Homecoming 6

Dreams

by Sistine

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/ass/sistine/homecoming06.php
Summary: Daniel dreams

"Happy Anniversary, love."

Daniel opened his eyes to see Jack staring down at him, a tender expression on his face. His left side felt warm from where Jack was pressed against him, and a heavy arm was draped across his stomach. Daniel blinked a few times as he woke up properly, then he smiled. "Happy Anniversary." They had made it to one year and they were both still very much in love with each other. Daniel found it hard to believe his luck. "What time is it?"

"Half past breakfast," Jack replied, grinning.

Mid-morning, Daniel interpreted that as. "You slept in?"

"Well, we were 'up' for most of the night." Jack's hand moved lower to fondle the part of Daniel that had been 'up'. "I love you so much," he said softly.

"I love you too," Daniel replied, hooking his hand behind Jack's neck and pulling him down for a kiss...

~~~

The hockey was blaring in the background but Daniel wasn't paying much attention to it. He was at Jack's place, trying to read his book on early Mayan architecture, not having wanted to be alone after his experience with the crystal skull. That explained why he was sitting so close to Jack not even minding that when someone scored a goal, Jack would move and jostle him. He needed to know that he was solid again.

When the hockey finally finished, Jack switched the television off and sat back, relaxing. "How's the book?"

"Good." He had ended up not reading a great deal but that hadn't mattered. It was the company that was important tonight.

"Good." Jack put his arm around Daniel's shoulders. "Still feel invisible?"

"No. Thank you." Daniel felt quite good actually. His skin was warm where Jack was touching him. In fact, there was something more than warmth inside him, something he hadn't felt since...

"Any time," Jack responded.

Daniel rested his head on Jack's shoulder. No, he couldn't be falling for Jack...

~~~

"You shot her!" Daniel yelled, furious with his partner.

"Better her dead than you!" Jack yelled back.

"She wouldn't have hurt me!"

"She had already broken your wrist! It would have been a short step from that to breaking your neck!"

Daniel stared at Jack in anger. "She was scared, Jack!"

"She was dangerous!" he countered.

"No! You were jealous of her! You were jealous from the moment we found her!" Daniel accused.

"I was not!"

"You were! She was scared and lonely and you killed her because you were jealous of the time I was spending with her!" Daniel paced to the other end of Jack's office and back. "How could you?"

"I wasn't jealous!" Jack denied vehemently.

"Really? 'Kiss her and see if she wakes up'," Daniel quoted angrily. "'I don't like most of what you say but I try to resist the urge to throw you across the room'." How dare Jack say things like that to him!

Jack's lips thinned. "I was trying to lighten the moment."

"Well, it didn't work!" Daniel stopped in the middle of the room, his unplastered hand on his hip. "You killed a young girl because you were jealous and I don't know if I can forgive you for that."

Jack paled. "I was protecting you!" he protested.

"I don't need that kind of protecting, Jack!"

"Those Replicators would have killed everyone on the base and then on Earth if we hadn't stopped her!"

"You don't know that for sure! And I had almost convinced her when you barged in!" Daniel threw his hand up in disgust, knowing that Jack wasn't in the mood to listen. "I'm going to the apartment. I'll see you tomorrow." Both of them needed time to cool down. And Daniel need to decide whether he could live with Jack's increasing jealousy...

~~~

"I can't do this anymore."

Jack stared at him in shock. Whatever he had been expecting when Daniel had arrived at his house, this wasn't it. "What?"

"I can't do this," Daniel repeated, close to tears. It was tearing him apart inside to do this but he had to do it. Otherwise, things would get nasty as Jack's jealousy continued to grow. Better to stop it now.

"Why not?" Jack sounded bewildered.

"I feel like you don't trust me and I can't live with that anymore."

"I do trust you!" Jack protested. "It's everyone else I don't trust."

"Well, it doesn't feel like that," Daniel shot back. The ache in his heart increased. This was so hard. "I think we need some time away from each other. General Hammond had approved leave for me after this next mission."

Jack sat down hard, his legs giving way. "Where will you go?"

"An old professor of mine has a dig he has asked me to join," Daniel replied, not wanting to give too much away. He knew Jack was perfectly capable of following him to the dig site. "I think it's for the best, Jack."

"I don't." Jack's voice was hoarse. "I need you, Daniel."

"And I need you. But I can't live with the thought that someone else might die because you were jealous of them," Daniel said in a shaky voice, referring to Reese. He still hadn't forgotten that event even though it had been two months ago.

"Daniel--"

"No, Jack." Daniel shook his head. "We need this." He went over to Jack, cupped his lover's face with both hands and kissed him gently. "I love you." Then, not wanting to let Jack see him cry, he walked away...

