He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not 1

The First Mistake

by Malta

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asm/malta/heloves01.php
Summary: Daniel finally make his move and sets in motion something far worse than he could ever have imagined
Info: This story is intended to explore what might happen if Daniel made a move on Jack and it wasn't at all well recieved. Jack is very screwed up, reacts with violence and Daniel gets hurt. I've tried to concentrate on Daniel's reasoning for putting up with Jack's extreme response, and the belief in Jack that keeps Daniel going during an incedibly difficult time. There are also elements of non-con and possible erotic asphyxiation in later parts of He loves me, he loves me not. It's not intended to offend but rather to examine a difficult and emotive subject. If you find reading about domestic violence uncomfortable please choose another story. Finally, many many thanks to my wonderful beta reader MamaBeast, without whom the story would be far less than it is. I am very grateful you MB, you are amazing.

The soft yellow light bleeding through the broad leaf canopy from the planets twin suns was beautiful. The wind rustled in the thick bushes on the other side of the clearing, and twittering chaffinches swooped and dipped in the cool morning air. Daniel watched the graceful movements of the birds and listened to their chirps through the blood thumping in his ears, as he lay curled up on his side on the hard damp ground.

With his eyes he scanned around him for his glasses the long grass. He wasn't going to cry. Daniel knew he wasn't going to spot the glasses from here, especially since he wasn't wearing them but he couldn't quite bring himself to sit up, yet. He winced as he ran is hand over his abdomen, feeling the bruises he knew were blossoming there and on the skin of his chest. He felt his rib cage, but there were no broken ribs thankfully. He'd have a hard time explaining that to Frasier in the post-mission evaluation, even if he could get away with a few bruises from his "fall".

A crackle close by his left ear followed by a deep voice too loud for his growing headache startled him. "Daniel Jackson, are you in need of assistance?"

Daniel sat up slowly, cursing under his breath before grasping his lapel to reply to Teal'c "No, I'm fine." he caught a glint of sunlight against the thick green where his glasses had landed five or six feet away. "I'll be along in a minute or two."

"Very well. We await your return." came the immediate response from base camp. They would be about packed up by now and that was Teal'c's ever so polite way of telling him to get his ass in gear and get back. Carter would have already loaded the soil samples onto the MALP and be making last minute checks with the survey kit. Teal'c would probably be standing around somewhere looking stoic and Jack... well who the hell knew what Jack would be doing, it seemed Daniel didn't know him nearly as well as he thought he did.

With an audible groan Daniel stood. He picked his way over carefully to his sorry looking glasses and let out strangled squeak as bent to retrieve them. Making a mental note to himself not to attempt to take off his boots until the others had left the locker room on base, Daniel turned and headed back along the shady dirt path through the trees to camp.

They had pitched camp less than three hours from the Stargate when Sam had nearly wet herself over "energy readings to die for!" around a huge stone obelisk carved out of a granite outcrop. She had looked up pleadingly at Colonel O'Neill who had happily acquiesced since the UAV hadn't shown up anything else for at least forty miles around the gate, and he didn't much fancy a hike to nowhere just for the sheer heck of it.

"Let's get settled people. Teal'c, let's get the tents up shall we? Carter you go... play with your seismometer or whatever." Jack had said, eyeing up the tree line in anticipation of his perimeter search whilst Sam threw a look his way that was far too grateful under the circumstances.

"I'm just going to have a quick look at, um... that." Daniel said, gesturing towards the eight foot tall stone phallus that poked out of the ground towards the sky.

Jack smirked at Daniel and his eyes sparkled. He took a moment to speak, clearly deciding between the thousand and one jokes or innuendoes he could make about 'cock planet' before settling on "Sure Daniel. You just carry right along there." Daniel hesitated briefly and almost turned away confused when Jack continued in a lower voice "Let me know if you need any help with your rubbings."

Jack was grinning now. Bastard. But Daniel wasn't going to play nice any more. They'd spent weeks dancing round each other; Jack flirting or touching him or both, Daniel pretending not to notice whilst both of them knew that he had. Smiling shyly he cocked his head to one side as if considering a serious offer. Daniel licked his lips before replying "I'll keep that in mind Jack. I've never been one to refuse an extra pair of hands."

Jack's face abruptly fell and he stood motionless as Daniel managed to turn and trot towards the obelisk before a smile split his face in two. He wasn't even sure he understood what he'd said, but it was enough to wipe the smug smile off Jack's face and that in itself was intensely satisfying. It was the first time Daniel had really taken an active part in the little game they had going, and in doing so he changed all the rules.

Over the next forty eight hours, Jack barely left Daniel's side as he catalogued the ancient writing on the "giant dildo" as Jack put it. The ruins of a small temple about two hundred yards away through the thick forest also presented the unusual text, but the lack of any residual energy or radiation meant Sam lost interest in it fairly swiftly, much to Daniel's delight. Jack hovered, for his protection whilst Daniel videotaped the interior chambers which had not collapsed, making rude remarks at regular intervals about the interesting images on the plaster walls that had survived.

"That's a nice one." Jack said tapping his finger on the wall. Daniel looked up to see Jack admiring a gold leaf edged painting of a dick replete with huge veins, one of several that peppered the walls. Jack flashed a glance down at him where he crouched, brush in hand.

"Great shading." Jack continued, for all the world as if he was seriously critiquing the art. Daniel's breath hitched as Jack ran his finger along the image from tip to base. "Do you think it was a self portrait?"

Daniel wasn't quite sure what to think as his team mate flashed him an impish sideways smile. Jack had certainly upped the ante since the first day when he'd responded to Jack's little rubbing crack. Jack had even gone so far at one point as to stroke the back of Daniel's neck, albeit for the briefest time, to catch his attention over something. The shiver it had sent down Daniel's spine must have been obvious a mile off, it was so intense Daniel had wondered if it had been visible from space.

It wasn't simply that Jack had touched him, he was always doing that lately but always on the forearm, the back, the shoulder. No, it was all about where and how. A soft brush of his fingertips in a place that Jack knew would give Daniel a thrill.

They'd had the whole drunken erogenous zones conversation with Sam a couple of months before at the end of a very long evening in a sports bar in the Springs. Sam had begrudgingly admitted to having "a toe thing" which made Daniel shudder until Jack had whole heartedly agreed with her on that one, and suddenly the idea was perturbingly erotic.

"What about you Daniel?" Sam had asked, sipping at the dregs of her beer and failing to look at all as innocent as her tone. "What floats your boat?" She smiled, and gave a tiny snort at the phrase.

"My neck." He had replied after a moment's hesitation, needlessly flapping a hand towards his nape. He was painfully aware of Jack's eyes on him but too drunk to really notice when Jack's gaze slipped down to his throat. "Came once from a girl just kissing it..." Daniel froze, his eyes going wide before he felt the heat in his cheeks. "I can't believe I just told you that!"

He buried his face in his hands and tried to block out Sam's hysterical laughter, waiting for the inevitable wisecrack from Jack. But it never came, not then or in the cab home, or at Daniel's door when they said goodnight or even at the mission briefing the next morning when Daniel felt sure Jack would have some choice things lined up to embarrass the hell out of him with. No, Jack had never mentioned it at all, unlike Sam who brought it up it at least twice a week until Daniel found a way to get a foot fetish magazine delivered to the base in her name. She'd shut up pretty quickly after that.

Daniel ran his eyes over the picture that had so enraptured his CO. A small smile played on his lips. "It might be, though they're all different." He gestured at the other images around the small central chamber they occupied. "It's not the best one in here."

"I'll bet." Jack said. It was just two words, but the look that went with it had sparked something deep in Daniel's belly.

And so it went on for the rest of the day, the two of them dancing around the sparks that hung in the air between them without really putting it into words.

When darkness fell, the four of them perched on two fallen tree trunks that Teal'c had dragged to flank the fire. Daniel and Sam sat on one opposite the others, chatting amiably about nothing in particular and scooping self heating beef-stew-in-a-bag into their mouths. Every now and then Daniel would glance over to the other log, only to catch Jack watching him every time, silently communicating something. Daniel flashed a quick smile his way about the third or fourth time he caught his eye. Jack dropped his gaze and continued to talk to Teal'c about something Daniel couldn't quite catch.

Through the shimmering haze above the fire, Daniel looked on as Jack carefully absorbed Teal'c's argument. For a man who professed to "zone out" at the slightest hint of anything complex, Jack was doing a remarkably good job of keeping two conversations going at once. The first one with Teal'c was about the relative merits of Tauri and Jaffa close combat training; and the second, on an altogether different subject, was played out with his eyes across the fire.

Daniel's body was thrumming by the time they went to their tents, and he was more than a little disappointed when Jack took first watch. He'd hoped for a little pillow talk to pick up where they'd left off over dinner, but it was Jack's turn so he thought nothing of it.

It should have been his first clue. It should have been the point where his brain kicked in and told him that if Jack wanted to talk, that's when he would have done it. Instead, he'd resolved to approach Jack the following morning before they went back through the gate. With any luck they'd be all set up to step things up a little by the time they got home.

Daniel had fallen asleep with a smile on his face, a fluttering in his belly and entirely the wrong end of the stick.

By the time Daniel made it back to camp the tents and equipment were neatly stowed, the fire was turfed and the rest of SG1 looked like a tornado had hit. Something was very, very wrong and one look at Jack's face told Daniel exactly what it was.

"Well it's about time!" Jack yelled, his face just as red and angry as it had been half an hour before in the clearing. "Want to get a move on Jackson? Don't want to keep the General waiting do you?"

Jackson. Jackson. It hit Daniel hard, he'd really fucked this up hadn't he? How could he have read it so wrong? He felt like crawling into a very small hole somewhere and hiding for a long, long time. But this was no time for self pity and regret. It was time to get back to base, get though the debrief, the medical, God, the medical!, and get as far away from Jack as possible. Preferably without having to think at all.

"Sorry... I..." He mumbled shakily, avoiding Jack's challenging glare.

"I don't want to hear it! We're moving out. Teal'c take point." Jack marched off in the direction of the gate, without waiting for Teal'c to do as he'd asked. Okay, so not calmed down then.

Sam fell into step beside Daniel as they trotted off, noticeably faster than usual. Her face said it all; Jack must have come back from their little rendezvous a little out of sorts. "Daniel..." She began.

