Servi1XY-13 2

The Rescue

by Sideburns

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/ass/sideburns/servi02.php
Summary: The Rescue of Servi-1XY13 begins -- and consequently, the rescue of SG-1

Part 1

"Well, I'll be damned," Jacob muttered as he hovered above the island and Daniel grinned and waved from below. He shook his head in wonder.

Time to put this baby down.

~~~

"Daniel."

"Jacob. Just in the neighborhood?"

Jacob couldn't help it. He laughed outright. Only Daniel.

"I take it Sam isn't here?"

Daniel's grin faded. "God no, I'm sorry, Jacob. I'm afraid you've made a wasted trip. It's just... me. But as I understand it, Sam, Jack and Teal'c are on-"

Jacob held up a hand to stop what he knew would be a rapid-fast torrent of words. "First of all, it was hardly a wasted trip. We knew that one member of SG-1 was here on Segev, we just figured it was Sam, okay? So I came. Second, the rest of SG-1 should already be with General Hammond and aboard the Prometheus."

Daniel raised a hand and finger, his typical "but, but" gesture, forcing Jacob to say, "Tut-tut... and third, I'm very glad I was the one who came, even if you're not my daughter."

Looking sheepish, Daniel said, "I don't think I could be your daughter, Jacob."

"Good point." He draped an arm across Daniel's shoulders and said in an excellent imitation of Jack, "So, whatcha been up to?"

~~~

"So dad is on his way to Segev?"

"He is, Major Carter. He believed, as did we all, that you'd be there. I take it that... Doctor Jackson is the one who was sent to Segev?"

"Yes. Evidently, since he wasn't a soldier, he couldn't remain with us. Ticked me off, I can tell you, General."

"I can imagine it would, Colonel." Hammond took a deep breath and said, "I'm afraid the one thing we were able to learn before coming here was that Segev... was under attack."

"Well, fuck."

"Sir, I'm sure Mercs were left behind-"

"That is highly doubtful, Major Carter. We witnessed the movement of the Mercs to Amen-Tor2."

"General?" Jack said, knowing that Hammond understood what was being said.

"Yes, well, I suggest we head for Segev."

~~~

Jacob couldn't believe what he was seeing. The Bou'gan had been soundly defeated by a handful of Servi, one Merc, and one... archaeologist. He watched them move about, all clearly full of pride at their accomplishment. He did wonder at the... uniform? Many were in white, like Daniel, while others were in a similar outfit, only of a heavier material and in either brown or tan. And what the hell was with Daniel's outfit? There was practically nothing there, nothing left to the imagination.

"You are a friend of our Daniel?"

His thoughts interrupted, Jacob turned to face a young Yenaran, also in white. "Yes, yes, I am. Jacob Carter." He held out his hand.

"I am Remo." He took the offered hand and shook it happily. "We owe our lives, and now our freedom, to Daniel. I understand that he will leave us now, but please, understand all that he has done for us. When the Mercs were recalled, Major Darvet tried to take Daniel with him, but when Daniel realized that we would all be left behind without defense, he refused to go. Darvet cared enough to leave him the key to the armory. This alone is unheard of, even for an XY such as Daniel. That a Merc should care so much." Remo grinned. "Although... my Marisk stayed behind."

Jacob was thoroughly confused. An XY? Marisk? Major Darvet? He knew Daniel was on the second island helping with the power station, having refused to leave with Jacob until he was certain all was well on Segev. He decided now was as good a time as any to find out what the heck Daniel had been doing all this time.

"Where can we talk, Remo?"

~~~

"So you're saying that you... that all the men and women in white... are these Servi-1's? And that you... your job... your duties. were to... sexually... service the Mercs?"

"That is correct."

"So Daniel has had to-"

Remo ducked his head as he whispered, "Yes. I know that your world is not like ours. I know what Daniel has lost in the time he has spent with us." He raised his head almost defiantly and added, "But he is our savior and I can not pretend, in spite of all he has suffered, to be less than grateful that he was with us. He has taught us so much; you cannot begin to understand. And yes, he suffered greatly in his first weeks with us. He refused to conform and each Merc who chose him had to punish him. But then Moram arrived and told Daniel that if he would not accept his fate as a Servi-1XY, he would be sent to join his teammates and the one called... Major Carter... would take his place. From then on, Daniel became one of us. He was chosen each time the Mercs arrived on leave. Every time. Even for an XY, that is unusual. And he is not Yenaran."

Jacob could feel his stomach beginning to turn. And Selmac wasn't helping. He was pretty sure he was about to be sick. He tried to fixate on something - anything - to regain his equilibrium and the phrase "Servi-1XY" popped into his brain. With great difficulty, he asked, "XY? What is... that? You are a Servi-1, but you say Daniel was a Servi-1XY?"

"Yes. It is a great honor. Before Daniel, there were only twelve. Twelve in the entire population."

"Huh-uh, and again, what exactly is this XY?"

"There is something in the individual that calls to both sexes. This makes Daniel and all the XY very special."

"Special. Sure."

So instead of just female Mercs - Daniel had been "chosen" by male Mercs. And given all that he'd seen - more male Yenarans than female because the odds lay in that direction. More female Servi's - more male Mercs.

"Tell me the rest," Jacob said, not really sure he could handle hearing it.

~~~

Daniel was exhausted, pushed beyond his limits, but he kept going. Jacob was here, and salvation - home -- was now within his grasp.

And Jack.

He'd see Jack. Even as he worked side-by-side with three Servi-2's to get the power station back online, he felt the excitement build. Because he'd have to leave soon. Before the Mercs arrived.

"We are done. The gauge is showing full power, Daniel."

He wiped his hands and thought how odd that weeks spent without memory under a world of ice could help him here, now. He nodded at Beote and said, "Good work. I'm going to head back to the main island. Do you guys need anything?"

Beote and Nors shook their heads and waved him out with little shooing motions. He took the hint.

As he walked down to the ferry, he flexed his arm and nodded in satisfaction. The pain was there, but no worse. So no infection. He hoped. He got himself back across to the main island and headed for the Pleasure room, which had been revamped to serve as the Common room and central meeting place for the Servi while doing repairs and preparing for the arrival of reality in the form of the Mercs. He had only one bit of unfinished business, and that was to ask Remo if he could take one of the portable vids. He needed to get the writings on the tower recorded before he and Jacob left.

And speaking of Jacob. Daniel waved as the older man walked toward him from the Common room. It wasn't until he drew close that his expression registered on Daniel.

And Daniel's world froze.

Suddenly the joy of going home turned into a nightmare.

Because Jacob knew. Daniel could see the truth of it in Jacob's eyes.

When Jacob drew abreast of him, he said, "Remo just received word that a detail of Mercs are on their way here. Evidently the battle for Amen-Tor2 is going well for the Yenarans. We need to leave, Daniel. Now."

Schooling his expression, Daniel said, "I just have one more thing to do, and it won't take more than thirty minutes. I just need to get something from Remo. If you want, you can wait here-"

"No, no, whatever you need to do, I'll help. But Marisk says we only have a couple of hours and she recommends I have you out of here by the time they arrive. She seems to think they might not... let you go, no matter what agreement Forten had with SG-1."

Daniel could hear the unspoken words, the knowledge that Jacob knew how Daniel had spent his time on Segev. He chose to ignore it - for now. Instead, he said, "No problemo. Hang on a minute, let me get the vid and we'll be off."

With that, he walked toward the old destroyed Common room.

~~~

"Daniel, I know you said this was partially Ancient, but I don't recognize it. How do you know-"

Daniel was just finishing recording the last wall and without looking up, said, "It's almost like a code, the way all four languages were melded together. I'm pretty sure I can crack it and I really think it's important."

"That goes without saying. Just the question of how this got here is enough to warrant taping this."

Daniel lifted his head just as the red light blinked off. The vid was done. He turned to stare at Jacob as he said quietly, "Thank you."

Looking surprised, Jacob said, "What for?"

"For understanding why I needed to do this. No one else would have."

Jacob shrugged and said, "So, you're done?"

"Yes."

"Then let's head out and get you out of here."

"Not just yet, Jacob."

The tone stopped the man in his tracks. "What?"

"I take it you spoke with Remo about this island and the men and women on it?"

"We... talked. Yes."

"So you know." It was said as a statement of fact, not a question. Before Jacob could answer, Daniel said easily and with a smile, "I don't think there's any need for you to share that information with anyone, do you, Jacob?"

"Daniel-"

"After all, it would only... hurt... them, wouldn't it? I'm fine, it's over, and we're all going home now. I see no reason why they should have to deal with feelings of impotence and guilt, do you? Especially Sam. And you know what this could do to Jack. How he feels when he thinks he's let a team member down? Which he didn't do, but that fact has never stopped him in the past from feeling as though he had. And it tears him apart. So I'm thinking that what you learned... stays between you and me. Okay?"

Jacob was... just... he had no words. He could only stare, numb, at the young man standing in front of him.

"So we're agreed, Jacob? I need your word on this, because I've got to tell you, I don't really think I could handle them knowing and going through all that guilt for no good reason, you know? So I need you to agree to this. For them. For Jack, Teal'c, General Hammond and... Sam."

Words finally came. "Daniel, what about you? You can't just-"

"Please, this is me we're talking about. This was a cultural thing, and I understood it. Sure, I bucked it in the beginning, which surprised the hell out of me, I can tell you that. But eventually, no problem. I'm fine, Jacob, and will continue to be as long as the truth stays between you and me. Deal?"

"How do you know they don't already know, Daniel," Jacob said gently.

"They might, but I know people, and Lord Forten would never have told them the truth. While all of this," he wiggled his finger in a circle indicating the island, "is normal, he knew it wasn't to us. He knew Jack would never cooperate if he discovered the truth. He was fighting incredible odds to get the Council to listen to his plan to begin with, so me joining Jack, Sam and Teal'c was never a possibility. No, they don't know. And won't. Unless you tell them. And you know I'm right. About that... and about what the truth would do to them. So, what do you say?"

"What if I say no?" Jacob asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

Daniel swiped a hand over his face and looked around him. Finally, he said, "Well, these people need help. They're on the road to a new way of life and I could be of help here." He looked back at Jacob. "I think I'd have to remain. Because to be honest, I don't think I could face them - knowing that they knew. Couldn't face having to deal with their guilt every time they looked at me. It would probably bring an end to the SG-1 as we know it. So to answer your question, and no, it's not a threat, just a fact, I'd stay here."

"Aren't you forgetting what will happen when you get home? You know that all four of you will have to undergo-"

"I know. And I'll take care of it. Now I'm betting that they already think I've spent the last three months plus in some museum or library or something like that. So that's what they're going to hear. I'll make something up."

Of that, Jacob had no doubt. "And the battle?"

Daniel gave a little snort. "The Servi's won, not me. I was just along for the ride."

That wasn't even close to the truth, but it was Daniel. To a "T". And the fact was, it would hurt Sam to hear the truth, and it would hurt Jack. And Teal'c. And it wouldn't change what Daniel had gone through, but it might make it easier for him to deal if he didn't have to worry about his friends. And ultimately, that's what made Jacob's mind up. Daniel.

"You'll seek help if you need it?" he asked, his eyes boring into Daniel's.

"I will. But I won't need it. You know me. This was a learning experience and nothing more. I'll be fine. As long as my friends-"

"You've got a deal, Daniel," Jacob interrupted. He knew damn well that Daniel wouldn't be fine, and he had every intention of hanging around once they got back home. Just in case.

The relief on Daniel's face made Jacob glad he'd chosen to honor Daniel's request. The lifted load was actually visible... and very real.

"Well, then," Daniel said with a dazzling smile, "let's get going."

~~~

"We know you must leave, and now, but Daniel, we will miss you. We owe you so much, and we can never repay you."

Daniel shook his head at Remo's words. "No, you owe me nothing. If not for you, who knows what would have happened to me. I might never have won a single game of Buno."

Jacob stood next to the glider, watching the men and women of this small planet gather around Daniel. He remembered Sam telling him about Abydos and the first mission, and how the Abydonians had gathered around Daniel to hold and hug him, some content to simply touch him as they said their goodbyes. She'd been stunned by the depth of love the Abydonians had for Daniel, and now Jacob was seeing the same incredible show of affection. The Servi's of Segev were grateful to Daniel, but there was something more. Much more. He'd touched them and in doing so, had changed them forever.

Jacob had a feeling that the worlds of the Yenar would never be the same again, thanks to all of SG-1.

"Daniel, we need to go," he reminded, and hating the need to do so.

The hugs followed and finally the Servi allowed Daniel to move to the glider, the vid in his hand. He waved and climbed up behind Jacob. They both settled in as the Servi moved out of harm's way and Jacob took off.

Daniel twisted his head around and watched as Segev grew smaller and smaller.

When it was no more than a tiny blue dot, he faced forward and sighed. Behind him, a people he would always remember and cherish, but a time he could have done without - and ahead of him - home.

~~~

"Sir, we're picking up another ship."

"Is it the glider?"

There was a pause, then, "Yes, sir."

Leaning forward, worry in every line of his body, Hammond said, "Open a channel and hail her."

Lieutenant Nelson nodded and flicked a switch. "This is the Prometheus to General Carter."

//"This is General Carter. I have the renegade SG-1 member with me. You ready to take us aboard?//

Smiling, Hammond nodded to himself, sat back, relaxed, and nodded at Nelson, who said, "We're ready. Prepare to rendezvous in twenty."

//"Roger."//

Hammond flipped a switch on the arm of his command chair and said, "Jacob, you'll be happy to know that we have the rest of SG-1 and all are well and unharmed. How's our renegade?"

//"At the moment, sound asleep and serenading me with his snores.//

Hammond laughed, a genuine one, and said, "Sounds like Doctor Jackson. I'll let his team know. See you soon."

//"Roger. Carter, out."//

"Colonel Pendergast, will you take over? I'm going to give Colonel O'Neill the good news."

"My pleasure, sir."

~~~

The commissary wasn't exactly bustling with business, Jack thought as he stirred his coffee. Across from him, Sam sat and enjoyed her Jell-o, while Teal'c played with his slice of lemon meringue pie. Jack knew that until they found out about Daniel, eating wasn't something he thought he could do. And evidently, neither could Teal'c, although he was taking a stab at it - literally.

"I think the pie is dead, Teal'c," Hammond said as he walked up behind Jack.

Teal'c dropped the fork and pushed the plate away, but remained silent.

"I thought I'd come down and let you know that we'll be rendezvousing with Jacob and Daniel in about," he checked his watch, "ten minutes. If you're interested, that is."

Three sets of eyes turned to look at him. He grinned.

Jack was up so fast, his chair would have fallen over if not expertly caught by Hammond. "He's okay? Jacob's got him?"

"He's okay and snoring up a storm, I understand."

Jack nearly sagged with relief. Hammond turned the chair around and literally pushed Jack back into it. "He's fine, Jack. Our boy is fine."

"I told you, Colonel. Daniel probably gave dad grief about having to leave."

Jack just smiled.

~~~

The bay doors slid open and there was the glider, the canopy opening to reveal Jacob and. Daniel.

Daniel.

Jack couldn't seem to move. He'd been waiting for this moment for weeks -- and now that it was here - he couldn't fucking move. He watched as the two men climbed down and noticed immediately that Daniel was a mess. He was dirty, and his arm..

"Daniel, what happened," he wiggled a finger at the bandage, "there?"

Daniel paused, but then continued forward. "A bite."

"A bite." Jack repeated incredulously.

"Yep. The Bou'gan bite. Hard."

Daniel walked up to his teammates, an almost shy smile on his face. "You guys look good. Everyone all right?"

"We are fine, DanielJackson, now that you are here. We have been worried."

"I've been worried about you, too."

Jacob walked up at that point and said, "Daniel and his friends on Segev kicked some major Bou'gan butt, by the way. While you guys were trying to teach the Yenaran to fight dirty, Daniel just up and did it."

Three sets of jaws dropped to the floor.

"Jacob exaggerates. We just kind of... really, it was no big deal."

Jack closed his mouth and shook his head. Sam grinned and said, "So you and a bunch of what, scientists, teachers, and whatever, taught the Bou'gan a few lessons in Taur'i ass-kicking?"

Daniel shrugged charmingly and said, "You know us scientists, Sam. We'll teach anything, anywhere, anytime. And we'll talk everyone's ears off, which is actually how we defeated them. Their eyes just glazed over and the day was ours."

"See, sir, what did I tell you?" Sam said as she stepped forward and gingerly hugged Daniel. As she stepped away, she wrinkled her nose. "Someone needs a shower."

Daniel grimaced as Sam moved to her father and walked into his embrace. Daniel sniffed himself and shrugged helplessly, "What can I say? We had to bug out of there kind of fast, you know?"

"Yeah, so what's that?" Jack asked as he pointed to the vid in Daniel's left hand.

Still holding his daughter, Jacob said, "He just had to tape the one ruin in all of Segev before we could leave."

"Damn, you actually found one?"

Daniel nodded and, with an odd, quirky smile, said, "Big tower, secret door... and writings on the wall. In a combination of several languages that shouldn't have been there."

Sam pulled away from her father and said, "What languages?"

"Try a conglomerate of Ancient, Asgard, Nox and... Furling. On a planet that was supposedly created by the Yenar."

"Well, this is fun and all, but General Hammond is kind of looking forward to seeing you, God knows why, so how 'bout we take this somewhere else?"

"Jack, I really think I should... you know... shower first? And this get-up isn't exactly appropriate for the bridge of the Prometheus." Jack slung his arm over Daniel's shoulders and, as they walked out, Teal'c, Sam and Jacob on their heels, said, "Now, Daniel, you know the procedure. First up is a nice trip to the Infirmary. There's an MRI just waiting for you. And while there, we'll have them look at that bite. I'd hate to think of you going all rabid on us. Then you can take that much needed shower. And speaking of get-ups, just exactly what is it that you're wearing?"

Rolling his eyes, Daniel quipped, "What, you've never seen Yenaran pajamas before?"

Daniel pointedly ignored the sudden cough from Jacob.

~~~

Daniel gave out with a sigh of relief as he closed the door to his quarters. Alone at last. Wonderfully, magically alone. Which was odd. He shouldn't be feeling so happy about that considering how much, in the last three months, he'd wanted to be with his teammates. He looked around the room and slowly walked over to the bed and sat down.

Gosh, another bed. To sit on.

He rubbed his eyes, which were burning from the strain of trying, suddenly, to see so much. It was going to be nice once he had his spare set seeing normally again.

God, what a bunch of baloney he'd been handing out to his friends. But damn, he was good at tossing baloney, malarkey and manure. Had become an expert over the years.

Of course, Janet would be a bit trickier.

His recent - and brief - examination had been a breeze. He'd done the MRI, been pronounced symbiote-free, and then the Prometheus doctor, a Doctor Willard, checked his arm. He'd been stunned by the size of the teeth marks, but after a careful exam, said it seemed to be healing very well. He'd taken blood, "Just in case," he'd said, and then had allowed Daniel to leave. And now, here he was. He glanced down at his side and smiled. A uniform - blue, nicely and neatly folded, sat next to him. He was finally getting out of this damned white... thing. But shower first. He picked up the uniform and headed out and down the corridor to the showers.

Once he assured himself that he was alone in the locker room, he immediately pulled the shirt off, made a face at it, balled it up and tossed the damn thing overhand into the trash can next to the sink. He hoped sincerely that it would be burned to less than a cinder. As he started to untie the pants, he froze.

The bracelet.

He still wore it, naturally. No one to remove it back on Segev. Frowning, he realized that neither Jack, nor Sam or Teal'c had been wearing one. Had they been removed before he and Jacob had connected with the Prometheus? He touched it lightly and grimaced. It was still tight. It had been used so much in the beginning that it was almost melded to his skin. He hoped it could be easily removed because he sure as hell didn't want to explain anything. On the other hand, maybe Jack and the others went through something similar. Maybe..

Damn, he'd better have an explanation just in case.

Part 2

Jacob was literally dumbfounded. Who knew that Daniel could lie like that? That he even had it in him to tell those whoppers? And damn, he'd been convincing. So very convincing. Jacob knew the truth and yet he'd found himself nodding with interest while believing Daniel. Of course, now the issue facing him was George and allowing the lie to go on paper, to become the official story. And Jacob didn't know if it was the right thing.

//It is a difficult question, my friend.//

Tell me about it, Selmac. I don't even know how right Daniel is about Jack, my daughter or Teal'c. Sure, the guilt would be heavy, but damn it, the truth might make them a stronger team.

//Or tear them apart.//

Or tear them apart.

//Ultimately, we are left with the question of what is best for Daniel Jackson, are we not?//

Can't argue with you there. And right now, I believe that it's imperative for him not have to worry about his teammates. He'll have more than enough on his plate without dealing with his friends and their guilt. And he would put them first.

//He strikes me as the type of man used to dealing alone with all that life throws him, Jacob.//

Jacob couldn't argue with that either.

He tried to imagine Sam in the same position... and couldn't. Dared not. He was a father and his anger at what Daniel had been through was more than enough to work through. He'd have gone insane if it had been Sammy.

Jacob rubbed his eyes, slapped his thighs, and stood up. "Time to face the music."

