I Am My Beloved's 1

Love, Rules And Universal Laws

by Ten9

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/ast/ten9/lrandul01.php
Summary: Badly injured, Sam falls through a quantum mirror and into a reality where Janet Fraiser stills lives

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter ran, limping, for the open doorway for all she was worth. Chunks of marble blew off the wall as she ran along it, grunting in pain as one of the energy blasts finally caught her in the back of her right shoulder. The impact made her stumble forward and she gritted her teeth as she reached out with her left hand, now her good hand, and grabbed the doorjamb, swinging herself back into the large hall. She stumbled again as her momentum flung her into a marble statue of a man dressed for battle. She and Daniel had been here less than an hour ago, and after he had declared the bulk of the 250 or so items on display similar to some ancient Chinese dynasty or other, they had made a hasty retreat when they heard distant gunfire and bolted from the place to look for Teal'c and Mitchell.

Lt. Col. Mitchell, in his inimitable style, had bungled first contact with the people of this world, and Sam and Daniel had literally run straight into him and Teal'c as they ran down a dirt road, barely dodging the energy blasts from their pursuers who were only a hundred yards away and gaining ground fast.

"We tried zatting 'em," Mitchell breathlessly explained when the four took cover behind some rocks, "but they have a kind of Goa'uld-like shielding that protects them from the blast." They had been pinned down for over twenty minutes, Sam and the others hugging the rocks to avoid the energy blasts every time she tried calling out that they were only explorers on their world.

She finally turned to Teal'c; "We need to get out of here before they get reinforcements in behind us."

They agreed to make a break for it and again separated into pairs, but Sam got separated from Daniel, taking refuge in the great hall that appeared to serve as a museum of sorts, with a large collection of statues and artifacts, the latter seeming to come from a wide variety of at least technologically familiar cultures. She gasped in pain with every step, her breathing had become rapid and shallow and she panted as she wended her way among the statuary. Grateful her trigger finger still worked, she gripped her P90 with a bloody hand that was throbbing and swollen; she had fallen on it when she got hit with the first blast from her attackers' energy weapon and the last two fingers were broken. The searing pain that had ripped through her thigh had been so intense that her brain seemed unable to acknowledge it completely and it was only because of that she was able to turn and lay down some fire, scattering her pursuers long enough to scramble to her feet and run for the building once again.

She ducked behind a marble statue of a woman affecting a dance pose, her hands held delicately to one side. The weapons these people used made a sound like the combination of a shotgun and a zat when fired, but when the blast made impact it bored a small, laser-like hole straight through Kevlar and flesh alike. Oddly, the blasts didn't cauterize as they passed through Sam's thigh and into her shoulder and the wounds bled freely.

Crap, she thought as she heard the footfalls of her attackers entering the building. She didn't have time to either tie off the bleeding in her leg or quiet her breathing enough to conceal her position, so she tightened the grip on her weapon and pushed herself away from the wall, again laying down fire as she struggled to duck behind another statue.

All she could do at this point was hug the perimeter and try to make it to the far side of the room closest to the stargate they had come through, although the gate was still a quarter mile away and Sam had no idea how she was going to leave the building once she got to the other side of it. As she crossed to the next statue one of her pursuers appeared from behind a pedestal with a large bronze urn and fired, catching Sam on her left side and she cried out as she spun, falling to the floor. She fired her P90 wildly, and using her good hand she pulled herself along the floor, behind a stone pedestal that offered little in the way of cover for someone lying prone. Groaning, she gritted her teeth against the pain and pulled at her blood-soaked pant leg in an attempt to curl up behind the marble, only dully aware of how cold she was. Her hands shook and her teeth chattered as she pulled her weapon up to fire again.

I'm not gonna' make it out of here, she thought distantly as she struggled to stand one last time. She fell back against the wall and readied her weapon, her vision blackening dangerously at the edges. She was about to call out once more to the men pursuing her when part of a large, crystal light structure suspended from the ceiling suddenly exploded and crystal shards rained down in a shower that blanketed the room. Sam had hit the large array when she wildly fired her weapon and she could hear the men scream in pain and terror. The bits of crystal shrapnel were sharp and Sam was bleeding from dozens of small cuts that covered every exposed inch of her that wasn't protected by either Kevlar or webbed nylon. Every breath was now accompanied by a painful groan, and she gripped the edge of the statue's pedestal and cautiously pulled herself forward, her bloody hand gripping her P90. Peering across the room, and trying to blink the blood from her eyes that ran from the cuts on her scalp and forehead, she could only catch a fleeting glimpse of the men as they ran.

Not stopping for fear of falling down for the last time, she desperately pulled herself around to the front of the statue, towards the doorway leading to the gate in the center of her rapidly darkening vision. So she didn't notice when the dull glow given off from what was left of the shattered light array suddenly grew to a blinding brilliance, although her hearing, oddly, was still quite acute when a loud snap made her flinch. The sound had come from what remained of the crystal structure, and in spite of her injuries Sam had half turned toward the sound when the entire ceiling exploded. Instinctively she tried to throw up her hands to protect herself, her brain only distantly registering the shards of crystal and stone peppering her as she stumbled and fell back. She was only dimly aware of her body as it pin-wheeled to the left, and as the back of her hand sharply impacted with the cool, smooth surface of the artifact on display behind her, she disappeared.

***

Daniel looked in horror at the woman lying in a bloody heap at his feet. He stood open-mouthed as he looked from the woman on the floor of his lab back to the mirror. The glass had darkened the instant the woman had passed through the quantum mirror and for a long moment after Daniel stood in stunned amazement before scrambling to the phone on the far side of the room, tripping over his feet in his rush to call for help,

"This is Daniel Jackson!" he shouted, "I have a medical emergency in my lab!" He repeated the information then after hearing the acknowledgement he added, "Hurry!" before slamming the phone back on its' wall mount and rushing back to the woman's side. He was careful not to turn her onto her back for fear of injuring her further; instead he knelt on the floor at her side, intending only to make sure she was still breathing. As he gingerly placed his hand on her forehead to push the hair away from the blood streaked face he breathed, "Oh my god.... Oh my god, it can't be, it can't be, it can't be!!!!!"

He knelt there, frozen, his hand still on Samantha Carter's forehead, the other firmly clamped over his mouth until the medics arrived.

~

Consciousness always returned slowly, Sam was always first dimly aware of the harsh, fluorescent light before anything else and this time was no different. She tried to open her eyes and lift her head to no avail and she floated for a time, feeling the odd, yet familiar feeling of detachment that always accompanied her return to the world via the infirmary.

I... I'm... I'm thirsty, she thought dumbly, again attempting to open her eyes and raise her head.

"Not yet, Sam..." A hand rested lightly on her bandaged arm and she groaned softly, "Oh jeez, I'm sorry, but just lie still, okay?" Daniel spoke softly but she still recognized the voice, "Uh, nurse? Could you please get the doctor for me?"

Sam made another attempt to open her eyes and succeeded this time, though she still squinted against the fluorescents. Unable to turn her head she attempted a smile and croaked,

"Hey." The utterance was barely recognizable.

"Hey right back atcha'" Daniel softly enthused, "Just be still for a bit, okay? As you've probably guessed, you're in the infirmary." With both hands on the bedrail, he leaned down into what he hoped was her eye line, "It's so good to see you, Sam."

Her eyes closed and the small smile faded along with her consciousness for a few moments until she felt cool fingers trace a line down her face. The caress was so gentle and familiar,

Her eyes fluttered open briefly, "Janet?' She whispered softly before slipping back in to the void.

Daniel placed both hands on the brunette's small square shoulders and gave them a warm squeeze, "No matter what universe she comes from, Samantha Carter will always know your touch." He stepped from behind her and sat back down in the chair.

Reaching to gently clasp the smaller hand in his, he gazed with utter sadness at the two gold bands he had helped design on the ring finger of her right hand. Then, tilting his head to peer intently at her he asked, "How are you holding up with all this?"

Janet Fraiser stood at Sam's bedside, the back of her fingers still resting lightly against the battered cheek. She drew a long, slow breath in a vain attempt to keep her emotions from spilling over but one lone, traitorous tear slipped from her eye and down her face as she turned toward him,

"I don't know." Her voice trembled and she moved her hand from Sam's cheek to grasp the bedrail, "It's too much, Daniel... I just don't know."

~

The next time Sam opened her eyes Daniel was still sitting by her bed, his head bent studiously over a large book.

"Hey," Sam said, oblivious that she had said that on awakening three times now. Daniel smiled and chuckled,

"Hey right back atcha', Sam."

"Have some water?" Sam croaked again, her voice a hoarse whisper.

"Yeah, sure," he quickly rose to set his book aside and poured her a glass from a pitcher on the bedside table. "You've been having ice chips but Janet says a little water is okay now."

He had pressed the button to raise the bed for Sam to drink and she froze as she reached for the glass with her good, albeit now heavily bandaged hand.

"Janet? Janet Fraiser?" She repeated hoarsely; her face either a mask of pain or fear, Daniel couldn't decide which.

"Uh, yeah. Sam, I don't know where you were offworld, and I'm still not sure how I stumbled onto your location, but you passed through a quantum mirror and ended up in a different version of the universe.... Do you have a Janet Fraiser in your version of the universe?" He asked the question gently, feeling as though he were carefully picking his way through an emotional minefield.

Sam barely nodded her head, pushing the glass away, untouched, "She died, three years ago. She..." But the quaver in her voice betrayed her so she stopped, closing her eyes and drawing a slow, deep breath. Unable to prevent her chin from quivering she whispered, "I miss her..."

Daniel nodded past a growing lump in his throat and gently reached under the short sleeve on her hospital gown to softly grasp her arm, needing to touch a part of her that wasn't bandaged, "You and... you and your Janet were married in your world too?"

~

"What a nightmare," Mitchell exhaled noisily, tapping his pen agitatedly on the pad, "So how are they doing now?"

General Hammond and the remaining members of SG1 sat at one end of the long table in the briefing room, Daniel sat next to Teal'c, and he shrugged,

"Who knows? Janet's putting on a brave face, but it's only been three weeks since our Sam died... I think she's confused as hell, and the new Sam is just as confused if not more so. I don't even know if she really understood that she doesn't have to worry about entropic cascade when I explained to her... you know, why. But the mirror she came through on her side was either destroyed or at least damaged, as ours remains dark and unresponsive when I try to dial back to that location. I'm not sure what reality she came from, let alone if the SGC where she came from has another mirror and will try to get her back...." He sighed, "It's only been a couple of days, and she's in really rough shape, but she did tell me they were on a planet designated P3X-384 and, to make a long story short; the inhabitants there didn't extend the welcome mat which was followed by lots of shooting. This Sam got separated from the others, and ended up in this... museum, or warehouse or whatever, to take shelter from the angry villagers and after more shooting, some sort of artificial light source exploded and that is where her memory ends."

He held up a finger for emphasis, "And this is what I saw; I had just finished checking in with Alternate Daniel 24 and was dialing around to see if I could find some place new when I hit on this Sam's location." Unconsciously slipping into storytelling mode, Daniel gestured with his hands, "the mirror suddenly flashed with an arc of bright light and I could see into what appeared to be a large room. But the image the mirror produced was kind of blurry and I think I heard people shouting, distantly." All eyes were riveted on Daniel as he spoke, "The image started to clear.... I couldn't see anyone but I could hear," his voice faltered at the memory, "breathing. She was in so much pain; I could hear it.... Anyway, then the mirror went dark and when I looked back down at the remote the mirror suddenly flashed back on again, a blinding flash and there was Sam, on my floor."

"Does she want to go back to her reality?" General Hammond asked.

Daniel shrugged, "I don't know, sir. She didn't really give an answer when I asked her, although she seemed definite about willing to stay here, in this reality."

They remained quiet for a moment before General Hammond placed both hands palm down on the table with a decisive thump, "Well, I am not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. If this Colonel Carter is truly unable to return to her own reality I, for one, will be damn grateful to have her here. Losing our Colonel Carter was a tremendous loss, not just to Dr. Fraiser but the SGC as well as this entire damn planet." The general had spoken with some fervor and Vala, seated on Daniel's the other side added,

"Here, Here."

