Pleasure Before Pain

by Sistine

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/ass/sistine/pleasure.php
Summary: Jack does something unexpected with Daniel and regrets it until he figures out why he did it

When Jack woke, he didn't move a muscle. He didn't dare. He was stunned. After all, it wasn't every day that he woke up in bed, naked, with Daniel. In Daniel. Jack was very much aware of the part of his anatomy that was actually inside Daniel. The linguist was spooned up in front of Jack, sleeping deeply in Jack's arms.

Naked.

Obviously.

This was not good.

Pieces of the night before flashed through Jack's mind. They had been having their usual Saturday beer and take-away night. Except something had been different. Something had prompted Jack to drink more than he usually did. Then he had started flirting with Daniel, touching him. Jack was unsure when things had started to get intimate but he definitely remembered stroking Daniel's silky skin; licking his way down the sweat-soaked chest; his fingers curling around something hot and hard; and finally, the ecstasy on Daniel's face as Jack pushed deep inside him over and over again.

Jack started to panic as he realised what he had done. He'd had sex with another guy. With Daniel. His best friend, who, like Jack, was completely straight. Why had he done that? Why hadn't Daniel stopped him? It wasn't as if they had both been blindingly drunk, so how had they let this happen?

Slowly and extremely carefully, Jack inched himself away from Daniel. Given how intimately they were connected, that was extremely difficult but he managed to do it. He sat up slowly and looked down at Daniel. The kid looked so peaceful, so content, so... happy. Yet he wasn't a kid, Jack reminded himself. In some ways, Daniel was much older than him. Jack's eyes ran over the naked body, Daniel's bent left leg protecting his modesty. Jack knew how beautiful Daniel was - couldn't help but notice in the showers - but just lying there, he was also vulnerable. Without thinking, Jack reached out a hand to touch Daniel's skin but drew back when he realised what he was doing. He couldn't touch Daniel, not that way, never again. It was against regulations for starters, and it would severely mess up the team dynamics too. There was a reason for not getting involved with teammates, which was why he had never crossed the line.

Until now.

Oh god, he'd had sex with Daniel! Jack fought to control the sick feeling that had settled in his stomach. He remembered that he had enjoyed the sex - in fact, he couldn't ever remember gaining that much pleasure from anyone else - and had been touched when Daniel had fallen asleep in his arms afterwards. But it was wrong and he could never do it again!

Jack got up from the bed and went into his bathroom to shower. He needed to wash away the feel of Daniel, the smell of him, of sex, from his skin. He stepped under the hot spray, welcoming the heat that would wash away the evidence of what he had done. He had never thought about Daniel that way before - okay, maybe the odd thought had crossed his mind - so why now? Jack couldn't think of a single reason why last night had been different from any other night.

As he thought of last night's events, he began to harden, which scared him even more. He wasn't gay! He didn't fancy Daniel that way. Jack tried turning his thoughts to something else but he kept seeing Daniel spread out naked before him, kept hearing the little moans of pleasure the archaeologist had emitted. Stop it! he shouted silently at himself; just stop it!

When his body refused to listen, Jack turned the water off in frustration. He needed to concentrate on damage control now, not on what had happened. How were they going to get past this and yet remain friends? Going back into the bedroom, Jack gathered up his clothes from the floor and quickly dressed. Then he headed up to the roof to think.

***

Before Daniel opened his eyes, he knew Jack was gone. Not just from behind him but out of the house. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, thinking about what had happened the previous night. It had been better than he had ever imagined - Jack had been just the right mix of gentle and rough, seemingly instinctively knowing how to please him the most. Jack had been an extremely skilful and generous lover, and Daniel had willingly surrendered himself to the older man. He hadn't been drunk, and he was pretty sure Jack hadn't been either, so there was no excuse for what had happened, and for that, Daniel was glad.

He had been in love with Jack for some time now, and it had been so hard hiding that fact from everyone. And when Jack had starting flirting, well, Daniel had been sure that his feelings were reciprocated. Daniel had made the first move, kissing Jack tentatively in case the older man rejected him. But there had been no rejection, the kiss soon escalating into something more, something passionate but terrifying because it was so powerful.

Daniel shifted, wincing when he felt the slightly painful reminder of what he had done last night. He had let Jack inside him, not realising how it would feel then and now. He had known it would hurt, which it had initially, but then the pain had dulled as Jack hit his prostate. The pleasure had been overwhelming, and Daniel was sure that he hadn't been screaming in English during that time. He felt a rush of love for Jack for making his - their - first time so special. Daniel was positive that he would never forget the way Jack's lips felt against his skin or just how deep inside him the older man had managed to go. It had been beautiful and intense, and Daniel had fallen asleep surrounded by Jack. The only thing spoiling the whole thing was the fact that they hadn't woken up together. Where was Jack?

Daniel rolled out of bed carefully. His lips curved in a smile. Jack's bed. He ran his hands over the soft sheets. They had made love in Jack's bed. It was still a little bit unreal to him. He had made love with Jack. His best friend and now, hopefully, lover. His dream was coming true. Finally something was going right for him.

He went into to the shower; reluctant to wash away the feel of Jack but knowing he probably smelled of sex and therefore needed to bathe. He made it a quick shower though as he was eager to see Jack again. The hot water stung as it trickled down between his buttocks but he ignored it and thought about why that area was sensitive. Until he had fallen in love with Jack, he hadn't thought much about how two men made love. When he had, he had found it hard to understand why they would do that. Now he knew.

Grabbing the nearest towel, Daniel briskly dried himself then headed back into the bedroom to find his clothes. He didn't rush getting dressed; a few more sore muscles were starting to make themselves known. He had no regrets about last night though, and he hoped that he could do it all again soon. Just as soon as he found Jack.

Padding out to the kitchen in bare feet, Daniel thought about where Jack might be. He couldn't feel Jack's presence in the house but instinct told him that the other man hadn't gone far. As Daniel prepared a cup of coffee, he gazed out into the backyard; no, Jack wasn't there. He went and checked the back door; it was unlocked, which meant that Jack still had to be around somewhere.

Up in his observatory, that is where he would be, Daniel realised. But why was he there? Why hadn't he stayed in bed with Daniel? The linguist's contentment started to fade as he began to have doubts. What if it hadn't meant as much to Jack as it had to him? Although it would hurt him deeply, Daniel had to know. So he grabbed his coffee and headed for the rooftop.

***

Jack heard the back door open and footsteps sound on the wooden veranda. Daniel was obviously awake and looking for him. He hoped Daniel wouldn't think to look up on the roof because Jack wasn't ready to face him just yet. All he had determined from his thinking was that Daniel was going to get hurt when Jack told him that they couldn't do that again. Jack knew his friend didn't do casual, so for him to have gone to bed with Jack, there had to be feelings involved. And Jack was going to have to stomp all over them, possibly risking the team more than if they kept sleeping together. But he had to do it; he didn't love Daniel that way. He couldn't pretend to feel something he didn't.

He sighed as he heard Daniel climb the stairs to the observatory. Better to hurt him now than later, Jack decided, the sick feeling again lodging in his stomach. This was not going to be good.

Daniel hauled himself up onto the decking, carefully holding onto his coffee cup. He noted that Jack didn't even look at him and a sense of foreboding went through him. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around his chest. "Jack?"

"Morning, Daniel." Jack tried to sound as if there was nothing wrong but he knew that he hadn't succeeded. He kept his eyes averted, not wanting to see Daniel as he did this.

"Jack, are you alright?" Daniel sat down next to Jack, wincing slightly as he did so. It looked as though Jack wasn't happy with what had happened last night.

"Peachy." Oh yeah, he was just fine considering what he was about to say to Daniel. Jack hadn't missed the wince of pain as Daniel had sat down either, and felt guilty for causing that. "You?"

"I'm fine." Daniel smiled tentatively as he replied. Something was wrong but he couldn't figure out what. "Jack--"

"We can't do that again," Jack blurted out, wanting the conversation over and done with.

Pain sliced through Daniel's heart and he almost lost his grip on the mug. "What? Why... why not?"

Jack dropped his head into his hands. He had been right - Daniel did have feelings for him. "Because it's not right, that's why."

"Why isn't it right?" Daniel wanted to know exactly what Jack thought was so wrong about it. Personally, he couldn't see anything wrong with what they had done, except maybe for the fact that other people thought it was against nature. "If we love each other-"

"Daniel..." Jack interrupted then paused, unable to say the words to deny it. Daniel loved him; how could Jack break his heart now? He watched as understanding and then pain came over the younger man's face.

"You - you don't love me?" Daniel's voice was very soft as he hugged himself tightly, coffee spilling over the edge of the mug. Jack didn't love him. He should have known that his dreams never came true.

"As a friend, yes." Jack returned his gaze to the floor, unable to cope with seeing Daniel's pain.

"Then why did you--?" Daniel broke off, not able to ask why Jack had slept with him. He had given his body to Jack because he thought that his love had been returned. How wrong he had been.

"I don't know." He really didn't. It had seemed like the right idea at the time though. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? What we did last night, I've never done with anyone else, Jack. I trusted you and you're sorry?!" Daniel couldn't believe he was hearing this. Anger started to get mixed in with the hurt. How dare Jack do this to him!

Jack hated hearing those words. He knew Daniel trusted him and he had abused that trust, not to mention the linguist's feelings. And to know that he was the only one whom Daniel had trusted - loved - enough to let inside him... Jack felt even guiltier about the whole thing. "You shouldn't have let me."

"No," Daniel agreed. "I shouldn't have." If he had known that Jack didn't love him, then he wouldn't have slept with the older man. But they couldn't turn back the clock. Both of them would have to live with what they had done. He got up and moved to stand at the rail which overlooked the backyard. Could he live with that? Could he work with Jack and not think about the pleasure they had shared or of how it felt to have Jack inside him? He absently sipped his coffee as he contemplated this.

"This doesn't have to affect our relationship," Jack pressed on. He looked up, saw the younger man's defeated posture, and knew he was lying.

"Yes, it does." Daniel focused his eyes on the big tree in the middle of the yard, using that as a focus so that he didn't lose control of his emotions.

"Daniel, it wouldn't work anyway - us, that is. We're so different. And besides which, it's against regulations." Why couldn't Daniel accept that? He knew how important Jack's career was to him.

"So? You frequently break regulations," Daniel pointed out. "Why is this one so important?" He had never quite understood the homophobic nature of the military. In ancient times, it was quite the done thing to find a lover from amongst the other soldiers.

"Because it is." Jack couldn't explain why it was, but it was. "Please, Daniel, just accept this. It was a mistake and it can never happen again."