~~~

SG-1 sat around the small conference room aboard the Prometheus. Daniel had enjoyed his shower and now wore the blue uniform typical of the crew. Jacob sat next to Sam, Jack on her other side. Across the table, Teal'c had taken the chair next to Daniel. General Hammond had, as usual, the head of the table.

"So basically, you were treated well and with respect, but you couldn't leave the compound?" Hammond asked, now that Jack had completed his verbal report.

"That's correct, sir. In fact, we couldn't go anywhere on the compound without a guard. But I've got to say, we ate like kings." He glanced at Sam and winked. "And queens. The Yenarans really went the extra mile to ensure that the food we had was appropriate and met all our dietary needs. Tasted good too," he added with a grin.

"So the agreement was that you were to work with these... Mercs... help them redefine their battle strategy and, in six months, you'd be free to go?"

"That was the deal, sir, and the alternative didn't really appeal to me. We would have been 'enlisted' into their military and I doubt we would have lasted long. Probably been sent to the least desirable location with no hope or opportunity for escape. Even with the degree of trust we were given, we were never allowed anywhere near a ship or any other mode of transportation. And they had terrific means to keep us in line, which we witnessed being used on Daniel. They also had us wearing a bracelet that promised to deliver rather dire consequences if we tried anything. However, those were removed after the first three weeks. We never did find out what they could have done to us. I'm thinking that's a good thing, by the way."

Hammond nodded. "I suspect you're right, Colonel." He turned to Daniel. "What exactly did the Yenarans have you doing, Doctor Jackson?"

Jacob, who'd been listening intently to Jack's recitation, immediately focused on Daniel, ready to hear what he'd come up with even while dreading this moment. He found himself amazed just by Daniel's reaction as he answered. Not by body language, eyes, expression, voice, or words, did Daniel betray himself. He simply grinned at George and launched into his pack of lies. Jacob found himself with half an eye on Daniel, for any break in his façade, the other half on the rest of SG-1. He wanted - no, needed - to see their reaction.

". and basically, sir, they had no real archive of their history. It was scattered, random, and with so much energy spent on keeping the Bou'gan at bay, there was no one they could spare to do the work. Hence, my assignment during our - time -- with the Yenarans. It was fascinating, really. They have-"

"Yes, well," Jack interrupted. "I'd like to say I'm interested in Yenar history, but point of fact - I'm not."

"Right. Point taken," Daniel responded glibly. "Anyway, I had my own room, Segev was a tropical planet, mostly water with three islands-"

"Whoa, Danny. While we slaved away teaching stubborn Mercs in a military compound, you were having the time of your life on a tropical paradise?"

Looking down at his hands, and allowing a small grin to turn up the corners of his mouth, Daniel said, "Basically - yeah."

"Well, Carter, looks like you were right all along. He not only landed on his feet, but in paradise to boot."

"Other than a small matter of an invasion," Jacob couldn't help but interject. "And beating the hell out of the enemy."

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed. He then nodded to Daniel's left arm, where the cuff of the long-sleeved tee-shirt had ridden up. "You still wear the bracelet, DanielJackson."

Daniel started to make an abrupt move to pull the sleeve back down, but stopped and gave a small laugh. "Yeah, well, Segev didn't have a lot of guards so this kind of kept me in my place, so to speak. I thought it was ridiculous, actually. I mean, I was on an island. Where would I go?"

"I see. Do you have any idea what it does? How it restricts the individual?"

"Knowing Daniel, he was too busy delving into the history of the Yenaran to even think about escape," Sam said with a grin.

Daniel absently fingered the thin band as he nodded. "Yeah, and sorry, but I have no idea... how it works."

Jacob was almost disgusted. Only his concern for Daniel and the days ahead kept him quiet. But damn, it was hard. Even Selmac was chomping at the bit. He knew damn well how often - and to what extent - that bracelet had been used. Remo had been very forthcoming. Too forthcoming.

"Now that it's over, what would be your opinion of future attempts to both aid the Yenarans and eventually open negotiations with them? From what you've said about their technology, we could benefit by an exchange."

Jack dropped the pen he'd been fiddling with and said, "Sure, they have some nifty stuff, sir, but-"

"But," Daniel rushed in, "nothing we don't already have access to through the Tokr'a, for instance. The zats and staff weapons are similar to their 'machine guns', with only the end result differing. Well, I mean, they're still dead, but the disposition of the body is slightly different."

Jacob leaned forward, sensing the first chink in Daniel's armor. He knew damn well that Daniel couldn't afford an in-depth study of the Yenaran. That would divulge the truth too easily.

"Well, their ships and underground transportation is pretty damn nifty, and when we left, they were winning the battle for Amen-Tor2, so I'm thinking the Bou'gan will soon be history. And of course, there's that whole 'Let's create a planet' thing of theirs," Jack said. "But I'm also thinking we put some time between ourselves and the Yenar before we sally forth and offer our wonderfulness, sir."

Patient "Jack O'Neill" look in place, Hammond said, "I'll take that under advisement, Colonel. What I suggest now, is that you all get some rest, relax, and enjoy the trip home."

Daniel raised a hand. "Actually, sir, I brought back a... kind of tape. You see, there was this tower on Segev-"

"Of course there was," Hammond said fondly. "And it undoubtedly had something of great importance inside?"

Looking suddenly sheepish, Daniel said, "The walls, sir." He waggled his head. "Writings, interesting writings. I'd like to have Sam... I mean, maybe she can jerry-rigz the vid and download the pictures-"

"I understand, Doctor Jackson. Major Carter?"

"I'd be happy to see what I can do. Just the idea of the find like this on Segev is... well, it's pretty exciting."

"Very well."

"General," Jack interjected with a nod to Daniel's wrist. "We need to see about getting that thing off."

"Absolutely. Maybe once we get home, Major Carter and her people can figure out what it does. And don't forget that once we are home, you'll all be spending some quality time with Doctor Frasier."

Jack groaned even as Hammond rose to his feet. "Dismissed, people. Jacob, join me?"

Looking at his daughter, who nodded, he said, "Right behind you, George."

Once Jacob and George were gone, Jack looked at his team and smiled. "SG-1 is once again complete. Feels good."

Sam grinned back at him. "Yes, sir, it does."

"Indeed. I believe we should attempt to get DanielJackson's bracelet off, however."

"Right. Carter, do your thing."

~~~

Sam had the magnifying glass in position and, after twisting the arm a bit and bringing it even closer, said, "I can see a faint line that must be the closure... Daniel, your wrist seems to be swollen around the band."

"Yeah, I noticed. I think I may have a slight sprain. The first time you fire off one those weird machine guns of theirs - well, there's a bit of a kick-back."

"Ah. Well, that might make it more difficult to remove but we'll give it our best shot."

Jack looked over her shoulder and peered through the glass at the bracelet. He gave a low whistle and promptly made a fish face.

"Charming, Jack," Daniel said. "And may I say... much missed."

Jack looked over the top of the glass. "What? My fish face?"

Grinning, Daniel nodded. "Yep. Missed that fish face."

"Ah, get on with ya."

"Uhm, sir? I need some room here?"

"Oh, right. Sorry, Carter." Jack moved to stand next to Daniel while Sam continued to study the bracelet.

"They probably had some device that would trigger it open... so I'm thinking either sound or... possibly-"

"Carter?"

"I'm just saying.."

"Just get it off," Jack said.

Sam picked up a pair of needle-nosed wire cutters and, again peering through the glass, attempted to slip one side of them under the band. "Sir, could you hold the glass steady for me?"

"I will assist Major Carter, O'Neill."

Jack nodded, his expression serious as he watched Daniel trying not to jerk as Sam tried to slip the cutters in between his skin and the band. She gripped his arm with her left hand and, once she'd succeeded, tried to snip the band off.

Nothing happened.

Glancing up, she grimaced. "The metal is too strong, sir. I'm going to hope there's a weakness at the closure and see if I can twist it off." She dropped the cutters and picked up a pair of bent-nosed chain pliers and started the process again. When a streak of red popped up, she gasped and drew back sharply.

"It's okay, Sam, I can't feel anything around the band. And it was my fault. I jerked a bit. Try again."

Sam looked up at her friend, glanced briefly at Jack, who nodded encouragingly. She took a deep breath and reapplied the pliers. Once she had what she hoped was a good grip on the band, she started to twist... and again, nothing happened. She was about to pull the pliers out when Teal'c said, "Allow me."

Sam nodded and slowly Teal'c replaced her hand on the pliers, both being careful not to dislodge them. "I will do my best to avoid injuring you, DanielJackson."

"Like I said, I can't feel anything. Give it your best shot, T."

Even as Daniel spoke, Teal'c twisted.

The bracelet opened.

Smiling, Jack said, "That's my man!"

Daniel lifted his arm and carefully removed the bracelet from around his wrist. He handed it to Sam. "Do with it as you will and don't ever say I never gave you anything."

~~~

For all their relief and happiness at being "rescued", Daniel could see the edginess in his teammates. Jack was restless and couldn't stop moving and Sam seemed to follow him wherever he went. Even Teal'c seemed to need to connect. Daniel felt helpless to make things easier for them, but then, he figured once they were all home, things would improve. Would have to improve. He was sure it was just being cooped up on board the Prometheus that was causing the nervousness. He watched Jack head back to the other side of the room while tossing a small red ball into the air. Sam was leaning against the book shelves, eyes on Jack.

Daniel closed the book he hadn't been reading and got to his feet. He walked over to the desk in the corner of the lounge, pulled out a white legal pad, a black marker and a pair of scissors. He waited until Jack passed him, then walked over to the game table and sat down. He started cutting up a piece of paper into small squares. Once he had thirty-six of them, he began to draw odd and strange designs on each one.

Jack paused in his pacing and peered over Daniel's shoulder. "Daniel?"

"On Segev, I learned a game called Buno. I thought you, being a chess aficionado, would find this game interesting. Care to give it a try?"

Jack grinned, and immediately tossed the ball to Sam, who caught it.

"Buno?"

Daniel smiled. "Yep. Whatcha think?"

Jack rubbed his hands together in anticipation and sat down opposite Daniel. "So it's like chess?"

"In a way. Your moves and the choices you make with the tiles - in this case, these squares of paper - pretty much determine who wins."

"Okay, I'll give it a try."

Daniel grinned as Sam and Teal'c both walked over and took the other two seats to watch and learn.

~~~

They stood before the Stargate while the symbols for Earth were put up. The Alpha site had welcomed them with cheering, hugs and "Thank Gods" but now - now they were moments from home. All four stood next to each other, shoulders almost touching. In front of them, Hammond and Jacob stood ready to go through first.

The wormhole burst out, and to Daniel, it almost seemed say, "I missed you, SG-1."

Fanciful, he was sure, but nevertheless, his grin widened.

And immediately faded. Once on the other side... the physical. And Janet.

Hammond looked back at his flagship team, grateful beyond measure to be able to see them. "SG-1, you ready to go home?"

"Let me put it this way, General," Jack said with a devilish gleam in his brown eyes. "You and Jacob might want to really pick up the pace."

"Right, Colonel. Let's go."

Hammond and Jacob walked through, SG-1 right on their heels.

~~~

"Okay, now this is the kind of welcome I'm always talking about," Jack whispered as they stepped out onto the ramp to a room full of cheering SGC personnel.

"And to think, we didn't even have to save Earth this time," Daniel answered drolly.

~~~

Because SG-7 had arrived back at the SGC just forty minutes before Hammond, Jacob and SG-1, and because they'd come through in worse shape than they'd left, beds in the Infirmary were at a premium. Daniel found himself being hustled into a private room while watching Jack, Sam and Teal'c being led in the opposite direction. It couldn't have worked out better if he'd planned it.

Doctor Wyatt smiled at him, held out the requisite gown and he groaned. So it begins.

~~~

"Your arm is healing remarkably well, Doctor Jackson. You have several bruises but nothing we need to be overly concerned about." Wyatt stepped away and made several notations on his chart, and Daniel knew she was documenting the new scars on his back. She hadn't asked about them, but that didn't surprise him. She'd probably made certain assumptions about the fact that he and the rest of SG-1 had been "prisoners" of the Yenarans. He noticed that she was slipping on a new pair of gloves, which meant the physical was about to get even more... intimate. It was time for Janet.

Daniel gave a small cough, and said, "Look, before we go any further, would you mind asking Doctor Frasier to come in? I'd like to go over something with her before I forget." He tried to give Wyatt his most brilliant, disarming smile.

"She'll be in later, Doctor Jackson."

"Uhm, right, but you know, I can get so forgetful, and this is important. Would you mind?"

Smiling at him, Wyatt finally nodded. "Sure. Hang on and I'll go get her."

Grinning broadly, Daniel said, "Thanks. Really appreciate it."

Watching her leave, he sighed in relief and prayed he'd be as successful with Janet as he'd been with Jacob.

~~~

"Well, Colonel, this one is for the books." Janet walked over to the exam bed, chart in hand. "You're held prisoner for three months and you return to us in better shape then when you left. Definitely a new SG-1 record. Same thing holds true for Sam and Teal'c."

"What can I say, Doc? We make model prisoners."

"I guess so. But I have to tell you, I expected at least a few new scars to add to your ever-lengthening medical record."

Jack grinned and shrugged. "Sorry, Doc. I promise to do better next time."

Janet laughed and closed the chart. "Don't go to any trouble on my account, okay? As in really don't."

"Doctor Frasier?"

Janet turned to see Wyatt at the edge of the curtain that separated Jack from Teal'c and Sam. "Doctor Wyatt?"

"Could I have a moment?"

"Of course, we're done here. I'll be right out."

"Thank you."

Wyatt moved away and allowed the curtain to drop back down. Janet patted Jack's thigh and said, "You can get dressed now. I'll give the good news to General Hammond but I want you to know that in spite of your excellent physical condition, I'm going to recommend to him that you and the rest of SG-1 be given at least two weeks medical leave. And by leave, I mean you don't even look at Cheyenne Mountain for the entire time."

"Aw, come on, Doc-"

She raised a finger. "Tut-tut, who knows best here? You've been gone for over three months and you know this is going to require a period of readjustment. You've been through it before, Colonel, and I'm depending on you to help your team through it now. And as eager as I know all of you are to return to duty, the fact is that you have three months to catch up on. Understood?"

Looking a bit sheepish, Jack nodded. "Understood."

"Good. Now get dressed and get the heck out of my Infirmary. I've got real patients to take care of." Any possible sting to her words was mitigated by her brilliant smile.

~~~

Elizabeth Wyatt was suddenly worried. If she'd heard Janet correctly, the rest of SG-1 was in perfect health with no injuries of any kind. Which was not the case with their archaeologist. She chewed on her bottom lip and looked back down at the chart in her hands. It had been obvious that Daniel Jackson had been whipped - several times. Yes, it was true that the scars weren't all that recent, but they most definitely had been a result of injuries sustained in the last three months.

"Liz? What's up?"

She turned to face Janet and gently led her away from SG-1, and out into the corridor. "Actually, it's Doctor Jackson. I'm not quite finished with his physical, but he wanted to see you first."

"No problem. I'm done here. Is that his chart?"

Liz glanced down at it... and slowly nodded. "Yes... and I'm a bit confused. Did I just hear you say something about the rest of SG-1 being in better health than when they left?"

"Yes, and yes, I know, it's a miracle," Janet said with a smile. "But all three of them have even gained a bit of weight."

"And no... injuries... of any kind?"

Puzzled now, Janet said, "No-o, why?"

Wordlessly, Liz handed Daniel's chart over to Janet. "I wish I could say the same thing about Doctor Jackson. In comparing his last physical to today, he's lost eleven pounds. But that's not all."

Janet looked at the chart now in her hand, and quickly opened it. She scanned the results noted so far, and slowly her puzzlement turned to worry. "He has... new scarring?"

"Yes. I'd say as a result of a whipping. More than... once."

Janet glanced back into the examining room and at the three curtains that hid Jack, Sam and Teal'c from view. "This doesn't make sense," she said, almost to her self. "Major Carter said that Daniel had been... and that.."

Her voice trailed off as she shut the chart. She looked back at Liz and said, "I'll take it from here, Liz. Thanks."

"All right. I'm due at the Academy in an hour, so-"

"Go ahead. We're clear now. And thanks for your assistance today."

"Any time."

~~~

It was taking all of Daniel's willpower not to get up and pace. Not to jiggle his leg. Not to yell bloody murder. He sat still, hands clasped together, elbows resting on his thighs. He was cold, damn it. He was always cold in the Infirmary, especially with his ass hanging out. He looked around the room and realized that it was altogether possible that he knew the Infirmary better than any other place in the SGC.

And what the hell did that say?

"Daniel?"

Okay, she'd managed to sneak up on him. He glanced up and smiled. "Hey, Janet. How's Jack? Sam? Teal'c?"

"They're all fine, Daniel. You, on the other hand, seem to have lost some weight."

"I'm not surprised."

She walked over, her heels clicking lightly on the floor. She dropped the chart onto the examining bed and said, "Oh?"

"You know me when I get involved in something. I was kind of turned into.."

He stopped. God, what an idiot. He'd almost started to give her the whole damn, made-up story, which was no way to get her on his side.

"Daniel?"

"You might want to pull up that chair over there. This might take a bit," he finally said, his grin disappearing.

While she was pulling the chair up, he glanced up at the video camera and thanked God there was no sound. And as long as he sat facing the west wall, lip reading would be out.

"Okay, I'm seated."

"Right. Thank you. Okay, so. I asked Doctor Wyatt to get you because I want you to finish off my physical. You and no one else."

She automatically reached for the chart. Opening it, she read all of Liz's notes to ascertain what Liz hadn't completed yet.

"Janet, the reason I want you to do it is because I don't want your findings - or any of Doctor Wyatt's more interesting notes, to appear in my chart, or on any report."

Janet's head shot up. "Maybe you'd better start from the beginning. Explain to me why you have new scars - apparently a result of some sort of... whipping - and why you, unlike your teammates, have lost weight, when all you were doing was delving into the history of the people who held all four of you prisoner."

"That's easy, Janet. It was a pack of lies."

Part 3

The words were said so simply, they almost didn't register. When they did, Janet was very glad she was sitting down. She was finally able to say, "I'm listening."

Daniel experienced a momentary flashback to another time, another bed, another explanation.

//Nausea will be followed be tremors, convulsions and something called ataxia. Surface tissue, brain tissue and internal organs will inflame and degrade, I believe that's called necrosis. Now based on the dose of radiation I got, all that will happen in the next 10-15 hours and, if I don't drown in my own fluids first, I will bleed to death and there is no medical treatment to prevent that.//

He gave himself a mental shake and started talking.

"The Yenarans have a caste-like system, Janet. They're a culture that knows nothing but war, and their entire society, such as it is now, is geared towards winning that war. Now below the ruling members of the government there were the Mercs. These were the men and women who fought the war, like Jack, Teal'c and Sam. The entire Yenaran society was built around them. On the next level were the Teks. These were the technical wizards, also like Sam, and they were held in almost as high esteem. Finally... there were the Servi. Those who provided services for the Mercs and the Teks. Naturally, one of those services... were of a more... physical... nature. These were the Servi-1's."

He paused, took a deep breath, and added, "When it became apparent that I was not a soldier like Jack, Sam and Teal'c, I was taken away." He gave her a wry grin. "I'm not sure what criteria they used to decide that I should be a... Servi-1, but that's what happened." He laughed a completely humorless laugh. "I was further given the distinction of being one of only thirteen Servi-1 to be something called an XY. That's a Servi-1 who is lucky enough to... appeal... to both male and female Mercs."

Daniel shifted a bit and went on.

"When you move onto the more intimate procedures of my physical, well, certain things will become abundantly clear - which is why I wanted you now... and why I don't want the results in my file." He coughed slightly. "See, in the first weeks, in spite of being thoroughly prepared for what was going to happen, I kind of... fought the whole thing, hence the lovely new scars. I was punished rather frequently in the beginning, and later, well, let's just say that not all Mercs were content to... they liked it... you know... rough, and lube wasn't something they were familiar with, you know?"

He gave her the same wry smile as he added, "Okay, that might have been TMI. Sorry. Anyway, to put this all in a convienent nutshell, I was basically a male... whore. I'd say prostitute, but we didn't get paid."

When Janet said nothing, Daniel grinned again. "That was a joke, you know? The not getting paid part?" He leaned forward. "Janet? Har-har?"

