Wise After The Event
by SJSlashfan
URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/ass/sjslashfan/wiseafte.php
Summary: would Sam and Janet ever realize how they felt about each other? A mission gone wrong is just the catalyst they need.
Courage. A simple word, but courage was something that Major Samantha Carter lacked. Well, even she knew that that was not strictly true. She regularly put her life on the line for the sake of the planet, without a second thought. But that was easy to do; the choices were stark, and clearly defined. And the risks were only to her physical being, and she could handle the consequences, whatever they may be.
But telling the person she loved how she felt? No, she didn't have the courage for that. There was too much at stake, she could lose everything that was important to her. And she couldn't bear that.
So she went along her daily routine, never telling, never admitting, never fully facing up to it. Yes, sometimes the loneliness threatened to engulf her, but still she remained silent.
It wasn't just that she could lose her job. What she couldn't bear was the thought that if she admitted her love, it would be rejected. Worse still, she could lose the most important friendship she had ever had. And she could lose Cassie, whom she thought of as her daughter.
For Samantha Carter's love was Janet Frasier. Janet, whose friendship and love, albeit platonic, was the greatest source of comfort to the lonely major. And of course the situation was further complicated by the arrival of Cassie, whom Sam loved as much as if she were her own daughter. So those were the stakes; she could lose her best friend, she could lose Cassie, she could lose her job. Better to keep quiet.
But sometimes, on those regular Saturday afternoons playing chess with Cassie, she would get a glimpse of Janet in the kitchen, up to her elbows in flour and eggs, and she would feel an almost physical ache to hold her. Janet, with her long delicate fingers, her olive skin, her thousand-watt smile, her pert breasts. The ideal woman in a perfect small package.
Janet had told Sam of her unhappy marriage, of her miscarried child, of her fear of repeating the same mistakes. So Sam knew which team Janet played for, and all hopes of a real relationship with this lovely woman were extinguished. But still she looked, still she dreamed; she couldn't help it.
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Janet wondered when it was that her feelings for Sam had changed. Almost from the first moment they met, the women had been firm friends. There was little enough female company in the male-dominated environment at the SGC, so it was natural that the two doctors -- both brilliant scientists in their own right -- would gravitate together. Their bond was further cemented when Sam risked everything to save Cassie, the orphan girl from Hanka. Sam had disobeyed a direct order, and stayed with the girl, comforting her when it seemed clear that they would both be blown to oblivion. Janet had never witnessed an act so selfless, and was astonished when Sam told her later, tearfully, that she felt she had let Cassie down when she really needed her.
But it was after Sam's infestation with Jolinar that Janet first realized how important she was to her. Sam had had a terrible time coming to terms with the fact that Jolinar had died to save her. This was compounded by some harrowing physical symptoms as the symbiote was absorbed into her body, ranging from chills, fever and vomiting to delusions, tremors and muscle spasms. It took nearly three months for Sam to regain her full strength. Cassie had been wonderful during that awful period, sitting for hours with the woman she loved, soothing her, reading to her, loving her.
But Janet knew she had to keep her feelings to herself. Sam was a career soldier, who had never shown any interest in pursuing a relationship with a woman. She had been engaged, albeit briefly, and Janet suspected that she harboured a secret passion for the colonel who was, after all, an immensely attractive man.
So she tried to maintain a clinical detachment when examining Sam before and after missions, she tried not to pay attention to the well-honed body, the strong back, the gently curling tendrils at the back of her long neck. In short, she remained a medical professional, and basked in the friendship that Sam offered freely and joyfully. The two women rejoiced in their shared parentage of Cassie, who in turn adored them both equally. There was too much at stake. Better to keep quiet.
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"Ready to move out then, campers?" bellowed O'Neill in his usual brash fashion. Sam was actually quite looking forward to this mission. It promised interesting results in terms of technology, and looked superb from a cultural point of view, which showed in the excitement on Daniel's face. The MALP was packed with countless pieces of equipment, meters, archeological tomes and more.
