Snapshots 1

Reveille

by Sistine

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/ass/sistine/snapshots01.php
Summary: Events on PX3-888 brings things to the fore between Jack and Daniel

JACK

"Cha-ka."

"What'd it say?" I ask Daniel, keeping my rifle ready just in case the Unas decide to come back.

"I've no idea," the linguist admits, "but I think I've been invited to come back one day and find out."

That's our Daniel, the only one among us who would've been able to make friends with something that wanted to kill him. I don't know how he does it. "Yeah, well, that might have to wait a little. You alright?" I ask, trying to take in his appearance.

"I'm fine," comes the ritual response.

He's got a cut on one cheek, presumably courtesy of the Unas who just walked out of here, and his wrists look a little chafed from the ropes around them. Probably hungry and dehydrated, not to mention tired, as well as some sore muscles from being dragged around the planet. Not that Daniel would ever admit to that though.

"O'Neill, I recommend that we leave these caves immediately." Teal'c was watching where the Unas had all left just in case any of them came back.

"Good idea. Teal'c, take point." I move to the back of the group and raise my P-90 in readiness.

"Uh, Jack," Daniel said from in front of me. "What about these?" He holds his hands up in front of my face so I can see the rope.

"When we get outside, Daniel." Relief makes my voice a little sharper than it should be. I am so glad we found him relatively unharmed. When Rothman had brought the news that an Unas had taken Daniel, I was both terrified and mad. Terrified because Daniel was in danger, and mad because SG-11 hadn't looked after my archaeologist.

Our archaeologist. I meant our archaeologist.

'No, you didn't. You meant yours.'

'No, I didn't.'

'Yes, you did. A classic Freudian slip of the tongue. You want Daniel to be yours, admit it.'

'No.'

"Why?"

It takes me a moment to figure out just what Daniel is asking. He can't read my thoughts, I remind myself. "Because."

"Because why?"

"Dan-iel," I warn, letting him know that I don't really want to be discussing this now while we're trying to find our way out of hostile territory.

Daniel subsides and doesn't say anything until we get out of the caves. One look at his face in the sunlight and I can see why. He looks exhausted and a lot of his remaining energy is probably going towards keeping him upright. "Now?" he asks quietly, holding his wrists out.

I start to get my knife out but Teal'c stops me. Surprised, I ask him what's up.

Instead of answering me, he asks, "DanielJackson, did you go near the water while you have been on this planet?"

I clue in to what he's implying and my heart freezes at the thought of Daniel being a Goa'uld. Could he be one? Please, don't let him be one.

"Just once." At Teal'c's look, he elaborated. "I was trying to escape so I went for a bit of a swim. Why?"

Teal'c says nothing, just looks at me. Yeah, big guy, I know what that means. Fortunately I don't have to explain it though.

"Did you see any symbiotes?" Carter asks.

"One but Chaka got it and cooked it for dinner." Daniel still seems a little puzzled. Normally he would've clued in about now but I guess that after all he's been through, his brain hasn't caught up yet.

"Chaka? That the Unas that dragged you around for fun?"

"Yes. The word I heard him use most often was Chaka, so I'm guessing that could be a name."

Right. "It ate the Goa'uld?" Sort of an irony there.

"Yeah. He offered me the head but I didn't really want to try it." His expression speaks volumes about the idea.

Roast Goa'uld - not your ordinary meal but definitely one I've been advocating for years now. Although personally, I wouldn't eat them. "Wise choice."

"Thank-you. Now can someone please tell me why..." Daniel trails off as he finally clues in to the reason for our questions. "I'm not a Goa'uld."

"How can you be certain, DanielJackson?"

"Because I only saw the one and Chaka killed it."

That theory doesn't hold water, Daniel, if you'll pardon the expression. "Well, if you were a Goa'uld, of course you'd say that," I point out, looking for any hint at all, one way or the other, in his features. I can't see anything but I do notice what beautiful eyes he has...

"Jack... please?" Daniel's eyes, which I'm conveniently admiring, beg me to believe he's not a Goa'uld. I'm torn between the sensible thing to do, which is keep him tied up just in case, and the trusting thing, which is to release him and hope he's not a host.

I can feel three pairs of eyes on me waiting for my decision. And as much as the rational part of me says to leave the ropes on, I can't do that to Daniel. He's had a bad couple of days and to leave him like this... I just can't do that. I'll take my chances with the Goa'uld.

I cut through the rope, setting Daniel free. He gives me a grateful look as I do so, making my heart beat a little faster. I love it when Daniel looks at me like that, usually because it means that I've done something to please him. It makes me feel soooo good. Since that's been fairly rare recently - me pleasing him and making him smile - it's good to see the smile now. I've missed it.

"Thank-you," he says, going to rub his wrists but I grab hold of them - well, just above them - and hold them still. He shoots me a puzzled look.

"Don't rub them. Carter!" I say over my shoulder, "Get the bandages." I slowly let go of his wrists, not wanting to break contact but not wanting anyone to see how much I need to touch him right now. Even I didn't realise how much until I'd grabbed his arms. Well, given that recently I've wanted to touch him a lot, this really shouldn't come as a surprise to me.

I step back to allow Carter to get close enough to Daniel to clean and bandage his wrists. She shoots me a suspicious look when I don't move too far away. I shrug. I'm overprotective - so sue me. She and Teal'c are exactly the same when it comes to Daniel, so she can't call me on it.

"I'm fine," Daniel protests as Carter indicates for him to sit down. He does so reluctantly, not wanting to cause too much of a fuss. None of us reply to this. When Daniel says he's fine, that usually means he doesn't want to be any trouble or that he's not going to tell us what's wrong.

While Carter does the first aid, I get out a couple of ration bars and a flask of water. He's going to need energy for the long walk back to the gate. "Eat up," I order, handing them over to him when Carter has finished.

"Jack, I don't..."

"When did you last eat?" I interrupt.

"Uh..." Daniel avoids my eyes.

"Exactly." He mustn't have had anything since he was taken captive. "That's why you're eating those. We're not going anywhere until you do."

Daniel looks at me and sees that I mean it, so he unwraps the bars and starts eating them. Satisfied, I turn my attention to back to Teal'c, who is not a happy camper. Inclining my head to the left, I indicate to Teal'c that we should have a talk. Out of earshot of the others, I ask, "What's up?"

"You should not have released DanielJackson," he states. His whole stance indicates his displeasure at my decision.

"Maybe not," I reply. How could I explain my reasoning to Teal'c? 'I love him and therefore don't want to see him remain tied up?'

I love him?

Wait a minute, where did that come from?

'Where do you think?'

'Don't you ever shut up?'

'Not until you listen to me.'

Why did that sound familiar? I put aside the internal conversation and form a reply to Teal'c. "Call it a gut instinct but I don't think Daniel's a Goa'uld."

Teal'c's raised eyebrow indicates what he thinks of my reason but simply replies, "I will keep watch over DanielJackson."

"Thanks, T." I know he doesn't mean it the way I'll watch over Daniel. Teal'c might be able to recognise the signs before we do but I'm certainly hoping there's nothing to see.

We head back to the others. Daniel's finishing off the second ration bar and Carter's watching him like a hawk, making sure he eats everything no matter how long it takes. I don't know how Daniel puts up with us sometimes, the way we treat him as if he's a child. Most of the time he puts up with it but there's been a couple of occasions where he's called us on it. Like Hadante and not clueing him in to what can happen to 'people like him' in prison. Don't know who told him - Ferretti making a joke out of it or something - but the fallout from that was spectacular.