~~~

//I was a... male... whore. I'd say prostitute, but we didn't get paid.//

The words entered her brain, but somehow, she was having trouble making sense out of them. She couldn't wrap her brain around the concept of Daniel Jackson being... used. Which was odd. Hadn't she and Sam seen him all those years ago after Hathor had collected her "code of life" from him?

Oh. Dear. God.

She put a hand out, for what reason, she didn't know, other than she had the feeling she might fall over.

"Janet? Are you okay?"

She focused then, her vision clearing and Daniel's face becoming clear. "Me? I'm fine. Fine. Just... fine. I don't think I really... understand. Sam said-"

"Sam told you what I told them. They don't know the truth and that's why we're talking now. Why I want it out of my file. Why I don't want you to tell anyone. I... they shouldn't have to know, see? Jacob knows because he's the one who came to Segev. He thought Sam would be there, but all he got was me. But Remo told him everything and I convinced him how much harm it would do to Jack, Sam and Teal'c if they knew. Surely you see that? There is no reason for anyone to know that a member of the SGC spent three months serving a bunch of aliens on another planet, you know? Not that it wouldn't do wonders for my reputation as a sex god, and all, but really, that will only interfere with my work."

"I can't. I don't see how.."

"Janet, I know what I'm asking of you. That it goes against everything you are, that it puts your career at risk, but ultimately, you pride yourself on your ability to take care of us, and the best way you can do that, in this instance, is to let my lie stand. It will kill Jack if he finds out. You know that. You know how he is, how he feels about his command. This could really do a number on him and the team. Irreparable harm, Janet." He looked away finally, down at his clenched hands, "I'm begging you."

He held his breath and closed his eyes. When there was no answer, he whispered, "Janet?"

"Janet?"

~~~

"Well, that should do it, Daniel. And I want to thank you for your patience in undergoing a redo of everything Doctor Wyatt did. I still can't believe I spilled coffee on her excellent work. Everything so meticulously detailed. But fortunately, she was just helping out today and isn't likely to be back, let alone looking at your file. She'll never know what a klutz I am."

Daniel sat up, his hands shaking slightly. That had been the most difficult exam he'd ever had to undergo. And judging by Janet's expression - so at odds from her words - it hadn't been much of a joyful experience for her either. But at least she knew that basically he was all right. Where it counted.

"No problem, Janet. None at all," he said in the same tone of voice.

"Good. Okay, so other than some weight loss, which can be explained by the fact that Colonel O'Neill wasn't around to get you to leave your work and actually eat, you're the picture of health. You can get dressed now. General Hammond is expecting you and the rest of SG-1 in the conference room in twenty."

Janet closed the chart, dropped her hand on his thigh, squeezed it, and then walked out.

He let all of the air in his lungs out and sagged forward. He could never repay Janet for this, but damn it, he'd try. He reached for his uniform and started to get dressed.

~~~

Janet walked into her office and sat down, Daniel's chart still in her hand. She glanced at the other three charts that Lieutenant Marshall had delivered, and slowly, almost tenderly, ran her hand over them. She knew on one level, that Daniel had been right about SG-1 knowing the truth, but on another level, she suspected Daniel was wrong. SG-1 could have handled the truth, would have survived.

//And Daniel?//

Therein lay the real reason for giving into his request. While her friend was indeed worried about protecting his friends, the reality was that he was the one who might be destroyed if they knew the truth. In spite of the fact that he didn't see life the same way as his teammates, that events were never black or white, he'd still see only black for himself if they knew. The world was variegated. Shaded. Muted by exceptions and circumstances, cultures and history, and the human heart, for others. But not for Daniel. Where he'd give others every chance in the world, he rarely gave himself a second chance. His world was black and white.

She wondered how stable he really was right now - and what could she do to help him? Oh, she'd brought up the idea of seeing someone, but he'd waved her off, told her he was okay - weeks okay. He was where he needed to be, and as long as no one else knew the truth - he'd be fine.

She wasn't sure she believed him, but time would tell.

Janet continued to stroke the files as she contemplated the kind of fallout for Daniel and the SGC if the truth were in black and white in Daniel's chart. She shook her head. Another damn good reason for giving into Daniel, because once this kind of thing did get into a file; once it was official, there was no turning back. And it would get out. The SGC still had its enemies and she could only imagine what they'd do with this kind of information. What it would do to Daniel if it got out.

She gave a firm nod of head. Yes, for now, this was the best course of action for Daniel. She was pretty certain that Jack, Sam and Teal'c could have handled it. Could maybe even have made things better for Daniel. Easier, if he'd let them. But wasn't that the rub?

If he'd let them. And when had he? Ever? So much of him was completely bottled up and unshared. Even with Jack, his closest friend. Had Daniel ever talked to anyone about Abydos, Skaara, or what it felt like to have descended? To be the guy who died only to come back a year later?

No.

//No one really asked.//

She closed her eyes. Her version of Jiminy Cricket was about to begin a close and personal relationship with Raid.

Enough. She had a briefing to attend.

~~~

"Yes, sir, perfect health, but I still think two weeks leave is mandatory, General."

"Aw, come on, Doc. We're fine, you said so yourself," Jack whined.

"Sir, I believe we've already had this conversation."

"But-"

"Colonel?" Hammond interrupted. "I'm in complete agreement with Doctor Frasier. Two weeks leave and you stay out of Cheyenne Mountain. Teal'c, I'm assuming you'd like to visit your son?"

"I would, General Hammond. And thank you."

"Sir, I had several projects-"

"Major Carter, you've been MIA for three months - your projects, if not already completed, will wait an additional two weeks. All three of you have homes to take care of, lives to become reacquainted with. Two weeks, this is non-negotiable."

Daniel raised a hand, his index finger doing its little "But sir" dance. "General, the video-"

"The translation can wait, Doctor Jackson. It's waited all these years and I think two more weeks won't make a difference. It will be here when you return."

"Yes, sir."

"SG-1, you're dismissed, and if I see any of you back here before June tenth, you'll be shot."

~~~

"So."

"So."

"So."

The three remaining members of SG-1 looked at each other and then the elevator.

"So, Carter, you and Jacob going to be spending some quality time together?"

"Yes, sir. We're leaving for Mark's tomorrow, but will be back on Saturday."

"Good. Good. Daniel? What are your plans?"

"Uhm... yard work?"

"What, you don't think the Air Force took care of your place while we were... gone?"

"I'm sure they did, but probably not up to my standards as a fairly new homeowner."

"Good point."

The elevator had still not arrived and Jack found himself saying, "So," again.

"So, Sam, where's Jacob now?"

"He's meeting with General Hammond but will join me later this afternoon. We're going to eat out. I've been dying for sushi for the last three months and tonight, I'm going to have it."

"Sushi?" Jack gave a mock shiver. "Grilled, Carter. All good fish should be grilled."

Sam rolled her eyes and asked, "Daniel, what food have you missed?"

Daniel went dreamy as he said, "Chocolate milk. And popcorn. I'm going to stop at the store and buy a gallon of the stuff and as many boxes of Newman's Own popcorn that will fit in the Jeep. And I'm going to add tons of butter."

"Pizza," Jack said unnecessarily. "And beer."

"Duh," Daniel said with a soft smile.

The elevator finally arrived and all three stepped in, more than eager to actually get to their respective homes, to sleep in their own beds, and to do all the things they'd been thinking about for three months.

Once out of the mountain, they walked together to their cars. As Jack unlocked his Ford, he said, "Maybe we could all get together when you and Jacob get back?"

"Sure, why not?" Sam looked up at the blue sky and smiled. "It's almost summer. When we left, it was still cold and had just snowed."

Daniel nodded even as he noted how clean his car was. "They even took care of our vehicles, guys."

"All three together, clean as a whistle and I'm betting fully fueled," Jack said proudly.

"Gotta love the Air Force," Daniel said with an evil grin.

All three laughed, but the laughter was slightly strained. They were going home and with that knowledge came an almost inherent fear of what they'd find. Sam gazed wistfully back at the mountain and said, "I'd probably do better to stay here for a couple of days.."

Daniel put his hand on her shoulder and gave her a reassuring squeeze as he said softly, "Not really, Sam. That would just be avoidance."

"Would it?" she asked. "I almost do better here than at home. It's... easier, I guess."

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Daniel said, "That's a topic for a whole 'nother discussion, Sam. One that would delve into why we don't have lives."

Jack climbed into his Ford and said, "Speak for yourself, Daniel. I have a life and I'm off for two weeks to enjoy it."

Sam almost giggled as she said, "Fishing, sir?"

"Maybe, maybe not. I'm at the mercy of the wind and where it takes me. For two whole weeks."

"Other than our little get-together when Sam returns, right?"

"Natch. Now both of you, get out of here. Go home. Enjoy the popcorn, Daniel, but don't OD, okay?"

Daniel gave a little wave and turned to his own car. He got in at the same time as Sam got into hers, and a few minutes later - all three were headed down the mountain toward the city... and home.

Daniel thought it odd how, other than a squeeze here or there, none of them had really... touched. He'd wanted to hug all of them, had wanted to hug Teal'c in the 'Gate room before he'd gone through. Had wanted to hug Sam just now... and yes, Jack too.

Oh, well. That's life, as they say.

~~~

Four days later -

Daniel had cleaned his house four times in four days. He'd also mowed, watered, even cleaned out a clean garage - every day. He'd enjoyed his chocolate milk and popcorn too. Every night. A routine. Amazing.

A routine that wasn't helping.

But he'd started another one in an effort to keep the darkness that seemed to reside on the edge of his mind, away. Every night, before the chocolate milk and popcorn, around six or so, he'd sit down at the piano and play. For hours. The weather had been lovely, with the daylight stretching until after seven, so he'd kept his front door open, along with all the windows, and played. There was enough space between his house and the rest of the neighborhood that he doubted he was bothering anyone with his music. In fact, he'd noticed how many neighbors had begun to take early evening walks right after he'd start playing.

Maybe they enjoyed it. Maybe.

In fact, it was after six now and yep, his fingers were itching to play. He walked over to his front door and stood on the porch for a few moments, taking in the fragrant, almost-summer air. Across the street, he noticed his neighbors coming out with drinks and sitting on their front porch. There were also several others starting their walks. He turned away and walked back inside and over to his piano. He sat down and decided on some Beethoven tonight.

His fingers caressed the keys and music flowed forth, soothing and all encompassing. Gentle notes floated up and seemed to mingle with the scent of blossoming flowers and freshly cut grass. Outside, his neighbors settled in for what had become a much anticipated nightly concert from the blue house at the end of the block.

As he played, he lost himself in the music, and for a few short hours, could forget.

~~~

//This is O'Neill. The fish are jumping, I'm catching. Leave your message and I might get back to you.//

Daniel put the phone down without leaving a message. He walked over to the sliding glass doors that led to his backyard but didn't go outside. It was raining and matched his mood to the proverbial tee. His phone had not rung once - if you didn't count the telemarketers - since he'd left the mountain over a week ago. By now, he figured Sam and Jacob had to be back, but evidently Jack was still in Minnesota. He stared out over the lawn, watching the raindrops hit the grass. He could almost imagine the small plopping sound. He could see his reflection in the glass and gave himself a wry smile.

He'd been home a week and a half and he'd discovered that he was - still -- libido-less. Wow, linguist supreme and he'd just made up a new word.

To put it in layman's terms, his libido had taken a hike. He supposed he really shouldn't be surprised, but he was. When you lead the kind of life he did - namely the "without sex" kind, you got kind of used to your right hand, and in his case, he'd become - before the last mission - very fond of his showers. He'd enjoyed the heat, steam, the convenience of already being wet and able to clean up, and he'd enjoyed the relaxation of it. The ease of how his imagination supplied him with a lover as the steam wrapped itself around him and the water sluiced down over his body... and the fact that the lover, for the last three years - okay, not counting his ascension because the libido was a very different thing when you were ascended - had been Jack.

He didn't feel guilty imagining Jack in the shower with him; not at all. It was actually liberating, in a way. He'd come to terms with his love for the man quite a while ago, so letting his mind convince him that Jack was behind him, arm wrapped around his waist, hand on his dick - well, it seemed perfectly normal. Of course, he'd nixed those fantasies on Segev, hadn't wanted Jack to have any part in his life there, but had been looking forward to revisiting them once he was home. Unfortunately - no amount of imagining, no amount of naked Jack running through his mind, could help him get his dick to take an interest in anything. Nada, zip, nothing.

He knew his libido had been gone for the last three months. It certainly hadn't been a necessity when the choosing Merc was a male. They couldn't have cared less if his dick so much as twitched - which it never had, for obvious reasons. The few females on leave had always come equipped with a nice little drug that took care of his dick and allowed him to please them. The fact that the drug was standard operating procedure because the women didn't want to risk their leave on a non-performing Servi-1 hadn't fazed him at all. He'd been damn grateful. Even Remo used it when Marisk was on Segev and with him.

What he found truly amazing even now was that every single Merc he'd been with had been a fucking top.

What did that say about the Yenarans? Sheesh.

Damn, he really missed those showers though.

The day had darkened even more in the short time he'd been at the window, and so had his mood. He should play but not even the promise of soothing music was helping him today.

Damn it, he needed to be at Cheyenne Mountain, in blue fatigues, in his lab, so that he'd know who he was. So he could stop his goddamned mind.

~~~

Jack tossed his bag in the backseat of the rental, walked around to the driver's side and got in. He glanced back at his cabin and wondered why it had brought him no comfort this week. Sure, it had been quiet, and he'd needed that, but the quiet had quickly rubbed his nerves raw. Which was why he was leaving early. He backed down the long drive, pulled a u-turn, and headed out.

As the scenery zipped past him, he again wondered why his "reconnect" time at the cabin had failed so miserably. He'd managed to do the getting grounded routine at home so why not out here? It made no sense.

When he hit the interstate, he slid in a CD and, as Mozart filled the car, pondered the last few days. Surrounded by himself, he'd certainly had plenty of time to think. Something he'd spent a great deal of time avoiding.

Maybe the problem was the fact that who he really needed to reconnect with hadn't been with him. Maybe the problem was that he'd spent three months trying to get Daniel back, and once they'd all been reunited, he'd up and headed for his cabin. Maybe the problem was that he was getting tired of all the looks Carter kept shooting him. Maybe the problem was... him.

Ya think?

For the next hour, as he fought the morning traffic to the airfield, he returned to his current policy of avoidance. Something he'd gotten pretty damn good at of late.

~~~

Monday dawned grey and cold, almost as if Spring was giving Summer a lesson in not counting chickens before the first day of Summer. Daniel parked his Jeep next to Jack's truck and got out. He stretched a bit, pocketed his keys and started the long walk to the entrance to the mountain.

There'd never been a call and thus, no barbecue, but Daniel couldn't say he was totally upset about that. It would have been difficult to hide the darkness that seemed to dog his every step from his friends. Here at work he could at least bury himself in the translation of the tower from Segev, and anything else that came up, and thus would simply appear to be his usual work-absorbed self.

He checked in, waited for the clearance, and when given the go-ahead, made his slow way to the elevator. Damn, he hated this weird kind of limbo that said it was a good thing that there'd been no barbecue, but also said it was a very bad thing. SG-1 should have found a way to get together, to reconnect. Of course, only one member had been disconnected during their oh-so-enjoyable vacation with the Yenarans so obviously there was no need to reconnect. Which again left him with the proverbial glass that was either half full or half empty.

Half empty or half full glasses were probably indicative of his current mental state: The odd kind of grief that came with the knowledge that there was no need to reestablish anything with him, offset by the relief.

The elevator opened and he rode down, changed elevators and went down to his floor. Once in his lab, he felt the first stirrings of excitement as he looked at the folder with the photos of the tower walls. He took off his jacket, slung it over the back of his chair and, using great restraint, powered up his computer to check emails. While it was doing its thing, he checked his ingoing mail box and found a couple dozen notes and cards welcoming him back. He smiled in appreciation and turned his attention to his email. More welcome back notes and several emails questioning the time and date for the next department meeting. Ah, the mundane things of a life reclaimed. He checked for an email from General Hammond or Jack alerting him to any kind of briefing - and finding none - sent off an email to his staff suggesting they return to their previously scheduled staff meetings every Friday. He also thanked everyone for the notes and then suggested a quick catch-up lunch meeting on Tuesday, in the Commissary, and he was buying. He grinned as he hit send.

Finding very little else to respond to, and nothing of importance or urgency in his mail box, he turned to the tower photos, his conscience clear. He knew this would take time, would take a second seat to anything else that came along, but he needed it. The tower walls and their writings would be his lifeline.

Two hours later, deeply entrenched - but getting nowhere - his concentration was broken when his email program pinged. He glanced up to see who the email was from and almost jumped out of his chair.

Jack.

He quickly opened... and read it.

The smile that split Daniel's face almost hurt, thanks to muscles unaccustomed to the exercise. He started typing.

He hit send and wondered how long it would take Jack.

Daniel, smile still firmly in place, went back to the translation. He didn't get far as the sound of pounding footsteps and boots skidding just outside his door heralded... Jack.

"New... artifacts?" Jack breathed out, clearly out of breath.

Laughing, Daniel spun around on his chair, nodded and pointed to the crate at the end of his table. "Fiddle away, Jack. Just remember, you drop 'em, you buy 'em. And considering most of them are priceless, well, I'm not too confident about the government's installment plan."

He watched Jack move to the crate and, looking for all the world like a five-year-old on Christmas morning, dig in. Daniel was pretty sure nothing had ever looked better than the sight of Jack in his office, and having fun. He couldn't keep his eyes from the man.

Home was home... but without Jack... it was nothing.

Scary. Very scary. But so true that Daniel could do nothing but live with the fact. As he'd been doing for years.

"Okay, what the hell is this?" Jack lifted out what appeared to be a statue of a man with a very large penis.

Daniel cocked his head and said thoughtfully, "A man with a very large penis?"

"Daniel?"

"Whatever you do, Jack, don't fiddle... with the dick."

He watched almost gleefully as Jack put the artifact down - very - very - carefully.

"It has a name, right?"

"His dick? I don't think so, Jack."

"No, Daniel," Jack said patiently. "The artifact."

"Oh. The artifact. Well, SG-17 thought it was Baal."

Jack took two steps back. "Tell me it isn't Baal, Daniel."

"It isn't Baal, Jack."

"Are you just telling me that because I asked you to?"

"Yes. And because it's not Baal. It's Ashur. He was the god of fertility. Assyria. Married to Ishtar."