"Indeed." Teal'c stoically chimed his approval.

"So," said Mitchell, "this Carter will simply rejoin SG1 when she recovers?"

"I doubt it will be simple, no." Daniel shook his head, "This Sam will have to endure quantum integration, and if what Kawalsky went through is any benchmark then she should start getting our Sam's memories starting tomorrow if not today...."

They would have expected Sam to begin remembering the life of the deceased Samantha Carter within three days, giving Daniel only short conversations during that time with this Sam until Janet told them her best guess at staving off the memories for a short period was to keep her under sedation, giving her body some time to heal from the battering and blood loss she had suffered. When Kawalsky had appeared through the mirror five years before he had chosen to stay, his own reality destroyed by the Goa'uld. But while his experience of quantum integration, the assimilating of their deceased Kawalsky's memories, was intense he was also in perfect health at the time, and Janet feared for this Sam's recovery; trying to integrate the past of her Sam while in such a weakened state. Janet would keep her under sedation for three days, taking another two days to slowly wake her.

Daniel continued, "Janet says the physical anomalies; the scars and whatnot found on this Sam Carter are nearly identical to our Sam, and from what this Sam's told me about her SGC's history, her reality sounds pretty much the same as ours...." His voice abruptly faded, deliberately stopping himself from revealing that this other Sam had told him she had not been married to Janet and that in her reality same-sex marriages were, in fact, illegal and that such relationships ended military careers. He would leave that to Sam and Janet to sort out.

"Uh, anyway, when she recovers we can talk some more and I can see what experiences they've had that we haven't... compare notes. Maybe she can come up with some recommendations for good, productive gate addresses and help us weed out the bad, dangerous ones from our database."

"Yeah," Mitchell murmured, "like that last one."

"Yes," Daniel agreed, his voice equally low, "like that one."

~

"Sam?" The voice was warm, yet tentative and Sam opened her blue eyes to take in warm, brown ones,

"Hey," she smiled, her speech still slightly slurred, "I've missed you."

Janet smiled back, relaxing a little, "Are you going to say that every time I wake you up?"

"Yeah, if that's okay. I understand I've been a little repetitive lately." Sam realized Janet's warm hand was gently clasped around her wrist, and warm fingers rested lightly on her pulse. She struggled to turn her hand to clasp Janet's in her own and winced at the stiffness there.

Janet understood the intent and quickly shifted her hand around to clasp Sam's. She opened her mouth to speak and abruptly clamped her lips together; she had nearly blurted out, "Sweetheart..." She closed her eyes for a moment and breathed in quietly through her nose, Godammit! She swore silently, was it always going to be this hard? Nearly every time she opened her mouth to speak to this Sam she had to stop herself from beginning every damn sentence with "hon", or "sweetheart". When she brought Sam to the ICU from surgery Janet had walked a circle around the bed, slowly tucking her in until she reached the other side where automatically, as she had always done to her Sam in the past, she leaned down to kiss this Sam on the temple, whispering, "Rest now, love, then come back to me." Janet had nearly burst into tears at the slip, grateful this Sam had still been groggy and the nurse and orderlies had already left the room.

"Sam," she began again, "I need to start the sedation now; this is day two and it's time to put you under so we can delay the onset of quantum integration, okay?"

"Okay." Sam replied, still smiling.

"Do you have any questions?"

"About a million, yeah."

Janet smiled back, this Sam Carter was still Sam Carter, she thought. Aloud, she said, "When you wake up we'll have plenty of time to talk."

"Promise?" Sam asked, gripping Janet's hand, suddenly anxious.

"I promise." Janet looked down at her battered face and smiled, blinking at the sudden moisture in her eyes.

"Will you stay until I fall asleep?" She asked in a voice that sounded small and vulnerable.

"Of course," Janet replied with that all so familiar tone of firm reassurance, "and I'll be here when you wake up too." Adding in a softer tone, "I'll never be far from you, Sam, okay?"

"Okay." Sam relaxed her grip on Janet's hand; that was all she needed to know... for now.

Reluctantly, Janet let go of her hand and turned to the bank of IV fluids that would regulate Sam's level of sedation and hydration. She carefully set the flow meter on the IV monitor then, without conscious effort, simultaneously pressed the button to lower the bed and reached with her other hand to pull the chair next to it. Sam marveled silently at how smoothly she moved, unaware of just how many times Janet had performed this act at the other Sam's bedside in this reality.

Sam's eyelids drooped and Janet watched as she struggled to keep them open. Oh, screw this, she thought and quickly dropped the bed rail. She sat on the edge of the bed and reached across Sam to lean on her left hand, freeing her right to stroke fingers through soft, blond hair,

"It's okay, Sam." She murmured, "Close your eyes." Obediently, Sam's eyes closed, and Janet leaned close, closing her own, "I'm right here." She whispered and placed a soft kiss on her temple. She left her lips to rest there, letting the warmth that permeated them invoke a dreamlike sensation. For this one moment, she begged silently, let this reality be a world where my Sam never left. Where I never had to hold my dying Sam on the gateroom floor. Where my sobs never turned to screams of agony that never seemed to stop.

One last indulgence, she thought as she breathed in this Sam's scent, "Rest now, love, then come back to me."

***

"I'm telling you General, this is the only conclusion we can draw, reasonable or otherwise. We must retrieve the mirror at all costs, and we need to do it now."

General Landry held up a hand to stop him, "I am aware of the situation, Dr. Jackson. But you know how fragile our relationship with the Zhang people is right now. I admit your conclusions are probably correct but we must still proceed with great deference."

Daniel gripped the hair on both sides of his head and pulled, drawing a deep breath to calm himself, although that was admittedly getting harder and harder to do with each passing day.

"Doctor Jackson," Col. Mitchell addressed the man pacing near the window that overlooked the gateroom, "even if she went through the mirror she couldn't have survived unless she got immediate medical treatment, and would that have likely happened if the mirror in the other reality dumped her in that same hall?" He looked first to Dr. Lee then the general, "Isn't that how it works?"

Dr. Lee shrugged, "Well, not really, no. From what I can gather, and this is just a guess on my part, the mirror was likely off and it was the power surge from the crystal light structure that turned it on. From what we can determine there were at least 3 other artifacts in that hall that were activated as well. But where she ended up is anybody's guess."

It had taken Daniel and the general nearly a week of negotiation with the leaders of the Zhang world via the gate and a MALP before convincing them their intrusion was an act of exploration only and not a covert mission preceding an attack. But the alliance was an uneasy one as members of the Zhang guard helped SGC members clear the building of debris, the latter only being allowed back onto their world to look for Sam and nothing else. When their search revealed a horrifying blood trail that ended abruptly at the quantum mirror Daniel was speechless. Mitchell was right, unless Sam had gotten immediate medical treatment she likely would have bled to death on the mirror's other side, and he had stared despondently at the bloody floor in front of the mirror as Dr. Lam collected samples for DNA testing.

To no one's surprise, the blood had been Sam's, but a blood sample wasn't the only thing collected and brought through the gate that day. Daniel had stolen the remote unit that controlled the mirror, and he was determined to bring the mirror back as well and continue the search.

He set his jaw, "I don't care anymore; we need that mirror and we need it now. That collection of artifacts is really just a museum, a collection of art and other objects stolen via their stargate from other worlds. Whenever they decided a weapon, or a tool or whatever was deemed useless to them it wound up in the hall, on display as nothing more than a curiosity.... They'd likely never even notice if we just took the mirror."

Vala was seated next to Teal'c at the long table, and as they both turned to him she murmured approvingly,

"Mmm, petty theft.... Now that's my Daniel."

"I seriously doubt the Zhangs would consider any theft petty...." Teal'c intoned, raising an eyebrow at her.

Daniel returned to his seat, "General, please, why would we maintain an alliance with these people anyway? They are not a technologically advanced society, all the technology they have they stole from someone else, they don't even know how to repair their weapons when they break, they just steal more.... Please," Daniel pleaded, "let's just grab it and lock out their gate address from the computer." Daniel stared hard at the general and blinking furiously, drew a deep breath. He wasn't able to keep the lump from forming in his throat when his mind conjured an image of Sam's dead body lying on the other side of the mirror, and he loudly cleared his throat.

Landry looked to Mitchell who shrugged, "Why not? He's right, what do we lose if we piss these people off?"

Landry scowled at him, "Colonel," he growled and shook his head impatiently, "off the record, I agree with you, but this is not...." He threw up his hands, cursing silently, "fine, go."

Daniel and the rest of SG1 bolted from the room.

***

Janet stood at Sam's bedside, dimly aware that her feet were killing her. She had spent most of the three days she had kept this other Sam under sedation standing here, trying desperately to wrap her brain around how to proceed.

Because physics had some sort of drive to find balance and cohesion in all universes, had her Sam still been alive this Sam would have succumbed to entropic cascade and would be dead now instead of lying here in her infirmary. Instead, because her wife of eight years had died a month ago, this other Sam Carter would begin to remember her Sam's life as she had lived it in this reality. She would become her Sam.

Was that really possible? Janet reached to the control to lower her patient's bed closer to the floor so she could see her as she sat in the chair and quietly, she moved the chair against the bed so she could lean against it while she sat. She softly took the other Sam Carter's fingers in her hand, stilling her thoughts for a moment as she studied the cuts, scrapes and bruises that marred them. Gently grasping the two fingers that had been broken, she checked them for circulation, gently bending and massaging the stiffened and swollen digits. A nurse had taped the broken fingers to splints while Sam was still in surgery, and a few days later Janet found herself dripping tears onto them as she carefully cut through the tape to remove the splints, sniffing loudly as she gently massaged the fingers, batting away the tears one-handed as, embarrassed, she had quickly checked to see if either the sedated woman or anyone else had seen her lapse of control.

Aside from that, I've done really well so far, she thought. Cassie was away at college so Janet had stayed in their quarters on the base. Although she really only went there when forced either by exhaustion or threatened with betrayal by her emotions. To the shock of both Teal'c and Daniel, both were surprised when they didn't have to intervene themselves and on her own she had sought counseling to help her sort through it all. As if that's possible, she snorted inwardly. General Hammond had been kind and generous, arranging for a psychiatrist with a top security clearance to come to the base on a daily basis to talk with Janet. But even though she was grateful for the man's help, she had spent most of her time sitting here at this woman's bedside and her confidence that everything would somehow be okay had completely eroded. There really was no one who could have helped her through this. No, that's not true; she chastised herself, if it hadn't been for daily phone conversations with Cassie... and the unflagging support of Daniel, and Teal'c, and most recently Vala.... There never was a tighter family of people who weren't actually related to each other, as her Sam once said.

Her Sam, and soon, this other Sam would remember saying that at Janet's last birthday party. Would this Sam even want to become her Sam?

Because of the secrecy that surrounded the stargate program all offworld casualties were officially recorded as having taken place somewhere on earth, either by accident or something else. When their Kawalsky was lost to them offworld, his wife was told he had "presumably" died in a secret combat operation in Central America, his body unrecoverable. When the other Kawalsky had come through the mirror and humbly asked for refuge in their reality, Hammond had readily agreed, but after Kawalsky had assimilated the life memories of the deceased Kawalsky and he had been thoroughly debriefed came the matter of how to reintroduce him to both his wife and his life. As her Sam had explained it to her, Kawalsky's wife was officially approached by General Hammond who informed her that her husband had been found in the jungles of Guatemala, in good health and on his way home. The reunited couple had been ecstatic, both had received counseling to help them with the transition and yet they had separated within six months. Kawalsky was now working for General O'Neill and apparently happy, but that knowledge only filled Janet with dread. This Sam had not been married to the Janet in her reality. What if they had been together but it didn't work out? Janet thought back to the many arguments she and her Sam had when Sam worked too much, or Janet did. And now she had to wake this Sam. What if....

Janet's eyes suddenly filled with tears and she placed trembling fingers over her lips as if to stop the flood of emotion there and softly cleared her throat. She sniffed firmly, but a small sob broke from her anyway and she quickly rose, striding from the infirmary, retreating to her quarters, the only place she would allow herself to cry.