Focusing on the tree was no longer helping, and Daniel cursed himself as tears came to his eyes. Jack didn't want him. No-one ever wanted him. "Fine." He turned, ready to head down the stairs.

"Daniel." Jack held out a hand to stop him, and pain sliced through him when Daniel shied away from the touch. He saw the unshed tears in the younger man's eyes and hated that he was the one who had put them there. "I'm not worth it." Daniel could have his pick of anyone; why would he choose Jack?

"Yes, you are," Daniel replied softly before continuing down the stairs. He needed to go back to his apartment and wallow for a while. Maybe try to drown his sorrows. Something. Anything so long as it was well away from Jack.

The colonel watched Daniel leave, tears coming to his own eyes because of what he had done. Daniel, for some strange reason, loved him and trusted him only to have it thrown back in his face. He had given Jack everything last night, and Jack felt privileged because of that. But he also felt like a heel because there hadn't been any love involved on his side, just lust. He had used Daniel. He was no better than the likes of Shyla or Hathor, maybe even worse. He hadn't raped Daniel physically but mentally... Jack knew that Daniel had gained much pleasure from the sex and now that would be tainted by the knowledge that it wasn't with someone who was in love with him. Daniel deserved someone who could love him more than Jack could, and would never do what Jack had just done. Not a guy though. Maybe... a woman. Someone like Sha're. Not another man though. Most men were only after one thing, and Jack didn't want Daniel to get hurt again. Yeah, a nice woman.

Why didn't that thought make him feel any better?

***

Daniel walked quietly to the infirmary the next morning after arriving at the SGC. He had debated with himself about whether or not to come in and had decided that he should make the effort because he didn't want anyone coming to get him. Fortunately he hadn't seen Jack yet, which was good because Daniel didn't know how he was going to face the older man. After spending all of Sunday thinking about what had happened and how Jack had just pushed him away, Daniel was feeling very depressed. He still couldn't believe that he had read Jack so badly on Saturday night. Maybe he had been projecting his own feelings onto Jack because the other man certainly didn't love him. It hurt to think that Jack had just used to him to get laid; Daniel had never thought Jack could do such a thing. And now Jack was going to treat him differently, was going to avoid him because of what they had shared, and Daniel was seriously contemplating leaving the SGC because of it. He didn't think that he could live with seeing Jack every day, knowing that their friendship had been destroyed.

Janet was waiting for him when he got to the infirmary and he obediently sat on the bed to let her conduct the pre-mission exam. He knew that the others would have already been in for their check-ups so he was safe from Jack for a little while longer. He was so caught up in his thoughts of Jack that he didn't notice when Janet's expression changed.

"Daniel, can you turn around for me, please?" Janet had noticed a couple of small red marks on Daniel's chest that looked suspiciously like bite marks. When she saw some scratches on his back, she grew concerned. "Undo your trousers please, Daniel." She was slightly surprised when he complied straight away, which increased her concern. Daniel had been withdrawn since he had arrived. Something was definitely bothering him.

The feel of hands touching his bare buttocks caused Daniel to break off his thoughts and focus on what Janet was doing. He quickly pulled his clothes back up and moved away from her, embarrassed by what she must have seen.

Janet was now definitely worried. The scratches and bites, the bruising around the anus, the small bruises on his left hip, the skittishness and withdrawn behaviour all indicated that something serious had happened. "Daniel--"

"I'm fine," Daniel quickly assured her. One look at her face told him that she knew what he had done.

"No, you're not," Janet disagreed. Daniel was far from fine. "You can tell me what happened."

"Nothing happened." He could see what she was thinking and he had to head that off straight away. "I wasn't raped."

Janet didn't believe him; his body language was screaming that he was distressed. If it was consensual, he wouldn't be upset about it. "It does happen, Daniel."

"I know that." After Hathor, he definitely knew that. "It wasn't rape," he repeated. It might as well have been though, because he was sure feeling the same way. He hugged his arms across his chest even tighter.

"I'm sorry, Daniel, but I don't believe you," Janet stated flatly. "There's evidence to suggest some force was used, and you're obviously upset."

"Of course I'm upset! My private life has nothing to do with this base!" Especially when he wasn't going to be there for much longer. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as the room started to spin. He needed to calm down and rationally convince Janet that there was nothing to worry about.

Janet went to reply to that but stopped when she saw Colonel O'Neill enter the room. She saw his face tighten when he saw Daniel, and she looked at the linguist to watch his reaction. When Daniel saw the colonel, his face filled with anguish before it was quickly hidden behind a blank mask, and Janet suspected that she knew who Daniel had slept with. She couldn't believe that the colonel would force Daniel like that but there was no other explanation.

Daniel's pain increased when he saw Jack standing there, no sign of remorse or friendship on his face. His heart thumping wildly, Daniel turned to Janet and said, "I'm fine." He then took two steps forward before collapsing to the floor, unconscious.

Janet was immediately at his side, checking his vital signs. When she was satisfied that he had just fainted, she turned to the colonel, who was watching them both anxiously. "He's alright, Colonel. I need you to help me get him onto the bed so I can run some tests." She needed to know why Daniel had fainted.

Jack slowly stepped forward, unable to take his eyes off Daniel. What had he done to Daniel? The linguist had been clearly distressed when Jack had arrived in the infirmary, and he had looked pale and drawn. Had Daniel slept at all last night? Jack hadn't managed more than a couple of hours himself because he had been feeling guilty over all of his actions. If he had felt that bad, how much worse must Daniel have been feeling? Danny, I'm sorry, he mentally projected at the unconscious man as he helped Fraiser lift Daniel onto the nearest bed. The last thing in the world he had ever wanted to do was hurt Daniel.

"Out of my way, Colonel," Janet ordered while getting a syringe ready to draw some blood from Daniel.

Automatically, Jack stepped back, his eyes not leaving Daniel's pale face. If only Saturday night hadn't happened. Jack wished he didn't regret it but he did, especially now he knew how much it had meant to Daniel. How could he make things better again?

"Daniel is not going on that mission, Colonel, so you had better inform the general." Janet could see regret in the colonel's eyes, which confirmed her suspicions about who Daniel's partner had been. O'Neill had slept with Daniel. And if Janet discovered that it had been through force, then she wouldn't bother telling General Hammond - she would kill O'Neill herself. No-one, especially not the colonel, was allowed to treat Daniel that way.

"Right." Jack looked at Fraiser and was surprised to see anger in the woman's face. Why was she mad at him? She couldn't possibly know about him and Daniel, could she? "I'll just-" he pointed to the door and then left the infirmary.

Once the colonel was gone, Janet reached over to gently remove Daniel's glasses. She was going to have to be very careful when he awoke to find out what had happened between him and the colonel. Daniel's track record with coercive sex wasn't good, and she hated to think that it had happened again. Pushing that aside for the moment, she set about doing her tests.

***

"Where's Doctor Jackson?" General Hammond asked as he entered the briefing room. Only three members of SG-1 were present.

"Infirmary, sir," Jack replied. "He passed out and Fraiser's keeping him there to find out why." He wouldn't mind knowing exactly why either.

Sam looked across at the colonel, worried about Daniel. "What happened?"

"I dunno. One second he was standing there, then he wasn't." It had happened shockingly quickly, and Jack could admit now to being a little scared because of it. He loved Daniel as a friend and didn't want to see anything bad happen to him.

"Very well." Hammond would check in with Doctor Fraiser later. "Your mission to B9Q-441 is a routine mineral survey so it can be done with a three-man team. You leave in an hour."

Jack's, "Yes, sir," was echoed by Carter. Jack got up quickly, planning on gearing up and then dropping in at the infirmary to see how Daniel was going.

***

Daniel awoke to find himself attached to an IV drip, and Janet hovering at his side. He looked at her in confusion. "What happened?"

"You fainted. Your blood sugar levels were low. When did you last eat?" Janet knew from experience that with Daniel, it was entirely possible that he had forgotten to eat all weekend. Add to that the number of missions Daniel had been on recently, and the hours he spent on the base working instead of sleeping, and it was no wonder that Daniel had run himself down. He had a slight fever as well, so it was possible that he had a virus on top of all that.

"Don't remember," Daniel muttered, lying through his teeth. He knew that the last thing he had eaten was pizza on Saturday night; he had been too depressed to eat anything on Sunday.

"In that case, it's been too long," Janet said, recognising the guilty avoidance. Really, Daniel ought to know better. But she supposed it was understandable given what the colonel had done to him. "I'll get you some breakfast and you're going to eat every last bit of it," she ordered gently but firmly. She would make sure that he did.

"I'm not hungry," Daniel protested. He still didn't feel like eating anything, especially after seeing Jack earlier.

"Then I'll keep you in here until you are," Janet threatened.

"Fine then." So long as Jack didn't come in, then that was fine with Daniel. He rolled onto his side facing away from Janet, careful not to pull the IV out. Why had he come in to work this morning? Oh, the mission! They were supposed to go on a mission to B9Q-441 today. He rolled back again. "Janet?"

"No, you are not going off-world, Daniel," she anticipated the question. He would collapse as soon as he exited the wormhole. "And when you're ready, we need to have a talk."

"About what?" He had heard the lectures about neglecting his health thousands of times.

"About what Colonel O'Neill did to you."

Daniel jumped, startled that she had somehow guessed. "Jack didn't do anything to me," he lied, not wanting the older man to get into trouble over this.

"Yes, he did. I saw how you reacted to him earlier." Daniel had been very upset. "Did he hurt you?"

Not in the way you're thinking, Daniel silently replied, wrapping his arms around his chest. "No, he didn't."

Janet pursed her lips. She knew Daniel was lying but she didn't know how she was going to get him to tell the truth. "Daniel..."

"I'm fine." He looked directly at her, begging her with his eyes to drop the subject.

"Daniel!" Sam strode over to the linguist's bedside, pleased to see him awake. She was geared-up for the mission and had decided to drop in and see how he was. "You'll do anything to get out of a mineral survey, won't you?" she teased, pleased when she received a small smile in response.

"It was this or breaking something," Daniel replied, warmed by the fact that she had come to see him. "This was less painful and only short-term."

"Good choice." She moved closer, seeing the dark circles under his eyes. That look was all too familiar to her. "Late night?"

"Kind of." If not sleeping counted. Anticipating her next question, he said, "I'm fine, Sam. I just forgot to eat, that's all."

"Well, you're going to eat now," Janet said, bringing over a tray of food. "He'll be up and about by the time you get back, Sam. If he eats everything."

Sam grinned at the sullen pout on Daniel's face. He hated it when anyone mothered him and forced him to look after himself. "We should be back in a few hours. I'll let the others know you're okay." She patted Daniel on the arm and then left.

Like Jack will care, Daniel thought to himself as he watched Sam leave. Then he looked at the food in front of him, which wasn't very appetising. "I'm really not hungry."

