Obsession

by Liz Bradford 

Part One

At last, there was Daniel, eyes half closed, lips parted, stretched out across his bed clothed only in moonlight.

He reached out, his hand shaking slightly, almost afraid to touch, almost afraid to believe in this evidence of his long-yearned-for desire.

Dry of mouth, he let his fingertips caress the warm, satin-smooth skin, but was still caught breathless as he started to drown in the sensations that tore through his body like a tidal wave. Pulse beat hammering in his ears, he could hear nothing else. Heat raged over his skin, scalding his nerves, tearing at his control.

He closed his eyes. He had to. Had to hide the emotions he knew must be shining from him like a beacon. Couldn't let them out. Couldn't let them free.

Swallowing deeply, he found his courage and looked down at the sweat-sheened body laid open to him, and was lost all over again. Unable to help himself, he watched his hand travel over the wide ribcage, delighting in the smooth texture. He let his thumb gently rub across a rosy nipple and his breath caught in his throat as Daniel arched in response, lips parting further.

Oh God, he breathed.

His hand journeyed on, exploring the soft planes and firm curves, driving the young man to writhe under his fingers, the soft sighs and low moans music to his ears.

Seeing the effect he was having on Daniel, he was filled with longing. He wanted so much, wanted everything. And here it was, his for the taking. A shudder racked his body, the thought overcoming his meagre control.

And then it was over, and he was adrift; Daniel had raised a hand and was pulling his head down; such was the power this young man held.

He couldn't take his eyes from the full, moist lips. They came closer and closer, drawing him like a magnet. He opened his mouth. And then, they met.

Floodgates opened inside him, he couldn't hold anything back, didn't want to. The tide of passion had been let loose; it rose inside him, swelling like a torrent, flowing over his skin and through his veins, rushing him onward.

It was glorious. He wanted to die here, and he wanted it to last forever. But it couldn't. The peak caused him to cry out, he heard his own hoarse shout of joy, and it seemed to echo inside his head, going on and on and on...

...and turning into the shrill call of his alarm clock.

Eyes wide open, shock painting his skin with electricity, he froze completely for a moment. Then he leaned over and savagely killed the noise with a sweep of his hand, sending the clock skittering across the bedroom floor.

After a long moment he groaned and fell back against the pillow, staring sightlessly up at the ceiling. Eventually, he took a shuddering breath and raised an arm, covering his eyes.

"Oh boy, Jack," he muttered to himself harshly. "Just how much of this torment is it going to take? Give it up."

A second later he was out of bed and under the shower. Colonel Jack O'Neill was making ready for work.

oOo

"No, Dr Jackson," General Hammond was saying brusquely, "I will not authorise any such mission. The dangers far outweigh any other considerations."

As O'Neill approached the door to the briefing room, he slowed, waiting to hear Daniel's response and wondering what the argument could be about this time.

"But we know where they went." Daniel's voice was pleading. "Teal'c saw the address. We can follow them and -"

"Absolutely not." The General's voice was adamant. "For the last time, Doctor, the SGC is not here to risk life and limb on foolhardy missions. I know it's your family we are talking about here, but there have to be limits."

O'Neill groaned. That again. Daniel would never give up in his search for Sha're. He would take on the military, forget common sense and logic, and rush blindly into any situation that could lead to the return of his wife.

"But -"

"I said no, Dr Jackson."

Deciding that a distraction was needed, and that he was the only one around to provide it, O'Neill moved forward swiftly and rapped on the half open door.

"Good morning, sir," he said brightly, beaming at the two men who stood toe to toe by the window overlooking the gate room. "Ready for the next mission into the twilight zone, Daniel?" he added as he closed the door firmly behind him.

Far from changing the subject, he groaned internally as he saw that his presence was not having the desired effect; the light of relief in Daniel's eyes as the young man moved a few steps towards him told a different story altogether.

"Jack, Jack, please tell him," the archaeologist began eagerly, his speech fast and determined. "Explain that we can go through the gate and find Sha're and Skaara. Now that we know where they are, it would be so simple."

"Now, Daniel, you know that's impossible," Jack began placatingly. "I know Teal'c saw the address symbols when Apophis and Sha're left Abydos, but that's not enough. And you know it."

The disappointment on the young man's face caused his stomach to churn. Just how the hell did Daniel manage to do this to him. Every time.

"But how can you do nothing?" Daniel glared at him, his body stiff with anger. "Don't you want to get Skaara back? Have you forgotten him already?"

Now that hurt.

"Don't be ridiculous," he answered harshly. "No one's forgetting anybody. But we can't just saddle up and gate to that address with no intelligence. We need recon."

"Then send a probe," Daniel cried out as he spun away, his anguish more than apparent. "We have to go after them. I have to settle this once and for all. She is my responsibility and," his voice broke slightly, "and she's so frightened."

Jack shook his head and pulled back on his temper. It hurt him to see the pain in his friend's eyes and he couldn't blame Daniel for fighting for the woman he loved.

"We might as well send a telegram to Apophis telling him we're on our way," he said as gently as he could.

The light of battle died in Daniel's eyes and he looked down at his tightly clasped fingers. "So what do we do?" he whispered.

"You wait, son," the general interjected calmly. "Give us some time to work on this. But until someone comes up with a reasonable plan, I can tell you now that there will be no rescue mission to wherever that address leads."

An uncomfortable silence descended on the room. Jack dragged his eyes away from Daniel's unhappy expression and looked across at Hammond, shrugging his shoulders. It was an old problem, and no one could ease Daniel's suffering. That was certain, much as he wished it were otherwise.

The door behind him opened suddenly as Captain Samantha Carter and Teal'c entered the room. "Sorry, sir," Carter said, looking around at the group, her eyes wide and questioning. "Are we late?"

"Er, no, captain." General Hammond straightened his spine and moved towards the long table in the middle of the room. "We're ready to start the mission briefing now, so if you'll all be seated, we can begin."

O'Neill slowly took his place at the table, watching his team as they settled to the task at hand. Teal'c sat quietly, his hands folded together on the table, a picture of controlled and concentrated strength. Carter sat back in her seat, her eager eyes watching the general as he started to speak, her excitement for the new mission causing her eyes to shine. Daniel, however, was looking anything but eager. He was staring at the table, a frown between his eyes, his fingers absently shredding the corner of a piece of paper.

A very deliberate cough caught O'Neill's attention, and he glanced at the general, nodding his apology.

"Well, people," Hammond began briskly, "now that we are all attending, the plan today is for you to visit P3X975. By all accounts, this one shouldn't be too much trouble. The MALP pictures show a forest terrain -"

"Oh, great. Trees. Again," O'Neill couldn't stop himself from muttering, though he smiled slightly at the general's frown of censure.

"- a forest terrain," Hammond repeated forcefully, "with what appears to be a large, derelict temple nearby. The site is considerably overgrown so it seems fairly certain that you won't have to deal with any local population straight away. However, do the usual checks and see if there's any indication of a more advanced civilisation in the area. Oh and, by all means, see what information you can gather from the building, Dr Jackson."

O'Neill was surprised to see that Daniel visibly started at the mention of his name, and it became obvious that the general had noticed too.

"Dr Jackson, would you like to be relieved from this mission?" Hammond asked with concern. "Perhaps take a little personal time?"

"No." The answer was spoken urgently, Daniel sitting up in his seat sharply. "No, I don't need any time off." He darted a look around the table, adding more quietly, "I'm sorry, I...my mind was wandering. I apologise."

Frowning, O'Neill leaned forward. "Are you sure, Daniel?" he asked slowly. "After all, one temple is much like any other, as far as I can tell. We could probably manage without you, just this once."

As he'd hoped, this provocative statement brought a smile to the young archaeologist's face. "No way, Jack," Daniel answered dryly. "I'm okay. Really. Let's get on."

O'Neill grinned in reply and relaxed back into his seat. Yeah, things were fine, Danny would get over this little setback and the best thing for him right now was yet another ancient ruin. He toyed with those last words for a moment and then, with a mental laugh at his own sense of the ridiculous, turned his attention to the rest of the briefing.

oOo

As SG-1 stepped through the gate, they were met by strong sunlight and the warm, earthy smell of lush vegetation.

O'Neill swung around slowly, checking a full 360 degrees, alert for any movement in the surrounding forest. He was not surprised to see Carter and Teal'c taking the same precautions, and even less surprised when Daniel moved off towards the ruined building without a second thought.

"Daniel, hold on," he shouted in annoyance. "Wait for one of us."

The young man halted in his tracks and looked back at him absentmindedly. "Oh, yeah. Sorry, Jack," he called as he started to return.

"I can find no sign of habitation or alien presence," Teal'c reported from the far side of the gate.

"Me, neither, sir," confirmed Carter as she made her way across the clearing to rejoin him near the DHD.

"Okay then." O'Neill cast a last look around. "Carter, you and Teal'c make a quick survey out thataway." He waved his arm away from the temple. "Make a wide circle of the area and meet back here in three hours. I'll keep guard on our roving scientist here. We'll plan the rest of the recon when we eat later."

As the others left, he found Daniel standing next to him, sheltering his eyes from the strong sunlight that shone into the clearing around the temple.

"It looks vaguely Mayan," the young man commented as he gazed at the ruined building.

"Is that good?" O'Neill enjoyed playing this game. "Or just old?"

"Maybe both," Daniel answered calmly, his voice soothing in the strange surroundings. "Can we go now?"

"Yeah, come on, Danny boy," O'Neill groaned theatrically as he slapped his friend on the shoulder. "Let's go see what you can find in these...old rocks."

Daniel moved swiftly towards his goal, O'Neill following slowly, his gaze not always fixed on the surrounding trees. Why couldn't they find a civilised planet when they explored the gate system? he mused. Or at least a decent bar.

Seeing the archaeologist disappearing through a dark opening in the stonework, O'Neill groaned again and hurried to catch up. "Hey, Danny, wait. What's the hurry?"

oOo

Though he knew they hadn't been in the temple that long, all the scrambling around seemed to have lasted for hours to O'Neill. There was very little to find in the various rooms, though that was dignifying them with a rather grand title, he decided laconically.

Rocks and boulders littered the uneven stone floors, most of the roof having fallen in, and there were few carvings for Daniel to take an interest in. At least the place didn't smell as bad as some they'd visited; the open-plan architecture was a real gift.

"Hey, Danny. Have you seen enough yet?" he shouted as he stared up at what was left of the roof, a tall pinnacle of rough stonework that ran the length of the rear wall.

There was no answer and, sighing deeply, he turned back to look for his missing friend. It hadn't taken long to discover that, though the building was very large, there was little internal structure, just a large inner hall with a few small rooms leading off.

"Jack," a voice echoed from across the hall, "Jack, come here."

Glancing around, he surmised that Daniel was on the far side of a mound of rubble, and he moved off in that direction, easily finding his team-mate in a small cell-like room in the corner.

"Well, what is it?" he asked tiredly. "Don't tell me, you've found a -"

Daniel didn't even let him finish. "If this is what I think it is, Jack," he started excitedly, "you and everyone back home are going to be satisfied for once."

O'Neill narrowed his eyes and hid his amusement as he took in the return of the real Dr Jackson. "Okay," he drawled as annoyingly as he could, "I'll bite. Just what have you found?"

"Wait. Stay right there, while I...while I move round the other side," Daniel stammered in his excitement. "You won't believe this unless you see it."

O'Neill blew out his cheeks as Daniel scampered through the doorway, and then resigned himself to waiting, as the sound of footsteps grew fainter. "Come on, Daniel, I'm not a patient man, you know. What the hell are you doing?"

There was no reply.

He listened carefully, trying to estimate Daniel's progress, but could hear nothing.

"Daniel?" he shouted loudly. "Daniel, what's going on? Just how long do I have to hang around in here?"

Again he listened. Nothing.

A cold hand seemed to slither up his spine. What if Daniel had fallen on all the debris lying about?

No, he would have cried out as he fell.

Well, if he hasn't fallen, then where is he? The cold voice of reason seemed to be yelling in his ear now.

At last a distant noise floated in on the sweet-smelling breeze.

A metallic clank.

It was the gate! Someone else was gating in!

God damn it! Daniel!

Spurred on by fear for his friend, O'Neill shot out of the room and across the rock-strewn floor, his feet finding safe surfaces as though guided by magic. As he clambered over the boulder piles he could hear the gate symbols locking, his skin crawling as he thought of all the various nasty scenarios that he could be facing when he got to the gate.

He bolted out into the sunlight and raced across the clearing only to find that his worst nightmare had not even approached this reality. It was the last sight he would ever have expected to see, and he couldn't believe it. However, his brain put it all together in less than a split second.

"Daniel, no!" he shouted in fury. "Daniel, don't you dare -"

But it was useless. Daniel hurried through the gate and was gone.

O'Neill raced faster.

Daniel, I am gonna kill you. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

Without a second thought, he leaped into the air and dived through the gate...

...which then closed, returning the forest clearing to the calm, peaceful scene that had first met the arrival of SG-1.

oOo

As he shot through the gate, O'Neill's first impression was of darkness and then an extremely hard surface; a hard surface that abruptly disappeared and turned into an armoured serpent guard falling to its knees.

"This is definitely not my lucky day," he groaned as he rolled to his feet, and promptly kicked his opponent in the head before it could get up. He was more than pleased to see the guard lose all further interest in the proceedings and collapse into a heap on the ground.