"Don't."

~~~

"Daniel, would you come through here please?"

Oh Fuck. Janet Frasier held the door to the private exam room open. It wasn't really a request and Daniel knew it. Picking himself up off the infirmary bed, he wrapped his arms tightly around his chest and tried not to feel the icy daggers Jack was staring into his back from across the ward where he was being checked out.

Frasier clicked the door shut and turned abruptly to face her patient who was hovering nervously in the middle of the room. "Alright, get it off."

Daniel hesitated. "Janet, its not what you...."

"The shirt Daniel. Take it off."

Daniel looked down at the floor defeated. He really couldn't reasonably refuse so he carefully pulled the black T shirt over his head. The slow movement caused a jolt of pain across his ribs as he raised his arms and he couldn't stifle a groan.

"Jesus Daniel!" Janet said as she approached and started poking and prodding at his torso. "Why didn't you say something when you came through the Gate?"

"I didn't notice." Daniel lied, badly.

Janet narrowed her eyes at him and he felt about three feet tall. She continued to feel across his chest and back. Christ, did he have bruises there too? Right, probably from when he landed. Janet paused in front of his face. "Do you want to tell me how this happened?" Again, not really a request.

"I fell. Tripped." He still couldn't meet her eyes.

"Oh please, don't try and pull that one. Next you'll be telling me you ran into his fists."

Daniel's head shot up at that. "His fists?"

"I have eyes Daniel. Did you think I wouldn't notice the atmosphere out there?" She asked throwing her hand out towards the door, clearly more than a little annoyed. "Teal'c and Major Carter have hardly said two words since they came in and Colonel O'Neill..." She slowed her voice a little when she noticed his sharp intake of breath. "He's been, well seething is a good word for it. He nearly tore Nurse Harries in two when she tried to take his temperature!"

"He didn't do this Janet." Daniel tried desperately to look sincere, but even he could feel the begging in his voice as he said it.

"That why Harries is bandaging his knuckles?" Daniel squeezed his eyes tightly shut but said nothing. Janet went on, "These injuries are not consistent with a fall..."

"It was rocky." He cut her off. "And on an incline. I... I should have been more careful." And wasn't that the understatement of the year. "Please Janet." He looked up at her then. "Please."

Janet was quiet for a long time. Too long.

"There's no broken bones." She stated finally. "But you are going to be sore for a couple of weeks." Daniel let out a tiny whoosh of relief. "I'm letting this go Daniel, for now. But I don't expect to see you having any more 'falls' on missions, do I make myself clear?"

In other words, the two of you better sort this out, and fast.

"Yes ma'am." He said mildly as he grappled with his T-shirt again.

She handed him two small silver pill packets; one filled with painkillers, the other sleeping pills. Daniel cast her a puzzled look at that. "Trust me you'll thank me in the morning. You're not going to be getting comfortable on that back any time soon."

No, he thought, I really won't.

Daniel steeled himself before stepping back to the main infirmary ward only to find that Jack had already left anyway. He didn't want to think about him, it only made him feel monumentally stupid, but the choice was taken out of his hands as he rounded the corner to the corridor by his office.

Sam was hovering by his door. "Daniel there you are!" she said, wringing her fingers together in the universal sign for 'all is not well'. "I've been waiting for ages, are you okay?"

Daniel took a moment to consider her question. Was he okay? No pretty much devastated just about covered it actually. Wouldn't happen to have a bridge handy for me to throw myself off would you?, he thought testily but instead said "I'm fine" and scuttled through his office door, flipping on the harsh overhead light. He hoped she would recognise this for what it was; a polite attempt to get his friend to back off.

"Well you could have fooled me!" Sam followed him inside and immediately started to pick at the chipped edge of the large desk in the centre of the room. Okay so not backing off then. "What happened, Daniel?" she asked.

"Wh... what do you mean?" Daniel tried to look casual and busied himself by starting up his computer. He remembered the pill packets too late as he sat down, hearing the plastic crinkle in his back pocket.

"What happened on two-nine-nine between you and the Colonel?" Sam demanded, getting straight to the point. She leaned into his personal space as she said it, trying to wedge herself into the space between where he perched on edge of the stool and the computer screen, deliberately in his line of sight.

"Nothing happened Sam." He insisted, but she only leaned closer to him waiting for more. "I'm fine. Really, it's all... fine."

"Bullshit!" She cried, startling an Airman who had the misfortune to pass by the door just at that moment. He must have had a strong sense of self preservation however, since he kept his eyes front and centre. Hurriedly, Sam lowered her voice. "You were both fine when you went off to walk the perimeter. Happy as clams and then..." She looked down at her hands as if her nerve was suddenly wavering "He was so angry Daniel. I've never seen him like that before. What the hell happened?"

"It's nothing Sam, really." Daniel tried his best to reassure her, knowing all too well that if 'holy Hannah' was swearing it certainly didn't come across as nothing. Sam looked sceptical and waited, brows knit, for him to continue. "Nothing we can't work out."

Daniel hoped the desperation in that statement didn't show. He knew full well he was trying to convince himself as much as her. "So I was right" she stated, and for a split second Daniel felt his stomach drop through the floor.

"Right about what?" he enquired cautiously, folding his fingers together on the desk to halt the urge to start nervously drumming his fingertips.

Sam looked so sad as she looked at him. "You had a fight, I thought as much."

Daniel tried desperately to raise her spirits. Plastering on a painfully fake smile he said "It's not like it's the first time Sam. We fight all the time. You of all people should know that." He could feel the deceit in his words as he tried to downplay the situation.

"Not like this." Sam continued in a small voice that was so unlike her. "He was livid Daniel. Like some sort of animal, practically foaming at the mouth."

Daniel inwardly cringed at the words. He knew exactly how angry Jack had been, and the evidence was rapidly turning black and purple all over his body. The thought of it made him squirm involuntarily in his seat. "I'm sure he wasn't that bad." He wasn't sure, wasn't sure at all.

"He was that bad, and after... well he just stopped talking. I tried in the infirmary after you left and it was like he didn't hear a word I said." Daniel felt each word claw at him and he knew he was the cause of every moment of Sam's anguish over this. Sam looked almost embarrassed then and looked away sideways. "I didn't know what was wrong so I followed him Daniel. He went straight to the range."

"The range?" Daniel said, but it wasn't so much a question as an attempt to accept what she'd said. Jack was incensed and rightly so, and it was all his fault. Jack was so mad at him, so disgusted by what Daniel had offered that he'd needed to go shoot the hell out of something.

Daniel took a moment to realise that Jack's reaction could have been much, much worse. He could easily have had a bullet hole or two to show Frasier when he got back. Or he could have not made it back at all. How could he have messed this up so royally? What the hell had possessed him to make a play for his special ops trained, twenty five years in the military CO?

"He's still there." Sam continued, and he could see the begging in her eyes to do something to fix it as she folded her arms.

Maybe he didn't know Jack at all. Just thinking about the man, fifteen floors above them firing blankly at a target that Daniel would bet money resembled him in Jacks head right now made him wince. Could be worse, he thought, at least he didn't head straight for the General to get you kicked off the team.

Yet.

Sam was still hanging there, ready to grasp any reassurance he could give her. "I'll sort it Sam. I promise." He said, forcing another false tight lipped smile her way. "Don't worry, it'll blow over in a day or two." Yeah, like when they find my body.

It seemed to be what Sam was waiting to hear as she visibly relaxed and let out a breath he didn't realise she'd been holding. If only he could have her confidence in his ability to patch things up.

"Okay." She said warmly, pushing herself away from the edge of the desk. "I know you'll sort this out." She stated, and gave him the eyes. Sam was the queen of the guilt trip when she wanted to be, and her words were so loaded he knew they were given as a command. Daniel was still wondering when she'd started taken lessons from Janet when Sam said pointedly "See you in the debrief Daniel." turned and headed out of the door.

He nodded as she left before letting his forehead drop down to the desk. This was so not how he'd pictured this day going when he'd made up his mind last night to finally act on the sexual tension between himself and Jack. Or what he thought was sexual tension. In his version, Jack would have returned his feelings in some way not... well, not done what he did.

Daniel felt like an idiot, and again he sensed tears brimming in his eyes. Rejection he could have handled, maybe. But Jack had not only crushed his hopes for a deeper relationship between them, he'd done his best to destroy any chance they might have had at staying friends.

~~~

The debriefing with General Hammond went a well as could be expected. Thankfully Jack had calmed down at last but his mood seemed to have gone off the other end of the scale after his little session of trigger therapy. He was totally shut down, his stony exterior giving nothing away. He answered the General's questions quickly and succinctly, cracking only the barest of miserable smiles when Daniel relayed details about the interesting artwork present in the ruins when normally he would have sounded off at length about the strategic importance of knowing how big the enemy was, or some such crap. If anything his jaw seemed to clench a little tighter as Daniel spoke.

Jack didn't look at Daniel at all during the forty minutes in which they recounted everything that had happened on the tranquil, tree covered planet. Well almost everything. Not that Daniel was surprised, he hardly expected him to come out with "Yes sir, we talked about our cocks for two days, went for a romantic walk and then I beat the crap out of my archaeologist."

Jack's body language was giving off a warning at twenty paces, and Daniel could practically feel the tension all over his skin, like static electricity. Jack would want him off the team now for sure, maybe out of the SGC altogether, and Daniel had brought it all on himself.

"Is there anything you'd like to add Dr Jackson?" came Hammond's dulcet tones, and Daniel realised with a jolt that he'd zoned out. "You've been unusually quiet."

"Huh?" Daniel sat upright in his chair as Sam turned to look at him imploringly. She'd been talking non-stop for the last ten minutes and was obviously out of scientific data to distract the General with. "Erm, no sir I think what I said earlier about covers it. A fascinating place from a purely archaeological standpoint but I don't think it'll help us defeat the Goa'uld any time soon." He added as an afterthought in a lower voice. "I don't see any reason for us to go there again."

"Very well." Hammond flipped the manila file in front of him on the desk closed. "Dismissed. Take tomorrow off people." As Sam opened her mouth to interject about some vital task she needed to do in her lab he amended quickly "Desk it if you must then, I'll see you 0800 Friday." Hammond then moved his chair back to rise.

Jack was off like a shot. Up, out of his seat and then the door in three seconds flat. Daniel almost felt the gust of air as he rushed past and was gone. Daniel decided he needed to do something, Jack obviously needed some space. He hadn't kicked Daniel out on his ass yet but in his current frame of mind that surely couldn't be too far behind. "Would it be possible to have a moment of your time General?" he asked "In private." It would be best all round if he got out of Jack' face for a while.

Hammond nodded briefly and Daniel followed him into his office, ignoring the worried looks he was getting from Sam. "What can I do for you son?" The General asked, taking a seat behind his huge oak writing desk and motioning for Daniel to sit opposite.

"I need to ask for some personal time. I haven't taken any time off in months so I know I must have plenty saved up." He began, straight to the point. He was fairly certain from Hammond's behaviour in the debriefing that Jack hadn't had a private word with him beforehand about their little spat. Still he fidgeted, and felt the General's silence pressing him for more. "I'm really run down and I could do with a break."

General Hammond eyed Daniel up and down before leaning towards him over the desk. The man looked like a wreck, and he could well believe he was overwrought. "Is there anything I should know about Dr Jackson?"

"No sir, I just really, really need some time out. Need to get my head together for a couple of weeks."

The General sat back in his high backed leather chair and seemed to think it over for a few moments. He couldn't have failed to notice the decidedly tense atmosphere in the debriefing. "Two weeks." He said finally.

"Thank you." Daniel breathed and rose to leave.

As he pulled the door open to exit the office he heard the General call his name to pull back his attention. He kept his face to the door though, unsure he'd be able to maintain his blank expression otherwise. "Make sure you leave a number with my secretary so we can contact you if needs be."

