Through The Wire 2

The Reprieve

by Ravenschild

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asr/ravenschild/wire02.php
Summary: Danny has been trapped on an alien world after submitting to the aliens, can this really be escape?

Have you ever woken from a dream and prayed that it was the truth. That in the dream you had everything you ever wanted and felt safe and warm and loved? And that you just never wanted to wake up. That it was a dream you'd keep safely hidden and cherished in the little treasure box every kid has poked in the back of his drawer. You know the one, its got the old photo of your parents in it, and a card and a picture you drew and maybe one of your dog and well in mine is their wedding rings, its not a lot but I've kept it safe and hidden. This dream will go into that box. See in this dream I'm actually alive and going home.

That the zat guns behind me and staff weapons firing over my head are predestined to miss and that the warm arms waiting for me are of one particular Colonel and I know I'm home.

Then there are the other dreams.

The ones I don't want to keep. The ones that sear into my soul even now, God knows how long I've been here, and I know that SCG will keep searching. If I know Sam she will continue to her dying breath, just like I looked for Sha're. I just hope there will be enough of me left for them to rescue.

How did this happen? I don't remember, maybe it was another dream. But since I can remember it in detail I doubt it, it doesn't have that same dream like quality I would expect. Of course I could be over-analysing the situation and really that might not be good, but then if I do I don't feel the pain. Did I mention that? No? It's not important really just like I wasn't. Still am not. So why do I hope they'll keep looking for me? Hey, everyone has to believe in something don't they? Well??? Don't they?

I saw something in Jack's eyes that made me stop and think for a moment that my decision was foolishness, that I would be missed. But then they pulled us away and into the rings and I saw he was safe and that is the best I could hope for. I really don't matter and it's okay. I never thought it would be okay but it is. They got away, they survived, they made it and I know in my heart that that is the truth.

Hathor tried her mind-bending techniques before and I must admit to a momentary lapse of reason. You know sometimes sanity takes time out on me and I don't see things. I'm trained to observe, that's what archaeology is all about, we see things, draw the parallels and the lines and know where and when we are. But not this time. I knew what they wanted, and I knew that Jack would demand we all go and truthfully this time I saw no way we could all come back alive. So as the most expendable member of the team I went.

The Go'aulds had launched an offensive attack against that tiny green world we gated to. Good natives, bad Shaman, I'm sure you know the story. God arrives and demands his tithe. And with it the Tauri he knows are there. And I went. The sacrificial lamb to the altar of their Gods.

Instead of being selected to be host, however, they had some other ideas. This system lord wants an effective drug to be used against the Tauri, seems our resistance is strong, so lucky me, I got to be the lab rat.

So far as I can tell it's a hallucinogenic which lowers the defences enough to allow them to control us through autosuggestion. Maybe I should just tell them that through the cold war it was called brainwashing. But noooo! Controlling our tiny minds is not what they want; it's the whole shebang! They want us to actually feel the pain, to relive it in our dreams, to believe without doubt that we are doing what they want us to do. There is a theory here; it would seem to me, that the Go'auld lava is not as capable of controlling the hosts as they once were. Like any disease we are able to combat the situation, able to build up a resistance that we can use to our advantage. I think they need to suppress the host with a drug controlled to give them an almost euphoric existence so they don't control the host completely and can therefore not expend the energy required. Either that or its sophomoric which again will make us believe we are traipsing the Elysium Fields when in fact we are killing our best friend.

Did I mention that was one of the dreams they gave me? Jack on his knees before me as I watched helplessly with a gun in his mouth and you can guess the rest. I've used the only technique I know of that confounds them totally. Since they can tap directly into my memory and enhance their morbid fascination of what we are as a species, it's of little point but at least it makes me feel like I'm partially in control.

I'm babbling, well no surprise there. Jack would say something along the lines of Ya think? But no when they ask me questions on the Tauri, what our defences are, how the base operates when they need direct answers I give them to them. I can't fight against the pain they inflict so I answer them truthfully. Only it's usually not in a language they can understand. Or several languages they cant understand, so there. Juvenile? Probably. Satisfying?? Definitely. Painful? Always. But at least I believe I'm in control.

Which in a strange sort of way brings me back here, to where this dream is taking me. See I'm not even totally convinced I'm not already a host, that this dream is a dream or reality, I'm so confused but since in this one I haven't killed anyone I care about, or destroyed anything I hold dear and am actually not feeling any real pain, then I guess I'd like to keep this one, thanks all the same. Having tried before I buy and all that crap this one is definitely up there with the take home variety.

In this one, I've actually managed to escape from the lab. Was hard and I got a few more zat blasts than I know what to do with. And I'm not all that quick on my feet at the moment. The pain of course would have a lot to do with that and I'm tired. So damned tired, I can't remember them feeding me come to think of it, so maybe it's that. And I've got blood all over my nice white lab coat; see they didn't dress this rat. I had to borrow a coat and the blood all over the arms by the looks of it is mine. They sting a bit, but at least in this dream I've made it to the DHD and have started the dial in sequence.

Next question, I need to go through without a GDO, sooooo big choice, I dial earth and pray they let me in. Nope, don't think so bug on a windshield. Or I stay here and let them beat me up a bit more and give me more of their drugs till I can't survive and die. Oh big choice, huge really. Not. I think bug-on-a-windshield works better for me how bout you? Quick death escaping and dieing on the event horizon a hairs breath from home is better than dieing here cold and alone and sometime in the future with the in between time looking rather grim.

Oh Jack, I can't help it anymore. I really don't want to stay here and all I want right now is to hear you laugh and call me your stupid pet names and know I'm safe. For a moment, please lord just for a moment before I die, let me know I'm safe and worth something..

Have to move, they're coming.

Next: The Looking Glass