~~~

"I thought I was going to go nuts!" Jack exclaimed as Daniel opened his apartment door. He had been explaining to Daniel all the way home about the loops. "Do you know how many ten-hour loops I went through?"

"Approximately, yes," Daniel replied, grinning. "You can relax now, Jack, the loops have stopped."

"Finally!" Jack flopped onto the couch. "Do you know how many different things I tried?"

"More than you should have because there were no consequences and you couldn't get into trouble," Daniel stated, settling himself down next to Jack. He felt a hint of desire inside because of Jack's proximity but ruthlessly squashed it.

"Exactly. I played golf through the wormhole, rode my bike through the SGC..." He trailed off. "But there was one thing I didn't do because I didn't want to take advantage."

"Oh? Should I ask what that was?" Daniel prepared himself for hearing something about Sam. He knew Jack had feelings for her; that was why he kept his own feelings hidden.

"Definitely," Jack replied, an undefinable glint in his eyes.

"Okay. What didn't you do?" Daniel asked warily.

"This." Jack turned towards Daniel and quickly leaned in to kiss him.

Daniel couldn't move away, the shock of Jack actually kissing him freezing his muscles. Then, as the pressure on his lips became more demanding, arousal unlocked those muscles. One hand came up to hold Jack in place as Daniel started to return the kiss.

After a minute, Jack pulled back. His eyes were filled with desire. "Wow! That was worth waiting for!"

"Really?" Daniel knew he wasn't the world's greatest kisser, and he didn't know what Jack would see in him anyway.

Jack ran his thumb over Daniel's lower lip. "Oh yeah."

"You didn't try this during the loops?" Surely Jack would have tested the waters first, so to speak.

"Once I realised that I was in love with you, I wanted you to remember our first kiss."

Well, there was no danger of Daniel doing that. "You love me?"

"With all my heart," Jack stated sincerely.

"I love you too, Jack." A broad smile spread across Daniel's face. He had never thought that Jack would feel the same way.

"In that case..." Jack drew Daniel in for another kiss...

~~~

He was floating in the night air. It was dark save for a few streetlights but he could still see the reason he was there. He drew closer and the figure became clearer.

Jack.

The older man was sitting in his rooftop observatory, crying and clutching a bottle of beer. Several other bottles lay strewn around him.

There were words too - Daniel drew closer again so that he could understand them.

"I'm so sorry, Danny, I'm so sorry," Jack was saying over and over again. Tears were streaming down his face.

Daniel reached out to comfort Jack then realised that he couldn't. All he could do was watch.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted to keep you with me."

Daniel knew that Jack had occasionally been insecure about his age and that was the reason behind the jealousy. Jack had never admitted it though.

"I'm so sorry, Danny. I loved you and I killed you."

The guilt in Jack's voice alarmed Daniel. His gaze drifted off to Jack's right and he saw his lover's personal gun. Oh god, Jack was going to kill himself!

Jack reached for the gun. In desperation, Daniel willed it to move out of Jack's reach. To his surprise - and Jack's - the gun actually moved. But that didn't stop Jack. He merely reached for it again so Daniel sent it over the edge of the roof.

Puzzled, Jack stared at the place his gun had been. Then his gaze slowly turned upwards. "Daniel?"

//I'm here, Jack,// Daniel projected the words towards the older man. //I love you.//

"I love you. Please don't leave me."

If Daniel had been corporeal, tears would have formed in his eyes at the pain and grief in Jack's voice. //I had to. I wish I didn't but there was no other choice.//

"I'm so sorry for everything, Danny."

//I know. But this wasn't your fault.// The blame lay solely at the feet of the Kelownans. //You have to keep living.//

"It's so hard."

//Please, Jack.//

Pained brown eyes seemed to look directly at him. "Promise you'll visit."

//I promise.// He had been planning to keep an eye on them all anyway.

"Love you, Danny." Jack closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, still clutching the beer.

//Love you, Jack...//