Daniel didn't say anything, but visibly reddened. Hammond wasn't stupid, he knew something was going on even if he didn't call him on it, and he knew Daniel well enough that he was going to make himself scarce for a couple of weeks. He was giving him the option to do what he needed to, and come back in a better state.

"I will." Daniel said before scurrying off towards the elevator, desperately hoping he didn't have to talk to anyone else before he reached his car.

~~~

Thirteen days later, Daniel kicked his apartment door shut with the heel of his foot, dropped his car keys in the little clay pot on the table by the door and traipsed along the short hallway to his living room. It was early evening and the room was already nearly dark. Flicking on the tall standing lamp he slowly sifted through the fistful of mail he held in his hand; pizza menus, credit card bill, credit card offer, reader's digest circular, electricity bill, another credit card offer... and a flyer from the handyman Ted who lived two floors down. That was it. No urgent summons or heartfelt note from some distant second cousin. No love letters.

Daniel threw the lot on the coffee table with a small huff and stretched out his back. He heard his spine click, twice, hardly surprising after the four hour drive back from Santa Fe. He'd managed to find a pretty cheap hotel, and had almost but not quite managed to get laid by a pretty, cheap woman in the hotel bar.

Cynthia had been quite charming in that red wine stained lips sort of way, but Daniel had chickened out at the last minute, making his excuses and retiring to his modest suite. That night, like every other whilst he'd been away he had slipped into the shower and jerked off, before berating himself with the guilt of having imagined Jack in the bathroom watching him do it.

I guess a little space hasn't helped me shake this thing he thought sullenly. And why the hell couldn't he get all twitchy over Sam or one of the nurses or Ted the handyman or ANYONE else? Although if he was honest Sam probably had a right hook to match Jack's so it wouldn't necessarily have improved matters much.

Daniel pulled a cold bottle of cranberry juice from the fridge and stepped back over to the phone. The little red light on the answering machine blinked at him, eleven new messages. Maybe I'm not so unpopular after all, he thought, pressing the button to listen. The first was received the day they returned from cock planet. It was probably already on his machine when he came home, but since he'd packed a bag and headed out in less than ten minutes he must have missed it.

"Hi Dr Jackson. Daniel." The message began "It's er... Peter. Um... if you could give me a call when you get this, I really need your help with this translation for Monday. Thanks... see you later."

Crap, sorry Peter. Daniel knew that Captain Johnson was shipping out with SG-5 the week after they'd got back, and he was too late to help him out now. It was probably a good thing, Daniel decided. Peter was new and needed to have a little more confidence in his work. He just hoped he'd been able to sort though it by himself in the end.

The machine began to play the next message. It could have been a breath, or maybe not, then a few seconds of silence and then nothing. The caller hung up without saying a word. Daniel refused to let himself hope it was... no, he wasn't going there. He checked the date and time anyway; ten thirty the night they got back, six hours after he'd hightailed it out of Hammond's office.

The next message was from the next morning at just after nine, the first official day of his 'leave'. It was another one from Peter, sounding a little more desperate and lot like he'd been up all night.

The next two were from people at the base, one in his department at eleven fifteen, one in Sam's at one thirty. Both were seeking his advice on artefacts brought back through the gate that week. Daniel gave a small chuckle as Sam's assistant tried her best to pronounce the Latin words on the side of what they assumed to be a power source of come kind. She ended up saying something altogether different in Ancient which wasn't repeatable.

Daniel flopped down on his sofa, crossed his legs at the ankles and took a swig from the bottle. He leaned his head back only to bolt upright again at the sixth message, three twenty two pm on his first day of leave. It sounded like something was very wrong indeed.

"Hi Daniel, it's me." Sam sounded agitated, and her voice was low like she didn't want anyone else to hear. "If you're there pick up... okay please call me the second you get this. Please." She hung up. Daniel stood dazed in the middle of his front room. This was bad. Did she know? Did Jack tell her what happened?

Daniel made his way slowly back to the phone while another frantic plea from Peter played unheard. He had to call. She might not know; he doubted Jack was in that much of a hurry to let people know how he'd reacted that day on the planet. Hell, if Daniel didn't feel so guilty and embarrassed he might even be angry.

Daniel's hand hovered over the receiver when the next message began to play; one fifty am the first Sunday he'd been away. There was that silence again, but if he listened really carefully he could make out something in the background, like soft music before the caller hung up. The next call was a half hour later. This time the music was gone but a male voice on the recording cleared its throat, but still said nothing.

It could have been him. He stilled, waiting for the last two messages to play and was annoyed to find them both from Peter. He replayed the silent ones, turning up the volume and trying to make out what he could. Apart from the light classical music on one message, and the throat clearing (which sure as hell sounded a lot like Jack), there was nothing.

Lifting the phone from its cradle, he automatically dialled Jack's number but caught himself before he put in the last digit. He called Sam's house instead but receiving no answer rang through to the mountain switchboard. It was nearly seven but Sam could easily still be in her lab. A crisp, young military voice chirped almost immediately.

"Hi." Daniel began "Can you put me through to Major Carter please. It's Dr Jackson." and gave his authorisation code.

"Yes sir. I'll try her extension for you." The young man replied and the line was put on hold for a few moments. Daniel bit his lower lip as he waited. This was going to be awkward he was sure of it. "She's available sir. Putting you through now."

Daniel was halfway through mumbling an apology when there was a small crackle on the line and then Sam's high voice. "Daniel! Where have you been, I left you about fifty messages on your cell! The General wouldn't tell us where you were, are you okay?"

Daniel groaned inwardly, he hadn't even checked his cell phone yet. He'd purposely put it in the kitchen drawer when he left, opting to call the base to give the number of the hotel instead for emergencies. He didn't want the hassle of thinking about anything for a while. "Sorry Sam, I should have let you know I was going. That was selfish of me. I'm fine though, really. Just needed to get away and sort some things out."

"You shouldn't have gone Daniel. Look, I don't know what happened between you and the Colonel..." Sam trailed off for a moment, giving him the chance to fill her in. If you don't know I'm not going to tell you, Daniel thought especially not on a monitored line. Sam seemed to understand his silence and continued "but when he found out you were gone he..." This was obviously something she was having difficulty phrasing right. "He was a little upset. And General Hammond wouldn't tell him where you went, and that only made him worse. He was er... asked to go to a holding cell to 'cool down'."

"What?!" That brought Daniel up sharp. "What do you mean? What did he do?!"

"And then he was suspended from duty for a week without pay." Sam continued as though he hadn't spoken. "He's hardly said a word to anyone since he came back. Just walking around with a face like thunder." Sam lowered her voice and Daniel got the impression she just remembered she was talking about her senior officer. "He's been pretty unbearable to be honest. If he wasn't my CO..."

Daniel read the subtext and gathered that Jack and she must have had words at some point. If she was hounding Jack as much as she was him, he could only imagine what those words had been. He tried again to find out what went on. "Sam, why was Jack sent to a holding cell?"

"I told you, the General wouldn't tell him... us... where you were. The Colonel wouldn't take no for an answer. He got pretty, erm, vocal."

Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned back, resting his ass against the phone table. "Vocal." He repeated.

"Yeah. With General Hammond." Sam seemed to want to say more, but Daniel knew she was in a difficult position here what with it not exactly being just a two way conversation. And once again it was his fault. He'd promised to sort this out with Jack but instead he'd gone running off with his tail between his legs. What a fucking coward, he thought.

"I'm really, really sorry Sam."

Sam didn't ask what he was sorry about, she knew he blamed himself for the tension after the mission but that was no excuse for Colonel O'Neill's behaviour. "I take it you two haven't made up yet then."

"No. Not yet." Daniel confessed, feeling every bite of condemnation in her words. "I'll call him." he tried, even though he had no intention of doing so.

Sam wasn't convinced. "He's at home. Go see him."

"I really don't think he wants to see me right now..."

"Go see him Daniel." She cut him off with the 'mom knows best' voice, and Daniel felt himself rapidly running out of options.

~~~

Two hours of nervous pacing and another hour of sitting in his car staring at Jack's front door later, Daniel finally garnered the courage to ring the bell, and was greeted by... nothing. No answer. He tried again, adding a chirpy but he hoped not too annoying knock. Still nothing. This wasn't like Jack at all. His pristine, freshly waxed blue truck was in the drive, so he couldn't be far. The sitting room light was on, but Daniel couldn't make out anything through the blinds even when he cupped his hands to the cold glass. He felt for the key ring in his pocket, the one with the key Jack had given him years before, before changing his mind and trudging around the side of the house.

The patio door by the deck was ajar, and Daniel hopped up the three steps onto the wooden flooring by the grill and pushed his way inside. The heavy glass door squealed as he did so. Nice, he thought, real stealthy asshole.

The room was a mess. Beer bottles, takeout boxes and dirty clothes littered the floor. The trash can was overflowing with more... junk. The tables and the recliner were saturated with a thin crusty layer of chip and nacho dust. It reminded Daniel of the aftermath of a college party.

Jack was lying on his back on the big green sofa, head propped up on the arm at the opposite end, ankles crossed with an empty crystal tumbler cradled on his stomach in both hands. He had his eyes closed and looked like he had fallen asleep. Daniel wouldn't have been surprised if the three quarters empty bottle of scotch on the coffee table was anything to go by.

"Did you think maybe I didn't answer the door because I didn't want to see you?" Jack asked caustically without disturbing his pose at all.

"That why you called my apartment in the middle of the night three times while I was away?" Daniel fired back before he could stop himself.

Jack's brown eyes shot open. They flared darkly as he said in a low voice "Get out."

"I can't do that. We need to talk about this..." Daniel began, ready to launch into the apology he'd been working on for two weeks.

"Let me make this real clear." Jack still hadn't moved from the sofa, but he was holding his body more rigidly now and his fingertips scraped at the glass. "Get out of my house you fucking fag."

Daniel bit his lower lip and dropped his gaze to his shoes before looking straight back up into Jack's face defiantly. "I made a mistake. A huge one. I cannot begin to tell you how sorry..."

"Damn right you made a mistake! What the hell is wrong with you Daniel? I'm a goddamn Colonel in..."

"The United States Air Force." Daniel finished for him, sounding sadder about it than he'd meant to.

"Don't do that." Jack said, looking somewhat irked.

"What?" Daniel asked, furrowing his brow.

"Finish my sentences. I hate that."

"I'm sorry, I know. I try not to do it."

"Good, glad that's settled. Now, fuck off out of my sight." Jack sounded angry, and though he didn't slur his words, something in the soft focus of his eyes gave away the fact that he was drunk. It had taken Daniel a few years to recognise the signs, since Jack was always careful to appear sober and in control no matter what. He could pull it off too, if you didn't know him well. But Daniel did know him well, and the slightly shallow breathing and flushed neck were a dead giveaway.

"Jack I just want..."

"Did I not make it abundantly clear on the planet that I am not the least bit interested in what you want? I thought I spelled that out rather nicely." And he had. He'd told Daniel exactly what he thought of him with every blow.