Looking around, he spotted Daniel lying near the DHD, and on closer inspection, he found a graze on the pale forehead. It seemed reasonable to assume that the guard had grabbed the young man when he had appeared through the gate, and then merely slammed him against the stonework.

"But he wasn't expecting me to come barrelling through like a cannonball, was he?" O'Neill muttered aloud, gently stroking the hair back from Daniel's face.

Daniel started to stir, groaning weakly.

With a watchful eye on the track that led into what looked like jungle, O'Neill held him still. "Easy now, easy now," he instructed as he picked up Daniel's glasses from the ground nearby. "I'm not gonna strangle you until you're fit enough to appreciate it."

"Jack?" the young man whispered, wiping one hand over his eyes and then accepting his glasses. "What are you doing here?"

O'Neill rose to his feet slowly. "Oh, you know how it is," he answered, his voice riddled with sarcasm. "I thought 'what a great idea of Daniel's. Let's go on an unauthorised trip through the gate system. Let's go meet some new aliens, have interesting experiences on hostile planets.' You know?"

Daniel put on his glasses and stared up at him. "You weren't supposed to follow me," he explained carefully.

Anger at the risk the young man had taken, and the fact that he had almost been killed, grew stronger within O'Neill. "Oh, neat plan, Danny. If I hadn't followed, just where would you be now?" he yelled, ignoring the wince of pain the noise obviously caused. "That snakehead would have made mincemeat of you, hell...he already has, by the look of you."

Standing up gingerly, Daniel pulled a face. "You're right...I know that, but it was a risk I was prepared to take." He raised his chin, his lips set in a determined line. "I understood what you and the general were telling me this morning. It wasn't right to expect others to take on a mission as dangerous as this. But I have rights too, Jack. And this is just something I have to do."

As the young man turned away towards the track, O'Neill grabbed his arm. "You are crazy, you know that?" he shouted in frustration. "Just what was I supposed to do?"

Daniel looked embarrassed and refused to meet his eyes. "I left you a note."

"You left me a -?" O'Neill was stunned. "You mean, you had this planned all along?" His voice incredulous, he felt like screaming. "Of all the hair-brained, stupid, idiotic - You do realise that you'll be thrown off the Stargate program for this, don't you?"

He broke off his tirade for moment to shout angrily, "And just what the hell do you think you're doing now?"

The young man moved away from him determinedly. "Now that I'm here, I'm going to find Sha're," he answered baldly. "Apophis must have a palace around here somewhere, and I'm going to get her out."

His voice rising vehemently, he surprised Jack by pulling his arm free.

"No way, Daniel," he objected, reaching out to catch hold of him again. "The only place you're going is back through that gate, so start dialling."

"No, Jack, no," Daniel cried as he backed away. "You don't understand, you didn't see her, you didn't talk to her." His voice was painfully raw. "Sha're's scared to death. Terrified all the time. And Ammonet is enjoying her pain. She's having to live with all the terrible things that Ammonet does, and it's killing her inside."

O'Neill could hardly bear the look of anguish in Daniel's eyes, but his own fear for his friend's life was stronger. "I do understand, but this is way too -"

"Risky?" Daniel interrupted coldly, straightening his shoulders. "Not to me, Jack. She's my wife. I'm responsible for her safety. I promised I would get her home. I promised that I would never stop looking for her. And this, as you have so kindly just pointed out, is now the only chance I have of keeping those promises."

"But, Daniel -"

"I'm not asking you to stay," the young man went on. "I'd rather you went back. I don't want to be responsible for you too."

His hand dropping to his side, O'Neill knew when he was beaten. Short of knocking Daniel on the head and carrying him through the gate, there was nothing else he could do.

He was floating that idea in his mind, reasoning that at least it would save their lives, when the decision was taken away from him. A clattering sound was approaching up the track and there was no time to open the gate.

"Quick," he rapped out. "Get his feet," he waved at the unconscious guard, "we've got to hide him. If we're gonna try this plan of yours, we have to give ourselves as much of a chance as we can."

They managed to wrestle the heavy body into the treeline surrounding the gate clearing, and they continued as far into the jungle undergrowth as they could without making too much noise.

Jack searched the body of the serpent guard and was relieved to find a zat gun. Holding it firmly in his hand, he led the way back to the edge of the clearing and watched the procession that emerged up the track.

"Oh, sweet," he groaned as he spotted their arch enemy, Apophis, surrounded by several jaffas and at least a dozen guards. Then he froze as Sha're came into sight.

A movement at his side quickened his heartbeat, but Daniel was just moving to get a better view. He looked across at the young man's expression, wondering just how stable he was at the moment, and saw the deep concentration of a man pushed almost beyond endurance.

Oh hell. It would be just like Danny to go right off the deep end if it looked like Sha're and Apophis were moving on again.

He was busy making plans to grab the young man and silence him, should he start to make a move, when it became obvious that that was not going to be the problem. The serpent guards moved to flank the approach to the Stargate, and Apophis stopped and motioned his wife to his side. The Goa'uld Lord reached out and cupped her face with his hands, drawing her into a deep kiss.

This was a goodbye.

O'Neill heard a moan escape from Daniel's lips but, as he turned to glare at his friend, it was stifled immediately, and his attention was drawn back to the gate as Apophis called out harshly and a tall jaffa began to dial in an address. Then he watched as Apophis, and most of his party, walked swiftly into the glowing, liquid event horizon.

"Well, that's -" he started to whisper as he turned to his companion, but his blood seemed to freeze in his veins when he found that he was conversing with thin air. Gritting his teeth, he wished that archaeologists could be trained to obey orders, or, at the very least, kept on a leash.

"Daniel?" he whispered harshly, rising slightly higher on his haunches to see if he could spot movement in the undergrowth. He was relieved, even in his anger, to find that he could track Daniel's progress and that he wasn't too far away. He seemed to be heading through the trees and tall shrubs towards the area where the track entered the jungle.

O'Neill groaned as he realised just what Daniel was planning. "Oh, for crying out loud," he muttered as he moved off. "Leash be dammed, I need a ball and chain."

He caught up with Daniel but only because the young man had stopped and was crouching by the track.

"We can ambush them here," Daniel said calmly. "There's only two guards and a jaffa left and we can deal with them."

"We?" O'Neill said with amazement. "Oh, no, Danny boy. You stay well out of this. You want a rescue, then keep right out of my way," he added shaking his head. "The things you get me into...I outta to have my head examined for even considering this."

Daniel hushed him. "They're coming."

They ducked even lower, and O'Neill raised the zat gun. At least there wouldn't be any witnesses to this act of gross stupidity, he thought with resignation.

oOo

As plans go, even wacky ones, this one wasn't too bad, O'Neill thought to himself afterwards as he stared down at the dead jaffa and his guard. He fired at them again and watched the bodies disintegrate. Pity one had managed to escape down the track though; it didn't leave them much time to get away. Feeling relatively pleased with himself, he turned around to get Daniel and Sha're moving, only to find that their luck had been two edged. Daniel was leaning over the body of his wife, shaking her.

"Sha're?" he called urgently. "Sha're?"

O'Neill dropped to his knees beside them, and placed his fingers against the young woman's neck. "She's still alive, Danny," he said reassuringly, feeling the steady pulsebeat. "Don't fall apart on me now."

"She caught a blast from the jaffa's staff weapon. It was a mistake," Daniel moaned in distress. "He was aiming at you and I hit him. He turned and the blast hit Sha're instead."

"You hit him?" Jack shot a quick glance at his friend, then went back to his examination of Sha're wound. "Way to go, Daniel."

"How bad is it?"

O'Neill grimaced as he parted the thin shift and gently probe the edges of the bruised and burned shoulder wound. "Well, it's not looking too good but, don't forget, Ammonet should keep her alive." If the disgusting little worm hasn't been damaged in there, he silently added, without much hope. "Come on, we have to get outta here."

He was about to stand up when Sha're opened her eyes. They glowed momentarily and then a gentle, brown gaze met his own. She looked confused and disorientated for a moment, but then her eyes moved and she saw the young man leaning over her.

"Dan-yel?" she murmured, her sweet voice husky with pain. "Is that you?"

Watching them, O'Neill held back on his urgent need to get moving, allowing Daniel to take his time in reassuring his wife that she had indeed been rescued. At least Ammonet seemed to be dormant for the moment, he mused with relief. It had probably been knocked about quite a lot, considering the damage.

He mentally crossed his fingers and hoped that the goa'uld would stay out of the way until he was in a better position to deal with it. However, in the end, he had to look away from the tender scene, his throat tight with an emotion he neither wanted to name nor had the time to acknowledge, and it was with shock that he saw distant lights moving through the trees.

"Come on, time's up," he ordered forcefully. "Let's go." He leaned down to help Sha're to her feet, stopping suddenly as she cried out in pain.

"Dan-yel," she moaned. "I cannot move. Go with Oneal. Get away, my love."

"No!" The young man grabbed her hands. "I can't...I won't leave you again."

O'Neill stared down the track and felt his stomach sink. He could hear marching feet now. "Well, it's too late to get through the gate anyway," he muttered, dropping down beside them again. "Let's just get under cover. Sha're, I'm sorry but this is gonna hurt."

With that he lifted the young woman into his arms and, ignoring the sharp gasp of pain that she couldn't hold back, quickly moved across the track and once again started into the thick jungle cover, following as Daniel led them away from the Stargate.

They made slow progress through the dense underbrush but, as they heard no sounds of pursuit, it didn't worry O'Neill too much. He was more concerned about Sha're; she had passed out again and he really didn't want to hurt her any more than necessary.

At last they came to a stream and he laid her down, Daniel immediately dropping to her side. "She's bleeding again."

O'Neill checked her pulse. "She'll be okay, Danny. The...the goa'uld will protect her," he said carefully, his hatred for the parasites not too far from the surface. "I'm a little more concerned about why those guards didn't come after us," he went on, looking back the way they had come.

"I've been thinking about that too," Daniel answered calmly. "And it occurs to me that they have no reason to think we're still here. I mean, they must think we've gone through the gate already."

O'Neill rose to his feet. "That's a really good thought, Daniel." He handed the young man the zat gun. "And I hope you're right, but just in case, I think I'll take a look around."

Daniel stuffed the weapon into his pocket. "Be careful, Jack."

"Yeah, right," O'Neill answered with unconcealed derision. "Like you're the expert."

A moan distracted them both as once again Sha're awoke. She opened her eyes and smiled as she saw Daniel. Raising her hand, she caught hold of him and kissed his fingers. "It is so good to see you again, my husband," she murmured.

Seeing the expressions on the young couple's faces, and feeling very uncomfortable, O'Neill shuffled his feet. "I'll...er...I'll just take that...that look around, Daniel. Okay?"

There was no reply, so he shrugged his shoulders and moved off, cursing as he found that he couldn't get the picture of Daniel and his wife out of his head.

oOo

Samantha Carter stared at the piece of paper in her hand, and wondered if the world had gone mad. She and Teal'c had arrived back at the Stargate and found the area deserted except for the MALP and their supplies. There had been no sign of the colonel or Daniel.

There had seemed no reason to worry and, while Teal'c had gone to find the others in the temple, she had started to prepare the camp, and that was when she had seen the note.

It had been tucked under a strap on Colonel O'Neill's pack and at first she had ignored it. Then, her woman's intuition stirring, she had been filled with a strange sense of foreboding and had picked it up and read it.

Jack,

I can't tell you how sorry I am about this, but I have to go after Sha're. I know I can't expect the rest of you to risk your lives too, so I've decided to go on my own. Please don't follow. I want you of all people to stay safe. I hope you understand. Sha're is so gentle and innocent, I have to try and get her out of the hell she's being put through. If I can get her away, I'll bring her back here. If I can't, then I'll have to put her out of her misery. I just can't live with the thought of her suffering centuries of the kind of evil the Goa'ulds delight in. If I die doing this, then so be it. It is my choice and I have to follow my conscience. My life now is so unbearable, I must resolve this problem before I can deal with the others. Just know that you are my greatest friend. I only hope that you can forgive me.

Daniel

oOo

Her hand shook as she took in the contents, her mind swiftly flashing through all the mental pictures it brought forth in abundance.

"There is no sign of them in the temple." Teal'c's voice shocked her out of her stupor, and she swung around to face him.

"Daniel's -" she swallowed deeply, clearing the tightness in her throat, "Daniel's gone after Sha're," she managed at last, waving the note at him before folding it and tucking it into her shirt pocket.

Teal'c stared at her and then at the gate, his face expressionless. "O'Neill must have followed him then," he said stoically. "Otherwise he would be here now."

Carter felt her stomach lurch as she had to accept what the jaffa was saying. "Holy Hannah," she breathed, "you're right. That's just what he would do."

Teal'c stared at her impassively. "I know the address symbols. We must follow."

"Wait!" Carter held up her hand. "What we should do is head straight back to the SGC and tell the general," she insisted incredulously. "We'll need backup and a lot more fire-power."

"If we go back, then we risk losing Daniel Jackson and Colonel O'Neill forever," Teal'c intoned calmly. "We will not be allowed to form a rescue party. They will only survive if they manage to escape on their own."

"But -"

"Captain Carter, the same parameters that stopped us from pursuing Apophis and Sha're before, still apply," he went on relentlessly. "The only way we can help is to follow them and hope that our late arrival will achieve the benefit of surprise."

Sam sank into a crouch, her mind shifting through everything Teal'c was saying. And, though she wished it were otherwise, she could find no fault with his logic.

So, if they were to go and help their friends, they'd better get on with it. And fast. However it did leave them with other problems to solve first.

