Shatter Point

by Sistine

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/ass/sistine/shatterp.php
Summary: In the wake of Janet's death, Sam's actions get called into question. This leads to some shock revelations, especially concerning two of her teammates
Info: This was a challenge by lyn (#522, May 2006). I finally got around to finishing it, so I hope it meets with her approval!

It was by chance that Jack knew exactly where to find Daniel. He had been searching the SGC for his friend so that they could both attend the briefing and had found the filmmaker, Bregman, instead. Jack hadn't wanted to stop and talk but Bregman had mentioned that Daniel had given him the video camera which had captured Janet's death. Feeling like an idiot, Jack realised that Daniel would be hurting more than anyone had thought, and he had asked if Bregman knew where the linguist was. Bregman had said that Daniel was in one of the isolation rooms and instantly, Jack wondered why he hadn't thought of that. Of course that was where Daniel would go having recovered, several months ago, the memories of his own death. That was where Jack was headed now, determined to give his friend comfort.

Between being injured himself and giving Carter comfort, Jack hated to admit it but he had neglected Daniel. After the euphoria of having the younger man returned to them had worn off, Jack had fallen back into his old habit of giving Daniel space without even realising it. The first thing he should have done after being released from the infirmary was find Daniel and just be there for him but no, he hadn't done that. Instead, he had given in to Carter's grief and comforted her, no doubt adding to the rumour mill that there was more to their relationship than just friendship. Okay, he was flattered that someone like Carter was interested in him but that was as far as it went, and soon he was going to have to make sure that his 2IC realised that too.

Jack stopped at the doorway of the isolation room and looked inside but couldn't see anyone. He was about to turn away when a soft sound drew his attention. Peering into the dark corner opposite where he was standing, he caught a glimpse of pale skin that most likely belonged to his linguist so he crossed over to the corner and, ignoring his aching knees, crouched down in front of Daniel. "Hey," he said softly.

"I'm fine," Daniel responded pre-emptively, not wanting to talk to anyone. His knees were drawn up to his chest, his arms tightly hugging them, and his head was resting on them, making himself as small as possible.

"Of course you are," Jack stated, almost managing to suppress the sarcasm in his voice. It helped that his heart ached at seeing Daniel so vulnerable and upset. "I'm sorry it took me so long."

That statement surprised Daniel and he lifted his head, revealing red-rimmed eyes. "What?" He didn't know what Jack meant.

"I should have come to see you straight away," Jack elaborated, shifting awkwardly to relieve the pressure on his knees. "You shouldn't have had to go through that alone." He should have been there; that's what best friends did for each other.

Hating that Jack thought him so fragile that he couldn't cope with Janet's death alone, Daniel glared at him. "I'm fine," he repeated. He ignored the fact that it had hurt that none of his friends had come to see if he was alright afterwards, something which had prompted his decision not to search them out. They hadn't been the ones who had seen the staff weapon take her life...

"Daniel, if you were fine, you wouldn't be in here hiding from the rest of the SGC," Jack pointed out, putting a hand on the younger man's shoulder, sympathising with his pain. "Things have been a little crazy around the base but I'm here now."

"I don't need your sympathy, Jack," Daniel said spitefully, well aware of where his supposed friend had been. "So you can go back to Sam; I'm sure she'll be happy to see you." He didn't know why he was jealous of Jack preferring to comfort Sam instead of him but he was determined not to show how much it had hurt when the older man hadn't come to see him. It had been petty of him not to visit Jack in the infirmary, he realised that now, but at the time he had wanted his friend to hurt as much as he did.

"Maybe, but right now the person I want to be with is you," Jack stated. "So none of that 'I'm fine' crap if you don't mind."

"Jack--" Daniel started to protest but was cut off.

"Ah!" Jack held up one finger. "Now, we have a debriefing in five minutes and then we're going to go to my place and get smashed." He knew that if he got Daniel to have at least one beer, talking about what had happened would be so much easier.

Daniel glared at Jack again but there was no real strength behind it. "Fine." Maybe if he got drunk enough, he could forget for one evening that he hadn't been able to save a very close friend. Again.

"Good." Jack helped Daniel to stand, ignoring the red-rimmed eyes and the heat from the linguist's skin. "We'll get through this," he promised his friend.

Daniel didn't respond to that because he couldn't see past his grief and guilt yet. If he had been more vigilant, if he hadn't been video-taping Airman Simon Wells, if he'd had a hand free, then Janet might not be dead and he wouldn't have another name on his list of loves and friends lost. That thought haunted him all the way up to the briefing room.

General Hammond was seated at the head of the table when the other two members of SG-1 entered the room. Major Samantha Carter was already sitting to his left, eyes slightly puffy from crying, with Teal'c next to her, an impassive look on his face. Only those who knew Teal'c well were able to see the grief in his expression.

They had all lost a dear friend.

Hammond could see that Daniel had been crying too, although the linguist was doing his best to hide that fact by keeping his head down. The general had tried to talk to Daniel after the incident but the young man insisted that he was fine and that he needed to get back to work. Backing down, Hammond had let Daniel go, knowing that Jack would take care of the young man; however, he had expected that his 2IC would have caught up with the linguist much earlier instead of being with Major Carter. Something told him he would have to have a chat with Jack about this growing inappropriate relationship soon.

Jack guided Daniel to the seat opposite Teal'c and then sat down in the chair next to him. He could see how much effort Daniel was putting into acting with some semblance of normality - he was doing much the same thing himself - and hoped that the briefing wouldn't take too long. There were several other SG personnel in the room seated further down the table, as if they had purposely left SG-1 space near Hammond. Not that Jack minded but he wanted to get Daniel home before something happened to shatter his fragile friend. A stray thought crossed his mind that he wanted to enfold Daniel in his arms for the next few hours but he pushed it away, needing to deal with the rescue mission that had gone so tragically wrong.

Daniel just sat there, not really listening to any of the briefing although he was acutely aware of Jack's presence. And Jack's hand, he realised partway through, becoming aware of the discreet warmth on his thigh. It was nice; it showed that Jack cared and was with him despite his earlier absence. He didn't think anything more of it, knowing that Jack preferred to doing his talking through touch rather than the usual verbalisation, but when he could, he surreptitiously dropped one of his hands below the table and briefly squeezed Jack's, thanking him for the comfort.

Almost immediately after, something that one of SG-13 mentioned caught his attention. He knew Jack had heard it too by the way the older man stiffened in his chair. "What?" they said in unison, wanting clarification for the tremendous breach of protocol that they had just heard.

Regretting mentioning it at all, especially with the object of discussion in the room, Colonel Dixon restated, "When Colonel O'Neill was hit, Major Carter immediately went to check on him."

Jack's eyes narrowed; Carter's crush had officially gone too far. He turned his attention to his 2IC, not at all happy. "You abandoned your position?"

Sam coloured at the disapproval and lowered her eyes to the table. "Yes, sir."

"Despite the fact that there were Jaffa everywhere and every person was needed to fire on them, and I had taken an apparently fatal hit?" Jack persisted. He didn't care what Carter felt for him; in the situation they had been in, abandoning one's post to check on a possibly-dead person was unacceptable. He shared a look with Hammond, in which he saw that the general would be dealing with the breach of protocol severely.

"Yes, sir." Sam wasn't about to apologise for doing so but it had just been instinct at the time. When she had seen that staff blast hit Jack, she felt as though her heart had been torn out, so she had naturally gone to his side to see whether there was any chance he was still alive.

Jack was about to express his displeasure at that course of action when Daniel beat him to it. The linguist's blue eyes had turned icy cold, his guilt temporarily giving way to anger at Sam. "What did you do that for?"

"The colonel was injured..." Sam began to say.

"Even I know that in the middle of a battle, you don't go charging out to tend to the wounded, especially if you're pinned down by the enemy," Daniel stated, his voice as cold as his eyes. "You should have stayed where you were, then Janet might still be alive."

Sam's eyes narrowed to equal Daniel's as the accusation hit home. "It wasn't my fault Janet was hit."

"How do you know? If you had stayed where you were, that Jaffa might not have got through to our position," Daniel continued relentlessly, unaware of all the eyes on him except for Sam's.

"And if you hadn't been video-taping Airman Wells, you might have seen the Jaffa," Sam shot back, unwilling to take the blame for Janet's death and refusing to believe that she had been wrong.

Since that was nothing that Daniel hadn't already thought of, he ignored the barb and fired back, "Well, if you had been doing your job, it wouldn't have mattered, would it?"

"That's rich coming from someone who considers an order to be a suggestion," Sam argued, wanting to hit out at someone for Janet's senseless death. "You break the rules regularly and get away with it so what would one more time matter--"

"That's enough!" Hammond decided to intervene before things went too far. He understood that everyone was hurting and that words could easily be said that would be later regretted. "We'll discuss whether Major Carter's actions were appropriate at a later time. Right now, let's get back on topic."

Daniel leaned back in his chair and seethed silently throughout the rest of the briefing. He couldn't believe what Sam had said; was that how she really felt about him? As someone who constantly broke rules and never faced the consequences? If it was, she didn't really know him at all. He was always facing the consequences of his actions, especially if he broke rules such as not getting out of the line of fire, or intervening on the side of humans and getting kicked out of Ascension.

When the briefing was finished, Hammond dismissed the other teams but called SG-1 into his office where they could argue more privately. He noticed that Daniel and Carter stood on opposite sides of the room, with Jack on the linguist's side and Teal'c remaining neutral in the middle. This didn't look good.

Just as Hammond was thinking about how to start, Jack jumped in first. "Carter, what on earth possessed you to abandon your post?"

Sam resolutely stuck to her guns, despite the disapproval of everyone surrounding her. "You had been shot."

"So? Other people were injured too. Did you run over and check on them too?" Jack questioned harshly, trying to get her to see that her actions had been wrong.

"No. None of them were close by," Sam defended herself.

"Okay, I'll put it another way. If they had been nearby, would you have gone to check on them?" Jack continued relentlessly; he wasn't going to give Carter an inch on this.

Sam hesitated and then looked down at the floor. No, she wouldn't have left her position had it been anyone else, except maybe Daniel or Teal'c. Or, since Daniel wasn't happy with her at the moment, maybe just Teal'c.

Asked and answered, Jack thought, turning to Hammond. He could see that the general was equally as unhappy with Carter's actions as he was, and Hammond was no fool; he would know exactly what Carter's motivation had been. In fact, half the base probably knows, Jack thought; he hadn't exactly hidden his own attraction either. But that was as far as it could ever go.

"You let your feelings for Jack override the safety of everyone else on the planet?" Daniel said incredulously, well on the way to becoming angry again.

"Don't take that tone with me, Daniel," Sam shot back, her own ire rising. "You always let your feelings override everything regardless of the consequences."

"That's different, Carter," Jack cut in, wanting to defend his friend. "Daniel's a civilian."

"On a front-line combat team," Sam pointed out. "He should have to pull his weight as much as the rest of us." Years of suppressed resentment at the special treatment Daniel got from Jack started to bubble to the surface.

"He does pull his weight," Jack countered hotly, annoyed at the implication that Daniel gave less than one hundred percent on missions and that Jack would let him get away with that. "In fact, he more than pulls his weight because he does two jobs at once whereas we usually only do one. Daniel's had to learn how to be a soldier but have any of us learnt how to be a linguist? Or an archaeologist? I don't think so."

Daniel had ducked his head in mild embarrassment at hearing Jack's praise but then he lifted it again at the last part. Jack might have been aiming to criticise Sam but he had successfully criticised himself as well.

"We haven't needed to be," Sam argued; that's why they had Daniel on the team.

"Oh, I can think of several times when it would have been handy to know what was going on," Jack shot back, thinking about missions where he or any of the others had been separated from Daniel and unable to understand the local language.