Jack moved back to the table. "You know, Daniel, it really worries me that you know that. That you know the difference between Baal's dick and Arthur's."

"Ashur's. And what can I say? It's a gift."

Jack shot him a disbelieving look. "Riiight." He peered into the box again and almost cackled as he drew out... a rock. "Oh, look here. A. rock. Now how would anyone know this was a Daniel rock and not a Carter rock?"

Daniel narrowed his eyes at the "rock" and said, "Uhm, I don't think Sam's rocks usually have hieroglyphs on them, but I could be wrong."

Jack twisted the rock around and went "Ah" as he brought the item close and squinted. "How the heck could you see these little itty-bitty chicken scratches from where you are?"

"That would be my thirty-something eyes versus your forty-something eyes, Jack."

"Bastard," Jack snorted.

Daniel simply grinned. How pathetic was it that this was the happiest he'd been in almost four months.

Part 4

"So you're saying this could take time--"

"Lots of time. On top of being a mixture of the four languages - I think it's in code."

"Code? Code?"

Daniel stared at the photos and almost reluctantly nodded. "Yes. If I'm reading this right, which again, I'm probably not."

"Daniel, you're giving me a headache."

Daniel removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes as he said, "Okay, let's start over." He put his glasses back on and said, "I should have been able to crack quite a bit of this by now because I... well, I can... you know, read each of the languages in question - to varying degrees. BUT - since what I have been able to come up with is pure garbage, I'd have to say I'm looking at a code. What I can tell you is that one man wrote all of it."

"Name?"

"I haven't found it yet. Call him Harold if you have to have a name."

"Right. Harold. Go on."

Rolling his eyes, Daniel went on. "Uhm, well, that's it."

Daniel rubbed the back of his head. Jack, worried, said, "Are you okay?"

He nodded and answered, "Yeah, yeah. This is just so... unreal. Harold goes to all the trouble of getting that tower built and then covers the walls in indecipherable gibberish. It makes no sense. "

"I can get behind that. So you have something to occupy your time when you get bored. And no one is going to take it away from you this time. Although I'm thinking this isn't a meaning of life kind of thing."

"No, but it is interesting."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Daniel, to you, chicken scratches are interesting."

"Only if they're in a foreign language, Jack," Daniel said straight-faced.

"Har-har. Okay, I'm going to let you play a while longer and then I'm coming back and collecting you for lunch. Got it?"

"Well-"

"Daniel? Got it?"

Daniel gave a mock salute. "Got it."

"Good."

~~~

Leaving Daniel's office, Jack felt good for the first time in weeks. He felt... right. He turned the corner and almost ran into Carter. "Whoa, what's the rush?" he said as he caught her and kept her standing upright.

"Sorry, sir. I was actually on my way to your office. Thought I'd check in." She stepped away and straightened her jacket. "How was your time-off, Colonel?"

"It was fine, just fine. Yours?"

"Great, sir. Dad and I just got back in. He's with General Hammond now."

"Ah. So, how's the family?"

"Mark is fine, everyone is fine." She suddenly seemed uncomfortable and shifted her body a bit before smiling up at him.

"That's good. Daniel's busy playing with his translation from the tower - promises to be a nice 'keep Danny happy' exercise. He's in seventh heaven."

"That's our Daniel. So," she tilted her head slightly, "any word on a mission, Colonel?"

"Not yet." He checked his watch and said, "I'm due in General Hammond's office right now, as a matter of fact. But I can tell you that he was making sounds two weeks ago about no missions until we'd had at least a week here to acclimate ourselves and catch up. You know, the usual."

"Ah. Then I guess I'll get to it. Maybe we can meet for lunch later? I'm buying."

"Oh, sure, why not. I'll be there anyway. Say two hours?"

Looking slightly surprised, she nevertheless said a hesitant, "Sure."

Watching her walk away, Jack realized he was disappointed. He'd wanted the lunch hour with Daniel - alone. "Fat chance now," he muttered as he headed toward Hammond's office.

~~~

Hammond relaxed back in his chair, regarded Jack with a worried eye, and asked, "So how are you doing -- really?"

Jack shifted in the chair and gave Hammond a small "you know how it is" shrug. "This is old hat for me, sir. Been there, done that, almost had a wife to prove it."

Hammond gave Jack a look that clearly telegraphed his disbelief. "I was there last time, remember? I know exactly how difficult it was for you."

Thoughtful look on his face, Jack said, "It wasn't leaving Eudora and it wasn't exactly the process of reintegrating myself that was so hard. It was," he looked upward and scratched at his chin, "more the fact that for one hundred days... all I wanted was to go home, and as each day passed, that became less and less likely. Then, just as I was about to accept the fact that I'd be there for the rest of my life, Laira gives me the radio and says she heard voices speaking from it. When I saw Teal'c's face looking up at me - I don't think I was ever happier."

Looking very surprised, Hammond leaned forward slightly. "So you weren't in love with her?"

"I was... fond... of her, but in love? No. She was - is - a wonderful woman, but what I wanted was here, the life I wanted was here."

"So the problems in returning home were?"

Jack gave out with a dry, humorless laugh. "Damned if I know. I was here, had it all back again, and yet - something was missing."

"Maybe you cared more for-"

"No, sir. With all due respect, no. What was - and is - missing, was missing before Eudora. I just realized it - and felt it more keenly -- upon my return."

"And this time, Jack?"

"This time... the same sense... yet not. And no, I can't explain it any better than that. This time, I spent three months worrying and trying to get Daniel back with us, knowing that we'd go home eventually and scared to death that somehow it would be without him. Now we're home, we're together, everyone is healthy, and yet... and yet.."

His voice trailed off and he grinned a bit sheepishly. "All this heart-to-heart without the benefit of any of your very special scotch. Wow."

Hammond looked at his watch. "Sorry, Jack, it's only nine-thirty. But feel free to drop by later - around six." He grinned.

Rising to his feet and stuffing his hands in his pockets, Jack said, "Don't be surprised if I take you up on that."

"Seriously, Jack. You know I'm always here."

"I know, General. I know."

~~~

Jack was now left with the prospect of having to actually check up on his paperwork and catch up with the SGC. After that -- lunch with Daniel -- and Carter.

~~~

"Daniel, we need your help."

Looking up from the photo of the tower walls, Daniel squinted at Nyan. "Oh?"

Picking up his friend's glasses and handing them to him, Nyan smiled and said, "We have been given the task of translating a... rug... brought back from P3X-200 by SG-3. Apparently it is some kind of test and if we can figure it out, SG-3 will be able to open up negotiations for mining. But we are not having any luck. Would you be able to join us? We've brought in sandwiches from-"

Daniel looked at his watch and realized how late it was. And no Jack - which meant no lunch. He glanced over at Nyan, grinned, and asked, "Tuna or chicken salad?"

"Both. And ham with swiss as well as turkey clubs."

"Count me in. Conference room?"

"2A."

"Give me fifteen."

Grinning, Nyan nodded. "It is so good to have you back, Daniel. So very good."

"I missed you too."

~~~

Jack left his office cursing. A few hours at his desk and he'd become a prisoner. Figures there was a reason he'd always ignored the fact that he had an office. Goddamned prison, that's what it was. And now he was late picking up Daniel, and he just knew Carter was waiting, probably already at a table. He quickened his step and hurried around the corner toward Daniel's office, only to run smack into the man himself. Their bodies hit, heads whacked and books and papers went flying. Jack reached out immediately, grabbed Daniel to steady him, and was floored when Daniel angrily yanked his arm away while at the same time, jumping back.

"Whoa, Daniel, it's just me. Are you okay?" Even as he asked, he searched Daniel's face and noted the redness on his forehead where they'd hit. He absently rubbed his own now- sore head.

Blinking up at him, Daniel seemed to need to focus - to be coming back from far away. He gave a small shake of his head, gingerly touched his forehead, and said, "Yeah, yeah, sorry. Should have watched where I was going."

Jack looked at the mess on the floor and started to bend over, but caught himself as Daniel did the same. Once Daniel was down, he squatted next to him and, together, they picked everything up. Once Daniel's arms were loaded down again, Jack said, "What's with all the crap?"

"Meeting, conference room 2A, team stuck on a rug," Daniel said as he used his forearm to shove his glasses back up.

"Stuck on a... rug? Your team is stuck on a rug?"

"Translation - uhm, a tapestry with symbols and the usual suspects. SG-3 thinks it's important and-"

"Okay, okay, I get it. So lunch is out then?"

"Uhm, well, yeah... er, no, er, I mean they have lunch, I'm eating... you know."

"With them," Jack finished for him.

"Yeah."

"Well, you're going to miss a great lunch with me and Carter, but hey, your loss."

"I think I'll survive. Besides, I'm sure you two would rather be alone."

Stunned, Jack found himself speechless as Daniel gave him a small grin and moved around him to continue on his way. "Say hi to Sam for me. I went down to her lab earlier but missed her."

Jack followed Daniel down the corridor with his eyes, still unable to say anything. When Daniel had disappeared around the other corner, Jack let out the lungful of air he hadn't realized he was holding.

What the fuck?

Why would Daniel think he and Carter would want to be alone? And what was with the whole pulling away thing?

Giving a surreptitious look around him, he made a covert attempt at smelling under his arms before heading back the way he'd come.

~~~

Daniel stopped in front of the closed conference room door, not yet ready to walk in. He'd been having difficulty breathing since accidentally slamming into Jack. He could still feel Jack's hand on his arm, burning through his jacket - only it wasn't Jack's hand. The flashback had hit him hard and taken him by surprise.

//"You will do as I say, Thirteen. I own you for the next five hours. I have heard of your inability to conform and I can tell you now that I will not tolerate anything but appropriate Servi-1XY behavior."

The man who had yet to identify himself reached out quickly and grabbed Daniel's arm. He gave him a good yank and literally threw him toward the bed. Daniel stumbled, caught himself and just as he was straightening up, the man gave him a push with a large hand planted between his shoulder blades. He fell onto the bed and a moment later his body was covered by the large Yenaran. He couldn't breathe and it was obvious the Merc couldn't care less. His face was pressed into the rough blanket, his eyes screwed shut as the Merc tore at the thin pants..//

But he could breathe, and Daniel needed to keep telling himself that. Hell, the SGC pumped in gallons and gallons of air every minute, so, of course, he could breathe. And it had been Jack's hand on his arm - no one else's.

Daniel stretched his neck first to the right, then left, and satisfied, opened the door to the conference room and walked in.

~~~

Jack strode into the commissary and spotted Carter immediately. He also found himself grinning.

She wasn't alone - Jacob was with her.

There was a god.

Once at the table, Jacob rose long enough to shake hands. "You look good, Jack."

"Feel good, Jacob. Fishing will do that for a guy."

"I thought Teal'c said there were no fish in your lake, sir?"

"I didn't say catching fish, Carter," he said as he pulled out a chair and sat down. "I said fishing. Casting your line, putting your feet up on the beer cooler, hat pulled low over your eyes, the breeze keeping the mosquitoes away, and the silence of the woods around you. That's fishing, Major."

"Ah. How did I not know that?" she said, her lips twitching upward.

"Because you've never been fishing?" Jack said.

"That would be it, Sammy."

"Okay, on that note, I'm getting in line. Chicken Cacciatore today."

"I thought the pork chops were on the menu?" Jack asked as he and Jacob fell in line behind her.

"They are, but I don't want pork chops, I want-"

"Let me guess: Chicken Cacciatore?"

"Got it in one, sir."

~~~

"So when is Teal'c due back?"

"Tomorrow. He didn't want to leave without seeing Rya'c," Sam answered while buttering her roll.

"Who was on another recruiting mission with Bra'tac," Jack explained.

"Ah." Jacob glanced around the room and asked, "So where's Daniel?"

"I asked him but he had a meeting with his people - something about a rug that needed translating."

Jacob put the soup spoon down. "Excuse me? A rug?"

"You invited him to join us?" asked a clearly surprised Carter at the same time. Both men looked at her and she shrugged. "What?"

"Why wouldn't he, Sam? The team is separated for three months, you come home, are off and apart for another two weeks, hell, I'd think you'd want to touch bases."

"Which reminds me. Carter," Jack interrupted. "Daniel said to tell you hi. He went down to your lab earlier today but missed you."

"Oh. I must have been with dad. I guess."

"So how is Daniel?" Jacob asked, a small frown on his face as he watched his daughter.

"He's fine," Jack said. "Oddly jumpy though. Or maybe it was just excitement... or something."

Eyes back on Jack, Jacob asked, "What do you mean?"

"I don't know. We bumped into each other - literally - and when I reached for him, to steady him, he acted as though I'd set him on fire or something. But it could just be me. I could have imagined it."

Jacob pushed his mashed potatoes around on his plate, and said thoughtfully, "Funny action from a guy who's just had two weeks off, don't you think?"

"Like I said - oddly jumpy."

"Oh, come on, sir. No disrespect intended, but Daniel with something new to translate usually means that he acts kind of wonky."

Two sets of brown eyes looked at her and she said, "What?"

"Wonky?" Jacob asked.

"Wonky, Carter?"

"Well, he does," she groused.

"This wasn't 'wonky', Carter. I know Daniel's moods better than I know my own. Wonky doesn't cover it." He knew his tone was sharp, but he couldn't help it. He suddenly felt the need to... defend... his friend. And why he should have to... let alone from Carter..

"I'm just saying," she said as she dug back into her lunch.

"Jack, I can honestly say that you've been a bad influence on my daughter. She's starting to sound like you."

Jack gave a mock shiver. "Anything but that, Jacob. Anything but that."

~~~

Daniel turned the rug and lifted the magnifying glass again. He bent over, barely aware of the voices of his team as they discussed the symbols. He could hear Nyan arguing with Peterson but he tuned them out in order to concentrate. Until..

". thirteen?"

He dropped the magnifying glass, whipped his head around and said, "Yes?"

Nyan cocked his head and, puzzled, "Daniel?"

Blinking as if returning from a great distance, Daniel said, "Didn't you... didn't you call me?"

"No, Daniel. We were talking about this," he tapped one of the symbols on the rug, "and why there seem to be so many dark representations of the number thirteen."

"Oh," Daniel said lamely. "Sorry." He looked over at the area Nyan had alluded to and said, "From what I've seen so far, we're looking at a very superstitious people. We know this," he pointed at the bright circle in the middle of the rug, "is represented seven times," he tapped each of the other circles, all bright, but considerably smaller, "so seven would seem to represent much the same for the Nigones as it does for us. Namely a lucky number. Colonel Martins said that the town was circular, the primary building, their temple, was circular, and all wore the same necklace, the circle pendant. I suspect that represents the Stargate."

He was talking fast, and he knew it, but the room was getting darker and he was holding on by the skin of his teeth. His stomach was rebelling and he was praying he could hold it together a bit longer.

"Therefore, I think we've already passed one part of the test. I would suggest to SG-3 that they take SG-15 with them when they return."

Everyone around the table froze in the middle of whatever they'd been doing. At the far end, Doctor Sula repeated, "SG-15? Why?"

"They're a three person team. Four members for SG-3, three for SG-15. Seven members."

Everyone looked at each other and finally back at Daniel. They smiled.

"Man, we missed you, Daniel," Doctor Efraim said.

~~~

Daniel smiled, nodded, agreed on the time for their "I'm buying" lunch meeting tomorrow, and made his hasty exit. He ducked into one of the bathrooms and quickly locked himself into a stall - whereupon he lost the meager contents of his stomach.

He'd answered to... "thirteen."

He'd actually answered to thirteen.

Daniel unrolled some of the toilet paper and wiped his mouth before sitting back on his haunches.

It was a damn number. It came after twelve and before fourteen. It meant nothing - except to the Nigones and other highly superstitious people - of which he wasn't.

He closed his eyes and rested his head against the stall door.

"Daniel? Are you all right?"

Nyan.

Without opening his eyes, he said, "I'm fine. I think it was the coleslaw."

"You are the only one who ate any of it. Perhaps I should call Doctor Frasier?"

"No, Nyan. Not necessary. Already over. I'll be out in a minute, okay?"

"If you are certain?"

"I am."

"All right. I will wait for you outside, just to make certain that you are well."

Daniel heard the door close and slowly rose to his feet. He flushed the toilet, opened the stall door and walked unsteadily to the sink. After splashing water on his face and rinsing his mouth several times, he felt somewhat normal again. He checked his pockets and was grateful when he found a packet of gum. He popped a stick into his mouth and, after chewing for several seconds, walked out to meet Nyan.

~~~

Back in the haven of his office, he brushed his teeth two times, gargled, spit, and finally went back to work on the tower photos.

An hour later, eyes burning, he was grateful when Jack walked in.

"Missed you at lunch. Jacob and Selmac said to say hi, by the way."

"We got a lot done on the rug, but still, sorry I missed you guys. I've yet to see Sam at all today. Is she okay? Adjusting all right?"

"She's fine."

"Good. Good."

"Still working on the tower photos?"

Daniel looked down at the pictures and nodded. "Nothing else in my box, so, yeah, still having fun with it."

"Ah. So... dinner tonight?"

"Dinner usually happens, Jack. Breakfast followed by lunch followed by dinner."

"I mean dinner at my place, asshole."

"Wow, after a heartfelt invitation like that, how could I refuse?"

"Sweet. Six okay?"

"I'll be there."

Jack nodded, but made no move to leave. He did a little half twist on the stool but remained in place, albeit silent. Finally Daniel said, "Jack?"

"Hammond isn't going to assign us any missions for... a while."

Daniel noticed that Jack was doing his "I'm not happy" fiddling, the item being fiddled with in this case -- Daniel's good NASA pen. It was obvious Jack was upset, so Daniel turned off the small magnifying glass light and focused all his attention on his friend. "So what's up with that?"

"Some kind of we-need-time-yadda-yadda crap. Personally, I think we need to get back on that round blow-hole of a horse and as soon as possible. But who's asking me?"

"You had horses while you were working with the Yenarans?" Daniel asked innocently.

Jack dropped Daniel's pen and looked up at him, brown eyes wide. "Daniel?"

"Mmm?"

Jack's eyes narrowed with suspicion. "You dick."

Daniel grinned.

"I take it this news doesn't bother you?"

"It bothers me if it bothers you - and since it does, then yes, the news bothers me."

Jack made like he was shaking water out of his ear and said, "You really are a dick."

Daniel indicated Jack's head and asked, "Anything worthwhile come out? Anything I should get off the floor and try to stuff back in?"

"You remember those planes that skywrite in the sky, right?"

Wondering where this was going, Daniel slowly nodded.

"Well, I have a friend who does it on the weekends. I'm going to have him write, 'Daniel is a dick' in the sky over Colorado Springs. Maybe all weekend."

"Don't forget to add the epilogue: 'But Jack is a putz'."

"So all this to say that you don't really care that we're grounded for at least another two weeks?"

Daniel regarded Jack from behind his glasses and finally reached over and 'knocked' on his friend's head. "Hello? How grounded do you think we'll be if I figure out this little code?"

Jack brightened immediately. "Oh, yeah. Hey, I shouldn't be interrupting you then, should I? You should be hard at work here, so I'm going to amscray, thataway."

Daniel laughed outright at that and then watched in surprise as Jack got up and started for the door. "Jack?"

"Work, Daniel. Bury that head of yours in work and save me from paperwork, okay? Save me from the boredom of counting supplies with Siler, from catching up on reports, from-"

"Jack, there are no reports to catch up on. You've been-"

"I was two months behind before our last mission," Jack said glumly.

"Oh. Yes. Well. Now we know why Hammond's grounded us." He wagged a finger at him. "All your fault, Jack. All your fault."

Walking out, Jack made little chatter motions with his hand.

Once his door was closed, Daniel frowned. Hammond had shut them down? Suddenly a coldness spread through him.

Janet.

He got up and hurried out.

Part 5

"Daniel, what brings you down here?" Janet looked at the empty beds and shook her head. "No, no member of SG-1 snuck in injured while I wasn't looking."

"Ha-ha." Daniel looked around, grabbed Janet's arm, and led her into one of the private rooms. Once inside, he said, "Hammond grounded us, Janet. Jack's pretty upset, so please tell me you're not responsible? That I'm not responsible?"

She slipped her arm out from his under his hand and said, "You're not. General Hammond felt that it would be better for all of you to have some time doing, and I quote, 'mundane' things for a bit before going through the 'Gate again. I can't say that I disagree with him."

Penetrating blue eyes searched her face for any sign of a lie and, finding only honesty, Daniel nodded. "Okay. Sorry I jumped all over you."

Janet smiled. "Is that what you call jumping all over someone? My ex should have taken lessons from you. I might still be married."

Daniel grinned sheepishly and started to guide her out and back into the Infirmary. As they walked, Janet gave him a good look, and not happy with all that she was seeing, asked, "So how are you?"

Without breaking his stride, Daniel said, "Never better."

This time it was Janet who grabbed Daniel's arm. "Daniel, I don't see any weight back on that frame of yours. Now truth?"

Half-smile in place, Daniel said, "Really, I'm fine. And you know me and eating regularly. You shouldn't be surprised."

"Good point. But just to be sure, I want to see you one week from today and I'll expect an improvement, understood?"

He gave her a brilliant grin. "Naturally. Guess I'll need to pork out on chocolate malts and chocolate walnut cookies."

