And You Can Tell Everybody That This Is Your Song

by Sage

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/ass/sage/ursong.php
Summary: Jack sings a little song

I. Wooed (Late Friday Night)

It's twenty degrees hotter on stage than it is down there. Has to be. Twenty at least. It's got to be at least eighty up here. Ninety. A hundred degrees. It has absolutely nothing to do with the five beers he's sucked down like a fiend in the last half hour. Nothing at all

Maybe he could ask them to turn down the stage lights a little. Does it have to be so bright and public?

Jack is kind of boiling in his own juices.

Not too late to change songs. Go for something safe. Something disco related. Heat of the night, Hot Stuff, anything. Think poofy hair and bellbottoms and it'll all be okay. Sam will howl and snicker and Teal'c will raise his eyebrow and Daniel make uncomfortable faces. And the status quo will be maintained and he'll never and with the banner year - hell banner decade - he's had, Daniel will go and get himself all incorporeal again and Jack will have stood up on this stupid hot stage sweating his balls off for nothing.

He's a General, after all. He can do anything he wants. Within reason - says Carter.

It's just that this is a thing that's so, so, *so* far beyond reason. There's no clever metaphor. Reason is a thousand light years to the left of this.

Maybe he should've joined Teal'c, Sam and Daniel in singing "We are the Champions".

This doesn't feel good. Jack has no idea why he's doing it.

It's so damn hot on this stage.

And there's a cold beer in his hands.

Yes to the beer. No to the feelings.

"Come on Jack, don't chicken out!" Daniel cat calls. Sam whistles.

Oh, yeah. Now he remembers.

Yes to the beer. No to the feelings. At which point he realizes he's totally out of beer. Which just leaves the feelings.

That's karaoke for you.

Jack fumbles with the mike to say something before he nods to the guy to start playing his song.

"I'd like to dedicate to this to one of my very best friends who I love very much and still love. This is for you."

Then silence. He doesn't look at his team yet. He nods to the guy at the tape machine thingy. The mike crackles.

The song starts playing. It doesn't sound like he remembers, but then again, there was an actual piano in this song and not some cheesy synthesizer.

And starts to sing with a voice he wasn't entirely sure a minute ago he actually had.

His entire team sits still and is listening. He can't tell if they're impressed or horrified or just drunk. And right after the first verse, he really starts to feel the song.

He remembers why he picked it. He remembers what he's trying to do.

And he takes the opportunity to look at Teal'c and think that if this goes wrong, it's all his fault and he'll never forgive the big guy. Well, at least until the hangover tomorrow wears off.

But that's way off and he's not even through the chorus and this might just work. He hasn't looked at anyone but Teal'c yet, so he can't tell.

II. Eye Catching (Mid Monday Afternoon)

"I think in celebration of SamanthaCarter's promotion, we should visit a karaoke bar," Teal'c said. "I have never been to one and have always wished to."

Sam, Daniel, and Jack all looked at each other and wondered how they'd failed to introduce Teal'c to this truly horrible and embarrassing Earth place.

Sam was definitely amused even if she was only half paying attention. It was Monday and hey, she'd spent a whole day and a half away from work. It wasn't fair to expect her to abandon physics any longer.

"All this time and you've never karaoke'd. We have truly failed you, T," Jack said, staring down at a model atom on the table. He picked it up. "You know, Carter, you could get new shoes."

Sam looked up from her laptop and blinked. "Sir?"

"You have your own little foot massager thingie. Just wondering if it's because your shoes are uncomfortable."

Sam frowned. "Sir, that's a molecule, not a foot massager."

Jack nodded and said, quietly, "Shame."

"What made you think of karaoke?" asked Daniel, sipping coffee.

"My recent perusal of music stores. There are sections of music devoted entirely to this practice," said Teal'c, sagely.

"It's not really a practice. It's just for fun," Daniel told him. "So did you have a certain song in mind you wanted to sing?"