"Yes, so tell me why have you never done anything about that," Daniel questioned, turning towards Jack in reproach. He had learnt the military way, even if he didn't always follow it, so why hadn't his team-mates done anything to learn about his profession?

Jack couldn't answer that question because he didn't accurately know himself why he had relied on Daniel - and occasionally, Teal'c - to be the team's translator. Over the years he had picked up a smattering of Goa'uld but not enough to carry on a conversation.

Sam ignored that thread and brought the argument back to what she wanted to focus on. Although she considered herself Daniel's friend, there were things that she resented and she now allowed herself to vent. "Don't complain about us not learning another language, Daniel, when you haven't even learnt military procedures. You still don't understand the chain of command, or the concept of obeying orders."

"Well, I'm sorry if I have a mind of my own," Daniel retorted angrily, his eyes spitting fire. "Unlike someone I could name, at least I have the guts to go against orders that are wrong," he continued, referring to the Gadmeer incident that Sam had never got into trouble for. She could have legally disobeyed Jack's order but she hadn't despite her reservations about it. She had built the bomb that could have killed him.

If looks could kill, Daniel would have been dead right then. Sam's face was full of righteous anger. "If I hadn't done anything, the Enkarans would have died."

"You could have found another way!" Daniel still believed there would have been another alternative had Jack looked hard enough. "Isn't part of your job to offer other alternatives, ones that don't involve whole civilisations dying!"

"Enough!" Jack cut in, hating that his team had been divided and that he hadn't seen the build up to this. "In hindsight, we probably would have all done things differently so let's leave it at that, shall we?"

"You're always letting him get away with disobeying your orders," Sam accused, too angry to care that she was being insubordinate. "Why is that, sir?" The emphasis she put on the last word was almost sarcastic.

"What makes you assume that Daniel gets away with it?" Jack countered. "Because you don't see me bawling him out? Believe me, Major, if Daniel crosses the line, he does get punished but I don't advertise it because it's not necessary." Usually, Jack never actually had to deal out any punishment because Daniel's guilt was enough punishment on its own. "As a civilian, though, he has a certain amount of latitude."

"You would let him get away with murder," Sam argued.

"And you think that you don't get away with unprofessional behaviour?" Jack's eyes narrowed. He wished that he didn't have to do this in public but Carter's attitude was way out of line. "You didn't used to be a doormat, Carter, until that whole zatarc thing. I think you took what I said and made it into something more, and you've let it affect your work. Daniel's right - as my second in command, you have a responsibility to give me other options, especially if you don't think my orders are correct, but you haven't been doing that since you thought that caring too much was something more. I'm not going to say anything more on that subject except it's not going to happen, so get over it."

Sam ignored that, livid that he would even bring up the topic of their love in front of witnesses, especially the general, and went on the attack. "You haven't exactly been professional yourself, Colonel, or you would have called me on any so-called unprofessional behaviour long before now."

"No, I haven't been entirely professional, I'll admit that, but at least I haven't gone rushing out in the middle of a battle to check on you and left the rest of my team vulnerable to attack," Jack shot back. Things had gone much too far.

"I'm sure if it was Daniel, you would have," Sam shot back, jealousy tinging her anger now. "After all, you two are very 'close'."

"Excuse me?" Daniel wasn't so oblivious as to not catch what she was implying. "Jack and I are just good friends, Sam."

"Exactly," Jack agreed. "Just because I hang out with him and not you doesn't mean that it's anything other than friendship." The thought of being with Daniel in a relationship had never crossed his mind.

"That's the problem, isn't it?" Daniel questioned, his quick mind putting all the evidence together and coming up with a theory. "You're jealous because Jack can spend as much time with me as he likes as I'm a civilian but he can't spend time with you because you're in his chain of command."

"Don't play the innocent, Daniel," Sam spat. "You've always wanted more than just friendship with the colonel. Don't think your flirting has gone unnoticed, the way you always bat your eyes at him to get your own way. It's disgusting."

"What?"

"Excuse me?"

"Major!"

Sam ignored the overlapping voices and focused on the object of her anger. "Why couldn't you have just stayed ascended? I was finally getting somewhere and then you had to come back and everyone fawned over you, especially the colonel, and suddenly I didn't exist anymore!" Resentment poured out of her, feelings that she had been keeping hidden for years, and she didn't care who heard her.

General Hammond decided to call a halt; too many things were going to be said that he wasn't supposed to hear, and given the nature of them, it could tear his flagship team apart. "Major, that's enough!" Silence descended upon the room, and Hammond looked at the faces of SG-1. Daniel's expression displayed his bewilderment and hurt at the words that had come from one of his closest friends. Jack's was closer to anger, and he had moved - unconsciously, most likely - to stand partially in front of his best friend as if to protect him. Sam's face was filled with anger, hurt, jealousy and grief, and it pained Hammond to think of what she had gone through all these years imagining that she always played second fiddle to Daniel when it came to attention from Jack.

And that was something that he wasn't allowed to think about. He had been aware of Carter's infatuation with Jack but he had hoped that she would grow out of it in time. However it had only got worse, he noted with dismay, especially with her perceived jealousy towards the friendship Jack shared with Daniel. Hammond wasn't about to delve too closely into that friendship; the two men had always seemed closer than they should be in such an environment as this. Nevertheless, as far as he could tell, it had never impacted on their working relationship, although something had happened in the year before Daniel's ascension. Whether that was a result of Jack's subtle encouragement of Carter's affections or not wasn't any of his business. But now with Carter's blatant disregard for propriety in the field, the whole mess had now landed in his lap.

"This isn't a good time to continue this discussion," he continued, looking at all four team members in turn. Teal'c was the only one who hadn't said anything, and the only one who could meet Hammond's gaze. Flicking his eyes towards Carter, Hammond silently asked Teal'c to take care of her; the other two men would take care of each other.

Teal'c inclined his head; he would look after Major Carter. He was disturbed by the words that had been spoken and realised that he should have seen the signs of her resentment earlier. Not that she hadn't grieved when Daniel Jackson had ascended but as time had gone on, she had tried to become closer to O'Neill, had tried to fill the gap that the scholar had left. It hadn't worked as O'Neill hadn't allowed anyone close during that year, and when Daniel Jackson had returned, Teal'c had noticed that O'Neill was much happier again. In his opinion, Major Carter's allusion to them being a couple was closer to the mark than even the two men themselves knew.

"You're all on stand-down for the next forty-eight hours," Hammond stated, "although some of you may be required to assist into the inquiry." By which time he would know whether Major Carter would be charged with deserting her post. "I expect reports from all of you at the end of that time."

"Sir, what about the film crew?" Jack asked, curious to know what was going to happen about them.

"You let me worry about them, Colonel. Dismissed."

Jack nodded and then ushered Daniel out of the office. The sooner he got Daniel home and drunk, the better because then the linguist wouldn't dwell on the nastiness of the past hour.

Sam nearly cried as she watched Jack leave with Daniel. She had lost him, and it was all because she had shown how much she cared for him. If Daniel had done the same thing, no-one would have cared but because she was military, it was forbidden. Irrationally, she hated Daniel for that.

"Come, Major Carter." Teal'c's voice was gentle and understanding. "You must rest."

The last thing she wanted to do was rest because that would allow her to think and then she would remember that her best friend had died. "I can't," she replied, a huge lump in her throat. Janet was gone and it was all Daniel's fault.

"Then join me in Kel'no'reem," Teal'c invited. "I... find that I wish for company," he stated truthfully. Indeed, he too was grieving for the loss of Doctor Fraiser but also, he wished to guide his friend towards the truths that she had been hiding from so that she could heal.

"I... thank you." Sam decided to join him because it wasn't often that Teal'c issued such an invitation. "I would be honoured."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was quiet on the car trip home. Daniel stared out the side window the whole time while Jack focused on driving, knowing not to push his friend into talking. When they got home, Jack went straight into the kitchen, got a pack of beers from the fridge, made some toasted sandwiches and then joined Daniel on the couch in the living room. "Here, tuck into these."

"I'm not hungry," Daniel replied absently.

"You will be later on so you might as well eat something now," Jack countered. He wasn't exactly hungry either but he knew that neither of them should drink on an empty stomach.

They ate in silence for some time, both consuming a large quantity of beer. Of course, a large quantity for Daniel was considerably less than it was for Jack, but even so, they were both fairly drunk.

Daniel reached for another beer and heard paper crinkle. Frowning, he reached into his shirt pocket and took out the envelope he had been given a few minutes before leaving the base. On the front, it simply read: Daniel Jackson. It was in Janet's handwriting. For some reason, she had written him a letter and kept it in her desk on base but had never given it to him. The only reason he had it now was that one of the nurses had been looking in that particular drawer and had found it, then passed it onto him.

Jack took a bite of his sandwich and then asked, "What's that?"

"I don't know." Daniel wasn't sure that he wanted to know but curiosity compelled him to open it. Inside, on a small piece of white paper, was one word. A frown again crossed his face. What did that mean?

"Daniel?" Jack didn't like the look of that frown. Daniel should never frown, he decided; it just didn't look right on him. "What does it say?"

Ignoring Jack for a moment, Daniel thought back on some of the conversations he could remember having with Janet, searching for any clues as to why she had written just that one word. Then he remembered. "Oh," he said aloud.

"'Oh', what?" Jack questioned.

His inhibitions lowered by the amount of alcohol he had consumed, Daniel smiled faintly at Jack. He understood what Janet had wanted him to know and had to admit, while somewhat drunk, the truth of it; if he had been sober, he might have resisted the knowledge. The question was, would Jack accept it? "Before I ascended, Janet and I were involved for awhile."

"What?" Jack was stunned. How had he not known about that? Surely he would have known... except that was the year when things hadn't been so good between him and Daniel. He still couldn't pinpoint the reason why. "Oh."

Daniel's smile grew a little wider. "Yes, 'oh'. We broke up - well, to be accurate, Janet broke up with me, just before our mission to Kelowna. She said I was in love with someone else but hadn't realised it yet."

Jack's gut tightened. Daniel was in love with someone else? Someone who wasn't him? That wasn't allowed because he was Jack's and no-one else's. "So?" he said gruffly, not fully realising what he had just thought.

"She wouldn't tell me who she thought I was in love with," Daniel continued, not noticing Jack was more tense than he had been a few moments before. "She always said she'd tell me when I was ready to know."

Jack might have been drunk but he wasn't stupid. "The name's on that paper, isn't it?"

"Yes." Daniel pursed his lips as he surveyed Jack's face. Was he jealous? Daniel couldn't tell.

The silence stretched on for around ten seconds before Jack gave in. "Well, who is it?" he demanded.

"Jack, what do you think about gay couples?" Daniel asked by way of answering.

The older man's eyes opened wide. Daniel was in love with a man?? "You're gay?"

"I didn't say that," Daniel refuted, holding up one slightly unsteady finger for emphasis. "I simply asked you a question." He really needed to know what Jack thought.

"What do I think of gay couples?" Jack said. When Daniel nodded in confirmation, it was Jack's turn to frown. He had never given it too much thought, especially when the subject in question was probably Daniel. "Um, I suppose that what people do in their own homes is their own business."

Daniel nodded; that was good. "And what would you say if I said that I was in love with a man?" This was the important question and Daniel hoped that Jack would reply positively.

Jack looked down at the beer in his hands; he wasn't nearly drunk enough to be happy about that. Still, however, he wanted to keep Daniel as his friend so he would have to be supportive. "I would say... he's one lucky guy."

Even better. A little unsteadily, Daniel shifted along the couch until he was sitting right next to Jack, facing him. "Good. Because it's you."

Jack frowned at the sentence that didn't seem to make sense. "What's me?"