"Can we go now?" Daniel asks after taking a long drink of water.

"What's your hurry?" The sooner we get off this planet the better in my opinion but it's not like Daniel to voice such an opinion.

"We're not all that far from the cave, Jack, so the Unas wouldn't have very far to come looking for us, would they?"

Now, you see, this is why it's a bad thing to be emotionally connected with one's teammates because during a rescue like this, you're so glad to see them alive that you ignore minor details like proximity to the bad guys. Good to know he's been paying attention to details like that though. "Be nice, Daniel," I warn and look pointedly at his bandaged wrists. If he annoys me too much, I can easily tie him back up again.

Smart kid that he is, he gets my meaning and subsides. Like me, his sarcastic side comes out to play when he's injured to stop the fussing and get people annoyed. But unlike me, he generally knows when to shut up.

Teal'c takes point again because he's the one who can find our way back again. We make it a fair way back to the gate before I call a halt, mainly because Daniel looks like he can't walk any further, even with the frequent rests we've had. And this time we'll stay well clear of the water.

"I'll take first watch," I announce, finding a nice log to sit on. Daniel lies down virtually at my feet, exhausted but trying not to show it. I accept the blanket from Teal'c and lay it over Daniel.

"What, no bedtime story?" he complains as I tuck him in but exhaustion robs the remark of most of its bite.

"Only if you're good," I reply as I sit back on the log.

Daniel rolls over to face me, undoing all my good work. He manages to look at me solemnly and say, "Thanks, Jack," before his eyes close and his breathing evens out.

I know he wasn't talking about tucking him in; he was thanking me for saving him again, for finding him and not leaving him to be sacrificed by a bunch of Unas. I don't know exactly what's been going through his mind the past couple of days but at least some of his thoughts would have been 'Jack will find me'. He has such faith in me, in my ability to do things like save Sha'uri - it's scary sometimes and very hard to live up to. It's amazing that he still has that level of trust - well, at least I think he does - after all the times I've let him down.

Carter sits beside me, watching Daniel sleep. She's not sitting too close though. After the zanex-thing, we had a talk about the feelings that were revealed and decided that a personal relationship would be disastrous. There was also the fact that I didn't love her the way she wanted me to. I now have an inkling why that is, although I don't really want to admit it. I can't admit it.

There's still about an hour of daylight left so I can get a good look at the cut on Daniel's face. Given the amount of blood, it's a wide cut but shallow. Carter sees me looking at it. "The Unas," she states.

"Huh?"

"The blood in the cave. It had to have come from Daniel and that's the most obvious place."

"That we can see," I add darkly. "God knows how many cuts and bruises he's got hidden under his clothes." Wonder if he'll let me see... stop that! Don't even go there! He's hurt; this is not the time.

"Janet will find out tomorrow," Carter says from experience.

I don't envy Daniel that. I've been on the receiving end of Janet's examinations plenty of times and it isn't a pleasant experience. "Yeah." I go back to staring at Daniel's face. Even in sleep there are slight pain lines around his eyes and mouth, a tightness that indicates that there must be a lot of hidden bruises and sore muscles. He's going to be very stiff and sore when he wakes up tomorrow.

Perceptive girl that she is, Carter must have realised that I wasn't in a talking mood because she abruptly stood up, saying, "Goodnight, colonel."

"'Night, Carter." I'm aware of her going over to her makeshift bed but I don't take my eyes off Daniel. At the moment I don't care what kind of conclusions she's drawing from this but I don't want to let Daniel out of my sight. We came too close to losing him again and I need to make sure he's alright. That's part of who I am, and my kids understand that.

Speaking of kids, Daniel looks so young and vulnerable at the moment. I swear that sometimes it's really hard to believe that he's thirty-five because he doesn't look it. If he didn't look like that, not to mention project al that passion, I wouldn't have half so many grey hairs trying to keep the predators of the universe from messing with him. The other half would still be there though because it wouldn't stop Daniel scaring me half to death.

My three hour watch goes very quickly, watching for Unas and watching Daniel sleep. A couple of times he's muttered something as if he's trying to talk to the Unas or something but no nightmares so far. Considering he learnt to communicate with it, maybe he didn't have an extremely bad time of it. As Daniel drifted off into deep sleep too, the pain in his face relaxed. As I noted before, he's going to be very sore tomorrow but at least he's getting some sleep tonight.

Standing up slowly - getting old here - I go over and wake Carter for her watch. Years of training bring her wide awake straight away. As she gets up, I get my blanket and lie down next to Daniel. Almost as if he knows I'm there, he turns over and lays one arm across my chest, trying to subconsciously connect with someone now he's free again.

Carter's amused eyes meet mine as I try to decide how embarrassed I should be that Daniel's decided I should be his teddy bear. "Something you're not telling us, sir?" she jokes.

"Something Daniel's not telling us, more likely," I reply as I reluctantly move his arm gently off my chest. There must be a spring in there though because it immediately returns, followed closely by the rest of him, his body seeking heat, and his head lying next to my shoulder. "Not a word," I warn her as I see her trying to hide a smile.

She throws me a salute and then she looks away, giving us some privacy. Giving Daniel some privacy. Daniel will be embarrassed enough when he wakes up and sees that he snuggled up to me while he was sleeping, let along if he knows that someone saw him doing it. Meanwhile, I'm kinda liking this. If I'm honest with myself, this has featured a lot in my dreams recently, usually after...

I've really got to stop thinking about this. Granted it's very hard given the current proximity of said linguist whose warm breath is tickling my neck; if he was any closer, he'd be on top of me. A nice image but not one I need right now. It's hard enough keeping my hands to myself without images of a naked Daniel sprawled on top of me flashing through my brain. I can't move my right hand anyway as it's pinned to my side by the sleeping archaeologist. And speaking of hands, Daniel's is currently starting to wander downwards, which is not a good idea. Gently, I catch the arm above the bandages and move it back up across my chest, pinning it lightly with my left hand. Daniel responds by snuggling even closer, his face only inches from mine, as I discover when I turn my head that way. It's a little disconcerting to see Daniel up this close... well, as much as I can see it thanks to the moonlight. Even this close he's beautiful.

'Get a grip, O'Neill! Your best friend has been through a terrible ordeal and you're lying here thinking about his looks?'

'I thought you wanted me to do that!'

'Not right now. He's too vulnerable.'

'Tell me about it.'

'Not to mention snuggled up to you like the heroine in a movie.'

'Great. Now I'm going to be picturing Daniel in a dress all night.'

'Better than the alternative. Now, get some sleep.'

I look back at Daniel, who's lips have parted slightly to help him breathe. He looks... kissable. Which is what I want to do, have wanted to for months if I admit the truth, but I'm not going to. I'm not going to stuff up his life, especially when I can't even admit to myself what it is that I really want from him. I manouver my right arm underneath him and wrap it around his back. Nothing to say that I can't enjoy this while it lasts though.

------------

DANIEL

This pillow is nice and comfortable. Fairly big too. When did I buy it? I don't remember doing that recently...

I freeze as the pillow moves. I have a dreadful feeling that if I open my eyes, I'm going to get embarrassed, especially when I remember where I am and recent events. Who I'm with. Oh boy. I'm lying on someone; well, cuddled up to someone actually. The pillow is smooth, so it can't be Sam, and unfortunately I don't think it's Teal'c. So that leaves...

