Meant To Be 2

Always

by SJSlashfan

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/ass/sjslashfan/meantt02.php
Summary: A friendship deepens.

Captain Samantha Carter took a deep breath, and then knocked on the door. This was a visit she didn't want to make, but knew that it was something she had to do.

A few moments later, the door was opened. "Hi," said the woman at the door cautiously. "Hi Sam. What are you doing here?"

"Hey Heidi," Sam replied, her mouth dry. "I'm sorry to drop in on you like this. I know it's been a long time."

"Ten months," Heidi answered, almost too quickly.

Sam swallowed. "I know," she said. "And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for so many things. I had to see you, just once more. Can I come in?" she asked, not at all confident of the answer.

"Sure," Heidi replied, and moved to one side to let her former lover into the house.

"Thanks," Sam said.

"Can I get you anything? Coffee? Something stronger?" Heidi asked.

"No," Sam replied. "I didn't come here for that."

"So why are you here?" Heidi came straight to the point.

"Two reasons," Sam said. "The first one is to apologize. I treated you so badly, Heidi, and for that I will forever be sorry. I was too wrapped up in my work, I didn't devote the time you deserved to the relationship. I don't blame you for kicking me out. I'm just surprised you didn't do it sooner. I hope one day you find somebody who deserves you."

"And the second reason?" Heidi asked, trying to keep control of her emotions.

"I'm leaving," Sam said. "Leaving Washington, that it. I got a transfer. I'm moving to Colorado Springs in three weeks."

"So you got it?" Heidi asked. "The Stargate program? They're taking you at last?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah," she replied.

Heidi took her hand. "I'm glad," she said. "You've worked so hard for this Sam, you deserve your success."

Sam was unable to hide her surprise at Heidi's endorsement of her move.

Heidi smiled at the look on Sam's face. "I was never the right woman for you," she said in a gentle tone. "I know I gave you hell for spending so much time working, for never being home. But the truth is, and I hate to admit it, is that if I'd been right for you, somehow you would have found time for me and your work. I couldn't see that at the time, I was just blinded by my love for you. But we weren't right together. I see that now. One day you'll find the right person, and you'll see what I mean. But in the meantime, go, follow your dream. You've lived and breathed the Stargate program for the last four years. Now go and experience it."

Sam tried to stop the tears gathering in her eyes. "You're being so much more understanding than I deserve," she said, her voice cracking with emotion.

"It was good of you to come," Heidi said to her. "To tell me in person that you are leaving."

"It's the least I can do," Sam said. "I couldn't leave you to find out on the office grapevine. I know I've behaved real badly, but I at least owed you an explanation."

Heidi smiled. "I appreciate it," she said. "And I hope that some day, in the not too-distant future, you'll find the 'right' person as well as having the job you've dreamed about Sam. I want you to be happy Sam."

Sam looked up at her, and noticed a new serenity in her that she hadn't seen before. "And are you happy Heidi?" she asked. "It's none of my business, but you're looking happier than I've seen in a long time."

Heidi smiled again. "Yeah," she said. "I am happy. D'you remember that hot librarian I used to tease you about back when we were together?"

"The blonde?" Sam asked.

"With the legs that just don't quit...!" Heidi giggled. "Her name's Georgia. She's wonderful, Sam," Heidi was unable to hide her enthusiasm. "And she's moving in here next week."

Sam pulled Heidi into a hug. "I'm so happy for you," she said with real feeling. "I hope she makes you as happy as you deserve," she said.

"She does," Heidi replied. "She does."

= = =

"So did you get any news from Jake?" Sharon asked Janet, referring to the psychiatrist whose number Janet had left with her husband.

Janet nodded. "Yeah," she said. "He says David's booked six months of appointments. God knows whether he intends to see it through. Maybe he booked just to stop me calling the police. But it's a step in the right direction. Jake's seeing him next week for the first time. Obviously he can't give me any details, but he's promised to let me know at least if he turns up when he should." She tried to keep her voice even.

Sharon reached over and touched her hand. "That's good," she said gently. "One step at a time."

Janet looked up gratefully at her friend.

