And Dead I Well May Be
by Mitch H
URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asm/mitchh/dead.php
Summary: Jack lays in a cold ice cave and thinks of his friends and colleagues
Info: Summary: Jack lays in a cold ice cave and thinks of his friends and colleagues. Daniel desperately searches for Jack and Sam. Teal'c shows his devotion. Despite the title, nobody dies.
Based on the Episode Solitudes and also on Harry Connick Jr. singing his version of Danny Boy. If you've never heard him sing this song you've NEVER heard the song. The man's vocal cords are lethal weapons. Sap alert. No-sex alert. Thanks to Jackson_Rules and Corrinne for Alphaing.
Note: the punctuation and capitolization is s'posed to be all weird like it is. It's uh, poetic, yeah, that's the term.
-Cold-
Cold infused itself into Jack O'Neill's soul. Sam Carter worked frantically, her mind flushed with desperation and frustration he knew. He felt the pain emanate from her every time she came to tend him. Jack moved as little as possible now. He'd be strong for her and for himself. Hold on, be the Colonel, be the man he needed to be. Nothing else would do for SGC's second in command, Colonel Jack O'Neill, USAF.
His skin grew waxy pale and his exhales now barely showed warm gusts of vapor. Sam had to go, he wouldn't have it any other way and he wouldn't die less than the man he was. So he ordered her and the Fine Point Constant of the universe dictated for her to obey him, to give him the dignity he gave her.
He was alone. He thought of his universe as cold tendrils wrapped him like a death shroud encircling an Egyptian pharaoh. Then he structured his existence.
"It was an honor serving with you." Jack thanked Sam for all she'd given him. The friendship, loyalty and service. Those were the things shown on the outside to the world. And he thanked her for what was inside, between them. Love, devotion and truth seldom seen among humankind, and seldom respected and kept sacrosanct as it was between the two of them.
"Sara." She had been his compass and he thanked her for it; thanked her for all they'd shared, all they'd been to each other. Thanked her for being who she was and he'd never ask her to change. Thanked her for accepting him for who he was then and who he was now. Thanked her for keeping Charlie's memory sacred.
Jack thanked Teal'c for being the companion in arms, the warrior at his side that he needed. Thanked him for being his friend, his right hand man and again, nothing short of changing the makeup of the universe could change who and what Teal'c was for Jack. He thanked Teal'c for the sacrifices he made, the devotion he gave and for his protection for those Jack loved. He thanked Teal'c for taking from Jack what he needed to give to the warrior.
Jack saluted General Hammond and thanked him for the conviction he had in Jack. It's something Hammond felt Jack earned every time he stepped back through the gate from a mission. Because Jack was who he was, he refused to accept that faith unearned, untested, untried. Warrior, leader, friend. Jack was that to Hammond and accepted that from Hammond.
Death sighed closer to him like a low hanging fog in a meadow. Jack felt its encirclement. He slipped into the cold arms and slowly adjusted himself to the comfortable embrace. He kissed Sara goodbye. He hugged Sam. He gave Teal'c a warrior's clasp. He gave Hammond a salute. Time to go, all of you. Time to go.
His good-byes were all said now.
So then he laid back and played a song for Daniel. It was the velvet voice of Harry Connick Jr. and a song Daniel would smile about. Blue eyes sparkled at Jack out of the vaulted barrenness of the cold ice tomb. He could see Daniel's full mouth smiling ironically at the Irish ballad. Jack's face didn't move; just his soul smiled.
Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the roses falling
It's you, It's you must go and I must bide
-SGC-
Search teams. Rationally Daniel laid it out for the General, giving him what he needed. That's what Daniel was good at. Define the situation, communicate the problem, the need, then follow it with options, solutions. Then make it happen. Step by step. Search teams were dispatched and Daniel studied the glass board displaying possibilities, destinations, red lines. He felt cold.
Teal'c raged inside. His warrior's soul drove him on. There was no question of stopping, no question of quitting. Nothing would prevent him from going where Daniel Jackson pointed. Where Daniel said search, Teal'c would search. Where Daniel said push, fight, hunt, Teal'c would push, fight, hunt for his warrior brother, for the fiery Samantha Carter. Where Daniel commanded, Teal'c would serve like he had never served any godlike being. Where Daniel said to go, to lay his life on the line, Teal'c, without hestiation, would.
