Be Careful What You Wish For

by Merlin7

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asm/merlin7/careful.php
Summary: Not supplied

Rodney was squeaking. It wasn't his fault. It was Major John Sheppard's fault. He of the talented hands that were stroking Rodney to a mind numbing orgasm. And then it hit him, like a tidal wave, rocking him back against the wall and he didn't even feel the pain of his head connecting with the hardness. All he felt was pure pleasure and Rodney closed his eyes as he felt his body pumping his release all over the major's hand. Rodney was grateful to the wall for holding him up when it was over. He slumped against it but found the strength to move his arm when he felt Sheppard's hand slide off his spent cock. Rodney gripped that hand, bringing it to his mouth to lick away his own seed. He saw the startled look in the major's eyes and Rodney used the advantage of his distraction to haul Sheppard into him for a kiss. He felt John stiffen for a moment but then he was kissing back and Rodney would have been content to just stand there all day. Kissing.

But John had other ideas. He kissed Rodney thoroughly then pulled away. "That was great," John enthused, as he turned away in search of a towel. Found one on the back of Rodney's chair and wiped his hand.

"Yeah...great." Rodney's voice sounded hoarse to his own ears.

"Catch."

Rodney just stared at the towel that hit him in the chest before dropping to the floor. Then he realized why John had tossed it to him. His own right had was still sticky with John's release a few minutes earlier. "Sorry." Rodney wondered why he was apologizing as he started to bend to pick up the towel.

John was there before him, rolling his eyes. "No big deal."

"Yeah." Rodney wasn't paying attention, he was too busy inhaling a whiff of John's scent. He smelled like sex and mint and something softly musky that Rodney had never been able to figure out if it was soap or aftershave or cologne. And he smelled like John. Something Rodney could not define but could easily become addicted too. Hell, too late. He knew he was addicted to John completely. More than addicted. Rodney was in love.

"See you later at the briefing," John said as he headed for the door.

Rodney nodded at him. He didn't want him to go but he knew there was no point in asking John to stay. So he waited until the major was gone then he slumped onto his bed. Rodney had no one but himself to blame for this. Whatever *This* was. This *sex in a hurry* between them. Which wasn't even sex really. Just two guys jerking each other off for an instant *Whiz bang* release. Yeah...that's all it was, and that was all John wanted. And Rodney had been the one to approach him in the first place.

He hadn't done it on a whim. He had done it after months of agonizing. After carefully building on the frienship that had formed between them. After seeing the way John watched him and worried about him. Rodney knew there was love there on John's part, but he also knew the major was afraid of it. Afraid of letting down his shields and letting Rodney in. And Rodney knew it wouldn't be easy to get past John's defenses. Hell, Rodney had steel plated defenses of his own. But for the chance to love the major, he would tear down every wall. It would be worth the risk. Now he just had to find a way to convince John of the same.

With pleasant thoughts of late night snuggling with messy-haired major's dancing in his head, Rodney closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. Not even realizing that he was still hanging out of his pants.

***

The Wraith suck. Rodney saw one take aim at Major Sheppard with his stunner and he didn't think. He just simply stepped into it's blast. But even as he was hit, Rodney knew something was wrong. The blast shouldn't feel like it was coming out the other side. Then it hit him. Double blast. Damn. That was really going to hurt. But Rodney didn't care. At least not in this moment. John was okay and that was all that mattered. And Rodney knew he was okay because the last sound he heard before darkness claimed him, was the major screaming his name.

"Rodney?"

"Wha..?" He opened his eyes and had to blink a few times to bring Beckett's face into focus. Rodney knew where he was. The infirmary. But it wasn't Beckett who should be leaning over him. "Major?" Panic flared in Rodney. Sheppard had been there ever since Rodney had been brought in. He knew that for a fact. It had been the thing that had grounded him through the pain and the god awful numbness and tingling.

Beckett rubbed Rodney's shoulder to soothe him. "Take it easy. Major Sheppard is fine. He's over there." Beckett jerked a thumb over his shoulder, pointing out the bed next to Rodney's where John lay stretched out.

Relief washed over Rodney. "So he finally fell asleep." He was glad, John had been keeping vigil over him and had to be exhausted.

"He had help." Carson winced. "I had to slip him a mickey. Damn fool wouldn't leave." There was a teasing lilt in his voice as he looked at Rodney.

"He's going to be pissed at you," Rodney countered, and the thought made him smile.