= = =

"Napoleonic power monger," Jack O'Neill grumbled as he stomped into the commissary where Sam, Daniel and Teal'c were discussing the latest mission over a cup of very strong coffee.

"Sir?" Sam asked.

"That new CMO. I swear she uses harpoons in place of needles," he rubbed his butt disconsolately. "An hour and a half I've been down there. If there's any possible test she hasn't given me, I'll be very surprised. I'll bet she's even checked to see if I'm pregnant."

"Well Sir, a full medical does cover a lot of ground," Sam said mildly. "They have to check on everything from heart rate to the speed at which you absorb iron in your diet. There's blood pressure, urine analysis, lung capacity, bone density..."

"Carter!" O'Neill bellowed. "I don't need to go through it all over again! Anyway, you'll find out soon enough just how much fun it is, you're next. When you come back, you can tell me just how much you enjoyed the attentions of Nurse Ratched." He grinned triumphantly.

= = =

Sam knocked on the door of Janet's office, and stuck her head round the corner. She saw a pretty young woman leave a file on the desk, and mistakenly assumed she'd seen the new CMO's assistant. She smiled at the young woman. "Sorry," she said, "I was just looking for Dr Fraiser. Is she around at all?" she asked politely.

"You've found her," Janet smiled. "You must be Captain Carter. Come on in."

"No, I meant the new CMO," Sam continued.

"That's me," Janet grinned. "Don't tell me; you were expecting someone older," she was used to this reaction.

"Oh God, I'm sorry," Sam said. "Yes. No. Not older. Just more intimidating," she smiled back. And less hot, she thought to herself, dragging her eyes away from the soft curve of Janet's breasts. "I'm so sorry," she said again. "It looks like I was given a ... false impression of what you'd be like."

"By Colonel O'Neill, no doubt," Janet smiled again. She picked up the file she had just been leafing through; Sam saw 'Captain Samantha Carter' on the front of it. "Your CO," she stated. "A man who really does not like needles.

Sam smiled back. "Yeah," she admitted sheepishly. Somewhat belatedly, she stuck out her hand. "Let's start again," she said. "I'm Samantha Carter, Captain, service number 36-6-349. At your service, Ma'am," she grinned.

Janet took her hand. "Janet Fraiser, Doctor. And Captain. Service number 36-5-592," she said, and saluted comically. Sam laughed. She liked this woman's attitude. And she must have something special if she could subdue the colonel.

"Take a seat," Janet indicated the chair in front of the desk. She turned away momentarily to gather herself. She had not expected Captain Carter to be like this. From what she had read of her accomplishments, and heard on the grapevine, she had expected her to be nerdy, geeky, frankly rather boring. This young woman was full of spark and humor. She was also undeniably just about the most beautiful woman Janet had ever seen. Pull yourself together, she told herself. She would very soon see the captain in nothing more than a skimpy gown, and above all she had to remain professional. "This'll take a while, I'm afraid," Janet said, surprised at how she managed to keep her voice even. "But I've been asked to give all the active teams full medicals. So I'm sorry, we're gonna have to go through everything."

"That's okay," Sam replied, secretly delighted at anything that would keep her in the doctor's company. "It has to be done."

= = =

The hour and a half whizzed past for both women faster than either of them would have liked. They talked a lot during the examination, not just about work, but also about personal interests, musical tastes, hobbies and more. Janet was almost relieved to hear Sam admit that she was a lousy cook; from what she could see, she was just about perfect in every other way. She was by far the smartest person Janet had ever met, but somehow managed to combine genius with modesty and self-effacing humor. She was also in incredible shape. Janet took the requisite samples from the captain, but knew even before she got the results that she was the fittest person on the base.

Sam spent most of the time during her examination trying not to ogle the doctor. She spotted a tell-tale indentation on Janet's ring finger that indicated that she had until recently been married, which suggested that she was more than likely straight, so not an ideal target for Sam's romantic attentions. But she couldn't help enjoying her company, and hoped that they would become friends. There were few enough women on the base and, while Sam was far from a strident feminist and was already extremely fond of the other members of SG-1, she was glad to see a slight increase in estrogen levels at the mountain.

= = =

"So Carter, are you ready to sample the delights of P3X-593?" O'Neill grinned at his 2IC.

