Blessing The Counter

by Pie

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asp/pie/blessing.php
Summary: What's that steaming up the kitchen? Well it ain't just the cooking!
Info: I got into a discussion with Deoneta about the hygenic implications of her Countersex manip- LMAO! This is the result and is fondly dedicated to her.

Jack lifted the lid from the casserole dish and leaned down to sniff the rich, savoury aroma appreciatively. He didn't cook often, but when he did - he really liked to go to town. Jack liked Daniel to have something warm inside him to precede a night of having something hot inside him. He tried to remember when he had ever cooked for Sara, but unless take-out counted, the only answer he could come up with was "crap!".

"Hey."

Jack turned around and found something much better than Moroccan Tangine to appreciate; Daniel was dressed in clinging, ratty sweats, his hair was all over the place and he had nothing on his feet. The heat was rising in this particular kitchen, but Jack had no intention of getting out. He wondered if this rush, the instant arousal he seemed to feel when seeing Daniel would ever fade. He hoped the hell not.

"Mmmmm," he murmured.

Daniel gave Jack the evil eye over the top of his glasses. If Daniel only realised just how sexy that particular look was...Nah better not tell him, he might stop.

"Can I help with anything?"

Jack contemplated for a minute. "Yeah, you can sit on the counter and let me objectify you."

"Jaaack, you can't cook and look at me at the same time."

"I'm multi-skilled, I can stir the pot and feel you up as well."

Daniel laughed as he leapt with graceful alacrity onto the counter, it was a carefree, joyous sound that Jack treasured because it happened so rarely.

"It's just as well I quite like being an object of lust," Daniel mused reflectively.

Jack went to open a window to let some of the steam out, not all of it created by the pans on the hob. "You've missed out 'Jack' in that sentence, Danny-boy."

Daniel looked down enquiringly. "Have I?"

"Yeah. It's just as well you like being an object of Jack's lust. You'd better not like anyone else's at all!"

Righteous indignation filled Daniel's voice. "I've never even seen anyone else's lust. A skinny geek doesn't get many offers, you know."

"Correction, Daniel: you WERE a skinny geek, now you're a chunky babe. I put it down to my feeding you up since we got together. Just call me Martha Stewart."

Daniel looked at Jack with a dangerous gleam in his eyes. Jack had encountered that look before and it had gotten him a week sleeping on the deck - the couch had been too close for Daniel's peace of mind. Jack began to mentally review what he had just said.

"Chunky?" Daniel beat him to it and menace dripped from every pursed syllable. "CHUNKY!"

Jack thought furiously. "Hunk-y. That's it. A total hunk-y babe." Jack gave Daniel the full effect of his puppy dog eyes - they had gotten him out of heaps of shit before and he could see his lover struggle to maintain his grievance. Jack being Jack decided to add more fuel to the already blazing fire.

"Although," he added musingly, "you could be my Chunky Spacemonkey. Now there's a flavour Ben and Jerry haven't thought up yet. Oh yeah! Daniel Jackson flavoured ice cream. If that was on the market, I'd guarantee I'd weigh thirty stones in a week!"

"I'm letting chunky go, Jack, this time, but only because I don't have a damn clue what you're yapping on about and you are making me a nice dinner."

Jack turned back to the oven and allowed himself a smile of victory - if only the boys in special ops could see him now, dressed in a frilly apron and tied by its strings to a gorgeous genius who led him a merry dance, they would drop on the spot...possibly after punchinghis lights out. Jack wanted to laugh himself sick at the thought, but probably Daniel might not quite understand.

The unmistakable sound of strong, white teeth biting into a crunchy, juicy apple had Jack spinning back round.

"You'll spoil your dinner," he bitched.

Daniel casually shrugged. "An apple a day keeps Doctor Fraiser away," he smirked.

"Daniel, you could eat apples from dawn until dusk and still you'd get the annual prize for the year's longest inhabitant of the infirmary. You've held that record for five years, they have a bed with your name on it for chrissakes."

"That's because I have to eat your cooking too, it negates the benefits of eating apples."