The plan was to spend four days, gathering intel on the indigenous civilization. They were a curious race, similar to humans in appearance apart from their much shorter limbs, seemingly very backward in some respects (their weapons mainly comprised bows, arrows and catapults), but in other ways they were very advanced. They had developed a communication system that Sam had yet to fathom; without any obvious radios or anything similar. they were able to get information to villages 20 clicks away. And they apparently knew everything possible about the indigenous plant life, and had developed some pretty powerful poisons that meant that their arrows, used properly, were almost as effective as a P90. So Sam was keen to learn all she could. By all accounts the natives, the Carthudians, were cautiously friendly, so the mission should be rather more relaxing than some SG-1 had recently undertaken.
After two days of taking samples, getting to know the natives, learning about their communications system (based on echoes and sonic impulses too high for the human ear to hear), and analyzing the indigenous plant life, even O'Neill had to admit that the planet had been worth visiting. Despite the trees.
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Suddenly there was a kawoosh as the Gate opened. Immediately wary, Sam, O'Neill and Teal'c pointed their weapons in the direction of the gate (Daniel was in the caves nearby, deciphering some drawings on the walls). Twelve heavily armed Jaffa stepped through, and started firing indiscriminately. The Carthudians returned fire with their ancient weapons, and Sam, Jack and Teal'c with their more modern counterparts. Sam was amazed to see how many Jaffa fell to the Carthudian weapons; that poison must be more effective than she had thought. It was then she spotted Daniel blithely coming out of the caves, seemingly unaware of the battle raging round him. "Daniel!", she cried. The archaeologist turned, at the same time as a Jaffa noticed Daniel, and aimed directly at him. Sam flung herself at Daniel, pushing him out of the firing line, just as O'Neill hit the Jaffa right between the eyes.
"Thanks Sam," said Daniel, as he tried to get up. Her weight was on him, though, and as he gently tried to push her off him, he was horrified to notice an arrow sticking out of her left shoulder. She had got caught in the crossfire. "Been hit," muttered Sam. "Cave." Daniel dragged her to her feet, and they ran unsteadily her back to the cave, where he gently laid her on the floor. She was still conscious, but obviously in a lot of pain. Morphine, thought Daniel. "Got to get it out, no time," said Sam, indistinctly. "Poison spreading."
Daniel knew she was right, but the thought of ripping out the deeply embedded arrow with no pain relief was horrifying. But he knew that was her best chance, so without hesitating, he grasped the shaft firmly and, with one sudden movement, pulled it right out before Sam had a chance to tense with anticipation. She screamed loudly, clutching at the wound. "Let me see it, Sam," asked Daniel tenderly, "we've got to staunch the bleeding." Already blood was pouring between her fingers.
Sam's radio crackled. "Carter, report," barked O'Neill. Daniel took it, "Sam's hit, Jack, we've got to get her back to the infirmary NOW." "The Jaffa are all taken care of," replied the colonel. "Teal'c, dial Earth, we're going back." He then ran to the cave, and blanched at the sight of Sam, blood pouring down her side. As he looked, her eyes rolled to the back of her head, and she slumped in Daniel's arms. His radio crackled. "The DHD is inoperational," said Teal'c. "We are unable to dial out."
"Sit her up," ordered O'Neill. "We've got to stop the bleeding." He took a small medical kit from his pack, and made his way over to Sam, whom Daniel had propped against the wall of the cave. With Daniel's help, he carefully removed her flak jacket, and unbuttoned her shirt. With his knife, he cut the neck of her t-shirt, and cut through her bra strap so he could clearly see the wound. Grateful that she could feel nothing, he carefully cleaned the area, applying pressure with a clean pad to stop the bleeding. "Teal'c, hold this here will you, while I find something to hold it on." The big man did as he was told, showing a tenderness that his strength belied as he held his fallen comrade in his arms.