~~~

Five days later-

Daniel looked at his bedroom and sighed. This was the third time he'd rearranged it. In three weeks.

He stepped back, wiped his face with the bottom of his shirt, and decided something cool was in order. He walked out and down the hall and into the kitchen. Grabbing a bottled water, he twisted the cap off, tossed it on to the counter and walked out his back door. Bare feet hitting the grass, he walked around the corner to his yard and stood for several minutes, in the sunshine, sipping his cold water. It was moments like these where the darkness fled - albeit momentarily. His yard was alive with color and the sun beat down on him, chasing the ugly cobwebs of memory away.

He could breathe.

But as with all good things, he had to go back inside. Maybe it was time for the piano again.

~~~

Saturday --

Daniel slammed the cover on piano down. Hard. Damn it. No matter what he played, it ended up dark and moody and stifling.

He wiped at the sweat that covered his upper lip and then rubbed his whole face vigorously. This wasn't working. And the sun was going down fast. He jumped up and started pacing. Okay, he could work through this. He could.

He had to. What other choice did he have?

Ten hours later, waking up in bed, covered with sweat, his heart beating so rapidly he could barely track it, Daniel realized that "working through this" wasn't happening.

~~~

Sunday -

Janet turned the radio down when she heard the doorbell. She wiped her hands, dropped the dishcloth on the counter and hurried to answer the door.

"Daniel?"

"Hi." He stood on her porch looking very uncomfortable. "I... can I come in?"

"God, sorry. Of course." She stepped aside and he walked in and past her. He turned to face her as she shut the door.

"Is Cassie here?"

"No, she's at the mall with friends, why?"

He looked around, eyes darting all over the room, clearly nervous. In looking at him in the bright light of her living room, she realized that he'd probably lost a bit more weight. Damn.

"I... uhm. I wanted to ask you something."

Before he could say anything else, something in the kitchen pinged. Janet looked over her shoulder and then back at Daniel. "Hang on a minute, let me turn off the oven, all right?"

He nodded and gave her a bright smile. She hurried into the kitchen, switched it off, and on her way back - paused. The smile had been too bright, his blue eyes too dark. She moved to the doorway, wanting only to observe him a few moments. He was still standing in the same spot, his back to her, hands shoved into the pockets of his faded jeans. He was wearing a yellow polo shirt, the material stretched tightly across his shoulder blades. He looked utterly different than he did during the week, at the mountain.

It hit her then.

Daniel's... maleness.

It hit her intellectually, in a kind of "Oh, my God" way. It hit her below the belt.

Daniel had always been... Daniel. When she'd first met him, he'd been this younger than young genius whose mind was beyond her comprehension. He'd also lost his wife and was hell bent on finding her again. Then he'd been a widower, but by that time, he was like the younger brother she'd never had. And now, she was seeing him in a whole different light.

Daniel Jackson was handsome - maybe even beautiful in his handsomeness, and one hundred percent male. Suddenly she could see the whole "XY" thing, could see how he'd appeal to even the Yenarans. And like his looks and his maleness, the feelings of what he'd been through hit her. It was one thing to know that he'd spent three months servicing soldiers while the other three members of his team were fairly comfortable, but now, to see him as the Yenarans must have seen him, to understand the lure in a strangely clinical manner, tore at her like nothing else. Hell, she'd seen the physical remains of what he'd been through - seen the scarring, and yet... damn it.

Now, watching him, she asked herself again, as she'd asked upon SG-1's return: What had it cost him?

What was it costing him now? How hard was it to keep it all bottled up inside while trying to deal with it from within his incredible mind and coming up against a wall of emotions?

Janet wiped her now sweaty palms down along her jean-clad legs, took a deep breath, and walked over to her friend.

"Sorry about that. A pie for dinner," she said apologetically.

"Oh, hey, I'm the intruder here." He sniffed the air and smiled. "Apple?"

She grinned. "Apple. Cassie's favorite."

He nodded knowingly. For a moment, they stood watching each other, the time awkward. Finally Daniel pulled one hand out of a pocket, shoved his glasses back up his nose, and said, "I'm thinking that I'm not dealing as well as I thought... maybe." He grinned at her, a very sheepish looking grin, before adding, "I was thinking. I might need to talk to someone... maybe. But since it can't be anyone... can't be... you know.."

Reacting from a gut level, Janet took his hand, led him into the kitchen, sat him down, and walked over to the coffee pot. She got down a mug, poured, added a touch of whiskey, then walked over to the table and set the steaming cup in front of him. She took a seat opposite him and waited. "Thanks."

"No problem. Care to tell me what makes you think you're not handling things well?" She kept her voice low and tone even.

"Well, it strikes me as not dealing when you find yourself suddenly obsessive about cleaning, gardening, and rearranging your furniture, you know? And while neatness counts, it's not one of my real obsessions. And for me, once a piece of furniture is down, it's down for life. At least, that's how it's always been in the past. And then there's the whole lack of... you know... need to... and I don't. You know?"

She digested the personality changes he was describing and held them back for a moment while she tackled the easier of his "symptoms" She smiled slightly as she said, "Daniel, I'd be very surprised if your libido were fully functioning after what you've been through. You're intelligent enough to know that too. The absence of desire is perfectly natural."

"I know. But. I have no desire of any kind. Not even the one-handed version, which given my work schedule, is kind of... my norm." He ducked his head and hid his embarrassed grin while swirling the mug around between his hands. "But there's more."

Janet wasn't surprised. She nodded encouragingly and said, "I suspected as much. Go on."

"I'm not one for... moods, you know? But since returning, well, I thought things would get better. But they're haven't. The whole cleaning and rearranging thing is actually an attempt to keep these odd moods away. I've cleaned my place more times than you could count, I sit at the piano for hours to avoid the moods, but they're there, on the edge, and growing darker every day." He glanced back up at her, his blue eyes shaded with what Janet could only describe as fear. "I can't let this affect my work or SG-1. I can't risk... them." He glanced back down at the coffee. "I need help, Janet, but it can't be... you know, the Air Force."

Janet looked him over carefully, while appearing to simply be considering his plight. She didn't miss the new circles under his eyes nor the pallor to his skin. She noted the slender fingers spinning the coffee mug and thought that his wrists looked too... bony.

Staring at her friend, she couldn't help but wonder if anything would have been different if she'd not given in? If ..

MacKenzie.

The name almost yelled itself in her mind and she mentally shook her head. No, she realized, things would probably be worse. Considerably.

"Daniel, I have a friend, he's retired Air Force. A psychologist, lives in Boulder. Would you be willing to talk with him? It would be tricky because... he'd have to know more than we should tell him, but without all the information, he simply couldn't-"

"I know. I know." Suddenly Daniel got up, the coffee forgotten. "God, what have I done to you? Look at what I'm asking you to do now, not to mention the fact that top secret information would have to be shared. And for what? Hell, I should just resign. I should-"

Janet was up in a flash and by his side. "No, Daniel. That isn't the answer. Frank left the Air Force because he always put his patients first and wanted to continue to do so. But certain... rules... made it increasingly difficult. But he's loyal and a good man. We can trust him implicitly. Let me call him, give him all the information, all right? And he can, in turn, call you if he agrees. Sound fair?"

Daniel turned hurting and questioning eyes on her and, for the first time in all the years she'd known him, she felt she was actually seeing him. No surface "I'm fine" crap, no "don't worry about me" crap, just. Daniel. Confused, afraid, vulnerable, and hurting like she'd never seen anyone hurt. He was about to answer her when she put her finger to his lips. "No, wait. Before you decide, consider this: something brought you here today, Daniel, and that's a good sign. You know you don't want to leave the SGC or SG-1 and you were willing to risk everything by coming over and asking for help to ensure that didn't happen. Again, a very good sign. But maybe of equal importance - I think you're worth it. And not only because of your value to the SGC, but because I care about you. You're my friend and this is what friends do." She waited a heartbeat while he digested her words, and as surprise brightened his eyes, she asked, "Will you let me call him?"

Daniel stared at her as if searching for something, and she prayed he could see only hope and love in her eyes. Finally he nodded, "Okay."

~~~

Four and a half weeks later -

Daniel crossed his legs and tried to get more comfortable.

"You could move to the couch, Daniel."

"No way. I swore that if I ever ended up - well, you know - that I wouldn't be caught dead lying down on the couch." He grinned and added, "This is fine, really."

"I believe you. But that," he indicated the leather sofa, "is my real couch and I was only suggesting you take it because it's more comfortable."

"Oh. Right." Feeling ridiculous, Daniel got up and moved toward the sofa. "Okay, this is much better," he admitted with a sheepish grin.

Hiding his own smile, Frank Letterer, late of the Air Force, said, "So how did the exercise I gave you work?"

"It didn't," Daniel said, voice flat.

"It rarely does, but I'm supposed to suggest it," Frank said, hoping to get a smile out of his patient. It worked.

"Very funny, Frank. Very funny."

He shrugged and said, "I do my best. Need to put my patients at ease, you know."

"I'm at ease, already. Ten visits in four weeks and I couldn't be more at ease."

Frank looked at Daniel from over the rim of his glasses. "Right. At ease. That's why you're chewing gum again?"

Daniel promptly swallowed the gum. "Sorry."

"Daniel, this is supposed to help you deal, not make things worse."

"I know. I know. And really, the dark moods are almost gone. I'm working hard and playing well with others. Can't ask for much more than that."

"And yet?"

"And yet... we're still Earth-bound, and I can't crack a code that I should have been able to do with my hands tied behind my back."

"Daniel, you know you're not the reason SG-1 is still grounded. You said yourself that Teal'c was held up and only rejoined you all last week, and that Major Carter needed more time with-"

"Yeah, yeah," Daniel said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

Then his whole expression and demeanor changed and Frank knew that Daniel was now somewhere else, somewhere other than this office for the reason he needed to be here.

"You know what I don't get?"

"What, Daniel?" Frank said carefully.

"I don't get how Sam could wait three weeks before seeing Pete."

Okay, that came out of left field. But since nothing with Daniel was ever simple, and everything had to do with everything else, Frank decided to go with it. "Care to explain?"

"Oh, she called him as soon as she was allowed, don't get me wrong," Daniel went on as if Frank had never said anything. "But to wait weeks before seeing him? Before letting him come? What's with that?"

"I don't know, what do you think is with it?"

Daniel blinked at him and suddenly grinned. "Well, what do you know, you finally sounded like a psychologist. Wonders never cease."

Frank just cocked his head.

"You know, the whole 'what do you think' thing you guys have going. We talk, you nod knowingly, say a few 'mmm's', and then follow up with the 'what do you think' crap."

"And I don't normally do that?"

"Nope. You talk almost as much as you try to make me talk."

"Until now, that is."

"Yeah, until now."

Frank smiled. "So answer the question. What do you think is up with what Major Carter did?"

Daniel shrugged. "I don't know, it was just... odd. Not that she didn't look happy seeing him, because she did. I was in the parking lot when he drove in to pick her up for lunch."

Daniel's expression changed again as he appeared to be reliving that moment. A faint smile touched his lips and Frank enjoyed seeing it. The smile was real.

"She looked so young," Daniel said softly, "and relaxed. She moved into his arms so easily and it made me wonder because, of course, she's in love with.."

Daniel's voice trailed off as if realizing that he was about to say something he shouldn't. Frank leaned forward and said, "In love with?"

Now it was Daniel's turn to cock his head. "And this has to do with me... how?"

Chuckling, Frank sat back and gave a small shake of his head. "And this, my dear audience, is Doctor Daniel Jackson in psychologist mode."

Daniel joined him the laugh, but Frank didn't miss the fact that the humor never reached Daniel's eyes. He thought it might be time to get to the crux of the matter.

"Okay, so the dark moods are lifting, which begs the question: how's your sex drive?"

When Daniel's face went grey and he didn't answer right away, Frank reached into his pocket and withdrew a stick of gum. "Here," he said as he offered it to Daniel.

"Thanks," Daniel mumbled as he took it, unwrapped it, and popped it into his mouth.

"Any security blanket in a storm, Daniel," Frank said with a gentle smile. He waited until Daniel seemed to visibly relax before asking, "You know what I'm wondering?"

"No, what?"

"I'm wondering when we're going to get to the heart of your real problem. Intellectually, you've accepted the decision you made on Segev, you know that and so do I. Even emotionally, there's an acceptance now that didn't exist several days ago. But something is still very much there, on the edge, and you know what it is, but refuse to give it a name."

Daniel plucked up a decorative pillow and managed to hug it to himself - without appearing to be doing so. Frank thought the man in front of him might be the only person who could have gotten away with such a motion -- pride intact.

"So?" he finally said.

"So? I'm probably not giving it a name because I don't know what you're talking about."

"Fine. Let's skip that for a moment and go back to Major Carter. Who do you think she's in love with if not the oh-so-patient Pete?"

"What, is this the gossip hour?"

"Who do you think she's in love with, Daniel?" Frank persisted, knowing somehow that it was significant to cracking Daniel's protective veneer.

Daniel made to get up as he said, "I think my time is up."

"I'll say when your time is up, Daniel. Who is she in love with?"

"This is ridiculous."

"Who is she in love with?"

"Jack. Okay? She's in love with Jack."

In dealing with the minds of men and women, Frank had learned over the years that for him, lightning could strike at the oddest of times, clarity hitting him over the head and telling him the secrets to his patients.

This was one of those moments.

For three weeks, he'd talked and listened to Daniel, having been immediately intrigued by Janet Fraiser's phone call four and half weeks ago. He'd found the man incredibly intelligent and with a past that would have destroyed the average individual. In order to save time, Janet had, with Daniel's permission, given him a copy of Daniel's medical file... with all its attending explanations and history. After reading it, Frank had expected... hell, even now he didn't know what he'd expected to walk into his home that Tuesday, four weeks ago. Certainly not the man sitting on his couch today.

Now, one very important clue to Daniel Jackson had just been revealed, and Frank wasn't sure how to use it to help his patient. He decided to keep it impersonal for now, to concentrate on the peripheral problem.

"So she looks happy with Pete, but she's in love with her commanding officer," Frank mused. "Tricky situation for a career Air Force officer like Major Carter. Do you think she's settling?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Yes. Er... actually, until that moment, yes, I thought so. But the way her eyes lit up and she almost ran to him... and yet, she'd seemed content to not see him for weeks. I mean, he must have been as worried as anyone else about the fact that we were MIA. And it had to have been a literal hell for him." He paused and cocked his head. "Know what the first thing Jack did when we returned?" He didn't wait for an answer. "He called his family in Chicago. Same with Teal'c. Er... okay, Teal'c didn't call anyone, but you know what I mean. And Sam called her brother Mark, and she, Jacob and Mark talked for over an hour. And yet, when she called Pete, it was actually the second day we'd been home."

Curious, Frank asked, "Who did you call first, Daniel?"

Blue eyes blinked uncomprehendingly at him. "Huh?"

"Who did you call first?"

"Me? No one. No one to call. Air Force took care of my home. Besides, Jack was kind of there, you know?"

Yes, Frank did know. But even now, he wondered if Daniel did.

"Your best friend," he said softly.

"Yeah, he is."

"Is he in love with Major Carter?"

Daniel looked down at his hands, which were now gripping the pillow and scrunching the material. "I... think... yeah. Yeah."

"Hurts, doesn't it?" Frank asked, voice low and gentle.

Daniel's head shot up and Frank found himself pinned by an angry blue gaze.

"What kind of question is that? The only thing that hurts is that they're wasting so much precious time. They love each other and yet.."

"And yet, neither appears willing to do what it would take for them to be together, isn't that what you were going to say?"

"Yeah," Daniel said quietly. "And I don't understand it. I'd do anything to be with. I mean, if two people love each other, and they face death as often as we do, how can they turn away from that love? They need it and they deserve it."

"There are regulations-"

"Regulations be damned. They mean nothing to Jack or Sam. Not where it counts, not considering what they do on an almost daily basis. For god's sake, they've saved the world countless times! You don't think they deserve to be together? Should be together?"

"You really want to know what I think, Daniel?"

"What?"

"I think that if Jack O'Neill loved Sam Carter and believed that she truly loved him - nothing could keep him from her. Nothing. No regulations, nothing. That's what I think." He stood up and stretched. "And now, our time for today is really and truly up."

"What? Wait, you can't just-"

"Daniel, you need to think about everything - and I mean everything - that we've talked about today. I'll see you on Thursday, all right?"

Stunned, Daniel got to his feet and dropped the pillow. "You know, if I weren't already crazy, you'd drive me there, Frank."

Laughing, Frank slapped him on the back and said, "You're not crazy, Daniel, trust me on that."

"Oh, believe me, I do. It's what keeps me going, Frank."

~~~

Thursday -

Jack looked hopefully over at Hammond. He held back the urge to rock forward on the ball of his feet. Finally, when Hammond said nothing, Jack said, "Sir?"

"I'm not convinced that sending SG-1 on a mission now is the best thing, but neither is there any reason not to send you. Especially since this is a simple follow-up mission." He glanced up at Jack and added, "So Colonel O'Neill, you and your team have a go."

Jack let out the breath he'd been holding, saluted smartly, and said, "Yes, sir."

Holding back his grin, Hammond added, "Briefing tomorrow, eight hundred hours. You'll ship out at thirteen hundred hours. Any questions?"

"No, General."

"Good." Hammond picked up his pen and started clicking it. "I'm curious, Jack. Has Doctor Jackson made any headway with the tower translation?" "No, sir. But as I've explained, this is a long term task. But I have every confidence that Daniel will break the code."

"So do I, Colonel. So do I. However, has he seemed a bit distracted to you lately? Frankly, I'm worried about him."

Jack couldn't argue. He was worried too, and had been for weeks. Because Daniel had been easily distracted. No, distracted was the wrong word. It was more as if he'd lost the ability to concentrate, as if something were getting in the way.

"I wonder if you've considered the fact that while Major Carter had support from her father, brother and Detective Shanahan, and Teal'c had his family, and you, yours, Daniel... well, Daniel didn't. The family he was separated from for three months was you, Major Carter and Teal'c."

Suddenly a barbecue that never happened took on greater significance for Jack. Had the four of them even been together once since Teal'c's return? And before that, had he, Carter and Daniel gotten together? No to all of the above. In fact... had Sam even seen Daniel, other than in passing? Wait, there was that lunch... no, Sam was called away before Daniel arrived.

"Shit," he finally said.

"Appropriate Air Force officer response," Hammond commented dryly.

"My apologies, General. I just realized that... as difficult as this might be to believe, the four of us haven't been together once since-"

Hammond sat up. "Colonel? I find that hard to believe. You four are... you've always been more than a team, spent time together after hours, on the weekends."

