The Senses Series 3

Speechless

by Pie

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asp/pie/senses03.php
Summary: Good night sweet prince: And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest! - If only! Jack has an unconscious archaeologist keeping him awake - he passes the time wondering why he puts up with it.

Forcryingoutloud! He's snoring!

To think I've lain awake these past ten nights missing the little shit and imagining what we would do to celebrate his return. None of my wildest, x-rated, wet fantasies had him rolling over and making like a buzz saw - maybe some moaning and groaning and possibly some screaming...but snoring? Nah!

I turn huffily on my side with my back to him; I can hear the gusts of breath he expels before I feel them prickle softly over the skin of my shoulder, sending shivers of sensation down to my sex-deprived dick.

Okay, so I'm being a selfish asshole and the doc reckons he's on the verge of exhaustion after the mission from hell, but couldn't he have given his General a thorough debriefing first?

I throw myself onto my back, my head hitting the pillow with a thump.

I'm not trying to wake him up.

Really.

It hasn't worked anyway, although he has shifted in his sleep and he's stopped with the nasal soundtrack.

I turn my head, but can only see his inky silhouette in the darkness of our bedroom. I can hear his deep, even breathing and I have one of those ‘eppy fannies’ that Daniel keeps yakking about.

It's not just about sex!

I'm glad I'm lying down or else that thought would have floored me.

I am happy to just have him here, in my bed, where I can listen to him breathe.

I gently lay my head on his chest and can hear the steady, soothing beat of his heart. It sounds like music to me in the silent darkness, but if you tell him I said something that sappy, I'll deny it.

Loudly.

Or shoot you.

Daniel Jackson has the strongest heart of any person I know. Can you tell me of anyone else who could have survived the crap he has had thrown at him and still emerge with such a wonderful character? Not the same person as eight years ago, of course, but still putting everyone else before himself.

Some might say the worst thing he has to deal with is a six foot two, grey haired General with busted up knees and a wacky sense of humour, but Daniel never makes me feel like that. In fact he makes me feel like...Brad Pitt’s younger, sexier brother.

From the first time I heard his educated, cultured tones, he wormed his way into a place inside me that I’d felt was dead. He became my conscience; a damn annoying voice that had me disobeying the Air Force and obeying him within a month of meeting him.

He called me “Jack.”

Do you know how few people do that?

Not so many since I lost my Charlie.

Not only did I have to get used to not having a son anymore, but all of a sudden it seemed no one was calling me anything at all. Any friends I had away from work had been Charlie orientated; I avoided them and they steered clear of the bereaved father; I guess it was too close to home. What do you say to a guy whose boy had killed himself with his gun?

Sara could hardly bear to look me in the eye, let alone speak to me and to anyone in the military I was the scarily angry, asshole of a "Colonel."

And that was when I met Daniel, and he gave me the validation I had lost.

Against my will he made me take an interest in him, this weird mix of genius and humility, arrogance and naivety.

Daniel made me a human being again, one that refused to consider genocide as a convenient reason to commit suicide and one that Charlie would have been proud to call ‘Dad.'

And I had to leave him behind - this guy who had made such a difference to my life in such a short time. Because now he had a wife, a family and a home.

Everything I'd lost.

When I felt myself turning back into the asshole; I would look for Abydos in the night sky and imagine Daniel was calling me 'Jack' once more. I hoped he was happy and that more than anything kept me going that long and lonely year.

Now don’t jump the gun.

I was not in love with him or anything. I didn’t want to get in his pants, but I did...care.

You’ve no idea how excited I was at the chance to go back to Abydos; of course I had to fake the ‘couldn’t give a shit’ attitude for the sake of the brass, but boy - inside I just wanted him to speak my name out loud again.

“Hi Jack.”

Oh God! I almost pissed myself right there in front of Skaara and the boys; I had prolonged the moment that I addressed him, torturing myself, I guess. I had forgotten how much feeling he could instill in that single four-letter word. How the hell did a geeky, be-robed archaeologist manage to make me feel a better person just by speaking my name?