"You know the options, Daniel."

Unfortunately, he did. Reluctantly, he picked up some toast and ate a mouthful. It was dry and got stuck in his throat so he had to drink some water to help it go down. At least if he was eating, though, he couldn't answer Janet's questions. He forced himself to eat another mouthful, well aware of Janet's eagle eyes on him. "Happy?" he asked when he swallowed.

"Not yet," Janet replied. "You know that anything you tell me is confidential."

Sure, unless it was 'Jack raped me', in which case she would go straight to Hammond. Even 'I slept with Jack' would probably get that too. And anyway, he didn't want anyone else to know that he had been stupid enough to sleep with Jack without finding out his feelings first. The whole thing was way too humiliating as it was. "There's nothing to tell."

"You had sex with another man, Daniel, and your behaviour leads me to believe that it was forced. So I think that there is something to tell." Normally she wouldn't persist but this was very serious.

"How many times do I have to say I wasn't raped? I just... made a mistake, that's all. Now can we please drop the subject?" Why wouldn't she believe him? Did she think the only times that he ever had sex were when he was coerced into it? That was not very flattering.

"Okay." Janet gave in. If Daniel wasn't going to say anything then she would have to accept that. However, she could talk to Colonel O'Neill about it - carefully, of course - and warn him that she knew.

After Janet left, Daniel slumped back against the pillows. Everything was such a mess. If only he hadn't let things go so far on Saturday night - that was the root of the problem. But he had been so sure that it was the right thing to do. How could he have been so wrong?

Jack stood at the infirmary door and watched Daniel for a minute. He had spoken to Janet briefly and she had said Daniel's collapse was due to exhaustion and a lack of food. Jack knew that was his fault; because he had pushed Daniel away, the linguist probably hadn't eaten or slept because he was too hurt inside. But it had been better to hurt him a little now than a lot later, Jack reminded himself. When he saw Daniel's eyes fall on him, the younger man then withdrawing into himself, Jack felt guilty again. Why had he let things go so far?

"What do you want, Jack?" Daniel thought he saw remorse in Jack's expression for a second but he no longer trusted himself to read the other man correctly.

"I came to see how you were." Jack took a few steps into the room, stopping when he saw Daniel's closed-off expression.

"I'm fine. Now you can go." Daniel avoided looking at Jack, his mind starting to remember the feel of Jack's hands skimming over his skin. There was no way he was going to be able to work with Jack if the sight of him triggered the memories.

"Daniel, I'm sorry about what happened." Jack decided to get closer to him so he stepped up to the bed, disregarding the fact that Daniel became even more closed-off. "We can work past it though."

"I can't," Daniel stated. Summoning his anger at Jack's actions, he glared up at the older man. "You might be able to dismiss it but I can't. I can't forget it, Jack, much as I want to."

For some reason that Jack couldn't fathom, he was disappointed that Daniel wanted to forget what they had shared, completely ignoring the fact that he himself had vowed to do the same thing. Daniel was supposed to be in love with Jack; why would he want to forget? Maybe because you broke his heart, Jack's inner voice suggested.

"So just go, Jack," Daniel interrupted the other man's thoughts. "You've done your duty as a 'friend'." He placed a sarcastic emphasis on the last word. They couldn't go back to just being friends, not now.

"We're not finished with this discussion," Jack argued.

"Yes, we are," Daniel disagreed firmly. Even if they weren't, they couldn't talk about it on the base.

Jack considered arguing more but a good look at Daniel's face told him not to. He realised then just what Saturday night had cost him - his best friend. Daniel might love him but he now also hated Jack as well. Somehow, he had to fix that. "I'll be back in a few hours."

"Whatever." Daniel vowed to be out of the infirmary by then and hiding someplace where Jack wasn't going to disturb him. He saw the flicker of hurt cross Jack's face at the abrupt dismissal but forced himself not to feel guilty about it. Jack certainly hadn't cared about hurting Daniel yesterday, so why should he? Slumping against the pillow again, he resumed staring straight at the wall.

Janet went back into her office to think about what she had just overheard. She had been on her way back to Daniel when she had heard Colonel O'Neill's voice, and curiosity had made her stop and listen to their conversation. Although they hadn't said anything specific, it was clear the colonel had done something that Daniel couldn't forgive him for. And Janet was certain she knew what that was. The question now was, what was she going to do about it? She couldn't believe the colonel would force Daniel into having sex, especially knowing how close they were, but the evidence was clear. General Hammond ought to be told but she was reluctant to do so because she knew how upset Daniel would get over the loss of privacy. But she had to do something; the colonel was not allowed to hurt Daniel like that. She was going to have to think very carefully about her next move.

***

The mission was extremely boring from Jack's perspective. Carter was collecting soil samples or something - he had to admit he hadn't really been listening during the briefing - and Teal'c was helping her out, which left Jack to walk the perimeter. This was actually a good thing because he had time to think.

What was he going to do about Daniel? Jack had worked so hard on his friendship with the younger man, the two of them being almost complete opposites. Still, they had managed to become friends.

Up until now.

Jack still couldn't remember all of Saturday night clearly. He didn't want to remember it. It was bad enough that he knew what Daniel's skin tasted like, how soft his lips were, what his erection felt like. What it was like to be buried deep inside him. It had been different to a woman, tighter somehow. Jack had been completely blown away by how good it had all felt. He realised now that Daniel had held nothing back, presumably secure in the belief that Jack loved him too. Why hadn't either of them said something about that before things had intensified?

He was a heel; there was no doubt about it. And Daniel was never going to forgive him. Jack hadn't known that Daniel had never slept with another man before; he had assumed the linguist had known what he was doing. Daniel had given Jack his body - which showed just how much he loved and trusted Jack - and the older man had basically thrown it back in his face. Way to go, O'Neill, he thought.

"Sir, we're ready to leave."

Pulling his thoughts back to where they should be, Jack nodded at Carter. "Let's go then." He headed off towards the gate, weighed down with guilt. Had he just destroyed the best thing in his life? There was only one way to find out.

***

Daniel sat at his desk, his thoughts far away from the translation in front of him. Ever since Janet had let him out of the infirmary, he had been just sitting there, staring, his eyes unseeing. Thinking. Remembering.

His mind kept playing the events of the other night over and over again. He had been so nervous when he had kissed Jack, uncertain as to whether it was the right thing to do. But Jack had responded, first with gentleness and then with a hunger that had surprised Daniel. He couldn't remember much about how he had become separated from his clothes or how they had got into the bedroom. After that, though, everything was perfectly clear. He had spent plenty of time mapping Jack's body with his lips and fingers, and had been very impressed by the size of the older man's erection. Daniel remembered stroking the hard flesh but he hadn't had the courage to taste it. Jack had then returned the favour, setting Daniel alight with desire. That must have been when I got the scratches, he mused; he hadn't even noticed at the time.

When Jack had nudged him onto his side, Daniel hadn't protested. Then he had felt a finger pushing inside him, shocking him. His mind had warned him then not to let Jack do that but his heart had overridden the warning. He had wanted Jack for so long that caution was thrown away. Two fingers had stretched him and he had started to feel a slight burning sensation. He had also felt a lot of pleasure, more than he thought he would. It was about then that he stopped speaking English, reverting to his first language of Egyptian.

It had hurt a lot when Jack finally pushed inside him, the older man's fingers bruisingly hard on his hip to hold him in place. Tears had come to his eyes, and he had fought the pain, and Jack had held still, comforting him until Daniel was ready to move again. He couldn't find the words to describe the rest, only that it had felt right to be making love with Jack. Then afterwards, he had fallen asleep in Jack's embrace, still connected intimately with the other man, secure in Jack's love.

Too bad it had all been a lie.

The ache in his groin pulled him back to the present. Jack had rejected him. Oh, he hadn't actually said that he didn't love Daniel but it had been implicit in his words and body language. Daniel's erection started to fade as he thought about Jack's words - 'It was a mistake and it can never happen again'. A mistake. The most earth-shattering event in his life and Jack said it was a mistake. The words had hurt deeply then and they still did. Jack had broken his heart with those words, and Daniel knew he would never be whole again.

He impatiently brushed away the tears in his eyes, hating that he was upset over the whole thing. His whole life - since his parents had died - he had kept himself distanced from everyone, not wanting to get close to them. With all the shifting around he did, he wouldn't allow himself to become attached to them either, knowing it would hurt when he had to leave. Then he had met Jack, and soon after, Sha're. He had felt an instant connection with Sha're but it had taken longer to recognise the one with Jack. He had, however, chosen to remain with Sha're, not wanting to go back to a world that ridiculed him. When he had gone back to Earth, the connection with Jack had still been there but it had changed slightly because of the change in both of them. It hadn't been until he had fallen in love with Jack that he had realised that the connection had contained attraction right from the first day; he just hadn't seen it. The attraction had obviously been mutual but not the love.

A single tear escaped to roll down his cheek and splash onto the translation in front of him. He stared at the damp spot, watching as the ink started to blur. His life had been irrevocably changed by Jack in so many ways over the last few years because he had let Jack past all his automatic defences. He was part of a team and, he had hoped, a family. He and Jack had shared a special bond. Now all that was no more.

Going over to his other desk, Daniel opened a new file on the computer and quickly typed up his resignation. He would not be able to work at the SGC now, not with the knowledge that Jack was there. Resigning might seem a little drastic but there was nothing keeping him there. Sha're was dead, the Harsesis was being looked after by Oma Desala, and exploring new worlds didn't hold the same thrill if he couldn't do it with Jack. So he would leave and find another job.

He pressed the button to print out the letter. While it was printing, he put his folded arms on the desk and then rested his head on them. He tried to fight the urge to close his eyes - he didn't want to go to sleep with SG-1 due back soon - but he lost the battle. Soon, he was fast asleep.

***

All three members of SG-1 were concerned when they arrived back from the mission and Daniel wasn't waiting for them. An inquiry to Janet yielded the information that she had released Daniel two hours previously. The three concerned teammates then, after getting changed, went looking for their archaeologist.

They found him in his office, sound asleep in his chair, his head resting on his arms. Sam ventured forward to him while Jack lingered near the other desk, avoiding looking at the young man. His gaze dropped to the pile of stuff on the desk, and then he saw the blurred spot on the translation. He knew what it meant - Daniel had been crying. Or more likely, trying not to cry. For that to happen here, Jack knew that Daniel must be either extremely upset or extremely tired, maybe both.

"Sir."

Carter's voice was soft, presumably trying not to wake Daniel. "What?"

"Look at this." She held out a sheet of paper.

Jack took it and read the words printed there. His heart leapt into his throat as he read Daniel's resignation. Not a transfer but a resignation.