"'Mornin', sleepyhead." Jack grins at me as my eyes fly open, his face only a few inches from mine but higher up given that my head was on his chest, and I've really got to stop babbling. His hand, burning through my clothes, is gently rubbing up and down my back, making it hard to speak.

"Jack?" Great opening line, Daniel, really great.

"How are you feeling?" He looks at me with genuine concern in those beautiful brown eyes of his. How long have I been waiting to see that expression again?

Not wanting Jack to see the look in my eyes, I drop my gaze, conveniently looking at his - unfortunately clothed - chest, and try to sit up. "I'm fi..." Yeeow, that hurts! All my muscles protested as one when I tried to move.

"Yeah, I can see that," Jack commented as he watched my face screw up in pain. Surprisingly, he hasn't moved away yet as I thought he would've. I mean, I didn't exactly think I was going to wake up in Jack's arms and I'm sure the thought's never crossed his mind. Pretty sure, at least. Mmm, that feels good, Jack, don't stop...

His hand stills on my back.. "You're gonna have to get up, Danny, or my arm's gonna drop off."

His arm's going to...? Oh. "Sorry." I manage to raise myself high enough for Jack to free his arm - how did it get there anyway? - and then I lie back down. Staying right here sounds pretty good at the moment.

Rolling onto my back, I scan the area to see how many people saw me and Jack like that. No-one's in sight but I'm pretty sure Sam and Teal'c would've seen it. This is so embarrassing.

Jack sits up next to me with an ease I'm jealous of. "When I said 'up', Daniel, I meant vertical not horizontal."

His grin tells me he's teasing. I don't get it - he's not in the least embarrassed that I used him as a pillow, or that we appeared to have spent the night in each others' arms. Why? I am, and I'm in love with him. Maybe that has something to do with it, especially considering my body's reaction to his closeness. "I'm getting there," my mouth utters before I think about what I'm saying.

The double meaning apparently escapes Jack because he just laughs softly and pats me on the arm. "Sure you are," he says as he stands up. "Carter! Breakfast ready?"

Sam appears from behind me. "Almost, sir. Teal'c burnt some of it though."

"Damn, no roast Goa'uld." Another grin sent my way.

"Not even funny, Jack." I try not to grin at the weak joke. How can my facial muscles be sore? It's not like I was dragged around on my face.. oh, wait a minute. Chaka did slam my face into the cave the other day. That might explain it. I'd try to touch it to see but I don't think I can move my arms.

"I agree," Sam stated, coming around to crouch beside me. "How do you feel?"

I wish people would stop asking me that! "Fine. I'm just resting."

"Daniel-speak for it hurts like hell," Jack translated from up above. He also crouches down beside me and holds out a cup of something that smells suspiciously like coffee. "Think you can sit up?"

For coffee, anything. Gritting my teeth, I use my arms to push myself into a sitting position. Spasms of pain shoot through my body, especially in my wrists which I'd forgotten were bandaged. Getting my breathing back under control while trying not to show how much agony I'm in, I manage to ask, "Happy now?" Embarrassment and pain always tend to bring out my waspish side.

"Marginally." Jack starts to hand the coffee over and then looks at my bandaged wrists. "Can you hold this okay?"

I look at my wrists. Sam did a very thorough job of bandaging them, including my hands as well. Holding the cup might be a bit difficult.

Jack obviously comes to the same conclusion because he hands the cup over to Sam and then starts unwrapping the bandages. "We need to check for infection anyway," he explains.

There has to be a reason Jack is being so nice. Not that he's not been nice but this just seems to be a new level for him. He even continues to hold my hands as he inspects my wrists, gently turning them over to check both sides. "They look okay. Drink up and then Carter'll wrap them up again." He stands abruptly, his face a mask, and walks away.

I watch him for a few seconds then turn to Sam, surprise written over both our faces. "What was that about?"

Sam shakes her head. "I have no idea. Here, drink up."

Gingerly I take the cup and sip it slowly. I have several ideas about what Jack might've been thinking, the most positive of which is that seeing my wrists brought back memories of yesterday's events and that I almost died again... um, that's positive? Anyway, the next would be that he realised he was showing too much concern for me in front of Sam; I'm not sure what that implies. Lastly - and this is purely fantasy - he's finally realised he has feelings for me and doesn't know what to do about them. It would be nice if Jack was in love with me too but I doubt that's ever going to happen. I'm his best friend, the civilian he has to look out for. To ask him to be anything more is just wishful thinking.

I've spent the last two and a half years knowing I'm in love with Jack. It's been very hard at times, knowing but not being able to do anything about it. As far as I can tell, he's never even looked at me with anything more than brotherly affection. In fact, as far as I know, he's straight, which makes the possibility of him falling in love with me impossible. I probably wouldn't be his type anyway - an average-looking geek who's as unmilitary as they come. Sometimes I'm surprised we're friends in the first place. If it hadn't been for the Stargate, neither of us would've looked twice at the other.

I wonder how Sam would react if she knew. Probably much the same way I reacted when I heard the rumours after the zatarc tests. Badly. Mind you, she at least knows that Jack cares a lot about her - loves her - so my feelings might not matter so much. Jack's are the ones that count.

Speaking of Jack, he's staying well away from me, standing over the other side of the clearing with Teal'c. Sam's sneaking glances at him every once in a while, like me, but Jack's not looking over here. Avoiding me by the looks of it; he'd hardly be avoiding Sam. The question is why.

The coffee is deliciously warm and surprisingly, one of my favourite blends. Now I know for a fact that I didn't bring it with me when I came to the planet so that means someone from SG-1 had to have brought it in anticipation of me still being alive. A nice thought.

Sam interrupts my thoughts. "Better?"

"A little. Nice touch," I comment, indicating the coffee by waving it a little.

"The colonel's idea," she admits. "He thought you might need it when we found you." She gently strokes my upper arm, being careful not to press too hard.

'He thought you might need it when we found you.' No 'if you were alive' or 'if we found you', just 'when'. No doubts, no accepting that they were going to come home without me. The warm feeling in my stomach isn't caused entirely by the coffee. And with Jack brining coffee along - for me - that's got to indicate that he cares, right? "Good idea."

"I occasionally have one," Jack sneaks up behind me and announces. I only took my eyes off him for a few seconds and still he managed to get over here without me knowing. How does he do that? "Nearly ready to go, Daniel?"

"In a minute, Jack," I protest, wanting to savour my coffee. Does he realise how long it's been since I've had a cup?

"Now, Daniel. We've still got a long walk back to the gate and I want to get there before dark."

"Well, since you asked so nicely..." I drink the rest of the coffee quickly and hold out my wrists for Sam to bandage.

Jack just looks vaguely amused at my sarcasm and pats me on the top of my head; the only part of me that isn't currently hurting. "Good boy." He was away again and starts to gather out stuff up.

My glare goes unnoticed by him; sometimes, I swear I don't know what I see in him. 'Good boy'?

Just before we head off, and after Sam has helped me to stand up, I ask about the rest of SG-11. My question meets with silence, none of them wanting to answer it, which pretty much gives me the answer. "They're dead, aren't they?" Robert, Loader, Hawkins... all of them.

"We think so," Jack replies, not meeting my eyes. "Loader died at the site. Hawkins and Rothman..." He can't finish that sentence.