When SG-1 first formed I was sceptical about Daniel's abilities . If it was a choice between talking our way out of trouble or using my MP5 then I was gonna let my bullets negotiate for me. It was the Cor-ai that changed my thinking.

Daniel was so forgiving of Teal'c for what he had done to Sha'uri, so dignified and sincere. It takes a man with a huge heart and true goodness to call someone friend who had hurt him so much. I should know; I've never been strong enough to forgive myself for Charlie. A few years later I would thank God for Daniel's capacity to forgive.

Even the alternative me; who by the way sounded a bigger asshole than even me was won over. I think Daniel just wore him down. If it was a choice between getting himself killed for the greater good or putting up with a pissed off, reproachful Daniel Jackson, then getting blown to bits by a pig tail toting Teal'c must have seemed like a good deal. I often wonder what would have happened if that Jack had survived. Mounting a rescue through the mirror to save Daniel's virtue would be my guess!

Daniel was my voice and my lifeline when the Ancients knowledge was downloaded into my brain. In the end we spoke through looks and yet he still knew what I needed. When I heard him lay down the law with Hammond, "And bottom-line, Sir, what about Jack? I mean, right now I'm possibly his only hope for communicating on any kind of serious level. I can't leave him like this, and I won't." Looking back I think it was these words that made me start to fall in love with him.

When Machello swapped bodies with Daniel, my eyes were seeing a decrepit, dying old man but my ears were hearing my archaeologist and I knew which sense I was gonna go with. Thank god we got that sorted - no way was I gonna kiss a wrinkly Daniel; I have a rule about kissing men with beards unless it's Santa. I did get slightly distracted by having to share my guts with junior for a while, I mean the cramps were awful; Carter said welcome to her world, but I hadn't a clue what she was wittering on about.

Even when we argue; which we do frequently and at high volume, it makes me glad to be alive. I rile him and he snaps back with one of his clever retorts and it’s the greatest buzz, like public, private foreplay. No matter how tired or weary I feel, a 'discussion' with Daniel always makes me feel like I've popped some happy pills. We speak as we usually come...together.

I guess over the years I just stopped listening. Stopped hearing him. In the end I didn’t even try; it was too inconvenient or too scary, I'm not sure which. His voice triggered feelings I couldn’t face, so I shut him out. I was an asshole...again. I guess some things never change.

We'd had a bad six months already when we ended up on Euronda. I'd hurt Daniel, been gone when he needed me most...after Sha'uri. Although I was still completely fucking jealous of anyone he even smiled at. Finding out Ke'ra was the Destroyer of Worlds only gave me a legitimate reason to kill her.

He seemed totally oblivious to me, I hadn't the balls to tell him how I felt and I retaliated by flirting with Carter. Even now, years later, the memory of his hurt and disappointed look across the table as I told him to shut up makes me feel a complete bastard. It was frustration, pure and simple. He begged me to hear him out and I just would not listen. I ordered Carter to take him back like a naughty schoolboy. Thank God for his downright pissy obstinacy - did he care that it was him on one side and SG-1, Hammond, the SGC, the Joint Chiefs and the President on the other? Did he hell!

One David against several huge Goliaths.

You would think that near disaster would have taught me something.

I should have learned Daniel speaks and is always right.

Jack should listen and pretty much do what Daniel says.

Slight problem - Jack is a dumb fuck.

We grew further and further apart. I pushed him away and we stopped communicating. Even on missions, it seemed he was always paired with T or Carter. We didn't hang out. Why would he want to? All he got from me was snarky comments and nasty asides.

I think he just plain gave up after I killed that girl android thing. I was thinking of him but I guess it didn't come across like that, I think for Daniel it was the last straw in our friendship. I'd told him I didn't like much of what he said. Was it any wonder he chose to go with Oma?

After Daniel ascended, Teal’c confided in me that he decided to join us against Apophis because of Daniel. T had never seen someone plead to be snaked before; the anguished yet dignified certainty that Daniel displayed made him think here were allies that might help the Jaffa succeed in their fight to be free. Teal'c would often speak of Daniel, even when I...couldn't.