"The person I'm in love with," Daniel stated patiently. "See, Janet said so." He waved the piece of paper in front of Jack's face.

Grabbing at Daniel's hand to hold it still, Jack peered at the piece of paper. Sure enough, it had his name on it. "Fraiser reckons this is who you're in love with?" he said sceptically. It couldn't be him. Jack wanted it to be him but knew it couldn't be because he would have noticed by now if Daniel loved him in that way. Well, at least, he thought he would have noticed. Wait... he wanted it to be him...?

"Yes." It all made sense to Daniel. Jack was his best friend, they were extremely comfortable in each other's company, and they argued like an old married couple. It made perfect sense.

"And because Fraiser wrote my name, you believe her?" There had to be another explanation, Jack thought rationally even though part of him was already jumping up and down with joy; the other part was filled with confusion.

"Yes." Daniel frowned, his lips forming a perfect pout. "Why would she lie about something like that?"

Jack was briefly distracted by the pout; those lips looked so inviting... Stop it! he yelled at himself. He dragged his gaze back up to Daniel's eyes but still couldn't think of anything to say. "Uh..."

"See, she wouldn't lie!" Daniel claimed triumphantly, his grin reappearing. "She knew I was in love with you before I did!"

"Geez, Danny, one word from Fraiser and you think you love me! How susceptible are you?" Jack exclaimed, despite his heart going 'he love me, he loves me' over and over.

The impact the words had on Daniel were devastating. The linguist dropped his head, scooted back to the edge of the couch and then crossed his arms over his stomach. It wasn't like that but he didn't know how to tell Jack. Janet's message had simply brought all the different feelings he had about Jack into focus. "You don't love me," he murmured, his heart breaking.

What could Jack say to that? He moved closer to Daniel and took the younger man in his arms. "Of course I love you," he stated, holding on tight despite Daniel's resistance.

Daniel looked up at him, his clear blue eyes slightly unfocused due to his state of inebriation. "Really?"

"Really," Jack confirmed. How could he not love Daniel in some way? In every way, his brain interrupted forcefully, trying to make itself heard; why do you think you hate the idea of Daniel being with someone else?

Daniel's hopes rose slightly. "In love or just as friends?" he questioned tentatively, holding his breath as he waited for an answer.

Gazing into Daniel's beautiful eyes, an epiphany hit Jack, helped along by a surge of desire in his groin. He really and truly loved Daniel. How had he not noticed this before? "In love," he breathed and was delighted to see Daniel's face light up. "I guess we were both as clueless as each other."

Daniel ignored that in favour of kissing Jack. He had never imagined doing it before but it seemed like the right thing to do; if he was sober, he would never have plucked up the courage to do it. And he was glad that he had done it now - it was fantastic! His body immediately reacted, desire surging through him as he leaned into Jack, wanting more.

"Wait." Jack still had enough brain cells left not to want to take advantage of a drunk Daniel. He pushed the younger man away slightly. "We need to talk about this."

"Why?" Daniel didn't want to do any talking, not when his body was thrumming with pleasure. He pushed Jack so that the older man was lying down on the couch and then he sprawled over the top of him. It had been so long since he had been with someone in this way.

"Because I don't want our first time to be a drunken one, I want it to be special," Jack managed to say as all of his blood headed south. Daniel was lying on top of him, a hard erection digging into his hip; Jack had to admit this was a very good position for the linguist to be in. And he was feeling no pain whatsoever from his bruised chest; must be the lack of blood, Jack thought.

That was so sweet. Daniel looked down at Jack, a new warmth in his eyes. "You want it be to special?" he echoed. No-one had ever said that to him before.

"Yeah, I do." Jack wanted to savour every last moment and he knew he couldn't do that unless he was sober. Unless they were both sober.

"Oh." Daniel didn't know what else to say to that. He removed his glasses and snuggled in close, suddenly very sleepy as the alcohol and exhaustion hit him. "Me too." They had all the time in the world.

Jack held Daniel as the younger man fell asleep. It had been a difficult day for the linguist - not to mention the rest of them, but for Daniel most of all. Time enough to deal with the consequences of everything tomorrow when they were both sober. He shifted slightly so he could kiss the top of Daniel's head. He had just been given everything he had ever wanted - even if he hadn't known he had wanted it. Too bad Fraiser wasn't around to thank.

***************

Sam had hardly slept at all as her mind had been full of so many thoughts. Top of the list had been Janet and how much she was going to miss her best friend. Second to that were her thoughts about her team-mates. Teal'c had been a strength, kel'no'reeming with her and offering comfort when necessary. But the other two...

She still blamed Daniel for Janet's death and refused to accept her own culpability. Daniel got away with far too much and the colonel needed to stop making excuses for him. How she hated that. Hated the closeness they shared. The colonel treated Daniel as a person, a friend, someone to invite around to watch hockey. Her, he treated as Major Carter, never inviting her anywhere unless he was certain that others would be there too.

His words to her yesterday implied that he had been stringing her along - that they were never going to get together. Well, she wasn't going to go down without a fight. That's why she was headed to the colonel's - Jack's - place right now, to confront him about it, and if Daniel was there, she would just politely ask him to leave.

She pulled up in front of Jack's house, exited the car, and then strode to the front door. Sam knocked on the door but didn't get any response so she moved around to the back of the house and peered in the large windows where there was a gap in the blinds.

What she saw made her gasp in shock. Daniel and Jack were lying entangled on the couch - fully clothed but their positions told the whole story. They had lied to her! Both of them had denied to her face their involvement and yet here they were, wrapped up in each other's arms!

Sam banged on the window. "Colonel!" she shouted.

Jack awoke with a start, his head pounding. There was a heavy weight on him, and when he opened his eyes, he was surprised to see it was Daniel. What was Daniel... oh yeah. Memories of the night before filtered back to him: they had confessed to being in love with each other, they had kissed twice but hadn't gone any further than that while they were both drunk, and then he had simply held Daniel until the linguist had fallen asleep. It had been nice, Jack thought as he looked fondly upon Daniel's sleeping form; very nice indeed.

The pounding continued and Jack suddenly realised that it wasn't just in his head. He turned his head but couldn't see anyone past the blinds. However, the insistent voice outside made shivers run down his spine. Carter. What was she doing here so early? Jack checked his watch: just after 0900. Okay, not so early.

Carefully, he disentangled himself from Daniel without waking him and then went over to the door that led to the side patio. Jack unlocked it and then stepped outside quickly, shutting the door behind him so that Daniel could sleep undisturbed. That, and he didn't want his two scientists arguing again. "What's the emergency, Carter?" he greeted his 2IC.

"You lied to me," Sam accused without preamble. "You said you weren't involved."

Jack winced; his hangover didn't appreciate Carter's loud voice. "I told you the truth, Carter." For all he knew, it could still be the truth since he wouldn't know Daniel's thoughts on the matter until the linguist woke up.

"Well, you certainly looked cosy to me," Sam shot back. "Or do you normally sleep with Daniel in your arms?" The bitterness she felt came through in her voice.

Better tread carefully here, Jack thought. "In case it escaped your notice yesterday, Daniel saw Fraiser die. Since little things like that tend to upset him, I was simply trying to comfort him. We may have had a little too much to drink and passed out on the couch," he spun a convincing half-truth.

Sam didn't want to buy it. "Together?"

"Obviously. Did you come around here for a reason?" Jack went on the offensive so that Carter wouldn't keep probing about his and Daniel's relationship.

"I wanted to talk about what you said yesterday regarding us."

"There is no 'us'!" Jack scrubbed a hand over his face and wished that he didn't have a headache. Deciding to forget about tact, he stated, "Look, Carter, I care about you more than I should but the same goes for Teal'c and Daniel. As a team, we're way too close, we always have been. For awhile we kinda lost our way and because of that, we lost Daniel for a year, and we became even more lost. I thought that since he'd been back, that we'd come together again as a team but obviously I was wrong because you took something I said totally out of context, and you're wanting something I can't give you."

Tears swam in Sam's eyes as she absorbed the blunt words. "Because you love Daniel."

"No, because I don't love you in that way," Jack replied. "At one time, yeah, I thought I could have but then I realised that I didn't. I'm sorry. I should have said something sooner."

"Yes, you should have." Although she had started seeing someone else recently, she would have broken up with him in a heartbeat if Jack had wanted her; she had only started dating in the hopes that it would make Jack jealous. Before that, she had turned down all those other dates because she had been hoping for something that clearly wasn't going to happen.

When Carter said nothing more, Jack asked, "So are we going to be able to work together?" He didn't want to split the team up but he would if necessary to protect Daniel.

"I don't know." She had made an idiot out of herself and despite the colonel's words, she knew that he and Daniel were an item. Sam wasn't sure she could live with that knowledge in front of her every day. "I'll let you know." She hurried down the steps and away from the house, alternately cursing Jack and wishing that Janet was around to talk to.

Jack sighed. "That went well," he said to himself before going inside. To his surprise, Daniel was no longer on the couch. "Daniel?" he called and then winced; that had been too loud.

"Kitchen," came the response. Jack went through to that room and found Daniel making coffee. "Hello," he said casually.

"Hello," Daniel replied, his eyes on the coffee machine. He had woken up a few minutes earlier to hear voices outside and instead of interrupting, he had decided to cure his hangover first. While he had waiting for the coffee to be ready, he had remembered the events of last night. Some of it was blurry but the rest was perfectly clear. He had told Jack that he loved him - after showing him Janet's message. Given Daniel's history with relationships, Jack's reaction shouldn't have been very surprising but it had hurt nonetheless. He hadn't fallen in love with Jack on Janet's say-so; it was just that the message was the catalyst for realising that he loved the older man as more than a friend. And he trusted Janet's judgement because she always told him the truth.

"That was Carter," Jack explained awkwardly, hands in his pockets. He didn't know whether to go over there and hug Daniel, didn't know whether that would be allowed, so he tried to make conversation.

"Oh? What did she want?" Something to do with loving Jack, Daniel would bet.

"I think she came around to try and convince me that I was in love with her," Jack said honestly, deciding that anything less than the truth would be met with scepticism. "Then she saw us on the couch, jumped to a conclusion, and I told her that nothing could ever happen between us. Between her and me, I mean, not you and I."

"So there's something between us?" Daniel questioned softly, finally turning to meet Jack's gaze.

"I hope so." Jack stepped forward and when Daniel didn't tell him to stop, moved into his linguist's personal space. "I meant what I said last night."

"So did I," Daniel stated with relief; Jack wasn't going to reject him. He linked his hands behind Jack's back, pulling his soon-to-be lover in close. Then something occurred to him. "Does Sam think that we're together?" With the mood Sam was in at the moment, it could spell the end of Jack's career if she told General Hammond.

Jack sighed and leaned in to rest his forehead against Daniel's, his hands on the younger man's hips. "I don't know." He had tried but he wasn't sure that she believed his explanation. "But if she tells Hammond, I'll retire." There was no way he wanted to go to jail over this because that just wasn't fair to Daniel.

"What?" Daniel couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Jack, you can't retire! I need you out there!" He counted on Jack to watch his back on missions.

"That's the thing, Daniel, I won't be out there, I'll be in jail," Jack pointed out. "If I retire, at least I'll still be here."

That was a good point. "Maybe if I talk to her..."

"Daniel, I doubt that Carter will want to talk to you at the moment either. Besides the whole 'us' thing, she blames you for Fraiser's... you know." He wasn't able to say the word 'death' as he was still at the stage of thinking that the next time he went into the infirmary, she would be there. Additionally, he hadn't forgiven Carter for the accusation - there was no way Daniel was to blame.

"Oh yeah." Daniel had briefly forgotten about that. "So...?"