"They were Goa'ulds," Teal'c finishes for him.

Goa'uld's? That's impossible. Okay, maybe not impossible but definitely unbelievable. "You're kidding?"

"Sorry, Daniel," Sam apologises.

"How?"

"We think they went near the water," Sam explains.

"And that's why you think that I might be a Goa'uld." It wasn't hard to join the dots. "Hawkins always did our water run." He could've been a Goa'uld the whole time.

"What about Rothman?" Jack asks, staring intently at my face, whether because the blood had drained from it or searching for signs of Goa'ulding, I don't know. There's a slight edge to his voice that puts me on alert though.

"He stayed at the dig site the whole time." At least, I think he did. I suddenly realise what they're not telling me. Staring incredulously at Jack, I ask, "You killed them, didn't you?" I shift my gaze to the others.

Jack shifts uncomfortably and Sam looks at the ground. Only Teal'c meets my gaze. "They gave us no choice, DanielJackson."

Robert died for being a Goa'uld? If it wasn't going to hurt a lot, I would've sunk to the ground in shock. He had a wife, a family... he didn't deserve to die like that.

Jack comes over, puts an arm around my waist and my arm across his shoulders. "Come on, Daniel, let's go," he says softly, sympathy evident in his words and actions. Although I know I shouldn't, I accept the help, telling myself that it's only until my muscles loosen up a little bit. But I like the feeling of Jack being this close, of showing concern for me, even though part of me knows this is just so we can get home quickly. So I'll enjoy this while I can.

-----------

JANET

"Doc!"

I hear Colonel O'Neill's bellow clearly as I enter the gate room. Three members of SG-1 look tired, one extremely so, while Teal'c looks like he's been for a walk around the block. But my main focus is on Daniel. His wrists are bandaged, he has a cut on one cheek, and he's as pale as anything. He's also being supported by the colonel, who's taking his burden seriously and not letting go even when I reach them. "How is he?" I ask the colonel.

"I'm fine," Daniel replies cuttingly, his voice edged with pain which is reflected in his face. He is obviously not fine.

"Sore muscles, leg cramps, a little hungry and thirsty, and very tired," the colonel lists for me as we guide Daniel down the ramp and onto the trolley.

"Nothing serious?" I gently push Daniel down as he tries to protest that he can walk.

"Not as far as we could tell," Sam replied, taking her eyes briefly off Daniel to look at me. Her expression tells me that there is something she's not saying. "But..."

"You know what lousy medics we are," Jack cuts in, shooting Sam a look which I have no trouble in deciphering. SG-1 is hiding something. "Check him out, doc. Thoroughly," he emphasises the last word as he casually reaches up to rub his neck.

"I always do, colonel," I reply before I get his meaning. Check to see if Daniel's Daniel. I know what happened to Rothman and Hawkins - Griff had told me while I patched him up in the infirmary. I look at Daniel, who has his eyes closed trying to block out the pain. He doesn't look like he's a host but we've been fooled before. "I'll let you know," I say softly to the colonel.

"Thanks," he replies equally as softly, then in a louder voice, "I suppose you're going to want the rest of us there too."

"When you've had a shower, sir." The smell isn't too bad but if I have to examine them all, I'd prefer to do it without holding my breath. With this parting shot, I follow the trolley down to the infirmary, checking Daniel out on the way.

I've barely finished my examination of Daniel when I hear the colonel's voice outside the curtains. Making sure that Daniel is sleeping okay, I step out from behind the curtains and confront his anxious teammate.

"Well, doc?"

"The MRI scan confirms he is not a Goa'uld."

"Yes!" The colonel punches the air. "I knew it."

I don't ask how. He looks very relieved, much as I was when I saw the scan results. "His injuries are minor, just cuts and bruises, and a lot of abused muscles. He's also a little dehydrated so I've put him on a drip."

"That's all?"

"That's all," I confirm. "I'm keeping him here overnight for observation and then he'll be free to go home so long as someone stays with him for a couple of days to make sure he doesn't overdo things." Three guesses as to who will volunteer.

"I will."

Bingo! I've never known the colonel not to take care of Daniel after an infirmary stay. In fact, if it had been a couple of months ago, I would've said that the colonel and Daniel were involved although I've no physical evidence to back that up. Now, after his confession in Anise's lie-detector, I'm not so sure. Maybe they really are just best friends. Daniel does tend to bring out the nurturing instincts of just about everyone on the base, the general included. "He's all yours then, colonel. Now, if you wouldn't mind..." I gesture to a nearby bed.

---------------

JACK

'He's all yours'. The words echo around my head as I watch Daniel sleep. He looks much better than he did last night, no doubt due to a more comfortable bed and, of course, some painkillers. He still looks a little pale though. I knew I shouldn't have let him go off on that dig. Every time he goes somewhere without the rest of us, he gets in trouble, and we all feel guilty when that happens. It's our duty to protect him, although he would disagree on that point having always protected himself.

'He's all yours'. Now I know Janet didn't mean that literally but why do I get the feeling that she's right anyway? Of all the people at the SGC, I'm the one who's closest to Daniel, the one he lets near him both physically and emotionally. Unfortunately that's caused a few rumours in the past but nothing that SG-1 couldn't handle... well, three-quarters of SG-1. I don't know whether Daniel heard the rumours or not but the rest of us did and we explained a few things to those who dared suggest anything. Forcibly. As I said, we're protective of Daniel.

Speaking of protective, Daniel is what I've heard described as 'protectionist' - he tries to protect his heart from harm all the time. He often used to wrap his arms around himself to try and protect himself from hurt. He'd also withdraw, mentally as well as physically, from events around him. Carter told me about when Hathor had us trapped and was about to put that snake in me. I'd seen him shut down earlier when Hathor revealed herself; Daniel did not want to remember what happened the last time, and he was afraid of what she might do again. But in that cryo-chamber, with Hathor gloating and me about to be Goa'ulded, Daniel just went blank. He was looking at me but his mind had voluntarily gone elsewhere so that it wouldn't have to cope with what was happening. Carter tells me that blank stare was almost scarier than what was happening to me. I know what she means; I saw that kind of face on Daniel after Sha'uri died. He didn't want to think about anything for a couple of days and I got really worried about him. I think the scariest part was not seeing 'Daniel' in those eyes, nothing of what makes him him. But it's his way of protecting his heart, a trick he no doubt learnt when he was young.

Seeing Daniel hurt, afraid or hurting brings out all my protective instincts. If he hurts, I hurt. He has no idea how hard it was for me on Edora, knowing that he would be hurting for me and knowing that I wouldn't be there to comfort him. Or when I hurt him so deeply during the undercover sting that later I went up onto my observation deck and cried for what seemed like hours because I knew exactly how much I'd hurt him. The fact was that having to say those words, to lie to Daniel about our friendship, hurt me greatly also, and at the same time I felt like I'd lost him because I couldn't see how he was ever going to forgive me for those words. I cried when I remembered the disbelief and pain in his eyes, unable to hide the wounds that my words had inflicted. I should've had an idea then that I cared for him a lot more than I'm supposed to.

Waaaay more.

Back on the planet, I finally admitted what my heart has been trying to tell me for months. It wasn't me holding him while he slept - although that was very nice - or the relief of seeing him alive. It was yesterday morning when I undid the bandages on his wrists. I was holding his hands, supposedly checking his wrists for infection, when I couldn't deny it any longer.