"As always, Sir," Sam smiled back. "Daniel says the planet should be fascinating," she said. "It'll be interesting to find out their level of technology, considering that their culture appears backward, in relation to what we have today."

"Yadda yadda," O'Neill said. "I swear you're getting as bad as Daniel, Carter."

"Sorry Sir," Sam grinned, not sounding the slightest bit penitent.

It was in a cheerful mood that the team departed through the 'gate, and the weather was fine on P3X-593. However, before they knew what had happened, it all went to crap. The locals took exception to Sam being a woman in a 'man's world', and were further horrified by her having the temerity to speak and offer her own opinions. Only her earlier participation in saving the boy from vicious dogs protected her from severe punishment, possibly even death.

Later, Jack O'Neill would castigate himself for failing to take the team straight back through the 'gate when he had the chance. He was also appalled with himself that he allowed the team to be separated, and going with the guys to the party while Sam, dressed in local 'female' finery, was left to stew in the yurt. And it was only after their return that he discovered that Sam had suffered much more than anyone had realized at the hands of the tribal chief Turghan. All this would become clear to him in the future but not, he thought back bitterly, in time to stop him behaving like an ass and putting the best 2IC he had ever had at unacceptable and pointless risk.

So Sam was kidnapped, mistreated, sold into bondage and finally rescued, only then to take on -- and defeat -- Turghan in the best display of hand-to-hand combat that O'Neill had ever witnessed. All, he later found out, with deep and infected whip wounds on her back.

By the time the team returned through the 'gate, Sam was white and shaken, with tell-tale spots of red in her cheeks indicating the beginning of a fever. She was also extremely short with the rest of the team, O'Neill in particular.

Janet met SG-1 as they came back through the 'gate. They were already two days late, and it was customary for any team that was delayed in any way to be met by a medic in the 'gate room. Quickly appraising SG-1 with a practiced eye, Janet could see that the men all looked healthy, while Sam looked like death warmed up. She marched over to the captain and put a hand to her forehead, feeling the heat from her skin. She called for a gurney, but Sam put her hand on her arm. "No," she said firmly. "I don't need a gurney."

"Captain," Janet said, "you're sick, you need to be seen right away."

"I'll come with you," Sam compromised. "But I'll walk. I'm okay. Really," she fixed Janet with a pleading look, shaking her head very slightly.

Janet could see from the look on Sam's face that, for some reason, it was very important to her to get to the infirmary under her own steam. "Okay," she said calmly. "You come with me now while the others debrief. Colonel," she addressed O'Neill, "I want to see all of you once you've given your reports, alright?"

O'Neill nodded meekly. "Look after her doc," he nodded toward Sam. "She's had a hell of a few days," the pride in his voice was unmistakeable.

Janet led Sam to the elevator; once the doors closed, Sam's rigid posture relaxed slightly, and she shut her eyes momentarily. "Want to tell me what that was all about?" Janet asked gently.

Sam swayed slightly and shook her head, trying to disperse the dizziness that had overcome her. Janet took her arm and steadied her.

"Not really," Sam said in a quiet voice. "It's been a tough couple of days. I wanted the colonel to see that they didn't break me. That I can cope, I'm not some pathetic woman who caves at the first sign of trouble."

"I'm sure nobody thinks that, Captain," Janet said, as the bing of the elevator announced its arrival on the 21st floor. "You okay for the last few steps?"

Sam nodded wearily. "Thank you," she said.

"For what?" Janet asked.

"For not making me ride on a gurney," Sam said.

"I could see it was important to you," Janet told her, guiding her to a bed. She drew the curtains round the bed. "D'you think you could slip into a gown for me? I need to check you over thoroughly."

Sam shook her head miserably. "I think my t-shirt may be stuck," she said, wincing as she removed her overshirt.

Janet could see that the t-shirt was indeed stuck to Sam's back in several places, dried and fresh blood both apparent on the fabric. "My God," she said, "what happened to you?"

Sam laughed mirthlessly. "Turns out the tribal chief didn't like women to answer back," she replied.

Janet blanched. "Captain," she said in a quiet voice. "I need you to tell me the absolute truth here. Were you attacked? Sexually, I mean," she tried to keep her voice steady.