~

Daniel and Teal'c were on their way to the infirmary to check on Sam when they saw Janet's diminutive form rapidly retreating down the hallway.

"Uh," Daniel touched Teal'c lightly on the arm to stop him, "why don't you go ahead and I'll go be with Janet for a bit?"

Teal'c nodded formally and continued to the infirmary and Daniel quietly trotted after Janet, catching up with her just as she opened the door.

"Janet...."

She quickly turned to him and held up a hand to stop him, "Daniel, please, not right now." Her nose and eyes were red as she backed into her quarters, furiously swiping at the tears that streaked her face.

"I know," he said gently as he pressed forward, determined, "Janet, please let me in."

He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. As soon as he drew Janet in a close hug she broke completely and clung to him, weeping.

***

"Ah, yes, thank you again." Daniel gave a small, formal bow to the commander of the Zhang guard.

"It is unfortunate that you did not find your companion." The man gave an equally formal bow, "but now, at least, the new alliance forged between our people will provide us both with new technologies, and new weapons to protect us both from our enemies. It is my hope..."

As he spoke Daniel looked past him to the Air Force personnel making their way to the gate. They carried the equipment brought to this world to help them remove the debris in order to look for Sam. But now the larger cases, carried on a motorized platform transporting their pneumatic lifts and tools, also contained the quantum mirror and as many samples of the shattered crystal array they could collect, all of it concealed by a large tarp. Daniel plastered a huge smile on his face he hoped looked sincere as the last of the personnel approached the gate.

"I look forward to our next encounter." Daniel lied, "and thank you again for your assistance in this grave matter. It is also my hope..."

As the first of the personnel passed, the commander turned and held up his hand, "A moment!" He called, stopping the short procession. He turned to Daniel, "My apologies," he said, "but I must check your equipment before you leave, our artifacts are precious to us."

Daniel could feel panic surge in his veins and he reeled back a fraction, "Wh-wh-what?" He exploded, hoping his outburst sounded more like outrage rather than abject terror, "How dare you imply..."

"My dear Commander," Vala purred from behind him, "please pay no heed to our scientist. But he is the most respected and dedicated among our people and of the highest moral integrity." She stepped around him as she spoke and approached the Zhang commander, placing a hand on his arm that she squeezed warmly, "Although I should caution you," turning her back to Daniel she lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, "to insult Doctor Jackson is to insult our whole world." Not waiting for a response she motioned for the group to continue to the gate then stepped back in close again, "And I would hate for anything to come between our worlds ever again, since I missed having the opportunity to get to know you better this time, Commander." She purred seductively, "So may I formally request to meet with you on our next scheduled contact with your world?"

Daniel honestly didn't know whether to marvel at Vala's feminine wiles or roll his eyes at the man's naiveté, and turned briefly to watch as the last of their people stepped into the gate.

"Mmm," the man gave her a feral smile, "I insist you accompany your people during our next meeting. In fact I..."

"Well, that's wonderful!" Daniel loudly interrupted them, clapping Vala on the shoulder and pulling her towards the gate, "Please, Vala, don't enthuse, you'll see him again soon enough."

"Until next time, Commander." Vala smiled predatorily at him and taking Daniels' hand, stepped through the gate, pulling him along behind her.

"Yes," Daniel smiled broadly, "Until next ti...."

Emerging through their gate on the other side Daniel called out; "Shut it down and close the iris!"

Still holding his hand, Vala stepped in close and whispered in his ear, "Very smooth, Doctor Jackson."

***

General Hammond and SG1 sat together in the briefing room, the group listening intently as Daniel gave them the latest update on Sam's condition. A long moment passed in silence between them before Teal'c quietly inquired, "When will Colonel Carter return home with Doctor Fraiser?"

All eyes looked to Daniel and he shrugged, "Janet's gonna' talk to her in a couple of days about this weekend...."

"Great!" Mitchell suddenly boomed, startling the group, "We'll do beer, pizza..."

"I... don't know," Daniel interrupted, holding up a hand to stop him, "I think that might be rushing things a bit. This Sam has a lot to take in right now, and she still has to do it with significantly less blood in her body compared to the rest of us."

"Man," Mitchell sighed, "that part must have been hard for Fraiser."

"Indeed," Daniel said, in perfect imitation of Teal'c, "She's not sure, but from her analysis and comparison of Sam's three energy wounds she thinks the weapon Sam was shot with fires an energy blast delivered in a small pulse, much like a lead bullet, that passes straight through mere flesh but quickly loses energy if it hits anything more solid. The hit Sam took in her shoulder lost significant energy when it passed through her Kevlar, then the back of her shoulder blade, and finally stopped just shy of blowing out through the other side, where it apparently dissipated." Unconsciously, Daniel visibly winced, adding, "You should see the bruising she has on the front side of that injury, it looks like she was punched from the inside. The same thing happened on her side, the pulse slowed down after piercing her Kevlar and shattered the hell out of two ribs before stopping...."

Mitchell added, "according to the doc it was a small area, but it tore it up pretty good."

"We still don't understand how it works, but maybe that's the purpose of having an energy weapon that somehow doesn't cauterize flesh." Daniel continued, "Maybe the intended outcome of such a weapon is to just keep hitting your victim until she bleeds to death."

"Like we need that to see that again." Mitchell had muttered under his breath, but everyone still heard him and the group fell silent once again.

~

"Sam."

Sam heard the voice distantly and her conscious mind groped for it, only to reel away into the darkness again.

"Sam?"

This time she tried to respond verbally but all she could make was an inarticulate noise, and her eyes opened briefly only to roll, unfocussed before the lids dropped down again. She moaned softly and a warm hand caressed her cheek.

"It's alright, Sam. I'm here."

Janet. Janet's here, she thought sluggishly and struggled to open her eyes.

"Easy, now" Janet's voice crooned softly, "you're doing just fine. Just try to stay awake a little longer each time, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

Sam made another inarticulate sound that ended in a groan, feeling Janet's hand as it continued to stroke her face, smoothing the blond bangs from her forehead, just like Janet had done from the very first time Sam found herself waking up in the infirmary. Just like...

Sam was being carefully lowered to the gateroom floor; the movement was gentle but she was in blinding agony. She struggled to breathe but could only make choking noises as her face turned an awful purplish color. Distantly, she could hear shouting and the exquisite pain abruptly faded along with her awareness. Briefly, the world returned to her as she was picked up by her shoulders and held in a gentle embrace. She could feel soft fingers stroking the hair from her forehead. Forcing her eyes open she looked up into the glistening eyes of her beloved wife, "Uhn..." Oh please, she pleaded silently; I need to say this. Blood still poured from the wound in her chest and she only managed to draw the smallest of breaths to murmur through blood-caked lips, "I love y..." was all she managed to say when her world disappeared.

The moment Sam began to convulse Janet called for a crash cart, reaching to lower the head of the bed until Sam was lying flat. A nurse helped her to turn Sam on her side so she wouldn't aspirate on her saliva. She nervously checked her watch, timing the quantum integration event like she would a seizure. Only this isn't a seizure, she thought, her mind racing in near panic. Kawalsky's quantum events never lasted for more than a couple of minutes. Could Sam tolerate such an overload on her system in such a weakened state? Could her body safely tolerate a dose of Valium to stop the event if it lasted beyond the two-minute interval? The questions slammed into Janet's brain with a screaming intensity and she reached to stroke Sam's hair with a shaking hand,

"Easy Sam," She willed her voice to what she hoped was a soothing calm, "Easy now.... Ease down."

She continued to stroke her hair and murmur mostly nonsense words of comfort as she watched the erratic reading on Sam's heart monitor with her own heart beating just as erratically in her chest. She felt on the verge of collapse when finally, Sam's stiffened, convulsing body suddenly stopped, collapsing on the bed. Janet stared in horror at the flatline on the heart monitor and opened her mouth to shout for the paddles to be charged, but the blip on the monitor suddenly returned, showing Sam's heart beating once again in a normal sinus rhythm. She released a shaky breath and turned to grip the bedrail with both hands, willing herself not to black out and breathe normally. She felt a small hand at her back, one of the nurses reaching to lend some support. Janet nodded an acknowledgment, giving the woman a weak smile in thanks and turned back to her patient. Her eyebrows raised in surprise when she realized Sam's eyes were open and looking straight into her own.

"I love you..." Sam said, her voice a soft whisper, "so much." She sighed deeply as her eyes closed, lapsing into a deep sleep.

~

Sam slept for several hours after her first quantum flashback, and Janet used that time to get her wits back to as close an approximation of normal as possible. She was exhausted and had to let Dr. Warner take over as attending physician while she sat at Sam's bedside in wonderment. Could this really be happening? Could she really have her old life back? Could she have her wife back?

"Janet?"

Janet blinked, automatically reaching to take Sam's hand in her own,

"Hey, Sam," she drew a deep breath and gazed down into pale blue eyes, "How're you feeling now that you've had you're first quantum event?"

"Are they all going to be like that?" Sam's voice still sounded weak, but she spoke clearly.

"No." Janet reassured her, not entirely certain she was telling her the truth, "They'll get easier as you get stronger, how would you like to try a little lunch now? I think some broth and crackers should be okay."

"Okay." Sam croaked and Janet turned to stop a passing nurse, asking her to send the request to the mess hall. When she turned back she gave Sam's hand a gentle squeeze.

"Want to tell me what happened during your first flashback? What did you remember?"

Sam looked deeply at her for a long moment, "I did remember, didn't I? I mean, I wasn't just viewing, somehow... I was remembering..." Her brows knit together in a frown, so Janet offered,

"Yes, Sam, you remembered an event as Sam Carter here in this reality. You are Samantha Carter, and you are simply remembering your life as Samantha Carter in this life, now." She reached up to stroke the blond bangs back from Sam's face adding, "Does that help at all?"

"I remembered dying on the gateroom floor." Sam said in a small voice, and Janet's hand froze with her fingers still entwined in soft, blond hair. "I remembered trying so hard to tell you I loved you." Sam's voice faltered and she whispered, "So much."

Janet's eyes filled with tears, spilling over to slide down her face, "I know," she whispered back, "I heard you." She sniffed loudly and swiped at her tears with her free hand, "You were abducted offworld by a group of thugs called The Tian Gang. They held you for several days..." Janet closed her eyes and pressed her lips together. More tears spilled from her eyes and she said in a voice tight with pain, "They took you for sport, for perverse pleasure and they... they tortured you." Sam gripped her hand as Janet looked away. She shook her head in denial, soft choking noises escaping her as she tried vainly not to sob.

"It's okay." Sam soothed, but Janet vehemently shook her head,

"No!" She whispered hoarsely, "It isn't, Sam." Her chest heaved and she struggled to continue, "Daniel managed to find out from the locals where a set of rings were near the gate and he and SG1 and 2 transported themselves to the Tian's ship.... They quickly overpowered the gang and brought you home to me, but when their leader knew he was going to lose his latest plaything he shot you in the chest with your own sidearm.... Teal'c carried you though the gate and placed you on the gateroom floor." Her voice shook and dropped to the barest of whispers, "We tried to resuscitate you, but you'd lost so much blood. Too much blood...." Janet wiped her nose with her sleeve and she looked down, letting herself fall into the blue of Sam's eyes if only for a moment.

"I knew you were dying, and there was nothing I could do to stop it, Sam." Her words ending in an agonized whimper, "So I held you in my arms... and you opened your eyes and you told me.... You said...."

"I love you, Janet." Sam finished for her. "I still do."

Janet clapped her free hand over her mouth to stop the sob that broke from her but failed. Weeping openly, she reached down to gather Sam into her arms once again, this time in reunion, rocking her. With all the strength she could muster, Sam fiercely hugged the smaller woman with her good arm, her face buried in her neck.

"I love you, Sam." Janet sobbed, "I love you, so much."

~

"Colonel Carter."

Sam stirred at the voice and slowly blinked her eyes at the harsh florescent lights. Did they ever shut them off? She wondered idly.