Carson nodded. "Aye, which is why I'll be gone. You handle him."

Rodney was surprised. "I can go?"

"Soon as you feel up to it. It's been four days, lad. Pins and needles should fade away soon. If you have any problems buzz me." With that Carson left the area.

Sitting up slowly, Rodney was pleased to note that he didn't even feel all that tingly at the moment. But he knew he would. But he'd get through it. He slid out of bed and padded over to where John lay. He was curled up on his side, a blanket draped over him, dark hair sticking up at all angles and he looked so damn young and so damn beautiful that Rodney thought his heart might break. Smiling to himself, Rodney grabbed a chair and pulled it over to keep his own vigil.

He knew that John loved him. Knew it to be a fact. Knew it because Rodney remembered John by his side. Soothing him and teasing him and easing him through the pain. Feeding him whenever Rodney complained of hunger because his own arms wouldn't work properly yet. Rodney even remembered the way John has used a soft towel to wipe his face with cool water. Anything and everything to make Rodney feel better. John had stuck to him like glue because he cared. Because he loved Rodney.

And the next two days just proved that all the more. When John woke up he had forgotten to be pissed at Carson because he was so happy to see Rodney up and about that he had hugged him hard, not even realizing what he was doing. Not at first. There had been an awkward moment of embarrassment but then John had slid off the bed and escorted Rodney to his room. He'd left him there to shower and change with the promise to look in on him later. Which actually translated to bringing Rodney coffee and chocolate and sandwiches. And to playing four straight games of chess before tucking Rodney into bed. Then he had spent over an hour rubbing the feeling back into Rodney's arms and legs, telling stories to keep him distracted from the sensation. He had still been talking and rubbing when Rodney fell asleep. And when Rodney woke up the next morning, John had been asleep in the chair.

Yep...it was love. The thing now was, Rodney had to find a way to get John to admit it. To them both.

***

The mission had gone smoothly for once. The only glitch being the dirt. Lots and lots of dirt and they were all covered in it. Dirty and gritty and horny. Well, Rodney was horny and he knew John felt the same way. He was well aware of the fact that the major was clutching the P90 hooked to his vest so that it would cover the bulge between his legs. Rodney knew because he was doing the same damn thing.

They made short work of filling Weir in on the success of the mission, which was to get materials to make more clothing. Then John excused himself and Rodney was right behind him. They didn't talk as they entered a nearby transporter. They simply kissed until they reached their destination. Rodney's room. Once inside, Rodney began stripping, glaring at the major to do the same. "Shower first," Rodney stated.

John hesitated as if he would refuse, but then he shrugged and got undressed.

Rodney was relieved. He had figured John would go along with this. They were filthy and gritty and sweaty and he wanted more than just a quick jerk and release this time. He wanted a chance to see all of John and to touch him and this was the perfect excuse. "Come on," Rodney said, leading the way into the bathroom once they were both naked. He didn't look yet. He wasn't ready. Instead he turned on the water and checked it before stepping inside. Then he looked as he watched John follow. He didn't get to see much because John pushed him against the wall and kissed him, one hand sliding down Rodney's body to wrap around his cock. He stopped the hand and pushed John back, ignoring the puzzled look in the green-hazel eyes. "Wash first," Rodney insisted. Then he reached for the soap, lathered up his hands then pressed them to John's chest.

"Rodney...I can wash myself," John protested.

"I know." But Rodney was determined to have this. He pressed John back against the wall and let his eyes follow the path of his hands. Over John's shoulders then down the curved pecs. He brushed his palms over the flat nipples before tangling his fingers in the dark hairs. Then lower to the flat abdomen before turning John around to lather his back. He could hear John's breathing grow deep and heavy as he brushed over the taut buttocks. Then Rodney took a chance and let one finger stroke between the muscled globes. He felt John go tense then the slim form was turning around, reaching blindly for the soap and Rodney suddenly understood everything. John had never been with another man before. Before him. Before Rodney. He had never been touched by another man, never had another man inside him. Rodney felt his body go all tingly at the thought. He would be John's first in every way. But he knew he had to go slow. This wasn't about sex, it was about something deeper and more satisfying. It was all about love.

John was washing Rodney now, his hands trembling as they soaped away the dirt and sweat. Then he was leaning in to kiss him, focusing on controlling the kiss, before reaching between them once more.

