keep his mind occupied and away from the devastating act that had occurred in that room.

He went to the gate and watched as more Jaffa arrived, eager to join the others. Once they were settled in, Jack headed for the camp kitchen and sat down with some food. He was halfway through his meal when he saw a Tok'ra he recognized coming into the room with a large pot in his arms.

The man headed to the hospital area in the back and as Jack watched, the Tok'ra began to retrieve the mature symbiotes from those Jaffa struggling to stay alive on the beds, replacing them with squealing, squirming babies. Jack tore his gaze away, aiming it at his plate instead.

He knew where those babies originated. Daniel had given birth and now the process had started. Lives were being saved, just as Dr. Jackson predicted and because of Jack's contribution, when these symbiotes matured, they would be perfectly compatible with human hosts.

He got up and stumbled outside, throwing up as soon as he was away from the building.

* * * *

Jack paced the bedroom all night long, waiting to hear some news about Daniel but none came. By mid-morning he was beside himself with worry, determined to find out where his friend was and confirm that Daniel was all right. Just as Jack started for the door, it opened and Daniel strolled inside, still wearing that robe from the previous night.

He smiled softly. He looked tired. "Morning, Jack. Did you sleep well?"

"I didn't sleep at all," Jack shot back. "I was worried about you. Nobody told me anything."

Daniel headed for the basin. He shrugged off the robe and stood naked beside it. Pouring some water, he began to bathe. "I didn't realize you'd be worried. Next time, I'll have someone give you progress reports."

Jack found himself staring. The way Daniel's eyes rolled closed as he felt the cool water running down his skin was sinfully arousing and desire heated Jack's belly. He knew how beautiful Daniel was with all that lovely golden skin, those long, clean limbs and the glorious grace with which he moved. Jack's mouth went dry as he watched Daniel's head tip downward and followed Daniel's gaze to his privates. Jack watched Daniel wash himself, the efficiency of motion, the jostling of that long, soft penis and heavy scrotum. When Daniel reached behind himself, Jack wanted to turn away but he couldn't. Because at that moment, Daniel's eyes met his and he knew that Jack had been watching him. Wanting him.

Daniel knew the hunger was still there and that Jack wasn't going to do anything about it.

O'Neill turned away, stepping out onto the balcony, putting his back to his lover. He braced his arms on the stone railing and looked out at the Stargate, watching the Jaffa whose lives had been saved only hours before start their journey home. It was an important role they were both playing, he told himself. It did need to be done and it was better for Daniel to be done by someone who cared about him. It just wasn't good enough that the one doing the deed had totally ignored Daniel in the process.

"Jack," Daniel called softly. "Come to bed. You're tired and we both need to get some rest."

Dutifully, Jack moved to the lounge chair and stretched out on it. "I'll sleep here," he answered, gentling his voice for his lover. Daniel didn't need to know how this was tearing Jack apart.

A warm hand closed on Jack's shoulder. He looked up into those bluer-than-blue eyes and saw the concern. "I'd rather you slept with me," he breathed. "Please?"

Daniel's fingers closed around Jack's bicep. He pulled gently and Jack felt himself rise in response. He let Daniel lead him over to the bed and watched as Daniel began to undress him. He didn't resist. Numbly, he got between the covers and stretched out on his back. Daniel got in on the other side and snuggled close, his cheek on Jack's shoulder, his left hand on Jack's chest.

In seconds, Daniel was sleeping. Jack couldn't get up without waking him, so he just lay there, staring at the sun-dappled ceiling. Weariness won out and in time, he too closed his eyes and slept.

* * * *

"I suppose we should get to it," Daniel suggested, stretching lazily beneath the covers. "Or would you rather get something to eat first? I'll wait here."

"You can't eat?"

Daniel shook his head. "Not until we're done. My digestive tract has been temporarily altered for another use. I can drink water but that's it." He lay propped on one elbow, looking down at his lover. He wanted so desperately to kiss Jack but knew the other man would bolt if he tried it. That hurt tremendously but he accepted it as a consequence of his decision to host Meretseger.

Jack rolled away and got up. "That's just way too much information," he complained. "I'm gonna make a stop by the privy and grab some breakfast, or lunch, from the look of the sunshine out there. I'll be back."

"Sure thing. I'll be ready when you get back."

"No," Jack snapped. "I'm not fucking you like a whore again. Just... Just read or somethin' till I get back."

Daniel's cheeks heated up. He was ashamed of how he'd felt when Jack was taking him last night, ashamed that he'd cried while they were doing it but the way Jack put it just then summed up exactly how it made him feel. Like it was just a fuck. Like Jack could have been anybody. The only thing missing was money on the nightstand.

"Okay," he murmured, sliding beneath the covers again. When Jack was gone, he rose and put on his robe, strolling out onto the balcony to look at the camp. Already many Jaffa had returned home but more were still arriving, coming in search of his children, and finding hope.

**It is a good thing, beloved.**

-- I know. I'm happy to help. I just wish...--

**Perhaps, in time, your lover's feelings will change. Perhaps he will learn to see you without me. I will endeavor to make my presence very small, so that might happen.**

Daniel felt her smile.