"If we do go," she said thoughtfully, "what about our daily report to the SGC? General Hammond is expecting us to signal tonight."

The jaffa replied carefully, "We cannot make the report if we are not here. We will have to deal with that hot vegetable when we return."

Unable to prevent a smile, Carter corrected him. "That's 'hot potato', Teal'c, and I suppose you're right, but -" She sighed deeply. "- there's going to be hell to pay for this back home."

Silence answered her and she looked across to find Teal'c watching her with calm intent. "What?"

"Are you worried about what the general will do to us?"

She shook her head slowly. "No, well, yeah, in a way. But, thinking about it, there isn't much point, is there?"

Seeing the only response from the jaffa was a raised eyebrow, she continued, "I mean, we still have to face Apophis, rescue the others, and then find a way back here. And, well, don't you think those are enough worries to keep us going for the moment?"

Teal'c's lips curved, very slightly. "You are correct, Captain Carter."

"Okay, then. Let's get this show on the road. Start looking through the packs and see if we have any smoke canisters with us."

oOo

As O'Neill arrived back at their makeshift camp, he was well satisfied that Daniel's conclusion had been correct; no one was searching the jungle for them - at least, not this part anyway. With any luck at all, if they waited a while, they should be able to get back through the gate with only a short firefight with any sentry guards.

Morning light was beginning to edge through the treetops, making it much easier for him to see where he was going, and he cautiously peered into the glade to make sure he wasn't interrupting anything.

Sha're was leaning against a tree trunk, her eyes closed.

There was no sign of Daniel.

What the hell? Cursing, he quickly crossed to the young woman, and crouched down beside her. "Sha're, where's Daniel?" he asked urgently, shaking her.

Her eyes flickered open, and she shrank away from him, relaxing almost immediately. "Oneal," she breathed. "I am sorry, I thought you were -"

Jack shook his head. "That's okay, but where's Daniel?"

He watched as she turned her head and looked around. "He went looking for you, but I have been sleeping. I don't know how long ago."

With a deep sigh of disgust, O'Neill half rose, undecided about what he should do. "Ah, Danny, you keep on doing this to me," he moaned under his breath. "It's a wonder I'm still sane."

He started towards the brush, only to pull up short as he heard the harsh voice of Ammonet summoning him.

"Stop, human," the rasping voice ordered.

He turned slowly, the hairs on the back of his neck rising unpleasantly. "Ammonet," he acknowledged with disdain, though his skin crawled as he saw she had raised her hand towards him and that the orange stone in her ribbon device was glowing. "I wish I could say 'nice to see you again' but it isn't polite to lie through your teeth."

"Be quiet," she hissed, rising to her feet, "and drop the weapon."

Letting the gun slide to the ground, he was filled with a sudden dread. A hard knot of ice seemed to be forming in his chest, and he couldn't seem to breathe.

"Where's Daniel?" he asked bleakly.

"I haven't killed him," Ammonet replied with a calculating smile. "I have much planned for this Dan-yel. I find that my host reacts most...amusingly...when he is around, so I sent him to find food. However, I was hoping you would return before he did."

Relief flooding through him, O'Neill allowed his aching lungs to fill. "And why was that?" he countered, playing for time and scanning the undergrowth, praying for the familiar figure to walk into sight; the distraction could be just enough to let him get the drop on this obnoxious creature.

However, there was no sign of Daniel and, with resignation, he brought his gaze back to the beautiful woman holding him prisoner. "I mean, what could a slimy parasite like you," he continued acerbically, "possibly want with little ol' me?"

Ignoring his insults, her smile grew wider. "Absolutely nothing, human," she murmured as she moved a little closer. "Absolutely nothing."

The glowing stone burst into light and the power hit O'Neill straight between the eyes, the agony ripping his thoughts apart. He couldn't hold back the scream that wrenched itself from his throat, and then he dropped to the ground as his whole body seemed to catch fire.

Kneeling at her feet, he stared up into her glowing, heartless eyes. There was one last peak of incredible pain, and then nothing.

oOo

It was with a rush of nausea that O'Neill surfaced from the blackness, and he had to swallow heavily to control the urge to gag. Ignoring the body-wide ache caused by the ribbon device, he was wary of whatever could be waiting for him, and opened his eyes cautiously. All his senses seemed to kick in at once: the smell of rotting vegetation filling his nostrils, Ammonet's laughter telling him of her closeness. However, all he could see were the rough alien grasses immediately in front of his face, and the spots of his own blood as they dropped onto the ground. His nose was bleeding.

Amazed that he was still alive, he mentally checked himself over. Just how damaged was he? And how the hell was he going to get out of this?

A sharp blow over his kidneys had him arching in agony, a groan slipping between his lips before he could stop it. As the pain died away, he found himself lying on his back staring up into Sha're's beautiful brown eyes.

She looked very distressed, tears were running down her cheeks, but then her eyes glowed brightly and Ammonet was back in control.

"This is even more amusing than we would have thought possible." She smiled down at him, her full lips curving cruelly. "My host is greatly disturbed by your suffering. Why is that?"

Jack shook his head. "Beats me," he managed to say, his voice rough. "You just can't get hosts like you used to."

Again the woman laughed. "Oh, but my host serves me very well. She is so interesting in her tastes. And her fears." She stood several feet away from him, watching him avidly. "She fears we will kill you. And her husband."

O'Neill remained silent, unwilling to provide an opportunity for the goa'uld to prove her point.

"It is true, you were going to die," Ammonet went on, "but now you interest us. It will be more entertaining to play for a while. And, of course, this Dan-yel will be back soon."

"Oh brother," O'Neill sighed, grimacing with disgust, "just what I need to make my -"

Another bolt of energy interrupted his words, the vicious power leaving him bereft of speech. Jagged lightning flashed over his skin, stealing his breath; his arms and legs jerked frantically, lifting his body off the ground. Then it stopped.

Vaguely wishing he had passed out, O'Neill lay defenceless before his tormentor, his muscles too weak to obey even the simplest of commands. The echoes of pain were slow to dissipate and he felt his anger increase as he railed at his own impotence.

Ammonet moved nearer and stamped on his hand.

Curling up into a ball, he cradled his fingers against his stomach, screwing up his eyes and biting his lip. Sweat was springing freely to his skin, and he knew deep, deep abiding hatred.

"Look at us," the rasping voice commanded. "We wish to see your pain."

He couldn't help it; even though he knew it was what she wanted, he glared up at her and yelled venomously, "Go to hell, snakebitch."

Her coarse laughter rang in his ears and it was with resignation that he watched as she raised the glowing stone towards him once again.

"Oh, my dear Sha're, you will really enjoy this," she cried out with delight. "He will be made to grovel at our feet and beg for his life."

The blast of energy hit his legs this time, the pain bringing tears to his eyes, his body convulsing as the power moved higher. He shouted out in agony, the muscles in his neck stretching as he threw his head back and writhed on the ground at her bidding.

And then it was over and he could hear Daniel shouting. As the pain dwindled to something approaching bearable, he began to make out the words.

"That's enough, Ammonet," Daniel was saying harshly. "Back away and leave him alone."

O'Neill shook the sweat from his eyes and, raising himself up on an elbow, looked across the small clearing. Daniel, his face white with fury, had Ammonet covered with the zat gun.

"Human, you are pathetic," Ammonet replied scornfully, though O'Neill noticed she obeyed and moved away slightly. "You could never hurt my host. You too will kneel at our feet and whimper for your life."

"Never," Daniel answered forcefully. "Let me speak with Sha're."

Ammonet smiled. "She will not talk to you. She is afraid."

O'Neill saw the terror in Daniel's eyes, and ached for him, but he couldn't let the young man be distracted by mind games.

"That's right, lie through your teeth," he interrupted as he pushed himself shakily to his feet; none of his muscles seemed completely under his control. "Has it ever occurred to you to seek help for this power complex?"

"Let me speak to Sha're," Daniel demanded again, his voice rising with anger.

Ammonet turned away, waving her hand dismissively. "There would be no point, human," she said, the scorn in her voice obvious and, her face a picture of triumph, she shot her hand out towards Jack again.

Even before he had time to duck O'Neill saw Daniel fire, and the energy beam from the ribbon device shut off abruptly, Ammonet dropping to the ground.

The silence was absolute, the jungle seeming to close in around them like a cloak. Jack found he was breathing very deeply, the battle was over so suddenly.

"Are you all right, Jack?"

He stared at Daniel. "Hell, no," he answered loudly, hiding his relief behind the cover of apparent annoyance. "I feel like I've been run over by a truck. A very big truck."

"She worked you over pretty good, didn't she," the young man muttered as he walked towards him. "Sha're must have been so..." He didn't finish the terrible thought. Instead he put a hand on Jack's shoulder and asked, "Are you gonna be able to move okay?"

O'Neill watched him carefully, his concern relating more to Daniel's calm demeanour rather than his own injuries. "What about -" he began to say, but then his heart leaped into his throat as he saw Ammonet rise up swiftly behind his friend.

"Behind you!" he yelled as he dropped to the ground, trying to pull Daniel down with him.

The sound of the zat gun sizzled in the air.

O'Neill screwed up his eyes but knew he would have to look eventually, and knowing what he would see did not make the sight any easier to take. Raising his head, he watched as Daniel sank slowly to his knees beside the dead body of his wife.

Feeling as though someone had taken a knife and gutted him, he couldn't take his eyes from Daniel's face. The young man picked up a lifeless hand and bent over it, his lips moving silently as though he were trying to speak. Jack had only felt this kind of agony once before, and he wished he could do something, anything, to save Daniel from such soul-wrenching pain.

But Sha're was gone. Nothing could change that. And Daniel had killed her.

He couldn't see Daniel's face now but he didn't need to. He knew the young man was devastated; he had spent the last two years searching for his love and now... He looked away, dropping his forehead onto his hands, allowing himself a moment to grieve. He refused to think about what he was grieving for, he just knew that they had all lost something that could never be found again.

His desolate musings were interrupted by the sound of the zat gun, and he sat up quickly to find Daniel standing alone, staring at nothing. Sha're's body had gone.

He was stunned. "For God's sake -?"

Daniel raised a hand and waved it ineffectually. "We could hardly have taken...taken her back with us, could we," he said quietly, seemingly unaware of the tears running down his cheeks. "And if Apophis finds the body, he'll put her...put her in a sarcophagus. And I couldn't let that -"

At last the young man gave in to the emotion that was racking him and started to sob quietly.

O'Neill stood up and wrapped his arms around him. "It's okay, Danny," he muttered into the dark blond hair. "Let it out. Let it all out."

They stood in the embrace for long minutes, O'Neill feeling his own eyes well up with tears as he listened to Daniel crying. But eventually the emotional storm died down and the young man slowly pushed him away. O'Neill let him go.

"Sorry," he croaked weakly. "I...I...It was all too much," he added, "Seeing her torture you...and Sha're... She would have been hating all that so much, Jack. She knew what a good man you are. She couldn't hurt anyone. It must have been so..."

"I know, Danny, I know," O'Neill replied soothingly. "Sha're was a sweet, loveable young woman, and this should never have happened to her."

Daniel straightened his shoulders and wiped his eyes with his sleeve, then met Jack's concerned gaze. "I guess...I guess we should try and get back."

Seeing the shadows of horror lurking in the depths of the wide, blue eyes, tears still caught in the long lashes, O'Neill knew a soul-shattering horror of his own and felt his throat close tightly.

"Yeah," he muttered roughly, reaching down and picking up Daniel's pack. "Let's get outta here."

He led the way back through the jungle towards the Stargate, his spirits so low they seemed to drag at his feet. He could hear Daniel stumbling along behind him, and knew that he wasn't fairing much better himself. His legs ached, his chest hurt; hell, his whole body felt like it had been through a grinder.

Suddenly assailed by the memory of Daniel leaning over Sha're's body, he had to squeeze his eyes shut against the picture.

Well, O'Neill, his internal voice cackled heartlessly, so much for your dreams. So much for all those wishful longings you refused to acknowledge. You have no chance now, do you.

He wanted to deny that he had ever had any hopes, that he had ever wished that Danny would come to feel something more than simple friendship for him, but even as he tried to silence the insidious voice, he knew he was fooling himself. He couldn't argue with the truth any longer. The voice was right. Any chance there might have been was gone. Daniel had killed Ammonet, and Sha're, to save Jack's life. And now there was no way Danny would ever look at him without remembering the price he had paid to keep him alive.

Though he wanted nothing more than to shout his anger and frustration to the skies, O'Neill marched on doggedly, gritting his teeth, ignoring the protests of his abused body and praying for something to kill.

oOo

Carter surveyed the scene of destruction and grinned at Teal'c. "Well, that worked okay."

"Indeed," the jaffa agreed, "most satisfactory."

The bodies of several serpent guards lay untidily in front of the Stargate, the smoke from the discarded canisters still hanging faintly in the air.

"We'd better get moving." She pointed down the track. "Heaven knows what kind of trouble the guys found when they came through."

His face expressionless, Teal'c raised his staff weapon. "Apophis will have a palace here. That is where we will need to search for Colonel O'Neill and Daniel Jackson."

"If they're still alive," Sam pointed out, unable to conceal her worry.

Teal'c glanced across at her. "Captain Carter, we are here to find them. Do not let yourself be distracted by things we cannot control."

"When you're right, you're right, Teal'c," Sam answered firmly, her heart warming to the jaffa's straightforward manner.

