Mirror, Mirror

by Sistine

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/ass/sistine/mirrormi.php
Summary: Amongst all the other things that go wrong when Sam is shifted to another dimension is something personal that she had never expected.
Info: This came to me after reading the synopsis for 'The Road Not Taken' and was written in two hours. All of the future storylines are conjecture since they haven't actually aired but I'm assuming that everything is going to turn out well. If not, well, I'll change this to an AU later .

Everyone is looking at me, waiting for an answer that I don't know how to phrase. What I saw in that other dimension shocked me, one incident in particular, and I can't get it out of my mind. Worse, I can't look at one of the people who was involved and he's sitting right across from me.

I can't believe I never noticed it before. I mean, I know that every dimension is different, they're like alternate realities in that way and in every one of those that we've been to, Jack and I are together. I don't know whether all the Sams I met last year were with their Jacks but I assumed that they were; why else wouldn't they tell me who I... I mean they, were involved with?

I know now. It was by accident that I found out. I was talking to Daniel and followed him into the locker room where he proceeded to get changed into civvies. And the last thing he did was to put on a wedding ring. I thought that he must have got married again as I already knew his first wife was dead - one of the things that we were discussing briefly earlier - so I asked him who the lucky girl was.

He hesitated, and then I saw the picture in his locker.

And I knew.

Daniel was married to Jack.

I had thought that the bottom would fall out of my world but surprisingly, it didn't. I felt anguish though, and humiliation that Jack had been stringing me along for all these years before I remembered that it wasn't my Jack that Daniel was talking about. But hot on the heels of that thought was the one that maybe that was why the Jack in my dimension had never done anything about the attraction between us. And to my utter humiliation, I actually cried.

That Daniel had been so understanding, and he held me until the tears had gone. He also reminded me that what happened in one dimension didn't necessarily happen in all dimensions, something that sustained me until I thought back to the other realities we've seen or know about and realised that in the ones we have concrete knowledge of, Daniel wasn't at the SGC. Jack hadn't had to choose between me and him.

The question was: had he chosen Daniel in my dimension?

"Colonel?"

Jack's impatient voice draws me back to the present. Involuntarily, my eyes met his and I see nothing but confusion there. Pulling myself together, I give him a quick smile and am pleased when he smiles back. There's nothing between him and Daniel. I would know if there was. "Sorry, where was I?"

***

After the briefing, I stay seated until everyone has left, the one fact I left out of my report going round in my head. No matter how much I try to deny it, a part of me is worried that Jack and Daniel are involved, and it doesn't help that the general is here at the SGC helping to figure out a strategy to get Daniel back from being a Prior. I hadn't taken in the speed with which Jack arrived here from Washington but looking back on it now, he must have got on a plane virtually the moment we came back from that mission to report on Daniel's status. And he was here only a few weeks ago too when Daniel first went missing but didn't stay long when he wasn't allowed to go through the Stargate to search. He's been like a bear with a sore head since we found out Daniel was a Prior, although he always tries to put forth a joking demeanour when around other people. But to Teal'c and I, the ones who know him, his fear is plain to see.

As far as we know, there is no way to leave the Ori without dying; and then, of course, the fact that Daniel seems to have voluntarily gone over to their side is extremely worrying. Both Jack and Teal'c are saying that Daniel must have a plan, that he's going to destroy the Ori from within, and I have to admit that it's the only reason that is... well, reasonable. But it's so hard not knowing what that plan is or whether Daniel has actually turned and will be the one to destroy Earth.

I stand and let my feet guide me to Jack's VIP room. He's been spending a lot of time in that room under the guise of working but now I have to wonder whether it's so he can let his guard down and truly mourn what's happened to Daniel. I probably shouldn't intrude but I can't not know the truth. So, bracing myself, I knock briskly on the door.

There's a few seconds of silence and then a muffled, "What?"

"Sir, it's Carter," I call through the door.

After another few seconds, the door opens. Jack's neutral mask is firmly in place and his eyes are assessing. "Come in." Obviously, he has decided that I'm here to talk.

"Thank you." I follow him into the room and watch him close the door for privacy.

"So...?" Jack gestures with his hand, telling me to spill the reason I'm here.

I take a deep breath; this is going to be hard. I would much rather Daniel be here so I can ask him but since he's not... "Sir, I left something out of my report. Something... personal."

"Oh?" Jack's posture doesn't change from where he's leaning against the table but I can see something in his eyes - wariness, perhaps.

"The other dimension didn't have the same rules regarding relationships as we do. And the Daniel from there was married."