I'm in love with Daniel.

Describing what I felt as I held his hands is difficult so I won't even attempt to define it. I was so very aware of him that I got scared. I had to get away and think, or not to think actually. We still had hours before we were going to be back on Earth and I couldn't jeopardise the safety of my team by thinking about what Daniel was doing to me. So I had to shut him out. Didn't work for long though, and I ended up helping him walk for quite a distance. Neither of us wanted to let go; I know this because if Daniel hadn't wanted my help, he would've made sure I knew it.

I have to resist the urge to stroke his hair while he's lying there sleeping peacefully. The camera is watching me and I do not intend to give anyone watching any ammunition for gossip. Being here is not unusual; touching is. And I don't want to make life on base difficult for Daniel. He has a hard enough time coping with being a civilian in a military installation and all the accompanying prejudice without anything extra.

I wonder what he'd say if he knew how I felt.

"J'ck?" a groggy voice asks, breaking into my thoughts.

I look down at Daniel and my heart skips a beat. Still a little groggy from the meds, he's looking at me with innocent pleasure shining in his big blue eyes. He's pleased that his best friend is here with him, keeping an eye on him.

His best friend....

"Jack, what's wrong?" He sounds a little puzzled and I realise that I haven't said anything.

"Nothing." I smile reassuringly at him, trying to project truth with my body language. "How do you feel?" My fingers itch to be touching him so I shove them into my pockets.

"Fi-" Daniel changes his mind when he sees my raised eyebrows. "Better. At least, I don't hurt too much at the moment."

"Good." I want to stay here and chat but I can't think of anything to say. A first for me.

Daniel just keeps staring at me, a question in his eyes. Unfortunately my brain's not working too well at the moment so I don't know what he's asking. So I say the first thing that comes into my head. "Fraiser says that you can leave today provided someone goes with you for a couple of days to make sure that you take it easy."

The light in Daniel's eyes fades as he realises what I'm saying. "I don't need anyone to look after me, Jack." His mouth is set in a determined line.

I'm not tactless enough to point out that he does, and I really want to keep on doing it... look after him, that is. I want to have the right to do that forever. "It's more to make sure you don't work, Daniel."

The glare informs me that that reason isn't really any different. "Jack-"

"Daniel, it's non-negotiable. Someone goes with you or you stay in here where the doc can keep an eye on you." Personally, I know which I'd prefer.

The defiance continues even though he gives in, slumping back on to the pillow. "Fine."

"Great. I'll be back for you after Fraiser's checked you out." I don't miss the panic in his eyes - Fraiser's examination or me going home with him? Keeping my back to the camera, I briefly ruffle his short hair much to his surprise, then leave, anticipating the next couple of days.

----------

DANIEL

Two days?! Two days of Jack being around me the whole time... not good. The last time he took me home and stayed with me was after the incident with the crystal skull and that was only for a day. I've become very good at hiding my feelings over the years - Jack hasn't a clue - but spending too much time with him alone, in my house, is fraught with danger. He knows how to get through my defences, sometimes without consciously realising he's doing it. It's easier to keep my defences up off-world because a lot of the time, he's 'the colonel'; he's not trying to be nice, he's just doing his job, albeit doing it better than most of his colleagues. The colonel I can keep out because he's being 'military', giving orders and doing what he was trained to do. 'Jack', however, is different. There's a lot of hidden depths to Jack that he won't let anyone see. Except me.

Which is where my problem lies.

I don't want to be hiding from Jack. I want him to know how I feel, to return those feelings, and share my life like Sha'uri did but more. Sha'uri didn't know me like Jack does, and although she had my love, she never completely had my soul. Jack does, even though he doesn't know it. And that is an extremely hard thing to hide.

"Good morning, Daniel How are you feeling?" Janet asks as she glides into the room.

"Fine," I reply, watching her sceptical expression. No-one ever believes me.

"Really? Let's see."

After a rather long and occasionally embarrassing examination, she announces, "Everything is healing nicely. You can go home today and rest."

"I'm not a Goa'uld then?" Jack hadn't volunteered the information.

"No. But you're going to be sore for a couple of days so long hot baths are in order, as is a massage or two if you can talk the colonel into giving you one." Her grin was positively wicked.

"About Jack..."

"He's going with you, Daniel," Janet was uncompromising, correctly guessing the protest. "That's an order. And that's not going to work," she said as I stare forlornly at her.

Great. I don't get it though. My injuries aren't all that bad, certainly not bad enough to qualify a keeper being necessary. It dawns on me that everyone is in overprotective mode because of my close shave with death... again. I hate it when they do this even though they mean well. But I'm fine, as I will prove to Jack when we get home. Just fine.

*******

It's only eleven o'clock in the morning and already I'm doubting myself. The trip home has been hard because Jack's doing the 'best friend' routine, something that's been a little strained recently. After Jack had come back from Edora, he had to get used to living on Earth again, to being a part of SG-1. And we had to get used to him being back. We had to get our 'rhythm' back, so to speak. It never quite got back. Jack's solo mission to catch the people stealing from our allies created a lot of mistrust within the team. Jack was very good at subtly apologising for the whole thing but there's a little part of me that still remembers those painful words. Jack knows me too well; he knows exactly how to hurt me and make me stop thinking. How did I ever let him get close enough to do that to me?

"Whatcha thinking about, Danny?" Jack asks, shooting me a sideways glance. He steers the car into the apartment carpark with ease. I'm regretting letting him drive my car - that means he's got no transport so he's stuck with me.

"This and that." I'm not going to own up to the fact that I've been thinking about us. About him. About what it would be like to have those strong hands gliding over my bare skin... "Thanks for driving, Jack." My voice sounds a little forced and I'm hoping that Jack didn't notice.

"No problem." He noticed. "You sure you're alright?"

"Jack, I swear if you ask me that one more time..."

"Sorry, Daniel. Force of habit," he shrugs his Mother Hen act off as, getting out of the car at the same time.

He hovers beside me as we go up to the apartment, unlocks the door and ushers me inside. He guides me over to the couch and tells me to sit. What am I, a dog?

"I don't need to sit down, I'm fine," I protest but to no avail.

"Daniel, it's either here or your bedroom, your choice." His eyes stare uncompromisingly into mine.

My mind goes straight into the gutter at the thought of me, Jack and the bedroom. I'll choose the bedroom if you come with me, Jack. Please?

Jack takes advantage of my silence to gently push me down onto the couch. "Stay." He heads towards the fridge, presumably looking for something edible. Good luck to him.

As for me, I think I'll stay here. The car trip started a few muscles aching again so I don't really feel like moving. If I don't move, they don't hurt, simple. I slump back into the couch and watch Jack move to the kitchen still searching for food. The last time I went shopping was four weeks ago, before the mission, so there should be something in the cupboard whose use-by date wasn't three weeks ago. Maybe.

From my vantage point, I can't see Jack looking through all the cupboards but I can hear him. Like a bull in a china shop, as the cliche goes, but he can also be incredibly gentle. Skaara, Merrin, Charlie (both of them), me - we've all seen the soft side to the tough-guy persona. And his hurts run extremely deep, like his son Charlie's death. He told me once he'd never forgive himself for it. I think it colours all his dealings with children because he wants them to experience life the way his son never will. He believes it was his fault so he has to atone. I don't think it's a conscious thing; it's just the way he is.