Teal'c raised his eyebrows. "That would seem to be a redundant statement, Captain. Am I missing something?"

With a grin, Carter shook her head. "No, I doubt you miss anything these days, Teal'c. Come on, let's hide these bodies."

Unfortunately, before they could begin, they heard the last sound they wanted to hear. The Stargate began to cycle.

"We'd better get as far away as we can while we have the time," Sam shouted as she headed for the jungle. "We'll use the track for as long as we can. The undergrowth looks thick enough to hide us if we hear someone coming. But whoever comes through the gate is going to be pretty upset by all those bodies back there."

"I concur," Teal'c answered calmly as they broke into a run. "They will start a search for us immediately. I fear our task has just become even more difficult."

Carter rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks," she muttered as they pounded along the jungle track, leaving the scene of their crime to greet whoever came through the Stargate.

oOo

O'Neill cursed as he fell to his knees, the staff weapon catching him hard across the back of his legs. Frowning as he looked around at all the activity in front of the Stargate, he staggered slightly as Daniel was pushed down beside him. He put out a hand to steady him.

"You okay?" he whispered, his concern about the young man's state of mind almost as important to him as their present unfortunate circumstances.

Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose. "What's going on? Where did they all come from?"

O'Neill had been wondering the same thing, but knew he had to take most of the responsibility for their easy capture himself. His mind had definitely not been on the job.

"Sorry," he answered, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm not exactly firing on all cylinders at the moment."

Daniel nudged his arm. "It's not surprising with what you've just been through," he said reasonably, then nodded to one side. "But how are we going to deal with him?"

O'Neill looked over to where Apophis was standing. "Yeah, well, leave the talking to me," he said gruffly, then he grimaced as he thought over the words he knew he had to say now.

"Er...Daniel?" he began softly, "we can't let them know what happened here. If he finds out about Ammonet, we're finished."

He watched Daniel's expressionless face as the young man took in all the implications. There was a moment of distress in the blue eyes when he obviously relived the worst horror, but then he visibly pulled himself together.

"Okay," he answered slowly, "but I guess we're as good as dead anyway."

"Now, now, Danny, no more talk like that," O'Neill said roughly. "Besides, look over there."

Tipping his head slightly in the direction of the objects that had just caught his attention, his spirits rose as he realised what they meant. It wasn't just the four dead serpent guards piled untidily behind the Stargate that cheered him, it was the grey SGC smoke canisters lying beside them that gave him hope. "Recognise the logo?" he whispered.

"Oh, yeah," Daniel replied lightly. "Where do you think they are?"

O'Neill's lips curved at the tone of absolute trust and belief in the young man's voice; it was obvious that Daniel had no doubts as to the identity of who had come through the gate.

"It beats me," he answered, "but they have to be in a better position than us."

"Be silent," a rasping voice commanded them.

O'Neill turned his head and looked up into the glowing eyes of his worst enemy. "Oh, hi, Apophis," he said brightly. "Lost any good ships lately?"

The blow from a staff weapon knocked him face down at the Goa'uld Lord's feet, and he shook his head as he pushed himself back up onto his knees, murmuring, "Thought as much."

"Where is my Queen?" Apophis demanded imperiously. "What have you done with her?"

O'Neill squinted up at him. "I guess if I said I have no idea what you're talking about, you wouldn't believe me, would you?"

Again he felt the full weight of the staff weapon across his back. Rising more slowly this time, he held up his hand to ward off any more abuse. "Hey, hey, hey, wait a moment here," he called out hastily. "We can't tell you what we don't know."

Apophis glared. "You kidnapped Ammonet. You were seen. Where is she?"

O'Neill shrugged his shoulders. "Must have been some other kidnappers. It wasn't us."

The Goa'uld Lord howled his anger, then raised his hand. "Tell me what you have done with Ammonet or I shall kill you now." The crystal in his palm began to glow.

"Oh, for crying out loud," O'Neill groaned, his skin crawling at the sight; he'd seen more than enough of those damn things to last him a lifetime. "Now there you go," he remonstrated dryly, "not thinking again. If you really believe that we know where she is, then how the hell can you kill us?"

Apophis raised his chin and smiled. "If you don't tell me, then I shall kill him," he rasped, pointing his ribbon device at Daniel who looked back at him, wide-eyed.

"Er...Jack?"

"Don't sweat it, Danny," O'Neill answered calmly, staring straight into Apophis' eyes. "Old Snake Lord here can't kill you. You see, he doesn't know for certain which one of us may or may not know where his Queen is. I say I don't know, you say you don't know," he continued blithely, wondering just how long he could keep this up, "so what happens if he kills the one who does know - if he does know, that is?"

He glanced across at Daniel and shrugged apologetically as he caught the look of disbelief in the young man's eyes. Well, what had he expected? Einstein?

The silence was broken by a howl of rage, and then Apophis swung away in a temper, shouting orders to his guards. As his men started to bustle about, he turned back. "You will tell me," he screamed. "My jaffas will beat it out of you. Now go."

He raised his arm and pointed down the track.

Dragged roughly to his feet, O'Neill winced as his hands were tied tightly behind his back, Daniel receiving the same treatment. Then they were forced to march in the middle of a pack of serpent guards as they left the Stargate clearing.

After some time, Daniel tripped and fell against him, tumbling them both to the ground.

"I can't believe you tried that," the young man muttered under his breath as they scrambled inelegantly to their feet.

O'Neill snorted. "It worked, didn't it? We're still alive."

"Yeah, but for how long?" Daniel asked bleakly. "I doubt we're gonna like what happens when we get to -" He broke off, gasping as he was pushed roughly from behind, and then they were marching again.

Not wanting to think about what might await them at the end of their journey, O'Neill concentrated on watching for any signs of Carter or Teal'c. He was assuming they would have set up some kind of ambush along the trail, and didn't want to miss any signals. However, he was doomed to disappointment and, as he and Daniel were driven forcefully through the large entranceway into Apophis' domain, he began to wonder seriously about what could have happened to the rest of SG-1.

oOo

"Well, this is nice."

The sarcasm was heavy, even for O'Neill, but the cell they had been pushed into had to be one of the most unpleasant places he had ever had the misfortune to encounter, and he'd seen quite a few. Oh yeah.

"Still," he went on, as he inspected the room, "things could be worse."

"How?"

O'Neill looked over at his team-mate, not missing the depth of despondency in both his voice and his body language. The young man wandered across the cold, damp cell and sat down in the far corner, drawing his knees up tight to his body. It was a classic defensive posture, speaking both of fear and hopelessness.

"Ah, come on, Danny boy," he cajoled heartily, moving over to join him. "Where there's life, there's hope. Don't give up on me now."

Sliding down the wall to sit beside his friend, he sighed with relief as his aching muscles at last gave him a break; they had been protesting their abuse for so long, he'd almost forgotten what it felt like.

"They must be dead, Jack," Daniel whispered softly, his head bent over to rest on his knees. "They must have been caught in that fire-fight."

"No," O'Neill denied vehemently, having no trouble in understanding who Daniel was referring to, but he was very disturbed all the same. Not so much by the words but with the way Daniel had said them. "Apophis would never have missed the opportunity to gloat. He'd have shown us the bodies and taken great pleasure in laughing in our faces," he added firmly.

Daniel raised his head and looked across at him. "You're right," he muttered, his eyes brightening considerably, but then he frowned. "But then...where are they?" he asked.

Pulling a face, O'Neill rubbed the back of his head. "I have no idea, Danny, but you can bet they're out there, trying to find us. Don't worry. It wouldn't take a genius to guess where we'd be held, now would it?"

Seeing the smile on Daniel's lips, he was pleased to see that his words were having a beneficial effect, but he could only wish that he felt as certain as he sounded; he was rather worried about Sam and Teal'c, and their current whereabouts.

His unhappy musings were interrupted as the heavy door to their cell was opened and several jaffas entered. All too quickly they dragged Daniel to his feet and hurried him from the room, leaving O'Neill behind, cursing their ancestry and their souls as he slammed his fists against the door.

The time passed all too slowly and O'Neill was almost driving himself mad. He stalked about the cell, unable to sit still, trying not to think about what could be happening. But his mind refused to co-operate and he was inundated with visions of such unspeakable horror that he was ready to tear down the walls with his bare hands.

When, at last, the door was opened and Daniel was carried in and dropped unceremoniously on the floor, it was as though all his worst fears had been realised.

"Daniel?" He dropped to his knees beside him as the guards slammed the door closed.

The young man lay seemingly lifeless, there was blood on his face and his clothes. O'Neill didn't know if he dared touch him; he couldn't tell whether he would be doing more damage. In the end, he gently started to feel Daniel's limbs, trying to detect any broken bones, and it was with great relief that he finally came to the conclusion that at least Daniel had been spared that much.

Deciding that he couldn't do anything more for the time being he settled on the floor, lifting the young man's head into his lap and stroking the soft hair back from the pale and bloodied face.

"Ah, Danny," he murmured, "what the hell have you ever done to deserve all this. You must have been really wicked in an earlier life."

oOo

It must have been a couple of hours later when Daniel started to stir, mumbling under his breath and twisting as though trying to escape some unseen terror. He woke up with a cry, and O'Neill had to grab hold of him tightly to stop him from hurting himself.

"Oh, God, Jack," the young man gasped as he came to his senses. "Have they gone?" He stared around the room as though expecting to see his torturers.

"Easy, Daniel, easy," Jack insisted urgently, trying to soothe him. "There's only me here. You're safe." For the moment, he thought angrily, wanting nothing more than to get his hands on the men who had done this. "How bad are you hurt?" he asked as he gently pushed him back to the floor. He could see that Daniel was holding his stomach.

"They...they beat the crap outta me," the young man confessed hoarsely, turning his head away as though ashamed. "But I didn't tell them. I never...I never said a word. Though I might have yelled a lot," he added as an afterthought.

O'Neill reached out and ruffled his hair. "Good boy," he remarked in a low voice. "I knew I could count on you."

Daniel stared up at him, his eyes dark with pain. "How long...how long can we hold out though?" he asked bleakly. "If they keep this up, I don't know..."

"Now don't think about it. I'll get us out of here somehow." It was O'Neill's turn to look away; he couldn't stand to see the expression of hopelessness on Daniel's face.

The door flew open suddenly and the jaffas appeared again. O'Neill was on his feet immediately, placing himself in front of his injured companion, determined to protect Daniel from more punishment.

However, it became apparent that his protection wasn't necessary, this time they had come for him. He could hear Daniel shouting his name as he was dragged from the cell.

Pushed and prodded down the long, dark passageways, O'Neill couldn't help feeling apprehensive even though he was glad that it wasn't Daniel in his place. He knew he was more capable of handling the kind of trouble these jaffas were dishing out, though he wished he was in better shape; he was still feeling rough from his run-in with Ammonet.

Reaching a tall archway, he could see into the large, well-lit room beyond. He sighed deeply. Oh, if it wasn't his favourite Serpent God.

A shove from behind forced him to enter and then Apophis was beckoning him. He ambled forward.

"Tell me where my Queen is and you will be executed swiftly," the Goa'uld Lord offered harshly. "Keep your secrets and know a painful death."

O'Neill stuffed his hands in his pockets and lazily inspected the other occupants of the room; there were at least ten serpent guards as well as numerous jaffas. "I see I'm spoilt for choice here," he commented briefly, pursing his lips. "Let me see, either I die or...I die." He frowned at Apophis. "You see, that doesn't sound like much of a choice to me. Can't you come up with a better deal? Something including the word life would be nice."

Apophis' eyes glowed brightly. "Your insolence will not save you," he warned sternly. "My jaffas will loosen your tongue, then I will know the truth and you will end your days in never-ending agony."

O'Neill winced overtly. "It was just a thought."

Waving his hand sharply, Apophis motioned his men, and four serpent guards moved to grab O'Neill by his arms. Though he didn't give up without a fight, he was soon overpowered and the jaffas closed in.

There was little he could do; he was held so tightly he couldn't move, couldn't avoid the heavy blows that rained down on him. He ceased to struggle in the end; he simply let it all happen. Rolling with the punches, he diverted as much of the pain as he could into a closed part of his mind, pushing it away to be dealt with later; a trick he had learned whilst on black ops. However, he couldn't stifle it all and soon he was groaning with each attack on his body.

Then he heard the yells and, realising they were his own, he gave in to the encroaching blackness, his last thought only that being knocked unconscious twice in one day was more than anyone ought to have to deal with at his age.

oOo

The first thing he was aware of as he swam back to consciousness was that he felt warm. More than that, he felt warm and comfortable. Something warm was wrapped around him, and he felt very...safe. The strangeness of that sentiment worried him slightly; he was not usually given to such flights of fancy, but he couldn't turn away from the feeling of comfort. It was too...pleasant. Yeah, that was the right word, he mused as he drifted in his dream-state.

"Jack?"

That was his name, so shouldn't he answer? he wondered lazily. And didn't that voice sound familiar?

Yes, it sounded like Daniel, but what would he be doing here?

Daniel!

His memory coming back in one large and very unpleasant lump, O'Neill started up only to find that he was caught in some sort of vice which, upon investigation, appeared to consist of Daniel's arms. He froze, and then relaxed very slowly, returning to the welcome embrace, cursing the need that he couldn't find the strength to deny, though he knew he should.

"How are you feeling?" Daniel asked, his concern a soothing balm to O'Neill's wildly racing thoughts.

"Er...I'm not sure," he answered with truth; he couldn't feel anything but Daniel at the moment. He shifted slightly. "Let me up."