-In the Cold-
Cold. Jack welcomed it. It would freeze the blood pooling in his lungs. It would take the pain of broken bones and torn muscle and leave him peace. Snow. He could sink into the cold, the snow, away from summer into the dark. So Daniel had to go, and Jack had to stay because the cold was his place now. And Daniel had that ironic smile on his face, projecting this image of someone who'd heard the song aimed at himself uncounted times and could laugh about it now. But then finally--as he'd never said it with words--Jack played the song for Daniel, played it with his heart and the last four words of the verse touched Daniel. Jack saw Danny feel the last four words.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
It's I'll be here in sunshine, or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so
-SGC-
Nothing. No sign. Planet after planet was checked. Daniel pointed and men scoured a galaxy, left their home and safety to travel light-years away into harm's way, into the vast unknown. Again and again Teal'c came back without Jack, without Sam. Daniel met his gaze every time, unflinching, unwavering. He took in the warrior's pain and frustration and accepted it. Took it because Teal'c loved Jack. Teal'c loved Sam, and Daniel would give the warrior nothing less than that same love. Teal'c, unlike Jack had earned that from Daniel. Jack simply had it. Daniel had simply gifted it to Jack.
-In the Cold Embrace-
And I do, Danny boy. I love you so. I know you won't let me go easy. I know you won't do what's right for you until you've done what's right for me. Grieve for me, mourn for me. Do it because I know you must. Then live. Because I think I will be dead before you come, but Daniel you know I will not have gone from you. I will be always waiting. But If I am dead, and dead I may well be.
But when ye come and all the flowers are dying
If I am dead, and dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an Ave there for me
-SGC-
Something. Daniel had to be forgetting something. Teal'c was exhausted, bloody. Daniel pointed here, there, and Teal'c went. If he pointed to the heart of a sun Teal'c would search there. Daniel took in the stare of pain from the big warrior and allowed it to steep in his soul. Hammond had faith in Daniel, but faith could take an army only so far. But Daniel would not stop. He had more than faith.
Something. There was another answer to this. Daniel felt a tremor. He felt the ribbon that tied his soul to another, the ribbon that tied soul mates together as surely as one gate was tied to another. The tie thrummed, the connection plucked like a string on a harp.
Daniel felt his life tilt, slide, rotate, then recenter. Daniel's mind went where others did not. Jack was here. Jack was HERE. Ahh. Yes.
-In the Cold Embrace of Death-
Daniel, I'll always be where you can find me. Always. Because as I said, I love you so, and I know you will say the words to me. Even if I never hear them with my ears, my heart will hear.
And I shall hear tho' soft you tread above me
And all my grave will warmer, sweeter be
For you will bend and tell me that you love me
And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me
-Antarctica-
Daniel stood bright and energetic in his parka, the mightiest of all Jaffa warriors at his side. Daniel had pointed, here. This planet. It had not been the heart of a sun but was as deadly. And the warrior had come and so had the General and so had the might of a nation, the rescue teams and their equipment. All had come because Daniel pointed here.
Sam. Alive. Blessedly alive.
And under the ice tomb he'd waited where death Pipes had Called to him. Summer gone, the Roses Fallen. There was only Snow, only Shadow. And Daniel had Come to him. Had Come and pushed back the Snow, the Shadow, Come wrapped in Summer's Sunlight down the Mountain and filling the Glen with life. Daniel had come to him.
Dead he well may have been soon. Daniel didn't Kneel; no Ave needed for him now because Daniel had pointed here. Thus, no Grave, this tomb of ice. No Sweet release of Sleep needed here. Daniel had come to him.
-SGC Infirmary-
"Jack." Daniel stroked the peaceful man's temple. "Jack," he whispered. The tiny curtained cubicle was dark. The lights in the ward were low. They were in privacy. Daniel touched his lips to Jack's temple.
Jack murmured again. Daniel leaned close to hear the rest of the words Jack had been whispering. "for you will bend and tell me that you love me. And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me."
"I did, Jack. I came to you."
"Daniel?" Jack whispered as his eyes fluttered open.
Daniel bent down again, bringing his lips to Jack's ear. "I came to you."
"You came to me."
"I did."
"Danny. It was. It really was peaceful."
"Yes."
"You came."
"Yes."
"So I need to wake up."
"But first, I must bend and tell you. I love you."
Jack turned his head and brought his lips to Daniel's. The kiss was chaste, sweet and gentle. Daniel brought a hand up and stroked Jack's jaw. They parted and sky blue eyes peered down into earth brown eyes.
"I will always come to you."
Jack whispered, "If you ever go from me again, I'll wait until you return, until you come to me. Always."
"Always," Daniel echoed his soul mate.
The thread uniting them thrummed more powerful than a continent of ice, more powerful than the heart of a sun, more powerful than faith, than mortal life and death.
End