The hurt showed on Jack's expressive face. "I only poisoned you that one damn time."

"Jack, the nurses had to wear Bio-Hazard suits just to come near me. They were calling me Daniel and the Technicolour Projectile Vomit."

"Well who knew that six week old Salsa would have that effect? I thought the green bits were Guacamole."

Daniel scowled around the apple he was still munching. "What? Furry Guacamole? I noticed you didn't eat any."

"I was saving it for you. Why didn't you say it tasted funny?"

Daniel had to plead the fifth on that one. He didn't want to tell Jack that most of his cooking tasted funny, because then he would have to admit he was a total sap. A sap who was so in love with his...lov...part...boyfriend that he would do anything to keep him happy. Even eat food that rivalled some of the strangest things he had put in his mouth on other planets.

"Anyway, I don't know how you have the nerve to complain about my cooking, I've never seen you refuse to eat it. In fact, you shovel it in your mouth like you've been starving for a week!"

'That's because I don't want to give my tastebuds time to meet'n'greet,' thought Daniel mischievously. He looked at Jack, busy stirring pots and anxiously checking the recipe in the cook book for about the tenth time, and Daniel felt that love rush through him. He knew instinctively that Jack would not just do this for anyone else. Who gave a damn if it tasted like crap?

"I'm sorry..." Daniel said pacifically, fluttering his eyelashes with rapid abandon, "...Is the meal still on the table?

Jack threw back his head and gave a great belly laugh. "You shit," he chuckled, "Aris Boch should have kicked your ass!"

Daniel grinned unrepentently. "Well..." he was all demure innocence, "...only as long as you kissed it better."

Jack moved to stand in-between Daniel's splayed legs. "I think we can say that with the fullest confidence." He leaned up to kiss Daniel swiftly on the lips and was totally blown away when Daniel heaved an apple flavoured sigh of pleasure against his mouth. Jack began to pull back, muttering something disjointed about the stove.

"Hey! No fair." Daniel grabbed the apron front and pulled Jack in so that he could crush their mouths together in a fiery tussle of tongues, lips and teeth. Daniel wrapped his long legs around Jack's hips to keep him right where he wanted him. His mouth broke from Jack's for a moment to gasp hoarsely as their fabric covered cocks brushed against each other. Daniel used his arms to pull Jack even closer; he desperately needed more and he tugged Jack's shirt up and slid his hands under the cloth to peacefully explore the tantalisingly smooth skin he'd uncovered. Shivering in delicious reaction, Jack bit the underside of Daniel's jaw in retaliation, but then laved it better with his tongue. He went on to trail his hands up over Daniel's stomach, brushing his knuckles over Daniel's defined abs, before sliding around his ribs to fondle his lower back. The calloused carresses made Daniel moan helplessly between nips at Jack's throat to catch the beads of sweat that were forming to trickle down. Jack slipped his hands beneath the waistband of Daniel's sweats to massage the twin globes of the sweet ass that he loved so much. Gripping Daniel's hips, he pulled him to the edge of the counter so that he could line up their dicks more easily. Jack clambered onto the counter and bore Daniel back to lie along the smooth surface. They both cried out as they came into full bodily contact.

"Jack?" It was hard to think when a hot, wet tongue was making a friendly incursion into a very willing ear. "Jack!"

"What?" Jack bared his teeth. "Kinda busy here, Daniel."

"We can't...Oh God. Yes! Right there...er...we can't do it here."

"We damn well can!"

"B...b...but we eat off this counter!" Daniel was panting.

"You have picked up the weirdest habits on your jaunts." Jack was kissing his way down Daniel's chest, only having a rest stop at the enticing nipples along the way. "I eat from plates myself, but if you wanna eat off the counter go ahead! Gravy could be messy though."

"Seriously. You know what I mean." Jack stopped what he was doing long enough to press a lingering kiss onto Daniel's swollen lips and then he gazed meaningfully into pleasure drowned blue eyes.

"It's just as well we do eat here," Jack breathed huskily in promise, "because I plan to gobble you up!"