"Why would he do this?" Sam had thought everything was going well, and Daniel had certainly shown no signs of wanting to leave.

"I don't know," Jack lied hoarsely, not seeing the suspicious looks his teammates gave him. This was all his fault; he had driven Daniel out because of his actions. It should be him resigning, not Daniel. "But we're not going to let him."

Sam agreed with that. She threaded her fingers through Daniel's short hair, noting that he didn't even stir. He must be extremely exhausted, she thought. "No, we're not."

Teal'c quietly moved past MajorCarter and, easily picking up the scholar, moved him to the small cot in the corner. The young man stirred briefly because of the change in location then settled back into his sleep. The Jaffa was uncertain as to why the scholar would want to resign but he believed that O'Neill knew, and was perhaps even the cause. Teal'c had observed that DanielJackson cared greatly for the warrior; perhaps O'Neill had done something to hurt him.

Jack looked at the sleeping man and was reminded of the previous morning. Except Daniel hadn't been so pale and drawn. Again he cursed himself for causing this. It was all his fault. He looked down at the paper in his hand. Somehow he had to fix it. "Leave it to me." Decision made, he left the office and headed for his own. He had something that he needed to write.

Sam shared a look with Teal'c. "What was that about?"

"I do not know," Teal'c replied. But he suspected that they would find out soon enough.

***

When Jack went up to Hammond's office, Fraiser stopped him outside the door. "What?"

"I need to talk to you, sir." Janet had just delivered her report about Daniel to the general, excluding the information about the sexual assault; she hadn't wanted to mention it until she was certain.

"Sure, what about?" Jack remembered the look from earlier and the anger that had been in her eyes. Maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to find out the reason behind it.

"Daniel." She turned and headed for the elevator, certain that the colonel would follow her. He would be curious to know what she was going to say.

With a feeling of trepidation, Jack followed her silently all the way to her office. He sat in the chair opposite her and asked, "What about Daniel?"

Janet decided to bypass 'don't ask, don't tell' and go straight for the truth. "Did you sexually assault Daniel on the weekend?"

"What?" Jack was stunned for a few seconds. What had Daniel said to Fraiser? No, he wouldn't have said anything, Jack told himself. There's no way Daniel would want to discuss his mistake with Fraiser. "No, I didn't!"

"Sir, this is a serious matter."

"I know that! I didn't assault him!" And that was the truth. How on earth had Janet come up with that allegation?

"So what happened?" Janet wasn't entirely sure that she believed him although his denial seemed genuine enough. But if it was true, then why was Daniel so upset?

"This is off-the-record, right?" He didn't want anything going on Daniel's record; his own didn't matter since he was going to retire. When Janet nodded, he continued. "We got drunk and had sex. Then I told him it was a mistake."

That explained a lot, Janet thought, surprised that the colonel had actually told her. And for Daniel to be so depressed, she assumed that he had taken the whole thing pretty hard. "A mistake?"

"Yeah, you know. Regulations and all."

That was interesting. "Did you want to have sex with Daniel, sir?" She had noticed how the colonel couldn't keep his hands off Daniel.

"Excuse me?" Jack was shocked that she had even asked that question. "Not that it's any of your business, but no, I didn't."

"Why not?"

"Why not?" Jack echoed incredulously. "Because he's my best friend, that's why not!" And best friends don't sleep with each other, especially if they're both men, he added silently.

"And you told him this?"

"More or less."

Poor Daniel. "Sir, are you sure that you don't love him that way? I mean, the impulse had to come from somewhere." Maybe the colonel was just in denial over his feelings.

"I'm pretty sure I would have noticed if I'd started wanting to sleep with Daniel," Jack stated sarcastically. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go resign."

"Colonel?"

"Daniel's more important to the Stargate program than I am." Colonels were a dime a dozen. Linguists with Daniel's unique skills weren't. "I don't want to cause him any more pain that I already have," he muttered as he stood up.

That was good to hear, although Janet knew that she wasn't supposed to have heard that. But it wasn't going to solve anything. "Colonel, are you positive that you don't love him?"

Jack stopped and thought about it. "Not entirely, no. But there's nothing I can do about it even if I did, is there?" With that, he left the office, leaving Janet staring after him, deep in thought.

***

Daniel woke from his sleep feeling worse than before. He had slept too deeply and now he had a headache. He wearily pushed himself up from the cot and...

Wait a minute. How did he end up on the cot? He could have sworn that he had been in his chair when he had drifted off to sleep. Since he didn't sleepwalk - as far as he knew - someone had to have put him there. But who? Sam wasn't strong enough to shift him, so it had probably been Teal'c or Jack... actually, scratch the latter. Jack wouldn't have wanted to touch him so it must have been Teal'c. And if any members of SG-1 had been in to see him... yep, his resignation was gone. He knew he shouldn't have fallen asleep because that had given the others the opportunity to find out what he was up to and try to stop him. He doubted that Jack would care but the others might.

Finding his glasses - someone had put them on the desk - he got himself a cup of coffee then sat down at the computer. But before he could start to type anything, the gate alarm sounded.

***

Jack stepped out of the elevator on level 28 in time to hear the red alert siren start up. His reason for being there forgotten, he ran up to the control room to see what was going on. Hammond was already there. "Who is it?" Jack asked as he halted beside the general.

"We don't know--"

"Sir, it's SG-6," Sergeant Davis reported.

"Open the iris."

Carter ran up the steps into the room. "What's going on?"

"SG-6 is returning," Jack replied. Then he was distracted by the sight of Daniel entering the control room. His friend didn't look well rested, and there was a noticeable tightness around his eyes that indicated he had a headache.

"They weren't due to report in for another three hours," Hammond stated, oblivious to the tension between the two men. Returning early was never a good sign.

The group waited patiently for the team to come through but no-one did. After a few minutes, the wormhole shut down by itself.

"Sergeant, send a MALP through," Hammond ordered. He didn't like the fact that no-one had returned. "Colonel, prepare your team and SG-3 for a Search and Rescue."

"Yes, sir." Jack looked over at Daniel, who was deliberately ignoring him. Would they be able to work together or should he request that Daniel stay behind for this mission? The younger man might not thank him for that but it would be better than going through and getting injured because Daniel hated him. No, he would wait and see how Daniel behaved in the locker room. Then he would decide.

Daniel tried to ignore the fact that Jack was behind him all the way to the locker room. He would have to put aside his feelings on this mission so that the team could function properly but after that, he would hand in his resignation and leave.

It was quiet in the locker room as all four members quickly got ready. Sam noticed that Daniel was doing his best not to look at the colonel, while the colonel was glancing worriedly at the linguist. Something was definitely going on there but now was not the time to ask. She just hoped it wouldn't affect the mission.

When Jack was ready, he ordered, "Carter, take Daniel and stop by the infirmary. I want to make sure that he's clear for duty." He ignored the angry glare sent in his direction; if Daniel wasn't fit enough to go, then as team leader, Jack needed to know. Everyone's welfare was his responsibility.

"Yes, sir." To Sam, the fact that the order had been given to her spoke volumes. Something bad had happened between the two men.

"I'm fine," Daniel bit out. How dare Jack treat him like a child! Why didn't he just come right out and say that he didn't want Daniel on the team?

"Yeah, well, you fainted earlier and you've just taken two tablets for a headache, so excuse me for making sure," Jack responded heatedly. He met Daniel's glare with one of his own. "You will get checked out or you will stay here, is that clear?"

"Perfectly, Colonel." Daniel slammed the locker door shut and stormed out of the room. So much for remaining friends! It seemed that Jack was now going to pull rank on him; well, two could play at that game. Daniel would be the perfect little soldier for the mission and then he was going to get the hell out of Jack's life.

After a bewildered glance at the colonel, Carter hurriedly followed Daniel out of the room. Biting back a curse, Jack slammed his own locker door shut. He had just made things worse between him and Daniel, which hadn't been his intention; he had just wanted to make sure that the linguist was alright. Instead, he had just proven that they wouldn't be able to remain friends. Following Daniel's example, he stormed out of the room, leaving Teal'c to speculate on what the trouble was.

Ten minutes later, Daniel and Carter walked into the gateroom. Everyone else was ready to go. Jack didn't bother asking how things had gone; if Daniel was there, then he had been cleared for duty. Addressing the teams, Jack said, "All right people, this is a search and rescue. The hostiles have got several of our people, and are armed and dangerous. Exercise extreme caution. Move out." He stepped aside for SG-3 to take point through the gate.

"Armed, sir?" Carter asked.

"The natives aren't friendly, Major," Jack replied just before stepping through.

The reason for his words became clear when the teams stepped out onto the planet and saw a body in an SG uniform lying on the ground near the DHD. A spear was sticking out of his back. The medics who had accompanied the S&R team immediately went over to the man to check on him but they quickly discovered that he was dead.

"Johnson must have made it to the gate, dialled Earth, and was then was attacked by the locals," Jack surmised.

"Why did they leave him here?" Sam queried.

Daniel looked over at Sam and away from the dead man. "Probably because he was dead. A dead hostage isn't much use." He was beginning to get a bad feeling about the mission already.

Jack grimaced. "Okay, people, let's move out. Keep your eyes peeled." He didn't want any new casualties.

Daniel soon found himself in the middle of the group, protectively surrounded by the rest of SG-1. He allowed himself a brief moment of annoyance at this and then pushed it aside; time enough to dwell on that after they all go home safely. Although, a well-placed spear would certainly solve his current problem... No! He wasn't going to think like that! Sure, Jack had used him and broken his heart but he would be able to live with that; in reality, it wasn't all that different to how other people had treated him in the past. He had just thought that Jack was different, that was all.

Shaking his head to rid himself of those thoughts, Daniel brought himself back to the present. He had to stay alert, be part of a team; he would never forgive himself if someone died because of his inattention.

The S&R team finally made it to the village without encountering any of the locals. They took cover in the trees surrounding the houses and assessed the situation.

"The structures are similar to those of the Aztecs," Daniel contributed as he looked at the square stone houses. There was also a temple at one end of the town, the building twice as high as the surrounding structures.

"Which means...?" Jack prompted.

"Well, the Aztecs are renowned for being a very violent race. They tended to cut out the sacrifice's heart while the person was still alive. The victims were usually prisoners, captured warriors and the like."

That did not bode well for SG-6, or indeed anyone else who got captured. "Any idea when they usually did the sacrificial thing?"

"Not really. The stories differ in details like that," Daniel admitted. "It also seemed to depend on which god they were sacrificing to."

"Right." That was helpful. Jack was silent for a few moments, weighing up the options. "Alright, we need intel - where are SG-6 being kept, what kind of guard do they have, that kind of thing. Evans," he said to the leader of SG-3, "take your team and go that way." He pointed to his right.

