The Joy Of Text
by Pie
URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asp/pie/joyoftex.php
Summary: You are never alone with a mobile cell phone...especially when it's set to vibrate.
Daniel, are you there?
Whr L's wd I B?
What?
Whr L's wd I B?
Where are you?
I'm hre.
For a supposed genius your spelling is crappy. Even I can work this text thing, since Teal'c showed me what to do. Where is here?
I presume ur sumwhr w/yr ph.
Stop being so damn prissy and just tell me where you are?
ur
ur?
u not you and r not are. It's rly nt diFicult Jack.
It may not be difficult, but u fucking r. UR a fucking pain in the ass! Is there something wrong with you? Are you hurt? Is someone there?
Jack, dn't B an ass. BTW that should be F*#@%#g and a$$.
Well I like that. You are the one who can't spell.
I cn spel jst fyn. I'm spkg txt.
Are you having a fit?
Byt me. Txt S an evolving ritN lang, actualy I'm kinda worid, cos it's stripping lang dwn 2 it's most basic levl...
Daniel?
I mean w@ ritN txtz wl der B n a cpl of hundred yrs 4 linguists 2 stdy, f evry 1 begins 2uz electronics 2 wrt. I mean as itz, D art of letta ryTN S dying. Records r n dngr + oral hist S 100% subjective. It's a phenomenon u knw.
Whoa Danny! Rest your thumb. Sheesh it goes faster than your mouth.
Jst tink watz bng lost 2 mankind! BTW whr RU?
Where am I?
Ys.
I'm in a briefing. Carter is Technobabbling and Doohickeying us all into a coma. I need rescuing.
WHAT? JACK! You are not supposed to even have your mobile at the mountain. Let alone be texting me!
Ha Ha. Made you write properly. Strike one for the General, who BTW is the main man and can do whatever he likes, as a certain archaeologist once told me.
I ddnt tel u 2 txt durin briefings, it cud B rly impt.
Who's fucking impotent? Wait till I get home, Danny-boy. I'll show you impotent!
IMPORTANT! I think U R having trouble with your textuality, Jack. LMAO!
This is important, It's crappy here without you. There's nothing wrong with my textuality and you'd better be prepared to turn the other cheek of what UR laughing off.
Promises, promises. UR nt getN off dat esily. Hw on erth RU getN a signal?
I think it's bouncing off Teal'cs gold emblem. I hope UR resting like the doc said.
Evrytings rested apart frm my thum. I'm nt evn ill.
Mild shock the doc said.
Mild Shock! I'm surprised I didn't have a hart @ak. We were authorised 2 go thru the G8!
I've heard sex is a good cure for shock.
According 2 U sex is a good cure for evryting.
It didn't cure your Ascension, tho I definitely saw the second coming in the elevator. Wanna try that again sometime?
WOO HOO!
I'll take that as a yes please, with bells on.
How RU getN away wth txtng me. Surely some1 az noticed?
Nope. Carter's in technobabble heaven, Teal'c is Kel-no-reeming and SG-5 R snoring.
Teal'c can't Kel-no-reem anymor.
Well, he's doing a damn good impression.
Y bothr wi txtnG. Y not use yr othr long-range communication device?
Eh?
Yr Voice, Jack. I'm sure I'll hear U.
Very Funny. Laugh it up, big guy. Anyway I'm getting lots of enjoyment from this method of communication.
U R, Y?
I've got it set to vibrate. It's giving bits of me a lovely buzz.
EWWWWWW Jack, I don wanna kno.
Oooh yeah, baby. Right there!
Stop it!
Ooooh U R so good! You've definitely done this before.
Stop it right now!
YES! YES! YES! Oh god Danny.
I do not want 2 B responsible 4 getting U off in a briefing, especially when I'm nt getting anything out of it. U'd better nt B wasting a perfectly good erection on yor damn cell phone. It will take ages 4 U 2 get it up again.
It will not!
Yes it will.
Will not!
Will 2.
Will not.
Will not.
It so will.
Damn, how do you do that?
Finis
Author's Note: Thanks for reading:-)