"So we'll cross each bridge as it appears," Jack stated, mangling the cliché. "In the meantime, I believe I said something about a special first time." He let his hands slide under Daniel's shirt to caress bare skin.

Daniel shivered and then smiled at Jack. "I do believe you did." For a brief moment, as Jack took his hand to lead him to the bedroom, he felt guilty that he was about to have sex only a day after Janet's death. Then he remembered that she wouldn't want him to stop living and in fact, had sort of approved of his relationship with Jack because of that note. Therefore he would enjoy this; there was time enough to mourn later.

***************

Still in shock, Sam returned to the SGC and sought out Teal'c; he would be her ally in this. They returned to his quarters and once the door closed behind them, Sam blurted out, "They're lovers!"

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. He had an idea who she meant but needed confirmation. "Who are?"

"Daniel and the colonel." Sam couldn't believe how they had lied right to her face! "I saw them!"

This wasn't good. "What did you see, Major Carter?" Perhaps she had misconstrued what she had witnessed.

"They were sleeping together on the couch." Tears sprung into Sam's eyes as she remembered the scene. "They were lying there... together."

"Perhaps it was not as it seemed," Teal'c attempted to reason with her.

Sam stared at Teal'c in disbelief. "Are you taking their side?"

"I am taking no-one's side," Teal'c assured her. "I simply believe in having all the facts before making a judgement."

"Well, the fact is that they've been having an affair right under our noses!" Sam spat, grief and disappointment making her bitter. "They've been lying to us for years!"

"Indeed, they have not." Teal'c knew a few things that she didn't. "They have loved each other for some time but have never acted upon those feelings."

"What?" Sam couldn't believe what she was hearing. "They can't be in love. Jack loves me and Daniel still loves Sha're."

Teal'c inwardly frowned; this was not going to be easy. "O'Neill has never been in love with you."

"Excuse me?" How could Teal'c ignore all the evidence? "He said so in the zatarc machine."

"He did not," Teal'c disagreed. "He merely stated that he cared more than he should."

"Which means that he loves me but couldn't say so in front of witnesses," Sam persisted.

Time to try a different approach. "Do you believe that the two of you would be truly happy, Major Carter?"

"Yes."

"Are you certain?" Teal'c pressed. "You have no interests in common, and I believe you would become frustrated with O'Neill's... denseness."

Sam refused to admit that Teal'c had a point. "Well, he and Daniel don't have anything in common either." The weekly arguments proved that.

"Daniel Jackson, however, does not underestimate O'Neill's intelligence, and their souls are very similar." Despite the outward differences, Teal'c had observed that certain characteristics - strength, loyalty, love of family - were much the same.

Sam shook her head. "No, you're wrong. They're nothing alike." There was no way that Daniel was more suited to Jack than she was. "And I don't underestimate Jack's intelligence."

"Indeed you do." Admittedly, Teal'c knew that underestimating O'Neill was very easy to do given the act the man put on. "I believe you would be unhappy with O'Neill as a life partner. He is not the man for you. However, he and Daniel Jackson are eminently suited as a mated couple. They balance each other."

"You're lying," Sam accused as tears trickled down her cheeks. She couldn't lose Jack; that would be the same as admitting she had made a mistake in loving him all these years.

"I wish I was," Teal'c stated truthfully; he hadn't wanted to be the one to cause her pain. "But I am not. You need to accept this and move on."

A loud sob escaped Sam as her dreams of settling down with Jack died. Teal'c put his arms around her and held her as she cried for the loss of that dream and for the death of her best friend.

***************

By the time they went back to work two days later, Daniel and Jack had explored each other's bodies several times. They had been called in once, separately, to talk to Hammond but other than that, they had spent most of the time at Jack's house, quite a lot of it in bed. They were both enjoying the new level to their relationship, and it helped to keep their mind off what had happened off-world.

They had also spent some time with Cassie, who was reeling from the loss of her mother. Daniel, in particular, was able to empathise with the loss of a parent in such tragic circumstances but listening to Cassie's grief also served to increase his guilt. Afterwards, Jack had held Daniel for a long time, both of them working through their own feelings of grief, which served to bring them closer together.

The memorial service was set for 1300 hours, which meant that everyone would be waiting the whole morning for it. Jack made sure that he spent much of that time in Daniel's office keeping him occupied because he knew how difficult this was going to be for the younger man. Also, it meant that they were keeping out of Sam's way, neither man wanting to find out if she had calmed down any.

Teal'c had dropped in though. He hadn't said much but a gentle hand on Daniel's shoulder had spoken volumes about his compassion for the young scholar.

It was during Teal'c's visit that Hammond summoned Jack to his office. After extracting a promise from the Jaffa to stay with Daniel, Jack went down to level 27, wondering whether this would be it, whether Carter had said something. The general's expression didn't alleviate any of his fears. "You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Sit down, Colonel." Hammond hated having to do this. "Our preliminary inquiry shows that no one thing contributed to Doctor Fraiser's death. There is no proof that Major Carter's dereliction of duty let any extra Jaffa through, and it's doubtful that even if Doctor Jackson hadn't been holding the video camera that he would have shot the Jaffa in time. However, I am informing you as Major Carter's commanding officer that there will be further inquiry into why she left her position, which will likely lead to, at best, a reprimand in her record or at worst, a demotion to Captain and reassignment to another team."

"Yes, sir." Whichever way the verdict went, Carter was not going to be happy. Well, she should have thought of that before acting unprofessionally.

"I hope, Colonel, that whatever is going on between the two of you has been resolved." He wasn't going to ask whether Jack was having a relationship with Major Carter, nor was he going to probe into the even more inappropriate relationship between the colonel and Doctor Jackson.

"It has been, sir," Jack replied. "Major Carter and I had a talk a couple of days ago."

"Good." That was a weight off his mind. "How is Doctor Jackson?"

Jack sighed; that was the question. "He says he's fine." Which usually meant he was anything but. "I think he's still feeling guilty though." After seven years, Jack knew when his linguist was hurting, even if for awhile there he had ignored the signs.

Hammond nodded; he had expected that. "Look after our boy, Jack." Daniel had been through so much and this tragedy on top of all the others...

"Count on it, sir." Daniel would be smothered with TLC if Jack got his way.

***************

To the outside observer at Janet's memorial service, SG-1 appeared to present a united front. Nothing could be further from the truth though. Sam completely ignored Daniel, seethed furiously at Jack, and talked only to Teal'c; Jack kept Daniel away from Sam as much as possible, wanting to prevent his newfound lover from getting hurt; and Daniel felt guilty all the way through the service.

Hammond noticed all this and hoped that once the initial grief had passed, that SG-1 would be able to work together again. Most of it would depend on whether Sam was able to accept responsibility for her mistake or not. If she couldn't, Hammond figured he would need to find her a place on another team, something he didn't want to do. SG-1 had an excellent track record together, despite all the injuries and planetary incidents, and they worked well as a team. However he may not have a choice.

***************

Sometimes it was nice just being held, Daniel thought as he relaxed in Jack's arms. They were in bed together, clothed in t-shirts and pyjama bottoms, but neither of them felt like doing anything energetic. Jack reclined against the headboard while Daniel lay back against him, the older man's arms around his waist. It should have felt strange, them both being men, but it felt right and Daniel wasn't ashamed to admit it. The two of them had always touched - well, Jack more than him - so this was just an extension of that.

"Penny for your thoughts," Jack said, sliding one hand under Daniel's t-shirt to rest on bare skin. It felt so peaceful to be sitting together like this without the urgency of sex getting in the way.

Daniel chuckled. "I'm just wondering why I never noticed that I liked you touching me." The hugs Jack had given him in the past, the hair ruffles and pats on the back... surely he should have clued in earlier as to why he had enjoyed them. "Or that you touched me more than you did anyone else."

"Yeah, well..." Jack had no excuse for that since he didn't even know exactly why he couldn't keep his hands off Daniel in those early days.

"Do you think that's why Janet thought I was in love with you? Because I let you touch me?" Daniel questioned. There weren't many people he would let do that, only the members of SG-1 and Janet, so obviously it had to be a factor.

"That was probably part of it," Jack agreed. Since he so obviously liked touching Daniel, he wondered whether Janet knew about his love for the younger man. "You didn't let anyone else hug you."

Daniel thought back to the aftermath of being addicted to the sarcophagus on Shyla's planet and that hug. His loving Jack probably dated back to that day when the older man had held him as he had fallen apart and then helped put him back together again. Much like he had just a few nights ago when Daniel was filled with grief, and four years earlier when Sha're had died. Jack's touch anchored him and made him feel wanted, needed and loved. "She shouldn't have loved me."

"Why not?"

"Because they all die or get snaked. Mom, Dad, Sha're, Sarah, Janet... you." No-one had ever stuck around for long, through no fault of their own.

Jack hated being stuck in that category but he couldn't deny that he had died or that he had temporarily been host to a Goa'uld. "I've always come back to you though," he pointed out. "And you've always come back to me. But getting back to your point, it wasn't your fault with Fraiser. It wouldn't have made a difference if you had been lovers--," he didn't like that fact, "--or not. It's just a really bad coincidence, same as all the others."

"Gee, that makes me feel so much better," Daniel commented dryly. No-one else had so many 'coincidences' in their life.

"Glad to be of assistance," Jack joked and was pleased to hear Daniel's answering chuckle. His lover had a tendency to dwell on depressing topics and Jack figured that it was his task to lighten the mood on those occasions. "And you do realise that there's a precedence set for surviving loving you? Besides me, I mean."

"Who?" Daniel couldn't think of anyone...

"Shyla." Much as Jack hated to admit it, the princess had loved Daniel in her own twisted way. "She's still alive and hasn't been snaked. And what about Kera? And Kegan?" Jack wasn't sure how deeply Daniel had been involved with the latter two but they had definitely been in love with him. Of course, that might have been his jealousy talking at the time, even though he hadn't officially been in love with Daniel back then.

"Okay, you win," Daniel gave in, grudgingly admitting that Jack had a point. He rested his head in the curve between Jack's shoulder and neck, liking how their bodies fit together. "But just as a matter of reference, I wasn't in love with those three."

Jack knew he was going to regret asking this question but he went ahead anyway. "What about Fraiser?"

Daniel was silent for a minute as he contemplated his answer. Finally, he said, "No, I wasn't in love with her. I loved her but not enough to be in love with her." Not like he was in love with Jack. Janet had obviously known it but hadn't held it against him.

The jealous part of Jack was relieved but he also felt bad that Janet hadn't been loved like she had deserved. A cynical part of him also pointed out that maybe if Janet knew that she couldn't have Daniel's love then she wouldn't let Jack have it either, at least not while she was around. That didn't sound like the Fraiser he knew but then again, he had never claimed to know how women thought.

"I'm afraid," Daniel confessed.

"Of?"

"Losing you too." He rested one arm over Jack's and threaded his fingers through his lover's. "Of not being able to hide this from everyone and what they might do if they know."

Jack knew that he meant Carter, and he had to admit, he was scared too. Who knew what she might do if she was upset enough? "Then we'll just have to take each day as it comes and make the most of the time we've got." The fact that either one of them could die on an off-world mission at any time was also a big worry. However the fact that they now had a relationship was a huge incentive to always get home in one piece.

Daniel sighed; he hated that the time they had together might be cut short for one reason or another. He had lived his entire life that way so far and he was sick of it. Just once, he would like to know that the person he loved wasn't going to leave him for a long time. "Do you think Sam's going to get over this?"

Not sure whether Daniel was talking about the relationship or the consequences for her unprofessional behaviour, Jack shrugged. "I hope so. SG-1's got a good record - well, relatively speaking - out in the field and I don't want to mess with that. But it depends on whether she can get her head out of her--"

"Jack," Daniel gently reprimanded his lover.