Again, came the softly spoken summons, "Colonel Carter."

She licked her lips with some effort and turned her head, her eyes taking a moment to bring the Jaffa's face into focus.

"Teal'c."

"Colonel Carter." He warmly enthused, "It pleases me greatly to see you again, for indeed, I have missed you."

Healing cuts from the shrapnel still covered her face and scalp, and Sam winced when she smiled back. "And I have missed you."

"How are you feeling today?"

"Better," she smiled at him, "although it'll be awhile before I'm back to doing yoga again." She said, smirking slightly at herself.

"Did you practice that discipline in your old world?"

"No!" She gave an amused snort, "But I remember taking classes in this life here...." She shook her head wonderingly, "Just never thought I was the type.... And what's weirder is I'm looking forward to going back to it."

"Doctor Fraiser says you are to accompany her home on Friday?" He seemed to ask the question a little tentatively, although the warm smile never left the Jaffa's face.

Janet had approached General Hammond, asking for at least two weeks leave to stay at home while Sam recuperated, and he had readily agreed. He decided the rest of SG1 deserved a break as well, recognizing the advantage of having Teal'c and the rest of the team close by. Everyone at the base had been devastated by the loss of their Col. Carter and he instinctively knew SG1 needed time to recover and bond with this Sam Carter and each other, again.

"Yep. I've been working hard at being mobile this week," she looked around to scowl at the wheelchair and cane. She mostly hated that she could only use the cane for a few steps; only the stability belt and the two physical therapists supporting her provided any form of real bipedal mobility at all. "I can't believe I've been reduced to using a wheelchair like some old woman." She turned back to him, "Elderly before my time."

"I am certain you will not require its use for very long, Colonel Carter." He gave her a small nod, his voice rich with warmth and reassurance. "Did Doctor Fraiser tell you I will be accompanying you home?" He asked, quirking an expressive eyebrow at her.

Sam nodded. After Janet had awakened her from the chemically induced sleep, she had explained that just before she and Sam married they bought a larger house together, a single story affair with four bedrooms in the hopes of accommodating them with a master bedroom, a guest bedroom that would one day become Cassie's, and office space for both Sam and Janet. Janet had smiled shyly when she told her Sam actually spent most of her "office time" in the garage, working on her two motorcycles, and Janet spent little, if any, time in her own office, preferring to spend as much time with Sam in the garage as possible. "I'm sorry." Sam had laughed, but her apology was sincere and Janet had waved it off, explaining, "It's okay, you did buy me a nice chair to sit on so I wouldn't have to sit on that concrete step while I read my med journals."

Janet's house had been sold, but Teal'c now lived in Sam's small house, and since it was only a few minutes drive from their home Janet had asked Teal'c if she could prevail upon him to help move Sam from the car to the living room couch. Although Teal'c had also privately agreed to stay close by in case Sam was still unable to get around and Janet needed additional help to move her from room to room.

"Are you sure you don't want to spend your time off on your home world, Teal'c?" Sam asked. "You really don't need to be on constant stand-by as my personal transportation valet."

His eyes crinkled at the corners and his voice was rich with amusement, "I do not believe you will require my assistance for very long. However, the rest of SG1 and I do look forward to spending time with you once again. Although we have each made a solemn vow to Doctor Fraiser that we will not allow our presence to overtire you."

"I'll bet." Sam chuckled, imagining the stern, rigid posture Janet would have affected as she lectured the team.

Teal'c still looked at this Col. Carter with some amazement. It was not his intention to disrespect the dead, but he preferred not to dwell on his memory of the previous Col. Carter's death.

As soon as he found Col. Carter on the floor of the Tian ship, struggling to breathe, lying curled in a semi-fetal position and clutching the wound in her chest, it was clear to him she would soon die without immediate medical assistance. As gently as the urgency of the situation allowed, he scooped her up and bolted for the rings. The woman he carried in his arms had been severely beaten; her face and arms seemed to be covered in bruises. Dried blood matted blond hair in spots and one eye was swollen shut; the cut above and through her eyebrow had bled down into the swollen eye and the side of her face. Her lips were split and caked in blood, and one earlobe appeared to be sliced through at the base, leaving a tremendous swath of dried blood down her neck. But it was the wound in her chest making sickening, wet, sucking noises through her sodden tank top that made his heart race as he, Daniel, Vala and SG2 ran for the gate.

He had stood in mute horror as Janet feverishly worked over her wife's body. He was convinced she would save her until Dr. Fraiser suddenly stopped and looked up into the eyes of Dr. Warner and slowly shook her head, her face a mask of devastation. Without a word she slipped an arm beneath Sam's shoulders and lifted her, holding her close. The room had fallen eerily silent as Col. Carter opened her eyes one last time and Teal'c clearly heard her tell Dr. Fraiser she loved her before slipping into death. Respectfully, he had dropped to one knee, in formal mourning as Daniel fell to his knees in front of Sam, speechless, his hands helplessly outstretched towards the pair. Janet clutched Sam tightly to her and began to rock her back and forth. She made small, choking, whimpering noises and Vala, standing behind her and silently weeping, dropped to her knees to softly caress Janet's hair. The proud Jaffa's eyes had filled with tears, and he was completely unaware of them as they slid down his face.

No one knew what to do, the medical teams, the defense teams; everyone stood rooted, unable to move. Janet's hands and the side of her face were smeared in Sam's blood, Sam's blood soaked black tank top was pressed against Janet and Daniel had gasped aloud when she sat up to take a ragged breath, revealing the huge blood stain that had soaked into the front of her white lab coat and uniform shirt. It was then Janet had thrown her head back and started to scream, a sound so heartbreaking that Col. Mitchell, SG2 and the defense teams, in unconscious imitation of Teal'c, silently dropped to one knee and Daniel broke down completely. He had thrown his arms around both Sam and Janet and sobbed; unable to stop the cries Janet tore from her throat. She screamed until she collapsed and only then did Teal'c rise, to assist a shaking Daniel who took Sam from Janet's arms, and Vala had wrapped her arms around the limp and unresponsive Dr. Fraiser.

"Teal'c," Sam asked, "you okay?" He had suddenly gone quiet; gazing at her with such an intensity she wondered if he had entered a state of Kel'no'reem.

Teal'c blinked and smiled, shaking his head slightly as if he could forever remove the horrible vision his eyes beheld that day.

"Yes." He reassured her, "Although Colonel Mitchell is determined to have a beer and pizza party for you by the end of your first week at home."

"Yeah," she snorted softly, "like Janet will allow beer in the house any time soon."

His eyes crinkled at the corners again, "Indeed."

Sam smiled at him, "I still can't believe Daniel and Vala are together in this reality."

Teal'c quirked an eyebrow at her, the questioning version of his "indeed" unspoken but still present in the room.

"Oh yeah," Sam shook her head, "you'd find it pretty mind-blowing too if you knew how they were with each other in my old world."

"Have you come to recognize this world as your own?"

Sam frowned slightly and pursed her lips together for a moment, concentrating, "So much of my life in my old world was the same as this life here... with one huge exception, of course." She quickly added, flashing him a brilliant smile. "So the memories feel like my own... it's weird but I can make the distinction between memories of my old world and memories of this Sam's life here. But when I have them, the memories feel like this Sam's life is... or was... my life too, if that makes sense." She paused a moment before adding, "I'm so grateful to have been given this second chance, Teal'c." Her eyes suddenly glistening, "You'll never know...."

"You were unhappy in your previous reality?" He asked.

She could only nod as she blinked furiously, "Yes," she replied, her voice a strained whisper, "I'm so glad this is my home now. This is exactly how I wanted my life to be."

"Before she died, you and Doctor Fraiser were not together in that world?"

Mutely, she shook her head.

"Why not?" He asked.

"Rules," she answered, closing her eyes tiredly, "too many rules."

***

"So find another way to hook up the crystal bits and start it that way."

"Hook them up, how, Dr. Jackson?" Dr. Lee pleaded. "I've tried charging the larger crystals electrically... directly, indirectly, and with varying degrees of voltage. I've tried electrically connecting them directly to the mirror...." He shrugged in exasperation, "I'm frankly running out of ideas and even though it doesn't look it, the only logical conclusion I can really draw here is that one or both of the power surges damaged the mirror and it's toast now, or we simply need one large crystal to activate it," He turned to wave his hand dejectedly, "and not these broken bits and pieces."

Dr. Lee had been studying the mirror for days and had never even come close to activating it. Four other physicists at the base had participated, but none of them had been successful either and Daniel was finally starting to lose hope.

"Okay, you know what kind of physical, electrical, whatever properties these crystals give off when they're electrically stimulated, overloaded, right?"

"Yeeeeah..." Dr. Lee drew out the word, not following Daniel's trail of thought.

"And the location Sam went to is locked here in this remote, right?" He asked, holding up the remote.

"As far as we know," Dr. Lee nodded, "yeah."

"The Zhang who ran from the building said the array blew the first time after Sam fired her weapon wildly, bullets hit the crystal array and after a few seconds it glowed brightly and part of it exploded, activating the mirror, and that's us guessing that last part."

Dr. Lee didn't respond and Daniel continued, "The overload in the crystal was huge in that the energy inside it supposedly surged a second time, blowing up both itself and the ceiling along with it...."

"Dr. Jackson," Dr. Lee tried to interrupt. He was exhausted and not in the mood to listen to the archeologist ramble,

"So if you put the mirror in a heavily shielded room like the ones we have deep inside this base... you could shoot it with a ton of energy, hopefully simulating the energy given off by the crystal array when it overloaded and maybe then the mirror would work?"

Dr. Lee leaned against the table, his chin propped on his fist, "Sure," he shrugged, "why not?"

***

"Colonel Mitchell, have a seat." Gen. Hammond sat behind his desk, motioning to a chair. When he was seated the general continued, "As you'll recall your assignment to SG1 was temporary and it's time now for you to return SG2 once agai..."

Mitchell interrupted him, "So Colonel Carter is for sure coming back to command SG1?"

"I don't know, Colonel, but...."

"But, surely she won't be able to lead SG1 again for some time."

Hammond nodded, "Yes, I am aware of that, but when Teal'c and Doctor Jackson return to duty Teal'c will be going to Chulak to meet with the council leaders there and Doctor Jackson has several projects in his lab he wants to work on while Colonel Carter recuperates... and you are needed back on SG2. Any questions?" He asked pointedly.

"No, sir."

"Good. SG2 has a mission briefing at 1400 hours. Dismissed."

~

"You look pretty tired, are you feeling okay?" Janet asked.

Her arm in a sling, Sam sat in the passenger seat, turned to her left side to keep pressure off the opposite shoulder. Unable to take her eyes off the driver, Sam clutched her cane and smiled all during the ride home but still sat slumped tiredly in the car seat.

"Yeah, I feel great."

Janet snorted in disbelief and shook her head, "Yeah, okay." She clicked the turn signal on, briefly checking the mirror to make sure Teal'c was still behind them in his car, "You've been remembering stuff about home; do you know which one it is?"

Sam looked up in surprise and with some effort, turned to face forward in her seat. Her eyes instantly locked on a one-story redwood stained house, "That's it," she breathed, her voice full of awe, "that's our home."

"That's right, hon, it is." Janet smiled brightly at her, her eyes shining as she turned on the turn signal again, slowing to turn into the driveway. She pulled the van to a stop and shutting the engine, turned to Sam, taking her hand and squeezing it softly,

"Welcome home, Colonel Carter."

Tearing her eyes from her new/old home, Sam turned to look into brown eyes so deep she could have sworn she could fallen straight into them, cane, sling, and all. Looking anxious, she took a breath as if to speak but seemed unable to.

Janet let go of Sam's hand and softly stroked her cheek, "You're home now, Sam. It's okay."

She had promised herself she wouldn't rush her but Janet still found herself leaning in to capture Sam's face with both hands and placed a soft, if tentative, kiss on her lips. Sam's eyes closed and her response was immediate as she leaned into Janet, trying to deepen the contact. She leaned a little too far and suddenly tensed in pain, emitting a small cry against Janet's mouth.