Rodney let John do this. Let him have his control for this moment. He simply let himself feel even as he wrapped his own fingers around John's hardness. THey came within seconds of each other and Rodney wasn't sure who was holding up who. He didn't care. He let his hands glide over John's slick skin, stroking and caressing and loving the tremors his touch induced.

"So what do you want for your birthday tomorrow?" John asked, his lips pressed to Rodney's ear.

"You know what I want." Rodney pulled back so he could see John's face. He knew this was all about distracting him but Rodney could be stubbornly focused when it suited him.

John chuckled softly, but nervously. "Let me guess. New chess board? Flannel sheets?"

Rodney just blinked at him and watched as John flushed. Then the major was pulling away from him. Rodney let him.

"I have to go...I have to debrief and...stuff."

"Of course." Rodney just stood there, leaning against the wall. When John stepped out of the shower he closed his eyes, listening to the sound of him drying off then leaving the room. Rodney waited long enough to know that John would be dressed now and gone, then he turned off the water and dried off. He got dressed and headed for his lab. He was too tired to sleep and too sad.

***

Rodney was surprised when Weir called him to the conference room and everyone that mattered to him was gathered there to wish him a *Happy Birthday*. He thanked them all but his eyes were on John. Sheppard was smiling at him but Rodney just turned away. He knew he was acting a bit childishly, but he was hurt.

He suffered through the birthday song, sung by Ford, and accepted a plate of something resembling cake, but only took one bite and set it aside. The presents he received surprised Rodney and cheered him up a bit. Only John didn't give him a present and that made Rodney hurt all over again.

After a while he made excuses of a headache and needing to go lie down. He thanked everyone then slipped away. And he did go to his room and he did lie down in the shadowy darkness. And he had almost drifted to sleep when he sensed a presence and realized who it was. "John."

"Hey, Rodney." John stepped over to the bed.

"What are you doing here?"

John shifted from one foot to the other. "I came to give you...your present."

Rodney frowned. He didn't see anything in the major's hands. Hands that were clenched at his sides. "What present?" He was feeling a bit irritable about now. "Where is it?"

"Right here," John whispered, and he took that last step to the bed. "I'm your present, Rodney."

"You?" Rodney was confused.

John managed a shaky smile. "Me. Anything you want to do..I'm game."

It hit ROdney what John was saying and he sat up and stared at him in disbelief. He had to clarify. "You mean...anything? Like you and me and -- "

"Yeah...that." And to make it clear to them both, John cupped Rodney's face in both hands and kissed him. A deep, wet, sexy kiss.

"Oh...wow." Rodney was finding it hard to think after that. Then he realized he didn't want to think, nor did he want John to think. He wanted him to feel and to accept what he felt. So Rodney smiled and nodded. "THank you," he whispered, as he rose from the bed. Then he was kissing John even as he stripped him of his teeshirt, pausing to tug off boots and socks and jeans and boxers. Then Rodney eased the naked, and blushing, major down onto his bed. "You have no idea how beautiful you are, John," Rodney breathed as he admired him.

John blushed and bit his lower lip. "Less talk, more action," he begged.

Rodney could see how nervous John was and he wanted to ease his anxiety. So moved over him for another kiss, but soon left the lush mouth to suckle and lick and kiss his way down the perfect body to John's throbbing cock. Rodney sucked the tip into his mouth and heard John gasp. Then fingers were in his hair, tugging at him. Rodney cursed around the hardness in his mouth before letting John's cock slide out and lifting his head.

"Don't...um...not that," John protested.

"Why?" Rodney knew John liked it. "Besides...I thought you were my present? Which means I can do whatever I want. Right?" Rodney knew he had to get John to let go of his inhibitions. To just feel what he felt. And Rodney was going to make him feel amazing.

John bit his lip again before nodding. "Yeah...you're right. You can do anything you want, Rodney. But it's your birthday. Let me do something for you."

Rodney shook his head, reaching out to grip John's wrists and pulling his arms over his head on the pillow. "Don't move, okay? That's what you can do for me." That said, Rodney eased back down and took John's cock in his mouth again, only to feel fingers in his hair again. He sighed and looked up. "What did I tell you?"

"Sorry." John's voice was hoarse and he was panting a bit.

"Close your eyes," Rodney ordered.

John blinked at him instead. "Why?"

Rodney glared back. "Because I said so." He was pleased when John finally obeyed. THen he slid off the bed and retrieved something. A moment later he had John's wrists bound to the headpiece.