"You know, if you are going Alpha on me then the frilly apron is so not helping your cause."

"Well that's easily remedied, Danny-boy." Kneeling up, Jack began to tear at his clothes, only hampered a little by a six foot limpet trying to climb into his body with him.

"Daniel! Get with the programme!"

"Okay, okay. Are you the naked chef, Jack?"

"No, I'm the fucking horny chef, so hurry the hell up."

Daniel surged up and ripped his tee over his head and threw it haphazardly across the kitchen. Trying to get the bottoms off proved rather more difficult, balanced precariously as he was along the counter and with a heavyweight colonel straddling his thighs, undressing.

"Ooof Jack," he snarled, "some help here."

Jack pushed Daniel flat and began tugging at the sweats in a frenzy, finally yanking them from Daniel's long legs and flinging them away, his brown eyes glittering in triumph as he mashed Daniel flat and began to maul him.

"I take it you're topping," enquired Daniel tartly.

"The chef is supreme in the kitchen," Jack stated with a pronounced leer. "Everyone else is under him."

"Just as well for you I'm easy."

"Slut," replied Jack fondly. "I think it will only work if you are up on your knees."

They both scrambled up to get into position. "Fuck, I need to get lube. I'll never make it to the bedroom," Jack was positively whining.

Daniel nodded at a bottle that was next to the stove. "Use Olive Oil and fucking hurry."

Jack reached out and snagged the oil, pouring a generous amount into his shaking hand and some of it splashed onto the surface of the counter. "Extra Virgin, just for you, Daniel."

"Lucky for you I'm not even close. Fuck me hard, Jack."

"Shit! Don't say things like that, I'll go off like a rocket."

"Well get the fuck inside me then!"

Jack swiftly prepared Daniel and then slicked his throbbing, turgid cock. He gripped Daniel's hips and raised him, positioning himself at the entrance of his lover's beautiful body. He steadily pushed the head into the gripping, tight heat that his dick craved and Jack couldn't stop the groan of delight as milimetre by milimetre he was swallowed whole.

It was too slow for Daniel, he reached down and grabbed Jack's hands from his hips, and with one shove backwards, impaled himself fully onto Jack's hot, straining shaft.

They both yelled out.

"F...f..fuck, Daniel!"

Jack couldn't help himself, he was buried to the balls in his wilful lover - he just had to thrust. He screwed up his eyes and face in an effort to just be still, but he could no sooner stop his body's demands than prevent the tide from rushing to shore. It didn't damn well help when the man beneath him was writhing all over his lap and commanding him to, "Get the hell on with it, for fuck's sake."

It wasn't romantic, it was primal. It wasn't cerebral, it was sheer physical, grunting effort. Two men locked together on top of the counter - heaving, sweating, twisting, using each other, engaged in the most primitive yet deepest of earthly connections.

Jack plunged again and again into Daniel flushed, shuddering body, angling his thrusts to give maximum pleasure. He wrapped his arms across Daniel's chest and pulled him up, peering down over the shoulder in front of him.

"Touch yourself!" Jack ordered in a croaky growl.

Daniel leaned his head back against Jack's chest and wrapped his long fingers around his own begging cock. Fisting it in time with Jack's powerful strokes, he moaned in luxurious delight as he was rocked forward. Jack moaned too - at the wonderfully erotic sight of Daniel losing control.

Jack pressed his hands into Daniel's lower belly and felt himself moving inside. It was too fucking hot, too fucking much, too fucking Daniel. He stilled, quaking, but he could not resist his body's desperate clamour, he cried out an incoherent warning as intense spasms shook him to the core and he exploded, shooting his completion deep within Daniel.

The feel of Jack's heat blazing a trail inside him, sent Daniel over the edge and he came over his hand and over the counter. After a few minutes, they quieted and came back into themselves. Jack slipped his satiated, softened cock out of Daniel and wrapped his arms around his trembling lover.

"Fuck that was good!" rasped Jack, panting heavily.