"--and accept that her actions were wrong," Jack continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. He let his fingers lazily caress Daniel's stomach. "What she said to you was totally uncalled for."

"She was upset," Daniel started to excuse Sam.

"She was out of line," Jack corrected him. "Carter wasn't the only one upset at losing the Doc but she let that override everything else." He wasn't going to forgive Carter for basically stating that Daniel should never have descended. "She hurt you."

Daniel couldn't deny that; Sam's words had hurt deeply. They still did. "Do I... did I really flirt with you?"

"Before we got together? No," Jack stated truthfully. He supposed some of Daniel's behaviour could have been construed that way by others but he had never thought so - unless it had been directed towards someone else, of course, such as Kera.

"But obviously Sam thought I did," Daniel commented. He wondered what she had seen that she had interpreted as flirting. "I never meant..."

"I know." Jack knew that it wasn't a conscious action on Daniel's part; in fact, it was probably some kind of defence mechanism like when he had batted his eyelids at the bounty hunter, Aris Boch. "I don't pretend to know what women think but it's possible that she wants you to hurt as much as she does," he guessed. It would certainly explain why Carter had lashed out; the other reason - that she was jealous of Daniel - didn't bear thinking about.

Deciding that Daniel was thinking too much, Jack shifted so that he could kiss the younger man, thereby distracting him. "How about we get some sleep?" he suggested after a minute.

"Sounds good." Daniel spooned up to Jack's side, needing to hold onto him tonight. He took a deep breath, inhaling Jack's spicy scent, and let himself relax. Time enough to think about Sam tomorrow.

***************

"What's going to happen to Sam?"

Jack sighed; he didn't want to get into this so early in the morning. "It depends."

Daniel put his coffee cup down on the kitchen table and looked into Jack's eyes. He should have asked about this last night but they had both still been depressed from Janet's memorial service. "On what?"

"On whether those investigating the incident decide that she shouldn't have left her post during the battle." It had been stupid, in Jack's opinion, not the least because Carter also could have been shot while checking on him.

"And if they do?" Daniel persisted. He needed to know what would happen because although Sam had hurt him with her accusations, she was still part of his family.

"If it had been found that her dereliction of duty had played a part in Janet's death, then she could have been court-martialled," Jack replied, glad that it hadn't played out that way. "As it is, she's looking at a reprimand, demotion, or possibly a delay in promotion."

Daniel hung his head. Sam didn't deserve a demotion, no matter what she had said to him, especially since he couldn't say that under similar circumstances he wouldn't have done the same thing. Well, actually, he would have stayed put because Jack had taught him to wait until the danger had passed. Emphatically taught him, as the case was, after a mission where they had all barely made it back alive.

"She knew better, Danny," Jack continued when his lover didn't say anything. "And she knew I was wearing the Kevlar vest so the chances of me taking a fatal hit were less than usual."

"I know. I just--" Daniel waved his hand, hoping that Jack would understand.

"Yeah." Jack knew. "Things are going to get messy. I let her believe that her feelings were returned." It was easier to have those rumours than the ones about him and Daniel.

"And why did you do that exactly?" Daniel wanted to know, crossing his arms over his chest. He knew Jack wasn't dumb and that the older man had to have known what the consequences would be. "Because it made you feel good that Sam wanted you?"

That had been one of the minor reasons but he wasn't about to admit that to Daniel. "Because I thought she'd grow out of it, that she'd find someone better. How was I to know that she wouldn't?"

"Because you're the one who keeps saying that she doesn't have a life," Daniel pointed out. "She has a right to be upset with you, Jack. You lied by omission and led her on by not telling her that nothing was going to happen." If it were him, that was how he would feel about Jack's behaviour.

Jack wished he could deny it but unfortunately, he had just admitted that was exactly what he had done. Therefore, he picked a different line of arguing. "She should have known because I didn't break the rules for her."

Daniel shook his head; he knew Jack wasn't this dense. "How many relationships has Sam had since joining the SGC? She saw Narim less than a handful of times, Orlin was only around for a matter of days, Martouf was never around... like the rest of us on SG-1, she hasn't exactly had the chance to develop a healthy relationship with anyone. She also has a soft spot for the lunatic fringe," he added with a grin.

"Hey," Jack protested mildly. "If that was the case, she could have fallen for you too, you know."

"No, I'm a geek, not a lunatic - there is a difference," Daniel rebutted. One side of his mouth quirked upwards when he saw Jack's mouth open and he held up one finger. "Don't even say it. You need to talk to Sam and apologise."

"Apologise?" Jack echoed with dismay. "I'm not good at apologies."

"I know," Daniel stated dryly; he was usually the one Jack failed dismally to apologise to. Although he shouldn't cast stones since he wasn't much better, especially when it came to Jack. "But you should still do it. Carefully," he added; the last thing he wanted was for Jack to make matters worse.

Jack groaned; he definitely didn't want to do that. "Do I have to?" he whined.

"Yes."

"Couldn't I just send her a fruit basket or something?"

"Jack." There was a lot of meaning in that one word.

"Okay, okay," Jack gave in. Daniel was giving him 'the look', which never failed to slip past his defences. "I'll talk to her." That was going to be a fun conversation.

Not.

***************

When Daniel went back to his place later that morning, he certainly didn't expect to find Sam sitting on the front doorstep. Guiltily, he wished that he had accepted Jack's offer of coming with him because then he wouldn't have to confront Sam on his own; she didn't look to be in a good mood. "Um, hi?" he offered tentatively as he walked up to her.

"We need to talk," was all Sam said in reply. She had been up all night thinking and decided that she needed to talk to Daniel about his feelings for Jack. Somehow, she had to find out the truth, whether he and Jack were in love with each other, and if they were, try to convince him that they couldn't have a relationship because it would ruin Jack's career. Or, as she hoped, whether it was simply a meaningless fling on Jack's part which would end when he realised that he was meant to be with her.

This definitely wasn't good. Daniel nodded his agreement and opened the front door, allowing Sam to enter before him. The hallway was cluttered with knick-knacks and artefacts so they carefully walked the short distance into the living room. Daniel stuck his hands in his pockets and looked at Sam. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Are you in love with the colonel?" She had to know the truth.

Daniel was speechless for a few seconds then recovered enough to say, "What happened to 'don't ask, don't tell'?"

"It doesn't apply to you. You're a civilian, as you keep reminding us," Sam said more calmly than she felt. To her, the avoidance spoke volumes.

"I work in a military environment, Sam, of course it applies to me," Daniel countered, not liking the direction this was heading in.

"You're not answering the question, Daniel," Sam pointed out, feeling that her suspicions were confirmed.

"I can't believe you're asking it!" He hadn't even thought that she would confront him about it, even after the argument she'd had with Jack. "Besides, would it matter one way or the other?"

Sam's eyes widened; how could he even think it wouldn't? "Of course it matters. If you're in love with him, then it will impact on the way you do your job."

That was the pot calling the kettle black. "The way you let it affect yours?" Daniel shot back, annoyed that she thought so little of him.

Ignoring that - the only evidence that she had heard the comment was a slight tightening around her eyes - Sam continued, "And you'll distract the colonel from doing his job as well. Of course, you're already doing that anyway, given the number of times he's had to rescue you."

That accusation was thoroughly undeserved and unfounded but Daniel recognised that Sam was hurting and was lashing out at him. In her mind, he had stolen Jack away from her. "Sam, this isn't the time to discuss this..."

"Then when is the time? After Colonel O'Neill lands in the infirmary because you were too busy making eyes at him?" Sam spat out. She didn't want to accept that Jack might be in love with Daniel; it was easier to believe that it was the archaeologist making all the moves.

"I don't make eyes at him!" That suggestion was beyond ridiculous. "I don't flirt with Jack."

"No, you've just insinuated yourself into his life so that he's too busy looking after you to spend time with anyone else!" Sam started to lose her composure. "Even when you were dead, he was too preoccupied with you, it was always 'Daniel this' and 'Daniel that'. He should have turned to me!"

A brief thought ran through Daniel's mind but he dismissed it immediately; there was no way Sam could have engineered the incident on Kelowna to get rid of him. "Jack's not like that. He copes with grief on his own." He had learnt that on Abydos the first time from the snippets of conversation he'd had with the man.

"You know, he didn't even look upset at your memorial service," Sam aimed for her words to hurt.

Daniel hadn't known that but he wouldn't have expected anything else. "He also doesn't grieve in public. Jack keeps his emotions close to his chest." He knew that better than anyone else did.

Frustrated, Sam spat out, "He doesn't love you! He loves me!" It was a matter of record.

"In some way, yes, he does," Daniel agreed calmly. "But not the way you want him to and you know that or you wouldn't be here." She was jealous, plain and simple. It was also a way to avoid dealing with Janet's death. "I'm not the one you should be talking to, Sam. Go talk to Jack."

"He'll just deny everything," Sam refused.

"You mean he won't tell you what you want to hear," Daniel clarified.

Sam glared at Daniel, hating him for speaking her fears aloud. "I'm not going to stand here and listen to this. Go ahead and destroy the colonel's career; I'm sure he'll thank you for it." Her final barb flung with deadly accuracy, she spun around and stormed out of the house.

Daniel slumped onto the nearby couch, his heart sinking. They hadn't come to a definite decision about what to do if their relationship was discovered by the general. The way Sam was feeling now, they might have to decide sooner than they had expected.

Speaking of Jack... Daniel quickly dialled his lover's number. When Jack answered, Daniel stated, "Sam was here, we had words, I think she's on her way round to you."

[Are you okay? What kind of words?] Jack was very quick to ask.

"I'm fine. She thinks that I'm going to ruin your career because I'm in love with you, that sort of thing," Daniel replied flippantly, not wanting to let on that anything was wrong. "Go easy on her, Jack, she's upset about Janet."

[So are the rest of us but we're not going around trying to create trouble,] Jack retorted. He sighed, keeping silent for a moment. [I'll do my best,] he promised.

"Thanks. I'll see you later." Daniel hung up and slumped back. If this situation didn't resolve itself, SG-1 would never be the same again.

***************

It wasn't too early in the day for a beer but Jack knew he should face this sober, so he went into the living room and switched the television on, hoping that watching the hockey game would keep him calm. When the doorbell rang some ten minutes later, he was as mellow as he could be under the circumstances.

He got up and opened the door, unsurprised to see Carter there, her expression grim. "Major," he said in greeting.

"Sir, I need to talk to you." On the way over, she had rehearsed what she needed to say to get Jack to realise what a risk he was taking, and that had calmed her slightly.

"Come in then," Jack invited with a sweep of his arm. He followed her through to the living room and noticed that she avoided sitting on the couch or even looking at it - so he sat there. "Before you say anything, Carter, I'd like to apologise for the way I've behaved over the last few years. I let you believe that there could be something more between us and that was never the case."

"Thank you, sir." At least that was something, if not exactly what she had hoped to hear.

"So...?" Jack invited Carter to speak her mind.

"Permission to speak freely?" When Jack nodded, she continued, "I think you're making a mistake. Getting involved with Daniel," Sam elaborated when Jack raised an eyebrow. "He could ruin your career if anyone found out."

"Other than that, is there any reason why I shouldn't get involved with Daniel if I was indeed planning that?" Jack had to ask, wondering what she would come up with.

Sam hadn't anticipated that question. She opened her mouth and then closed it again, contemplating whether she should be bold. After a few moments, she decided that she didn't have anything left to lose. "He'll be a distraction," she used the same argument she had tried with Daniel. "You won't be able to concentrate on the missions the way you should."

"So you're telling me that I should retire if I get involved with Daniel because I'm not enough of a professional to separate my private life from my work," Jack queried.

"No!" Sam hadn't meant to imply that. "But... if it came to a choice, which would you choose?"