"I need to..."

But Jack was off the sofa like lightning, and before he knew it Daniel found himself pressed up against the glass of the patio door. Jack wasn't touching him at all, he didn't need to, but it still made Daniel's heart race. He held himself about two inches away from Daniel's nose.

"I do not now, nor will I ever give a shit what you need. You're a lying cock sucking pervert. You have no business working with the military, you two faced fucker. I meant every word I said to you." He paused and drew so close Daniel could feel the heat of Jack's tangy alcohol laced breath on his lips.

"I really want to hurt you right now." Jack whispered, his eyes fluttering closed for a few seconds. "I want to cave your pretty little head in. I haven't wanted to do that to someone who wasn't a Goa'uld in a long time and I hate you for it."

Jack took a step back and folded his arms across his shirt in front of him. "Get. Out." He said again forcefully.

Daniel knew he was deadly serious about wanting to hurt him, and they'd already crossed that boundary anyway. There were waves of adrenaline, anger and pain coming from Jack, and Daniel knew now was the wrong time to push. He took the hint and slipped back out of patio door, cursing himself for the excitement he felt in Jack's presence.

Jack watched as Daniel paused in the garden and scrubbed his hand through his hair. Daniel didn't look back at the house, but quickly turned off towards his car instead.

Daniel heard the sound of glass shattering from the driveway, and briefly his eyes flicked to the front door then back to his car. He didn't pause in his steps, and when he reached the Volvo he pulled open the door, stepped inside and drove quickly away.

~~~

P4X-112 was a typical run of the mill ex-Goa'uld outpost. Ornate temples dedicated to Bastet were carved out of sheer rock faces, and dotted the cliffs around the Stargate pedestal. The limestone walls of the ancient valley wound down to a town sized settlement in the foothills that so far had been friendly and welcoming.

The people of the 'village' were more than happy to let Daniel stomp around the sacred places of the "great ones", and Carter was making friends among the healing community. The villagers seemed to have some unique herbal remedies for common diseases, and Sam was optimistic about the potential for samples and trade.

SG-1 were enjoying a meal in the wooden communal hall with the town elders and their families on their second night on the planet the natives called Masouk. The floorboards creaked over the bare earth as the after dinner entertainment of light wind and string instruments started up. The atmosphere was relaxed, and both Daniel and Sam had found themselves in conversation with the locals, whilst trying to politely refuse refills of the bitter root tea being offered around on silver trays by the older children.

With no threats on the horizon, Teal'c was calm and stood with his staff at ease. Jack on the other hand, was twitchier than hell. "I'm telling you, this planet is a bust." He kept saying in Carter's ear whenever she ended up close enough to hear. "We should cut our losses. I don't like it."

"Sir, I really think there could be something useful to us in the local medicine." She tried again, "Their incidence of all the major diseases is pretty darn low even though they don't see to have developed any kind of antibiotics as far as I can tell, and their survival rate in the hospital is fantastic thanks to bandages made from..."

He held his hand up to stop her before she could go on. Patting her arm lightly he interrupted gently with "Great stuff. Bag it up, and let's go."

"But sir, the fibre for the bandages is harvested from an indigenous..."

"Get a sample then and let's get the hell out of here. These people need us a lot more than we need them Major."

"Jack, I don't think our hosts would take too kindly to us leaving in the middle of a party, particularly not one thrown in our honour."

Jack turned sharply at the sound of Daniel's voice. Daniel fought the instinct to duck and brazened it out instead, he'd just found out something very interesting from the local priest and desperately wanted the opportunity to talk more. If the team left now in the middle of the night he would lose his chance.

"I don't remember asking your opinion." Jack stated simply, his jovial tone at odds with the ice in his eyes.

"No, but we're not due back till five tomorrow afternoon, and I think there might be something important here. I'm trying to get to the bottom of it but the priest's a bit... cagey."

"Cagey. That's not a good word for potential allies now is it Daniel?!" Jack's temper was obviously ready to flare and despite the wide smile he had plastered on, the raised voice was attracting a few whispers around the room. Daniel eyed the people around them and tried to look apologetic but Jack was oblivious as he continued. "The priests may have some shit-hot artefact for you to get your panties in a twist over but unless we're talking turning the tide of the war type stuff here we're leaving. Now."

Daniel lowered his voice deliberately and hooked Jack in the only way he knew how. Stepping up close he leaned in toward Jack's ear and gently took hold of his shoulder to hold him in place to listen. Jack froze at the sudden softness of the touch. In months gone by he would have thought nothing of it, he was always making contact between their skin whenever he could, but this was a visible shock to him. It was the first time they'd touched since it happened, and Daniel was determined to press that to his advantage.

"I think it's got something to do with why the Goa'uld left the planet in such a hurry." Daniel breathed close to his ear where no one else could hear. It was an intimate thing to do, and it was a risk but Daniel was willing to take it.

Jack seemed to pause suddenly, his eyes fluttering closed for the briefest moment. He made no move to pull away from Daniel's grasp. Eventually he whispered brokenly "You have until noon tomorrow." He looked up straight into Daniel's eyes and Daniel felt his stomach flip over at the intensity of it. "This better be worth it."

With that he sped off through the crowd, marched through the door and was gone. Daniel watched him leave and hoped to God his hunch was right. He couldn't afford to hurt Jack any more than he already had.

In the two weeks since Daniel had tried unsuccessfully to clear the air at Jack's house, Jack had managed to maintain the perfect cool detached public face, regaining even the General's trust along the way by seemingly getting his "head out of his ass" as Hammond had put it after Jack apologised and offered himself up to his mercy, citing temporary insanity brought about by "those stupid slimy snaky bastards... oh and too much sugar in way too many coffees."

Jack was good at it, broadcasting what people wanted to see. He laughed at Ferretti's jokes over breakfast in the commissary, joked around with Teal'c in the Gym (as far as anyone could joke around with Teal'c), even volunteered to take Cassie out to teach her some basketball tricks ready for the fall try-outs at school.

Jack had promised Janet he'd make her daughter "the next Rodman, guaranteed." If only Daniel hadn't caught the glance Jack sent his way when Janet suggested he come along too, he could have pretended everything was going to be okay. But that look had seemed so crushed, so desperately sad. It had said everything Daniel was afraid of, and more. Despite the charm offensive around the SGC Jack was really hurting, and it was all his fault.

Daniel couldn't help but feel that by putting the moves on him like he had done; he'd somehow betrayed the special bond they'd been working on all these years.

Watching Jack's slumped shoulders disappearing through the throng of revellers did something horrible to Daniel's stomach. Touching Jack's shoulder like that, rubbing in what had happened just to persuade him to do what he wanted suddenly seemed cruel and made Daniel feel even more of a shit than he already knew he was.

In the first briefing the morning after Daniel returned from his "vacation", Jack hadn't so much as looked in his direction. The Colonel was practically the poster boy for the consummate Air Force professional. Every time the General had asked for his input Jack was all 'yes sir, no sir, three bags right away coming up sir!' and Daniel could see that Hammond was more than happy that his 2IC seemed to have got his act together again after whatever it was that had caused what the General now charitably referred to as his "judgement blip."

Jack even managed a convincing degree of enthusiasm about the mission, going so far as to rub his hands together in mock glee at one point to the amusement of everyone in the room, particularly Sam who hid her smirk behind her hand and coughed unconvincingly.

The fact that Jack was still smiling at work in and of itself gave Daniel the tiniest flint of hope to cling to. Maybe things were screwed now on a personal level, but at least he could still have Jack like this. It could have been so much worse.

"So, if there's nothing more." Hammond had said in the briefing and looked pointedly in O'Neill's direction waiting out any objections, comments or last minute observations he might have.

That's Jack's style all over, Daniel thought as he watched the familiar gesture wait until everyone thinks you've completely zoned out of the room and then 'bam', hit 'em with the bits you saw that will get everyone killed that nobody else even noticed.

Jack shook his head slightly that the plan was 'all good', and Hammond nodded approvingly. "You have a go for one hour's time."

"Sounds good Sir." Carter was already excited about the UAV reports and tried hard not to leap down to her office to grab what she needed.

"I believe this planet will offer us the opportunity to fulfil the role of premier first contact team, to safeguard the future of the Tauri and work towards implementing the SGC mission statement." Everyone in the room turned to look at Teal'c, who steepled his fingers in response. "I have been reading the new recruits training handbook." he explained.

Daniel couldn't help but smile widely. He turned back and his gaze locked automatically with Jack's. There was unexpected warmth in the look for the first time in weeks and Daniel felt only faintly guilty that he had hijacked the friendly expression Jack had intended for their team mate. Mostly he just felt his toes tingle as he stuttered out "Yes, I think..."

But Jack was ready and cut him off before he had a chance. Smile plastered firmly in place he summed up "Standard meet and greet Sir. We go in. Looks peachy but either they have something we want and don't want to share, or they have nothing we want, or Daniel offends some local bigwig or touches something he shouldn't and we get shot at and come home empty handed as usual." The General rubbed a hand over his lower face; his earlier air of relief at the Colonel's professionalism deflating somewhat. Jack looked mildly surprised and didn't try to disguise the fact that his grin was long gone. "What? That's the way these things usually go down isn't it? Sir?"

Daniel spoke into the table top, embarrassed by Jack's hostility thinly veiled with humour. Years of verbal sparring kicking in he defended himself with "Except for the part where I offend the local bigwig." then looking straight at Jack added, "Isn't that normally you?"

"Do we have a problem here?" The General asked, balling his fist up on the table as Jack and Daniel exchanged an icy glare.

"No problem." They said in unison, still instinctively staring each other out. Jack's face softened for a split second and he looked away.

"Daniel's just pissed 'cos I know he can't keep his hands to himself offworld." Jack said suddenly, and Daniel as pretty sure he couldn't turn more red if he tried. "Right guys?" Jack said, flashing a winning smile across the table to Teal'c and back to Sam "Mr Touchy Feely here always gets itchy fingers right before the proverbial hits the fan."

"Actually Sir, there was that trap door on P2X-493..." Carter chimed in, her tone all sweetness and light as she reminded her CO of the last time he'd got a little touchy feely with a stone wall and accidentally activated the hidden mechanism for the "Great big honkin' hole in the floor that's not supposed to be here!" as Jack had put it.

Wrong footed, Jack visibly gulped. "Wasn't my fault."

"As I believe you said at the time O'Neill." Teal'c agreed imperiously "Though you said it much louder. From the bottom of a well."

Jack narrowed his eyes. Wrong footed and outnumbered. "Traitors." He murmured and slid down in his chair like a teenager. He glanced briefly at Daniel from his new pose. It was only a moment but it was enough to tell Daniel that despite the banter, Jack was still unbelievably pissed with him and wanted to make sure they both knew exactly what he was talking about. Daniel kept quiet until the colour in his cheeks faded.

Hammond seemed pacified by the display, and brought the meeting to a close with "SG-1 you leave at ten hundred hours. Get moving." As an afterthought he added evenly. "Colonel O'Neill, a moment of your time."

Daniel didn't look at Jack as he collected his notes and left, but Jack watched him until he disappeared out into the corridor. Daniel was still a little angry at him for talking like that he knew what Jack was really saying even if the rest of the people there didn't. And where the hell did Jack get off trying to humiliate him like that? Yes, he'd fucked things up between them on a personal level but couldn't Jack be professional about it all at work? If not, then how exactly was he going to do his job?

Things didn't really improve much over the next few days after they came back from the mission. Jack didn't come by Daniel's office except on official business, and even then it was curt and unfriendly. Jack could just about stand to be around him in company, but when they were by themselves he kept his distance physically and got the hell out of Dodge as quickly as possible. They stopped going to lunch together, though Daniel found Jack and Sam together in the commissary on several occasions. When they were off-world Jack spent as little time with him as possible, preferring to split into two teams of two with Teal'c invariably covering him.

It hurt to be shut out, but he could understand Jack's attitude. Sam's attitude on the other hand, was a mystery to him. In the briefing she'd sort of fought his corner, but something in the way they spoke now was uncomfortable. She had tried a couple more times to persuade Daniel to sort things out with Jack but since their CO had started spending more time with her she had become colder toward him. Several times she had inadvertently given the impression that she thought the situation was Daniel's fault, and she was right. In his more panicked moments Daniel couldn't help but worry that Jack had clued her in as to what had happened on the planet, but in truth he knew that Sam would never condone what Jack had done.

Daniel was feeling more and more like Jack was trying to edge him out of the unit. He was flirting obviously with Carter and Daniel had the distinct impression that it was for his benefit. Look at me! Jack seemed to be saying. I'm a straight guy, see!

Things had come to a head in the locker room before the mission to Masouk. Daniel was fiddling with his laces on the bench while the other three were facing their lockers, checking their equipment and uniforms. Sam was chatting to Jack about something and Daniel wasn't paying much attention. If it hadn't been for the fact that the room went so quiet after she spoke, he might have missed it. "....and that woman behind the bar with the tattoo! She was so hitting on you Teal'c. 'Murray... such a powerful name.'" Sam chuckled as she tried to pull off a southern accent and failed. "It's a shame you were busy Daniel, it was a lot of fun."

Daniel's head shot up when he heard his name. His eyes were drawn immediately to Jack who was standing very, very still. "What?" He asked, pausing stupidly as he retied his left boot.

"I said it's a shame you couldn't come out with us last night. Team nights are weird without you! That makes two in a row." Daniel felt his stomach sinking through the floor. Sam went on "You should have seen Teal'c trying to fend off the ladies!"

Jack still hadn't moved, and Daniel could see the tension in the muscles of his back through his standard issue black tee shirt.

"The women of this planet are indeed formidable in their advances." Teal'c agreed, but Daniel couldn't tear his eyes away from Jack. "I was however successful in deterring their interest."

"Deterring is right! You practically growled at them! You should have seen it Daniel, one Jaffa versus an army of Colorado singletons, it was hilarious."

"I was busy?" Daniel said, but he wasn't sure if anyone but Jack heard the question in his tone. And he knew Jack heard it, because right then he slammed his locker door shut and turned squarely to face Daniel, daring him to call him on his blatant lie. "That's right, busy." he continued. "You know me. So many translations, so little time." The last few words were spat with such venom, that Daniel was shocked at himself.

Jack must have told the others that Daniel had plans last night, and so freed the three of them to go out without him. For the second time in a row apparently. It was clear that Jack couldn't really stand to be in the same room as him at work, so it shouldn't have been a surprise that Jack didn't want to socialise with him anymore.

It still hurt though, it hurt so much in that moment that Daniel wondered if the pain in his chest might kill him. It was then that Daniel realised that Jack was slowly cutting him out of not only his own life, but out of SG-1 as well. And there was nothing he could do about it.