"I know, I know. And it's not that Daniel and I haven't, because we have. Not as often as we should have in the last weeks, but there have been a couple of lunches, a Friday game night.."

His voice trailed off as he realized how long ago the Friday game night had taken place.

"Maybe it's time for a team get-together, Colonel," Hammond advised quietly. "You know how important teamwork is, especially on an SG team. I don't have to tell you that, do I?"

"No, General. And I agree with you, but at the same time, I find it difficult to believe that missing a few team functions would leave Daniel as distracted as we've both noticed."

"Is it possible that... well, that he bonded with someone back on Segev? Could he have made a few friendships, perhaps? His life there was very different from yours."

"You mean, could he be missing the Yenarans?"

"Something like that."

Jack thought about that for a moment, and while it certainly could be possible... okay, given Daniel's penchant for making alien friends, it was more than possible, but surely he would have said something... right?

"Shit."

Hammond shook his head helplessly. "I take it that my idea has some merit?"

"It's... possible, General. But there's no solution. I hardly think we should flag down the Prometheus for a quick trip to-"

"No, I suspect the President would have something to say about that. Although the future may hold just such a journey."

"And I hope I'm busy, retired or dead when that particular future rolls around."

"Yes, well. In the meantime, perhaps a nice team gathering with some time devoted to finding out what we can do to help Doctor Jackson?"

Jack nodded and rose to his feet. "I'll take care of this right away, General, and thank you."

Part 6

Walking toward his office, Jack decided that he'd better tackle Carter and Teal'c first in arranging the "get together". No sense in getting Daniel excited only to have Carter come up with some reason..

There couldn't be a reason. He turned left instead of right and headed for Daniel's office.

~~~

"Daniel?"

No Daniel. Office empty. How odd.

"Colonel O'Neill?"

He turned around to find himself facing Nyan. He grinned. "Nyan, long time no see. How's it hanging?"

Frowning as if he should know how to answer, but didn't, Nyan said almost reluctantly, "Nothing is hanging, Colonel O'Neill."

"Right. So, do you know where Daniel might be?"

"He had an appointment and left the mountain approximately an hour ago. He assured me he'd be back by three."

"An appointment? Daniel?"

Nyan simply nodded as he walked over to Daniel's table and dropped a folder into the "in-basket". "We are having a department meeting at three, so I am certain he will have returned by then."

"Ah, of course. Would you tell Daniel - no, never mind. I'll catch him after the meeting. Good seeing you, Nyan." With that, he walked out, but his mind was on the idea that Daniel had an appointment. It couldn't be anything like a dentist or doctor appointment as that was all handled here on base, and damn, he couldn't think of a single other reason for "an appointment."

Maybe Daniel had a date. A lunch date.

Daniel. Date.

Jack shivered.

~~~

"So I was thinking, this Saturday, barbecue at my place. Whatcha think?"

He was standing on the other side of Carter's worktable, watching his 2IC working on some doodad with Teal'c's assistance. At his words, they both looked up, Teal'c with a huge smile on his face - a smile that actually seemed - odd.

"Teal'c, don't do that."

"Do what, O'Neill?"

"Smile like... that." He wiggled his finger at Teal'c's mouth.

Naturally that brought Teal'c's eyebrow up in a nice McDonald's arch kind of way. "I am simply showing my appreciation of the invitation, O'Neill."

"Riight. So Carter, you a go?"

"Sounds good to me, sir. Although dad is supposed to arrive sometime tomorrow."

"Hey, I have no problem with Jacob joining us. He's practically a member of the team, if the most schizoid member."

"Then we're definitely a go, sir."

"Great-"

He got no further as the sound of the klaxons interrupted him. When it was followed by the ever-popular "Unauthorized 'Gate activation", all three took off on the run.

~~~

//. but Doctor Jackson managed to quell their unrest and their invasion of the SGC was placed on hold. Permanent hold.//

Jack looked at the words he'd typed into his computer and grinned. Quell. Only he could use that word in this report. He was a real card, he was. All of which reminded him of the last several days, and how very... different they'd been.

Thanks to Colonel Bryant, leader of SG-20, the negotiations between the Quell, a tribe SG-1 had befriended six months earlier, had come to a sudden, angry halt. Bryant had failed to follow Daniel's directions on how to speak with the Quell and ended up insulting them, their leader, Kotash, and his lovely, if somewhat rotund, daughter, Leko. Hence the unauthorized gate activity that had interrupted Jack and his invitation to his team for an at-home barbecue.

The invasion, which began on Friday, would have been humorous, if they hadn't had to work so hard not to hurt any of the Quell. And that had definitely become more difficult when the Quell took Daniel captive. Personally, Jack blamed Colonel Harold "Skip" Bryant. Not only had it been his foolishness that prompted the "invasion", but then he'd had the audacity to give the Quell actual permission to invade Earth. Oh, sure, he'd done the right thing when faced with Kotash politely requesting that he and his warriors be allowed to invade the SGC, knowing full well that it would be handled with the kid-glove care that such an invasion required, but still, Jack had aged yet another five years when Kotash had, again politely, requested that Daniel become his prisoner.

War and invasions, as practiced by the Quell, were a very polite affair.

Jack was damn certain that he could now boast at least another ten gray hairs, all thanks to that wonderful moment when Daniel had said, "Why, Kotash, I'd be honored to be your first prisoner. And perhaps you'll allow me the opportunity to undo the damage done by Colonel Bryant?"

For all Daniel's ease, becoming a prisoner of the Quell while they "occupied" the ramp of the 'Gate room was no simple feat. For the next several hours - ten to be exact - Daniel had been forced to stand at the top of the ramp, a sharp pointy thing at his throat, and both apologize and convince the Quell that their invasion was unnecessary and that the alliance with Earth and the "Taur'i" was a very valuable thing.

While Bryant and his team slept, Daniel talked. While shifts changed, Daniel talked. His voice never wavered, his gentle, apologetic smile never dimmed.

In the end, after a total of fifteen hours, the Quell announced that the invasion was over and that once again they were willing to enter into negotiations with Earth and the SGC.

Oh, joy.

Unfortunately, the new negotiations extended into -- and beyond -- the weekend, which meant the barbecue fell by the wayside. So had the planned talk with Daniel. But now, on Wednesday, life was finally returning to normal. The Quell had left earlier that morning, all negotiations finally sewn up, thanks to Daniel, who'd been sent home and told in no uncertain terms that he was not to set foot back in the SGC until Monday. It was a testament to his exhaustion that he hadn't so much as blinked. It was also proof of said exhaustion that he'd been driven home.

But damn, Jack was proud of him. Daniel had done in just a few days what the SGC and SG-20 hadn't been able to complete in months. And while the treaty with the Quell wouldn't result in weapons for Earth, it would result in incredible agricultural advancements. Nothing to sneeze at in a world where over one third of its total population was starving.

He finished up the last of his report, hit print and, once the pages had been spun out of his printer, gathered them up and placed them neatly inside the report cover. After securing it inside an envelope for General Hammond, he looked at his watch and figured there was time to catch up with Carter. Teal'c was already a go for the barbecue on Saturday, which worked out well as it would give Daniel a couple of days of rest before partying. Jack smiled at that. He was tempted to call his friend, but knew that he'd just be getting home and hopefully climbing into bed. He'd call him tomorrow. Late tomorrow. For now, he'd phone down to Carter's lab and get her confirmed, along with Jacob, who'd finally been allowed to 'Gate in just a mere hour ago.

Talk about a worried father.

Although, now that Jack thought about it, Jacob had almost immediately asked about Daniel. He'd cracked a joke about the SGC entertaining invading armies even while his eyes had been searching out Jack's archaeologist.

Okay, enough on Jacob. Time to give Carter a call. He picked up the phone and punched in her lab number. When Siler picked up, Jack knew Carter was gone for the day. Once Siler confirmed that she'd left - with her father - Jack thanked him and hung up.

So he'd confirm tomorrow.

He powered off his computer, straightened his desk up a bit, and headed out. Once he'd changed into his civvies, he made his way to the elevator. Riding up, he immediately flashed on Carter in the 'Gate room, answering Jacob's query about Daniel.

"He's fine, Dad."

Just like that.

Daniel had already been sent home, voice barely there and looking all the world like a man who'd died but no one had told him yet, but Carter simply took her father's arm and marched out of the 'Gate room.

Jack exited the final elevator and headed out of the mountain, but he wasn't entirely aware of his surroundings as he pondered the weeks since their return. He felt as though Carter's behavior where Daniel was concerned was symptomatic of something deeply wrong - somewhere. He personally felt as though he were on the edge of a cliff and if just the right breeze came along, he'd be pushed off. And he wanted the breeze because there was something there, just beyond his reach and he knew it was important, and damn it, he really needed that breeze because maybe a short flight would put whatever the hell it was - within his grasp.

~~~

Daniel let the water pound down on him as he tried to will his body to relax. Eyes closed, he held still and tried to drift..

Only to be brought up short of his goal. He groaned low in his throat and tried another tack. A bit of shower-like meditation, maybe.

Nope. Not working.

Daniel could feel the anger that he'd managed to tamp down during the negotiations with the Quell, rising; something it had been doing since leaving the mountain.

Sluggish but powerful, like lava, it moved up, ready to explode forth..

So time to try another something else. Time to imagine that he was not alone in the shower.

He shook his arms loose and rotated his head from side to side. All right, he had the heat, the steam and a good imagination.

Daniel closed his eyes again and conjured up his companion. Taller by two inches, broader in the shoulders, Daniel could almost feel the man behind him. He smiled dreamily as he imagined a tan arm encircling his waist and pulling him back against a chest lightly covered with hair. If Daniel tried real hard, he could almost feel -- Jack's --breath against his ear and an exciting hardness pressed against him.

Daniel groaned in misery because it was a hardness he himself was lacking. He opened his eyes and glanced down.

Nothing, damn it. Still nothing.

The frustration, coupled with the ever-building anger, reached the surface, and while it didn't overflow, it did bring him around to face the showerhead, fist raised to strike out at the innocent tiled wall. He slammed his hand into it; once, twice, a third time.

"DAMN IT TO HELL!"

His words bounced and echoed within the stall and with short, choppy moves, he turned off the water, grabbed his robe and, after slipping it on and tying it, stepped out and plucked up another towel for his hair.

Rubbing harshly at his wet head, he strode into the living room, pausing halfway to the couch. His body was literally thrumming with the anger. The towel dropped from his hand and his fingers clenched, the nails digging into his palms.

He needed... he needed..

Daniel hurried over to the phone and punched in Frank's number. Thanks to the Quell "invasion" he'd missed two appointments, and, intellectually, he recognized the fact that he needed Frank. Needed a session. He also knew that driving to Boulder in his condition was impossible.

//Hello?//

Clearing his throat and hoping he had enough voice left for this, he said, "Frank? It's me, Daniel."

//Hey, everything all right?//

"Yeah, we had a bit of a problem at the mountain and I'm only just now home."

//Ah, got you. You sound like you have a cold or something?//

"No, I've just had to do a lot of talking recently. I'm fine."

//So then you want to reschedule a few appointments?//

Daniel walked over to his lounge chair and sat down as he said, "Actually, do you have some time to talk now? I'd drive to you, but I'd be a danger to myself and others on the road. I've been pretty busy and haven't had much sleep in the last few days."

//I have plenty of time, Daniel. Retired, remember? So tell me what's up?//

Gritting his teeth, Daniel ground out, "I can tell you what still isn't."

//And I can understand your frustration, but that's not why you really called, is it?//

Closing his eyes, Daniel muttered tightly, "Anger."

//Ah.//

"And... hatred. I've... been chewing Zantac like it was candy."

//So frustration, anger and hatred?//

"That about covers it. For the last few days I've had to be the perfect diplomat and talk myself into a coma while the entire time I was so angry I could have knocked out a wall. Which, by the way, I almost did in my bathroom a short time ago."

//And when you want to punch out the walls, who are you seeing? Yourself, or--?//

Daniel stiffened at the question, but answered, "How the hell do I know?"

//But you do, Daniel. You do. Now think. Who were you trying to punch out a few minutes ago?//

Daniel sank back into the chair, exhaustion finally taking its toll. "I don't think I actually pictured anyone," he said, his voice rough.

//Now Daniel, we agreed the last time we met that you'd stop with the denial crap and that no matter what I asked, you'd be one hundred percent honest. Now who were you seeing?//

"I... I... it was kind of... and maybe-"

//Who. Did. You. See?//

"I guess it was kind of a. Yenaran version of... me."

~~~

//I guess it was kind of an... Yenaran version of... me.//

Frank Letterer sat down.

He'd really hoped to hear that the inevitable anger would be directed where it belonged: with those who'd hurt Daniel. At least some of his anger was going where it belonged.

Choosing his words very carefully, he said, "Daniel, why do you think you might be angry with yourself?"

//Aw, come on, Frank. Can't you tell me?//

He smiled at the tired humor in Daniel's voice; a good sign. "Gosh, no, Daniel, I can't. I only make seventy-five bucks an hour; therefore, answering my questions must fall to you."

//Ha-ha.//

"So with that in mind," he went on, "why do you think you're angry at yourself?"

//I don't know.//

The reply sounded so lost, so empty, alarm bells went off in Frank's head.

"Daniel, can I call you right back? My portable phone is losing juice and I'm afraid it'll cut out on us."

//Sure, sure.//

"Okay, I'll call you right back."

He hung up, hurried over to his closet, took his jacket down, slipped into it, grabbed his keys and cell phone, and even as he rushed to his car, he dialed Daniel's number.

//He-loo, I'm not here right now, but if you leave me your password, I may call you back. Better yet, leave me your pin number.//

Sliding into the front seat, Frank shook his head in amusement. "You're incorrigible, Daniel."

//That's refreshing. I'm usually saying that to Jack.//

Frank backed out of the driveway and headed toward Colorado Springs as he talked.

~~~

Daniel drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair and decided he was thirsty. He got up, phone to ear, and walked into the kitchen. He was fully aware that the anger was still there, only now it was balled up in the pit of his stomach.

//.so I think you do know why you're angry with yourself. Now I'm going to cheat and break a valuable psychologist rule - and just so you'll know how important it is, well, Hippocrates created a second oath just for this rule.//

Phone lodged tightly between his cheek and shoulder, Daniel said, "Oooh, I'm all a-shiver here, Frank," as he got, and opened, a water out of the fridge. He ambled over to the table and sat down.

//As well you should be. If it gets out that I broke this most sacred rule-cum-oath, I'll be drummed out of the psych corp.//

"You're retired, Frank."

//My reputation will be ruined.//

"Okay, okay, mum's the word."

//Thank you. Okay, here goes... if it had been Jack who'd ended up as a Servi-1--//

"Servi-1XY. Please don't leave out that most auspicious designation."

//Servi-1XY, should he have been angry at himself once home again?//

Daniel felt the room close in on him and almost jumped to his feet. In a few steps, he was outside and in his backyard. Fingers gripping the phone tightly, he said, "It would never have happened to Jack."

//You don't know that, Daniel. Answer the question.//

"Of course not. Besides, Jack would have figured out a way to escape... or something."

//Oh, really? At the expense of his team?//

"He'd have found a way to get us all out of there."

//Did he, Daniel?//

Daniel frowned even as he watched a bee buzzing near by. "Did he what?"

//Did Colonel O'Neill find a way out for all of you?//

Still frowning, Daniel nodded.

//Daniel?//

"Oh, sorry. Yeah, he did. He made a bargain with the Yenarans. And you already know this."

//And that bargain would have been in place even if he'd been the one to be sent to Segev. So I ask again: did he get you all out of there?//

Slowly Daniel, robe and all, sat down on the grass in the middle of his lawn. He was feeling distinctly sick to his stomach. "I don't know what you mean, Frank."

//Yes, you do.//

"I hate it when you do that. So you're saying, in the typical psycho-babble way, that Jack would be angry with himself because he'd have failed to get us home, and so I shouldn't be angry with myself because I failed to get us home? That makes no sense."

//No doubt. Especially since that's not the conclusion I was trying, not so subtly, to get you to.//

Daniel rubbed his forehead - hard. "I'm confused, Frank. Should a good psychologist confuse his patients?"

//Gee, let me try something even more subtle, okay? Try this one. Would you have been angry at Jack if he'd been the one to go to Segev?//

"Of course not. Why on earth would I get angry at him-"

//How 'bout Sam? Would you have been angry with her?//

"Frank, I wouldn't have been angry at anyone. For God's sake, it's not like they'd have had a choice in the matter."

//Wow, really? No choice? That's... absolutely stunning. I'm amazed. So how is that while they would have no choice - you did?//

"Are you crazy? I had no choice."

//Could you repeat that, Daniel?//

"Oh, fer crying out. I had no choice, they would have no... uhm. I... didn't .."

//Yes, Daniel? You didn't... what?//

Daniel tilted his head back and stared up at the blue sky. "I... didn't have... a... choice."