As the arms loosened, he mourned the loss even as he welcomed the return of his sanity. But he shook off the lingering weakness and tried to climb to his feet. Ah, he thought sharply, that's not good news.

It appeared that the vice had not been totally due to Daniel's embrace after all; his whole body was an agony of bruised muscles and raw nerve endings. He allowed himself to be lowered back to the floor of the cell, Daniel steadying him as he bit back a groan.

"That was definitely not a good idea," he confessed tightly, once he could trust his voice. "I think I'll just sit here for a while."

He felt Daniel's arm close around him again, and gave into temptation, leaning against the young man and drawing on his strength. God, it felt good. It felt more than that; it felt wonderful. What wouldn't he give to have the right to enjoy this any time he felt like it.

Jesus, what the hell was he doing? It was as though he'd been doused with a bucket of cold water as he realised just how far he'd let himself slip into wishful thinking. He must be insane.

He tried to shrug the arm away.

"Keep still, Jack," Daniel murmured close to his ear. "You'll only hurt yourself. And I think you've played the stoic warrior enough for one day, don't you?"

"I'm okay, Daniel," he said more harshly than he'd intended. "I don't need all the fuss."

The arm was removed, Daniel apologising immediately. "I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to -"

"Stop," O'Neill interrupted tiredly. "I'm the one that's sorry. I shouldn't have snapped like that." Looking at Daniel, he smiled weakly. "I'm a terrible patient, just ask Fraiser, she'll tell you."

Daniel returned the smile. "I know. She tells everyone."

O'Neill plastered a scandalised expression on his face. "Hey, whatever happened to doctor patient confidentiality?" he complained, the banter a handy way to defuse the tension.

"Jack, anyone who has ever been in the infirmary when you've been a patient, knows how much you hate being in there," the young man pointed out with amusement. "You're not exactly known for hiding your feelings on the subject."

"Yeah, well," Jack muttered with embarrassment, a discussion about the state of his feelings - whether they were the ones he hid or not - was not something he felt comfortable with, "I get better quicker in my own home. Most people do."

Daniel said nothing, though he did smile again.

Resting peacefully at last, O'Neill closed his eyes. However, it was only a short while before he remembered where they were, and why. He tried to stop his thoughts from dwelling on their predicament, but knew that he would have to find some way out soon or Apophis might just make good on his threats. And he was damn sure he wasn't going to let that worm-ridden son of a bitch win this time. Not when they'd cooked his goose so many times before.

His mind full of the many ways he would love to put an end the Serpent God's reign of terror, he began to doze, pictures of Apophis in a bubbling vat of oil making his lips curve.

The shock that suffused him as the cell door slammed open, caused him to bolt upright, and he groaned as a wave of cramps seized his body. He tried to move in front of Daniel again, wanting to save the young man from another bout of pain, but his selflessness wasn't necessary; the jaffas dragged them both out this time.

oOo

Frowning in concentration, Carter stared down at Apophis' palace and the two sentries at the enormous gates, her thoughts rapidly searching for some plan that had a more than fifty-fifty chance of getting them inside. So far she was coming up empty.

"Dammit, Teal'c, if only we'd known," she muttered, referring to her dismay when she had realised that their friends had only just been captured.

The jaffa turned from his own inspection of the building. "I do not see how dwelling on what cannot be changed will help us, Captain Carter," he said tonelessly. "We must enter the palace and free Colonel O'Neill and Daniel Jackson."

For the first time since she had seen her friends being herded by the serpent guards, Carter relaxed. Teal'c was right. They had to forget about what might, or should, have been, and get on with working out how to rescue them.

"I guess we'll have to wait for nightfall, and then try and find a way in, avoiding the guards. It's gonna take us quite a while to search that place, though, and..."

Teal'c shook his head. "We cannot wait. I do not think that Apophis will remain patient with Colonel O'Neill until the sun goes down."

Carter saw his point; Jack really did seem to delight in annoying the Serpent God. All the same... "But, Teal'c," she disputed, "how else can -"

"Wait here," he said brusquely. "Sometimes the old ways are the best."

Frozen in amazement, she watched as the jaffa stood up and walked out from their hiding place, crossing the open ground quite brazenly until he was face to face with the sentry guards.

She could not hear what he said to them, but then his plan became all too apparent. With a flick of his staff weapon, he promptly struck one sharply in the stomach, causing him to double over, and then hit the other guard across the face. Within the space of two deep breaths he had disarmed and subdued them both.

She shook her head; the old ways are the best indeed.

Loping across the open ground, she joined Teal'c. "Master Bra'tak?" she said obliquely.

Teal'c allowed his lips to curve upwards and nodded, but he soon reverted to the business at hand. "We must remove these bodies and then search the palace. It would be appropriate for us to wear this serpent armour."

Unable to fault his reasoning, Carter swiftly started to climb into the heavily armoured garb the jaffa removed from the shortest serpent guard. "What happens when they notice the guards are missing?" she asked breathlessly, as she struggled with the unwieldy clothing.

After putting on his own serpent uniform, Teal'c fired his zat gun three times at the two bodies, and watched impassively as they vanished into thin air. "Then our time will have run out," he answered shortly.

"Let's go then," she said briskly, and they both clashed their helmets shut and entered through the huge doors.

Part Two

"Okay, okay," O'Neill yelled defiantly. "Just...just give me a minute here."

Keeping his eyes away from the sight of Daniel on his knees in front of Apophis, not wanting to let the Goa'uld know just how much this was getting to him, O'Neill racked his brains. What the hell could he come up with to save Danny?

"You want Ammonet back, right?" he started slowly, "and you think we know where she is."

"Enough," Apophis interrupted sharply. "You took her at the Stargate. I know this."

An idea suddenly presented itself and O'Neill swallowed hard; it was a risk but it was the only thing he had come up with that might save them.

"You're right," he confessed, enjoying the look of surprise on his tormentor's face. "We took Sha're. But I'm afraid we're never gonna tell you where she is. She's somewhere safe where you'll never get her."

Apophis' eyes grew round and then sparked into life, his anger burning brightly. "Then I will see that you watch your friend here die a thousand deaths for your arrogance."

"Go ahead." O'Neill waved a hand. "Daniel would prefer that to letting you get your hands on his wife."

If he hadn't seen it with his own eyes, he would never have believed that Apophis could get any angrier. The Serpent Lord swung away in fury and shot out his hand, bathing Daniel in his wrath.

Hold on, Danny, O'Neill begged silently. He kept an expression of complete disinterest on his features, making sure that Apophis could see that the torture of his friend was not going make him change his mind, though Daniel's screams were tearing at his insides like sharp knives.

He made himself look down at the writhing body, holding himself tightly in check as he saw the agony on the young man's face. Oh God, would Daniel ever forgive him?

Yes, his own mind told him harshly. If this works - if you both survive - Daniel will understand that it was the only way.

Glancing back up at Apophis, O'Neill shrugged his shoulders and slipped his hands into his pockets, giving every impression of unconcern.

The Goa'uld Lord gave a grunt of disgust and dropped his hand. Staring at O'Neill, his fury still burning as bright as ever, he narrowed his eyes. "So, you care nothing for this man?" he hissed. "But how does he feel about you? He has always appeared so passionate. I do not think he will be as unmerciful."

Thank God, O'Neill silently prayed, closing his eyes as Apophis waved for his jaffas to come forward and lift Daniel to his feet. The young man groaned as he struggled against them weakly.

Just don't blow this now, Danny, he thought desperately, knowing that there was still a risk here; the young man was exceptionally kind-hearted. It's the only way I can think of to get us out of this mess for the moment.

Apophis smiled at him confidently, O'Neill's reaction obviously pleasing him. "I see you are not so certain of your friend. You are his weakness, maybe?"

Yeah, right!

Again O'Neill made his expression blank. "He won't tell you anything," he replied with a bored tone, hoping he was telling the truth. "Isn't that right, Daniel?"

Apophis didn't wait to hear any answer; he held up his hand and there was a flash of light. O'Neill barely had time to take a breath before he was hurled backwards against the wall, the blast picking him up as though he were a child.

Shaking his head slowly, the first thing he became aware of was Daniel shouting his name. He looked up to see the young man fighting with two jaffas.

"Think, Danny," he roared, hoping that his friend would start using that fine mind of his and begin to work out what he was doing.

As he gained his feet, another burst of energy struck him and he found himself lying on the floor yet again. However, this time there was no shouting. Daniel no longer struggled with his captors; he just stood silently in their grasp and stared at him, his eyes full of misery.

That's right, Danny, stay out of it, O'Neill thought as he pushed himself to his feet again. Leave this to me.

Though his body felt like it was on fire, he managed to straighten up and face Apophis, taking in the flushed, angry expression with a great deal of pleasure. There was nothing he liked more than annoying this bastard. Well, no, that wasn't exactly true; he would definitely prefer killing him, but then...the day wasn't over yet.

Apophis spoke again, to Daniel. "You can save your friend. He does not need to suffer like this." Jack only had time to see the look of mental anguish on the young man's face before he was lifted off his feet by the next blast.

Hold on, Danny boy, he muttered to himself, as he lay motionless on the stone floor, trying to catch his breath. He stayed there as long as he dared, wanting to recoup as much strength as he could before he had to return to this dangerous battle of wits. Then, not wanting Daniel to panic, he rolled over and got to his knees, looking up and sending him a wry smile.

The young man was now standing free; the jaffas had obviously been told to let him go. He had his arms wrapped tightly around his body and he was swaying slightly, his eyes downcast. Jack became aware that he had never seen Daniel so...distressed.

However, at least he knew that Daniel had got the message; that if they wanted to stay alive then neither of them could say anything, no matter the cost. And O'Neill had had more training in withstanding physical torture.

Another blast sent him spinning into a stone column, and he could have sworn he heard bells that time. Perhaps concussion wasn't to be wondered at, he thought tiredly, as he got to his feet, only to be struck again. And again.

Finally, he didn't bother getting up. Apophis must have got the message by this time, he told himself hopefully, and for once it appeared that he might be lucky. There were no more attacks.

The only sound in the room was Daniel's quiet sobbing and it tore at O'Neill. He raised his head and saw that Apophis had gone, obviously in a temper because his plan had failed. He wondered what the Serpent Lord would come up with next, but then banished the thought from his mind as unproductive.

A tall jaffa moved behind Daniel and shoved him, herding him towards Jack and motioning to some of the serpent guards. "Pick him up," he ordered, waving a hand. "Then take them to their cell. Our Lord wants them to think over their future. Or lack of it."

"Any chance of room service," O'Neill gasped out as he was dragged to his feet. "We haven't eaten in a while."

He took the jaffa's sneer of disgust as a victory before he was grabbed and pushed from the room.

The serpent guards were brutal in the handling of their prisoners, and O'Neill could barely keep up with the pace they set. He was aware of Daniel at his side, but that was all. He seemed to spend an incredible amount of time on his knees, or bouncing off the walls, and had the strangest feeling that he kept seeing double.

After yet another fall and struggle against unkind hands, he suddenly found himself being carried, and blessed his luck. Obviously one of the guards had got tired of his clumsiness and had solved the problem in his own way.

There was a sudden brightness and he had to squeeze his eyes shut. He was just becoming aware of a cooling breeze and the sweet smell of foliage, when he felt himself being put down on what felt like a soft bed.

Oh yeah, he thought dreamily. A big, wide bed covered in crisp, clean, white linen with a deep feather mattress.

"Colonel?"

What now? he wondered. Can't a guy get a bit of peace?

"Colonel O'Neill?"

Why the hell can't everyone just leave me alone?

"Come on, Jack."

What...even you, Danny? For Pete's sake.

"Colonel, open your eyes."

Okay, okay. O'Neill prised his eyes open and looked up to see Carter's very concerned eyes - all six of them.

"That's better, sir. How are you feeling?"

"I'm not sure, Captain," he mumbled, trying to sit up. "But this better be concussion, 'cos I'm damn sure I can't cope with three of you."

And with that, he promptly passed out.

oOo

The rest of the day took on an extremely surreal aspect for O'Neill. He had surfaced from his faint to find himself being carried by a multi-coloured serpent guard, who fortunately turned out to be Teal'c - though he had found that out the hard way. After a struggle with his apparent captor, which had almost caused them to fall, he had been told in no uncertain terms to 'be still' by that familiar deep voice.

However, he had finally begun to understand that he and Daniel had been rescued, and that Sam and Teal'c had not been killed, or been wasting their time. He heaved a sigh of relief, and then told himself off for having been worried at all.

It seemed a long time before the party decided to take a rest, but eventually, O'Neill found himself lying on the ground, propped up against a convenient tree. It seemed to be much darker now.

"Carter?" he called out urgently. "Tell me it's dusk."

The young woman's face seemed to float into view. "It's dusk, sir," she confirmed, setting his mind at rest. "Don't worry. We're just taking a short break. It's not too far to the gate, but we have to take all the advantage we can. They won't be far behind us, once they realise you've escaped."

"Good. Carry on, Captain," he muttered, thankful that his eyesight wasn't failing him and that there was only one Carter now; things had to be getting better.

"How are you feeling?"

Daniel's low voice seemed strained.

"Hey, Danny," he answered roughly. "See, told you we had nothing to worry about. I'll feel a hell of a lot better, though, once we're through that gate."

"Jack, I'm sorry you -"

Oh, for crying out loud. "Daniel," he interrupted sharply, "we survived. That's all you need to remember."