~~~

Daniel was working hard cataloguing the text that adorned the interior walls of the thirty or so temples that clung to the sides of the rocky valley. The wording was no problem, an old Goa'uld dialect that Daniel recognised. The writing did seem to have an unusual sentence structure though, and Daniel wondered if perhaps parts of it had been re-written in code. Somewhere there had to be a key, but without searching in more detail he didn't know where to start. It was the sheer quantity of information that held the problem, and as fast as he was moving across the crumbling plaster and stone pillars with the camera, there was no way he could finish before Jack's stupid 12 o'clock deadline.

He had been up since first light, and had almost seven hours of footage already thanks to the fact that it was almost midsummer on the planet. Last night, after he had spent nearly and hour apologising for Jack's unceremonious exit from the party, Daniel had persuaded the priest to reveal a little more. It had helped that the root tea seemed to act as a mood relaxant, after plying the man with several cups Daniel was able to ascertain that the "great ones" had rapidly left the planet after only several months of occupation, in the spring time. Daniel suspected that the Goa'uld were intolerant of something in the natural flora or fauna, and the priest had assured him that the details of the "holy time when the great ones blessed our planet by walking among us" were recorded in the temples.

Daniel checked his wristwatch, 11:56. Jack was going to be here any minute and unless he could persuade him for a little more time they was going to lose a potentially valuable weapon against the Goa'uld. Jack hadn't been exactly keen to listen to Daniel's thoughts on the last few missions, preferring to shout him down or simply freeze him out until he just stopped talking. And Daniel, still racked with guilt and embarrassment, had let him. But this was important, and Jack simply had to let him stay and check out the last six buildings.

The alarm on Daniel's watch beeped as it hit twelve and as if on cue Jack strolled into the back room off the main chamber where Daniel was frantically trying to finish up. Sam was still down in the village, and Teal'c was in the next building west along the cliff face, videotaping the walls there. Daniel tried to keep his eyes on the camera display screen but he couldn't help himself. Jack looked fairly relaxed, but it was obvious he hadn't shaved that morning.

"Pack it up Daniel. We're out of here." He announced and folded his arms looking expectantly down at Daniel who was crouched by the cold wall carved from the rock face at far end of the long room.

It's now or never, thought Daniel. He cleared his throat

"Jack..." He began, staying close to the ground so he wouldn't come across as confrontational in any way; there was no sense in giving Jack any ammunition. "I think I know why the Goa'uld left this planet after such a short space of time. There seems to be some sort of plant life here that has particularly potent pollen..."

"I'll start again shall I?!" Jack sounded pissed anyway, despite Daniel's attempt to keep things objective. "Time. To. GO!"

Daniel gave it a beat before he spoke again. "Jack I really think this is important. The information on these walls could give us something to use against them. It could be an allergy, or a natural poison, either way don't you think it's worth..."

"What did I say last night?" Jack asked through gritted teeth.

Daniel knew exactly what he was getting at, but the look in Jack's eyes was fierce. He momentarily regretted staying down low in such vulnerable position. "You said I had until twelve, but you also said if it was worth it..."

"Well done! The man listens to what I say after all. Now tell me what time is it now?"

Daniel couldn't help it. He stood to face off with Jack, letting the camera in his hand fall limply to his side. "It's twelve Jack, you know that. Or you wouldn't be in here yelling at me!"

"I am NOT yelling at you! I am gently persuading you to pack the fuck up and get your ass down to the valley before I have to drag you down."

"You asked me if it was turning the tide of the war type stuff. Well I think it could be just that. I don't know yet. I won't know until I've read all this." He waved a hand out towards the wall on his left "And if I miss the last six temples... well it's like a jigsaw, and without the missing pieces..."

"No." Jack stubbornly cut him off.

"No?" Daniel asked, not understanding what possible reason Jack could have to deny the request he hadn't even made yet. Jack simply raised his eyebrows in response. "I only need a couple more hours." Daniel went on softly, trying desperately not to show the effect having Jack so close was having on him. "Half that probably now Teal'c is helping."

"I already sent Teal'c down to the village to fetch Carter." Jack said slowly, and Daniel felt a small chill that the two of them were alone at the top of what was a very high cliff. It was effectively a long way to fall.

"But the General isn't expecting us for anther five hours." Daniel reasoned.

Jack seemed to mull it over for a second and Daniel felt a brief hope that he might listen. It was a hope he lost when Jack said "Is there some sort of sick thrill you get out of challenging my command?"

"Challenging your...?"

"I've made a command decision here Daniel. We're leaving."

"And you expect me to just accept that? Even though it's completely unnecessary to leave right now? Even though one more hour won't make a blind bit of difference to you?"

"Yes, I expect you to just accept that." Jack said blankly.

Daniel was speechless. He knew Jack was still angry with him for trying it on with him, but this was something else. This was his job. He was here professionally and he still needed Jack to take his opinion on board when it was really important. Like now. A rogue thought occurred to him and it was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

"It's because I asked isn't it?" Jack still showed no emotion as he stood bare inches in front of him. "This is because it's important to ME. I bet if Sam asked you for more time you'd bend over backwards..."

The impact with the wall registered before the realisation that Jack had just backhanded him across the face. Pain jarred his shoulder and jaw, and Daniel found himself flat out thanks to Jack again. He raised his had slowly to his face and let out a soft groan. The world was spinning. Why was this happening? The first time Jack had let rip with good reason, but this time was just so pointless.

Daniel sat very still. He didn't want to provoke Jack into anything else. Why the hell had he ever thought he could continue working with this man after what had happened between them?

Carefully, Daniel climbed back to his feet before daring to look up at the cold fury he was sure Jack was sending his way. He could see Jacks fists clenching and unclenching and his body was poised, ready to launch at Daniel for any reason he might give him. But despite Jack's livid posture, his face was at odds with what Daniel had been expecting. As Daniel stood again facing Jack, granted a little further back than before, he could see the misery in the face looking back at him.

Jack looked lost, like he didn't know what to do, like he was waiting for something from the man stood silently opposite him. Daniel folded his arms gently across his midriff, keeping his movements slow and unthreatening.

If he's just waiting for an excuse to pound on me he can go fuck himself, he thought. He was so angry he could feel the blood popping through his ears.

Jack opened his mouth to speak and took a tentative step forward. Daniel flinched and his eyes widened involuntarily. Jack stopped where he was and continued to stare at Daniel's apprehensive posture. Daniel took in Jack's pale cheeks, and anxiously hunched brow. He looked absolutely devastated. Maybe even a little ashamed.

Maybe he'll apologise, Daniel hoped desperately, maybe...

