Through The Wire 6

In The Shadows

by Ravenschild

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/asr/ravenschild/wire06.php
Summary: Daniel is back and out of hospital but he still cannot beleive he's made it home or that this life is real. Can Jack snap him back to them or is this the end of SG1?

Under the veil of confusion Daniel puttered around the SGC. Teal'c watched his young friend from a distance, the proud warriors heart constricting as he saw the utter desolation in DanielJackson's normally expressive blue eyes. Saw the stoop to the broad shoulders that grew daily and saw the fear that lurked deep within the psyche of the man replacing the joy and courage that once radiated outwards. It was a sharp contrast to the man he was yet still he managed a weak grin as people walked passed him. Pretending that all was well.

He hid. There was no other way to describe it, he was hiding and deep inside where it mattered the most Daniel was dying. Teal'c had stayed his breath and his hand for too long and folly being the mother of need did what he would not normally do. He interfered with clear knowledge and understanding of the Tauri.

"O'Neill." Teal'c announced as he flung open the Colonel's door, not waiting for a response. "I will speak to you." The massive jaw clenched in barely concealed rage, yet Jack knew it was directed inwards and his stomach crawled trying to escape the awful truth before he was forced to face it.

"Sure." Jack squinted up at the face that loomed over him and put the mask back into place, certain that something life shattering was about to take place. "About?" O'Neill prompted.

"Daniel Jackson."

"Ah." Jack shuffled the papers across his desk and sat back waiting for the Jaffa to make his point or stick it to him, either way he felt the impending doom settle around him.

"He has been back with us now for nearly nine weeks."

"Yes."

"Does it not strike you as odd O'Neill that he has not left this base?"

So he wasn't the only one to have seen, to notice that Danny was hiding again. Janet had counselled that he needed time to adapt and to process the information. And in that he was ordered to give the young man some space. Jack was beginning to regret that decision, clearly it was not space he needed, but then having an overbearing, protective, man all over you probably wasn't what he needed either.

"I see that it does, and despite the knowledge that Dr.Frasier has requested we allow Daniel to make this journey in his own time, there is no point if what he is choosing is the cost of his life." Teal'c pursued relentlessly. "If you do not do something to bring Daniel back to us O'Neill I shall ask the General permission to take him to the Land of Light where my family will heal him."

"Where you will heal him." Jack challenged.

"Yes O'Neill. Daniel requires all that you are prepared to give yet withhold. He needs to feel safe and loved, and to understand unity. He has lost that and if you will not give it to him, then I will."

"Point taken." Jack stood up and clenched his hands. "But I assure you Teal'c I won't give you that opportunity."

"It is well O'Neill that we are friends." The big man said as he turned for the door and O'Neill shuddered. He knew the rest of the quote by heart; otherwise I would be forced to kill you.

Jack paced, stoped briefly in his restless orbit of the tiny room to stare at the small-framed photo of his son and his heart clenched. He hadn't been able to save Charlie, rationally he knew that it was a moment, a single shattering moment that cost him his son, his wife, his will to live and his life. He was prepared, more than prepared to die on Abydos the first time and then he looked into those eyes and was lost. He knew it was pointless trying to fight it, or analyse it or even come to a rational explanation but when he stepped through the gate and left Daniel behind that first time his soul ached. It was only then that he realised that it did because he had for a faint few seconds felt his soul live again. Every time he looked on that face, every time it hurt, every time it smiled or frowned or was just Daniel, Jack felt it in his heart. Teal'c was right, he'd been a coward and now was not the time to be faint hearted he had things to do.

"General Hammond." He requested down the phone line.

"Yes Colonel?"

"I need to see you sir, I'm on my way up." No retreat, no surrender and for the first time in a long time he felt the adrenaline surge at the monumental stupidity he was about to embark upon. And it felt damned good.

"Sir." Jack opened the door after a cursory knock and flung himself haphazard into the chair. "I have a request of a somewhat personal nature and it involves Daniel."

Hammond sat down, he wondered at the depth of the friendship and knew that the letter on his table had concerned him all morning. He was still formulating a plan and now it appeared one presented itself to him.

"Go on."

"I want to take some leave Sir and I want to take Daniel with me."

"You're aware of this then?" Hammond pushed the letter forward across the desk and Jack frowned.