"I often observed," he said on one occasion. "How Danieljackson's voice was as mighty as any weapon at our disposal. It kept us alive and averted disaster on many occasions."

What could I say?

I thought of all the times I had cut off Daniel in mid flow, stopped him chattering about stuff or just plain did not listen and it was like a kick in the guts. I would have given everything then just to hear him speak my name. Over and over again I replayed the scene in the gateroom.

I would have made different choices.

Stopped him from leaving.

I would have forced that one tiny four-letter word out of my dumb fucking mouth.

"Stay."

Why the hell didn't I say it?

I was a coward.

I learned though.

The hard way.

I can't even begin to describe my feelings when I saw him in Vis Uban. Have you ever wanted to laugh and cry at the same time? Your heart begins to pound and it seems to swell into every inch of your body? I wanted to hug him in elation and smack him for scaring the crap out of me. I wanted to scream at him. Oh God, I wanted to tumble him down and kiss him senseless, pound him through the dusty floor and possess him completely. Marking him as mine, so that any future supernatural stalkers would get the message that it was strictly a two for one deal.

One pure archaeologist - thoroughly used. Plus one devious, mouthy, sarcastic, pain in the ass General.

I think it's safe to say we'd be thrown back before the glow had worn off.

As soon as he opened his mouth I knew it was him. He could have called me Pocahontas and I would have been in braids and carrying a papoose quicker than you could say Dances with Daniel if it would have made him come home with me - us.

When Mr. 'If it hasn't got a moral, save your breath', told us why they had named Daniel, Arrom, I got seriously pissed at that transcendental bitch, Oma. She could have at least dropped him naked somewhere in my general vicinity...my lap preferably.

In the following months he remembered more of his pre-ascended life, though seemingly not how much of a bastard I'd been to him.

He'd come round, have a few beers and ask me some goddam difficult questions.

"Why did I choose to ascend?"

"Did I have no-one?"

"Nothing to stay for?"

I would swallow the painful lump in my throat. "You had us, Daniel." I wanted to say he had me, but it would have been a lie.

He would fix me with his unwavering blue gaze that seemed to look into my soul and ask quietly, "Did I, Jack? Did I really?"

Even I could not tell such a barefaced lie, I would nod and refuse to meet his eyes.

One night after another ceaseless round of these questions, I completely lost it.

"I'll tell you what you had, Daniel," I was yelling at him at full Colonel volume. "You had three supposed team-mates who ignored you, disregarded your feelings or just plain forgot about you, unless one needed you to be a whipping boy for their own frustrations or one forgot to mention your invaluable contributions while getting all the plaudits..."

I took a deep, sobbing breath.

"Wallpaper, that's what you were, until you were gone and then we noticed alright, because our conscience was gone...you, Daniel. We had no voice, no soul and no fucking heart, ‘cos you left and ripped it out of us...out of me."

I was fucking crying but I didn’t care. Daniel was staring up at me from his chair as I flung myself about, his eyes the deepest, unfathomable blue as I raged on.

"Have you ever craved to hear one word from the person you love best in the Universe? Just one short, four-letter fucking word, that you have got used to hearing over and over again over the past six years, and then you don't hear it anymore, it's like a fucking black hole in here!" I thumped my chest passionately. "I would have done anything to hear it."

"Jack."

"Anything."

"Jack."

"I was only half alive."

"Jack."

"Same fucking asshole you first met."

"Jack, I love you."

"Don't be fucking stupid, Daniel. Have you listened to a word I've just said?"

He stood, came up close to me and regarded me gravely. He snaked out a hand and cradled my face, his thumb absently brushing away a stray tear from my cheek.

"Yes, Jack," he whispered. "I heard you say you love me and need me. I need you too, I think it's why I came back."

"I'm so sorry, Daniel, I didn't buy a fucking clue till' you were gone."

"Shhhhh. That is over...but this...this is beginning. Now."