~~~

Something hard was slowly pushing its way into his body. He breathed through the pain, knowing that the pleasure would start soon. "Jack," he moaned.

"Nearly there," came the response. A warm weight settled over his back. "How're you doin'?"

"Good." The object inside him felt alien but he welcomed it nonetheless. After all, it was a part of Jack.

"Not too sore?"

"Jack, shut up and move."

"I'll take that as a 'no'." Jack leaned down and Daniel turned his head to receive the awkward kiss. At the same time, Jack thrust gently.

Daniel moaned at the sensation. "Again," he ordered, his lips still joined with Jack's. His lover complied and Daniel's back arched as his sweet spot was rubbed. The next few minutes were lost in a haze of pleasurable sensations as Jack slowly made love to him, driving deep into his body. After what seemed like hours yet not nearly long enough, Jack stiffened and there was a flood of heat inside him. His own orgasm followed with such intensity that Daniel greyed out for a few seconds.

For a minute, the only sounds in the room where his and Jack's harsh breathing as they recovered. Then Jack carefully withdrew and shifted off to one side, gathering Daniel into his arms. "That was..." He trailed off and kissed Daniel gently, unable to find the words so using the action to speak for him.

"Mm-hmm," Daniel agreed. He kissed Jack briefly in return then settled down, his head on Jack's shoulder. He had never felt so good in his life...

~~~

Daniel's eyes flew open. The sound of his rapid breathing was loud in the still night air. He and Jack had been lovers. According to his memories, their relationship had turned sour towards the end but they had still loved each other. Now he needed to know whether Jack still loved him and whether that was the reason for Jack's behaviour. However, that could wait until later. Firstly, he needed to determine whether he was still in love with Jack.

His reaction to the last dream - a very solid erection - proved that he was still physically attracted to Jack. Desire thrummed through him but he resisted the temptation to take himself in hand and relieve the tension; it would be embarrassing to explain the stains on the sheets in the morning. But physical attraction didn't necessarily mean love; there had to be other factors involved.

One was obviously the hurt he had felt over Jack's behaviour. A part of him must have remembered either the friendship or the relationship and therefore he had subconsciously been affected when Jack appeared to ignore him.

From what he could remember about love, another sign was a feeling of security, of comfort. Daniel looked back on his feelings when he had been around Jack; despite the confusion and hurt over the older man's behaviour, there had been the underlying feeling that Jack would never hurt him deliberately.

As for the rest... well, he wouldn't know until more time had passed. Would he be able to live with Jack again? Would he be able to deal with Jack's jealousy or would Jack have learnt to control it better? And would their renewed relationship be as good as his memories made it seem? He supposed there was only one way to find out.

Daniel turned his head to look at the clock: nearly six am - it was later than he thought. Should he go and wake Jack for that discussion or should he wait? If Jack was still in love with him, then the latter might be the best option but if he wasn't, then waking him would be the worst thing. Well, he didn't have anything to lose - actually, he did; he had a lot to lose now that he had remembered. But by breakfast time he might have lost his nerve, so it would be better to go now.

Switching on the bedside lamp, he then got out of bed and headed out of the room.

Next: Coming Home