"Yes, sir." Major Evans and his team promptly headed in that direction.

"Teal'c, take point." Jack fell into place at the back of the group, with Carter immediately in front of him. There was a twinge of sadness that Daniel had chosen to be near Teal'c rather than him but Jack ignored it, knowing that he only had himself to blame.

SG-1 had walked almost up to the temple before they found where SG-6 were being held. The three surviving members were huddled together in a wooden cage. Four natives stood guard, one on each side. Quietly, Jack contacted Evans and gave him the information. Then SG-1 waited for the other team to arrive.

Daniel moved away from his team, not wanting to sit there discussing tactics; he needed to think about the cultural side of things and whether there was any other information that the others needed. The problem was that there was little solid evidence about Aztec rituals so he couldn't say for sure what the natives were likely to do. Although given the evidence so far, he thought it was a fair bet that human sacrifices were on the agenda.

When SG-3 arrived, Daniel took another step back. What was he doing here anyway? He wasn't a soldier but because the rest of his team were, the missions that they were sent on often had little to do with studying cultures and everything to do with killing people. He had only joined the team to find Sha're and then had stayed on because he had fallen in love with Jack. He had tried to ignore the fact that he was turning into a soldier but he couldn't do it anymore. It just wasn't him.

Unaware of doing it, he stepped back again, putting some distance between himself and the soldiers. This unwittingly put him within reach of the native who was hiding in the scrub behind him.

Some instinct made Jack turn around just as the native came out of cover and grabbed Daniel. Jack brought his P-90 up to aim at the native, who responded by putting a dagger to the linguist's throat. The native jabbered something in his language and pointedly pressed harder with the dagger. "What'd he say?" Jack asked, not taking his eyes off the native.

"The usual," Daniel replied, trying to keep still. He could feel the sharp edge of the dagger against his throat and he didn't want to provoke his captor. He didn't want to die this way.

The native jabbered something else, apparently starting to realise that he was very much outnumbered.

"He says to put down your weapons or he will kill me," Daniel translated. Then he tilted his head back as the native took exception to him speaking and pressed a little harder.

Jack hesitated; they clearly had the advantage over the native so tactically, surrendering was bad. But he didn't want Daniel to die either. Decision made, he slowly started to lower his gun.

In as sudden and unexpected move, the native removed the dagger from Daniel's neck and plunged it into the young man's right side. Then the native took off like a rabbit.

"Go after him," Jack ordered the others as he quickly went to Daniel, who had fallen to his knees, gasping with pain. "Daniel?"

"That wasn't... very nice," Daniel managed to get out. He clutched his side, trying to stop the bleeding.

"No, it wasn't," Jack agreed. He encouraged Daniel to lean back against a tree trunk and then examined the wound. The dagger had gone under a rib, making a fairly deep wound in the linguist's side.

"Sir." Carter indicated that he should get out of the way then she knelt down next to Daniel, first aid kit in her hands.

"I'm fine," Daniel protested as Sam ripped his clothing to get a better look. "You need to rescue SG-6."

"Not until you're okay," Jack replied, worriedly checking around him. The others should have been back by now.

Sam put a bandage over the wound as best she could, and then put another bandage around Daniel's waist to hold the first one in place. It would also put pressure on the wound to help stop the bleeding. "Colonel, we need to get Daniel back to the infirmary as soon as possible."

That was going to be a problem. They were going to need all the manpower they had to rescue SG-6 but leaving Daniel behind put him in great danger. But if Jack sent Daniel back with two or three others, it would be suicidal to take on the natives and get SG-6.

"O'Neill." Teal'c, followed by SG-3, came back into the little clearing. "He escaped us. I believe he will have headed back to the village to warn them."

"Of course he has." The sneaky approach was out then. Jack looked at Daniel, who was trying to hide the pain he was in. His heart was telling Jack to get his best friend out of there now, while his head was reminding him that he had a mission to carry out. Maybe he could do both. "Teal'c, take Daniel back to the gate. The rest of us will see if we can get to SG-6." The Jaffa would afford Daniel the most protection.

"Uh, sir," Evans spoke up. He had been watching the village and now noticed that something was happening. "Our friend is down there telling his friends all about us. And they're beginning to head this way."

"Let's move!" Jack helped Daniel to his feet and then let Teal'c take responsibility for him. "How many, Evans?"

"Twenty or so."

Not good odds at all. And with Daniel injured, there was little hope of outrunning them. However, if they split up, there might be more of a chance. "Teal'c, go! We'll cover your tracks."

Teal'c nodded and started moving with Daniel as fast as he could. He did not think this was a wise idea but it was not his call to make.

"We'll try and circle round them, take out as many as we can." Hopefully, they would then be able to get SG-6 without too many problems.

Surprisingly, that plan actually worked. They had to kill or wound many of the natives, and two members of SG-3 were injured, but they successfully got SG-6 and made it back to the gate where Teal'c and Daniel were waiting. Although weak from blood loss, Daniel managed to dial up Earth when he saw the others coming, and everyone went through safely before any more injuries could occur.

After exiting the wormhole, Daniel collapsed, frightening his teammates. He was whisked off to the infirmary, the others soon following although they had to wait for two hours before they could see him, and even then it was from a distance.

"It wasn't deep enough to hit anything vital," Janet explained to them, "but he has lost a lot of blood. I have stitched the wound but it will take several weeks to heal completely. I want to keep him here for a few days to make sure that no complications set in." This, coming so soon after the incident with the colonel, made Janet concerned about Daniel's emotional state as well, and she wanted to keep an eye on him.

Jack heard the words but they didn't sink in. He just stared at Daniel, relieved that the younger man had made it. They had almost lost him again - if the native had decided to slit Daniel's throat, then there would have been nothing Jack could have done to save him. And Jack would never have been able to forgive himself if Daniel had died. He was thankful that everything had worked out okay - fate had definitely kept them all safe today, perhaps to give him a chance to sort things out with Daniel. But he still didn't know what he was going to do. Maybe sleeping on it would help.

Janet was the only one who wasn't surprised when the colonel abruptly left the infirmary. It was clear that he still felt guilty over the sex, and add to that Daniel getting physically hurt, the colonel had a few emotions to sort through. She was also beginning to believe that he was in love with Daniel, albeit unknowingly. If it was hard for her to believe that he could love another man, how much harder would it be for him after all those years of loving women? And harder still, it seemed, for Daniel to wait for the colonel to get a clue about his feelings. Why was Daniel the one always getting hurt?

***

When Daniel returned to consciousness a couple of hours later, he could hear someone moving around near his bed. The inquiry, "Jack?" escaped his lips before he could stop it.

"Sorry, Daniel," Janet said, not missing the disappointment on his face upon hearing her voice. "How do you feel?"

"Fine." There was no conviction behind the word though. He had been hoping that at least one of his teammates would have waited by his bedside but it seemed that they had more important things to do.

"We've stitched the wound and repaired the damage but you're going to have to stay in bed for another few days," Janet informed him, resting her hand briefly on his forehead.

"Okay." It wasn't like he had anything better to do. His resignation could wait until he was released.

Janet got very worried at that; it wasn't like Daniel to accept an infirmary stay. "Daniel, I talked to Colonel O'Neill. He confirmed that he didn't--"

"You talked to Jack?!" Daniel was incredulous. "And you believed him but not me?" He was hurt by this, and thoroughly humiliated. How dare Janet talk to Jack about the weekend! How dare Jack talk to Janet about it!

Janet cursed her big mouth. Of course Daniel was going to be upset by the news. "I'm sorry, Daniel, I--"

The linguist pointedly turned his head away. He didn't want to speak to Janet any more right now.

Properly chastened, Janet left the young man in peace. She had the horrible feeling that she had just made matters worse.

***

Jack looked at the clock again - 0214 hours. Only a minute after he last looked. Time was moving too slowly, especially since he couldn't sleep. The sight of Daniel sitting against the tree, blood pouring from his side, was haunting Jack. He hated it when Daniel got injured, especially when it was his fault like in the naqadah mines or Klorel's ship. And with all that blood, Daniel's life dripping away... well, was it any wonder he was upset? It was only natural to get upset when one's best friend had almost died. It wasn't anything more.

He turned over again, cursing the makers of military beds; they were just so uncomfortable. Unlike his own bed. The bed where he and Daniel had made love...

An image of Daniel's naked body sprung into his mind before he could stop it. Those long legs, that firm body, the glistening skin - Jack got hard so fast he didn't know what had hit him. No! he told himself. It was just a biological reaction brought on by the fact that besides Saturday, he hadn't had sex in a long time. It had nothing to do with Daniel, and he certainly did not want to sleep with Daniel again. No way. It was just a... biological reaction.

Who was he kidding? Jack threw off the blankets in disgust and got up. Considering he had never been interested in a man before, it couldn't be biological. He had to face facts - seeing Daniel naked was a huge turn-on. But that didn't mean he wanted to sleep with the linguist again. Stop lying to yourself, O'Neill, he told himself as he got dressed; if you were free to do so, you'd be in Daniel's bed before you could say 'Stargate Command'. It had been damn good sex. That didn't change the fact that he wasn't in love with Daniel though.

Jack wandered aimlessly through the corridors of the SGC until he suddenly found himself outside the infirmary. His feet took him slowly inside until he was standing next to Daniel's bed. The young man's face was unguarded in sleep. After a quick glance to see whether the cameras were switched on - they weren't - Jack reached out to brush his fingers over Daniel's cheek, absently noting that the skin wasn't as smooth as it had been 48 hours ago. The linguist subconsciously leaned into the touch, startling Jack but he didn't stop touching. He wanted to give Daniel this small measure of comfort. And... it was nice.

"I'm so sorry, Daniel," Jack whispered, the apology covering a number of things. He had never wanted to hurt Daniel, and had always tried to prevent the archaeologist from being hurt, and he hadn't succeeded in either. "I wish I knew how you could love me." He could be sarcastic, bad-tempered, rude, and ignorant, not to mention that he was trained to shoot first and talk later. Daniel was almost the opposite of that so Jack... well, actually, no, he wasn't. There were plenty of times when Daniel displayed the first three traits. But the last one was a huge difference between them and Jack couldn't see how Daniel could love anyone with that mindset. Yet he loved Jack.

Sitting down next to the bed, Jack started to analyse how he felt about Daniel. They were - had been - best friends, and Jack enjoyed spending time with him. He tolerated watching documentaries if it got Daniel riled up or made him smile. He was protective - alright, overprotective - of Daniel's well-being both at home and off-world, even if he had failed spectacularly a few times. He loved making Daniel happy so that he could see that shy smile. He had been thoroughly devastated on the occasions when he thought Daniel had died. He didn't like Daniel showing an interest in other people...