//Gee, do I hear the sound of a slot machine hitting a huge payout?//

"Frank, you need to get out more."

~~~

"I think there's an area we haven't yet covered, Daniel."

//Frank, I don't think I can... think... anymore today.//

Since Daniel's revelation, they'd talked for over an hour and a half and had covered a great deal of territory. Unfortunately, Frank could tell from Daniel's voice that while he'd released himself from any blame, there was definitely something still bothering him. Something important and something that could still keep him from a healthy recovery.

"Where are you, Daniel? In your home, where exactly are you?"

//Uhm, I'm outside. Backyard. On the lawn. Just... sitting.//

That news really bothered him. Over an hour ago he'd learned that Daniel had called him straight out of the shower. "What are you wearing?"

//What, this call just took a left turn toward the Twilight Zone?//

"Daniel?"

//My robe. My blue robe, in case it's important. Dark blue with my initial on the left side. A present from Cassie.//

Frank chuckled and then went serious as he ordered, "So when you get inside, change into something warm and get some coffee going. I'll be there by the time the coffee's hot."

//Excuse me?//

"I've been on the road almost our entire time, Daniel."

//Oh.//

"Go."

//Right. But... you're staying on the line, right?//

"Yep. Talk about anything, just do it while going inside and changing."

//I can do that.//

And he did. Frank listened to him talk about his backyard, his garden, the new deck he was planning, and the odd translation he was having so much difficulty with: the tower writings from Segev. By the time Frank turned down Daniel's street, he knew more than he wanted to know about peonies. Smiling, he pulled into the driveway, parked behind Daniel's Jeep, and climbed out of his car.

"Daniel?"

//... but Mrs. Trent, my next door neighbor, says that sweet peas would be bet-huh?//

"I'm here. You could open the front door for me."

//Oh. Sure. I can do that.//

Frank grinned.

Part 7

"So."

Frank cocked his head. "So what?"

"So. You're here. You're actually here."

They were in Daniel's kitchen, hot coffee in front of both of them. Daniel was wearing a faded blue polo shirt and ancient blue jeans. He was also barefoot. His hair, no longer damp, was sticking straight up in several places and Frank had the urge to brush it down. He bit back the urge. Mothering Daniel right now would not be the best course of action. Instead, he nodded and said, "I'm here."

Head down, and absently stirring his coffee, Daniel said, "So what made you jump in your car and head for Colorado Springs?"

"You mean what in your voice made me drive two hours to get here?"

"Uhm, yeah. That."

"You sounded... lost, Daniel. You still do, in spite of the fact that you seem to have made some semblance of peace with what happened."

"I'm not lost. I'm okay, actually. The anger is... gone."

"Liar."

Daniel looked at him then. "No, really, it's gone. No knot of it in my stomach. All gone."

"It's just moved, Daniel. Take a quiet moment and find it, okay? I think it's very important we deal with it today."

"That sounds... weird. You want me to find my anger?"

Frank didn't answer, he just continued to look at Daniel.

"All right, all right." Daniel shifted in his chair, took a quick sip of coffee, closed his eyes, and grew still and silent.

After several minutes, troubled blue eyes were staring at Frank, and Daniel had an almost accusatory look on his face.

"I take it you found the anger?"

"Damn it, yes. Bu t I don't get it. I know I had no choice and that there was no escape, so where is this anger coming from?"

"You tell me, Daniel."

Daniel gave a small snort. "Typical. If I could tell you, I would. But I can't because I don't know. But I'm betting you do, so why not break another sacrosanct rule?"

"And just tell you? Okay, why not." He shrugged amicably. "You're still angry with yourself because in spite of knowing you had no choice, you think something you'd been hoping for is now a lost cause. You think you're different now and that the difference will matter to some people."

"We can hardly deny that I am different now. Who wouldn't be? And of course that difference will matter."

"Does it matter to Janet? Or Jacob Carter?"

"Probably. In a way. Janet will never look at me the same way again. I'll never be someone... I don't know... strong? I'll be a victim to her from now on. Same with Jacob, I suppose."

"I'm thinking it's time for the reversal game again, Daniel. Let's turn the tables, shall we? So it was Janet who was sent to Segev. You're all home now. Are you viewing her any differently than before? Do you still trust her to take care of all of you? Do you still care about her?"

"That's a stupid comparison. Of course I do, to all of it. BUT she would be different and I'd be worried about her and I'd try to help. Eventually, because she's strong, she'd learn to deal with it."

"And then how would you view her?"

"The same as now."

"Then why can't you see the same thing happening with you? Why can't you see that none of your friends will see you as a victim, or feel less about you?"

"Because I'm not Janet? Because I'm the civilian and, hello, a guy? Because I'm the one who always screws up anyway?"

"Ah, so this is about you and not them. This is how you feel about yourself, not about how they feel. Isn't that right?"

Daniel got up suddenly and started pacing. He ran a hand through his hair as he walked back and forth in the small kitchen. "No, no, you're wrong. I don't feel any particular way about me at all, other than as others see me." He paused. "Okay, that came out wrong. What I mean is. I know how others see me and-"

"Daniel, what's the worst thing that could happen to you now?"

Puzzled, Daniel turned to face him. "What?"

"What's the worst thing that could happen to you now? Really. The very worst."

Slowly Daniel sat down again. Hands folded on the table top, he said softly, "That. Jack would find out."

"Jack. Have you noticed how often his name comes up in our sessions?"

"No."

"I have. Why is Jack finding out the worst thing that could happen to you, Daniel?"

"I... don't know. It just is. Wait, because of how bad he'd feel."

"Ah, so it would be the worst thing for him to find out because he'd feel, what, guilty?"

"Probably. Yes."

"We're skirting around the elephant again, Daniel. I think it's time you just came out and said it. Once and for all."

Daniel's body stilled again, and with eyes on his hands, Daniel said, "So you've figured it out."

"It wasn't hard."

"Do I still need to say it then?"

"I think it's important, yes."

Daniel sighed heavily. "Okay, I'm in love with Jack. And what happened on Segev effectively wiped out any chance I had of ever... of there ever being anything... not that there would be, but it was always a hope, kind of. In the back of my mind. And now I have to face it. The truth. That no matter what, there was never any future for us, except as friends, and what happened on Segev makes it a moot point, and if he found out, I could lose what little I have with him."

Frank got up, walked the two steps to the coffeemaker, picked up the pot, poured for the both of them and, after putting the pot back, asked, "Do you have any whiskey?"

"Pantry next to the back door. Top shelf." Daniel snorted. "Jack Daniels."

"Good choice." He got the bottle down and gave each of their cups a good shot of the alcohol before putting it away again. Once back in his seat, he pushed Daniel's cup toward him. "Go on, drink it. You need it."

Daniel nodded but ignored the mug. "So now I've said it."

"You sure have. The elephant is now visible."

"And wearing dress blues. I've always liked Jack in dress blues."

"Men in uniform."

"You don't really seem surprised, Frank."

"Please. Psychologist here, remember?"

"So what do you think?"

"I think you're allowing the little things to worry you too much."

One finely arched eyebrow lifted. "Little things?"

Frank grinned. "You said it yourself; you and Jack have no future. You told me not so long ago that he was in love with Major Carter. So why worry?"

"Why indeed." Daniel smirked. "The ever hopeful heart."

Frank nodded at the coffee. "Drink some of that, Daniel."

Daniel did as instructed and they sat in companionable silence for several minutes. Finally Daniel yawned and Frank got up, took the now empty mugs and set them in the sink. Turning, he said, "All right, up and at 'em. Nap time, Daniel."

"God, you're worse than Jack."

Frank gave him a small pat on the back. "Come on."

Daniel rose slowly and, together, they walked carefully into his bedroom. Frank, taking all the care of a father toward a son, helped Daniel undress down to his shorts and then got him into bed. He pulled the shades down and when he turned back to the bed, Daniel's eyes were already closed, his breathing deep and even. He walked over to the side of the bed and gazed down on his charge for a couple of minutes before heading out to the living room.

Once there, he sat down in a chair.

The worst of it was over. It would take more sessions, no doubt, but they'd managed to get over the largest hump in the road to Daniel's recovery today. There was still anger - self-directed - but most of it had been successfully dampened if not stamped out altogether.

Looking around the living room, at the furnishings that represented his patient, he had to acknowledge that Daniel might be one of the strongest men he'd ever known. Which was why he was still so concerned about him.

~~~

Daniel closed the front door and walked into the kitchen. Their breakfast dishes were in the sink so he set about the task of washing them. It was Friday and he still couldn't get over how long he'd slept, and, while he felt better, his voice was worse. The good news was that Frank felt that Daniel could go down to one session a week.

After washing up, he wandered back to the living room and sat down. It was early afternoon and warm, hence he was torn between working in his yard for a few hours or just sitting back, relaxed, and read. The tingling in his body was telling him that he needed to keep moving so he supposed the garden was going to win. But not just yet. For now, he just wanted to sit quietly.

~~~

Jack thought it was time to firm up the weekend barbecue plan, so after checking in at Teal'c's room - and finding him not there - he headed to Carter's lab, his sense of déjà vu in full swing.

He wasn't surprised to find Teal'c working with Carter again, or finding Jacob overseeing the work. He didn't have a clue what they were working on, which was no surprise, but he did wonder why - suddenly - Carter always needed Teal'c.

"Hey, kids," he called out as he walked in, trying to sound as jovial as possible.

"Sir."

"O'Neill."

"Jack."

He walked up to the table and peered over Teal'c's shoulder. "Do I want to know what you guys are doing?"

"Probably not, sir," Carter said as she tweaked something on what looked suspiciously like a mother board - and no, he had no intention of telling anyone that he knew what a mother board looked like.

"So, you guys up for the team barbecue that had to be postponed due to a small invasion?"

"I am indeed up for it, O'Neill. However, will DanielJackson be sufficiently recovered by this weekend? Should we not wait another week?"

"Teal'c, you make it sound as though Daniel had been injured or something. He's fine," Carter said as she picked up another tool and did some more tweaking.

"I do not believe DanielJackson is at all 'fine', as you put it, Major Carter. I believe he is very much not fine. I do not believe he has been fine for quite some time."

Jack was too interested in Carter's reaction to reply himself. He watched her as she paused and looked sideways at Teal'c.

"Teal'c, I think you're imagining things."

"I do not believe that I am. We were separated from DanielJackson for three months and since our return, we have seen very little of him. I do not-"

She straightened up, her expression one of impatience and frustration. "Oh, for heaven's sake, not this again. Of the four of us, Daniel was probably the most happy, in his element and doing what he loved. I doubt sincerely that he missed us at all, and I'd wager that if you think something is wrong, it's that Daniel wishes he were back on Segev right now."

Jack was so shocked by her words, he found himself... speechless. Evidently Teal'c was feeling the same. Not so with Jacob, whose face flushed a dull red.

"Sam, that's enough," he said, his voice low, tone sharp.

"Oh, Dad, not you too. What is with you three? Just because Daniel was separated doesn't mean there were any problems. For God's sake, he left us for an entire year. You don't think he was busy on Segev? Buried in work he loves? Trust me, he never once gave us a thought, and I for one... okay, I resent it." She turned to Jack. "You worried constantly about him and do you think he returned the worry? No. He was too busy-"

Jacob's hand shot out, his fingers clamping down on his daughter's forearm. "Sam, stop now before you say something you'll really regret. You don't have a clue what you're talking about."

"Don't I?" she challenged.

"No," Jacob hissed, "you don't." Still holding her arm, he motioned with his other hand and said, "All three of you, up top, now."

Jack found himself loping along behind Teal'c, Carter and Jacob. He didn't know what was going on, but every instinct told him it was going to be bad.

~~~

Once up top and outside, Jacob led them all several yards away from the exit and the guards. They ended up under a stand of trees rising tall in the cool, bright afternoon.

"Dad, what's going on?" Carter asked, her voice tinged with an edge of anger.

"I'll tell you what's going on; I'm about to go back on my word and divulge something I swore that I wouldn't and I'll probably regret this to my dying day, but.."

Jacob paused, looked at all three of them and his expression softened. "Now that we're up here, I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing, let alone if I have the right-"

"Jacob, if you think for one minute you can back out now, you're crazy," Jack said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"I have no intention of backing out, but that doesn't negate the feeling that I'm violating something sacred. I just hope that it makes a difference." He looked hard at all three of them and added, "Although, deep down, all of you have some inkling that Segev wasn't the happy place Daniel led you all to believe."

Frowning, Jack took a step closer. "Jacob?"

"Come on, Jack. You're a smart man." He looked at his daughter. "Sammy? You can't honestly tell me that you think for one minute that Daniel really spent his time researching the history of the Yenar? Use that megawatt brain of yours, honey. Think back to what you observed in your three months. Did you see anyone reading? Watching anything on the vid other than news? Did you see... couples? Children? Art? Music? Anything that would tell you-"

"Jacob," Jack said softly, "get to the point."

"Sure, why not. Drop the bomb in one fell swoop. Okay, here goes. The Yenar were a people of war. Their entire society was based on fighting the enemy. There was no time for art, music, love, relationships, or anything else. Only war. But soldiers have needs and since a culture based on survival knows zip about love, the Yenar made sure those needs were taken care of by the Servi-"

"Dad, the Servi were the food servers, the-"

"Those were Servi-2's, Sam. Servi-3's took care of the environment and. Servi-1's... took care of the sexual needs of the Mercs and Teks. Daniel was removed from SG-1 because he wasn't labeled a soldier, but because of his looks, he was placed into the category of Servi-1."

Jacob paused - waited.

Jack tilted his head and narrowed his eyes at Jacob. He tilted his head in the opposite direction. He was pretty certain he was in the middle of a black hole. And having faced one before, he could categorically state that yes, he was in the middle of a black hole. He felt an intense pressure pulling at his heart as his mind accepted - slowly accepted - Jacob's words and the meaning behind them. He thought it was altogether possible that his heart might implode, the pressure was so damn tight.

"Dad... what are you saying?" Carter asked, her face going a shade more pale than seemingly possible.

"You know, Sammy. You know," he said, his voice full of an incredible sadness.

Jack managed to finally focus his gaze and bring himself back from the brink of the black hole. He glanced over at Teal'c and noted, in an off-handed way, that his friend had gone an odd shade of gray. He vaguely wondered what color his face was at the moment.

It was amazing how the sun continued to shine down on them, to make its way through the branches of the evergreens, to splinter off into shining streaks of brightness and create a halo around Sam's head, backlight Jacob and bounce off of Teal'c's tattoo. Jack thought the sun should be in hiding. Seemed appropriate. Melodramatic, but appropriate.

~~~

Daniel shielded his eyes from the sun as he looked up at the blue, cloudless sky. He had two hours of good daylight left, which meant he had a good chance of finishing the weeding in the last planter. Then all he had to do was water. He took off his tee shirt and wiped his face with it before dropping it. He went back to work.

~~~

Jack wasn't sure how he happened to be driving down the mountain to Daniel's house with Teal'c next to him and Carter and Jacob in the car behind him. He remembered the rest of Jacob's words, the history of Daniel on Segev, and he vaguely recalled an argument between Carter and her father, one that resulted in Carter actually crying. Was that why he wasn't doing this alone? Probably. No. Maybe.

No.

They were doing this because three-fourths of the team needed to see the remaining member. Because SG-1 needed to... what... what?

What did SG-1 need to do that Jack couldn't do better alone?

And he needed to be alone with Daniel.

On the other hand, since he wasn't - alone - he had to make sure this was done right. He'd seen Jacob's face when he'd realized that he couldn't stop them from going to Daniel's. He understood better than anyone that the reason only two people - until now - had known the truth was that Daniel had been protecting them. SG-1.

They had to do this right.

They had to.

Part 8

Jack coasted to a stop in front of Daniel's home. He put the truck into park and shut off the engine. For a moment, he and Teal'c simply stared at the front of the house. Finally Teal'c spoke.

"We are doing the right thing, O'Neill. We are more than a team, we are a family. We are his only family. It is time he learned what family can do for him, and what he means to us."

Without taking his eyes from the front door, Jack said, "That's the first hopeful and intelligent thing anyone has said since Jacob told us the truth."

Carter's car pulled in behind him and he realized it was time to confront Daniel.

No. Confront was the wrong word. It was time to demonstrate family to Daniel.

He and Teal'c got out and met Carter and Jacob on the lawn. Together, all four approached the front door. Jack knocked, coughed, and knocked again. When there seemed to be no response, Teal'c said, "His car is here, O'Neill."

"I noticed. Takes up most of the driveway." He rubbed at his chin and finally said, "Backyard. Let's go."

They walked across the driveway to the back gate, which was propped open by a brick. Jack pushed against the white wood and slowly moved in, the others behind him. Jacob took the gate and slowly let it close against the brick before turning back to face the yard.

Jack moved around the corner, Teal'c and Sam right behind him. Once he was even with the patio, he froze, Teal'c and Sam having no choice but to come to an abrupt halt.

Daniel was watering the lawn. He was wearing a ragged pair of blue jeans and nothing else. The sun, on its descent, lent the yard an early summer-sunset kind of glow, but Jack was focused on the man. A man completely unaware of them as he watered, moving his arm back and forth lazily, the water spraying the planter, forming small rainbows as the sun caught the liquid in its downward path. Completely unaware of four pairs of eyes as they took in his bare back and broad shoulders.

And the crisscross of thin white lines that covered the bare back and broad shoulders.

Scars that had healed, but were there, for anyone to see - if only they looked.

The scars of his time on Segev.

Scars that went deep. Soul deep.

They were all frozen until Sam gasped. A gasp that had to have been heard by Daniel.

~~~

Daniel was almost in a trance, the very act of watering a soothing balm to his soul. He was almost done and later, after a shower, maybe some Mozart. He smiled to himself. Suddenly, from behind him, a sound broke his concentration causing him to pause. After a moment, he slowly turned... to find Jack, Sam and Teal'c in his backyard. He frowned, looked at their faces, at the devastation written on them, and for just a moment thought something terrible had happened to someone - maybe Hammond, or... Janet, and he took a tentative step toward them, his mouth opening, ready to ask who, until he spotted Jacob.

The truth, like the sharpest arrow, slammed into him and time seemed to stall as the hose fell soundlessly from his fingers. He glanced down at the water now spouting upward, but instead of stopping it by picking up the hose again, he slowly looked over at his friends.

They knew everything.

Before he could say or do anything, Sam was walking toward him, face flushed, eyes bright with unshed tears. The next thing he knew, her arms were around him and she'd buried her face in his neck. For a moment, he was too stunned to move, to react, but slowly, as her muffled, "Danny, Danny, Danny," reached him, as the import of her choice of "Danny" reached him, he brought his own arms up and wrapped her safely inside them. Then they were hugging and holding tightly and he was so damn grateful that she wasn't asking for forgiveness, or smothering him with pity. His eyes were tightly closed so he didn't see Jack or Teal'c approach, but he sure as hell felt their arms as they both enfolded him and Sam in their embrace.

~~~

Jacob watched Daniel freeze, turn, spot them. He could see the surprise and puzzlement on Daniel's face, could tell that the younger man was wondering what horrible something had befallen the SGC. He also spotted the precise moment when Daniel understood why they were there. He observed the hose falling from nerveless fingers, and watched with pride as his daughter moved toward Daniel with no desire other than to hold and be held by her friend.

When Jack and Teal'c joined Daniel and Sam, when all four were one, Jacob breathed easy for the first time since breaking Daniel's confidence. He didn't have a clue what would happen next - but he suspected, if Jack's behavior since learning the truth about Segev was any indication, his daughter would soon be reevaluating her life and all that she assumed it held.

~~~

"No, Jack, leave them alone for now. There's a great deal my daughter has to say to Daniel, and now is as good a time as any for it to be said."

Jack was staring out the back bay window, his gaze unwavering as he said, "I disagree. Now is not the time for Carter to be confessing her sins to Daniel."

Following Jack's line of sight, Jacob watched his daughter and Daniel as they sat on the patio at the redwood table, heads bent and almost touching as they talked softly. "Jack, I think this is important to both of them, all confessions aside."

Considering the fact that Daniel was outside with Carter, Jack realized he didn't have a choice. He could only wait - his turn.

~~~

". so much anger and I never knew it, Daniel. Everything that's happened since your return, every reaction I've experienced has been tainted by that anger." Sam turned tortured eyes to her friend. "Maybe if I understood - not that I have any right to such an understanding - but you... it seemed as though you chose this great path instead of us. Instead of staying on the ground where the dirty fighting was, and, yes, I know that's unfair, and selfish, and-"

"Sam, stop."

The anguish in his voice stopped her. "Daniel, God, I've done it again-"

"No. No, you haven't." He looked down at his hands and tried to marshal his thoughts, the difficulty being explaining without giving himself away. So... most of the truth. "Sam, I was so damned tired of failing, and equally tired of battling not the bad guys, but the good guys. What Oma offered was... a way out and a world beyond anything I could imagine. Bottom line became the fact that there seemed to be no reason to stay. I can't explain it any better than that."

"If Oma allowed you to return to that life - would you? Now?"

"Sam, that's unrealistic. I'm not dying-"

"Daniel, if she showed up right now and offered you a second chance, would you take it?"

Curious, Daniel asked, "Why does it matter to you what my answer would be?"

"Because you're a member of SG-1? You're my friend? My best friend? Because... because.."

Her voice trailed off as her eyes filled with tears. "God, I never knew. I swear, I never knew.."

"Sam?"

Eyes focused on a spot over his head, Sam said, "I was... jealous. I am jealous. I wasn't just hurt, I was jealous."

"So next time you take the radiation hit, okay?"

With a sense of wonder, Sam said, "It wouldn't matter if I did - I realize that now. It wasn't about dying - it was about understanding - and you always do." Suddenly she laughed. "Lord, all these years and I never got it." She made quote marks in the air. "Think outside the box, Sammy." She laughed again. "Always priding myself on my ability to do that, but, damn, I never really did. Oh, I looked outside a box, but never the box. But you, you not only work outside the box, you search every inch of space outside the box, hell, outside of every fucking box in the universe."

Daniel looked askance. "Uhm, I've never... you said... wow."

Her expression changed, the light in her eyes suddenly shadowed. "But there's more."

Daniel wondered if he could take any more. On the other hand, he realized as he looked at her, at her distant expression, that she was talking to herself, about herself, that she was seeing deep inside.

This wasn't about him at all. Thank God. He let Sam know his willingness to listen and was surprised when her cheeks pinked. Concerned, he reached over and took her hand. "Sam?"

"I was jealous of the friendship between you and Colonel O'Neill." Her voice was flat - expressionless.

Fuck. What was he supposed to say now? For god's sake, Jack loved her. Not him, her.

All right, let's go with that - sort of.

"But Sam - Jack's in love with you. How could any friendship threaten that?"

She tore her eyes from their entwined fingers and looked up at him. "No, Daniel. He isn't. But for a long time, I thought he was. Or that I was, or that we... that there was something there."

"And yet you never acted on it," he said gently.

"Regs."

"Always so important to SG-1." His smile was slight.

"All right - my career," she admitted.

"Sam, if you don't mind my saying - if you loved Jack O'Neill - really loved him with your entire soul, do you think your career would matter?"