Teal'c paused for a moment. "Indeed."

Daniel brought his coffee up to his lips, "What?"

"I believe there is a song celebrating the beauty of women that would be appropriate."

Daniel cocked his head and before drinking, asked, "Oh, really? What?"

Teal'c paused another moment, almost like he was waiting for Daniel to swallow before he said, "It is a song called 'I Like Big Butts'."

Daniel started to make coughing and choking sounds.

Sam was smiling like the bastard child of the Cheshire Cat and Jack for the most part was just staring.

Daniel kept coughing. "Lungs. Coffee. Not good. Maybe I should go do actual work now."

Daniel coughed some more and left. Jack sighed.

"Great. Three days on the job and I've broken the one scientist around here who speaks my language," Jack groaned. "No offense, Carter."

"None taken, sir," Carter said. She tucked in her lips to hide a little smile that made Jack raise an eyebrow, which then made Teal'c raise an eyebrow.

Jack left Sam's lab and jogged to catch up with Daniel. He walked beside Daniel for a while without having to say anything. Or having anything to say. Depending on how he looked at it.

"So, you have anything particular you want to sing?" asked Jack.

Daniel decided against drinking coffee while discussing karaoke. He held his cup at his side. "Yeah, in case you haven't noticed from having to share tents and showers with me for oh, say, the last seven years - I'm essentially tone deaf. I could sing, but I'm a humanitarian, so it wouldn't really work out."

Jack continued to just nod. "Oh, come on, it's karaoke. Everyone's horrible. That's the point."

Daniel hit the button for the elevator and waited. "What, you're going to sing?"

"Of course. I'm a General now. I can order people to like it," Jack said, with a big grin that made him look ten years younger than the gray hair and the crows feet would suggest.

"I'm a civilian, you can't give me orders," Daniel reminded him with an even bigger grin.

"Wouldn't think of it," Jack said. "Come on, don't ruin Teal'c's fun. You know how the big guy hates to be disappointed."

Daniel sighed. "Okay, fine. But you're buying."

"Since when?"

"Since you're a General and you can *afford* it. Unlike some of us who haven't had a raise since Apophis finally died," Daniel said, as the elevator began to open.

"Yeah, well, if the Air Force paid you what you were worth they wouldn't be able to afford it," Jack said as he left.

Jack didn't look back and Daniel stood there, trying to digest the comment until he realized he was in the doorway and holding up the elevator.

III. And Won (Early Saturday Morning)

The difference between the stage and the bottom of the steps is startling. Like going from Abydos to Antarctica. It's freezing down there. And Jack is sweating which only makes it colder.

And he's out of beer.

He looks at Daniel.

Daniel looks so pissed.

Carter looks vaguely disappointed and kind of sorry for him.

Teal has flat eyebrows. Flat eyebrows are never a good sign. Flat eyebrows are the eyebrows of doom.

Jack stands in front of their table, hands in his pocket. Looking at Daniel like he did the time he accidentally put one of Daniel's artifacts in the wrong container and it ended it up being stored in open air instead of preserved and it just dissolved into nothing.

And Jack went looking for it and Daniel was with him. And Jack opened the box and there it was, something so precious to Daniel in little tiny pieces because it had just fallen apart.

And Jack looked at Daniel with the biggest frown and hell he didn't even try to joke his way out of it and Daniel was probably biting his tongue so hard that it drew blood and Jack wished like nothing else he could go back and get another one for Daniel.

He stood there with just dust in his hand, shaking his head, trying to get Daniel to understand that he would never have *meant* something like this.

Jack stands there, just like that. Only not shaking his head. Because this time, however screwed up it turns out, Jack meant it.

"I think I'll call it a night," Daniel says.

Funny how he can bite his tongue and still talk.

Daniel grabs his coat angrily off the chair. Throws some dollar bills down on their table and leaves.

Jack looks at Sam and Teal'c.