He leaned in and pressed our lips together for an all too brief moment. He stood back and sorta savoured the taste of me and then he launched himself at my mouth, devouring it with hungry kisses. I think it's possible I went all glowy myself for a few minutes.

We went to bed, but not for hot sex, that...came later. We simply held each other and every so often Daniel would whisper, "Jack."

It was the best night of my life.

If anyone remarked on the sudden change in my demeanour they wisely kept silent. I mean it's freakin’ hard to hide the fact you are so goddam happy; apparently I was smiling...a lot. It made people at the mountain nervous. Carter began to ask what I was doing to my skin; I think I heard her use the word ‘radiant’!

Daniel of course was doing his usual glowing thing. It was being put down to coming back from the dead...again

I feel...safe, anchored. I know, very Ricki Lake of me but it's like I have a family again.

I feel validated.

I can fall asleep listening to Daniel chatter on about something and on rare occasions I will wake up to him still talking. My house is no longer lonely and silent; it's filled with the sounds of Daniel - pages turning, coffee brewing, fingers tapping on keys, dark mutterings when he reads some article he doesn't agree with. The sound of him in the shower is like a siren call to my libido; my dick leads me straight to the bathroom and a soapy, slippery Daniel. He complains that he used to be able to shower in five minutes and now it's more like forty-five. He hums too, he's not even aware he's doing it, but it sure makes me smile. My ears feel like they are in paradise, they soak up every single noise he makes.

Sometimes though I have to listen with my eyes. Daniel has a real problem asking for stuff for himself and I have to watch out for those signs that mean he needs something. Since we've been lovers I have added a new language to my repertoire of two – English and Bullshit...Daniel's body language!

I don't just mean the obvious ones, like the self hugging or nibbling his lips or my personal favourites, the jiggy eyebrows and the look over the top of his glasses, which make me hard as iron...don't get me started on what happens if he does them both together...I can never go to that dry cleaner again. It's the barely noticeable signs that he needs something, only I get to notice those and read Daniel fluently.

There's the tell-tale flare of his pupils when he sees something he really, really wants. I'd like to say it was always me, but even I'm not that self deluded Usually it's his first morning cup of coffee or sometimes one of his artefacts and he really has a thing for drinking cold wine in a hot bath served by yours truly, preferably naked.

The way his eyes shimmer when something affects him and boy does it! I've never met anyone who feels stuff as deeply as Daniel. I can hug the crap out of him and help him deal with the fact that he can't single handedly make the world a better place, even though he tries his damndest.

Or the way he casually 'forgets' to button up his jeans when I'm watching the game on TV and then decides he's lost something down the back of the couch and go figure - he's forgotten his underwear too. I've not seen a match in its entirety all season.

Or the way he glances at me from under the tilt of his boonie as he makes his way up the ramp to the event horizon. It maybe lasts three seconds, but everything he needs to say is in his eyes. He does not have to utter a word.

Or the way his eyes glitter and his lips glisten just as he's about to come. His heartbeat jumps through his chest, jerking and hitching against me as our ragged breaths intermingle.

Or his drowsy, dreamy eyes and satiated and positively sinful smile he has after he comes, though it's not as wide as mine obviously.

Or the different inflections to he can add to "Jack."

"Jack!" - Don't be an ass.

"Jack!" - I'm gonna come.

"JACK!” - You're about to be filleted and I'm a tad concerned.

"Jack?" - I've been unconscious, drugged, mad or dead, (delete as appropriate) and you'd better be at my bedside.

"Jack!" - You'd better have a damn good explanation for breaking that artefact.

"Jack." - I want you.

"Jack."- I love you.

"JACK!" - If you are not flat on your back waving your legs in the air in the next five seconds, you will be sleeping on the couch for a month!

Now I'm the main man at the SGC, we have to deal with our more frequent separations. Not just Daniel's off-world trips, but my new duties which take me to our nation’s capital quite often...unfortunately.

Hard as it will be to believe, there is an upside to our being parted. My linguist is a genius at aural sex.