Neat, ordered, crisp, clean and almost impossibly perfect wording that made Jack's world spin out of orbit. Daniel requested a permanent transfer to the base, that he did not wish to continue in his current position with SG1 and if this were unacceptable to the General then he would respectfully tender his resignation.

"Have you given him an answer?" Jack sat forward his elbows resting on his knees.

"No I haven't. It arrived with his last report and I haven't had a chance to talk to him. Dr Jackson is a tremendous asset to the programme, as you well know Jack. The thought of breaking up SG1 leaves me cold, but you have worked with other specialists before, so no doubt one could be assigned."

"With all due respect sir, if Daniel goes then so do I."

"You want to run that by me again son?"

"Yes sir." Jack drew a deep breath. "SG1 without Daniel wouldn't be SG1. Unlike the rest of the teams sir we're a family, if you take our heart from us then the rest is a military command without a conscience. And I cannot knowingly lead a team in that regard."

"You'd retire?"

"Yes sir, I would."

"How much time do you need and what is it you want from me?"

"A moment without censure." Jack asked softly.

"Your affection for Daniel has not gone unnoticed Jack. There is not a soul I know who has spent time in his company that does not feel the same, I'm just not sure what it is that you want from me."

"Daniel is hiding sir. He hasn't been off base; he hasn't been outside to my knowledge since he limped back through the ramp. I want to take him home. Make him realise that this isn't an illusion and that he isn't alone, and if that means taking our friendship to a different level than so be it."

"I see. Officially I cannot condone or accept knowledge of such an admission. And this decision of yours is no doubt fraught with danger for your career. However," The general softened his smile and folded Daniel's letter into the drawer. "Personally, I can't say I'm surprised."

"Thank you." Jack stood up. "Permission to leave sir?"

"Yes, and Jack." Hammond called. "Bring our boy back."

"Yes sir." Jack ripped off a crisp salute and left the office almost running. One down, two to go, Jack thought as he rounded the corner to the infirmary.

Janet repined her dark hair as she read the charts. A half eaten sandwich on the table and a cup of, if Jack was correct after seeing the grimace, cold coffee lay within hands reach. He knocked politely and waited till she looked up and beckoned him into her cluttered office.

"Sir?"

"At ease Doc, I'm going on leave. Have a problem though thought you might help me with."

"Daniel."

"Yeah, Daniel. I want to take him with me."

"With you?"

"The General has cleared it, I just want to know if there is any medication I need to know about, you know freaky stuff he may go through, same old same old."

"Have you asked Daniel?" Ah so the Doctor was not about to give in as easily as Uncle George, never mind, he had a contingency plan.

"Not yet, don't intend to either."

"Sir?" her voice grew alarmed as she studied the older man, wondering if gate travel had finally made him take permanent leave of his senses.

"Look Janet, truth is if I give Danny a choice he'll book and tell me he has too much to do. He's not looking so good and I thought he needed some sun and fresh air and well, maybe he needs to feel like a human again."

"Well I can't dispute that getting him off base would be a good thing. Nevertheless, I hope you know what your doing."

"I have no clue, but I thought that you would kinda back me up on this. He's grey Janet, and his eyes have you seen his eyes?" Jack shook his head. "He's dying on me and I've gotta do something. No matter how deranged it might sound." She flinched, gothcha, he thought, overprotective, damn he had nothing on Janet Frasier where Daniel was concerned.

"Your place?"

"Well for the first few days and then I thought maybe I could take him out to the Lake or even just lots of drives in the country."

"And coffee." Janet smiled. "But you take the cell and you put me on speed dial, you got that Colonel?"

"First hint of trouble." Jack put his hand over his heart. "I swear, any meds?"

"Mild sleeping tablets and you've got to make sure he eats. Real food Jack."

"Hey Pizza is a food group." O'Neill protested as he stood up.

"Okay, so how do you expect to manage this coup?"