Sam looks hurt on his behalf. God bless her. Jack looks miserable with his hands in his pockets, just sort of standing there in the big mess he's made with all his good intentions and his feelings and his beer and his stupid, stupid songs.

Jack sits down and puts his forehead on his hand. He stares at his shoes.

"Congrats, Carter," he says, softly.

Sam checks her pockets.

"Sir, I think Daniel has his keys. I don't think he's safe to drive," Carter says.

Jack's head shoots up. He gets out of the chair so fast it falls over and he doesn't even look back when it crashes to the floor.

For a man who says he's got bad knees, Jack is really, really fast.

Jack barges out the door and sees Daniel going towards his car.

"Oh, no!" Jack shouts. "Step away from the vehicle."

Daniel turns around with his coat over his arm and looks confused. But he does take a step away.

"Okay. Jack?"

Daniel looks confused, which is an improvement over pissed.

"You're not really safe to drive."

"Well, the last four shots of tequila I had would've been my tipoff, but how did you figure it out?"

Jack frowns. "I was just...worried."

"Thank you. I just came out here to get my cellphone out of my car before I take a cab."

Jack nods. So he's back to being pissed. Jack turns around. He's cold and he feels bad and he wants more beer. Even watching Sam and Pete feel each other up in public has got to be better than this. Jack starts walking away. Yes to the beer. No to the feelings.

"You know, you're a real asshole sometimes!" Daniel shouts after him. Jack turns around to see Daniel standing there, one hand in his pocket, one hand holding his jacket, looking to his right at the ground.

"Hey, I know I'm a little rusty, but I didn't think it was that bad."

Daniel spastically jiggles the hand with his jacket and breathes out of his nose so hard that it actually shows up in the air as whiteness.

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't play dumb, Jack. Don't joke about this or try to get out of it. I know that you know *exactly* what I'm talking about. It wasn't fair."

"I just sang a song."

"No, it wasn't. Me, Sam, and Teal'c, we just sang a song. What you did. I don't even know what that was. It was embarrassing. It was *wrong*. God, I can't believe you." Daniel runs his hand over his face, down the stubble that's forming because he hasn't shaved.

Jack shakes his head. He stares at Daniel and suddenly doesn't recognize him with his short hair and no glasses, standing there, stubbly and crueler than Jack would've thought possible. This isn't his Daniel. This isn't his geek, his best friend, his conscious, his voice of reason, his tether. This isn't the man who drags him and pulls him and carries him across the universe because he's just that powerful. This isn't Daniel at all.

Jack doesn't really know who this is.

Maybe Oma dropped the wrong guy down on Vis Uban and it's just taken Jack this long to figure it out.

"I guess I thought you'd be the one person in the universe who'd understand," Jack mutters, taking a hard breath.

"Oh, I understand just *fine*. I understand that everything I thought you were is a *lie* and that you want what you can't have and that you're not man enough to let it go. I understand that you're not that man I thought you were."

Jack staggers. Literally. Nearly trips taking a step back.

Last time Daniel was drunk he tried making a beer bottle pyramid and then passed out on Jack's couch. Jack can't remember when Daniel became a mean drunk.

A *sadistic* drunk.

Jack can't even think. But who could with a knife through their heart, a knife the size of Daniel's words and Daniel's hatred and Daniel's seething disapproval?

And something just as mean and angry grows inside of Jack, in the hole that Daniel's cruelty is making. Something dark and terrible that makes him shout. "Good, that makes two of us. Because I didn't realize what a self-absorbed, close-minded son of a bitch you could be!"

Daniel shakes his head actually laughs, just out of sheer surprise. "Me? I'm the son of a bitch. I'm not the one wailing like disemboweled tom cat and risking not only my *own* career but the career of a person who is supposed to be one of my best *friends* just because I can't get over myself."

Fine. He wants to fight. Jack can come out swinging.

"This from the guy who was getting *bouncy* with the *Destroyer of Worlds* not a month after Sha're died!" Jack shouts back.