At this point, Daniel noticed Korep, the apparent leader of the Carthudians, who was hovering nervously in the entrance to the cave. He and Daniel had developed a tentative friendship over the past couple of days, and he was clearly agitated at the turn of events. Daniel went over to talk to him, optimistic that he would know of an antidote to the poison.
Meanwhile, the colonel had found enough clean bandages and was expertly strapping Sam's shoulder. He had dealt with more field injuries than he liked to remember, so knew exactly what he was doing. The poison was another matter, though. He gave her a large dose of antibiotic in the hope that that would help. His 2IC was already flushed, and brushing his hand against her forehead he thought he detected the beginning of a fever.
Sam's eyes flickered. "Sir," she said, "wha's happening?" "Freakin' Jaffa," replied O'Neill, "you were caught in the crossfire. How ya doin'?" "I'm fine, just a little sore. Help me up." "Nuh uh, you're staying there, at least until Daniel's found an antidote from Korep. Teal'c, get some blankets, let's make this place a bit more welcoming."
In truth, Sam's shoulder was extremely painful. She could also feel the poison spreading, and was dizzy and nauseous, so she conceded the point, and allowed the colonel to wrap the blankets securely around her.
Daniel called O'Neill over, and explained gravely that there was no antidote. The poison, it emerged, had been specifically developed to target the Jaffa and the Gou'auld, and was expected to be harmless against humans. As he was about to protest, Daniel told him that Korep had said the only way the Carthudians knew was to target the naquadah carried in the bloodstream of the Jaffa and the Gou'auld; they didn't know about the Tok'ra, and Korep had been appalled to learn that Sam's prior infestation by Jolinar put her at risk. "The good news," said Daniel, "is that the level of naquadah in Sam's blood is considerably lower than that in a Jaffa or Gou'auld, so at least it wasn't instantly fatal. But we've got to get her some proper medical aid as soon as we can."
The colonel acknowledged the wisdom of Daniel's words. It was ironic, he thought bitterly, that the only one among them who had a hope in hell of fixing a damaged DHD was Carter, and she was hardly in a state to do that right now. He was going to have to wait until this evening; SG-1 were due to report in four hours, and it was standard practice for the SGC to dial the planet if contact had not been made. In the meantime, they had to keep Sam warm and get her to take fluids. They had enough antibiotics in their kit to give her two more doses, so he decided to give her another one now, and one later.
As he injected the antibiotic, he explained to Sam that all would be well. "We'll have a med team here in a few hours, just got to clean you up nice and fresh so they don't think we couldn't be bothered to look after ya." Sam smiled weakly, and allowed "her guys" to remove her shirt and sponge her down before helping her into a clean shirt. "Sleep," she whispered, "jus' need to shut my eyes for a while." Teal'c lay her down on the blankets, slightly raised to inhibit the blood flow from the wound, and held her hand. Her eyes closed almost immediately, but her grip on Teal'c's hand remained firm. He was disconcerted to realize that his Major Carter was shivering, despite the heat coming off her skin. Carefully, he pulled her into his lap, and held her in his strong arms.
Korep came back into the cave, clutching an armful of plants. After a short discussion, Daniel explained that the plants could be boiled up to make a compress, which should help to leech some of the poison from the wound. "It's not a cure," he said, "but it can't hurt, and should help to slow the spread." Fifteen minutes later, the compress was ready, so Teal'c gently woke Sam to explain what was happening. Her eyes were clouded, and the pain was clearly extreme. She nodded agreement, trying not to wince as the compress was applied and the wound re-dressed.
O'Neill then gave her the last shot of antibiotics. He looked at his watch. With luck, the SGC should be dialling in soon. At the very least Janet would be able to advise on the best thing to do next.
"SG-1 this is Hammond, come in please," was the most welcome sound any of them had heard in a long time. The colonel succinctly explained what had happened, and was immediately put through to Janet. "I'll be there right away," said Janet, rather more sharply than she had intended. "Keep her still and slightly raised."