Sam shook her head. "No," she said almost in a whisper. "I wasn't."

"Is that the truth?" Janet pushed the young captain who, she could see, was trying hard to hold herself together.

"Yes," Sam said. "He kissed me, and when I objected, he whipped me. But he didn't rape me. I think he probably would have done quite soon. If the guys hadn't turned up when they did..." she paled further at the realization of what could have happened. "But he didn't rape me, I swear. You can examine me if you want to," her voice shook.

"That's okay," Janet said softly, putting a hand on Sam's arm. "I believe you. And I'm sorry I had to ask. Okay," she took a pair of scissors, "let's get this t-shirt off and check out the damage."

For the next 20 minutes, Janet worked at removing Sam's t-shirt. She soaked the cloth and, piece by piece, slowly managed to peel it from her, doing her best to minimize the pain for the young captain. She was horrified by some of the whip marks on Sam's back when they became apparent. She could see eight distinct lash marks, three of which very deep, with two of them badly infected. The worst of the marks was deep in Sam's back, and even had part of the clasp of Sam's bra embedded in the wound.

Janet realized that Sam had started to shake, her fever combining with delayed shock. She pulled a blanket round Sam's front as she started to work on removing the partly embedded bra. "I'm afraid you're gonna need to visit Victoria's Secret," she tried to joke to Sam as she cut through the straps. Very carefully she extricated the garment, her heart breaking when she heard Sam twice cry out in pain. "Okay," she tried to remain businesslike, "just need to clean these a bit, put in a couple of stitches, and you'll be good as new," her false cheer sounded hollow even to her ears.

She injected local anesthetic, and set to work cleaning and draining the wounds. No wonder Sam was running a fever, she realized, as she dug out God only knew what from the wounds. After nearly an hour, she finally put in the last of the stitches. "You're done now," she said quietly to Sam, who lay unprotesting on her side.

"Can I go?" Sam asked, her voice sounding weak and pathetic.

"Not tonight, Captain," Janet said gently, pulling warm blankets up over her and fitting an IV to deliver antibiotics. "We just need to get this fever down, and make sure you have no ill-effects. And I need to read the mission report too, in case there's something I've missed. So you'll be here for tonight at least, probably two nights. But after that you can go, okay?"

"Okay," Sam said miserably, exhaustion overwhelming her.

= = =

"I let her down, doc," O'Neill admitted, after Janet had read the mission report. "I was a total ass. She will be okay, right?"

"She will," Janet retorted, more sharply than she had intended.

"Can I see her?" he asked. "I need to apologize."

"You're right," Janet said, "you do. But not right now, she's sleeping. Tomorrow maybe. I'll let you know," she saw the anguished look on his face. She reached out and touched his arm. "She's going to be fine, colonel," she said gently.

= = =

Janet's shift finished at 9pm, but somehow she couldn't bring herself to go home. She didn't want to leave the young captain who, despite her own protestations, was clearly traumatized by her recent mission. So she grabbed a blanket and a pillow, and settled herself down for the night in a chair by Sam's bed.

Three times during the night Sam awoke, startled and in pain, reliving the moment when Turghan had advanced on her, lust in his eyes. Each time she sat up, gasping, barely awake, she felt the soft touch of the young doctor, smoothing the hair from her eyes, whispering soothing words, persuading her to take small sips of water. She finally fell asleep again, the warm press of Janet's hand on her arm. She felt safe.

When Sam awoke at 8am the next morning, Sharon, Janet's head nurse, was seated by her head. Sam looked up, confused. "Janet's having a shower," Sharon explained softly. "She's on duty in half an hour. She asked me to sit with you in case you woke."

Sam nodded.

"How are you feeling?" Sharon asked.

"Better," Sam said. "Thank you. And please thank Dr Fraiser for me," she said. "She was real kind."

= = =

"So that's about it," O'Neill came to the end of his long speech. "I was a total ass. I made bad decisions. And I didn't treat you with the respect you deserve. I'm sorry Carter, it won't happen again. And if you want to be reassigned, I'll understand."