Janet quickly moved a hand to her chest and gently pushed her back into her seat, "Easy there, cowgirl."

Sam grunted softly, trying to control the harsh breathing and quell the pain in her shoulder and side, "Cowgirl?" She grunted again, managing a lop-sided grin, "I remember where I was when I remembered how that one originated; Vala was visiting me in Physical Therapy at the time and I recall her having a good laugh at my expense." Janet noticed with some alarm the breathless quality in Sam's voice as she leaned heavily against the back of the car seat, adding, "I knew there was a reason why I loved those boots." She started to lean forward again, intending to steal another kiss when Janet placed a hand on the side of her face, this time gently stopping her,

"Sam," she pleaded, chuckling softly, "there'll be plenty of time for this later, okay?" She turned to look out the back window of the minivan at Teal'c, who had pulled in behind them and stood waiting patiently by his SUV.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Can we do it a lot?"

"Sam!" Janet laughed, and leaned back to open the door. "Wait here now." She said as she exited the vehicle, still laughing.

Having seen the exchange in the van, Teal'c stepped forward, a warm smile on his face, "It is good to hear your laughter once again, Doctor Fraiser."

Janet had opened the back of the van and turned to give him a hug, squeezing heartily, "It feels good to laugh again, Teal'c."

The large Jaffa quickly wrapped his arms around her petite frame and closed his eyes briefly as he hugged her back.

"Hey, hey! Knock it off you two!" Sam shouted from her seat, "I believe that's my job Teal'c, you know?"

They broke apart, and Teal'c was smiling as he reached to lift the wheelchair from the back of the van, "Do not concern yourself Samantha Carter, I was not, as Colonel Mitchell expresses it, 'copping a feel'."

Laughter exploded from Janet as he set the wheelchair on the ground and walked around the van to the passenger side.

When he opened the door Sam asked, her eyebrows raised innocently, "You certainly have picked up a lot from Colonel Mitchell these past weeks, haven't you, Teal'c?"

"That is so," he answered, picking her up in his arms gently, and with remarkable ease, "but I do not agree with Daniel Jackson that he is an incorrigible and a menace to good manners."

"Mmm..." Sam answered somewhat distantly, her attention focused on Janet as she pushed the wheelchair up the walk ahead of them. She left the chair at the bottom of the three steps that led to the porch and climbing them, crossed to the door, unlocking it with her key. Opening it she quickly stepped inside and held it open for them,

"Welcome home, Samantha Carter." He intoned before crossing the threshold, carefully turning her to one side as he stepped through the doorway.

Sam was silent as he carried her into the house. I'm home, she repeated silently. I'm home. I'm finally home....

He placed her gently on the couch and left to retrieve the wheelchair from the walkway. When the two were alone Janet sat next to Sam on the couch, one leg tucked beneath her,

"Hey," Janet asked softly, taking Sam's hand in her own, "how you doin'?"

Sam looked at her in wonder, "I'm home." She said simply.

Janet's eyes brimmed and she leaned in to place a quick kiss on Sam's temple, "Yes, love, you are. I have you back... home." She pulled back and gently cupped the side of Sam's face with her hand, stroking soft lips with her thumb. Sam grasped the hand and placed a soft kiss against Janet's palm.

"Wait here," Janet ordered softly, "I'll be right back." She left to retrieve her purse that doubled as a briefbag and box of extra medical supplies she thought she'd need from the van but Teal'c had beat her to it, having piled the items on the wheelchair and she nearly ran into him as he wheeled it in the front door.

"Oh thank you, Teal'c, you are a mind-reader."

He gave a small bow, and she stepped back to let him pass. After he entered she stepped out to the porch to activate the door locks on the van with her remote.

When she stepped back inside Teal'c addressed them both formally, "Doctor Fraiser, Samantha Carter, I will be staying the next several days at my residence here, please do not hesitate to call me for assistance."

Even though she sat slumped on the couch, exhausted, Sam still grinned broadly. In this reality, while on base or on duty offworld Teal'c always addressed her by rank, Colonel Carter. But off base and off duty he always addressed her by her full name, Samantha Carter. And yet somehow, she snickered inwardly, even after all these years Janet was always Doctor Fraiser.... After all these years, she closed her eyes, exhausted from the emotional roller coaster that never seemed to give either her or Janet a break for very long.

She opened them again when Teal'c added; "I would also like to ask, on behalf of Daniel Jackson, Vala, and myself, to throw a party a week from tomorrow, in honor of your return, Samantha Carter." Seeing Janet's reaction he quickly continued, "A very quiet and brief celebration, involving only a variety of barbequed meats, salad, garlic bread... and a cake."

Sam chuckled, if tiredly, "Oh, come on, Janet, they promised to behave, please?" She entreated.

Giving them both a smile that somehow appeared both sly and stern, Janet relented, "Alright, Teal'c, but no beer, and tell them to be here at six."

He bowed formally, "It will be our pleasure to bring all that is needed for the celebration." He added, "May you both have pleasant dreams tonight." He stepped forward and dropped quickly to one knee to cautiously embrace Sam, then rose to envelop Janet in a hug one last time,

"Welcome home to you both." He bowed again then left, closing the door behind him.

Janet stood, stunned for a moment before turning back to Sam, wiping the moisture from her eyes with both hands and emitting a sound of self-exasperation, muttered,

"Jesus! That man can be so fiercely loyal... and intensely..." she struggled to find the right words, "affectionate and loving. Although 'intense' usually describes him pretty well, you know?"

Sam batted away tears from her own eyes and sniffed loudly, "Yeah, he's an amazing guy." Adding, "We have some amazing friends for family members, don't we?"

"Yes," Janet replied, and walked over to a chair to retrieve two pillows from a stack of bedding left there by Vala. "Yes, we do." She returned to the couch, dropping the pillows at one end, "Want to lie down?"

"Mm-hmm." Was Sam's only response and Janet helped her maneuver on the couch so she was lying on its length, her head and shoulders propped on the pillows.

Janet sat next to her and took Sam's free hand in both her own, "Hon, you look exhausted so why don't you lie here and nap while I putter around for a bit? You really need to eat some dinner at least an hour or so before bed tonight, alright?"

Looking past her, Sam only nodded as Janet stroked the back of her hand with her thumbs; "Daniel and Vala came by this morning and stocked our fridge and pantry with... well, probably everything, knowing them."

Sam had been staring at the pile of bedding on the easy chair and she asked, her voice a hoarse whisper, "Am I sleeping here on the couch?"

Janet hesitated briefly at her tone and even turned to look questioningly at the stack of bedding before rushing to reassure her, "Oh, no, Sam, no, I think Vala just stacked a bunch of stuff there to make sure you were as comfortable as possible when you were lying down out here.... Would you rather not sleep in our bed tonight?" She asked a little nervously, quickly letting go of Sam's hands, "Is this moving too fast for you?"

"No." Sam clutched at the hands, "no, I'm just tired and not thinking clearly. I'm sorry Janet, it's just that I ennnuh...."

Sam's body suddenly stiffened, her back arching as the convulsions began. Janet saw her eyes roll up just before her eyelids fluttered down and she immediately pulled the pillows and couch cushion from beneath her, discarding them on the floor so Sam was lying flat. She struggled to turn her on her side and

Sam heard a moan, only distantly realizing it was her own as she strained against the body beneath her. It was dark, but when Sam opened her eyes she could still see the eyelashes fanned against Janet's cheek, illuminated by the streetlight that filtered through the blinds.

"Sam," Janet panted, "Sam."

Sam straddled the smaller woman's thigh and undulated against her, reveling in the wetness she spread there. Each time she thrust against Janet's thigh, she drove the first two fingers on her right hand deep into her wife, making Janet groan. Each time Sam felt as though she would black out from pleasure, each time her awareness completely riveting on the soft, silky walls that clutched at her fingers, the strong muscles straining to pull them ever deeper inside each time she tried to draw them back out. Fingers thrusting inside, her thumb rhythmically stroked the small bundle of nerve-endings tucked within the silken folds, making the tiny organ emerge from beneath its hood to thrust brazenly against Sam's thumb.

"Baby, please." Janet begged, her body undulating desperately beneath her; one hand cupping the side of Sam's face, the other grasping and kneading, massaging Sam's breast, tugging with increasing desperation at Sam's nipple, "Please..." she begged.

Sam moaned again, panting, and she thrust against Janet harder, pumping her fingers inside faster, overcome now by both the moans that rumbled from their chests and the sounds of slick, slapping, driving wetness that issued from below.

"Janet," she breathed, "I lo..." But her strained words were cut short as Janet suddenly pulled her tongue into her mouth and sucked at it hungrily.

Sam's mind blew into a world of brilliant white light as she climaxed, and wrenching her mouth from Janet's, threw her head back and her back arched as her body stiffened. She continued to grind herself against Janet's thigh as wave after wave shook her. Oh my god! Her mind screamed, and felt Janet stiffen beneath her, tightening her slick walls around Sam's fingers painfully, exquisitely painfully.... Oh god! Sam's mind screamed again as Janet cried out, digging her nails painfully into her breast and shoulder. It was so good, so good, so good, so...

"That's it,' Janet murmured soothingly, "That's it, easy now." And gently turned Sam so she lying on her back again. Retrieving the pillows from the floor, she slid an arm under her shoulders and gently raised her enough to slide the pillows beneath her again, one at a time. She eased Sam back onto the pillows, adjusting them as she continued to call softly to her, "Sam?"

Janet suddenly froze as she hovered and fussed over her, the smell of Sam's arousal unmistakable. The scent made Janet's mouth water and she felt the equally unmistakable tingling between her legs and she swallowed, surprised by her body's instant response. She closed her eyes briefly and swallowed again, firmly.

"Sam," she called again, smiling when Sam finally opened her eyes. "Welcome back, sweetheart."

Her hand rose unconsciously to stroke blond hair from impossibly blue eyes just as Sam issued a small sound of distress. Tears filled her eyes to spill in a flood down her face and she turned away, clamping a hand over her mouth to stop the sobs that broke from her.

"Sam?" Janet placed a hand over the bruised one that covered Sam's mouth, quickly stroking her face with the other, "Sam, please, honey, it's okay." Still sobbing, Sam opened her eyes but could only shake her head, "Sam, whatever it is, it'll be okay, I promise."

Sam made gasping, choking noises, and Janet continued to stroke her face one-handed as she gently pulled Sam's hand away from her mouth with the other, still murmuring words of comfort,

"I..." Sam struggled to speak, her chin trembled and her voice shook, "Janet, I have to tell you something..."

Janet nodded, "Okay, Sam, it's alright." She turned briefly to grab a neatly folded hand towel that had, for some reason, been left on the coffee table, using it to gently wipe Sam's face.

Sam sniffed loudly and grasped the hand Janet dried her face with. Her hand shook as hard as her voice when she started,

"I have to tell you something about my old world, about who I was...." Janet only nodded encouragingly, "I... When my father died he was in the infirmary, his Tok'ra symbiote was dying and unable to die without my dad dying with him." Janet only nodded; her warm hands enfolded in Sam's, "He said he just wanted to know I was going to be happy." Fresh tears spilled from Sam's eyes at the memory, "I told him I was, but... he knew better, he knew I wasn't happy." She had whispered that last and had to close her eyes for a moment, "He said, 'don't let rules stand in your way', and suddenly I knew that he knew.... He knew about me. He knew I was gay. He said he knew I joined the Air Force because of him, and it was true, I did. But when I was in college I dated women, I knew homosexuality was forbidden in the military, but naively, stupidly, I thought I could just shut that part of myself down and date men after I graduated." Sam shook her head at the memory, and Janet's heart broke to see the pain and shame reflected in her eyes, "I tried so hard, you know?" She sniffed and gave a small, if bitter laugh, "I tried to date men, but it never worked out, it's not who I am.... Then I got a job working for the Stargate program and I tried to convince myself I was attracted to Colonel O'Neill," Janet's eyebrows raised and Sam gave a small, sad laugh, "I know, I looked to him like a father but tried to convince myself it was more than that ... then I met you...." Sam gave a small, trembling smile as another errant tear escaped and Janet gently wiped it away, "I met you... and I knew, I knew... and I wanted you so bad, but," another sob escaped her and she struggled to continue, "but I didn't say anything and I didn't do anything... because it was against the rules," she shook her head, "and then I was left alone during an incident aboard the Prometheus, I had hit my head..." she paused for a moment to draw a deep, trembling breath, "really hard and I was having all sorts of hallucinations, like when Jack showed up and challenged my attraction for him... I kissed him in that hallucination and felt nothing," she shook her head again, "nothing.... Or when my father appeared and told me I deserved to be loved..." Her voice broke again and again she tried to cover her mouth but Janet silently refused, catching the hand and pressing it to her lips.