Daniel looks like he's just been shot. He looks so shocked. He looks hurt deep down. Like he didn't even see it coming. Well, it was his own fault. He was the one going on and on about what an asshole Jack was and hey, if he wants to swim with the sharks.

It still doesn't make Jack feel any better. Because god he wants to take that back. He needs to take that back. It wasn't fair. Sha're's a sacred thing. Jack doesn't go there, Jack doesn't touch that, Jack doesn't use that against Daniel.

But he just did. God, why did he do that? Jack prays that he's going to wake up and find out that the Asgard have beamed his brains away or that there's some offworld mind whammy at work here.

Jack is looking at the ground and then he hears Daniel snort and it sounds almost like a sob. He looks up and jesus, Daniel's crying. Just like he did when Reese got shot. Just like he did the first anniversary of Sha're's death, when it was just them, not Carter or Teal'c, back on Abydos with Sha're's father and Daniel wanted to stop crying, but he just couldn't. And Jack rubbed his back and Daniel actually put his face on Jack's arm, just before he slid down to the sand and really let go.

Daniel breathes hard. "At least I wasn't *my* weapon that killed her."

Jack physically cannot breathe.

Daniel *used* Charlie. Against him. And Daniel *knows*. Daniel was there when Jack broke down after the whole stupid crystal thing and the fake Charlie, when Jack smashed through his own window and tore his own house apart and was so angry, so blindly angry that Daniel had to restrain him. Daniel had to hold his wrists and look in his eyes and wait until Jack finally gave in and sat down on the couch and had black spots in front of his eyes and Daniel made him lie down and stayed until the morning when Jack was beginning to become human again.

Daniel understood. Daniel would never.

Daniel just did.

"You son of a bitch. At least I didn't commit suicide to get away from my own inferiority complex and just leave my friends and *everything*. And I certainly wasn't the one who got Abydos destroyed!"

Jack knows he's just cutting quick right now. Because they've both cut as deep as they can. From now on it's all for show, all flesh wounds and scratches.

"No, you're the guy who stood up on stage tonight and nearly ruined *everything* because of his own *ego*!" Daniel screams.

Jack puts his hands over his face and screams. He hates Daniel for being a damn dog with a damn bone who just cannot let anything go. God, he just *had* to come back to that. Not enough to rip Jack open. Not enough to go for the jugular.

Now comes the salting.

Must be an Ascended thing, being that calculated and that merciless.

"What do you *want* from me?" Jack screams back.

"I don't want *anything* from you. God, don't you get it? Are you *really* that stupid?"

"I must be, because I can't figure you out, Daniel. And god knows I have *tried*."

"This isn't about me."

"Then please, enlighten me, Dr. Jackson. What the *hell* is it about!"

Daniel shakes his head and says, quietly. "Can you just let her be happy? Just for moment. God, Jack, she's finally found someone and then, when we're supposed to be celebrating *her* moment, you just *had* to go and pull something like this."

Okay, maybe the Asgard really *did* beam him brain out. Or parts of it. Like the part that has any idea what Daniel means.

"What?"

"That like act in there, Jack. Okay, we get it. We get that you have a big unrequited hard-on for Sam. But embarrassing her like that. I thought you were a better man."

Ding.

The lights have all come on and what was a big scary monster, a horrible shadow of what used to be Daniel now looks like a huge misunderstanding.

Jack is happy and angry all in the same moment. And nothing less than electrified. He charges forward, pushes Daniel against the car and grabs his shirt and shakes him.

"I wasn't singing to Carter!" he screams, so much his voice nearly *cracks*. Which he himself might do any moment now. If he hasn't already. Hard to tell. He takes a deep breath, a step back and puts his hands, flat and palm up, a few inches above Daniel's chest, as if to gesture that the wave of violence has passed.

"What?"

"This has nothing to do with Carter, Daniel."