"Tactics." Jack winked and pocketed the small bottles of medication Janet had placed on the desk.

~~~~)0(~~~~

Major Carter wasn't sure what bothered her more, the fact that Daniel was right all the time or that he was damned right all the time. She scowled at the hapless piece of paper containing the latest translation and keyed the sequence into the power board. Five months she'd tried to get the damned thing they found off world to boot up and now, within minutes Daniel had uncovered the mystery and delivered it to her personally, not waiting around to see if it worked.

That bothered her too. Daniel treated her like she wasn't real, and she guessed he was still processing the information, but it was the naked fear that made her shudder.

"Oh sorry Colonel I thought you were Daniel." Carter blushed as she turned around into the solid bulk.

"Really?" He drawled sarcastically and stepped back.

"He was just here, and dropped these off."

"Ah so he got you're dohickey thing working." Jack poked a few buttons knowing full well it would infuriate the Major and was gently ushered away.

"Was there something you wanted sir?" Carter asked.

"Actually yes, I have an assignment for you."

"Assignment? I understood we were on stand down till Daniel was okay again."

"That might be a long time Sam." Jack sat down and looked up.

"Oh Lord he's not resigning is he?"

"In a way, the General got a letter from Daniel saying he wasn't prepared to go through the gate again and that he wanted a permanent assignment to the base or he'd resign."

Sam sat down heavily as if the wind had been knocked out of her. "I didn't know sir, he hasn't really talked a lot to me since he came back."

"Or anyone, its okay Sam." Jack patted her awkwardly on the shoulder.

"You've got a plan?"

"The beginnings of one, actually I have no idea what I'm doing, but this Daniel needs space crap is crap. He's retreating further and he's so fucking grateful for anything normal that it hurts. I want to kill them Sam, I want to find them and kill them." Sam understood the quiet rage in the Colonel and nodded.

"I know sir, we all do. Half the base doesn't know what to do to help him and fight the urge to hug him, the other half want to hurt the people who did this to him. And then these those of us who want to hurt them and resurrect them and keep hurting them slowly for eternity." Sam balled her hand into a fist and looked up.

"I also know that if I'm to get Daniel to face getting well he won't do it willingly Sam. I'm going to need help with a little subterfuge."

Sam smiled and looked up. "You've got a plan?"

"Yeah well first we've gotta move him from the base."

"He's not likely to go outside anytime soon. Janet and I were talking about it last night."

"Really?" Jack drawled slowly and took a long look at his 2IC.

Sam blushed.

"I see." Jack continued smoothly. " And I agree, but the best way to show him this is reality is to force him to accept he's at home yes?"

"Yes." Sam answered slowly.

"So officially I've resigned my commission and the General is giving me three weeks leave to change my mind."

"Holy Shit." Sam stood up and paced. "The consequences last time you pulled this Colonel were not pleasant."

"Got any other ideas?"

"Actually no, I don't, but you think Daniel will bite?"

"Oh I'm sure of it. No one can do righteous indignation like our Danny. Besides by the time he's finished chewing me out about not saying goodbye we'll be in the car park."

"So what do you want me to do?"

"Grab Teal'c and get a rumour going, a couple of SF's with boxes coming to my office should be enough. Make sure Danny is in the corridor."

"You haven't really resigned have you sir?"

"Officially not yet, but if Danny goes Sam."

Carter stood up and wrapped her arms around O'Neill her head buried against his broad shoulder as she stepped back and wiped tears from her eyes.

"I'll go too sir, if you two go. I have no desire to serve under a different command."

"Hopefully it won't come to that. Scoot, you've got a rumour mill to start."

"Sir, yes sir." She saluted and then ducked back to kiss him on the cheek with a shy smile.

~~~)0(~~~

Jack nodded with evident satisfaction as the gristmill worked overtime. Small groups of people twittered in corners, and he smirked even a few of the nursing and secretarial staff had a sniffle. But the coupe de grace was Sam. She'd not only managed to unearth Daniel from his pile of books but her timing was impeccable. Just as two SF's entered his office with boxes and he bellowed an order as he barged passed with a box heavily laden with obviously personal possessions.

He stopped for a moment, took in the surprised and now he thought about it angry look on Daniel's face and put his head down and walked away. Not a word was said and Daniel stood transfixed by the sight for what seemed like eternity. He rounded the corner and stooped against a wall, even the glare was still hot on his back and he had to stifle a sob.

Hammond had outdone himself, and his co-conspirators were worthy of any Go'auld attack in sheer deviousness and strategy.

The way they conducted themselves left little doubt if any in the minds of those around them that he was in fact leaving, and from time to time Jack had to stop and remember it was, for the moment, a charade to force Daniel to believe this was real.