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Janet had expected an argument from General Hammond as to the wisdom of her going to the planet, but fortunately he was happy for her to go, as long as she was accompanied by Colonel Jefferies, the leader of SG-3. "We'll dial in every hour to start with," said the general, who had a very soft spot for Major Carter and wanted everything possible to be done for her. "Just let us know what you need, it'll be there." Janet nodded her thanks, and suddenly felt weak at the knees with the reality of what had happened. What would she do if she couldn't help Sam? How would she face Cassandra?
Janet and Jefferies stepped through the event horizon less than half an hour after the SGC had dialled in, followed by a MALP loaded with medical supplies. Daniel was there to greet her, and after a brief hug, took her straight to the caves. He was very distressed, especially as Sam had been hit saving him. "Not your fault, Daniel," said Janet, who guessed how he was feeling. "I know Sam won't be blaming you."
Reaching the caves, Janet rushed over to Sam's side. She was still being supported by Teal'c. As she examined her, Jefferies and O'Neill erected the traveling bed and brought it over. Teal'c gently laid her on it, and Janet tucked a blanket round her. "Cold," whispered Sam. "I know you are, honey, but we can't let you get too hot, not until we get this fever under control."
Janet was worried. Without access to the lab, she couldn't isolate the poison, so didn't know how to counteract it. She put her on an antibiotic IV, and cleaned and re-dressed her wound. She was impressed with the job that O'Neill had done, no further infection had set in, for which she was grateful.
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Through her pain and fever, Sam was only half aware of what was happening. What was Janet doing offworld? Or maybe she was dreaming. Maybe she was dying, and hallucinating the most important person to her? She reached out and grasped the medic's hand. "Jan't," she said weakly. "S'that really you?" Janet smoothed her hand over Sam's forehead. "It's me alright, my turn for house calls today." Sam knew it was serious, if Janet was joking there must be real cause for concern. Janet rubbed her arm. "You'll be okay, hon. We just need to work out what this is, and we'll have you up and about in no time." Sam nodded, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. Was this really how it ended? Dying on an planet thousands of light years away from home, with the love of her life sitting only inches away, completely unaware of how she felt. A wave of pain washed over her, and she cried out involuntarily. Janet pulled her into her arms, murmuring soothing noises into her hair, as she shook with the pain. Finally the spasm subsided, and Janet started to lower her back on to the blankets. "No," said Sam. "Stay with me. Need you. Love you."
The radio crackled. "Good news, SG-1," said Hammond. "We've found a control crystal on PR9-871, and we think it'll work on your DHD. We're just getting a team together to bring it through. Siler says we should have you back online within the hour. Hammond out."
"You hear that hon?" asked Janet, who was still reeling with Sam's admission. "Soon be back, we'll fix you up in no time." It was none too soon, Janet realized, Sam's fever was rising. She really needed to get her on dialysis while the lab analyzed her blood. Her breathing was also becoming shallow and rapid, a bad sign. Janet wondered whether it was the fever that had made her tell Janet she loved her, and determined to put no pressure on her once (please God) she recovered. But if she were to tell her again when she was well, Janet would go to her joyfully.
Ten minutes later, the Gate sprang to life again, and three of the SGC's top scientists came through. "Geeks," muttered the colonel, who nevertheless was unable to hide his glee at their arrival. A short half-hour after that, and they were dialling Earth. Teal'c gathered a by-now unconscious Major Carter in his arms, and strode through, with Janet just behind him.
A gurney awaited them at the other side, and in a matter of moments, Janet was hooking Sam up to an oxygen supply in the infirmary, and barking orders at her staff to take bloods, instructing exactly what analyses were needed. Sam opened her eyes, and looked at Janet through a haze of pain. "Feel sick," she said. Janet carefully raised her up and placed a bowl in front of her. She rubbed Sam's back gently as she was copiously sick, sobbing with the pain that the retching caused. Finally, when her stomach muscles were screaming in pain, the nausea subsided and the blackness claimed her.