She bowed her head and whispered, "No."

They were silent for several minutes and Daniel found himself rubbing the top of Sam's hand with his thumb in an effort to comfort and soothe her. Finally she smiled a bit and said, "I've been a fool, Daniel, but I think I'm back on track now. I'm really sorry."

"No apologies required, Sam. Nothing to be sorry about."

She looked at him in wonder. "You just don't know, do you? The whole time we were trying to teach the Yenar how to fight dirty, Colonel O'Neill never thought of anything but getting you back with us and I never gave you a thought. I didn't want to think about you, or to see the truth in front of my eyes, and I'm not just talking about the Yenar."

Looking infinitely sad, Daniel said quietly, "This is just what I didn't want."

"I know, Daniel, but we're family and when we screw up, we need to talk about it, feel guilty about it, and ask for forgiveness. We love each other and that's what we owe each other when we screw up."

"No one screwed up, Sam. No. One. Screwed. Up."

"You don't have it exactly right. No one is at fault for the fact that we were separated and you ended up on Segev, doing what... doing what-"

"It's okay, Sam."

She waved him off, sniffled a bit, and said, "But I am at fault for what I thought, failed to think, and failed to see. And you need to let me be at fault, and wallow, and just... just... be. And then you need to forgive me even though you don't think there's anything to forgive because, well, because we love each other and it's what a good brother would do for his sometimes less than intelligent sister."

"Ah. I see. A good brother."

She tightened her grip on his hand. "Yes, Daniel. A good brother."

Smiling tenderly, Daniel said, "You go right on ahead and wallow then."

Grinning back at him, she said, "Thank you, Daniel."

~~~

Jacob allowed himself to relax. Daniel and Sam were laughing now, and if he was any judge of laughter, it was real and very much needed. Now all that had to happen was for him to get a few minutes with Daniel in order to offer up his abject apology and his neck for the chopping block. He glanced over at Jack, who was still standing next to the window, watching his two teammates. The man's back was stiff, hands clasped tightly behind his back. Jacob gave a small shake of his head.

Could any man be more obvious?

Could any man be more in love?

He seriously doubted it. Especially since the man in question was in major denial.

~~~

Daniel held up his hand. "Don't, Jacob."

"You're not going to let me-"

"No, I'm not. I don't know what happened to cause you to spill the proverbial beans, but it's done, over. Our heart, it does go on."

Jacob frowned. "Did you just make fun of me?"

Blue eyes wide, Daniel said, "Moi? Please."

"I get the message."

"Now that's refreshing. Carters seem to have a problem in that area."

"Another dig. Okay, okay, so let's go back inside."

"You mean I actually to get to go inside my home?"

"Laughing here, Daniel."

They both grinned and turned to head inside, but Jack stepped out onto the patio first.

"Daniel, do you have a few?"

Jacob patted him on the back. "Guess you're not going inside just yet, Danny boy. I'm thinking we should have taken numbers."

"Teal'c is number four," Jack said drolly.

"On that note, I think I'll go inside and see if I can interest Teal'c and Sammy in a game of Tiddlywinks." He looked over his shoulder at Daniel. "You do have Tiddlywinks, don't you, Daniel?"

"In the drawer in the dining room," Daniel said, eyes on Jack, lips twitching.

"Right," Jacob said as he walked inside, shutting the sliding door behind him.

~~~

Jack rolled back on his heels, stuffed his hands into his pockets and then rolled forward on the balls of his feet. Daniel had the ridiculous feeling that if Jack could have scuffed the earth, he would have. He decided to put the man out of his misery.

"Jack, if you're going to unload your guilt and ask for my forgiveness, I may have to shoot myself - and just when I was improving."

Jack looked up sharply, noticed the glimmer of humor in Daniel's eyes, and shuffled his feet a bit. He then scuffed the toe of his shoe against the woven mat on the patio.

"Jack, damn it, I'm serious. I'm up to here in guilt and forgiveness because everyone says that's what families do, okay? You have nothing to feel guilty about and there's nothing for me to forgive."

"I know there's nothing to feel guilty about, Daniel. What happened to you.."

Jack swallowed the bile that suddenly rose up and threatened to overwhelm him. He coughed, shifted his position, and said, "There is a sense of letting you down, but I know I couldn't have stopped anything. I know it here." He tapped his temple.

"But not here?" Daniel asked as he touched his chest on the left side.

"No, not there. Not where it counts. I'm SG-1's commanding officer and I'm responsible for what happens to us - to all of us."

Daniel sat down at the table. He brushed some dust off the surface and said, "Funny, I just washed the whole patio down and the table is dirty."

Uncertain what that meant, Jack chose to slide in next to Daniel on the bench. "Outside is like that. Wash one minute, dusty the next. That's why it's outside," he said wisely.

"And people say you're dumb."

"Who says that? Point me at 'em, I'll kill 'em."

Conclusion

"I believe we should leave," Teal'c said from behind Jacob and Sam, who were standing at the window and watching Jack and Daniel.

"You're probably right," Jacob agreed without moving.

"I believe we should leave... now," Teal'c reiterated.

"I suppose so," Sam said as she tore her gaze from the two men. "Dad?"

Turning away from the window, Jacob nodded. "Let's go. How about Italian?"

"You are buying?" Teal'c asked as he followed the two Carters out of the house.

"Tokr'a aren't known for their ability to purchase things here on Earth, Teal'c."

"Wait," Sam said. "Does that mean I'm buying?"

Neither man answered as the door to Daniel's home was securely shut.

~~~

"Actually, Jack, no one says it, in spite of your feeble attempts at proving it."

"Feeble? I take umbrage at that. I work hard at putting on a dumb face."

"Says the man who said 'umbrage'," Daniel observed.

"It's a good word."

"Right. So are we going to tap dance around things or get down to it?"

Shoulder now just touching Daniel's, Jack said, "Tap dancing would be good - for a while longer anyway. Just until I get my rhythm going."

"Okay, fine. Tap dancing it is. So who do you think was better - Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire?"

"Donald O'Connor," Jack said in a tone that brooked no argument.

"You win that one. Okay, Eleanor Powell or-"

"Eleanor Powell over anyone, including Donald O'Connor."

Daniel smiled and shook his head fondly. "Only we could be sitting here discussing the merits of tap dancers."

"True. I think I'll change the subject though." He turned his head and looked hard at Daniel. "You're seeing someone about. Segev."

"I am."

"And you're... okay?"

"I'm getting there."

The sun had set and the only light now was that from Daniel's living room. A soft light that lent the patio a soft, golden glow. A dog barked a few houses down and children could be heard laughing out front as they ran home, presumably for dinner. Jack reached out and took Daniel's right hand. He just held it even as Daniel stiffened at the touch. After a few moments, Jack slipped his fingers between Daniel's. He heard Daniel catch his breath, but he simply continued to hold on.

"I should probably mention at this point," Daniel said after clearing his throat, "that Air Force colonels don't usually sit like this with members of their team. Male members."

"I do."

"Okay. I was just saying."

"Of course, there needs to be a high degree of affection in order for an Air Force colonel to do this. A very high degree of affection, in fact."

Looking at their entwined fingers, Daniel asked, his voice strangely subdued, "How much affection?"

"All there is to feel - and more," Jack said almost breathlessly.

Slowly Daniel pulled his hand away. "Your timing leaves a great deal to be desired, Jack." He got up and headed inside. Jack had no choice but to follow.

Once in, Daniel said as he walked toward his room, "I need to shower and change. If you want, there are some take-out menus in the drawer next to the fridge."

~~~

Daniel stripped, dumped his dirty clothes in the hamper, and realized that he'd left his tee shirt out on the lawn. He shrugged, turned on the water, and when it was the right temperature, he stepped in.

Once in the safety of his shower stall, with the water beating down on him, he could think. Breathe.

Too much - too soon.

And everything he'd ever wanted -- at a time when he could do nothing about it.

Life sucked sometimes. And lemonade stands were for kids with parents.

~~~

Jack wandered around Daniel's home, nerves on fire. He couldn't sit, couldn't stop moving. He'd ordered Chinese, checked Daniel's pantry and found a bottle of wine, which was now on the counter breathing. And he couldn't stop moving.

He did have lousy timing. And yet - what better time to tell Daniel that he was loved. So very loved. He heard the thrum of the shower go off and he moved quickly to the couch and sat down. He didn't want to look as nervous as he felt when Daniel returned.

~~~

Okay, he admitted it. He'd hoped that after Jack's strange declaration, his libido might have made a return engagement.

It hadn't. His dick remained stubbornly uninterested in Daniel's fantasies or Jack's declaration. Stubborn, that was its problem.

And now he had to face Jack and, while he'd briefly considered lying to the man and saying "So nice you love me, and tough luck I don't reciprocate," he'd quickly tossed that notion aside. Today had taught him a valuable lesson about family and friends and love and guilt and helping each other. He owed Jack the truth - all of it. After that, well, it was anyone's guess.

He toweled-dried his hair, slipped into a pair of well-worn sweats and a faded yellow and very soft tee shirt. Barefoot, he headed for the living room.

~~~

"I ordered Chinese," Jack said as Daniel walked in.

"Sounds good." Daniel sat down in the large, comfortable chair next to the couch.

"And there's a bottle of wine breathing in the kitchen," Jack added, suddenly very self-conscious.

"Also sounds good. How much time do we have before dinner arrives?"

"Another thirty or so."

Daniel nodded thoughtfully. "So then - time to talk a bit." He brushed at small tufts of material on his sweat pants and said, "I've been in love with you for a while now, but you need to know a few things before we go any further-"

"You love me?"

Daniel looked up. "Yes."

Jack found himself grinning like a fool. "Sweet."

"Let's not jump ahead of ourselves, Jack. You see - well, as we discussed earlier, sort of, I've been seeing someone about... you know," he waved his hand aimlessly in the air, "and while I've come to terms with a great deal of what happened, there's still the small matter of my... uhm, er... libido. Which has apparently gone on an extended vacation. No cards, no letters, no phone calls. No idea when, or if, it will return. So I'm thinking we go on as friends, and we just kind of-"

"No, Daniel. No."

". leave any relationship... what?"

"No. N.O."

Face scrunching up, Daniel said, "No what? No to continuing our friendship?"

"No to just maintaining our friendship. I want to be with you, Daniel. And if that means we do nothing more than share our hours, meals, and bed, well, that's enough. If hugging and hand-holding is okay, well, that would be great. If kissing is something you're comfortable with, cool. If not, equally cool. Whatever you need, want - well, that's what I need and want."

Daniel blinked several times behind his glasses. "Oh."

Jack got up and took the two steps necessary to bring him to Daniel. He ran a gentle finger along Daniel's jaw. "I love you, Daniel. And now that I know that, spending any time away from you would be impossible. Being only friends," he shook his head, "impossible. Although, we're lucky enough to have that as our foundation, aren't we?" Daniel smiled up at the man. "Yeah, Jack, we are. Very lucky."

~~~

They ate outside on the patio, candles their illumination. Jack dug into his almond duck while Daniel ate his walnut chicken. Between them sat a plate of Chinese ribs and a container of shrimp fried rice. Daniel had a glass of wine with his dinner while Jack had, in the end, opted for a beer. The silence as they ate was full of unspoken words of comfort, love, and friendship. They shared the rice, ribs and secret smiles.

When both men were done, the table cleared, coffee cups next to each of them, and tearing into their fortune cookies, Jack glanced up and asked, "So nary a twitch, eh?"

"Nope, not even a twitch."

"But you'll tell me should you get a-"

"Twitch?"

"Yeah, that."

Grinning by candlelight, Daniel said, "You'll be the first to know after me, Jack."

"Sweet."

~~~

The next several weeks proved to Daniel beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he had a family... and Jack. But the weeks also proved, to a certain extent, that he'd been right too in some of his fears if they knew. He was treated differently now. But not in ways he'd expected. He wasn't coddled and there were no long, sympathetic looks. Instead, SG-1 slowly grew back to the team they'd once been.

As for Jack, their relationship was one of camaraderie, affection and love. They alternated between his home and Jack's, and while there were still no twitches, Jack was happy with what they had.

Too bad Daniel wasn't.

His libido was alive and well in his mind, damn it. Frank kept telling him it would come back to his body - in time, but lately, well, lately, it was getting more and more difficult to watch Jack doing anything.

Damn, that man was sexy.

~~~

Jack reached out for Daniel but his arms came up empty. He cracked open one eye and confirmed that the other half of the too-small bed was, indeed, Daniel-less. He sat up, ran a hand through his short hair, and listened.

Ah. Kitchen. He sniffed appreciatively. "Pancakes." Sleepy grin in place, he threw back the covers and got out of bed. Yawning and scratching, he walked into the kitchen.

"Morn-ing," he said with another yawn.

"Hey, sleepyhead. Pancakes and sausage, coming right up."

"Smelled them. Smells good."

Laughing, Daniel flipped three pancakes onto a plate, added a couple of sausages, and slid the breakfast in front of Jack, who happily sniffed again. "Heaven. Sheer heaven."

Daniel, not yet ready to eat, leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest, content to watch Jack. His eyes took in the Air Force tee shirt stretched across Jack's chest, the handsome pillow-creased face, and the salt and pepper hair, most of which was still standing on end. Jack was chewing deliriously, eyes closed and humming softly.

Daniel's eyes suddenly opened wide in surprise. He blinked several times, glanced down, glanced back up and said, "Twitch."

Jack rubbed his mouth with a napkin and said, "Huh?"

"Twitch," Daniel urged.

Jack looked around him and back at Daniel. "What the fuck?"

"EXACTLY!"

With that, Daniel moved to the table, took Jack's arm, pulled him up, and started to lead him to the bedroom.

"Daniel," Jack whined, "I'm still eating here--"

"Jack - TWITCH!"

". and those pancakes - what? Did you just say. twitch?"

Rolling his eyes, Daniel tugged harder.

"Well, I'll be damned," Jack said.

~~~

"Oh, wow."

Daniel let out a breath and said, "Yeah."

Jack was spread out on the bed, chest heaving, sweat trickling down his face and glistening on his chest. Daniel was next to him and in the same condition. Both were cooling down and trying to catch their breaths.

"Daniel, when you get a twitch, you really get a twitch," Jack finally said. He rolled over onto his side and propped his head up with his hand. Reaching out, he rested his other hand on Daniel's stomach. "Yep, you're one hell of a twitcher."

Smiling, Daniel said, "I figure what I lacked in finesse, I made up for in enthusiasm."

"Oh, yeah. You were very enthusiastic." He started to rub gentle circles on the cooling flesh as he studied his best friend in the entire world - and now life partner - and finally asked, "You... okay?"

Turning his head to look at Jack, Daniel smiled - brilliantly. "I'm very okay, Jack. Perspective back, libido healthy, mind clear."

"For now," Jack said knowingly.

"Well, yeah. For now."

"You'll need to continue to see - who are you seeing, by the way?"

"His name is Frank Letterer. Retired Air Force."

Jack nodded. "Good. Good." He moved his hand from Daniel's stomach to his hair, and started to fiddle with spiked strands as he added, "Maybe... maybe I could see him, go with you once or twice?"

Daniel took Jack's busy hand and held it within his own. Eyes dark, he said, "I'm not sure I'm ready for you to know... everything... yet."

"Wouldn't you feel better if... and I find that I need to know, Daniel. I can surmise, imagine, worry, and God knows-"

"Ssh." Daniel placed a finger over Jack's lips.

For several minutes, they lay together, in the same position, eyes locked on each other's faces. Finally, Daniel took a deep breath - and began to tell Jack about Segev.

~~~

The plate clattered on the table and Daniel quickly rescued it and brought it closer. He picked up his fork and cut into a piece of pancake. He avoided looking at the angry man at the counter. As it turned out, it had been Jack who'd not been ready to hear about Segev.

Daniel ate his late breakfast and sipped his coffee while covertly watching Jack as he tidied up -- with a lot of noise, muttering, and clanging of dishware. Anger was in every line of his body as he moved about the room and Daniel simply shook his head. When his good mixing bowl almost took a header off the counter, he decided it was time to do something. He reached over, picked up the phone, which was resting on the morning paper, and dialed Frank.

"Morning, Frank. Yes, I'm fine. Uhm, there have been a few rather startling changes, one having to do with my earlier libido issue - that's correct, it's no longer an issue - and yes, thank you. What? Oh, the other item is that I told Jack everything and he seems to have developed some anger. Next Tuesday?" He glanced up at Jack, who'd finally come to rest and was now leaning against the counter and breathing hard. "Jack? Next Tuesday?"

"We don't head out for P3X-448 until Thursday, so yeah," he ducked his head, "Tuesday would be... good."

"Frank? Tuesday would be fine. Three?" At a nod from Jack, Daniel said, "Three is fine. See you then."

Daniel put the phone down, pushed back his chair and moved to stand in front of Jack. After a moment, he simply took him into his arms. He held him tightly and smiled when Jack's arms wound around his waist. Jack nuzzled his neck and murmured, "I thought I could handle it, Daniel."

"You didn't break anything-"

"Came close," Jack muttered.

"Close only counts in horseshoes and miraculous escapes from system lords."

"Good point. Why is this so hard?"

Daniel cupped the back of Jack's head and rested his lips against the older man's temple. "Because it's called life?"

"Wow, another good point. You're just full of good points today, aren't you?"

Smiling, Daniel nodded. "Yep."

"So, we see this shrink of yours on Tuesday, eh?"

"There are always two victims in situations like this, so yep, we see my 'shrink' on Tuesday."

"But between now and then, you... twitch, right?"

Laughing, Daniel nodded again. "I twitch."

"Are you... twitching... now?"

"No, but given the right incentive, I could be persuaded.."

Jack lifted his head and leaned back enough to see Daniel's face. Grinning, he said, "I've always been an excellent persuader."

"That you have."

This time it was Jack who did the leading. He had a desperate need to connect in every possible way to the man whose hand he currently held.

~~~

They spent the day in bed, alternating between sleeping, "twitching" -- as Jack now called their lovemaking -- eating, and talking. At sunset, Daniel left a napping Jack to head to his piano. The need to make music was, this time, entrenched in joy, not pain.

Sitting down at the beautiful instrument, he decided on Chopin's Claire de Lune. He'd opened the front door, all the shades and shutters, and the summer evening filled the house as he began to play. He let the music convey his mood - mellow - and his contentment. He knew, intellectually, that it wasn't over, that there'd be tough times ahead before Segev was nothing more than a memory, but he was armed now. He had a family he trusted, and he had Jack.

The last of the sun danced over the shiny surface of the piano while his fingers danced over the keys. The sky turned shades of gold and mauve, the colors transforming the room into a golden palace.

In the bedroom, Jack rolled over on his back, awake and listening. Grateful that he'd kept Daniel's piano after his ascension, he climbed out of bed, pulled on his jeans and polo shirt, and walked into the living room. Daniel glanced up, smiled, and with a nod of his head, indicated that Jack should join him on the bench. Grinning, Jack did exactly that.

The music swirled around them while outside, Daniel's neighbors left their homes to sit on their porches and enjoy the end of another summer day - and the music. Others began their evening walk, slowing as they approached the blue house from which the beautiful sounds flowed forth. Children slowed their play and quieted.

Across town, a truck pulled up in front of Sam's house and Pete got out. Flowers in hand, he walked slowly - and uncertainly - up the walkway. He'd just made it to the porch when the door was opened and Sam stood there, smiling. He searched her face, looked into her eyes, and seeing everything he'd hoped to see, walked up, flowers held out.

On a planet thousands of light years away, Teal'c lay under the stars, Ishta in his arms. In spite of the fact that he only had one more day with her, his mind was on Earth - and his two friends. He smiled in the darkness. SG-1 was now stronger than it had ever been and he truly believed it was because O'Neill was where he'd been meant to be. And with the person to whom he belonged. And DanielJackson had finally discovered all that he'd been missing.

They all had.

Family, friendship, trust, honor, and... love.

SG-1.

The End - Servi-1XY13