Jack decided not to play dumb. "Saving the world is getting old, Carter. If I had to, retiring wouldn't be such a big deal." That was as near as he could say 'I would choose Daniel' within the confines of military policy. He and Daniel hadn't been together as lovers for very long but he knew that the linguist was more important to the program than he was. And if that was what it took to keep them together as a couple, then Jack was quite prepared to retire again.

Sam couldn't believe what she had just heard. "You would retire for Daniel??" she said incredulously.

"I didn't say that," Jack rebuffed, being careful not to say anything specifically relating to Daniel.

"Why would you retire for him and not me?" Sam demanded to know. Just the knowledge that Jack would pick Daniel over her was a severe blow to her ego - to know he would retire for someone else other than her intensified the damage.

"I didn't say that either." Jack wasn't going to give her anything that she could use to incriminate him in a court-martial. "All I said was that if I had to retire, then I wouldn't make a fuss." His knees were giving him more trouble the older he got, so he wouldn't miss running around the galaxy... too much.

Sam was frustrated; why wouldn't Jack admit his guilt? "So you don't care if everyone finds out that you're doing Daniel?"

Oy, this was not going well. "Firstly, Carter, I am not doing Daniel." That was the literal truth - so far, they hadn't gone 'all the way'. "Secondly, would you really put Daniel in danger with unsubstantiated rumours out of spite?" Carter had no proof that he and Daniel were together and Jack was aiming to keep things that way.

"He turned you gay!" Sam protested, not caring about Daniel's well-being at the moment.

"I don't think it works that way," Jack stated. "No-one can turn anyone else gay. From what I've heard, it's just a latent part of one's genetic make-up that isn't triggered until they meet the right person whether that person be of the same gender or not." That certainly seemed to be the way it had happened for him in regards to Daniel.

"I'm the right person for you," Sam refused to listen to Jack. "We've been together in all the other realities."

"And in all two of them, I'm dead," Jack pointed out, stressing the fact that two realities were hardly enough to draw sweeping conclusions from. "You're dead in one of them, and so is nearly everyone else on Earth. All indications are that it was because Daniel wasn't with the program that doomed that reality, and same with the second one. Also, if Daniel hadn't come up with his usual brilliant ideas, then that reality would still be under the control of Apophis."

Sam clenched her fists at Jack's obvious bias. "Daniel didn't do a thing to help them! I was the one who built the energy source so the other me could contact the Asgard."

"And whose idea was it to contact the Asgard in the first place? Daniel's," Jack reminded her. He might play dumb but he could remember pretty much all of Daniel's good ideas - and there were a lot of them. "None of us thought of that."

"I would have," Sam argued, certain that that was true.

"Maybe. But how long would it have taken you? Think back to when we were stuck in Antarctica together. Why did it never occur to you to try another address instead of just Earth's? I could have died out there if Daniel hadn't put the pieces together and worked out where we were," Jack stated bluntly.

Sam felt hurt at the reprimand so she hit back with, "You never thought of it either!"

"No, I didn't but I'm not the genius, remember?" Jack had been pre-occupied with other things such as trying not to die slowly from internal bleeding. "You were the expert on the gate and yet it never occurred to you that the problem might not have been with our gate. Granted, neither of us had had much experience with the Stargate at that point but still, you never tried all the options, you just assumed you were right even though you obviously weren't."

Sam realised that she wasn't going to win that argument so she changed directions. "At least I don't challenge every decision that you make."

"And that's half the problem! I don't always make the right call," Jack admitted freely. "You're supposed to question immoral orders, not go along with them. If you can't do that, not to mention separate your personal life from your professional one, then you don't deserve the rank of Major."

That really hurt Sam. She had worked hard to get to where she was and she resented the implication that she didn't deserve it just because of some obviously poor choices. "And you don't deserve the rank of Colonel if you're going to flout the rules and screw a team member."

"Why not? You had no problems with that when you thought it was going to be you," Jack pointed out.

Sam ignored that comment. "So you admit that you and Daniel are together," she accused, positive she had finally caught him out.

"No, I don't." There was no way he could admit that to anyone without serious consequences for the both of them. "I'm just pointing out a flaw in your thinking. Why should it be different for any of you in SG-1, if I was interested in a relationship? Would you be putting forward these arguments if it were Teal'c in question rather than Daniel?"

"I..." Sam didn't know how to answer that question because she had never given it any thought. Jack and Teal'c? She just couldn't imagine them together, being two alpha males. Unfortunately for Daniel, however, she could imagine him with the colonel.

"I'm not going to discuss this any more," Jack stated firmly, using his command voice. Too many things had already been said and he wasn't sure how they were going to work together after this. If Carter couldn't deal with this though, he doubted they would be working together anyway. "Go home, Carter. Take some time off."

"Why?" she challenged.

"Why? To get some perspective," Jack snapped. "Just because I don't want to get involved with you, it doesn't mean that I'm with someone else and you're going to have to accept that. You're also going to have to figure out if you can deal with me not being with you in a relationship sense, not to mention the fact that at some point, I undoubtedly *will* get involved with someone else."

"Daniel," Sam spat, extremely jealous at the very thought.

"Why are you so fixated on the idea of me and Daniel together?" Jack questioned, trying to put some doubt in Carter's mind. "I'm not a monk, Carter, I never have been. I haven't sat around here pining for you, I've been out meeting other people and even sleeping with some of them. Daniel isn't even in the equation." Until now, that is. Jack's days of playing the field had come to a halt although he wasn't about to let Carter in on that secret.

Sam lashed out, wanting to hurt Jack as much as he was hurting her, but she stopped herself just before contact. She wasn't so far gone as to not realise that she had been about to strike a superior officer. It wasn't likely that Jack would report her for that, otherwise this whole mess would be revealed, but still, there was that chance. "You're lying."

"No, I'm not." He was just avoiding giving completely truthful answers. "Go home, Carter, and think about whether you really wanted me or whether you just liked the idea of someone safe, someone whom you knew, deep down, you couldn't have because it's against regulations."

"I already know--" Sam started indignantly.

Jack cut her off. "No, you don't know. Now, I may not be a shrink but I've noticed the way you've avoided relationships over the past seven years, always falling for those who can't be around. It's safer that way because then you still have your freedom as well. Anyway, I'm not the one for you. You deserve someone who will treat you better than I do."

"You treat me fine--"

"No, I don't."

Sam found that she didn't have anything to say to that simple statement. She hung her head, anger draining out of her. It was finally beginning to sink in that Jack meant what he said. He would never be in a relationship with her, had apparently never wanted that. Humiliated, she managed to utter, "I'll hand in my resignation in the morning."

"For crying out loud, Carter, I don't want you to leave," Jack said in exasperation. "You're an integral part of the team. However, if you really feel that we can't work together, that would probably be for the best." He wasn't about to give Daniel up and although Carter was smart, she was more replaceable than the linguist.

Well, at least that was something. "I'll think about it," Sam replied, unable to look at Jack. She had gambled a lot on this, on thinking that she was number one in his eyes, and had lost. She didn't know if she could live with facing that knowledge every day, and despite what Jack said, she believed he was in a relationship with Daniel - something else she would have to face. Without looking at him, she walked out of the house and down the path to her car.

Jack went into the living room and flopped down onto the couch. That hadn't gone well. Worst case, he had just lost his 2IC and she could ruin his career. Best case, she would go home, get her head on straight, and SG-1 would continue as usual. Reality was likely to be somewhere in between. Only time would tell.

***************

Sam went back to her house, put on her sparring gloves, and then descended into the basement to beat the stuffing out of the punching bag she'd had installed last year. Half an hour later, she stopped, panting and sweating from her exertions. She had visualised the punching bag as being either Jack or Daniel - the picture changed every few minutes as she got all the anger and hurt out of her system. She had felt that they had both betrayed her with their actions and words - or in Jack's case, his inactions. It would have been a simple matter after the zatarc testing three years ago to tell her that nothing would ever happen between them; then she wouldn't have wasted all this time wanting something she couldn't have.

Exhausted, Sam slumped down on the floor and leaned against the concrete wall. It felt cold against her warm body but she welcomed the chill, allowing it to help her focus her mind. She recalled Jack's words - that she always played it safe when it came to relationships - and remembered that Janet had once said a similar thing. Sam had to admit that she had been burnt more than once when it came to relationships, so there was nothing wrong with not wanting to repeat that experience, was there? Obviously there was though because for the past seven years - excluding the last couple of months - she had always gone home alone. There was never anyone waiting for her after a hard day at work and even though she was now with Pete, who was a lovely man, she didn't want to rush into living with him. Even if she did, she still wouldn't be able to completely talk about everything because he didn't work at the SGC. That was why she wanted someone that she could share with, who understood what she had gone through. Apart from Jack though, there was no-one at the Mountain whom she wanted that way.

That was why she envied Jack and Daniel, even when they had just been friends. They had spent much of their downtime together, free to talk about the mission or work if they wished with someone who understood. The only one Sam had spent any quality amount of downtime with was Janet, and that had now been snatched away from her. Who would she talk to when she needed to share things? Daniel had always listened to her whenever she had confided in him but now that would be awkward if not downright impossible. After all, if she were him, she wouldn't talk to her for a long time.

'Stop being an idiot! Of course he'll still talk to you. Daniel only bears grudges against System Lords and the NID.' Janet's voice sounded so clear in Sam's head that she actually looked around to see where her friend was. Then she realised that it couldn't have really been Janet, just her conscience using the doctor's voice. Her heart constricted at the thought of never hearing Janet's voice again, never hearing her friend laugh. There would be no more chats over hot chocolate in Janet's office, no more discussions of who was the hottest guy at the SGC - Sam had always put Jack at the top while Janet had gone for Daniel - no more 'girls only' shopping sprees. And most importantly, there would be no-one to give her a swift kick when she needed it. She would have to do that herself.

She had needed that swift kick before going to talk to Jack. She had been acting out of grief... okay, she had needed the reassurance that she was still loved. Her best friend had just died and Sam had wanted to know that something in her life was still constant. What a mistake that had been! Her world had been rocked again and she had lashed out, risking the friendship of two of the most important people in her life. Daniel would forgive her in time but Jack... he could bear a grudge for a very long time. Besides, if the two of them were together, and if he perceived that she had hurt Daniel, then he might never forgive her. Sam couldn't stand the thought of that; she didn't want Jack to hold her in the same contempt he reserved for his enemies. Besides, this thing with Daniel might not last and if she was to hold out any hope of snaring Jack in the end, she needed to regain the colonel's respect.

Therefore the first thing she would have to do was apologise to Daniel; she didn't want to lose him either. Much as she hated him for stealing Jack away, she needed to put that behind her and concentrate on becoming his friend again. She couldn't really blame him for falling for Jack, just for doing something about it. And she couldn't turn either of them in because she didn't want Jack to go to jail. So that left her with only one option if she wanted to remain in their lives and that was to move past it, at least until Jack came to his senses and turned to her.

'Or you could move on completely,' Janet's voice once again spoke in her mind. Sam unconsciously wiped away a tear at the sound... or it might have been at the thought of giving up on her dream of being with the colonel. She supposed it was only fair that she give her relationship with Pete a fair chance instead of waiting for something that might never happen.

That resolved, Sam got up and started punching the bag again. She had a feeling that this was going to become a regular activity for awhile to come.

***************

Some time later, Sam was interrupted by the doorbell. Throwing her gloves onto the floor and pushing her sweat-dampened hair back off her face, Sam went upstairs and opened the front door. "Pete?" she said in surprise.

Detective Pete Shanahan, who wasn't a resident of Colorado Springs but came down whenever he could to see Sam, stood there, a look of concern on his face. "Sam, you're home!"