If Charlie were alive, I doubt that Jack would be here now because he wouldn't have accepted that suicide mission, and consequently, wouldn't have been drawn into this whole thing... and I never would have met him. Is it bad of me to think that it's a good thing, in a way, that Charlie died so that I could have Jack in my life? In the alternate realities we've seen so far, my counterparts had never met Jack, had gone on their lonely way not knowing what they were missing. Jack had lost his son both times too but the key factor appeared to be my turning down Catherine's offer. Here, in this reality, I accepted it, I'm alive (although I'm not sure how) and I have Jack in my life. I think I got the best deal so far, although I can't speak for Jack.

"We're ordering out for lunch," Jack states, coming back into the living room and sitting down beside me. Immediately I tense. "No wonder you're getting thin."

"I eat plenty," I protest. Most of the time. Although lately I haven't felt too much like eating. Hearing that the man you're in love with loves someone else does that to your appetite.

"Gandhi ate more than you, Daniel." Jack stretches out his legs, one of them accidentally brushing against mine. A frission of desire bolts through me and I jerk away from the touch. Unfortunately Jack notices the reaction. "Sore spot?"

You could say that. I just nod, not trusting my voice too much at the moment. I have to relax. If I don't, Jack's going to get suspicious and he's very good at reading my body language. Consciously I make the effort to relax again.

"Feel like a game of chess? Something to read?"

"Chess sounds good." A minimum amount of movement and it'll get Jack off the couch.

He goes and gets the chess set, then drags the coffee table over in front of the couch. I'm a little puzzled when he doesn't shift another chair over as well. "Jack?"

"What?" He comes to stand beside me. "Scoot back, Danny."

Since I'm already resting against the back of the couch, I'm assuming he means to move up to the armrest, though I don't know why. It's not like there's not enough room for the both of us. "Why?"

"So you can play in a comfortable position," Jack explains, putting a couple of pillows next to the wooden armrest to cushion it's hardness. He then motions for me to sit up against those cushions, which I slowly comply with.

After shifting the table up against the couch and setting up the chessboard within my reach, Jack gently lifts up my legs and sits down on the couch, placing my legs over his. Under different circumstances I would love to be draped over Jack like this but at the moment, knowing that Jack doesn't love me the same way...

I try to shift my legs but Jack puts an arm across them, gently immobilising them. My mouth goes dry as I feel the heat of his arm and legs soaking through my trousers. Oh, I so wish the circumstances were different because if Jack notices how aroused I am, I'm going to die of embarrassment instead of melting into his arms like I do in my dreams. I am not going to make it through these two days.

"Don't move, Daniel, you'll be more comfortable like this."

Yeah, right.

Jack takes some time out from staring at the chessboard to stare at me, assessing me. "What's wrong?" His hand absently starts to stroke my left leg.

"Nothing." Liar. "I'm fine."

"Now I know something's wrong. Spill," he commands.

"It's-it's nothing, really, just, um..." I look down at his hand.

He follows my gaze and abruptly realises what he's doing. His hand stops it's rubbing and I feel the lack of it immediately. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," he apologises. "Pushing it too far?"

Pushing what too far? Ohhhh, the touching thing. After Abydos - the second time - Jack soon found out that I wasn't used to people doing things like hugging me or just casually touching me. He never stopped doing it - well, not until recently - and he never invaded my space like he's doing now. I wonder why the change. "A little, maybe... but it's.... it's kind of nice," I admit in a rush as he prepares to move away.

"Really?" Jack takes my hesitant nod at face value and settles back down. "Cool. But if you feel uncomfortable, Danny, just tell me, okay?"

"Okay." What have I done? I've practically told him that I love him doing this!! He's pushing the boundaries and I'm letting him. I am so pathetic, taking any contact I can get. But obviously he wants to do this, and that raises the question of why. It can't be that cliched; that the thought of me being sacrificed or worse made him see me in a different light... can it?

"Come one, Daniel, it's your move."

My eyes go back to the board and I see that Jack's moved one of the black pawns. My move. Should I tell him? What'll I do if he hates me? I'm too scared of rejection to make the first move.

I move one of my pieces slowly then lie back. Maybe I can force Jack to make a move... somehow. Depending on whether he actually wants me. I need to find out soon.

------------

JACK

I didn't get much sleep last night. Aside from the fact I was on Daniel's couch, I had a lot of things playing on my mind, foremost of which was whether to tell Daniel how I feel, followed closely by the possible consequences of that action. I didn't come any closer to a solution. I figure that Daniel's either likely to freak or approach it with scientific curiosity rather than leap into my arms. With the curiosity approach, I'd at least stand a chance because he'd be open to the idea. But I'm not holding my breath.

His behaviour yesterday was a little off though. Granted, Daniel was in a bit of pain and was therefore entitled to be somewhat grumpy, but he also seemed to be a little skittish. He hasn't been like that around me since he first came back from Abydos. Back then he wasn't used to me invading his personal space. Now, he should be used to it but yesterday...

Yesterday Daniel had tried to avoid being in close proximity to me. I first noticed this when we were playing chess and I had his legs on my lap, and he tried to get away. Then he relaxed - sort of - and even let me occasionally stroke those long, lissome legs of his. Naturally, for the rest of the day, I tried to see how far I could push it, testing how Daniel reacted. Of course, Daniel was being a pain, grumbling about everything so I felt justified in giving a little back. And the results were interesting. Every time I got close, he'd move, or try to move, away. And he positively froze when I suggested a massage. I'm not jumping to any conclusions about why that might be though. Not yet.

I don't think Daniel got much sleep last night either if his current mood is any indication. He's snapping at everything, his body language clearly saying 'stay away'. And me being me, won't. Daniel never likes to admit that he's not fine even when he's severely injured, and already this morning he's made several derogatory comments about my overprotectiveness and he 'didn't need help with anything, thank-you very much'. I've backed off a little for now, letting him catch up on some of his archaeological journals while I write up the mission report on Daniel's computer. Hammond wants that report asap so I guess I'll actually have to do it.

Eventually.

In between bouts of Daniel-watching.

He doesn't realise I'm watching him, he's that absorbed in his reading. If he knew, he'd go all self-conscious on me because he hates people staring at him. Got to admit, I hate people staring at him, especially when I know they're thinking about doing the same things to him as I am. Okay, so I may have been jealous for a while if my reaction to Shyla is anything to go by. Don't know why no-one clued me in. Well, actually I do but I won't go into that.

He's got a beautiful body. Not that it's currently on show but I've seen enough over the years to appreciate it. Most guys would kill for a body like that - lean, plenty of muscles but not bulky, and smooth skin, with long legs. Everything really. To top it off, he's got the most compelling blue eyes I've ever seen, and a smile that makes me feel good every time I see it. I reckon it's because of those looks that Fate decided the rest of his life should be full of challenges and heartbreak. Between the time that his parents died and when Sha'uri came along (I'm not arrogant enough to say me - Sha'uri was there for him first), he had no-one to look after him. After Sha'uri, I stepped in, although at first it was because he saved my life. When I realised how truly unique he was, I wanted to protect that. And the fact that I went ballistic or wanted to resign every time Daniel appeared to die never clued me in to the real reason I was upset.

It never occurred to me - obviously - that I wanted him as more than my best friend until I held his hand over the Eurondan DHD. Desire kicked in right there, growing when Daniel turned his confused and hurt-filled eyes on me. I should've just kissed him there and then except he really wouldn't have been in a receptive mood.