Okay, that last one sounded suspiciously like jealousy. Best friends weren't supposed to get jealous; they were only supposed to dislike the other person's romantic interests. Jack definitely hadn't liked Shyla or Ke'ra because they had both tried to take advantage of Daniel when he was more vulnerable than usual. Just because he had wanted to shoot them both when they spent time with Daniel didn't mean he had been jealous. He... had just known they weren't to be trusted, that was all.

Jack watched as Daniel went to turn over and winced in pain when the movement pulled at his wound. When Daniel settled back the way he had been lying, Jack reached out and held his hand. It felt right to do that, just as it had felt right all these years to just reach out and touch him. Looking back, he realised that he had liked touching Daniel from the time they had gone back to Abydos; on the first mission, Jack hadn't exactly been himself.

You're such an idiot, Jack berated himself. The urge to sleep with Daniel hadn't come out of thin air - it had been hiding quietly in the depths of his soul until the right opportunity had come along.

The middle of the night was the best time for seeing things clearly, and now Jack saw that he loved Daniel. He was in love with Daniel, his best friend. Somewhere deep down, he had known this but he had smothered it behind friendship until Daniel had dared to kiss him. Then he had panicked on Sunday morning, a part of him very scared at the idea of loving Daniel. So he had pushed the younger man away, so far away that Daniel had been ready to resign.

Jack looked at Daniel, who was still sleeping peacefully. "I was wrong," he whispered. "I do love you, Daniel. I just hope you still love me too." Getting up, he kissed Daniel lightly on the forehead and then left the infirmary.

***

//Daniel started running towards Jack, his hand outstretched. "Please..."

"It was a mistake." Jack's voice seemed to echo all around him. "How could you think that I could love you?"

Daniel flinched away from the words. "Please don't say that!" A sharp pain appeared in his right side.

Jack drifted backwards, getting further and further away. "I don't love you, Danny."

"Please, Jack, don't let it end like this!" Daniel pleaded. "Please..."//

Another sharp pain brought Daniel out of his dream. He lay there for a couple of seconds, blinking away the moisture that had gathered in his eyes. He was going to have to move on from loving Jack; he was not going to become a basketcase over it.

He tried to turn onto his side and the pain reminded him why he was in the infirmary - one of the natives had stabbed him. Depending on how bad it was, he was looking at several days in the infirmary where Janet could keep an eye on him. Oh joy.

A frown appeared on his face when he saw a chair by his bed. That hadn't been there earlier. Had someone come to sit with him during the night? If so, it had probably been Sam because he didn't believe that Jack would have, not given the current situation. It was nice of Sam to do that.

"Doctor Jackson?"

Daniel turned his head to see Nurse Able approaching him. "What time is it?"

"Nearly 0700. How are you feeling?" she asked sympathetically. Like many of the nurses, she had a crush on the young man.

"Fine." He winced as she gently poked his side.

"Looks like the morphine has worn off. Hold on a sec." She retrieved a syringe and injected some morphine into his bicep. "That should help."

"Thanks," he replied dryly. He didn't really want more drugs making him drowsy.

"You're welcome." She smiled at him then left.

A minute later, Janet bustled into the room. Nurse Able had just informed her that Daniel was awake, so Janet wanted to check on her favourite patient. "Morning, Daniel."

"Morning," Daniel mumbled. He still hadn't forgiven her for talking to Jack about him.

Seeing this, Janet conducted her examination in silence. Daniel was recovering nicely, and his skin colour was returning to normal after losing all that blood. She told him so then asked what he wanted to eat for breakfast.

"Nothing, I'm fine," he replied, regretting it when Janet fixed him with a stern glare. "Toast?"

"I'll see what I can do."

An hour later, Daniel was lying back after eating his toast under Janet's watchful eye. He was already bored and wanted to do something but knew he wouldn't be allowed. So he was very grateful when Sam arrived not long after.

"Hey, Daniel, how are you doing?" she asked, taking a seat next to the bed.

"The usual," he replied, giving her a smile. "How are the others?"

"SG-6 are bruised but okay. Evans got an arrow in his shoulder, and Valdez has a broken wrist but they're both doing fine."

That was good news. "You're okay?"

"Much better now I know you are." She had been so worried about him. Sam took Daniel's hand in hers. "You scared us all again."

"I'm sorry." He wouldn't do it again; after all, he would never be going through the gate again.

Sam gave him a warm smile then her face turned serious again. "Daniel, why did you want to resign?"

Avoiding her eyes, he replied, "I... I just think it's time to move on."

"Why?" When she didn't get an answer, she leaned closer to him and saw moisture glistening in his eyes. "Daniel?" What was wrong?

"It's hard to explain, Sam." He tried to rein back the tears that were gathering. "Please, don't make me explain. Not yet."

"Okay." Concerned for him, she backed off for the moment. Changing the subject, she asked, "Do you want me to bring you anything?"

Daniel shot a look in the direction of Janet's office and decided to disobey her standing order about working. "My laptop would be good, please." He could write up his report on yesterday's mission.

"No problem." She squeezed his hand and then let go. "Take it easy, okay?"

"Okay." He would because he wanted to get out of the infirmary as soon as possible and leave the SGC forever.

***

A while later, Jack stood outside the infirmary, trying to get up the courage to go in. In light of last night's revelation, he was actually feeling nervous about seeing Daniel, knowing that the younger man possibly hated him now. If he went in there, they were just going to start arguing and that wasn't going to help matters at all.

He could hear Teal'c inside the room, talking to Daniel about the mission. Well, Daniel was doing most of the talking and Teal'c contributed a few words every once in a while. Jack decided that he didn't want to interrupt so he started to turn away.

"Why do you want to resign, DanielJackson?" Teal'c asked, stopping Jack in his tracks.

"It's... hard to explain," Daniel replied. "I just... I don't think I can go through the gate anymore."

Jack moved closer to the doorway so that he could hear everything.

"We need you," Teal'c stated.

Jack agreed with that wholeheartedly; how many times had Daniel got the team out of trouble? And from a more personal viewpoint, Daniel made him think and feel instead of just blindly following orders.

"No, you don't," Daniel disagreed. "There are other people who can do what I do."

Yeah, right, Jack thought. No-one on Earth even came close to his level of genius.

"There are not. You are special, DanielJackson."

Silence. Jack poked his head around the door to see Teal'c resting a hand on Daniel's shoulder, the linguist looking at the Jaffa with wide eyes. Back off, Teal'c, he's mine! Jack thought, then froze as two pairs of eyes focused on him. Oh god, had he said that out loud? "Hey," he said casually, sauntering into the room.

"O'Neill." Teal'c inclined his head in greeting. He had not missed the jealous look in the warrior's eyes, or the sorrow in the scholar's. It would seem that he had found the reason for DanielJackson's resignation.

"Jack, what are you doing here?" Daniel wanted to know. He hadn't been expecting a visit from the colonel at all.

"I just came to see how you were." He stopped at the end of the bed.

"Considering I was stabbed, I'm fine." Even tired, Jack looked sexy, and Daniel had to push back the desire the sight stirred within him.

"Glad to hear it." Jack nodded at the laptop. "I thought you weren't supposed to be working."

"Don't worry, Colonel, I'm not overdoing it."

Jack flinched at the use of his title. Yep, Daniel was definitely still mad at him.

Teal'c placed his hand on the scholar's shoulder again, well aware of O'Neill's jealous glare. "I will return later, DanielJackson. You will rest."

Daniel nodded, although carrying out that order would be easier said than done.

Jack waited until Teal'c had left before saying anything else. He forced down the jealousy and anger at Teal'c's knowing look, and said calmly, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Daniel crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Jack.

"For what I said on Sunday. I was wrong." He dug his hands into his pockets and shuffled his feet; he wasn't good at this apology stuff.

A small glimmer of hope appeared in Daniel's heart but he ruthlessly squashed it. There was no point in getting his hopes up.

"And I want to fix it."

"You can't fix this!" Daniel shot back. There wasn't anything Jack could do to make everything alright again. Not this time. Even if Jack professed his love now, Daniel would always be suspicious of why he had changed his mind.

"Why not?" Jack stepped around the bed and closer to Daniel so that their voices didn't carry too far.

"You betrayed my trust, Jack, and I can't forgive you for that," Daniel whispered, sadness evident in his voice.

"Well, you weren't exactly saying 'no'," Jack retaliated. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he wished he could take them back because of the hurt expression that crossed Daniel's face.

"Get out," Daniel stated, averting his eyes to stare at the wall. He didn't want to be reminded of his own weakness. He knew he could have prevented what had happened and was angry with himself that he hadn't.

"Just one thing - you don't have to resign. I will." He would go straight up to Hammond after this.

Daniel's head shot up. "Why?"

"The team needs you more than it needs me. Besides, this is all my fault. If anyone has to leave, it should be me."

"I'm a grown man, Jack, I make my own choices. I chose to... you know... so it's my fault too."

"But if I hadn't hurt you, then you wouldn't want to leave. That part is my fault." Jack reached out and brushed his hand over Daniel's cheek. "Just stay out of trouble." He turned and walked out of the room.

Daniel stared after him with wide eyes. The gesture had been so tender, almost loving. And the fact that Jack wanted to resign so that he didn't have to...that was nice too. Wait, what reason was Jack going to give the general for resigning? Would he actually tell the truth? He couldn't let Jack do that; it would ruin his career. "Jack!" he yelled.

Instead of Jack, however, he got Janet. "What's wrong, Daniel?"

"Janet, Jack's going to resign, you have to stop him." He didn't want to be the reason Jack left - well, not under these circumstances anyway.

She didn't waste any time asking why. Janet quickly caught up with O'Neill before he reached the elevator. "Sir!"

"What?" He wasn't in the mood to talk to her about Daniel.

"Daniel doesn't want you to resign," she told him bluntly.

"Why?"

"I don't know. Why don't you ask him?"

Jack sighed and leaned back against the wall. "I've just talked to him and that didn't go down well."

"You obviously weren't saying the right things then. Sir," she added as an afterthought.

"Obviously." How was he supposed to know what to say - he had never been in this situation before!

Janet gently took his arm and guided him back to her office. Once they were safely inside, she had a long talk with him.

***

After Janet talked O'Neill out of resigning immediately, she did the same to Daniel. That accomplished, she kept them apart for the remainder of the linguist's infirmary stay, although she didn't know that Jack snuck in every night. After three days, she ordered Daniel to go and recuperate with Jack.

"No," Daniel refused flatly. He did not want Jack to look after him. The fact that Jack hadn't been to see him in two days spoke volumes to Daniel about their relationship, or what was left of it.