"We need her on dialysis NOW," said Janet urgently. Within minutes she was hooked up. "How's she doing, doc?" asked O'Neill who had, unbeknown to her, followed them into the infirmary, closely followed by Daniel and Teal'c. SG-1 really was like a family, realized Janet, and these three men were like brothers to Sam. Looking at the colonel and Daniel, she realized something else, and it became clear that while there was deep love between O'Neill and Sam, it was purely platonic. Her heart gave a small leap. "I'm not sure yet, Sir, we're doing all we can. Once we get the results, that'll help us to know what we're dealing with. And then we can throw all we've got at it. In the meantime, the dialysis should help reduce the fever. I'm giving her a sedative too, sleep's the best thing for her right now."
SG-1 took it in turns to sit with Sam throughout the night, holding her when she woke and became agitated. At about 5am, Warner came into the infirmary, and beckoned Janet over. Janet came back after a few moments, a broad grin on her face. "They've worked out what's in the poison," she told the guys. "We think we know the best way to treat it. I'm starting her on a course of drugs now, which should have an effect within a few hours."
"Hear that, Carter," O'Neill nudged his 2IC's arm. "Doc's gonna fill you full of some lovely drugs, you'll be high as a kite in no time." Sam nodded weakly, unsuccessfully attempting a smile.
Janet settled herself in the chair next to her patient. She wanted to be the first to know if the treatment was effective. So she was pleased when, a few hours later, Sam seemed much more settled, and had fallen into a peaceful sleep. By 9am, her fever had fallen significantly, and her colour improved. Janet took up her wrist to confirm the readings, that her pulse was almost back to normal, when she saw Sam's blue eyes looking up at her, with an unreadable expression. Sam pulled her down so that she could whisper in her ear. "I meant it, you know," she said. "Told myself that if it was the last thing I did, I would tell you how I felt. Thought my number was up. I know you don't feel the same way, but I just wanted you to know." She fell back onto the pillows, exhausted with the effort. Janet shook her arm gently. "I do feel the same way. I have for months. I've dreamed about this moment, I never thought it would happen." She then, very tenderly, kissed Sam on the lips. "We'll talk about it properly when you're back up to full speed."
Sam nodded and drifted off again. That was the pattern over the next few days, she would be awake for a short while, and would fast become exhausted. But her temperature continued to drop, until at last it was normal. Finally, after two weeks, Janet promised to let her out of the infirmary, on the condition that she came to stay with her and Cassie for a further two weeks while she regained her strength.
Sam was uncharacteristically nervous as she got into Janet's car for the journey to her house. They hadn't spoken properly since their declaration a couple of weeks again, and she was beginning to wonder if she had dreamt it. Janet insisted on carting in all the bags alone, while Sam sat on the couch. Once she had finished, she sat down next to Sam, and took up her hand. "May I?" she asked, her eyes twinkling. Sam nodded mutely. Janet softly kissed Sam full on the lips. She tasted so sweet, Sam reached up and, pulling her closer, began to explore Janet's mouth with her tongue. She moaned with pleasure, and reached under the doctor's shirt, delighting in the soft skin on her back. Laughing, they broke off. "We've got to tell Cassie first," said Sam, "and if she's not happy with it, we'll have to stop. She's suffered so much, we can't do this to her if she doesn't like it."
So when Cassie came home from school that afternoon, Janet and Sam sat her down and very earnestly -- and nervously -- explained the situation to her. "But it doesn't have to go any further if you're uncomfortable with it," insisted Sam. "You're the most important person in this deal." Cassie barked with laughter. "Uncomfortable with it?" she said, laughing, "I've been waiting for EVER for you two to realize. On my planet, two women falling in love is seen as completely normal, frankly I never understood why you weren't already together."
It's always easy to be wise after the event...