'Well, duh, you'd just stomped all over his feelings again. Of course he wouldn't be receptive.'

'You stay out of this!'

"Jack?"

I refocus on Daniel, noting that he is both embarrassed and annoyed. "Yeah?"

"Why are you staring at me?" There's a definite challenge in his voice this time.

"I was thinking." Oops, didn't deny the staring.

"About what?"

Fighting the urge to shift uncomfortably, I take a second to reply. "The meaning of life." Of my life, in particular.

I can feel the hostility move up a notch. Daniel thinks I'm lying, or at the very least, avoiding the question. Which I am.

"Really." He draws out the word. "Make any discoveries?"

He doesn't really want an answer, given the amount of sarcasm in the question. Still... I'll give him something to think about. "Just that we're often blind to its beauty."

"Wha-what?" Daniel looks like he doesn't know how to take that remark, which is exactly what I intended.

"Haven't you ever seen something one day differently to the day before, and realised just how beautiful it is?" Oh, this is fun! It's not often I get Danny speechless. I lean back in my chair and enjoy the show.

Daniel's lips - his definitely kissable lips - are parted as he tries to work out what I'm on about. He appears to want to speak but isn't sure what to say. "Jack," he finally manages, "are you alright?"

What, the man who used to occasionally work as an assassin can't think introspective thoughts? You know me better than that, Danny. I'm not as dumb as I act. "Never been better. You?"

His lips thin in frustration. Not that I'm paying any particular attention to his lips. Uh-uh, no way. "Ja-ack..."

"Dan-iel."

The linguist in question is silent for a moment and then, to my surprise, he throws his journal across the room, narrowly missing some fragile ancient artifact. With a few grimaces of pain, he gets to his feet and heads towards the door.

This is not good. "Uh, Daniel, where're you going?"

"Out."

Definitely mad but I'm not exactly sure why. Unless... he knew exactly what I was talking about, that he was waiting for something more from me. Something more than words. "You might want to rethink that."

"Why?" he snaps, reaching for the door handle.

I point to his bare feet. "Shoes."

He looks down too. "Oh."

By the time he's backtracked a little and then realised he's supposed to be too mad for shoes, I'm between him and the door. I'm not letting him out of my sight, and since he won't want me following him down the street, he has to stay here.

"Move, Jack."

"No."

"I said move."

"No." Not this time.

Daniel stares at me, defiance in his eyes and in his stance. He's gearing up for a fight. "Why don't you ever do what I ask, Jack?"

Ouch. My guess is that that question has been hovering around in his mind for years. Instead of giving a sensitive answer though, my mouth kicks in before my brain. "That's the pot calling the kettle black."

"You don't ask, you order!"

"That's my job!" Remember? Colonel, commander of SG-1? Military? Any of this ringing a bell? "And you weren't exactly saying please just then either," I point out.

"You're supposed to follow orders," Daniel shoots back.

"From my superiors, Daniel," I say witheringly.

"But not from me. Not from the civilian, the geek who can't possibly be right!" Daniel goes off on a bit of a tangent.

"What's that got to do with orders?" I'm not touching the whole 'you don't trust me' debate that's been raging since Kheb. I know my actions then came across the wrong way to Daniel and I've tried to explain them since but nothing's sunk in.

Daniel, however, obviously wants to vent and doesn't listen to my question. "You don't trust me, Jack. You never believe me and you obviously think I can't look after myself!"

I can't deny that last accusation. The only person who doesn't know he can't look after himself is Daniel.

"How many times to I tell you all that I don't need babysitting! I'm a grown man, Jack..."

Definitely noticed that. Definitely. Absolutely.

"...I don't need looking after!"

Or so you've told yourself as you were growing up to excuse the lack of it in others. "Yes, you do."

His eyes spit fire at me for daring to suggest such a thing. "No, I don't."

"Yes, I say, stepping closer to him, trapping him against the wall. "You do." I place my hands either side of his head.

As Daniel goes to retort, I simply cover his mouth with mine.

My fantasies have nothing on the real thing. His mouth is so soft, unyielding at first but gradually relaxing. For a brief second I was worried that he might push me away or knee me, but the moment passed. He wouldn't let me do this if he didn't want it.

So sweet, like a first kiss should be. The few remaining brain cells I have left register the moment that Daniel starts kissing me back, the sweetness merging with a hungry passion. My hands come around to cup his face while his venture around my waist to hold me tightly against him. It's all I can do not to take him now. But I need to mend some bridges first, so we'll just stick to the kissing. The hot... passionate... loving... what was I saying? I can't think for all this kissing. Those soft lips pressing against mine...

-----------

DANIEL

...inviting me to open up to him, to let him in... to give in to the desires I've had for so long...

I'm kissing Jack. He's kissing me. I can't believe he's doing this. That I'm doing this. That I'm thinking about this while it's happening. I thought it might feel a bit weird but it doesn't. To use a cliche, it feels like coming home.

I can feel the hardness of his body under my hands, pressed up against me... so unlike Sha'uri, who was so soft. It's exciting feeling - knowing - how strong Jack is and knowing he'll never use that strength against me. That he'll never hurt me...

My hands freeze as I remember our arguments, the way Jack doesn't listen to me, and the rumours that Jack confessed to being in love with Sam. Rumours that he's never denied...

Suddenly I'm pushing Jack away, gasping for breath. I can't believe I let him do this; that I forgot about Sam. Who does he think he is! "No!"

Jack is looking very surprised and also very aroused but he's keeping his distance, threat-assessing me. "Daniel?" he asks cautiously.

"What do you think you were doing?!"

He looks a little shocked at the anger in my voice. I hope he doesn't correctly read the hurt in my eyes though. "I thought that was fairly obvious!"

"Why? Because you didn't want me to walk out that door? Because I was convenient? Because Sam won't?"

"Because I love you!" Jack is provoked into shouting at me. "I love you," he repeats more gently.

He - he loves me? I can't have heard that right. "What... what did you say?" Some of the anger drains out of me at hearing those words but the rest remains because I don't believe it.

"You gonna make me say it again?" Jack complains without any real rancor. He rubs his eyes, all the fight gone out of him, letting me see how tired he really is. "I love you, Daniel."

"That's not possible."

"Oh, I guarantee you it is."

"What about - what about Sam?" Three times. He's said it three times. Maybe it is true.

"What about Carter?"

"You-you-you love her!" Great, now I'm stuttering. "You said so!"

"No, I didn't." He pauses. "When?"

"In the zatarc-detector, you said you cared about Sam a lot more than you were supposed to!" The literal truth, Jack.

"Who told you?" Jack asks me wearily.

I'm surprised he didn't bite my head off. But I'm not entirely surprised that he didn't deny it. "Does it matter?" I reply equally as wearily, hurt draining the rest of the anger from me.

"I guess not." Jack sticks his hands in his pockets and looks down at the floor as though the words he needs to say are written there. Then he looks up at me, honesty radiating from his eyes. "I didn't lie. But caring about Carter does not mean that I love her."

"Well, that's not the way everyone else sees it."

"Well, everyone else is wrong! I care about my team a lot more than I'm supposed to but the only one I'm in love with is you! Who, by the way, has not given me any indication of what he feels!"

I thought the kiss was fairly obvious but it seems Jack might need the words. Part of me still isn't convinced though. "But..."