O'Neill could barely see the young man in the gathering darkness and reached out to touch him. He found his arm, curling his fingers around the firm flesh. "We'll be okay, just-"

A thought occurred to him, and he broke off what he had been about to say, his mind working over all the problems they were about to face back at the SGC.

"Carter?" he called out. "You there?"

"Yes, sir," the young woman answered from nearby.

"Daniel's told you about...what happened? About Ammonet and Sha're?" he asked hesitantly, hating to remind the young man of his loss but finding no way around it.

Carter appeared next to him. "Yes," she answered sorrowfully.

"Well, if we go back to the SGC now, he's gonna get kicked off the team so fast his head'll spin," O'Neill went on. "So, just what will we find if we go back to P3X... whatever it was?"

Teal'c spoke out of the darkness. "By my calculation, we still have four hours in which to return and make our next report."

"Next report?" O'Neill repeated with surprise.

"Yes, Colonel. When Teal'c and I decided to come after you, we wanted to leave straight away," Carter answered quickly. "But then we realised that if we to...well...cover our asses..." She hesitated briefly. "We...er...we waited and made the evening report before coming through the gate. If we can get back in time, no one will be the wiser."

O'Neill chewed over this information. "We can always hope," he said eventually. "Though I may have to come up with some reason for looking as though I've been through a meat grinder." He smiled. "But maybe we can get away with this, after all."

"It's my fault," Daniel's voice sounded bleak. "You don't have to do this. I deserve to get fired after what's happened to you."

"Now, Danny," O'Neill said with apparent annoyance, "I don't want to hear that. It's done. Deal with it."

His head started to swim as he tried to get up and he broke off, aware only of the gentle hands that pushed him back down.

"Take it easy, sir," Carter insisted. "We'll go back to P3X975 and then decide what to do. Don't worry."

Relaxing at the soothing tone in her voice, O'Neill decided she was right. "Okay, Captain," he said tiredly. "Just get us outta here."

As he felt Teal'c lift him and start walking, O'Neill let his mind reflect on everything that had happened to them in the last... God, was it only one day?

No wonder Daniel was close to despair; he'd not only lost Sha're, he actually fired the gun that had killed her himself. Then he'd been beaten up and abused by Apophis. Then he'd had to watch as the same thing was done to O'Neill.

Christ, Daniel was going to need counselling after all this. Was it fair to keep it all a secret? Was his place on the team worth losing his sanity?

O'Neill didn't know...didn't know what to do for the best.

His thoughts started to wander then, and he seemed to spend a lot of time in some sort of dreamlike state. He was vaguely aware of the jostling as the group travelled through the jungle, then being put down, the sound of a zat gun firing in the distance and then the rush of jumping through the Stargate.

And at last there was that wonderful, earthy smell of the last planet they had visited. They were all back in one, if slightly damaged, piece.

"Everybody okay?" he called out as he was once again deposited on the ground.

"Affirmative, Colonel O'Neill," Teal'c answered. "We have effected our escape and there was no one left behind to see where we gated to."

"Well, that's good news," he replied with a sigh. "How long before we have to make our next report, Carter?"

The young woman knelt down beside him. "We have a couple of hours, sir. But I really don't know whether it's wise to do as you suggest. Your injuries -"

O'Neill shook his head. "My injuries will heal in the next couple of days, long before we have to go back," he said dryly. "No, it's Daniel I'm worried about."

"What about me?" Daniel asked, as he sat down on the grass nearby. "I'm okay."

Staring across at him, O'Neill narrowed his eyes. "Are you?"

"Yes." The young man met his gaze easily. "I'm just worried about you. What about the concussion? I mean, shouldn't you see a doctor?"

Smiling at the concern in the low voice, O'Neill answered briefly. "I'll be okay. Just let me rest."

"Forgive me, sir," Carter answered quickly, "but, with concussion, that's the last thing we can let you do. I have to agree with Daniel, you should go back and let Doctor Fraiser take a look at you. You may also have internal injuries," she added firmly.

"Carter -" O'Neill started to remonstrate.

"They are both correct, O'Neill," Teal'c interrupted bluntly. "You must go back and have medical attention. Captain Carter and I found a deep ravine not far away. You can say you fell down it during one of the reconnaissance patrols."

"Great! That makes it so much more acceptable," O'Neill answered acerbically, putting more vehemence into his voice than he really felt, but feeling that it was required of him.

Carter put a hand out to stop him from rising. "You know it makes sense, sir. And if we want to keep this...mission...a secret, then it's the only way I'm prepared to do it. Your health is too important. Sir," she added belatedly.

"Jack."

He looked up into Daniel's wide gaze, saw all the misgivings and sadness there, and gave in. "Okay, Daniel. I'll go back, but what about you?"

The young man looked away. "I know what you're asking," he murmured. "It's a lot to deal with, but I can do it."

A smile crossed his lips as he turned back to them. "I'm really sorry I put you through this," he held up a hand to stop O'Neill from interrupting, "but if you're all willing to do this for me, then I'd like to stay with the team. I really don't want to leave the SGC. I love travelling through the gate and exploring new worlds."

He coughed, then went on. "Sha're's gone, yes. But she's better off now. They can't hurt her any more," he added, his voice coloured with sorrow.

His throat tightening as he listened, O'Neill reached out and grasped Daniel's hand. "It's okay, Daniel," he said quietly, his own sadness almost overwhelming him.

He wondered how he himself was going to deal with everything that had happened. If anything, Daniel seemed to be making a much better job of it.

The silence was broken when Carter's stomach rumbled.

O'Neill made his lips smile as he saw her embarrassment. "Well then, if we're all agreed," he stated firmly, pulling a face, "I...managed...to fall off your damned ravine and get concussion. Nothing else of the remotest interest happened on this mission. Okay?"

He looked around at the intense faces of his team and saw complete agreement. "Right, Carter, I suggest you break out the rations," he said, changing the subject neatly. "I wouldn't want to get the reputation of being cruel to my men, or women, of course," he added with a provocative look at the young captain, who got her own back by ignoring him.

oOo

The meal over, it was time to make the report and, feeling too tired to put up a fight, O'Neill allowed Carter to make the call. The result was as expected, and he soon found himself travelling back to Earth, leaving the captain in command of SG-1.

It was good to see the gate room, and the general, waiting for him.

"It's the infirmary for you, Colonel," Hammond ordered as soon as he saw the state he was in. "I'll get your report later. When you're up to it."

"Yes, sir," he answered with a half-salute.

"You look like you've been through a war zone, Jack," the general went on, his concern very evident as he fell into step beside O'Neill.

"Hardly, sir," he replied dryly. "I just thought I'd like to try flying off a cliff. Everything was just fine, until the landing. Go figure."

The general chuckled. "Aren't you a little old for that kind of...foolishness?"

"Oh, you got that right," O'Neill answered with great feeling.

Dr Frasier was waiting for him in the sickbay, and the general left him to her very able ministrations. After being prodded and probed until he felt like a bag of bruises, O'Neill was told that he had no internal injuries, but that the risk of concussion meant he would have to spend at least the night in the infirmary. Since he had given up caring by this time, he did not make the usual noise about it being unnecessary. He merely laid back in the comfortable bed, Fraiser's frown at his uncharacteristic behaviour giving him a moment of amusement.

However, that night he found it very difficult to sleep, his mind continuing to cycle through everything that had happened, and the consequences he was going to have to try and live with now.

Tossing and turning, there was one image he could not get out of his mind, that of Daniel's expression as he had knelt beside Sha're's dead body. As if that was not enough, he was also treated to the harassment of his own internal voice. It seemed to be taking savage pleasure in reminding him of every dream, wish and hope he had never wanted to acknowledge, but which he knew he would never forget, now that they truly were futile.

Throwing an arm over his eyes, O'Neill knew deep, harrowing sorrow, and could only see one way out of it. The last time his life had been left in ruins, he had resigned and crawled inside a bottle, hiding from a world that no longer had meaning for him. He accepted that that was not for him this time; no, this time he was older - god, was he older - and much more experienced. There was a better way to deal with an unrequited passion.

His decision made, he finally fell asleep, and dreamed.

oOo

"Well, I just glad to see from the doctor's report that you'll be fit for duty again in a week or so, Colonel," the general said happily as they finished the de-briefing. "Though I trust you'll be more...er...careful on the next mission."

"Oh, I don't think that will be a problem," O'Neill answered lightly, taking a deep breath before he continued, "Mainly because I'm tendering my resignation, sir."

General Hammond stared at him, his expression so stunned, O'Neill wondered if he was about to keel over.

"Effective immediately," he added, just to make sure they got the grounds for the whole argument set from the word go.

The general's mouth worked silently and then snapped shut. He rose to his feet. "Colonel O'Neill," he managed eventually. "Is this some kind of a joke? Because if it is, I can tell you now, I'm not laughing."

"No, sir," O'Neill replied steadily. "No joke."

Hammond stared at him, frowning, and then sat down. "Then what the hell, may I ask, are you playing at?"

"Not playing, sir," he answered calmly, "retiring."

"But...but..." The general was beside himself. "But why? And why now?"

At last the right question; O'Neill started to relax. "Because this is a young man's job, sir," he said with finality. "And I think this last mission just proves that I'm reaching the time when I could be more of a liability to a team than an asset."

This time the general stared at him open-mouthed, before quickly pulling himself together. "That," he said briskly, "has to be the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard you say. And you have to admit, you do come out with some doozies, Colonel."

O'Neill wisely decided not to comment on that particular view.

"No," Hammond went on fiercely, "there's something else, isn't there. Something..." he paused, and narrowed his eyes, "something personal, eh, Jack?"

Staring him straight in the eye, O'Neill lied through his teeth.

"No, sir."

The silence that filled the room was uncomfortable as the two men stared at each other but, in the end, it was the general who gave in.

"Very well," he said unhappily, "but I insist that you take some time to consider this..." he wiped his hand over his bald head, "...this step, which I must say, I find incomprehensible. At least do that for me."

O'Neill opened his mouth to object, but then decided it would be more politic to seem to agree. He knew he wouldn't change his mind. He wanted off the Stargate Project, and there wasn't a court in the land that could make him stay.

Seeing his silent agreement, and obviously taking it as a good sign, Hammond sighed deeply. "Jack, I don't need to tell you that I hope this is just some phase you're going through. That this silly accident has made you doubt your own abilities and strengths. The SGC needs you - hell, as far as I'm concerned, this place would never be the same if you left."

"No one's indispensable, sir," O'Neill said softly, and then smiled.

"Well, I insist that you take a month to think about it," the general continued, though his expression changed to one of real regret and O'Neill saw that, at last, Hammond knew he was deadly serious.

"Okay, I'll do that," he agreed with a sigh. "But don't go baking any cakes. I'm tired. I want to retire," he stated emphatically, standing up. "It's time I left all this running around the galaxy to personnel who are younger, fitter, and much more...enthusiastic."

"I can see you feel strongly about this," said the general, sitting back in his chair. "But I still hold you to that month."

O'Neill nodded. "Permission to leave, sir."

"Granted," Hammond replied with a last frown.

And with that Colonel Jack O'Neill left the SGC.

oOo

"Daniel?" Carter called out loudly. "Do you need any help?"

She looked across the campsite and saw the young man shake his head, as he continued to pack all the papers and notebooks that he had strewn on the ground.

"No," he answered with a low voice. "I'm just about ready."

The captain frowned. Daniel had been very subdued since they had returned through the gate, naturally enough, but she was still worried about him, and Colonel O'Neill's last words to her before he had returned to Earth had not really been necessary. Keep an eye on Daniel, he had ordered, staring her straight in the eye with that intense manner of his, and she had known exactly what he'd meant.

So she had done just that. However, her friend had done nothing more than make copious notes, presumably about the ruined temple, though even she could see that there was little of interest there. Oh, and he had sat quietly with them each evening, and brooded.

"How long before you want to set off back?"

Daniel's question intruded into her thoughts.

"Teal'c should be back soon," she answered with a smile. "Then we can gate home."

When Daniel said nothing more, Carter decided that this could possibly be the last time she would have a chance to speak privately with him.

"Er...Daniel," she began carefully. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

The young man sat down on the grass beside her. "No," he said listlessly. "Is something the matter?"

"I don't know," she replied, putting a hand on his arm. "Such a lot has happened, I'm worried that hiding all this is only going to make things more difficult for you."

Daniel's face broke into a shy grin. "I know you all care, Sam," he said quietly. "And that means a lot. I know...I know I can come to any of you..." He hesitated for a moment. "But I can't talk about it yet. Not about Sha're, or -"

He broke off sharply, then continued more slowly. "But when I can...I will. I....er..I just need to deal with all this on my own right now."

Feeling better now that they had got the subject out in the open, even if only vaguely, Carter patted his arm. "So long as you don't bottle it up," she said with concern. "You'll be okay so long as you do talk to someone when you need to."

"Thanks." Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose. "Talking about being worried," he muttered, frowning a little. "What do you think is going on with Jack?"

Remembering the dour-faced general she had spoken to for the last three evening reports, Carter knew what her friend was referring to, and was quite concerned herself. Apart from assuring them that Colonel O'Neill had been discharged from the infirmary, General Hammond had been terse in the extreme with any information about their commanding officer.

"I'm sure it's nothing," she replied as reassuringly as she could, not wanting to add to Daniel's fears. "We'll find out soon enough when we get home."

Standing up and looking around, the young man stretched. "Yeah, it'll be good to get back."