Sam paused again in her narration, her breath catching on the kiss Janet pressed against her hand. Looking at their joined hands she continued, "When I got back to Earth and woke up in the infirmary, I decided I was going to ask you out. Even though I knew you had once been married... to a man. There were so many times I was convinced you would have gone out with me had I asked. But the weeks went by and I chickened out...." Sam sighed heavily, "Each Friday would come and I'd gather my courage and each Friday would go and I'd chicken out again.

Then, one day you were called offworld; we were pinned down in a firefight and you came out to tend after an airman...." Sam's voice dropped to a whisper, "And you were hit in the chest with a blast from a staff weapon." Her voice sounding flat she drove on, "The blast went through your Kevlar, through your..." Sam pressed her lips together and squeezed her eyes tightly shut, "You died, instantly... and suddenly the rules and my stupid insecurities and whether or not I deserved to be happy didn't matter anymore. So it was not without an overwhelming sense of hopelessness when dad said to me in the infirmary that I could still have everything I wanted.... I told him I did, but he saw the lie for what it was, and that's when I stopped trying to fit in, and I stopped wanting to be happy...."

"Janet," Sam seemed calmer now as she searched the depths of Janet's eyes, "In my old world, same-sex marriages were illegal, same-sex relationships were forbidden by the military, and I was too much of a coward to buck the rules and love you...." Another tear streamed down Sam's face and Janet wiped it away, "I was in love with you but I didn't have the courage... I'm not the Sam of your world who..." Janet finally placed her fingers over Sam's trembling lips, stopping her,

"Sam," she said, her voice stilling her, "Same-sex marriage is legal here, and here the military doesn't give a rat's ass about same-sex relationships. If laws and rules were the same here as in your old world, I don't know that things would have happened any differently between my Sam and me, and your Janet and you...." She continued, "Don't you see? Because we have no rules against that here the attraction between the two of us was just as immediate, but there was nothing to stop us, here. We started dating early on and it wasn't long before you asked me to marry you."

Janet smiled, realizing for the first time her eyes were brimming, "Your dad was right, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to live in a world where there are no stupid rules to stand in your way. My Sam would want you to be happy... I want you to be happy, Sam." She smoothed her hand and fingers over Sam's lips and cheek, cupping them softly, "You are my Sam, and I love you." She finished, tears falling from her eyes she drew Sam into her arms.

Sam sniffed, "I love you too." She whispered against her hair, her voice tight with emotion.

"I love you, Sam." Janet kept repeating as she nuzzled her wife's hair, "I love you, Sam. I love you, Sam..."

She rocked her in silence a few moments longer before gently lowering her back onto the pillows. Exhaling heavily, Sam reached a hand to softly, if shakily, stroke shoulder-length brown hair, "I'm..."

"So tired?" Janet smiled, taking the hand that stroked her hair, this time kissing the palm, "I wanted you to have dinner before bed but I'm afraid you'll fall asleep here and I won't be able to get you up without calling Teal'c. So let's get you into bed now, and maybe I can wake you later to have something light, okay?"

"Okay."

Janet sighed and used the hand towel to wipe the tears from Sam's face and then her own. Looking down at Sam who looked gray and utterly spent, she said softly, "That was hard, huh?" Sam nodded mutely and she added, "I promise you, it will only get better, from here on out, understand?"

Sam gave her a small smile and nodded again and Janet leaned down to cover soft lips with her own. Sam tried to lift a hand to touch her but lacked the strength, so she settled for luxuriating in the contact between their lips.

When they finally parted Sam asked, "How long till we can do more than kiss?"

"Well, not tonight, my love," Janet purred near her ear, "but knowing you it'll be soon enough, I'm sure."

~

When Janet had promised on Sam's arrival home that they would soon be doing a lot more than just kissing, she had no idea Sam interpreted her to mean the very next day.

Sam had slept deeply her first night back home; Janet had awakened her at midnight for soup and a sandwich as a late dinner, and sat on the edge of the bed eating half the sandwich as she watched Sam ravenously devour her meal. When she was finished Janet moved the tray to the top of the dresser, and despite Sam's assurances she was now recharged and refueled enough to stay up for an hour or so she had fallen asleep almost as soon as Janet turned off the lamp.

It was the next morning when Janet threw off the covers to help Sam out of bed and into the bathroom that Sam positively leered at her, her voice low, "Why, Doctor Fraiser, have you come to give me my sponge bath?"

"Oh my goodness," Janet had grinned broadly, drawling in an accent from the deep south, "Ah would Colonel, but Ah'm not at all certain you are up for that quite yet."

Sam had grabbed her by the hand; "Try me." She had husked, pulling her down on top of her. Laughing, Janet had quickly put her hands on either side of Sam, careful not to put any weight on her injuries,

"Sam, I know yo-ouff..." whatever she had intended to say had evaporated in the kiss that Sam pressed against her mouth, her tongue demanding entrance, and Janet felt her stern resolve to wait until Sam had recovered more of her strength melt away along with her words. She seems plenty strong to me, she heard a small, horny voice echo from some dark corner of her mind. Smiling, Janet pulled her mouth away and laughed again, "Sam," but her laughing ended in a gasp as Sam caught a breast though Janet's tank top in her good hand and began to massage and stroke it through the thin fabric. Her eyes closed involuntarily and, not laughing anymore, she begged, "Sam...."

"Please." She heard the strained whisper and looked down into desperate eyes. "Please, Janet," Sam had pleaded, "let me touch you." and lifted her head to capture Janet's lips for another searing kiss.

"Move over." Was the last coherent thing Janet could remember saying, and Sam shifted toward the center of the bed so Janet could lie down next to her. She slipped a hand under Sam's t-shirt, careful to stay away from the gauze bandage that protected her side, and felt the muscles quiver beneath soft skin, her fingers tracing reverently over the small, scabbed-over nicks and cuts left from the shards of the flying crystal that brought this Sam to her. She trailed her hand up to softly grasp a breast just as she dropped her mouth down to cover Sam's. Sam groaned in her mouth, her tongue entwining with Janet's, each of their mouths hungrily trying to devour the other.

Janet pulled away to whimper softly, "Sam, please." As she pulled Sam's good hand down to the waistband of her shorts instinct took over and Sam slipped her hand beneath the fabric, groaning in Janet's mouth as her fingers slid down the smooth skin of her belly to stroke through soft curls and massaged her mound, sliding a finger along the crease. Janet moaned into Sam's mouth, and unconsciously slid her body to cover Sam's arm, straddling it. Pressing her forehead against Sam's she pulled her mouth away long enough to murmur, breathless, "Inside, Sam... baby, please..." Sam obediently slid her hand down, her finger sliding between the now slick folds, seeking the depths of Janet's body.

She slid the digit in and out once, twice, then slid two fingers deep inside her. "Oh, god, yes," Janet groaned and quickly took up the rhythm, grunting into Sam's mouth as she undulated on Sam's arm in concert with Sam's thrusting fingers, her thumb roughly stroking Janet's clitoris. Undulating wildly, Janet finally threw back her head, inarticulate cries tearing from her throat as her body went completely rigid for several long moments before she finally collapsed on Sam's arm. Sam was breathless, both from physical exertion and the need that now pounded in her veins from watching Janet climax.

When she went to shakily withdraw her fingers Janet caught her hand through the fabric of her shorts, "Wait," she had panted, "Please." And slid the hand that held Sam's breast back down her abdomen, sliding beneath the waistband of her pajama bottoms and briefly squeezed her mound, making Sam moan. Without preamble she slid three fingers between the slick, silken folds and deep inside her wife, "Look at me." She commanded and Sam gasped as she obeyed, gazing unblinking into Janet's eyes as they mutually stroked one another to another climax, Janet's orgasm triggered by the orgasm that shook Sam to her core, her body trembling as deep blue eyes gazed steadily into Janet's.

"Oh Sam," she had finally whispered when she was able to breathe again, "Oh Sam," she whispered again as she gently withdrew her fingers, and Sam withdrew her own, making Janet gasp softly. Sam wrapped her arm around Janet as she curled around Sam's good shoulder, tucking her head to nuzzle against Sam's neck. Without thought Janet brought the fingers to her lips and deeply inhaled the aroma before slowly sliding the digits along her tongue, into her mouth. Sam hugged the smaller body to her as Janet sucked the delicately sweet nectar from her fingers, and surprised herself when she abruptly began to cry. How could she be so lucky? She had silently begged, how could she be so blessed? She wept for several minutes, clinging to Sam,

"Please, please don't ever leave me again." She begged, over and over, "Please, love, please..."

Given the number of times Sam had flatlined or otherwise been considered dead during her career in the Air Force, she hesitated at making such a promise, regardless of her sincerity, and contented herself with murmuring words of love and reassurance as she held Janet, pausing every now and then to place soft kisses against her hair. Eventually the tears subsided and they lay together quietly until Janet wiped at her face one last time and sniffing loudly, sat up,

"Thank you." She said simply.

Sam's eyebrows arched, "For what?"

Janet pressed her lips together in a smile and shook her head, "For everything; for this; for being here, for loving me.... For all of it, Sam."

Bringing Sam's hand to her lips she placed a small kiss on the knuckles, closing her eyes when she caught her own scent on the fingers. Without hesitation she drew the first finger, then the second into her mouth, sucking them gently. There was simply no perfume as powerful as the flavor and fragrance of their two scents combined together.

Sam's eyes had closed involuntarily at the contact and she murmured, "You know, I'm not tired yet..."

Janet pulled the finger from her mouth and opening her eyes, chuckled, "Incorrigible."

Grinning crookedly, Sam replied, "Always."

Janet gazed down at the hand she held in both of her own, her smile turning wistful. Keeping a loose hold on Sam's hand she pulled off one of the gold bands from her finger and slipped it back on the ring finger of her left hand. She then slid off the second, slightly larger gold band and slid it on the ring finger of Sam's left hand,

"This is yours, you know."

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Sam asked, her blue eyes deeply searching the depths of Janet's own.

Clasping Sam's hand to her heart she murmured, "Yes, love, I am." and leaned in to press her lips reverently against Sam's.

The kiss was deep and lingering, and Sam delighted in the combination of tastes on Janet's tongue. When they finally parted Sam pulled their joined hands close, looking closely at the symbols deeply inscribed on their wedding bands,

"I remembered the night I proposed to you." Sam whispered, stroking the ring on Janet's finger with her thumb, "We were standing in my backyard, looking up at the stars. I was standing behind you, and I had wrapped my arms around you, tight." Her eyes closed so she could better see what she remembered, "I was nervous and felt my knees grow weak when I got ready to pop the question, I turned you around in my arms and sank to my knees and asked you to marry me."

"That's right." She heard Janet whisper softly.

"And you said yes."

"Yes, I did." Sam could hear the smile in Janet's voice, making her smile in return.

"And then the phone rang," Sam opened her eyes to crinkle them at the corners as she grinned, "I think Daniel was more nervous than I was."