"Get your stuff." Jack whispered; his eyes bunched shut, dropping his gaze to his feet before turning around and leaving Daniel alone in the chamber with just his notes and pieces of video camera smashed all over the floor.

~~~

The Egyptian dance screensaver popped up on Daniel's office computer, breaking him out of his trance. His coffee was cold too. That long since I typed anything huh? he thought. The report on Masouk was going nowhere. So far he'd had to retype it three times to make it less anti-Jack, and he was trying to think of a way to word why, despite the fact that the planet could represent a hugely important discovery, they'd decided to come home four and a half hours early!

Probably not very tactful to write 'I put it to my team leader that it would be prudent to investigate the information on the temple walls as thoroughly as our pre-arranged mission time allowed. However he chose instead to make the command decision to smack me across the face. Again.' That had been the first draft, one which he'd had no intention of handing in to the General but had helped him work through some of his anger nonetheless.

This was so screwed up, and it was completely unworkable. If he couldn't trust Jack to listen to him in the field then he couldn't continue to work with the man. He was still fuming, despite himself, and not entirely at Jack. Daniel was unbelievably pissed with himself that although Jack was making it clear that he wasn't the least bit interested in him and in fact pretty much hated him, he still wanted him badly. Even after Jack had decked him on Masouk Daniel would still have gladly reached out and stroked his hands down his strong arms, touched his face, kissed him, held him... fucked him.

"Never gonna happen." Daniel sighed out loud to himself then began to type again. He quickly lost himself in reporting what he had already been able to decipher from the writings, and about the coding that had been used.

"What's that?" a quiet voice behind him enquired.

Daniel tensed. He hadn't even heard him come in. Just how long had he been standing behind him while Daniel stared into space? I hope he didn't see some of the crap I deleted, he thought.

"Something you wanted Colonel?" Daniel asked, deliberately not responding to his question, or turning away from the screen.

Daniel heard Jack shift his footing uneasily but stood, or rather sat his ground. "I er..." Jack stumbled over the words. It seemed so unlike him to have this awkwardness about him. "I handed in my report."

Daniel didn't move or speak. If Jack had something to say he could damn well come out with it. Out of the corner of his eye, Daniel watched Jack's reflection in the glass of a photo frame on his desk. The frame held a picture of the team at Jack's summer barbecue two years before. It had been a great day, and Daniel almost smiled until he remembered that he would probably never be invited to Jack's place again.

"I suggested that maybe SG-6 could take another look at the planet. At the temple stuff I mean." In the reflection Daniel could see Jack as he reached out a hand to his shoulder, but paused as his fingertips drew close. "Just thought you would want to know that." He whispered, and Daniel felt the weight of emotion behind Jack's words in everything he didn't say.

Daniel closed his eyes and willed the hand hovering next to his skin to touch down. He could almost feel the heat from it through his cotton shirt. When he opened his eyes again a few seconds later Jack had pulled it back and was standing a bit further away, hands shoved deeply into his pockets. Daniel felt irrational anger flood through him.

"That's it?!" He half shouted, feeling confident that even if he was Jack's new off world punching bag he wouldn't dream of touching him on base.

"I'm trying here." Jack responded softly, barely raising his chin from where it rested against his chest.

"Trying what exactly?" Daniel asked, swinging around on his stool and glaring up at Jack. "Trying to apologise for being a shit, or trying to dissuade me from putting in my report exactly how I got this?!" He waved his hand sharply at the bruise that purpled half his jaw and cheek.

"Trying to apologise." Jack insisted, acutely aware that the door was wide open for all to hear as he snatched a look in that direction.

He winced at the bruise he'd given Daniel. Frasier had given Jack the evil eye the second she'd seen it, but in the debrief after hearing Daniel's laughable "I tripped over a paving slab like the big fat klutz I am" speech the General had cracked a joke about Daniel being the only person he knew who could not only find a needle in a haystack, but would do so by pricking his finger on it. Daniel had clenched his teeth at the comment, and pointedly not looked at Jack.

Daniel huffed. "SG-6..." he began "You should be suggesting a second visit anyway Jack, not as a way to say sorry."

"That's not why I did it Daniel... I... shit."

"Really? Then in what way have you actually tried to apologise?" Daniel asked. He couldn't see it. He really couldn't

"I'm... you don't... oh just forget it okay?" Jack went on after studying Daniel unforgiving expression for a moment "You're obviously not in the mood to listen to reason."

"Reason, right! And were YOU in any mood to... to listen to reason on 112?"

"Look, maybe I made the wrong decision in coming back early. But the point is that it was my decision to make. You need to accept it when I say no!"

Daniel was a little taken aback at the truth and hurt in Jack's words. He'd tried so hard not to push, but they both knew what he'd been doing when he grasped Jack's shoulder at the evening meal and breathed those words heavily in his ear. That was Pushing with a capital P, and again Daniel felt like a heel. "I didn't mean to... I haven't meant to make you feel uncomfortable..."

"Just having you near me makes me uncomfortable." Jack said honestly, and the sting of it lanced through Daniel's chest causing him to inhale sharply and look away. Jack caught the motion and cringed, but Daniel didn't see it. "We're not going to talk about It." Jack warned softly, raising a cautionary hand between them as Daniel opened his mouth to speak.

Daniel hadn't heard him. "I really tried not to make it hard on you." Whoops, "Oh God! I meant..."

"I know what you meant." Jack said in a low, embarrassed voice. It was clear he wanted this conversation over, and fast. "I went too far." He said at last with an air of finality that told Daniel this was all the apology he was actually going to get.

Daniel was suddenly incensed again. That was it? That was IT?! "You shouldn't have hit me!" he snarled.

"And you shouldn't have brought Carter into it!" Jack yelled, thumping his fist down so hard on Daniel's desk the coffee mug rattled.

Daniel was silenced immediately by the sudden outburst, and he was confused. When had he brought Carter into it? And then he remembered. 'I bet if Sam asked you for more time you'd bend over backwards...' So that was why Jack went for him again on the planet. Because he'd dared to suggest Jack would have behaved differently around Sam. Well he would have, they both knew it. Sam wouldn't have put up with any of O'Neill's shit either, and she would have smacked him right back. Maybe Jack would have respected him a bit more now if that's what he'd done.

But why was Jack so disgusted that Daniel had talked about Sam? His feelings for her are obviously stronger than I thought, he mused miserably, Jesus he probably fucking loves her. The concept was more crushing than thinking that Jack hated him, to suddenly realise what had been right in front of his nose all this time; that Jack was in love with someone and it wasn't him.

"Oh" he managed.

"Yeah. Oh." Jack spat, folding his arms across his chest in a gesture he had unknowingly picked up from the man opposite him. Somehow Jack still managed to look superior even when resorting to such a vulnerable pose.

Daniel didn't speak. He couldn't. He wanted to curl up into a little ball and disappear. God, this is worse than when he beat me up, he thought don't know how to deal with this. Jack seemed to notice the change in his body language and took it as an avenue to escape.

"I've got stuff to do. Hammond wants this in two hours." He said gesturing towards the forgotten report on the computer, all his earlier menace gone. He waited for Daniel to reply but when he didn't move Jack awkwardly raced off towards the door and disappeared.

Turning slowly back towards the desk, Daniel felt about a hundred years old. He hadn't expected this feeling of utter desolation at the thought of Jack with someone else. He knew now that his feelings were more than just sexually driven, even though that's what he'd concentrated on. He had thought it was just an attraction, an infatuation which could lead to some fun between friends. He knew now that could never be the case. Jack didn't want him. Jack wanted Sam. He knew damn well Sam wanted Jack too and there was no way he could stand around watching the two of them making eyes at each other, it was just too much. He wasn't strong enough to cope if the two of them started something. If they weren't fucking already of course, which was a distinct possibility that made Daniel feel like he was going to throw up.

Battling the queasiness in his stomach, Daniel reread the last line in his report. 'As a result, I strongly recommend a follow up mission to P4X-112 by one of the research teams, preferably SG-6 or SG-14.' Too tired to edit it any further he hit save and opened up a new document for his request to transfer to SG-6.

~~~

The key was sticking in the lock again. Daniel had to jimmy it around with both hands while trying to juggle the paper grocery sacks in his arms. A vine tomato broke free from the top of one bag and rolled off across the hallway just as he managed to get the door to swing open with a loud clunk.

Daniel bent down and rescued the fruit, then pushed his way into his apartment before the door could swing shut again. Three times he'd ended up locked out like that, and he really didn't want to have to leave all this food out while he fetched the superintendent for the second time in a month. He kicked the door closed behind him with a satisfying thud and dropped the sacks onto the phone table so he could bolt the door.

See Jack, I can do what you tell me to, he thought then cursed himself for it. He was determined not to think about him, at least not tonight. With any luck the General would find his transfer request on his desk in the morning and call him into his office straightaway. If he approved the move, Daniel might not have to see Jack at all.

Or Sam, for a while at least.

The thought of not going offworld alongside Sam and Teal'c any more made him feel a bit wobbly inside so he pushed it away. Can't do this tonight, he thought, tonight I'm just going to hide out from the world. Think about it tomorrow. Daniel had no intention of answering the phone or the door, not that he expected any visitors. He hadn't had one of those in a while. Instead he was going to lay low and eat lots and lots of sugary crap. Like the double chocolate chip cookies he could practically hear calling to him from one of the grocery bags.

He'd gone shopping straight from the mountain after dropping off his letter in Hammond's office. Not to the usual place either; he'd splashed out instead at the expensive indoor market across town. The patisserie with the great cookies was next door, and Daniel had spent a good fifteen minutes making his selection. Plucking up the food, Daniel traipsed along the short entrance way to the living room but before he could make it though to the kitchen he stopped dead. He wasn't expecting this.

"You could have let me in." He said as calmly as he could manage to Jack, who was sitting with his legs crossed in the armchair by the fireplace "Couldn't get the fucking door open."

Daniel refused to let Jack know he was shocked to find him brazenly enjoying his furniture and he wasn't going to give the man the satisfaction of asking how he got in. He knew that; the base had spare keys to everyone's houses and Jack as 2IC of the whole thing could access them without being questioned. Even so, he hoped Jack couldn't tell how fast his heart was beating from the other side of the room.

Jack didn't say anything. Daniel couldn't help thinking he looked good, very good. The black polo shirt and jeans hugged his ribs and hips nicely, even in a sitting position. He was twisted slightly to one side and he had his head cocked at an awkward angle as he silently regarded Daniel, leather jacket folded neatly over the arm of the chair. The look about him was intense and Daniel got the impression he was right to feel a little intimidated.

Daniel bit his lower lip nervously as he realised raking his eyes over Jack was possibly not the smartest move right now. He dragged his gaze back up to meet Jack's piercing stare and suddenly noticed his hair. Shower damp silver strands sticking up at the front where Jack always pushed his hand up through it after wiping the water from his forehead to keep it out of his eyes. Daniel knew that move, he'd watched it out of the corner of his eye each and every time he wasn't staring at Jack in the showers.

A sudden feeling of outrage momentarily outweighed the shock when he realised what Jack's damp hair actually meant.

"Did you use my fucking shower?!" Daniel asked; indignation colouring his tone as his hands found their way to his hips all by themselves.

Jack still didn't say anything. His expression was unreadable, but definitely dark. Slowly he reached into the back pocket of his Levi's and pulled out a white envelope. He leaned forward and laid it on the coffee table carefully, without breaking eye contact.

Daniel couldn't help it. His eyes grew wide as he recognised his own scrawled handwriting across the front. 'FAO Gen. Hammond'

Shit shit shit shit shit, he thought, this isn't happening. He flicked his eyes back up to Jack who had resettled in his seat a little more stiffly. "I... er... don't really know what to say." He ground out a tense humourless laugh which caused Jack to clench his jaw.