"What are you doing?" John's eyes flew open and he looked panicked.

"Making you feel good." Rodney smiled and stripped off his clothes. Then he moved back between John's legs, took him back into his mouth and made him come with a strangled cry.

John was still whimpering when Rodney kissed him, sharing his own taste. He whimpered again when Rodney slid a slicked finger inside him. "Stop...wait! Rodney...Rodney!"

Rodney couldn't wait any longer. He kissed away John's protests, then swallowed the cry of pure pleasure that escaped the major when Rodney found his hot spot. Then he slid his fingers out and moved so that his own hardness was against John's opening.

"Rodney...I can't...I can't do this." John was begging.

"I won't hurt you, John." Rodney locked eyes with the other man. "I mean..it's gonna hurt but I won't..you know."

John shook his head, tugging on his bindings. "That's not why. You can't hurt me, Rodney."

Rodney was confused. "Then what's wrong?"

"I'm scared."

"Oh." Rodney hadn't expected John to admit it. Or for him to look so vulnerable and young and openly raw. "What are you afraid of, John?" He had to ask. He had to know.

John closed his eyes and whispered, "Of feeling too much."

Relief washed over Rodney. "That's the whole point, John." He leaned in to kiss the soft mouth that beckoned him. "I love you," Rodney whispered. "And I know you care about me. I don't want to hide it anymore. But if you're not ready for this...okay. I'll wait." Rodney reached up and untied John, then he eased off of him, ignoring his heavy, throbbing, aching cock. Once John was gone Rodney would find his release.

"Rodney.." John's voice was softer than a whisper and he was pressing Rodney down onto the bed then moving over him.

"What are you doing?" Rodney asked, only to be silenced with a kiss. He felt fingers brushing over his cock and Rodney moaned into John's mouth, closing his eyes and letting himself accept this. He would make it be enough for now. Only Rodney's eyes flew open as he felt the tip of his cock pressing into warm tightness. He stared in wonderment as John rocked over him, taking Rodney's cock into his body inch but delicious inch and it was so amazing that Rodney wanted to cry. "You don't have to do this," he whispered, hoarsely, even as he reached up and touched John's face, soothing away the lines of pain.

John was smiling as he nipped ROdney's finger, then he sighed as he settled all the way down onto the muscled thighs. "I want to do this," he breathed.

Rodney believed him. He blinked back tears and pushed himself up so he could shift them both. Then John was cradled on his lap and Rodney was buried so deep he thought he might pass out from the pleasure. And it was a sensation overload from that moment on. All heat and light and sparkles of pleasure and Rodney was pretty sure he passed out for a minute because he was lying down again with John draped over him and it was more perfect than his wildest dreams.

"Go to sleep, birthday boy," John whispered in his ear.

"Thank you," Rodney whispered back, then he closed his eyes again and he didn't even dream. He didn't have to because reality was so much better.

***

John was gone when Rodney woke up. That disappointed him more than he was willing to admit, but he felt a bit more cheery when he read the note John left him. After a quick shower Rodney headed for the the gate room, as John had told him they had a nine o'clock briefing. But to Rodney's surprise, John was waiting for him on the stairs. "Did I miss the briefing?" Rodney asked. Which didn't seem likely, since it wasn't even nine yet.

"No." John was smiling at him. Then he did the most shocking thing. He grabbed Rodney to pull him close, then he cupped his face and kissed him.

Rodney was beyond stunned. There were people milling about everywhere. People who could see them. But he soon forgot about that when John's tongue tangled with his and Rodney was kissing back until John broke the kiss, leaving Rodney panting with desire.

John rubbed his thumb over Rodney's lower lip and smiled. THen he said, loud enough for everyone to hear, "I love you, Dr. ROdney McKay!"

"You love me?" Rodney echoed. And he didn't need John to say a thing because Rodney could see the love shining in the beautiful eyes. And he could see that John was waiting for a reply. Rodney didn't have the words, so he used actions. He grabbed John, slammed him back into the railing and kissed him for all he was worth. Rodney could hear applause and yelling and clapping and he felt giddily happy. "I love you too," he whispered against John's lips. And the smile that John gave him was brighter than any star in the sky. In this galaxy or any other.

"Happy Birthday, Rodney," John whispered.

Rodney sighed with happiness. For once he had gotten what he wished for.

THE END