Scrubs

by Pie

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asp/pie/scrubs.php
Summary: After the events in The Shroud, Daniel needs the answer to something that has been bugging him for years. Ten to be exact! Gratutitous use of the words happens - in all it's tenses.

"Daniel. Don't start."

"It's a legitimate question, Jack."

"Ya know, I think we have a tad more to worry about at the moment. What happened to the fate of the Galaxy hanging in the balance?"

" Like you said, old news. I've been wondering about this for ten years, it just keeps happening!"

"C'mon Daniel, it's happened to all of us."

"I don't think so. Teal'c?"

"...Okay, maybe not the big guy, but definitely me and Carter."

"Pfffffft. Once or twice, tops. It happens to me at least four or five times a year, blue or white it doesn't seem to make a difference."

"I like the blue, Daniel and you're exaggerating."

"I am not."

"Well I definitely know it's happened to Mitchell."

"Yeah, a whole once and it's never happened to Vala. It's like there's a queue of people just waiting for me to pass out."

"That happens almost as much as the galaxy needs saving."

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Take a bow, the universe's greatest living comedian."

"Mitchell was right, you are grumpy, not to mention pissy and sarcastic too. Hey, I'm on your side remember. I dropped everything and came running to pull your butt outta the fire."

"I'm overwhelmed...not. I didn't see you racing to release me from the chair."

".........."

"Jaaaaack?"

"I was distracted, okay. I mean, you looked so..."

"What? Strange? Bizarre? Weird?"

"Sexy."

"What the fuck? SEXY!?"

"Damn straight. I mean I didn't really like the eyes, but apart from that...silver is a pretty good look for you."

"Pervert."

"And you were restrained too, and wearing that overall thingy. A wet dream for any passing Generals."

"Oh my God! You're right."

"I am? I mean of course I am. Right about what in particular."

"I wasn't wearing the overalls before Mitchell zatted me. It happened TWICE."

"Now Daniel."

"Who fuckin' did it?"

"You're making too much out of this."

"That's easy for you to say. It doesn't keep happening to you. For years I believed it was just an infirmiry thing you know, but there was just the six of us on board after I passed out. I mean once it even happened in reverse, I was already in scrubs and when I came to I was fully dressed in uniform...boots n' all."

"I was there, Daniel."

Who was it?"

"It won't do you any good to know."

"Was it Sam?"

"Of course not, she had other doohickeys to play with."

"Mitch..."

"Don't even go there."

"Teal'c?"

"Ummmm..."

"JACK! Please tell me it was you."

"Okay, the second time it was me. Rank does have it's privileges you know. I gotta tell ya, the cheeks on your face were not the only ones that were flushed. Just be thankful they were coverall scrubs and didn't have a trap door. You did notice that everyone stood behind you on deck?"

" Fuck off Jack. And when they changed me into the overalls?"

"I'm not sure, Danny-boy, I was on base then. I did hear Woolsey was sniffing round."

"Mention his name again and you're gonna be singing soprano."

"Shutting up now."

"Just tell me, Jack, you know I'll find out. Bear in mind that whoever offers me some pertinant information will be in for a big reward."

"Okay, but you didn't hear this from me, we, I mean the team, take it in turns. It's a perk of the job."

"A perk of the job?"

"Yep, why do you think everyone wants to join SG-1!"

Finis

Author's Note: Thanks for reading:-)