"I very much doubt you are short of words Dr. Jackson." Jack sounded far too calm, and that set off warning bells in Daniel's head.

"Um... what do you want me to say?" Which seemed to be completely the wrong thing to say: since in the next moment Jack was up and out of the chair rapidly pacing the room. He folded his arms tightly in by his chest. He looked practically feral. Daniel remembered watching a news report years before about abused animals in some Chinese zoo, and how one of the big cats had broken loose and mauled a reporter. Right now, with the fierce glare and slow sinuous movement across the floor Jack was like a white tiger in a marching up and down the bars of his cage.

"I want you to explain THAT to me!" Jack yelled, flinging his right hand out towards the letter on the table. It was open, Daniel could see that much.

Why was he even explaining this to Jack anyway? He owed him nothing. Maybe before Masouk he had owed him something. He still felt guilty about the whole jumping him in the woods thing but Jack had hit him, hit him and then really not been all that sorry. And now Jack was in his home acting like he couldn't understand it at all.

"I just thought it would be easier. For everybody." And he really had thought it would be easier all round. For himself for Jack and for Sam.

"In what way is your running off to SG-6... easier?" Jack demanded.

Daniel at least had the good sense to look sheepish, even if he couldn't keep the annoyance out of his words. "Well you obviously didn't want me on SG-1 anymore. I was making you uncomfortable." He regretted the last word the second it was out of his mouth. He didn't mean to rub Jack's nose in it, really he didn't, but it was too late.

"Damn straight you make me feel uncomfortable." Jack hollered. "I can practically feel your eyes on my ass every time we're in the gear-up room. It's fucking disgusting." He pulled a face and flexed his fingers. "And don't think I haven't noticed you walking behind me off world too!"

"Because it's your job to take point Jack! I go where you put me!" Daniel retorted quickly, before deliberately reining in his volume.

He wasn't going to get into a fight over this, not tonight. But still he couldn't help but be pissed off by what Jack was implying. If anything he'd been keeping his head down and his eyes to himself since the incident. But he wasn't going to deny that he might have sneaked a look, once or twice. He didn't really need to check Jack out anyway, he had him pretty much memorised.

"I'm really not trying to make this difficult." Daniel said quietly "But it isn't working. I think its best for me to get out of your hair."

"So just stop being such an asshole then." Jack insisted then went on earnestly "You don't have to leave the God-damned team over this."

Daniel was so furious he missed both Jack's entreaty, and the desolate expression he couldn't hide as he took a couple of halting steps towards him. "Me stop being an asshole? What exactly have I done wrong lately Jack? Apart from breathing?"

"See, there you go being an asshole."

"What! Oh fuck you!" Daniel yelled and marched into the kitchen to dump the groceries on the worktop.

"Not a fucking chance buddy." Jack called out after him.

"And don't I know it." Daniel said in a small voice as he began to unpack with trembling hands. Jack was at the doorway to the kitchen in seconds.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he growled.

"Oh nothing. Just when you say no you really say no." Daniel punctuated his words by slamming down a couple of glass sauce jars on the counter. He was beyond pissed and nervous as hell. It was a combination which left him with the sensation of being very exposed and he distracted himself by rapidly tossing the olives, mangoes, lettuce and tomatoes into the vegetable tray of the fridge.

Jack shoved the refrigerator door closed in front of Daniels face. "You deserved it." He hissed.

Crowded against the kitchen cupboards, Daniel felt hemmed in so he quickly removed himself from the vulnerable position. He pushed past Jack by nudging his shoulder squarely with his own and felt an enormous twinge of satisfaction when he momentarily caught the man off balance.

When he was back safely in the more open space of the living room, and with a much dignity as he could muster he calmly replied "Yes I probably did. I made a huge mistake and put my heart on the line and learnt a very valuable and painful lesson."

Jack had followed closely despite Daniel's attempt to put some distance between them. He managed to effectively corner Daniel again between the fireplace and the coffee table. Jack was close up in Daniels face as he spat "I'm glad to see we finally agree on something. You just seem to go hand in hand with huge mistakes don't you Daniel?"

"I think you might be right. It was a mistake thinking I'd still be able to work with you after you knocked me six ways from Sunday."

"You. Deserved. It." Jacks hands which were normally so mobile were very, very still. He was staring right into Daniels eyes, and even though he felt the threatening tone ring through him Daniel couldn't help rising to the bait.

"Yeah, you said. Did I deserve it today as well?" Daniel demanded, trying to look curious and sarcastic at the same time.

Jack ignored him. He bent down to the coffee table and snatched up the letter. Placidly he pulled the letter from the envelope and tore it in half, then again and again until his hands were filled with tiny pieces of paper. Pieces of paper which he then tossed into the air around them where they fell like confetti.

"You're not leaving SG-1." He announced confidently before the fragments had even had a chance to settle. He folded his arms with the air of a man who had just had the last word.

"Now see that I don't understand." Daniel flapped his hands around in front of him. "You tell me I make you uncomfortable. You don't want to listen to me in the field. You add to my bruise collection when I try to do my job. You clearly can't stand it that I find you attractive, and yet you don't want me to go?"

"That's what I said. You're not leaving and this..." Jack gestured at the thing between the two of them with his right hand while keeping his left tucked neatly under his right elbow "is never going to happen. Get over it."

"Oh I'd love to." Daniel assured him, edging closer but not noticing that he was doing it. "And trust me I know I won't be riding off into the sunset with you anytime soon. I believe someone's already called shotgun on that one."

"Don't start that again." Jack rolled his eyes and managed to look thoroughly bored with the subject as though they'd talked it over a thousand times.

"I can't help it. It hurts." Daniel was startled by the honesty in his own words and he had to look away to compose himself. He'd been through this. He'd agonised over the decision to leave and it had been one of the hardest choices of his adult life. Right now it felt like he was handing Jack his heart on a plate, and getting it stamped on yet again. "I'm just in the way. If I transfer to another team..."

"See that's not what I need at all!" Jack yelled, cutting Daniel off before he could reason it out. "Every time I look at you all I can think about is when you... kissed me. It felt so good to punch you out, you have no idea. You make me feel... ugghh!" He threw his hands up and then gripped his forehead like he was fighting a raging headache.

"Which is why I can't work with you." Daniel explained softly. He made Jack feel sick, that was obvious from the way Jack grimaced and scrunched his eyes shut. "I'm not going to suddenly stop caring for you, maybe you can switch stuff like that off but I can't. But I can deal, if I have some space. I'm a big boy now Jack, but that doesn't mean I can take you and your girlfriend... fawning all over each other."

Jack was alert and gawping at him in an instant. "My Girlfriend? My GIRLFREIND?!" He screamed as his jaw nearly hit the floor.

"Oh don't act so surprised." It was Daniels turn to flash him a look of disgust. "You practically spelled it out earlier. Cryptic you are not, Jack O'Neill."

Jack seemed to flounder for a moment and his mouth struggled to let out any sound. "I am not with Carter! How could you even think that?" He finally gasped.

"You don't have to deny it. If the two of you have managed to find something then that's... " Daniel broke off unable to finish the sentiment of support, trailing off instead with "I'm happy for her." When Jack still didn't say anything he whispered finally "I care about her a lot and if you do too then... she deserves to be happy."

Still standing there looking stunned Jack managed "It's not..." before he was cut off.

"I'm not going to rat you out for fraternizing with your subordinates." Daniel assured him quickly before he had to listen to any of the details. He meant what he'd said, he was pleased for Sam but hearing it from Jack's lips right now would be too crushing. Flustered by the thought of hearing Jack make some sort of horrifyingly painful declaration he blurted "Or should I say subordinate 'cos you sure as hell aren't doing anything with me!" not nearly as coolly as he began.

"Jesus Daniel! You know how I feel about that." Jack frowned, and shifted his weight around on his feet.

"You hate me, I get it." Daniel breathed, broken and miserable. He looked down at the floor afraid to watch the abhorrence on Jacks face.

Jack's narrowed eyes bore into the top of his head anyway as he spat "I don't hate you, I despise you."

Daniels head shot up and he mirrored the hateful look Jack was sending him. He'd had enough of this. "Why don't you fuck off home then Jack? Or better still; go let off some of this steam with her! Let me get back to my nice relaxing evening so I can eat something, take a bath and maybe later I can jerk off thinking about you..."

Daniel had the overriding impression that he must have hit a nerve as he suddenly found himself knocked back into the fireplace then down onto the hearth. Jack used his bulk to add momentum as he launched himself at the man opposite then dragged him down onto the flagstones with what must have been a painful thump. Daniel was winded, and found himself lost for words. Jack straddled Daniels hips and pinned him on his back, with one of his arms caught underneath him.

Daniel scanned his mind to think off any kind of counter move that could help him right now but everything that came to mind he'd been taught by Jack. It's useless he thought he'll see what I'm planning in my face before I move a muscle.

Jack had his fingers tightly wound in Daniel's shirt collar. Fearing that he was about to get the back of his skull repeatedly acquainted with the floor, Daniel bucked his hips to throw Jack off to the side. It worked, which meant Jack had to be really, really mad because that move had never once come off in combat training when Jack was focused.

Daniel was fast. He scrambled away to his feet and made for the front door. Jack was faster. He caught hold of Daniels ankle before he'd gone two steps and tugged sharply to bring him back down.

Daniel landed again and felt the shock as his chin smacked into the rug. "Where the fuck are you going?!" Jack demanded, and Daniel felt him clamber up his back and take hold of his arms to secure him in place.

Daniel still couldn't find his voice. He opened his mouth to speak but faltered. This was awful. They were fighting again and all he could think was how hot it was to have Jack pressed tightly against him, to feel Jacks rapid heartbeat thudding straight into his own body. Maybe Jack's right he thought pitifully, maybe I am a pervert.

The weight against his spine lifted but the hold on his wrists remained as he struggled, and was soon joined by a hard and aching pressure on the side of his throat. Daniel gasped when he realised that it was Jack's boot.

"You're standing on my neck!" he squealed.

Jack released his arms, stood up slowly and leaned forward, effectively doubling the pressure on his windpipe. Daniel tried desperately to mount another protest but could only manage a faint gargling noise. He pushed experimentally against the floor with his newly freed hands but this only made the pressure worse. He couldn't move his legs either without shifting the precarious balance of the man above him. It was agony, and there was nothing he could do.

Daniel felt the pressure change but not lessen as Jack crouched down over him to lean in towards his face. Jack perched silently watching with impassive eyes the stricken man beneath him as he gurgled his way into semi-consciousness. Daniel could see black spots dancing at the back of his eyes, and he fought the panic that swamped him from the very real fear that Jack might choke him to death.

After what must have been a full minute Jack spoke. "I'm not with Carter" he asserted, and Daniel wondered at his ability to sound so detached. He'd been expecting an 'I'm gonna kill you' or at least a 'You dirty little fag' not this cold and distant denial of a relationship with Sam.