Sam wanted the wedding bands to be simple gold bands so she could have a verse from the Song of Songs inscribed on them. Swearing him to secrecy, she asked Daniel to translate the verse back into the original Hebrew dialect appropriate to King Solomon's time, and he had readily agreed, although he was adamant about accompanying her to the jewelers so he could be sure the man inscribed the ancient script on both their wedding bands correctly. Unable to keep the secret of when she planned on asking Janet to marry her to herself, she told Daniel and on the night found herself giggling into Janet's stomach as she held her,

"That would be Daniel." She said in a muffled voice as they listened to the phone ring. Sam's answering machine finally picked up as she rose from her knees and placed a smoldering kiss on Janet's lips. The night was warm and they had left the back door open but Sam could only faintly hear the automated outgoing message on her machine though the searing heat of their kiss. It wasn't until Daniel started speaking that both women came to their senses long enough to suddenly erupt in laughter against each other's mouths. Arms wrapped tightly around one another they had walked across the lawn and back into the kitchen, still laughing as they listened to Daniel ramble endlessly into Sam's answering machine,

"It's no biggie, really, I just... thought I'd call, I mean... I know it's late, but I... well, you know how I get caught up in research and time flies, and... uh, anyway... I just wanted to ask you something about, uh... uh, our last mission, and uh... about the, umm..."

Sam finally put him out of his misery when she picked up the phone, saying, "For chrissakes, Daniel, she said yes." Then laughed again, holding the receiver out so Janet could hear the triumphant whooping sounds coming through the phone,

"I knew it! YES!" He shouted, "Congratulations Janet! You too, Sam!"

As Sam put the phone back to her ear Janet leaned in to give Daniel her thanks, and Sam added, "Yes, thank you Daniel, but it's really late now and...."

"I know! I know, I'm so, so sorry!" He had rushed to apologize, "this is so great, I'm gonna' call Teal'c, he's waiting to fi..."

"He's what?" Sam had blurted, incredulous, "You promised not to tell anyone, Daniel!"

"Uh, yeah, well," he had stammered, making Janet snicker, "Well, I gotta' go now, Sam... uh, how about we all go out for breakfast tomorrow to celebrate?"

"Breakfast?"

"Or a late brunch, uh, lunch?"

"Dinner," Sam had interrupted him, acutely aware of the heat emanating from the body her arm kept so tightly pressed against her own, "an early dinner. Now I'm gonna' let you go so you can call Teal'c."

~

"He was pretty nervous at the wedding too, if you'll recall," Said Janet, breaking her from her reverie, "I thought for sure he was going to drop the rings during the ceremony and make us all crawl around on our hands and knees looking for them."

"Yeah," Sam looked from the ring into Janet's eyes, "but he didn't drop them."

"No, he didn't."

"Janet, I remember placing this ring on your finger the day I married you.... I remember slipping it on your finger and falling, for the last time, for forever, into your eyes when I said, 'I am my beloved's..."

"And my beloved." Janet finished, "is mine."

~

"Daniel, my love, you know you have no aptitude for handling fire, please let Teal'c add the logs."

Sam snickered as Vala turned to her and rolled her eyes, "I do love him, you know?" She shook her head affectionately as her voice trailed off and the two women sat, watching Daniel watch as Teal'c carefully removed the grill and placed a few chunks of splintered log directly onto the coals. It was still early in the season and the sun still retired early so no matter whose house they found themselves at, after the feast they always tried to warm the area with what Daniel officially designated The Mini-Bonfire, in an attempt to delay the end of the gathering. The splintered pine logs were dry and quick to burst into flame, the intensity promising a mini-bonfire that was satisfying but brief, at best.

"And if you'll notice, Teal'c is putting very little on the coals, it's obvious you're rapidly reaching the end of your endurance."

They sat together on the bench swing in the backyard; her arm still in the sling Sam sat curled to the side, her good arm propped on the back of the bench, her hand tiredly supporting her head.

"I know." Sam groaned, stifling a yawn, "I'm sorry, I wish I had more energy because this has been great, thank you."

Vala's eyes crinkled warmly, "It was fun today, wasn't it?" As Teal'c promised, the barbeque had been short, only two hours in duration and somewhat sedate, but it was clear the five of them had enjoyed themselves.

"So, Mitchell was reassigned to command SG2 again?" Sam asked.

Vala only nodded.

"And that's why he's not here today?"

Vala nodded again as she gave Sam a knowing look, "As I'm sure you gathered by Daniel's not too subtle whining, Colonel Mitchell was evidently a superior jet fighter pilot on your planet, but he seems to lack what it takes to lead missions offworld."

"Sometimes leadership can be learned." Sam interjected, tried to be kind.

"Hmmm," Vala cocked her head disbelievingly, "I don't know, I think he should consider himself lucky he's in the Stargate program at all let alone in command of a team. He's ambitious, to be sure, but he certainly hasn't shown himself to be a good match for SG1.... Daniel has dismissed him as an 'arrogant, hot-shot ex-fighter pilot'." Vala sighed deeply, watching her husband help Janet clear the picnic table. Teal'c sat at the table; his hands neatly folded on its surface, and spoke to the pair in soft tones.

Sam watched the trio along with her for a long moment before saying, "You know, when I came to the Stargate Program I was a hot shot ex-fighter pilot from the Persian Gulf."

"But you were, even then, as you are now, far more than that, Sam. And among your many skills lies the ability to lead. You have it, Cameron Mitchell does not."

Sam didn't know what to say to that so she merely shrugged one-sided.

Vala gazed at her thoughtfully before she asked, "You've been leading SG1 for some time now, are you still considering withdrawing from command?"

Sam turned to her, nodding, "I think so, yes." She lifted her head to scrub briefly at the side of her face and forehead before returning to rest once more on her hand, "I've remembered all of that, and I think the timing's right. I'd already had some discussion with General Hammond on the matter before I was... you know, killed, and he understands. I've collected a lifetime of research over the years that will keep me involved in the stargate program, but once Janet and I have a child, I won't be going offworld anymore."

"Except when we go to PeredaVoy, of course?"

"Oh, pfft!" Sam waved dismissively at her, "Of course!" Making Vala smile. Sam nudged at her with her knee, "Thanks for coming over this week, Vala. I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed having you guys drop by."

"Our pleasure." Vala beamed, "You know, this whole week has gone by and I keep forgetting to ask about Cassie."

Sam felt her chest grow tight with emotion when she thought about how much she adored these people, and she inhaled deeply. Daniel and Vala had taken turns with Teal'c during the past week; dropping by to chat as well as helping to clean the house, bring groceries, etc. But during a few of Daniel and Vala's visits Sam had been fast asleep on the couch, leaving the pair to chat quietly with Janet in the kitchen.

Concern crossed Vala's face as she asked, "Was it strange for her, having you back? Is she coming home soon?"

Sam shook her head, wonderingly, "No. I mean, she seemed absolutely fine with it. Janet said she was happy when she told her about me, and she didn't seem freaked out. When we spoke on the phone the first time she said she was, 'beyond cool with it'."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Sam snorted bemusedly, "she said she understood because it was, 'a Hak'taur thing'."

"Oh, well then," Vala sighed, making a grand, dismissive gesture with her hand, "there you are." Sam laughed. "And when is she coming home?"

"Two more weeks. Then she'll be home for two weeks over Spring Break."

"Then we'll be due for another celebration?" Vala arched her eyebrows at her.

"Oh, absolutely." Sam dryly assured her, making Vala chuckle.

"Hey you two! " Daniel and Teal'c sauntered up to the pair, "It's time to go, Vala. Before we drain Sam to the point of collapse."

"This was great, Daniel," Sam genuinely, if tiredly, enthused, "Thank you, guys, for everything, really." Vala rose from the bench, she and Daniel both reaching to help Sam to her feet. "Oh man!" Sam groaned aloud as Daniel took the cane from her hand,

"Uh, I believe it's my turn to be your personal transportation valet?"

Vala rolled her eyes again, smiling, "He loves saying that." And stepped in to give Sam a gentle hug, "Take care, will you be coming back on base soon?" She asked.

"Yep," Sam answered as Vala stepped back, "We have one more week here at home then Janet says I can come back to work with her while she works her shift in the infirmary."

"Indeed." Teal'c stepped forward, a warm smile on his face as he enveloped Sam in a massive, and yet equally gentle hug, "I look forward to it."

"I even get to work in my lab for a couple of hours each day."

"Really?" Said Daniel as he stepped in to slip an arm under Sam's good arm and around her back.

"Really." Sam added brightly, her voice laced with sarcasm, "As long as I have a babysitter, then I have to have a nap in the infirmary."

"Yeah," Janet stood off one side, her arms folded across her chest, "It was either that or I lock her in the ICU under armed guard."

Daniel and Vala snickered, "See?" Sam complained, then muttered under her breath, "I feel like I've been signed up for daycare."

"You know I'm standing right here." Janet retorted in a mock-stern voice.

Vala laughed aloud this time and Daniel, supporting Sam, looked at her sideways, giving an amused snort as he slowly led her across the lawn to the back door of the house.

~

The setting sun was warm on Sam's face and she sat with her eyes closed, leaning her head against the back of the doublewide rocking chair that sat on the back porch. Several minutes passed when she felt the back of Janet's warm fingers caress her cheek,

"Hey, sweetheart," she called softly, "you awake?"

"Mmm hmm," Sam replied, opening her eyes, and reached to draw Janet's hand to her lips, kissing first the palm and then the back of her hand before pulling her to sit beside her. Janet tucked a leg under so she could sit facing her, "How about I cook dinner tonight?" Sam asked.

"Ooo, are you ordering Chinese, or Mexican?" Janet asked, one eyebrow arching innocently.

"Very funny, Colonel Fraiser. Actually, how about we keep it simple tonight and I order a pizza? That way we can maximize our snug and cuddle time together before going back to work tomorrow."

Janet held both Sam's hands in her own and gave them a squeeze, "With plenty of breaks for brief naps in between?"

Sam's eyes grew dark with desire and her voice dropped to a husky whisper; "At least I'm always ready for more when I wake up."

Janet grinned broadly, "Yes, Samantha, you certainly are." And leaned in for a quick kiss that Sam managed to prolong by firmly fixing her mouth on Janet's.

After what seemed like several minutes Janet reached a hand up to gently push Sam back against the rocking chair, laughter in her eyes, "Hey, dinner first. You need to keep your strength up, you know.... Although I don't think a combination pizza can be considered a health food."

"I was gonna' make a salad too."

"Oh, well, okay then..."

Sam grinned, "A quick dinner followed by long sessions of love-making, interspersed with brief, regenerating naps... you know, for you."

Janet emitted a short bark of laughter, "Oh my, the ex-fighter pilot speaks."

"I plan on doing a lot more than that between now and work tomorrow." Sam purred seductively.

"I believe you." Janet said, and leaned in for another quick kiss, then pulled back to gaze briefly into the blue of Sam's eyes before leaning back against the rocking chair.

"Is it just me, or did we do it this often before I, you know..." Sam's voice faded as she looked questioningly at her wife.

Janet gave an amused snort, "Yes, Sam, we've always been a very active couple. Although we were always careful to lock our bedroom door when Cassie lived at home so we never had to answer the question, why is Sam hurting mommy?"

"Oh my god!" Sam laughed.

Still smiling, Janet looked at her thoughtfully before asking, "Are you sure you want to go back tomorrow? There's no rush, you know."

Sam shook her head, "Nah, I'm okay.... Besides, I get to come have a nap with you in the infirmary before lunch, right?" She raised her eyebrows innocently.

Janet snorted again, "Incorrigible." She sighed contentedly then added, "There is another option, you know. I can't retire yet, but you can. You're still obviously in no shape to be pregnant yet, but...."

"I know," Sam interrupted her, "But I don't want to leave General Hammond high and dry. I obviously won't be going offworld once I'm pregnant, but I still want to help in the decommission of SG1."

"Are you sure... is this still what you want?" Janet squeezed her hands reassuringly.

"Absolutely." Sam answered her without hesitation. "I've served the Stargate Program for nearly ten years, and the Air Force for twice that, it's time. It's not fair that you have to keep having me as your patient who repeatedly comes back from the brink of death, or actual death, in your infirmary. There's still lots of work for us to do, but there are other ways to get the work done and have a life together, just for us."

"Just for us." Janet echoed, and they fell silent as they rocked softly in the chair.

"I'm starved." Said Sam, "Let's call Tony's."