Daniel blinks. "So what did we just spend the last ten minutes screaming about?"

"That's a good question. I have no idea. But it hurt a lot."

Daniel nods. "Yeah. Look, I didn't mean."

"Hey, neither did I. We're drunk."

"Yeah, obviously," Daniel says, nodding. "I mean, we're -- drunk."

"Very."

"So if you weren't singing to Sam then -"

"Who was I singing to?"

Daniel nods. "Teal'c?"

"You."

Daniel makes an 'o' with his mouth. "Me."

"You."

Daniel starts to look worried. "Oh god, so you thought I was saying that -"

"Looked that way at the time," Jack tells him. Although he's not exactly sure which part is finally coming together in Daniel's brain. Who can tell what this man thinks at times like these?

"Oh god. So all that time and I was just going on and on."

"Hey, it's okay. We're drunk," Jack replies. It's a good cover story.

He backs away. It won't be long until Daniel realizes what Jack has *actually* done and gets pissed all over again.

Daniel grabs his shirt.

"So you -- *love* me?"

Jack nods. "Yeah. Look, I'm not - I don't *want* anything from you. The whole friendship thing, it's nice. We can do that. I can let go. Promise. No hard feelings."

Daniel shakes his head. "But you *love* me."

Jack takes Daniel's face in his hands. "Yes, Daniel. Nobody on this planet pisses me off like you do and you make me care about things that I really *don't* care about. I don't have any big words and I'm not a smart man, but I know that I can't take my eyes off you. I know that you confuse me and you make me crazy and you never stop making me want to be a better man even if I'm *not*. I know that you're everything I didn't even know I wanted until you came along."

Daniel closes his eyes. God, the way he looks when he does that. When he relaxes and lets Jack's hands stay where they are. There's no getting around it. Daniel just plain gorgeous.

"Jack."

"Yes?"

Daniel doesn't answer in words, but put pulls Jack in and leans so close that their foreheads could touch. Daniel puts his hand on the side of Jack's face and Jack just stands there, kind of frozen and wondering if it's all really happening.

"Forget everything I said. This is what I meant."

And then Daniel kisses him. They kiss for a long time. Daniel leaned back against the car and Jack's lips working his way over the landscape of Daniel's face, Daniel's throat.

Then Jack stops and just leans against Daniel.

"Kinda dizzy."

"Me, too."

Daniel slides down and sits against the door of the car. Jack slides down next to him. They breathe hard until they calm themselves.

Jack turns to Daniel and asks, "Do I really sound like a disemboweled tom cat?"

Daniel shrugs and smiles. "A bit."

IV. Sometimes, Cyrano

Teal'c gets to sing 'I Like Big Butts', but only for Carter. Most people have left and it won't be long until the bar closes. Pete joins them when his shift is done.

"You taste like liquor, young lady. Are you sure you're old enough to be drinking," Pete teases Sam.

"I dunno, you'll have to check my ID."

"Oh really?"

"I forgot where I put it. You might have to search me. Pat me down."

"Make you *assume the position*," Pete smiles deviously. Carter smiles deviously right back.

Teal'c raps the end of his song and earns applause from Carter and a weird look from Pete.

"I think I've officially seen it all."

"Well, then I guess the strip search won't be necessary."

"Woah. Let's not be hasty."

Teal'c comes off the stage, sweating and looking very satisfied.

"DanielJackson and O'Neill have not returned in quite some time."

"I think they're just fine, Teal'c."

"I concur. I think I will depart now. I hope you and PeteShanahan enjoy the rest of your evening."

"Thanks, Teal'c," Pete says.

Teal'c starts to walk away and then turns back.

"Samantha," he says, "You were aware that I, in fact, had DanielJackson's keys?"

"Yeah."

"Then why did you tell O'Neill that -"

Sam smiles and is turned towards Pete when she says, "Because I'm a very, very bad girl."

Teal'c raises an eyebrow and leaves.

- END -