--You're a wonderful friend, Meret. Thank you.--

He sat down at the desk, put on his glasses and began to work, losing track of time once he got into it. The waning light of late afternoon caught his attention, making him realize how much time had passed. Jack had been gone a very long time and Daniel was starting to get worried. He laid his glasses aside, got up and went to the door.

It opened as he reached for the handle and he backed away at the sight of Jack's intense glare, his lips set in a firm, angry line. He slammed the door and advanced on Daniel, grabbing at his robe and pulling Daniel hard up against his uniform. O'Neill's teeth were bared, clenched in fury as he held the archaeologist close.

"Jack?" Daniel was a little spooked by the look in those chocolate brown eyes. His hands fluttered in the air, seeking balance, afraid to touch his lover.

"Why can't that thing go to someone else?" he demanded harshly. "You're well now. Why do you wanna keep it?"

"Her," Daniel corrected, tamping down his rush of fear. This was Jack; Jack wouldn't hurt him. He was just angry at the circumstances. "I told you why. She's staying with me. I want her here."

"You want her more than me?"

Something inside Daniel withered. Anger flashed up in him, hot and intense. "Don't make me choose between you and her, Jack. You're life isn't at stake here. Hers is and I won't kill her. I can't be that selfish. Not even for you." His hands closed over Jack's, intent on making him let go.

Jack flung him backward a little, making Daniel stumble to catch his balance. He was shaking, adrenaline surging through his system. He turned away, devastated at the pain his lover was feeling, enraged that Jack clung so hard to his prejudice. "Jack, just go. Get the hell out. Go back to Earth!" He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to hold in his anguish and calm his rage.

"I can't, Daniel. I'm not letting anybody rape you."

"It... It's not exactly..."

"Yes. It is. What I did last night was just as bad. Maybe even worse." Jack prowled the room, hands in his hair, head down, mumbling a stream of curses that turned the air blue.

Daniel tried to shrug it off, block it out but Jack's pain went through him like a knife. He held his breath but his emotions were out of control with the stresses of the last few days. He struggled to adjust to the presence of the wriggling creatures within him and it just added to the unstable grip he had on himself. Resentment surfaced suddenly at the unfairness of it all. Daniel stooped to grasp the frame of the chaise and flung it upward and away from him, the chair and cushion bouncing off the floor and wall.

Jack spun around at the noise. Advancing on Daniel, he grabbed the shoulder of his lover's robe, his grip gentler now, and tried to make him turn.

"Don't!" Daniel shouted, pulling out of his grasp. "Just leave me the fuck alone." He tried to walk away to the door but Jack caught him and spun him around. Daniel glared at him, arms wrapped tightly around himself.

"God dammit," Jack breathed softly. His arms came up around the younger man and for a long time, Jack just held him as Daniel slowly relaxed against him. His cheek smoothed over Daniel's hair. He sighed. "I'll try to pretend what I know is happening inside you isn't real, for the next few days. Forgive me if I'm not as happy as I'd like to be that you're well."

"Yeah," Daniel returned bitterly. He let go of his ribs and smoothed his hands up Jack's chest, moving around to his nape. Relief flooded through his body, resignation that this was as good as it was going to get between them. "We'll do anything you want, Jack. We'll pretend it's a vacation."

Jack's hand came up to Daniel's neck, his fingertips stroking over the beating pulse in his throat. Daniel tilted his head, lips parting slightly, hoping for a kiss. His eyes closed as he narrowed the space between them but Jack didn't touch his mouth. Instead, he leaned down and placed a kiss on Daniel's throat, smoothing his lips up to ear and cheek and then pulling away to look into Daniel's eyes.

Daniel felt himself crumbling inside at the anguish in those chocolate brown depths. "I'm sorry," he whispered to those eyes. "I do care about you but I know you don't believe that any more."

Without a word, Jack's hand moved up to his cheek. He captured Daniel's lips with his own, warm and moist and soft and Daniel sighed at the intimacy of the contact. Daniel pressed deeper, teasing Jack's mouth open with his tongue, his body shaking with need. He wanted to be inside Jack, wanted Jack inside him, all passion and fire and thunder. He fumbled with Jack's shirttail, struggling clumsily with hands that wouldn't obey him, his trembling too hard to control. With help he tugged the garment loose from Jack's pants and pulled away just long enough to get it over his lover's head.

Jack reached for his robe, taking it off and tossing it onto the upturned chaise. He looked down and spread his fingers possessively over Daniel's chest while the archaeologist worked feverishly on the buttons on the BDU pants. "Mine," Jack whispered hoarsely.

"Yes, always," Daniel sniffed as he pushed the pants down off Jack's lean hips. "No one but you, Jack." Daniel walked him backward, toward the bed. He pushed on Jack's shoulders, making him sit down on the mattress and started working on the laces of Jack's boots. They were caked with mud from yesterday's rain but Daniel didn't care. He pulled the boots off an