"Daniel, he wants to look after you," Janet argued.

"I'm fine. I don't need anyone to look after me." Especially someone who would remind him of that mistake just by his presence.

"As your doctor, I disagree. And... you need to talk." Although the colonel had never said it, Janet believed he'd had a change of heart. So she was sending them both to Daniel's apartment in the hopes that things could be sorted out.

"No, we don't." Jack had made his feelings perfectly clear the other day. He glared stubbornly back at Janet, hating that she was doing this to him. Didn't she realise how much Jack had hurt him? And how hard that was to forgive? Then he switched his glare to Jack, who had just arrived.

"He's all yours, Colonel," Janet said, deciding the men could sort it out themselves. She left the infirmary.

Jack took one look at the annoyed young man and ruefully mused that he must love Daniel a lot to even be attempting this. "Let's go, Dannyboy."

Daniel shook his head. He would rather stay in the infirmary.

"What, you're turning down the chance to have me as your own personal slave for the next few days, not to mention an all-expenses paid ride to the surface?" There was a wheelchair next to the bed so that too much walking didn't aggravate the wound.

"Yes."

"Refusing Fraiser's orders isn't a bright idea, Daniel."

"You should know." Jack was an equally bad patient as he, and had been in trouble with Janet many times.

"Exactly. Now, get into the chair so we can go home." Jack stepped closer so he could help Daniel.

"Stay away from me, Jack." Daniel didn't want the older man touching him because that would only create feelings that he didn't want to ignore.

"Fine." Jack backed off, his hands held high. "But you have exactly ten seconds to get into the chair before I get Teal'c to put you in it."

Looking at Jack's face, Daniel knew that the colonel would do exactly that. Moving very slowly, he stood up then lowered himself into the chair. The movement pulled at the stitches in his side and he bit back a hiss of pain.

"Easy," Jack instructed as he instinctively went to help Daniel. Realising what he was doing, he put his hands behind his back and let Daniel get settled. "Ready?"

"No." But that apparently didn't matter to either Jack or Janet, considering what his orders were. He really didn't want to go home with Jack at all.

"Sweet."

Daniel sulked - although he wouldn't have used that term - all the way home. The only time he spoke was when Jack pulled up at the linguist's apartment block. "Why are we here?" He had assumed they would be going to Jack's house.

"I thought you'd be more comfortable here." And there was nowhere for Daniel to run to when things got tough. Jack got out of the car and went around to assist Daniel. He ignored the hands that tried to push him away and gently helped Daniel to his feet. Then he kept one hand on Daniel's back all the way up to the apartment.

Daniel didn't understand why Jack was being so nice but his body definitely liked it. As soon as they were in the door, Daniel tried to move away from Jack, saying, "Don't touch me!"

Jack removed his hands but didn't say anything. He accompanied Daniel into the bedroom and waited patiently for the linguist to lie down.

"Why are you here, Jack?" Daniel demanded to know. "Why do you want to help me?"

"That's not the kind of question you're supposed to ask," Jack avoided answering. He pulled back the covers. "Anything you want?"

You, Daniel thought instantly. But he was never going to get that. "No, I'm fine."

Jack didn't comment on that. His eyes focused on the bed, the covers thrown back wantonly, and his thoughts immediately showed him pictures of the two of them, naked. To cover his sudden arousal, he went over to the chest of drawers to find suitable sleeping apparel.

"What are you doing?" Daniel asked suspiciously.

Locating some blue flannel pyjamas with pyramids on them, Jack pulled them out and handed them to Daniel. "You can't sleep in those," he indicated the clothes that Daniel was currently wearing.

"You're not helping me get changed," Daniel immediately stated. He was not getting naked with Jack there. Those long roughened fingers gliding over his bare skin - not a good thing.

"I know. Give me a yell if you need a hand." Jack left the room and closed the door behind him.

Daniel waited until he was sure Jack was gone before starting to undress. Thankfully his shirt had buttons so it was easy to take off. His trousers slid down his legs and he stepped out of them, leaving them on the floor. The top part of his pyjamas were easy to put on but the bottom half... There was no way he would be able to get them on without bending over, and he had been instructed by Janet to avoid that as much as possible for the next few days. So his options were to call Jack in for help - yeah, right - or not to put them on at all. He would be okay in his briefs - who would know?

There was a knock on the door. "Daniel, you okay?"

"I'm fine," Daniel called back. Then he held the pyjamas up in front of him as the door opened. "Jack!"

Studiously looking at the floor, Jack came into the room. "What?"

"I'm not... dressed."

Jack swallowed hard. "Oh. Sorry." He made no move to leave though. He kept his eyes averted - a difficult task considering he was longing to look at the bare skin.

Daniel went into the bathroom when he realised that Jack wasn't going to leave. How could Janet have sent him home with Jack, knowing that Daniel didn't want to be near him now! Daniel took his briefs off, sat down on the toilet seat, held the pyjamas out in front of him, and slowly put his legs into them. Then he stood and pulled the bottoms up. There, that had worked. He did a couple of other things while he was in the bathroom then headed back into the bedroom where Jack was waiting.

Jack was pleased - and disappointed - to see that Daniel had successfully changed into his pyjamas. The flannel looked good on him too, Jack noted, desire rising again at the sight. He patted the bed, indicating that Daniel should lie down.

"I can do this by myself," Daniel protested, crossing his arms over his chest.

Jack had a sudden vision of Charlie doing the same thing when he got too old for the tucking-in thing. It didn't help that Daniel looked so cute in his pyjamas. He grinned.

"What?" For a second, Daniel forgot that he was mad at Jack. The grin made his heart flip-flop; Jack was so attractive.

"Sorry, it's the jammies," Jack explained, still grinning. "You look about eight."

"I do not!" Eight? That was just insulting! The pyjamas were a gift from Sam a couple of years ago, and although he had thought he was too old for them, they had soon become his favourite winter nightwear.

"No, you're right. Six, maybe," Jack provoked.

Daniel's eyes widened, unaware that it added to the overall effect. Six?! Then he realised that Jack was trying to distract him. And it had worked; how well Jack knew him. Daniel dropped his head, embarrassed at how easily Jack could distract him.

"Danny." Jack waited until the younger man looked up before continuing softly. "I know you have every reason to be angry with me. But we can still be friends." Even though he no longer wanted to settle for that. "We're good together."

In every way, Daniel thought. They did make a good team.

"I panicked on Sunday. I hadn't thought about - that - and it freaked me out. And I hurt you because of it."

"Jack, I don't want to talk about this right now." He couldn't deal with this now. "Please, just let me go to bed, okay?"

"Okay." Jack acquiesced for the moment. He went through to the bathroom, completed his ablutions, then went back through the bedroom. "Goodnight," he said as he left the room. Daniel's softly spoken, "Goodnight," barely reached his ears. Smiling - he had made a little progress with the younger man - Jack got the couch bed out and settled in for the night.

In the bedroom, Daniel carefully got himself comfortable in bed. He put his glasses on the bedside table and then switched off the lamp. He settled himself on his back and started thinking about Jack's words. There had been something in the older man's voice that hinted at more than what he had said but Daniel couldn't figure it out. He didn't want to figure it out; there was no use in getting his hopes up because things weren't going to change. Jack would only ever be his friend, never his lover. Jack might be sorry about the weekend and for hurting him but that didn't mean the older man loved him. It was more likely that Jack was just making an effort to be a friend.

With that unhappy thought, Daniel closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep. But it was a long time before he did.

***

When Daniel wandered slowly out of his bedroom the next morning, he was surprised to see Janet sitting at the table, talking to Jack. He started to turn around but he was spotted.

"Daniel!" Janet was up out of her seat and over to him in a second. She squashed the unprofessional thought that he looked adorable in the jammies and focused on her patient's face. Daniel didn't look like he'd had a good night's sleep. "How do you feel?"

"Fine." Daniel glanced at Jack and saw the older man grinning at him. Then his insistent doctor gently herded him back into the bedroom. "Janet!"

"I need to look at the stitches, Daniel," Janet told him firmly. She lifted up his top and the bandage, and examined her handiwork. "You haven't pulled any stitches out," she informed him.

"I told you I was fine," Daniel stated, moving away and pulling his top down. "Despite the fact that Jack is here."

"Haven't you talked to him yet?"

"There's nothing to talk about." Just because he had agreed not to resign and currently had Jack as a house-guest, it didn't mean that he was over what had happened. He wrapped his arms around his chest; he wished that Janet wouldn't interfere in this. Only time was going to heal the wound to his heart.

Janet mentally shook her head; Daniel had to be the most stubborn person she knew. "Yes, there is. Now, come and have some breakfast."

Daniel followed her out; he could tell that this was going to be a long day.

***

After breakfast, Daniel voluntarily took himself back to bed. He wasn't happy with either of his current companions, so the best thing to do was stay out of their way.

"He's not a happy camper," Janet commented after the bedroom door was pointedly closed.

"Can you blame him?" Jack cleared away the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. "He can't do anything while he is recovering and he's stuck here with me, the person he hates most at the moment."

"You know Daniel can't stay mad at you for long," Janet stated.

"It's been nearly a week," Jack pointed out, "and there's been no sign of a thaw. Every time I try to get us back to normal, he realises what I'm doing and freezes up." He sat down again and rubbed his eyes wearily. "I really screwed up this time."

Janet couldn't disagree with that. "I don't think Daniel wants you to stop trying, at least, not consciously. You know how stubborn he is - if he really hadn't wanted to, he wouldn't have let you take him home."

Jack thought about that for a few seconds. That was true - it was near impossible to get Daniel to do something he really didn't want to do. "So you reckon I should keep trying?"

"Yes." Most definitely. "Daniel's going to be laid up for another few days. Use that time wisely. Woo him."

"Excuse me?" Jack could not believe that she had just said that.

"Jack," Janet used his first name to show that this discussion was completely off-the-record. "If you weren't in love with him, you wouldn't be this worried about him. So tell him that."

"I've tried. You know me - I couldn't get the words right." That and he was afraid of Daniel rejecting him.

"Then get the words right. Don't let him get away." Janet then changed tactics. "You do realise what Sam and Teal'c will do to you if they find out you were the reason Daniel wanted to resign, don't you?"

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

Jack looked at the steely brown eyes and resigned himself to the fact that he was going to have to win Daniel back somehow. "You sure you're not related to Napoleon?"

Janet just smiled. She knew she had won the argument when the colonel resorted to calling her 'Napoleon'. "I'd better be on my way. Make sure he stays in bed and doesn't do anything that will aggravate the wound."

"No problem."