Sam stepped toward her CO and took his hand. "Thank you Colonel," she said. "Your apology means a lot to me. I think we all learned something from the mission. I made mistakes too; I was pig-headed, taking on Turghan like that. And I was wrong not to tell you I was injured. I'm sorry too Colonel. And no, the last thing I want is to be reassigned. I love my role with SG-1. And I have enormous respect for you Sir."

O'Neill beamed. "Thank God," he said. "You're the best 2IC I've ever had. C'mere," he pulled Sam into a gentle hug, taking care not to touch her injured back.

= = =

On Saturday, four days later, Janet heard her doorbell ringing. On answering, she realized that at long last, all her books were arriving by courier, six large boxes full. During her last two weeks with David, she had been surreptitiously taking her most important books into work. Fortunately a lot of them were there already. Before moving to Colorado Springs, she had asked one of the airmen on the base to package them up and send them on to her when she had an address, telling him it wasn't urgent. But it had been two months and, just as she was starting to suspect she would never see them again, they arrived.

She had just signed for them, and was lugging the second box into her small apartment, when she heard the doorbell ring again. "Not another box!" she called out laughing, assuming the delivery boy had found further packages in his van.

"No, but I can go find one if you want!" a female voice called, laughter in the tone.

Janet frowned, she knew that voice, but from where? She came to the door, and smiled widely. "Captain Carter!" she said with real pleasure. "It's real good to see you. How did you know where I lived?"

Sam looked shamefaced. "I looked you up on the base computer," she admitted. "I wanted to give you this," she held out a bottle of very expensive wine.

Janet took it from her. "Merlot, my favorite," she said. "Not that I'm not delighted to see you, and the wine," she grinned, "but to what do I owe the pleasure? And why are you bringing me what looks like very expensive Merlot?"

"I wanted to thank you," Sam said simply. "You were so kind. And I don't know what you said to Colonel O'Neill, but it sure worked," she grinned.

"Oh I was only doing my job," Janet said.

"Staying up all night in a chair?" Sam challenged her. "I'd say that's above and beyond the call of duty."

Janet smiled. "What can I say? I'm a control freak!" she smiled, self-deprecatingly. She was pleased to see that Captain Samantha Carter was looking much better and, more importantly, relaxed and happy. "Well thank you Captain, I'm sure I shall enjoy this," she held the bottle of wine out.

"Sam," Sam said. "Please call me Sam."

"And you must call me Janet," Janet said. "Can I persuade you to stay for coffee? I've just put a fresh pot on."

"That sounds great," Sam said. "Let me help you with these boxes first," and she effortlessly lifted the largest of the boxes and followed Janet into the apartment.

The two women talked and laughed over coffee, and then Sam insisted on staying to help Janet unpack the boxes of books and arrange them in her various bookshelves. Janet tried to persuade Sam to stay for lunch, but the blonde reluctantly demurred. "I have lots to do, and I'm going out bowling with the guys tonight. Hey," she had a sudden thought. "How are you at bowling?" she asked, a twinkle in her eye.

Janet laughed. "You're kidding, right?" she asked. "I won all the bowling trophies at medical college for three years' running!" she told Sam. "They wouldn't let me play in the end."

"Great," Sam said. "Please say you'll play tonight? Siler's coming too, we can have three teams of two, girls against the guys. We'll show them who's the weaker sex!"

= = =

"Strike!" Sam yelled, "we've won!" Impulsively, she lifted Janet off her feet and swung her round in victory.

O'Neill pretended to sulk at his resounding defeat at the hands of the two women, but secretly he was delighted to see Sam on such good form. He was relieved and grateful that Sam had indeed forgiven him for his boorish behavior and that the team was once more back on an even keel. Even Daniel had seemingly forgiven him; he had been even more pissed than Sam about what had happened with Turghan.

= = =

Janet picked up the local newspaper and was reading it while eating a hurried sandwich in her office. She had had a busy morning, and could only spare 10 minutes for her lunch, which was already extremely late. But she was stopped in her tracks when she spotted an advertisement. Quickly, she dialed the 'phone, hoping that Sam would be at her desk.

"Carter!" Sam always sounded hurried when she answered the 'phone.

"Sorry," Janet said. "Am I interrupting something?"

Sam laughed. "Hey Janet," she said. "No, just recalibrating a zat. Nothing that can't wait. What can I do for you?"