"Oh, Daniel." Rising to her feet, Sam reached into her pocket. "I think you should have this back," she said, handing over the piece of paper. "I know it was private but..." she hesitated. "That's how we knew how to find you."

She was surprised to see a blush rise in Daniel's cheeks.

"I..I.." the young man stammered endearingly, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "Thanks," he said finally, accepting the note. "I suppose I should collect all the evidence and destroy it."

"That would be a good idea," she agreed, though she narrowed her eyes as she took in his embarrassment.

Further thoughts on the subject were cut off as Teal'c entered the camp carrying a large box. "I found the rock outcrop you described, Captain Carter," he reported as he placed the box on the ground by the Stargate. "There should be more than enough samples for your investigations."

Nodding her thanks, Carter started to pick up her gear. "Okay, let's get home. Daniel, you start dialling and I'll send the iris code."

Working quickly together, it was not long before they were walking down the ramp in the gate room on Earth, and Sam smiled as the team were greeted by General Hammond.

"Welcome home, SG-1," he said seriously. "Good job, Captain Carter."

"Thank you, sir," she answered, saluting smartly.

The general turned towards the exit. "When you've all been through the medical checks, I'll see you in my office for debriefing."

Glancing around at the rest of the team, Sam saw Daniel's worried frown and Teal'c's raised eyebrow, and was not surprised; the general was not usually so brusque in his manner; well, not unless something was very wrong.

Filled with foreboding, she began to wonder just what exactly had been happening here on Earth whilst they had been gone.

oOo

"Do you think he knows?" Daniel asked in a whisper as they made their way through the SGC. The medical exams over, they were heading for the general's office as ordered.

Teal'c tilted his head and looked down at the young man. "I have found that little is achieved in second estimating what other people are thinking, Daniel Jackson."

"That's second guessing, Teal'c," Daniel corrected him. "But do you think we should...that I should confess -?"

"We're all in this together, Daniel," Carter reminded him. "And one piece of advice, which I know the Colonel would also share with you at this moment, is never volunteer any information. If General Hammond knows anything, we wait until he tells us."

Seeing the young man nod, she continued through the corridors, satisfied that he knew the drill. As they reached their destination, she pulled her shoulders back and then rapped on the door.

"Enter."

SG-1 filed into the room and took their seats when the general indicated that they should sit.

"So, Captain Carter," he said briskly, getting straight down to business. "Let's have your report."

As she went through the mundane details of the mission to P3X975, Sam started to get the feeling that the general's mind was on some other matter. Although he appeared to be engrossed in everything she said, he barely made any comments and did not ask any questions, which was definitely unusual. It was as though he was waiting for something, she concluded. Something which obviously didn't surface in her report, as he looked decidedly unhappy when she finished.

He was sitting facing her, his hands grasped tightly together on his blotter, his face a picture of restrained frustration.

"Is there something the matter, sir?" she felt obliged to ask after a few moment's silence.

"Captain, tell me about Colonel O'Neill's accident," he demanded, ignoring her enquiry.

"What?" Carter felt Daniel shift in his seat beside her. "Is something wrong with Jack?" he exclaimed. "Where is he?"

Steepling his fingers, General Hammond turned his gaze on the young man. "He's not here, Dr Jackson. But I still want to hear about the accident."

"But -"

"Yes, sir," Carter interrupted, hoping to distract the general; he was watching the young archaeologist with far too much interest, she decided.

"We were following a ridgeline. There was no path, and the Colonel stepped through underbrush that was disguising the edge of a steep drop," she stated firmly, following the story that they had all agreed upon before the Colonel had returned through the Stargate.

"We were not aware of the ravine until then," she added with as much sincerity as she could muster. "It was a simple accident, sir. There was no other factors involved."

Teal'c spoke into the silence. "I climbed down and helped Colonel O'Neill back to the summit of the cliff. He was...somewhat confused, and Captain Carter decided that he should return and received medical attention."

Carter watched with growing concern as the general stared at each of them in turn.

"Begging the general's pardon, but is something the matter with Colonel O'Neill? Why isn't he here?"

Hammond relaxed suddenly and sighed. "The good Colonel is not here because he has taken leave," he told them bluntly. "SG-1 will be working with Major Ferretti for the next four weeks."

"Four weeks? Why -?" Daniel shot to his feet and leaned across the desk. "Jack never said anything about taking any leave," he said urgently, his eyes narrowing with suspicion. "You're not telling us everything, are you, General?"

Hammond looked away and did not answer.

"What the hell is going on around here?" Daniel went on, his anger obvious to all. With a shiver of foreboding, Sam saw that he realised his mistake almost immediately, but then it was as though he didn't care what anyone thought any more.

"I have to go," he informed the group sharply. "I'll...I'll...see you later." And with that he left the room, the door slamming behind him.

Feeling a heavy gaze descend upon her, Sam turned to meet the puzzled face of General Hammond.

"Are you sure there's nothing more you want to tell me, Captain?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "An explanation for Dr Jackson's behaviour just now would also be welcome, to say the least."

At a complete loss as to how she could explain anything, Sam looked across at Teal'c, and shrugged.

"We have no idea, sir."

oOo

O'Neill contemplated his garden as he sucked on a beer, the cold liquid sliding down his throat, no trouble at all. Deciding that he should really get to work, he set the empty bottle on the decking along with the others and, rising to his feet, made his way down the steps.

You're pathetic, his little voice sneered as he stumbled at the bottom.

Shuddup.

He took the rake from the utility room and started on the lawn, his body soon sweating freely in the heat of the midday sun. Removing his sweatshirt, he returned to the hard labour, concentrating his whole being into the work, trying desperately not to think at all. To little effect.

He really would have to figure out what he was going to do next. So far all he had done was put his house on the market, though he had no idea where he was going to move to; he'd always liked the mountains, but hey...there was lots to be said for the beach.

He grunted as he wielded the rake with a lot more effort than was required.

You're a coward, the little voice chortled. Cut and run, eh, Jack?

Shuddup!

Christ! What else could he do? Hang around here, hoping for...

For what, Jack? There was contempt in the little voice that did nothing to cool his temper, or his depression.

Yeah. Right.

Standing up, he stretched his spine and stared at the sky, seeing nothing. He wiped a hand over his face.

Gods, he could do without all this.

A shock of electricity shot through his skin as he heard a car door slam shut. It sounded so close, maybe in his own driveway.

Moving quickly, he peered through the bushes and took a further hit to his already ragged system.

Daniel? What the hell...

Confusion reigned for all of five seconds, and then he felt the overwhelming urge to run and hide. However, in the end, he knew he had to face this...scene. Had always known it would have to be confronted sooner or later.

Squaring his shoulders, and wishing belatedly that he hadn't drunk quite so much beer, he headed around the hedge, determined to deal with this last problem and then, maybe, he could get on with the rest of his life.

Daniel was still standing in the driveway, staring up at the For Sale sign. His face was pale and strangely blank of expression.

"Hi, Daniel," he called out brightly. "I see you got back okay."

He was not prepared for the effect the sound of his voice had on the young man. Daniel swivelled around in surprise and almost lost his balance.

"Jack?" he said incredulously. "Jack, you're...okay." He sounded amazed and relieved all at the same time.

Shrugging as he watched the colour flood into Daniel's cheeks, O'Neill had absolutely no idea what could possibly be causing this reaction.

"Sure I'm okay. What the hell did you think?"

Daniel's mouth worked silently, apparently lost for words. Then he started to stammer, an endearing quality that had always appealed to O'Neill.

"The general said..." he started, then stopped. "He said you were on leave. For a month."

"Well, yeah -" O'Neill started to reply.

"But...but..." Daniel hurried on, "but you weren't there when we got back. And then he was behaving so strangely. Wanted to know...wanted to know about the accident."

With fascination O'Neill watched as Daniel swallowed deeply, obviously upset and unable to find the right words to convey his distress.

"Okay, okay, Daniel," he interrupted. "Calm down. What the hell has happened to get you this uptight?"

But the young man apparently wasn't listening.

"I thought...I thought," he continued, his agitation getting worse if anything. "I thought at first that you were really ill," he added, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "And that no one wanted to tell us."

"What?" O'Neill could hardly believe his ears.

"Then the general was so...so secretive, I started to wonder if you were dead. And then I saw this." He waved his hand at the sign. "And it all seemed to add up."

"Yeah, well, you got fifteen, Danny," O'Neill broke in at last. "I can sell my house without dying, you know. Though where the hell you got that idea is beyond me."

Daniel just stood and stared at him, the blue eyes still full of pain and fear.

What the hell was going on?

"Come inside," he said evenly. "We'd better get all this sorted out before you fall down."

Sighing heavily, he took hold of the young man's arm and led him to the front door and inside the house.

"Coffee?" he asked calmly. "Oh, sorry. Stupid question." Knowing Daniel's addiction to the strong brew, he set about fixing their drinks, leaving his young friend in the living room.

A few minutes later, hoping he had given Daniel enough time to compose himself, he returned and set the mugs on the table. "So," he went on, "start at the beginning and let's see if we can straightened this out."

As he listened to Daniel's retelling of SG-1's de-briefing, O'Neill cursed Hammond. The old guy had done this deliberately, had wanted to trick the rest of the team into giving away something that would explain Jack's sudden decision. Damn, he really did not need this - not on top of everything else. And now he would have to break the rest of the news to Daniel himself. Ah, hell...

"Daniel," he started carefully when the young man eventually finished his tale, "this is my fault, and I'm sorry. The general was on a fishing expedition. It sounds to me like he thought he could find out more by...by fooling you all into giving something away."

Daniel's head shot up. "Like what?"

"Like why I've decided to retire," he answered briefly, sitting back in his seat and taking a drink of coffee, waiting for the explosion. He didn't have to wait long.

"Retire?" Daniel repeated blankly. "You've decided to retire?" The expressions that coloured the young man's face were changing so fast, O'Neill was hard put to follow them all. "What the hell do you mean?" he went on, his voice rising all the time. "You can't retire. You can't just leave us like that."

Faced with the young man's anger, O'Neill felt his face freeze into a blank mask; this was hard enough to do in the first place, Daniel's reaction was making it intolerable.

"Now, Danny boy, let's just get one thing straight here," he said sternly. "If I want out, then no one can stop me. I was drafted back into the SGC from a very pleasant retirement two years ago. I've done my part and if I want to get back to my own life then it's my decision."

He could see Daniel wilting before his tirade and had to strengthen his resolve to finish this...this damned...

Travesty, his little voice jeered. Go on, Jack, kill the hope.

His throat tight with emotions that would not be denied, he found that he couldn't swallow and, when he started to speak again, his voice was close to cracking.

"It's...it's just time for me to move on, Daniel," he ended quietly.

The young man stood up quickly and turned away from him. "You...you can't leave..."

Staring at the straight back, O'Neill was at a loss, Daniel's plea cutting him so deep he knew he was going to bleed inside for a very long time. But he was stronger than he knew. "Yes, I can," he replied as austerely as he could.

"But...but what about..." Daniel didn't finish.

"SG-1 can manage without me. I'm not indispensable," O'Neill replied to the unasked question. "Carter should get promotion soon, anyhow. I've given her the best recommendations an officer could ever want."

"And there's nothing else to keep you. Is that it?" the young man asked, turning back to glare down at him.

Ah, Danny, if you only knew.

"No, there's nothing else," he agreed slowly, the lie turning to ashes in his mouth. He suddenly felt dirty, and very angry with himself. Why the hell was he wallowing in self-pity like this?

Time to finish it, Jack, he told himself. Time to cut all the crap and end it.

Pulling himself together, he rose to tower over the young man. "Daniel, get this and get it good. I'm too old for this. I'm tired. I want out," he said strongly, ignoring the way Daniel stepped back in confusion. "I am leaving the SGC and SG-1. You don't need me any more."

"I need you."

Oh, Christ, Danny. Don't do this to me. O'Neill stared into the anguished eyes, and almost gave in. But then the little voice cackled in his head.

Are you going to fall for this, you old fool?

He made his face smile and reached out, shaking the young man's shoulder lightly. "Danny, Danny, Danny," he said roughly. "You'll always need someone to look after you. You're a scientist," he added as though in explanation. "But you'll have Sam and Teal'c with you. Don't worry."

"That's not -"

"You'll do fine," O'Neill interrupted, now determined that this subject had been hashed out enough. "You don't give yourself enough credit."

He could see the light of defeat in Daniel's eyes at last, and mourned even as he sighed with relief.

Shifting uneasily, Daniel looked away, his distress all apparent, but he finally managed to speak. "Okay, Jack. I'm...er...I'm sorry if I've made this difficult for you. I'd...er...I'd better get back."

He moved towards the door and O'Neill was surprised to find that his feet would not follow. "Er...yeah, Daniel," he said softly, unable to trust his voice. He could only stand and watch as the young man walked out of his life. The front door slammed shut, and it felt as though all the energy drained out of his body, leaving him weak.

Oh that was terrific, the little voice said snidely. You really know how to burn boats, don't you. Ever think about joining masochists anonymous?

He looked up from his hands that were clenched tightly around his empty coffee mug and saw his reflection in the mirror over the mantle. Staring at the stony face that looked back at him, he saw a lonely man - a lonely man with only an acerbic inner voice to keep him company.

You've done the right thing, Jack, the voice went on, this time with a surprisingly gentle tone.

I know, he answered himself bleakly, his sadness knowing no limits now. But how the hell am I going to deal with this?