"Oh, for cryin' out loud, Daniel, what do I have to do to make you believe me!" The anger suddenly subsides, doubt taking its place. His face falls, derision apparent in his eyes. "I am such an idiot," he states, turning towards the door.

Without thinking I place my hand on his arm, stopping him from leaving. "Why?"

"Because you obviously don't love me, that's why." Jack tries to shrug my hand off, embarrassed, but I'm not letting go. He's made the first move. It's my turn now.

"I do, Jack." You have no idea how much. "I have for years," I admit.

Shrewd brown eyes stare into mine as he gauges the truth of my statement. "Really?"

"Really." I know Jack's not going to return the compliment because he hasn't known for years like I have. I don't know how I know this, I just do.

"Sweet." I know he doesn't mean that I'm sweet. I think. He doesn't insult me either by asking why I never mentioned this before. "So."

"So."

"We're in love."

"Apparently."

"What do we do now?"

I have a few ideas but I doubt they're what he means. "What do you want to do?"

"Daniel..." A hint of frustration creeps into Jack's voice.

"You've got more to lose than I have," I point out. His job, his freedom... that would mean a lot to Jack. "Are you willing to risk it?" I have to ask the questions even while I'm dreading the answer.

Jack is silent for a long moment. A sick feeling forms in the pit of my stomach. I knew it. I'm not worth taking the risk on. Why would he want me anyway when he could have Sam?

"Yes."

"Um, what?" I've lost track of the conversation. Is he saying yes to...

"Yes, I'm willing to take the risk." He steps forward into my personal space, forcing me back against the wall. "Are you?"

"Me?" Suddenly I'm nervous, don't know why though. Maybe it has something to do with the way Jack's staring at me very intensely and greedily. My mouth has gone dry and I can't think of anything to say.

"Yes, you," Jack confirms. "Are you willing to risk a relationship with an overprotective, sometimes arrogant and condescending, colonel who wants to ravish your body every chance he gets?"

Well, since he put it that way... I pretend to think about it a little bit while I try to get my brain to function properly. No smart comments come to mind though so I have to settle for, "I think so."

"You'd better know so, Danny, or this goes nowhere."

'Danny.' He called me 'Danny'. How long has it been since I've heard that name? (not counting the times he's said it in the past day or so to annoy me). Jack's the only one who uses that name, the only one I let call me that. It has vague undertones of a father talking to his son but I know Jack doesn't mean it that way. Most of the time, anyway.

He's standing so close to me but not touching. Waiting for me to tell him it's okay to touch. I've wanted this for so long, I don't think I can tell him 'no' even with the spectre of Sam hanging over me. "I want you."

"You sure?"

"Oh, for cryin' out loud!" Just my luck to fall in love with a man whose mothering instincts are well developed. "Would you be standing there if I wasn't?" He can take that statement one of two ways.

Obviously he can't decide which way to take it, his face puzzled. But then he decides that I'm sure and closes the small distance between us, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me tightly against him. I can feel every hard plane of his body - oh boy, can I. After sleeping in his arms the other night I got some idea of what his body felt like but that still didn't prepare me for this! He feels sooo good, and this is through several layers of clothing. What will it be like without them?

I lace my hands behind Jack, completing the embrace, and stare into his eyes. He smiles at me, a twinkle in his eyes. "This is slightly weird," I observe.

"Ya think?" He steps forward, moving me back against the wall again, keeping our bodies pressed together. "Shall we try for definitely weird?" he asks as he gently rocks his body against mine.

Ohboyohboyohboyohboy. My eyes widen as I take in the new sensations and the fact that Jack's hands have slipped down lower. "I think we've reached definitely weird," I manage to say breathlessly.

"Good." His head tilts down so he can capture my lips again. The sensations caused by the kiss and the constant rocking of our bodies is almost overwhelming. Or it could just be the lack of oxygen getting through to my brain that's making me dizzy, I don't know. His teeth gently graze my bottom lip, then his tongue follows to soothe any pain. It's like nothing I've ever experienced before, this sparkage between us. Everything feels so good. His tongue slips into my mouth to wrestle with my tongue, and my hands move to behind his head to pull him closer...

Suddenly I'm left gasping for breath as Jack draws his head away. He brings his hands up to cup my face, his breathing as ragged as my own.

"Jack?" Why has he stopped?

"You're so beautiful, Danny. Why would you love someone like me?"

I don't know that he meant to ask that question out loud and I'm surprised by it. "Because you're beautiful to me, that's why! Not just on the outside either, Jack." I'm beautiful? In my dreams.

Jack shakes his head. "I don't think so."

"I do!" His thumbs are gently caressing my jaw, a touching gesture which makes it hard to speak emphatically. "I've always believed the best of you." Nearly always anyway.

"You're a hopeless optimist, Danny. I suppose that's part of why I love you."

That's so sweet. Now, about the kissing...

Jack takes a step back, evading my clutches, and grinning at my disappointed face. "Take it easy, Danny, we've got plenty of time."

Speak for yourself. I've never been so aroused in my life and that was just from kissing. That definitely bodes well for the rest of it. If I last that long. "I don't want to take my time. I want you now."

Jack chuckles, presumably finding my eagerness amusing. His eyes flick downwards then back to my face. "Noticed that. And you'll get me. But I want this to be special for us. For you."

Tears begin to well up in my eyes. I am not going to cry, I am not. "Why?" I manage to get out past the lump in my throat.

"Why do you think?" Jack replies, taking my hand and kissing my injured wrist. "Because I want to do this right. Because you deserve something special. Because I want us to happen."

The tears start to overflow. He's not just saying this to get me into bed. He means it. He loves me.

Jack enfolds me in his arms, comforting me as I take in this revelation. It's been so long since anyone's truly loved me. Sha'uri - hers was an innocent love, as mine was for her. This... this is so much more. We know each other so well and yet we've still fallen in love. I'm not used to having my dreams come true.

After a couple of minutes I feel like I can talk so I lift my head up to look at Jack. The love he feels for me shines through and nearly takes my breath away. "I love you, Jack."

He wipes away my tears before replying, "I know." Then he kisses me again and I lose myself in it. I could definitely get used to this.

--------------

JACK

I look at the young man sleeping beside me. Who knew there was so much passion waiting to be woken in him? I should've, given how passionate he gets about his work. Still, I never thought it would be directed at me.

I think I've still got a lot of reassuring to do though. He's heard and seen how much I love him but Daniel's always been insecure about his attractiveness to others so I don't know whether he believes yet that I'm in this forever. If I didn't think Daniel was worth risking my career for, I wouldn't be here right now. I've just got to make him believe it.

Gently running my fingers over a bruise on his arm, I notice how fragile he looks. He's always looked innocent when sleeping but he's lost a bit of weight recently and looks very slender without clothes to hide it. Probably was too upset to eat much after someone told him I loved Carter, and I wasn't paying my usual amount of attention to his well-being to notice. Now we're together, I'll make sure he doesn't starve himself.

I can't believe I almost missed out on all this. If I'd kept on denying what I felt, I wouldn't be feeling this happy, and I have the feeling that I eventually would've driven Daniel away. He's been hiding his feelings from me for so long that eventually it would've broken him. And that would've broken me.

We need to make the most of the time we spend together because in our job, we never know what each mission will bring. Both of us have suffered much loss and don't want to anymore, but we're willing to take the chance with each other. And if one of us dies, the other will die in spirit if not in body.

Together forever - my promise to Daniel.

Next: Shadow Of A Doubt