"It's what I can do for you," Janet said, a smile in her voice. "I remember you telling me you liked Bach. Natalie Clein's playing his cello suites at the Philharmonic tomorrow night, wanna go?"

"Wow!" Sam replied. "You bet! She's a fantastic cellist. I don't suppose I could persuade you to come along too?" she asked. "Then you'd see first hand why I love Bach so much."

Janet's heart fluttered. She had hoped that Sam would want her to go too, but didn't want to push herself forward. "Why not?" she said. "It might be fun. Leave it with me, I'll book two tickets. And Sam?" she asked.

"Yeah?" Sam replied.

"You had any lunch yet?" Janet was beginning to realize just how easily Sam was distracted when working.

"Is it lunch time?" Sam looked at her watch, which showed 3.30pm. "Ooops!" she giggled.

"Go get some lunch," Janet instructed.

= = =

"That was beautiful," Janet was surprised to realize that there were tears in her eyes. "I didn't realize music could be so moving."

Sam laughed as she saw Janet surreptitiously wipe away her tears. "Don't be embarrassed," she said, "Bach makes me cry every time. I'm just so pleased you enjoyed it."

"I sure did," Janet told her. "I'm gonna have to look into this Bach guy, get me some CDs."

"I've got his full works," Sam said. "Come over one day, I'll play you some of my favorites. See which ones you like."

"I'd love to," Janet said.

"Saturday!" Sam suggested impulsively. "I'm not doing anything during the day, what about you?"

"Saturday sounds great," Janet said, thrilled to have an excuse to spend more time with her friend. She tried to shake off the feeling of guilt she felt; she knew in her heart of hearts that she wanted more than a friendship with this bewitching young woman, but even just a friendship was enough. For now.

= = =

Within a very short period, Sam and Janet became firm friends, seeing each other at least three times a week outside work. Sam learned from Janet that she had had a short, unhappy marriage with no children, but didn't push for any more information, as she could see that it made Janet very unhappy even to talk about it. She also knew that Janet was close friends with her head nurse Sharon and learned that Sharon had a female partner and two children. So Sam knew from that that Janet was at least not prejudiced against same-sex relationships. She hadn't yet told Janet that she was gay, but she was confident that when she plucked up the courage to do so, Janet wouldn't withdraw her friendship.

= = =

"I can't believe it's Christmas Eve already!" Janet looked out of Sam's apartment window in wonder at the snow falling on the ground. "And we're gonna have a white Christmas by the look of it!"

"Yeah," Sam smiled from her position on the couch. "It's looking real festive."

"That reminds me," Janet said, trying to sound nonchalant. "Sharon and Cora have invited me over to join the family for lunch tomorrow. They know we're good friends, and they've asked if I'll bring you over too. I don't know if you're doing anything, but if not, I'd really like it if you'd come."

"I don't have any plans at all," Sam said. "Apart from Midnight Mass tonight, I always like to go to that. But Sharon hardly knows me. And I haven't even met Cora," she protested.

"She'll love you," Janet said firmly. "And so will the kids. You can show Mikey your motorbike, he'll think you are so cool!" she laughed.

"And he'll be right!" Sam tried not to laugh. "I am cool," she tried to sound confident, but burst out laughing. "Okay, I admit it. I'm a nerd."

"But a very cool nerd," Janet teased.

"An extremely cool nerd," Sam grinned. "Hey, how about it? Come to Midnight Mass with me, I'll take you on my cool bike. We can be cool together."

"Okay," Janet replied impulsively.

"It's not actually at midnight," Sam admitted. "The minister likes to get home in time to hear the midnight bells. So it's 10.30pm to 11.30pm. It's a great church," she wondered if Janet would notice the high proportion of gay couples in the congregation. It might be a good way to let Janet know that she was gay, she mused. She had certainly never lied about it.

"I'll root out my leather jacket," Janet told her friend. "Okay, I must get back to the apartment now, if I don't do some housework, I'll disappear under the dust bunnies. I'll see you tonight?"

"Sure thing," Sam said.