"Why wouldn't I be?" she asked, forgetting that for the last few days, she hadn't been home much. Sam stood back to allow her boyfriend in.

"I've been trying to call you for three days," Pete explained as he entered the house and headed into the living room. "I left several messages for you."

"Oh. Sorry." Sam hadn't even thought to check her machine for messages; her mind had been on other matters. "I've been... busy."

Pete looked closely at Sam, seeing that something wasn't quite right. "What's wrong?" He stepped closer and was a little hurt when Sam moved away. "Sam?"

"Janet... she... she died three days ago."

Pete stepped forward again and took Sam into his arms. He had met Janet not long ago when he had become involved with the Sarah Gardner case and had been injured in the process. While staying at Cheyenne Mountain, he had learnt some of what Sam did for a living, and Doctor Fraiser had tended to his wound. "I'm sorry. How did it happen? Was it off-world?"

Sam nodded, holding him tightly. Pete's embrace felt nice - safe, even - and she regretted not calling him earlier. "It was a rescue mission. One of the men was badly injured and couldn't be moved. Janet went to help him but she... a Jaffa..." Sam closed her eyes, unable to finish the sentence. She should have been there protecting Janet instead of trusting Daniel to do it. Maybe then, Janet would still be alive.

Understanding, Pete simply held Sam in silence for a few minutes, not quite knowing what to say. Sam had always given the impression that she was very calm and cool in all situations so this was a little different to what he was used to. "Do you want to talk about it?" he eventually offered.

"No." The grief was still too raw, and their relationship was too new for her to feel comfortable crying on his shoulder. "Just hold me."

Pete did.

***************

Soon after Carter had left his house, Jack decided to do some ordinary chores before allowing himself to go around to Daniel's place. He mowed the lawn, washed the dishes, and even did some laundry before he gave in. He had always enjoyed Daniel's company but now that they had taken their relationship to another level, he was experiencing a sort of longing whenever the younger man wasn't with him. Of course, it could just be that he was worried about how Daniel was after the confrontation with Carter, which wasn't anything unusual. Even so, he should go and visit Daniel.

Halfway there, Jack had second thoughts. What if Daniel didn't want him there? What if Daniel thought that Jack was being too overprotective? Not that that last thought was entirely inaccurate but Jack didn't want his new lover to feel smothered.

He almost turned the car around but his need to see Daniel was stronger than his doubts. That was another thing though - what if Daniel thought he was being too needy? Jack missed being in a relationship sometimes, always having someone there even if you didn't want to talk to or do anything. He and Daniel already had that - which really should have clued him in a lot earlier - but since sex had entered the equation, Jack had found that he wanted more. Of being in Daniel's company, that was, not just the sex.

Jack's thoughts rumbled around in his mind until he pulled up in front of Daniel's house. It was strange to think of Daniel with a house since the linguist had spent the five years before his ascension living in an apartment but since his return, he was a subtly different person. More confidence was evident, more traces of that dry humour as well, and there seemed to be less weight on his shoulders, as if ascension had helped erase part of the guilt he felt over not being able to save loved ones.

Speaking of loved ones... Jack could see Daniel hovering at the front door, obviously having heard the car pull up. After getting out and locking the car door, Jack hurried over to his lover and ushered him inside.

"Did Sam go around to your place?" Daniel asked as he headed into the living room; his frown showed that he had been worried since Jack hadn't phoned.

"Yeah." Jack silently cursed himself for not calling Daniel after Carter had left; he should have remembered that the linguist would worry about him. "We talked things out. I think she finally understands that she and I are never going to happen."

Daniel nodded; he knew how hard that would have been for Jack to say. "How did she take it?" It wouldn't have been easy for Sam to have her dreams shattered like that so soon after losing Janet.

"Not well at first, there were a few accusations thrown around, but I think she was okay by the end," Jack summarised, making himself comfortable on Daniel's couch. When the younger man didn't immediately sit down next to him, Jack grabbed one of Daniel's hands and pulled him down. "How are you? Did Carter... you know?"

"Make lots of comments about how I was going to ruin your career because I'd be too busy flirting with you while we were under fire from Jaffa?" Daniel replied flippantly as he stared down at Jack's hand. His hand. And Jack's. Together. Entwined. Like lovers. Partners. A married couple. It was strange and yet, it wasn't. "Yes, she did."

Jack followed Daniel's gaze and saw that his lover was focused on their joined hands. Jack hadn't even thought about what he was doing when he had grabbed Daniel's hand - it had just been instinct. Such a sense of rightness, in fact, that he hadn't even noticed that he hadn't let go. "Are you uncomfortable with this?" he asked, moving the hand that held Daniel's slightly so that the linguist knew what he meant.

"No, I just..." Daniel brought his gaze back up to meet Jack's. "It's been a long time." He could still remember the last occasion clearly: it had been on Abydos, with Sha're, when Jack had come back to fetch him, and just before Daniel's world had been ripped apart again. Seven, nearly eight, years was a long time to go without this kind of affection.

"Me too." Hand-holding had never featured in Jack's brief relationships over the past seven or so years - well, except for that one time on Tollana with Teal'c but that had been necessary...

"Jack?"

"Daniel?"

Suddenly nervous, Daniel looked away, down at the joined hands again, then up at Jack. There was no easy way to ask this but the question had been stirring around in his brain ever since Sam had left. "Is this because of grief? Us, I mean? Was it just comfort for you or...?"

Jack understood comfort sex, had experienced in a few times in his life. What he had with Daniel wasn't that. "No, it wasn't. Isn't. Whatever. You mean more to me than that." Always had, if he admitted it to himself.

"I do?" The pre-ascension Daniel had never been entirely confident of his place in Jack's affections and part of that had continued over into his life now.

"Definitely." And Jack had plans to prove that on a regular basis. "I love you, Daniel. It's not a reaction to grief nor is it stress relief. Granted, the relationship part is going to take a lot of work from both of us but I'm prepared to put in the effort."

Daniel felt warmed by the declaration and he smiled at Jack. "Me too." He was so tired of being alone and he would do his best to keep Jack this time.

***************

The next morning, after talking for many hours with Pete, Sam decided that she needed to apologise as soon as possible. She knew that if she didn't, she would be transferred off SG-1 because Jack would want to protect his lover. Besides, she couldn't really fault Daniel for wanting Jack too; she could blame him but not fault him. Daniel wasn't to blame for Janet's death either, a fact that she had finally admitted to herself during the night. If anything, it could have been because of her bad decision to check on Jack during the fight with the Jaffa. Ultimately though - and Pete had helped her see this - the Jaffa who had fired the shot was responsible because he was the one who had chosen Janet to die. He could have easily have picked Daniel or the other SG soldier who had been nearby. It was just bad luck that it had been Janet and no amount of blame or second guessing could change that.

Sam decided to check Daniel's house first before going to Jack's place. Odds were both of them would be at the one place and she would only have to do one lot of apologies.

A few moments after she knocked, a rumpled-looking Daniel answered the door. He was wearing an old blue t-shirt, grey sweat pants, and held a mug of coffee in his right hand. If it hadn't been for the coffee, Sam would have thought he was straight out of bed. "Hi," she said tentatively, relying on Daniel's famous forgiveness to allow her the chance to say her piece.

"Hi." Daniel's response was wary; had Sam come back to continue the argument? No, he decided as he looked at her, she hadn't. If anything, Sam seemed very subdued.

"May I come in?" Sam asked.

Daniel nodded and stood back, allowing her into the house. As Sam headed down the hallway towards the living room, Daniel closed the door and then followed her, taking a big mouthful of coffee to help wake him up properly. He and Jack hadn't been awake for long, and this was only his second cup of his favourite liquid.

When Sam reached the living room, she turned to face Daniel. "I've come to apologise," she said straight out, not wanting to beat around the bush. "For everything I've said to you these past few days. I know you're not to blame for what happened to Janet and I shouldn't have said that you were. You were quite right about me - I shouldn't have abandoned my position and it was a stupid mistake that recruits make. I let my personal feelings for the colonel override my duties and it won't happen again. I understand that you and he are... together, and I don't intend on making any trouble over it."

Daniel listened solemnly throughout the speech and when Sam was finished, stared down at his coffee mug for a few long seconds. It surprised him that Sam had apologised, especially so soon after their argument yesterday. He wondered what had prompted the change of heart but knew he couldn't ask, not yet. "That's good to hear although you know I can't confirm or deny anything," he stated, finally looking back at Sam. Daniel knew that was as good as admitting that he and Jack were an item to someone who was determined to think that they were.

Sam nodded. "I know, and I won't tell anyone. I've overreacted to everything since Janet..." Sam swallowed hard, fighting back tears. "She was my best friend, Daniel, the only one I could really talk to, you know? About everything. And now, I don't have anyone." No, I'm not going to cry, I'm not...

Daniel put his coffee down and enveloped Sam in a big hug. He understood what she was going through; if he ever lost Jack, he imagined that he would feel that way too and would want someone to blame for it. Rubbing her back gently, Daniel remained silent; Sam wouldn't want to hear any platitudes, meaningless or heartfelt, right now. After awhile though, he asked, "What about Pete?"

Sam smiled against Daniel's shoulder. "I don't think he'd particularly want to listen to girl talk," she replied dryly.

"Oh. Well, maybe, eventually..." Daniel trailed off as Sam stepped back. "It's been a bad few days," he changed the subject back to the original topic.

"Yeah, that's an understatement," Sam chuckled. Then her expression turned serious. "I really am sorry, Daniel. Can we get through this?"

"Sure." Daniel understood what grief and hurt could cause. A movement caught his eye and he looked over at the doorway. Jack stood there, hands in his pockets, his expression guarded. "Sam came over to apologise," Daniel explained.

Sam turned to see her commanding officer and she wasn't sure she liked the neutral look on his face. She had to admit, she probably wasn't Jack's favourite person right now, and it was all her fault. Ignoring how good he looked in the faded jeans and light blue shirt, Sam said, "You were right, sir, and I was very, very wrong. I had no right to judge what you do with your life and I'm sorry for the accusations I made. I hope that we can still work together, all three of us, and that you two will be happy together." That was the hardest thing she had ever done - well, on a personal level, at least.

It was Jack's turn to remain silent for a while. Although his policy was to occasionally forget but not to forgive, he wasn't sure that he would be able to do either this time. Carter had made some pretty awful accusations and she had deliberately hurt Daniel; the latter was unforgivable, at least in the short term. "I hope so too, Carter." He was deliberately ambiguous as to which part he was referring to. "Danny?"

The linguist nodded, willing to work through this. "Are you alright, Sam?"

"No. But I will be," Sam answered honestly. With time, and Pete's help, she figured that she would one day be able to look at Jack and not think about what she had lost.

***************

Sam left soon after that, leaving the two men alone again. Daniel flopped onto the couch and rested his head against the back of it.

"That was brave," Jack commented as he sat next to his lover. He had to admire Carter for coming over and apologising, not to mention admitting that she was wrong.

"I know." And now that she was gone, all the things that he should have said came flooding into Daniel's mind. "How long do you think it will take?"

"For us to work as a team again? Hopefully not long," Jack replied, reaching out to hold Daniel's hand. He liked looking at those long, slender fingers, especially when they were gliding over his body. "But it could be awhile."

Daniel was absently aware of Jack's examination but his mind was focused on Sam. "She's lost so much this week that it's no wonder she got angry."

"That's one of the things I love about you," Jack commented as he kissed Daniel's palm. "Your compassion for those who hurt you. It's annoying... but admirable."

Daniel couldn't help but smile at Jack's words. "You'll pay for that later," he mock-threatened.

"I look forward to it."