"Uh huh," replied Daniel weakly. "Jack, my sight is blurry."

"I would take that as a compliment, but your sight is always blurry."

"Not when I still have my glasses on, it's not."

"What?" Jack looked around him and noticed the acrid smoke rapidly filling the kitchen. "Shit! Fuck! Dinner is burning." Jack leaped down from the counter and promptly fell on his ass. Semen and Olive Oil had dripped onto the floor, he gingerly got himself upright and skidded and slipped his way to the stove.

"Ruined," he announced mournfully as he fiddled with oven controls.

Daniel was having his own problems. The oil and come covered counter was not the easiest thing to negotiate with his body still blissed out from stonking great sex with his ardent, athletic lover. His ass ached in a way that made Daniel glad to be alive; he liked knowing Jack had been inside him, snuggled the secret to himself like a warm hug when they had to pretend to be nothing more than buddies on base. Liked to shift in his office chair or in the briefing room and feel a twinge inside his gut that signalled to him they were together.

Jack grabbed both the pans and dropped them into the trash can, not regretting the mindblowing sex at all, but saddened that his culinary efforts had been in vain. He wanted to show Daniel that he loved him in other ways than just fucking.

"Pizza?" he asked dejectedly, looking back at the sticky, slippery man still sprawled on the counter. What a fucking amazing sight! Jack was amazed when his dick gave a twitch of appreciation - there was still life in this old dog!

"I have a better idea," replied Daniel. "How about some comfort sex? Take our mind of the burnt offerings."

Jack grinned, "A man with a plan." With a huge whoop of jubilation, Jack took a giant leap towards the counter and his lover. Daniel squeaked at the sight of his Airforce colonel flying without wings and took evasive action, rolling into a ball on his side.

There was a huge thud as 190 pounds of flyboy landed heavily and slid along the slick counter, ramming into Daniel and crowding him up against the wall. As Daniel peeked cautiously out from beneath his hands, there came the sound of ominous creaking.

"Oooops," groaned Jack.

With a massive, thunderous crash, the counter collapsed.

Dust and debris filled the abused kitchen.

"Oh Jack!" gushed Daniel, now lying on the floor. "You've finally made the earth move."

"Bastard," coughed Jack, spluttering. "I'm covered in crap."

"Count yourself lucky! My butt's gonna be black and blue and not just from the pounding you gave it."

"Yeah, well unless you have splinters the size of porcupine quills sticking outta your ass, I'd shut up."

Daniel was not an intergalatic peacekeeper for nothing. He knew when to let the dust settle.

"I'm very handy with tweezers, Jack, and apparently I'm great at plucking!"

Epilogue

They were on their second day of the clean up operation; it had taken one day just to get themselves sorted, never mind the kitchen. They surveyed in dismay the come covered, greasy wreckage that once was the counter.

"Somehow I don't think disinfectant will quite fix this disaster area," Jack said ruefully.

"How did my pants end up on the ceiling fan?" Daniel was gobsmacked.

"I guess I was motivated," sniggered Jack. "If I ever ask you to sit on the counter and let me look at you again, shoot me."

"Yeah, yeah, you say that now, but you know as soon as you feel in the mood I'll be back up there being objectified. Anyway it was great sex."

"Yeah," smiled Jack reminiscently, "the best, and worth every scream as you extracted the splinters from my ass."

"You know we could get some help cleaning up if we play the helpless but hot men in distress card."

Jack's ears perked up at the word help. "We could?"

"That lovely neighbour of ours from across the street, what's her name?"

"You mean Edna?" Jack prompted.

"Yeah, she likes you and is always offering to help us guys out. Go and ask her."

"What! Why me? You're the one with the big, blue eyes."

"I've seen her checking your ass out and if you ask nicely she may rub it better."

"She'll wonder what the hell we've been doing."

Daniel had a pronounced twinkle in his quote 'big, blue eyes'. "She would have to be an idiot not to work it out, but we'll buy her silence with the offer of a threesome."

"Daniel Jackson!!"

Finis

Author's Note: Thanks for reading:-)