The face in the mirror seemed to mock him, and he was filled with disgust. Disgust with himself. for being so pathetic and weak. So he'd wanted something he couldn't have, big deal. Life was like that. Get over it.

But it was Daniel, he reminded himself.

The memory of the young man's expression, as he had finally accepted that Jack was walking out of his life, was suddenly too much to take. His frustrations growing to an uncontainable peak, his self-restraint shattered under the strain. He raised his hand and threw the mug at his reflection, shattering the mirror into a million sparkling pieces.

oOo

"Well, that tells me a lot."

Turning swiftly at the sound of the cool voice, O'Neill was shocked to the core. "I thought you'd gone," he said gruffly, trying to gather his wits about him; Daniel was watching him far too knowingly.

"You forget something?" he added lightly, at last finding the energy to move. He wandered over to remains of his mug and bent down, starting to pick up the bigger pieces.

"You could say that," Daniel answered gravely. "I almost forgot what a good bull-shitter you could be. Remembered just in time."

His nerves singing battle songs, very loudly, O'Neill took a deep breath. "I guess you know what you're talking about, Daniel," he muttered with apparent unconcern, "but you've left me wa-ay behind already."

There was a long silence, and he just had to look. The knowing expression was still there on Daniel's calm face.

Oh shit.

"Look, Daniel," he went on, standing up and dropping the broken shards of mug and mirror into the waste bin. "If you've got something to say, say it. I'm in no mood for playing games today."

"I love you."

The breath seemed to leave his lungs instantaneously, O'Neill felt light-headed with the loss. What the hell?

"And I know you love me," Daniel went on quite steadily. "That's what all this has been about, hasn't it."

Shaking his head, O'Neill could only stare at the young man, his brain seemed to have closed down completely. Even the little voice was silent.

"For a long time I thought maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part, but then there were too many clues, too many times when you deliberately put yourself in danger to save my life."

"I do that for any member of my team," O'Neill burst out, finally finding the wherewithal to answer these incredible charges.

"I know," Daniel answered meekly, "but you don't look at them like you sometimes look at me."

The way I look at you? O'Neill took the time to think over the words, and then wondered why he was fighting this argument. Surely Daniel was offering him everything he had ever wanted?

You know why, his little voice virtually screamed. There are so many reasons, you'd have to be crazy to ignore them.

Common sense returned with an almost audible thud, and O'Neill knew that so much was wrong here, he had to fight.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, he made his smile as smug as possible. "So, Sha're was nothing more than a pretty girl who you slept with only because she was available?" he asked carelessly, cruelly, watching with an inner satisfaction as Daniel paled.

"No -" the young man tried to say.

"Oh yeah, Danny-boy. You'd better start explaining pretty damn quick. I'm real interested now in this game you're playing."

"Sha're..." Daniel swallowed painfully. "I did love Sha're. You know that. But what I feel for you is...so...different."

"Nice try," O'Neill felt a slow anger starting to burn, now he had the young man on the defensive. What the hell was he trying to pull here? "But you've had us charging all over the damned galaxy trying to rescue her. Hell, you almost got the whole team killed this last time."

He hated himself for saying it, but it was the truth and that was all he needed at the moment. No doubt the time for lies would come later.

Daniel was staring at him again, the expression in his eyes so intense, it was almost as though he was trying to talk to him telepathically, for God's sake!

"Jack, I...I...know this doesn't seem to make any sense," he managed to say in the end. "But...but just tell me I'm wrong."

O'Neill felt a flood of heat on his skin. Oh dear god. He definitely wasn't ready for this.

"You can't, can you," Daniel spoke again, his self-confidence growing before O'Neill's eyes. "You do feel like I do."

Groaning, O'Neill dropped into a nearby chair. "Daniel," he said with impatience. "Just what the hell are you trying to do to me?"

"I'm trying to set this right. I'm trying to get you to listen and understand." The young man lowered himself shakily onto the settee. "Sha're...was important to me. She was loving, she was beautiful, she was so child-like in her wonder and she adored me. She was my whole world...until you came back."

He waved a hand as O'Neill tried to interrupt. "Wait, Jack, wait," he insisted. "When Apophis took her, I was beside myself. I had to get her back. She was too innocent, I couldn't bear the thought of her going through all that misery," he went on agitatedly. "And that never changed. I had to help her. I had to get her out.

"But over this last year or so, working with you, getting to know you better, and then seeing how you felt too..."

"You're wrong, Danny," O'Neill said into the silence, the lies coming easily, now that he had to find a way to stop this harrowing torture for them both. "You're confusing friendship and shared danger with...something else."

"You can't even say it, can you, Jack," Daniel said with renewed interest. "Why is that?"

O'Neill ignored the provocation. "Look, you've just lost Sha're. Hell, because of me, you had to kill her," he remarked bitterly, well aware that he was fighting himself as well as Daniel. However, there was no way on God's earth that this could work. Even trying would be purgatory, as he'd always be waiting for Daniel to realise his mistake.

"And now, you've transferred your need to me," he went on succinctly. "It happens, Danny. Think about it."

Seeing the stubborn expression on the young man's face, he had to turn away. Then he heard rustling.

"Look at this," Daniel ordered sharply. "That should make you understand."

There was a piece of paper in Daniel's hand. O'Neill took it slowly, as though he expected it to bite. Taking in the contents of the letter, he realised that this had to be the note Daniel had said he'd left for him when he had gone after Sha're. The words barely made sense and he had to concentrate.

"You see," Daniel said impatiently. "I told you how important you are to me, how your safety was important, and that I needed your forgiveness. I even told you that I was going to put Sha're out of her misery if I couldn't get her away."

He licked his lips before going on. "I was responsible for her. I couldn't just leave her with Apophis. I am so sorry that she's dead, Jack, but it doesn't change the fact that I don't want to lose you too."

He broke off and wiped the hair back from his face. "I wrote that before Sha're...before Sha're died. I haven't lied to you, Jack. Not once. I love you. I've been going crazy trying to live without saying something to you, but I couldn't. Not until I'd got her away from him. I knew you wouldn't listen until I could show you that this has nothing to do with her."

There was a pleading look in his eyes, and O'Neill felt the need to comfort him so fundamentally he nearly gave in.

However, there were other considerations.

"Daniel," he sighed, as he handed the note back, "I understand but, I'm sorry, you'll have to find another way to get on with your life. I'm too tired for all this."

He stood up and made his way to the window, waving his hand expressively. "You need to get out there, into the world. Find people your own age, with the same interests," he added, turning back and plastering a warm, understanding smile on his face.

He knew he had said the wrong thing as soon as Daniel's expression changed to narrowed-eyed suspicion.

"Is that what all this is about?" the young man said abruptly. "You think you're too old for me?" His voice filled with incredulity, Daniel was obviously annoyed. "For crying out loud..."

The use of his own phrase for indicating his exasperation broke through O'Neill's deadly calm. "Now, Daniel..." he started to say.

"Don't you Daniel me, Jack," the young man replied furiously. "I can't believe you could be so...so...stupid."

"Hang on right there," O'Neill commanded, his own temper rising. "You are too young to be hanging around with an old, retired," he emphasised heavily, "ex-colonel. You need to find someone your own age, like I said before."

Seeing that Daniel was stalking towards him, with non too gentle intentions on his mind going by the steely look in his wide blue eyes, O'Neill started to back away.

"We have nothing in common besides the Stargate. I hate your music," he added as an afterthought, "and you take no interest in hockey."

Daniel reached out and took hold of the front of his t-shirt. "Jack, you have to be the biggest idiot this side of the galaxy," he muttered under his breath, and then he kissed him, hard on the mouth.

All the anger vanished as if it had never existed. There was nothing but Daniel: his hard lips crushing his own, his tongue demanding entry, his hands holding him tightly, then caressing his back and buttocks.

There was nothing else O'Neill could do, so he did what all good soldiers did under extreme and overwhelming odds - if they wanted to survive. He surrendered.

What the hell had he been fighting for? he wondered, as he tasted the wonderful, soft mouth that opened to his questing tongue. This was all that he had wanted, he reminded himself as he ran his hands over Daniel's back and felt him shiver. This was all he had ever needed in his life.

Daniel's lips dropped to nuzzle his neck and he arched his head back, the flames of desire coursing through his blood straight to his groin.

Vaguely aware that Daniel was speaking, he couldn't actually make out the words. He knew they were moving, but didn't care so long as he could still touch and taste his new lover, and he refused to be distracted even as he stumbled as they climbed some steps.

He only realised where they were when he was pushed backwards and landed on his own bed, the fact that Daniel was still clinging to him like a leech the only thing that he was interested in.

Clothes. They had to get rid of the clothes.

It was almost like a fight in itself, although it was one he knew he was enjoying - and so was Danny, if the noises he was making were anything to go by.

Sweating, heated skin under his hands. Rough kisses caressing his body. Teeth biting his straining muscles. Damn, this was better than any dreams.

"Oh, God, Jack."

Daniel's voice sounded so driven, O'Neill had to open his eyes and look. And then he was spellbound.

This was no dream Daniel. The much longed for body was lying open to him, yes. And there was nothing to stop him from doing anything he wanted, yes. But this Daniel had his own needs, his own desires, and was about to take them.

Hands pulled him down, pushed him into whatever position they wanted, and he revelled in his own surrender. He had never in his life been needed like this. Had never known such passion.

Then everything stopped.

"Where's the -"

He had no idea what Daniel was looking for, and felt vaguely upset that he had been deserted; the young man was still here, though he seemed to be taking his bedside table apart.

"Danny?" he murmured, clasping his hand around a tight buttock and smoothing the flesh firmly with his fingers. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm looking for... Ah, here it is."

His arms were once again filled with a wriggling, demanding body and before he knew what was happening, he had to catch his breath as his aching cock was taken in gentle fingers.

"Christ, Daniel," he sighed as he fell back into the pillows, sliding into ecstasy, completely boneless.

The hand moved so slowly, he could feel himself growing harder than ever. Reaching out he tried to pull Daniel down so he could kiss him again, wanting, no, needing those full, sweet lips against his own. However, Daniel was being extremely uncooperative.

A cool slickness on his cock caused him to cry out, then he realised what Danny had done; the idea, the knowledge of what the young man was intending, robbing him of his breath and his senses. A condom was rolled expertly into place and then the young man rose over him. Through half-closed lids, Jack couldn't take his eyes away from the sight of Daniel lowered himself so slowly. Then he could feel the hard clasp of tight muscles surrounding his arching flesh, could see the glow of pleasure on Daniel's face, all the desire and passion and love there to be seen - as clear as day.

It was so difficult to keep still; all he wanted, all he needed was to pound up into that glorious heat and take Daniel so hard that he reached his heart.

"Gods, Daniel," he moaned. "I...love you."

Daniel smiled as he caught his breath, then started to move.

The fires raging on O'Neill's skin and nerves grew out of control after that. He was nothing but a puppet moving to Daniel's every command. He could no longer control his own body; he tossed against the sheet as nimble fingers plucked at his nipples, and cried out as sharp fingernails trailed spears of pleasure under his balls and down his inner thighs.

And try as he might, he couldn't stop from thrusting up into Daniel's welcoming body. His hands were like steel bands holding Daniel still, his hips arching off the bed over and over again. He was nothing but a mindless, searching animal.

No, his mind called out to him. It's Daniel doing this to you. He loves you.

"Oh, Jesus, yes, Daniel," he cried out, coming so violently he rocked the bed, his body thrashing about in ecstasy.

As he descended slowly from his climax, he became aware of Daniel's shuddering breaths and, opening his eyes, he was treated to the sight of his lover still rocking above him, his hand moving swiftly along his own cock.

He brushed away the other man's fingers and, slipping free, rolled Daniel on to his back and took charge. As his lover arched into his grasp, he slipped his other arm around his shoulders, holding him tightly. Kissing his eyes, he leaned back and watched as Daniel gave in to devastating orgasm, the sight so magnificent he could hardly bear it.

Kissing that soft, open mouth, he had to touch the long, sweat-soaked neck, needed to cover the lithe body with his own. He was still full of wanting - but not physically, this time.

"Daniel?" he murmured softly, wondering when he'd got rid of his glasses.

The eyelids fluttered slightly then opened to reveal that wonderful, sensual gaze. "Yeah?"

"Do you know how incredible your eyes are?"

Daniel smiled up at him. "You've got it real bad, haven't you."

"Oh yeah," O'Neill replied slowly. "And you haven't?"

Nodding his head, Daniel's smile turned into a grin. "I always wondered what it would take to get you to change your mind."

O'Neill snorted and rolled onto his back. "Don't think anyone's ever tried this way before."

"You don't think?" Daniel sounded scandalised.

"Well, I suppose I would have remembered if this had ever happened before," O'Neill remarked, making his voice slightly questioning.

The thump on his chest has not gentle.

"Hey," he protested gruffly. "Watch the bodywork."

"Always have," came the cheery reply.

The idea that Daniel had been watching him surreptitiously, even whilst he had been doing the same thing, struck O'Neill as totally ridiculous and he started to laugh. Then something else occurred to him and, besides wondering why he hadn't thought of it earlier, he had to laugh even louder.

"Jeez, Danny," he spluttered eventually, "I've said it before, and no doubt I'll say it again, but you never cease to amaze me. You've done this before, haven't you."

"Of course," Daniel replied with a smile. "I wasn't that bad, was I?"

"You know what I always say." O'Neill decided that he wouldn't answer that blatant request for flattery; some things Dani