***************

When the four members of SG-1 arrived for their next briefing a few days later - a week after the disastrous mission that resulted in Janet's death - the atmosphere was slightly strained. Jack and Daniel sat on one side of the table while Teal'c and Sam sat opposite. Initially, Sam wouldn't look at the men on the other side of the table but after General Hammond came into the room and started the briefing, she forgot everything else and focused on the mission which promised a wealth of abandoned technology.

After that, things slowly got back to a semblance of normality. Hammond, showing why he was a General, gave them an easy mission to start with so that they could get their trust back.

Yet the first mission was difficult. It was a simple soil test mission, leaving at 0600 hours, with a few very old ruins for Daniel to examine but Jack felt like he was in an impossible situation when he had to split the team: did he stay with Carter and have her uncomfortable with him, or go with Daniel and have her think it was because of their relationship? In the end, Teal'c - who probably knew everything that had happened - solved the problem. He simply announced that he would accompany Carter and that was that. Jack went off with Daniel and made himself supervise only; he wasn't going to screw this up by becoming distracted on duty and proving Carter right.

Once they were back at the SGC ten hours later, the team went through the usual post-mission protocols and ended up in the briefing room. Everything was going fine until the end of the briefing when Hammond asked to see Sam and Jack in his office.

Daniel and Jack shared a worried look; had Sam mentioned something to the general about their relationship or was it about something else entirely? Both knew that the investigation into Sam's actions off-world was close to concluding so they knew it could be about that too.

Sam's stomach was churning as she headed into the office ahead of Jack. She had the terrible feeling that this had something to do with her unprofessional behaviour under fire. After having plenty of time to think about it, she was appalled at her own actions, especially as she would have been the first to criticise anyone else abandoning their posts in such a situation. She stood tall, determined to face her punishment with dignity.

Jack entered, closed the door behind him, and then rested against the bench lining the wall. He knew without looking that Daniel and Teal'c hadn't left, that they were both waiting to find out what was going on. When he looked over at Hammond, he saw the general's serious face directed at Carter and knew exactly why they had been called in here.

"Major Carter, the investigation has found you guilty of abandoning your post while under fire. Due to your exemplary behaviour on other missions and your contribution to the Stargate program overall, you will not be demoted in rank nor transferred from the SGC. However," he stated before Sam could become too relieved, "a reprimand will be placed in your records and you will not be eligible for promotion for six months."

Sam's hopes had been raised at the first part but at the second, her heart sank. She had completed the requirements for promotion to Lieutenant Colonel and had hoped that the general would recommend her for a promotion soon, although there were outside criteria that would influence the approval. Now that had been denied her until at least next year. Still, her punishment could have been worse.

"You will also be temporarily transferred off SG-1 for a period of sixty days and you'll be on restricted duties for that time," Hammond added, well aware of the feelings Sam had for Jack. Hopefully, this would help put them in perspective. "SG-1 will be assigned a fourth member for that time."

Jack had mixed thoughts about that. It wouldn't do Carter any harm to be away from him and Daniel for awhile but Jack didn't like the thought of having to deal with a new scientist for that amount of time. There was a reason SG-1 worked and he hated messing with it.

Sam nodded, accepting her punishment. It would be hard not to travel off-world for two months but at least she wasn't being transferred off the team.

"I trust that an incident like this won't happen again?" Hammond asked of Sam. He knew that she was an excellent officer with one main fault - her feelings for Jack. Up until now, this hadn't had negative effects on performing her duties.

"No, sir, it won't." Now that Sam knew the truth, she would make sure that she never crossed that boundary again. However, if it were Daniel, she might consider it because he was like family even though things were going to be awkward for awhile.

Jack caught the look Hammond sent him and subtly nodded, confirming Carter's statement. She would behave more professionally from now on and so would he. Jack considered himself lucky that he hadn't faced more severe disciplinary action over the years because of his disregard of some rules.

"Good. Dismissed, Major." Hammond wanted to talk to his second-in-command privately.

Sam saluted, then spun on one heel and exited the door that would allow her to avoid her other team-mates. She needed some time to reflect on her punishment by herself.

"Colonel?"

Jack heard the unasked question in that one word. "We've talked, General. Everything's been straightened out."

Hammond was glad about that although he knew better than to assume things would get back to normal straight away. "Make sure it doesn't happen again." He gave Jack a knowing look.

"Yes, sir." Jack knew that the general wouldn't be so lenient next time, especially if he and Daniel were caught breaching the fraternisation rules. Therefore, he would have to make extra careful that they weren't caught.

***************

Daniel saw Sam going out the other way and decided that he better not be the one to go after her. He looked at Teal'c, who inclined his head and slowly left the briefing room, leaving Daniel to wait for Jack. A minute later, the colonel came out and silently gestured with a tilt of his head for Daniel to follow him. Together they went through the corridors and up the elevator to Jack's office.

"What happened?" Daniel inquired as soon as the door shut behind him.

"Carter's been given restricted duties for two months," Jack reported, leaving out the information to do with promotions; Carter would tell Daniel if she wanted him to know. "Meaning we'll have a temporary fourth during that time."

"Oh. Well, that's good, isn't it?" Daniel asked, knowing some but not all of the possible outcomes to the investigation. "I mean, she's still on SG-1 and a major."

"Yeah," Jack agreed, sitting down at his desk and staring at the paperwork. He could swear that the mountain of papers grew larger each time he was out of the room. "Could have been worse."

"Teal'c's gone to make sure she's okay," Daniel informed his lover as he took a seat on the other side of the desk. "How do you think she'll take it?"

"Better than she would have a few days ago..." Jack replied, thinking back to the expression on Carter's face as she had received the news.

"But it still hurt," Daniel completed the sentence, nodding knowingly. He knew what it was like to have his life's course altered, sometimes subtly and other times, quite dramatically.

"She'll get through it," Jack said confidently. If Carter didn't, then she wasn't the officer he thought she was. "She just needed this to get her back on track."

"Because you weren't going to," Daniel stated softly, not looking at Jack as he spoke. At his partner's silence, he looked up. "Well, you weren't going to disillusion her, were you?"

Jack knew Daniel already knew what his answer would be so he said nothing to that. Instead, he changed the subject. "I'd better sort out Carter's replacement."

Daniel smiled to himself, seeing through Jack's tactic. Still, he went along with it. "I'd better get back to the translations then. Don't work too hard," he cautioned as he headed out the door. "You don't want to tire yourself out."

"Ha-ha," Jack muttered as he turned his computer on; Daniel was already out of earshot. Just for that, when they got home, he would show the linguist how energetic he could be - all night long.

***************

Teal'c instinctively knew that Sam would head for her lab so he was surprised when she did not. Instead, she went to the gym. The look on her face when Teal'c said her name indicated that he shouldn't interrupt this so he didn't. In the gym, he watched silently as she attacked the punching bag hard for ten solid minutes. Then, with calmer body language, Sam stopped and turned to face her friend. "I had to get that out of my system," she explained.

"It did not go well?" he inquired.

"No, it didn't." Sam slicked her sweat-dampened hair back and said, "I need a shower. Give me fifteen minutes. I'll meet you in your quarters?" There was no avoiding telling Teal'c about what had happened given that he was already involved in the whole mess. She knew Jack would tell Daniel about her punishment, she wouldn't have to worry about that, but she needed to talk it over with someone and Teal'c had never judged her this past week or so.

Inclining his head, Teal'c agreed to meet her at that time. He knew that she would not run away from this.

Sam quickly headed for the locker room, showered and dressed, and was back at Teal'c's quarters within the allotted time. Teal'c was already there waiting for her, his expression inscrutable as he sat surrounded by lit candles. She shut the door behind her and joined him on the floor. "I've been put on restricted duties for two months," she informed him, deciding not to beat around the bush. "And General Hammond won't be putting me in for a promotion any time soon. But at least it's not worse."

"Indeed." Teal'c had read the military regulations upon his arrival on Earth nearly eight years ago and still remembered them clearly. At the time, he had thought the punishments weak but over time, he had seen how the soldiers reacted to them, especially the more ambitious ones. Sam fell into this category and Teal'c was aware of how much she craved praise for her actions - almost the exact opposite of Daniel Jackson, who always seemed surprised and embarrassed at any praise he received.

"I'm okay with it... now," Sam qualified. She hadn't liked the decision, hence her workout with the punching bag, but she had understood the reasons behind it. Jack couldn't lead SG-1 forever and she had to be ready to step up to command the team in his absence. Not that Teal'c and Daniel were ever technically 'commanded' but it was the principle that counted. If she was to be the leader, she had to show that she could lead, not make stupid rookie mistakes, and not let her feelings get in the way of what had to be done - that was something every commanding officer had to be able to do. "And I'll be fine about the colonel and Daniel too, just... not yet."

"Do you wish to speak about them?" Teal'c offered, knowing how upset she had been only days ago at the relationship between the two men.

Sam shook her head. This was something that she had to work through herself.

***************

Daniel didn't want to go home until he had talked with Sam. He wasn't sure if she would want to speak with him though. Still, he had to try. So it was just after six in the afternoon when he found Sam in her lab. "Hi," he said cautiously.

Sam looked up at the greeting. After kel'no'reeming with Teal'c for a short time, she had felt like facing the world again and had gone back to work. Since then, she had been in her lab working on an experiment. She glanced at her watch and was mildly surprised to see that only an hour had gone past. "Hey, you heading home?" she asked casually.

"In a few minutes. You?" Daniel ventured further into the lab, encouraged by the lack of hostility.

"In about an hour," Sam replied; she had a date with Pete at eight. "So, did the colonel tell you?"

"About the restriction thing? Yes, he did," Daniel stated. "Are you--?"

Sam held up one finger in a gesture reminiscent of the archaeologist, cutting him off. "Don't ask. I'm okay. I've been better but I'm okay. I just don't want to discuss it at the moment."

Daniel nodded, understanding that. "Okay," he echoed. "If you ever need to talk..." he left the invitation open-ended.

"I'll let you know." Sam didn't think she would be able to talk to Daniel about any of these events for a very long time, if at all, but he would still be her friend. She accepted the tentative hug Daniel gave her, giving him one in return, and then watched him leave. Yes, they could still be friends. That, at least, was something that would come out of all this.

***************

"So, how's Carter?" Jack asked later as he and Daniel rested on the sofa after their dinner. He had one arm around his lover's shoulders, and Daniel was nestled against his side.

"She says she's okay," Daniel reported, relaxing into the embrace. One of the best things about his new relationship with Jack was the closeness in times such as this. Someone to cuddle with - it was nice.

"Which means that she's not but she will be," Jack summarised; Daniel had the same thing going with the word 'fine'. "We all will be."

"Yeah." Janet's death would still hurt, as would Sam's unguarded words afterwards, but in time, the pain would lessen or even disappear. Though their lives had been shattered by recent events, SG-1 would rebuild their friendships, recover their balance, get their rhythm back - and all those other clichés - in time. And he and Jack would help each other through it. As friends, as lovers and as partners. Life would go on. "We will be."

~~~~~~
Notes:
~~~~~~
There may be some who disagree with the punishment Sam receives. According to military rules of justice that I researched and was advised upon, a suitable punishment would include an official reprimand plus restriction of duties for 60 days. Officers cannot be demoted by the General according to rules of Non-Judicial Punishment. Rules of fraternization also state that the behaviour can be dealt with a delay of being on the promotion list. Also, bear in mind that this isn't an alternate reality story, so Sam's punishment had to fit into the canon of the show. 'Heroes' took place near the end of season seven, and Sam was promoted to LtColonel at the start of season eight, therefore a delay of promotion of over six months simply didn't fit.
The emotional impact of her punishment would be quite severe. This is someone who has broken the rules several times and got away with little or no consequences, so the shock and embarrassment of being penalised for her actions now would take an emotional toll.