"...'kay" he ground out as he fought impending blackness. The weight on his neck shifted again and Daniel was able to drag in a few grateful gulps of air. Jack's face disappeared from sight for a few seconds and Daniel heard a faint rustling sound.

Out of the corner of the eye which wasn't mashed into the carpet Daniel could just make out Jack's profile as he returned and leaned in closer to his ear. "I'm not angry with you Daniel" he shakily assured the man whose neck he was currently crushing. "You probably think I am but I'm not. I'd never jeopardize the team like that. Not for a quick fuck. You of all people..."

Jack trailed off and looked away to the wall. Daniel lay as still as he could to limit the pain flaring down his back. The closest thing in his memory he could compare it to was the sharp burn that came with being stabbed; but that was over in seconds whereas this... Jack just didn't seem to want to stop this.

Jack took a few moments to gather himself then ploughed on very quietly "You're not leaving the team. I want to hear you say it."

"...nuh leavuh." Daniel agreed as best he could then recoiled from the effects of accidentally nodding as he answered.

Jack seemed to stiffen at the sight, but still he didn't back off. Daniel was struck with the impression that this was a side of his friend he'd never seen before, not even in the field when he'd seen Jack fight. When he'd seen him kill. This was Special Ops Jack, and that was someone Daniel didn't know at all.

Hoping he could somehow break through to the rational man underneath before it was too late Daniel choked out "J'ck ples... g'off me." His mind was firing a mile a minute as he tried in vain to work out how to snap his friend out of his nightmarish rage.

Jack ignored his pleading and continued miserably "You're not transferring to SG-6. You belong with SG-1 and I don't want any more... bullshit from you do you hear me?"

Daniel was slowly sliding away from the conversation. The floor beneath him had acquired a new tilt and was rolling like the deck of a ship. Jack jiggled his foot slightly to jolt him back into awareness and he screamed.

"Do you hear me?!" Jack demanded, instantly switching from sounding desperately sad and disappointed to enraged. Daniel grunted in response and watched fascinated as a cluster of spots merged together to form a dark cloud in the centre of his field of vision. "No fucking transfer! This..." he held his hand up in front of Daniel's face to reveal the torn pieces of his transfer request "never happened. And it doesn't happen again, period. Open up."

Daniel frowned. He didn't know what Jack wanted him to do and thinking was becoming very difficult, to be ranked alongside breathing. "Eat it!" Jack yelled and with his fingers pried Daniel's lips apart to slide the scraps of paper inside.

"Open up baby." He whispered very quietly, and Daniel was pretty sure he wasn't meant to hear that. "Eat it. Now." Jack commanded again in a more audible tone, and Daniel struggled to comply.

The paper felt dry and abrasive in his mouth, and chewing sparked fresh agony in his jaw. He strained to swallow the coarse lump past the pressure on his throat, finally managing it seconds before he succumbed to the darkness that corkscrewed into his brain as he drifted down through the floor and the world faded out.

~~~

There was something soft and warm against his cheek. The throbbing in Daniel's head was distressingly familiar, and he couldn't help the groan that escaped when he opened his eyes. It was still light, so he couldn't have been out for long. A few minutes, he suspected, since the shadows cast by the light from the tall window hadn't moved far across the floor.

His throat felt red raw. For a minute he couldn't remember what had happened. And then the memory hit him; the argument, the fight... Jack's damn boot against his neck. He felt tears brimming and fought them back hard. He was still disorientated and confused, and wondered for moment if it could really have gone down the way he thought it did, if Jack could really have done that to him. Daniel's stomach felt like it was making tiny leaps forward and back, and he knew he was close to throwing up. He prayed he wouldn't as he doubted his abused throat could take the acid.

Daniel startled as he felt something brush his hair back from his forehead. Glancing up he realised he was still flat out on the living room floor. He also realised his head was resting in Jack's lap, and that Jack was leaning back against the sofa silently watching him.

"About ten minutes." Jack answered the unasked question in Daniel's eyes quietly and carefully, and stroked his hair back again. "In case you were wondering."

Daniel tried to read the situation without having to look Jack in the face. He felt completely defenceless and knew one glance would give away precisely how destroyed he felt. Ten minutes. Ten minutes since Jack had stood on his neck until he passed out. Ten minutes he'd been unconscious on the floor in his own home, with Jack probably stroking his hair like he was doing now. It was surreal. Under other circumstances Daniel would have given anything to feel Jack touching him this tenderly, but this was horrible. He felt absolutely humiliated, horribly exposed. He ached all over and dreaded having to speak. And he really, really wanted to be able to speak; to be able to ask Jack very politely to get the hell away from him.

"Let me help you up." Jack offered as he gently pulled at Daniel's shoulder to bring him into a sitting position in front of him. Daniel kept his eyes from Jack's gaze, but Jack was having none of it. "Hey? You with me?" He coaxed, trying to gauge if Daniel was fully compos mentis. He'd been out a long time and Jack had been... concerned. Twice while Daniel was unconscious he'd pulled out his cell to call 911, but both times he'd flipped it shut and waited it out s he chewed his lip.

Daniel didn't answer him; he had no idea what the right thing to say was under these circumstances. He kept very quiet and still, and picked at the carpet with his fingers, mouth set in a thin line. He felt like his head was full of fluid, and it was trying to burst out of his ears. Daniel Nicholas Jackson, July 8 1965 he verified mentally, checking just how fuzzy his thinking was at the moment, mindful of the fact he could potentially have suffered permanent damage from the lack of oxygen, and completely an utterly stunned.

"Daniel?" Jack asked, the ghost of a cautious smile disappearing from his lips.

Jack latched on to his chin to raise his head, desperately trying to force Daniel to look at him. The action jolted his neck sharply and Daniel almost blacked out again from the pain of it. "Argh!" he screeched and grabbed hold of Jack's wrist to prevent any more manhandling. His other hand found its way to his jaw line to examine the damage there, but even the lightest of touches made him wince.

"Shit! Daniel I... God." Daniel was surprised to see that Jack looked genuinely remorseful. It was clear he still wasn't sure if Daniel was going to be okay and to his credit he looked pretty cut up about it. He ashamedly went on "I... it's going to hurt pretty bad for a few days."

Daniel tried to give Jack a sharp glare, but he was too exhausted to pull it off. Right now all he wanted was to climb into bed and forget this day ever happened. Forget Jack ever happened. Noticing he still had hold of Jack by the wrist he let it drop, but Jack's hand landed on his thigh and stayed there.

Daniel was confused. Jack hated him. Hated the idea of being with him so much he practically just tried to kill him, and yet here he was resting his palm against Daniel's thigh, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth.

Jack followed Daniel's line of sight down to where he was softly stroking his leg. He stilled his hand and Daniel immediately met his intense gaze. Daniel studied his grim features. Jack looked broken and old. The lines on his forehead and in the corners of his eyes made him look tired and sad. Daniel was reminded of the look Jack had after he'd smacked him in the face on Masouk. He was clearly searching Daniel's eyes for something, begging him to understand.

"I'm not dealing with this very well." Jack confessed looking absurdly self-conscious, and Daniel couldn't quash the involuntary rush of affection he felt for Jack at hearing him sound so embarrassed. It made Daniel angry at himself that Jack still had the power to melt him, despite everything he'd done.

Taking pity on the shattered man he cracked the tiniest of faltering smiles and croaked "No really?" his voice scratchy and rough "I hadn't noticed."

Jack visibly sagged with relief at hearing Daniel's attempt at their comfortable and familiar sarcasm. It seemed to be what he was waiting to hear as he crushed Daniel to his chest in a tight embrace and held him there, burying his head into Daniel's good shoulder.

Daniel sank into his arms and inhaled his scent deeply, grateful at the excuse not to hold up his own weight any more. Jack smelled strongly of aftershave and sweat, the latter probably from the effort of wrestling him to the ground and keeping him there. He tensed momentarily at the thought and Jack pulled back slightly to look him squarely in the face.

Daniel was instantly wary, thinking he'd done the wrong thing, sent the wrong message somehow. He hadn't meant to end the closeness, Jack felt amazing and it was almost worth everything that had happened to be there in his arms, feeling his hands moving timidly against his skin.

"Don't stop." Daniel whispered, and for a second his breath caught in his throat as he recognised something in the way Jack looked at him.

Jack was quick about it. He pulled Daniel forwards at the same time as he leaned in to cover his lips with his own, pressing their mouths together fiercely. Daniel's head was swimming. The sensations that ripped through him were at odds, long awaited ecstasy from the kiss shot straight down his arms and legs mixed with the agony from twisting his head around to meet Jack's lips. But it was worth it, he'd imagined this for months and now he was finally here wrapped up in Jack's obvious need he refused to let a little thing like a neck injury ruin the moment.

The adrenaline of the fight, the terror of falling unconscious while Jack hurt him, the nervous tension of waking on the floor in Jack's lap and everything else melted away as Daniel remembered why he'd been willing to put up with Jack's shit in the first place. Why he'd been willing to risk losing Jack's friendship, his respect, his place on the flagship team. This is why.

Daniel was rapidly losing control; he heard tiny mewing noises and suspected that it was him, but he couldn't care less. Jack had hold of his face with both hands now as he tenderly worked his tongue into Daniel's willing mouth. Daniel rested his hands on Jack's flanks and slid them down slowly towards his hips, a movement which caused Jack to growl softly and smile around Daniel's tongue. The sound reverberated down Daniel's spine and flooded his groin with an intense pulsing heat.

It was sheer heaven, and Daniel felt giddy and excited. He was rock hard and pushed forward with his hips a little to feel his jeans scrape the tip of his cock. It was all getting to be too much, and his hands wound their way up and down Jacks chest before starting to slip lower, grazing his abdomen in wide circles.

Jack practically purred and wrapped his arms gently around the back of Daniel's head, drinking him in as close as possible. Daniel returned the intimacy with zest and traced his fingers along Jacks' crotch, caressing the hard flesh beneath the material.

The speed with which Jack shoved him backwards was phenomenal. It took Daniel a couple of seconds to realise he'd pushed too far, but by then it was too late as Jack stood quickly and backed away, arms outstretched as if to defend himself.

"I er... I should..." Jack stammered; a look of sheer panic on his face that would have been heartbreaking if he wasn't still sporting the mammoth hard-on Daniel had given him. "I should go." He said finally, scrubbing a hand through his hair before tearing out of the apartment at a rate of knots.

Daniel didn't get up. Letting out a hiss of disappointment he slumped back against the edge of the coffee table. He couldn't get a handle on what had just happened; it was too much to take in. He'd been so happy only a minute or two before, and now he had no idea where he stood. This whole thing was a nightmare, and he was just too tired to think anymore.

Cautiously he rose to his feet, jarring his neck twice along the way which suddenly seemed a lot more painful than it had been when he and Jack were kissing. He shuffled towards the bedroom slowly, using the wall to support him as he went. He would think this through tomorrow, when it was all less... raw. Right now he needed the sweet oblivion of sleep.

Next: Too Far, Too Fast