Leaning against the door in his bedroom, Daniel had heard every word; voices tended to carry in his apartment. His mind was whirling with everything he had overheard, especially the bit about Jack being in love with him. That wasn't possible - Jack had decried that possibility less than a week ago. He couldn't have changed his mind in that short a time.

Confused, he went over to the bed and carefully lay down. The truth of the matter was, he didn't want to believe that Jack loved him because that would just set himself up for more hurt. Yet Janet obviously believed it, otherwise she wouldn't be encouraging Jack... would she? Daniel didn't know anymore - his judgement was clouded by too many emotions.

A knock on the door sounded. "Daniel, can I use the bathroom?" Jack called through the door.

"Sure," Daniel called back. He pulled the covers up as Jack entered the room, unaware of how vulnerable it made him look.

Jack forced his feet to go towards the bathroom and not towards the bed. It was amazing how a man of Daniel's age and build could look so young and fragile just lying there. When he walked back out, Daniel hadn't moved and Jack gave in to temptation by sitting on the edge of the bed. "Hey."

Daniel didn't say anything, just eyed Jack's proximity to him. Under other circumstances, he would love to have Jack sitting there but given the current situation, Daniel just wanted him to go away.

"Listen, I'm going to head out for about half an hour and pick up some groceries. Anything in particular that you want?"

"No." Daniel couldn't even remember what food he had in the house. He flinched when Jack patted his knee, even though it was protected by the cover.

"Okay then." Jack didn't miss the flinch and felt guilty all over again but he didn't move away. Instead, he let his hand rest on the younger man's knee. "Do you need anything before I go? Something to read? Your laptop?"

Daniel shook his head. What he did want was his journal but he wasn't about to ask Jack to get that.

"Okay," Jack repeated. He patted Daniel's knee one last time then stood up. "Be good while I'm gone."

Daniel waited until he was sure Jack had left the apartment before getting up. Moving very slowly, he went to his study and retrieved his journal, then took it back to the bedroom. Throwing it on the bed, he continued on to his closet to get a pair of sweats. Then he got a t-shirt from the chest of drawers and very carefully got changed. He really wanted a shower but had been told by Janet to avoid getting his bandage wet so he settled for just washing his face.

By the time he had done all that, he was feeling exhausted. He headed back to bed only to realise that he didn't have a pen to write with. Deciding to get it now rather than later, he went out of the bedroom to find one.

Jack arrived back just as Daniel reached the dining room table. He quickly assessed the scene - Daniel had changed and was out of bed - and said, "I told you to stay in bed."

"I need a pen," Daniel told him while he kept looking.

Deciding it wasn't worth arguing about, Jack put the groceries down and then picked Daniel up in his arms. "Bed."

Daniel knew he shouldn't struggle so he had to settle for glaring at the older man. "Jack, put me down!"

"Sure thing." Jack carried him into the bedroom and carefully deposited him on the bed. "Stay."

"No." Despite the fact that his pulse was racing and he was semi-hard, Daniel glared at the older man. Jack's Alpha Male routine had turned him on and he was angry with himself for reacting that way. "You have no right to order me around."

"You're under my care while you're recovering, that gives me every right," Jack replied, matching Daniel's glare with one of his own. Holding Daniel close had made him hard, and he fought the urge to hide it.

"I'm not stupid, Jack. I'm not going to overdo things." Daniel's gaze dropped away briefly and he noticed a slight bulge in Jack's jeans. Was... was Jack turned on by his proximity too?

"Daniel, you were looking for a pen. Why didn't you just ask me to get one for you?"

"I didn't know I needed it then," Daniel lied, evading the other man's eyes.

Jack knew what that evasion meant. "I'm here to help you, Daniel. Take advantage of that while you can," he added dryly.

"I don't need help."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't," Daniel continued to argue. "Not from you."

All the fight left Jack. He had forgotten for a moment that Daniel hated him. "Maybe you're right." He turned away and headed for the door.

"Jack?" Daniel was confused by Jack's sudden acquiescence.

"Maybe I'm the last person you should be around," Jack said sadly before he left the room.

"Jack!" Daniel swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "Ouch! Jack, get back here!" When the other man didn't appear, Daniel stood up and went as quickly as he could out of the room. "Janet is not going to be happy that you got me out..." He trailed off as he saw the door to his apartment close. "Jack!"

It was hard for Jack not to go back to Daniel when he heard the linguist calling but he didn't. Daniel obviously didn't want him there so he would get Carter to come over and look after him. Then Daniel wouldn't be so upset.

A noise from behind him caused him to turn around. He saw Daniel coming down the corridor, holding his side. "Daniel, get back in bed now!"

"Make me," Daniel stated argumentatively.

"I'm not kidding."

"Neither am I." Daniel closed the gap. "Why are you doing all this?"

Jack hesitated for a second then decided on the truth. "Because I love you."

Daniel shook his head. "No, you don't. You told me that on Sunday."

"I've already told you, I was wrong. Making love with you turned my world upside down," he said in a low voice, "but I didn't realise why until you were stabbed."

"It was you." Daniel joined the dots. "You came to visit during the first night."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I needed to sort things out in my head." Jack gently took Daniel's arm and started leading him back to the apartment. "You need to get back to bed." He didn't like how pale Daniel looked.

Daniel let himself be led back to the bedroom. As soon as he lay down, he picked up the conversation again. "You said it was a mistake to sleep with me."

"At the time, I thought it was. I had never done anything like that before and I freaked." Jack sat down on the bed too but kept his hands to himself.

"I should have said how I felt so you could have freaked out before we got to the physical part," Daniel said dryly.

"Probably," Jack admitted. "We jumped way ahead to something neither of us were ready for."

Daniel looked away, a blush creeping over his face. No, neither of them had been ready for the ramifications of actual sexual intercourse.

"It was wonderful, Danny, and I'd like to try it again someday," Jack said as he reached out to stroke Daniel's left leg. "But not until you're ready."

"I never said I wanted to do it again," Daniel pointed out, trying to ignore the stroking. He did want to do it again but not until he was one hundred percent sure that it wasn't just sex for Jack.

Jack was immediately concerned. "Did I hurt you?" He remembered the wince as Daniel had sat on Sunday morning.

"A little."

"I'm sorry."

Daniel could see the genuine apology in Jack's eyes. "It's okay. I had expected it." And it hadn't lasted for too long.

"Next time will be better, I promise. If... if you'll let me." Jack wasn't going to take anything for granted.

Biting his lower lip, Daniel looked up at the older man. The man he loved. "I don't just want to sleep with you, Jack. I want a relationship. I had hoped that last weekend you were prepared to give me that."

"And then I tore out your heart and stomped on it. Not one of my finer moments."

"No, it wasn't," Daniel agreed, although his eyes shot daggers at Jack for the less than tactful words. "I thought you had used me and I couldn't believe that you would do that to me. And then Janet thought you had raped me."

"Yeah, she was ready to tear me limb from limb over that." That was another thing Jack felt guilty about, the fact that Frasier had subjected Daniel to all that scrutiny. "We did everything all wrong, especially me. Can we start over?"

"You mean, date?"

"Yeah. What do you say?" Jack waited anxiously for a response.

Daniel looked into Jack's eyes and thought he saw love there. Deciding to trust his instincts, he agreed.

***

Six weeks later, Daniel was declared medically fit to return to full duties. That night, he took Jack to his apartment and led him into the bedroom.

"Uh, Danny, whatcha doing?" Jack asked as the younger man started to strip.

"What do you think? Janet said I was fully recovered." Daniel threw his shirt onto the floor.

"Daniel." Jack caught the younger man's hands. "You don't have to do this now." As much as Jack wanted to make love, he didn't want to rush into it again.

Embarrassed, Daniel tried to move away but Jack wouldn't let him.

Jack slid his hands up the bare arms and neck until they cupped Daniel's face. "Don't rush this on my account."

"What if I want to?" While they had been dating for the last six weeks, the main thing Daniel had thought about was making love with Jack. He wanted to experience it again and then show Jack just how good it was. At the sudden hardness against his hip, he had to laugh. "I think you're outvoted."

"It's my sidearm, I swear." Jack kissed Daniel thoroughly, and when they drew apart to breathe, the linguist was equally as hard.

Daniel retaliated by sliding his hands around Jack's waist to his back, then underneath the trousers, making Jack jump. Tilting his head to the side, Daniel observed, "You're nervous, aren't you?"

"No," Jack lied. He just didn't want to hurt Daniel again.

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"Alright, I am," Jack stated, knowing that the argument could go on forever. "Why aren't you nervous?"

"I don't know." Daniel knew that he should be after what had happened last time but he wasn't.

"Well, get nervous," Jack demanded. "I don't want to be the only one."

"Doesn't that defeat the purpose if we're both nervous?" Daniel asked, a playful smile on his face.

Jack sighed. "I hate it when you're logical."

Daniel's smile grew bigger. "Come with me." He headed off towards the bathroom, then turned and beckoned to Jack.

Silently, Jack followed Daniel into the bathroom. By the time he got there, Daniel was naked and about to turn the shower on. After an appreciative study of the well-built body in front of him, Jack commented, "Somehow I thought you'd be the shy, retiring type when it came to sex."

"Why?" Daniel asked with a smile.

"Don't know. Just did." Jack proceeded to get undressed then joined Daniel in the spacious shower. "You're absolutely sure about this?" he asked as he pulled Daniel to him, and there was a lot of pleasurable clashing at groin height.

"I've had a lot of time to think about it," Daniel stated before he pulled Jack under the spray and kissed him. As tongues clashed, they breathed for each other for as long as they could. When they moved out of the spray, Daniel said, "Convinced?"

"Oh yeah." Jack reckoned that made the top three of the most erotic experiences he had been involved in. He had been worried that Daniel would decide that he couldn't trust Jack, even after all the dating. But Daniel had once again proved that he had a very generous soul, able to forgive Jack anything - eventually. Even after all the pain Jack had caused, Daniel still loved him. And Jack loved him. He looked back at himself seven weeks ago and wondered how he could have been such an idiot.

"What are you thinking about?" Daniel wanted to know when he saw Jack's attention go inward for a moment.

"That I was a fool not to recognise earlier that I was in love with you." Jack looked steadily into the clear blue eyes that were framed with wet, spiky lashes, and his desire kicked into overdrive. He kissed Daniel again, never wanting to surface.

Daniel's lips curved into a smile as he kissed Jack back. Seven weeks ago after Jack's rejection, life had seemed so bleak. Now things had changed completely around and he was confident that Jack's love was forever. He couldn't say how he knew; he just did. Jack would not hurt him like that again. "Love you, Jack."

"Love you too, Spacemonkey."

Now if only he could get Jack to stop calling him that, everything would be perfect. Well, close enough anyway.