= = =

"That was a lovely service," Janet said. She had really enjoyed the feeling of inclusivity that the church emanated. It was clear to her from early on that there were many same-sex couples in the congregation, and her heart leapt. Maybe Sam was gay, or bi, after all?

"I'm sorry we couldn't take the bike," Sam said sadly. "But it would be dumb in this snow," she unlocked the truck and helped Janet up into the high seat.

"Another time," Janet said. "Though I look a bit of a dork in this leather jacket."

Sam laughed. "I think you look great in it," she said, trying to keep her voice steady. Janet in leather was almost more than she could bear.

By the time they drew up outside Janet's apartment block, it was nearly midnight. "Thank you," Janet said. "It's been great." In the distance, she heard the chime of the church bells. "Midnight," she said dreamily.

"Time to make a Christmas wish," Sam said in a soft voice, looking deep into Janet's eyes.

Janet met her gaze. Was she really seeing what she thought she was seeing? It was now or never, she decided. She took her courage in both hands. "I've got a wish," she said, her voice cracking.

"Oh yeah?" Sam asked. "What is it?"

"I wish," Janet swallowed and took Sam's hand. "I wish, more than anything in this world, that you would kiss me."

Sam looked at her, her heart pounding so loud she was sure that Janet could hear it. "Are you sure?" she asked in a tiny voice.

"More sure than I have ever been," Janet replied, and reached up and caressed Sam's velvet cheek.

Sam leaned forward and very tenderly brushed her lips against Janet's. She kissed her again, this time putting slightly more pressure on. Janet gasped at the soft touch, which was even more beautiful than she had dreamt. Sam reached up and cupped the back of Janet's head tenderly, and pulled her to her again, this time nibbling at her bottom lip. Her tongue darted out and pushed gently against Janet's mouth. Janet opened her mouth slightly and whimpered with desire at the feeling of Sam's tongue against hers. They made out for several minutes, becoming ever more passionate.

Finally, Janet broke away and opened her eyes. She saw the steamed-up windows of the truck, and let out a short bark of laughter. "I think you'd better come in," she said to Sam. "We can't have you driving back in this, you'll never see where you are going."

Sam said nothing, just gazed longingly at Janet, and followed her out of the truck, only remembering to lock it when Janet reminded her.

Wordlessly, Janet led Sam to the small bedroom, where the two women set a new record for stripping off socks, boots, jeans and shirts. In seconds, they were standing before each other in just their underwear. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Sam's voice cracked with desire.

Janet didn't answer her, just reached behind her and released the catch on her bra. Sam gasped at the sight of her heavenly breasts, bigger and fuller than she had ever imagined, with large, dark nipples standing to attention. Janet reached out and took Sam's hand, bringing it to her lips and kissing it tenderly. She then pulled it to her own breast, and moulded Sam's fingers round the pert globe. "Make love to me," she implored. "I can't bear it any longer. Make love to me now, please."

Sam tenderly lifted the smaller woman in her arms and laid her lovingly on the bed. "I've never wanted anybody the way I want you right now," she whispered into Janet's ear.

= = =

As Janet came, just a split second before Sam, she was overwhelmed with a rush of emotions. She had slept with both women and men before, but she had never before reached the heights of ecstasy that Sam had just taken her to. She looked into Sam's eyes, and saw nothing but love and tenderness, and the sight released the dam on her emotions. "Oh God, Sam," she said. "I love you so much. I..." she started to sob, trying to hold it back.

Disconcerted, Sam sat up slightly. "What is it Janet? Did I hurt you?"

"No," Janet said. "God no. That was beautiful. You're so beautiful. Nobody has ever made me feel the way you do," her sobbing increased. "With David, especially recently, it was so different. It was about control I guess. He was in charge. With you..." her words became almost incoherent, "with you... I've never felt more connected to someone else. I... I..."

"Shh," Sam whispered, gathering Janet in her arms and holding her tight. "It's okay, Janet. It's okay. He's gone now. You don't have to think about him any more. Let it go, honey," she rocked her lover gently and lovingly. "Cry all you need to. I'm here with you. I'll always be here. I love you Janet. I'll never let you go."

"Hold me," Janet pleaded, her words coming out in anguished gasps. "Just hold me."

"Always," Sam said gently, "always."

Next: Helping Her Forget