Imagine me in a soul-less hotel room, lying on a lonely bed, wishing I were back home cuddling up to a six-foot limpet.

My mobile rings. The caller display shows - Home.

"Hello?"

A sultry, breathy whisper answers.

"Hey, Jack. Are you missing me? I'm missing you."

I gulp. "You are?"

“I'm lying on the rug in front of a log fire. It's warm, much too warm for clothes. I'm completely naked, Jack."

Oh God.

"I’m dreaming you're here with me Jack, lying on the rug beside me. I'm undoing the buttons of your 501's, one by one and now I'm slipping my hand inside the open crotch, there's not much room, it's a tight squeeze."

Oh. My. God. His hushed tone is filled with filthy innuendo; it’s in my ear and blazing a trail straight down to my throbbing dick.

"The lights are low. The heat from the flames are licking at your skin, you tell me they feel like my mouth, Jack. Like my hot tongue prickling over your body, sending thrills of anticipation to all your nerve endings."

"Daniel," I gasp. My hand by it's own volition is stroking over my chest.

"I've pushed up your sweater and now I am sucking one of your nipples. It's so sensitive to my rasping tongue. You are arching off the rug and into my mouth, but I push you back down as I nip at its neglected twin. Mmmm it's so hot, I can feel it swelling between my teeth."

My hand swirls lower over my belly.

"I'm straddling you now, Jack. I gaze into your eyes as I bring your hand to my mouth and insert your fingers into my mouth. You taste so fucking good."

The phone is slack in my sweaty palm and my other hand is inside my pants, gripping my aching cock.

"I'm rocking back now, Jack, until our hard dicks meet and I reach down and fondle them both gently. Even with my long fingers I can hardly fit my hand around both of us, as I massage them and stroke them together, my firm grip not faltering as I begin a smooth, steady rhythm."

The low, sensuous voice washes over me and even though it's my hand on my dick, I'm caught up in the fantasy that Daniel is so expertly weaving.

"Our dicks are leaking now; the air is filled with our scent, its so musky, so very masculine and my hand is slipping and sliding all the way down so that my fingers tangle in the silvery curls at your groin and my thumb is bouncing your balls up and down. They are so heavy, incredibly sexy. You're groaning Jack, you love what I'm doing to you."

He's right, I am groaning, I hope to god this is a fucking secure line!

"My other hand is clutching the shoulder of your sweater and I yank you up. I'm writhing in your lap, but we are face to face."

"Mouth to mouth."

"Heart to heart."

"Cock to cock."

"No top. No bottom, just two men loving each other and having fucking great sex."

"Oh god, Daniel." I'm so close. I'm moaning in delicious agony.

"You are so close, Jack. Your head is flung back as I squeeze our dicks together time and time again. I can feel you Jack, feel you beginning to climax, you are trying to resist, but I'm not letting up and you can’t stop it.”

Fuck! I can't!

"DANIEL!"

“GOD...JACK!”

I'm spattering come all over my hand, my stomach and the bed.

Fuck. Daniel's voice should have a government health warning.

"We've fallen to the rug in a sticky, sated heap. We can’t move and the tremors still rock our bodies, shivering over our skin. You are on me and I am on you."

He'd better not be trying again, he'll kill me and I'm pretty sure the hotel bed won't be able to take it.

You see there are...compensations to being apart.

I smile reminiscently in the darkness as I turn my head to catch sight of my sleeping lover.

I'm the main man, surely I can schedule only day trips for SG-1 for a while? A happy, sexually fullfilled General will lead to a happy, relaxed SGC. I begin to doze on this promising thought, only to be jerked awake by the lump in bed with me restlessly burrowing into my side.

"Jaaaaack."

My smile widens, I recognise that plaintive, needy tone.

Suddenly, a body hurls itself on top of me and a coaxing hand trails over my chest and down under the waistband of my sweats.

"Jack."

Yes Daniel, I love you too.

Finis

Author's Note: Thanks for reading:-)