He wasn't surprised as the final box was being packed to turn and find Daniel standing in the doorway of his office. His long arms wrapped around his torso and his feet braced apart.

"What's going on?" Even the tone for the first time in months was Daniel, a very pissy Daniel and Jack hid his smile.

"Thought that would have been obvious." Jack snapped back.

"Running out again Jack?" Daniel stalked into the room and crowded the small space.

"No that's more your line Daniel." Jack knew the barb would hit home and Daniel winced as Jack pushed passed him, arms carefully laden with boxes.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Daniels voice was quiet dipping almost into the lethal range and Jack could sense the impending danger.

"Look." Jack turned in the hall just scant inches from the lift as he balanced the boxes on his knee and punched the elevator button. "You got kidnapped, you got hurt, and I'm sorry, we're all sorry but Daniel life goes on and if I'm not gating I'm not on the team. So," Jack stepped into the elevator and unconsciously Daniel followed his rage blocking out his higher senses. Jack hid a tiny leap for joy 'That's it Danny, just keep coming'. "I'm not spending the rest of my time training snot nosed kids on fifteen mile hikes nor am I going to spread my butt on a seat and do anymore freaking paperwork than I have to."

"So that's it? You're just up and leaving?" Daniels voice was soft gravel over his anger and Jack all but charged out the lift and through the security team to his truck with Daniel in tow.

"Yep that's about the size of it Danny."

"You weren't even going to say goodbye?" Ah there it was the tiny hurt that wounded Jack's very soul and still he kept his face and voice neutral and passive.

"Actually no I wasn't. I'm not much on sentiment remember?"

"I thought we were friends." Daniel leaned against the truck as he watched Jack dump the last of the boxes and cover them over with a tarp.

"Now there you go bringing emotion into this. Daniel we worked together and we were friends, but lately you don't even believe I'm real so where would be the point?"

"You were abandoning me?" Daniel accused.

"According to you I'm not real Danny how can I abandon you?" Jack dropped his glasses down onto his nose.

Daniel looked ready to crumple; his face and body sagged with the pain in his heart as he looked around despairingly.

"No." was the only word that he could form as Jack steadied him with a warm hand.

"Get in Danny." The tone was soft and gentle as Jack opened the car door.

"What?"

"Get into the car Daniel."

"Why?" unable to form complex sentence structure Daniel stuck to the basics as he felt the sun warm his back.

"Because I am real, and you're real and we need to make you remember what it's like to live again."

"Real? But you're leaving me." A tear streaked the thin features.

"No. I'm taking you home." Jack gathered his friend into his arms and steered him to sit down in the truck.

"Real?" Daniel blanked. Jack had no other word for it, the thin body began to shiver as Jack wrapped a sun-warmed blanket around his friend and belted him in. Tears leaked uncontrollably down his face and misted his glasses and still no sound came, no wracking sobs, no noise and it was the silence that disconcerted Jack. For a moment he thought he'd gone too far, that instead of bringing his friend home he pushed him further into himself and away from them.

For Daniel reality blanked on him. He expected, he didn't know what to expect, that was the problem, and subtle things from the other nightmare existences that kept him hoping this was real invaded his mind. A word out of character, a moment suspended in time, a scent, a sound and heartbeat away from taking the plunge and he cringed like the craven coward he feared himself to be and in all of that he knew. Lord he knew, that he truly was home, and hope flooded him, breaking the dam of emotions and the barriers he'd fought to keep up for so long.

He was tired, so very tired, and nothing seemed to make any sense. Only the soft vibration of the car, the keen of the engine as it revved and the warmth, of all the things that he missed it was the sun, nothing ever made him feel warm. He turned his face out the window as his fingers automatically tuned the radio to his favourite station and he rested. For the first time in the eternity of this pain, he rested and felt at peace.

"Daniel?" Jack ventured softly some time later as they made it into town.

"Hmm?"

"You okay?" there was real concern in Jack's voice and he knew that was real as well.

"Better." Daniel turned to face the Colonel, his thin fingers brushing the Colonel's wrist as it rested on the gear stick. And the smile, Jack's heart stopped when he stared into the huge blue eyes and started again at the simple contact. In the middle of afternoon traffic Jack O'Neill hard arsed black ops trained Colonel reached his hand up to cup the beloved features of his friend and found his own face streaked with tears.

Next: Steel