Jack frowns briefly in confusion and then his eyes clear in understanding. "Oh. Should I ask who the lucky person is?"

I just stare at him for a few seconds and then he nods. He knows. And he's not surprised. I have my answer. But I still have to dig the knife into my heart further. "He's in love. They both are."

"I don't imagine Daniel would settle for anything less," Jack comments. The smile he gives is soft and my heart hurts at knowing that here, he is also in love with Daniel.

I've lost and I wasn't even aware there was a competition.

My own smile is very tremulous. "Well, I hope he is as lucky here."

"Me too."

The love I hear in his voice, or that I think I hear, undoes me. Fighting back tears, I excuse myself and head quickly for the women's restroom. Fortunately it's empty when I get there so I go into one of the stalls, lock the door and then sink to the floor, tears flowing down my cheeks. I've wasted over seven years of my life wanting a man I could never have, and not once did he or Daniel give me any indication of that. Why hadn't Jack said something? Not all the details but at least he could have said, "Sorry, Sam, but I'm not interested." That would have saved me a lot of heartache, and I could have been married to Pete by now instead of alone.

How could I have been so stupid?

The tears eventually fade and my thoughts clear. I'm happy that Daniel has found someone to love, I just wish it wasn't Jack. But since it is, if Daniel comes back, I won't cause any trouble for him or for Jack. As much as my heart hurts, I realise that I was never really and truly in love - it was the idea of love that was appealing and once I had fixated on Jack, I couldn't get rid of it. It was a way of never having to think about actually getting married because Jack was unattainable while he was at the SGC. He was safe. Safer than I realised.

I could make trouble for Jack but that's not really my style and Daniel doesn't deserve that. If - when - he comes back, he's going to need Jack for support and even at my worst, I couldn't take that away from him. No, I'm just going to have to grin and bear it.

I get up, go out of the stall and fix my make-up so that no-one will hopefully notice that I've been crying. Then I go to my lab and work for several hours in an effort to get back to normal.

It's 1800 hours when Jack calls into my lab. He is dressed in civvies and his hands are stuffed in his trouser pockets, which means that he's not comfortable in being here. I put down the welder and lift my protective mask. "Sir?"

"Are you okay, Carter?" he asks, looking me in the eye. There's more behind that question than most people would hear. But I do.

"I will be," I reply honestly.

"Good." He seems relieved to know that. "Good."

As he turns to leave, I say, "Daniel will come home," wanting to reassure him.

He half turns back to me and gives me that sexy grin. "Never doubted it." And then he was gone.

I raise my eyes to the concrete ceiling and silently pray to anyone who was listening that Daniel would return soon.

Many weeks later...

It's unbelievable.

SG-1 is really disbanding.

Daniel came back not long ago after his sojourn as a Prior and he didn't have to die to leave. He eliminated the Ori threat and, surprisingly, a few days after his return, announced that he was taking a leave of absence from the SGC. Teal'c is going to Dakara to help keep the Jaffa nation in line, given all the corruption we've seen over the past year. And I'm going back to R&D, which will give me plenty of time to spend with my new boyfriend, Alan.

I know why Daniel isn't going to Atlantis, even though he could; the President would let him do anything now for saving the entire galaxy. As soon as Daniel came back, Jack retired. They're going to Minnesota for six months to give Daniel time to recuperate both physically and mentally from his ordeal, and it will also give them the opportunity to just be together. And, if I understand Daniel's cryptic comment, there might be a side-trip into Canada for a special ceremony.

The past few months have given me plenty of time to think and I'm happy for them both now... so long as I don't think too much about what happens between them in bed. I've even moved on with my life. Finding Alan was a complete surprise. He was assigned to Cheyenne Mountain a couple of months ago as a civilian physicist and we just clicked.

Jack is relieved; I think he was still habouring thoughts that I was in love with him. He and Daniel - mainly Daniel - finally told me outright that they had been involved for nearly seven years, ever since 'the Unas incident', as Jack termed it. They had spent a year apart when Daniel ascended - he hadn't wanted to leave but he hadn't had too many other options - and then the last two years had also been difficult. I refrained from chastising Jack for stringing me along, finding that it didn't bother me overmuch anymore. He did apologise - sort of - for that though, so that was nice.

Anyway, I'm glad that I got shifted to that other dimension and got to meet the other Daniel. If I hadn't, I would still be under the assumption that Jack loved me and I would have missed out on the start of something potentially wonderful with Alan.

If only it had happened sooner.