"Okay," Janet said, rising from the chair she retrieved Sam's cane from where it hung from the porch rail. Handing it to her she slid under Sam injured shoulder, the sling now being left off for a few hours each day, and wrapped her arm around Sam's waist as they walked slowly to the back door.

"Is Cassie coming home this Friday or Saturday?" Sam asked, "I thought she changed it, but I can't remember."

"Saturday," Janet said, squeezing tenderly, "I can't wait to get her back here, and have the three of us together again." Janet slipped her arm from Sam's waist to step through the doorway into the kitchen and Sam followed, closing the door behind her.

"Me too." Sam echoed the sentiment, then added in a slightly breathless voice, "Janet?" Leaning heavily on her cane she stepped forward uncertainly as Janet turned to her, "Janet?" She said again, her voice weak and reaching out with her free hand grabbed the front of Janet's blue chambray shirt in a tight fist as she fell back against wall.

Janet covered the hand that gripped her shirt with one hand and quickly stepped around to encircle Sam with the other; bracing her knee behind her she slowed Sam's decent down the wall to the floor, "Easy, sweetheart, it's okay... easy now."

Sam had recovered enough to remain conscious during most of her quantum integration events. The memories were still vivid, immediate and intense, but Sam could now hear, if distantly, Janet's voice and feel her presence as she clenched her teeth and her body tensed, her eyes open, staring intently at the memory only she could see.

Sitting stiffly upright; her back against the wall, one leg bent at the knee and the other outstretched in front of her, Sam convulsively gripped the shirt and Janet knelt at her side, holding the tightly clenched fist to her chest, murmuring soft, comforting words. Faintly, Sam could hear her,

"It's okay Sam, easy... breathe. Easy now...."

"Enough, Sam." Janet's voice sounded strained and brittle and Sam totally ignored her. Not lifting her head from the pages she had spread on the work table in her office she had replied in a clipped tone,

"You relieved me of duty and sent me home to rest. I'm home. I'm resting."

"No, Sam, you're not." Janet sat in the chair closest to her, "Honey, please, it's been a month, you can't keep up this pace. You'll never help Colonel O'Neill this way. If he's still alive on Edora you will eventually find a way to bring him back, but you still have to eat, and you still have to sleep... Sam...." Janet leaned over and placed a hand on top of the hand rigidly gripping a pen, "Sam? Please stop this!"

"I can't!" She had suddenly shouted back, "I can't just give up!" And snatched her hand away.

Janet held up her hands in surrender, "Sweetheart, please, it's not your fault.... It's not your fault a meteor hit the stargate and trapped Jac..."

"NO!" Sam had shouted, and violently pushed herself away from the table, tipping over the chair as she leapt to her feet. "I can't just sit here and do nothing!" And threw the pen across the room.

Janet rose from her seat, "Honey, please, you're exhausted, you're practically asleep on your feet and you're snapping at everybody. Sweetheart, you can't..." She placed a hand on Sam's arm and Sam wrenched it away from her,

"No! You might have medical authority over me on the base, but you can't tell me what to do in my own home!" She had shouted the last and enraged, stomped out of the room and through the house, heading for the kitchen.

Janet had stood, her arm still frozen in midair, "WHAT?" Sam heard her explode behind her, "Come back here!" She shouted, running to catch up as Sam snatched her denim jacket off the coat rack and slammed through the kitchen door, into the garage.

She angrily slapped the button to open the garage door with the palm of her hand, her face a mask of fury as she snatched the helmet off the handlebars of her bike and, swinging a leg over the Ducati, jammed the helmet on her head and angrily fumbled with the key.

"Sam!" She heard Janet burst through the door, "What are you doing? Stop!" She ran to the bike and placed both hands on Sam's arm as she rose up and kicked on the engine, gunning it to life, "Sam," she pleaded, the fear undisguised in her voice, "you're in no shape to ride a bike this fast. Please, hon, please come back in the house and lie down with me for just a few minutes, okay?" The fear and desperation was plainly etched on her wife's face and a sudden flood of shame and guilt cooled some of her fury. Sam looked at her with miserable, haunted eyes and Janet squeezed her arm encouragingly, "C'mon," Janet entreated, "It's okay." Sam slumped on the bike and dropped her head down, closing her eyes tiredly.

"Just a few minutes, sweetheart, please."

She almost got off the bike. Almost. Almost, almost, almost.... She could feel her chin start to tremble and when a sob involuntarily broke from her she felt the anger come back in a rush and cranking the throttle, she tore out of the garage.

She couldn't remember much of the ride itself, only that she intended to take the fast racing bike out on a lone stretch of highway and take it up to at least 150 mph before going back home. Instead, she woke up in a private room at the academy hospital where Janet worked. She had evidently been there for some time because Janet stood at the overbed table, looking down at what was probably Sam's chart in her uniform and lab coat.

Afraid, Sam remained silent until finally Janet looked up from the chart,

"Hi, Sam, welcome back." She spoke the words in a monotone, the hurt and anger clearly etched on her face and Sam felt ashamed,

"Janet..."

"You're very lucky, Sam, you and your bike. Although I imagine you'll have to put a lot of work in it to get it running again. Do you remember what happened?" Sam mutely shook her head no, "You were hit by a young man driving a pickup truck. He and his friend had been drinking the night before and most of the morning and blew through a stop sign when they hit you. Witnesses said they clipped the rear wheel on your bike and sent you spinning at least fifty feet down the roadway." She looked down at the chart, "You sprained your back, broke you ankle, your leg, and cracked your knee. You also broke your wrist, some bones in your hand and you have some road rash there and on your arm, although your denim jacket and jeans protected you pretty well."

"Please, Janet," She begged, "I'm sorry."

Closing her eyes in exasperation, Janet turned away, and shaking her head said, "No, Sam..."

"Please, Janet," she felt her eyes brim with tears and her body begin to quake in fear and panic, "please, I'm so sorry..."

When Janet finally turned back to her, her eyes brimmed with tears as well but her voice shook with anger, "It's not enough, Sam. It's not fair, you've been snapping at everyone for weeks... it's not fair to Cassie... and it's not fair to me either. But Cassie is just a child, we haven't had her for that long and she deserves better from us. We're her parents and she deserves better from you, Sam...and so do I."

"I'm sorry, Janet... I'm so sorry." She was so frightened her throat had nearly twisted itself closed and she drew a choking breath, barely able to speak, "I promise," she had begged, tears spilling down her face, "please... please don't leave me. I promise it will never happen again. Please, I'm sorry, please..."

"What?" Janet had asked, bewildered, "Sam," she quickly dropped the bedrail to sit next to her, "I'm not leaving you." And quickly wiped an errant tear from her face as she leaned to wipe the tears from Sam's. "But you scared me, sweetheart. What you do for a living is terrifying enough for me and I still wrestle with how to accept that." Smoothing the bangs from Sam's forehead she leaned down to press her lips against it, whispering, "So please, love, don't ever scare me like that again."

Janet could feel the hand gripping her shirt suddenly loosen and become slack and she massaged it gently before lowering it to Sam's lap, "Sam?" She called to her, placing both hands on her face she shakily smoothed the bangs from her forehead, "You were gone from me a long time, sweetheart, I was starting to get worried." Boy, is that an understatement, a small voice chided her. She had compulsively checked her watch, feeling the panic rise as Sam's quantum event passed first the two-minute mark; then the three-minute mark. The petit mal-like convulsing had, in fact, been four minutes and nearly fifteen seconds in duration. The last two minutes Janet wanted to scream in frustration, should she drag Sam by her clenched fist to the phone and call paramedics? Should she have torn Sam's hand from her shirt and run for the Valium in her medical bag to try and stop the quantum event with an intravenous injection?

"Sorry." Sam's voice sounded weak, and she made a feeble attempt to clear her throat.

"Its okay, it just seemed to go on longer than usual. Want to get up and move to the couch?"

Too tired to answer, Sam only shook her head no.

"Okay," Janet said, trying to keep her voice light. Pushing Sam's legs to the side, she reached around to turn her by the shoulders as well, "That's it," she murmured soothingly. Turning to lean her back against the wall, she gently pulled Sam back against her so her head lay against her shoulder then wrapped her arms protectively around her. Instinctively, Sam nuzzled her neck, the rest of her lying limp in Janet's arms. "Hmm," she could feel the thrumming vibration in Janet's chest, "this is nice, but I warn you, our butts are gonna' kill us after a few minutes. So rest for a bit then we'll move you to the couch, alright?"

"Okay." Sam sighed. A full minute passed before Sam finally murmured against her neck, "I remembered when I wrecked the bike." She hesitated briefly before correcting herself, "I remembered why I wrecked the bike. I was upset and... obsessed, and I took it out on the people I love most." She tilted her head back to look into warm, brown eyes, "I'm so sorry I was such an asshole, Janet."

Janet gave her an amused snort; she had been so terrified for so long that day it still gave her a mild case of the shakes to remember it. Sam's Ducati had a top speed of 224 mph when she first bought it, but after she had tinkered with the transmission she took it out on a lone stretch of highway where Teal'c clocked her with a speed gun at 240 mph. Sam had been exultant, Teal'c hadn't seemed impressed at all and Janet had been mute with fear for days afterward. The day Sam blew out of the garage Janet had stood rooted to the concrete floor, there was no time to rush back into the house and grab car keys; Sam was long gone. There was no way to guess where she might go and after putting in a call to the front desk of every emergency room in a fifty mile radius, Janet had ended up in the garage, the door still open overhead, endlessly pacing circles with her wallet and keys stuffed in the pockets of her jeans, the cordless phone from the kitchen in one hand, her cel phone in the other. She had paced for over two hours, whispering aloud, "Please come home..." over and over again until it became a mantra she thought would drive her insane, until the phone rang. The intake coordinator at the academy hospital knew Janet and made sure her first words to Janet were, "she's going to be alright."

"Oh Sam, that was a bad, bad day that happened a long, long time ago." She planted a kiss on her hair, "It wasn't your fault. You were so tired; it wasn't your fault you weren't able to think clearly. You were so angry with yourself when you blew out of the garage, sweetheart, the accident wasn't your fault."

Sam tried to burrow herself deeper into Janet's neck as she spoke and didn't answer her when she finished. She knew Sam still carried a lot of shame and guilt for that day, she knew the hours and days Janet spent sleepless, worried, and frightened out of her wits whenever she went missing offworld or suffered some potentially life-threatening injury while on duty. But to stupidly risk her own life while at home had been unforgivable in Sam's mind, and Janet could still see her silently chastise herself for it.

She used the hand softly stroking Sam's hair to gently tilt her face towards hers, "Stop it now, Sam. That was a long time ago, it's over, we made it through and we're better now. That's how marriage works; you work together through the tough spots and you become stronger. We always have, we always will, and we'll always be together just because of that. Understand?" Her voice conveyed a presence that was so unique to her; when she spoke like this it was a command, an absolute commitment, total reassurance, and fierce unconditional love.

"Yes ma'am." Sam replied, rewarding her with a small, soft smile before tucking herself back under Janet's chin to nuzzle against her neck again.

"Good." Janet said, planting a quick kiss on her forehead, "Cuz' I'm hungry and my butt's killing me, so do you think you can make it to the couch now?"

~

Panting, Sam looked down as Janet crawled up the length of her body, "You know, if you exhaust me like that again we'll have to take another week off."

"We?"

"Well, yeah, you'll have to stay home and take care of me." Sam said, kissing Janet deeply, greedily sucking her taste from Janet's tongue, her hands roaming over her wife's body.

Janet pulled her mouth away, smiling, "Easy there, I don't want to exhaust you into a coma."

"I wouldn't want that," Sam smiled predatorily at her, "I'd much rather satisfy you instead." And pulled at her hips.

Janet obligingly dropped her legs on either side of Sam's uninjured leg, straddling her thigh. Slipping one hand around Sam's back, she kneaded Sam's breast with the other, "Mmm," she purred as she dipped her head to taste Sam's mouth. Sam moaned in her mouth and Janet's body answered, a sudden rush of creamy fluid slicking Sam's thigh.

As Janet undulated against her, Sam clung to her with her good arm, and keeping her right arm tucked close, she kneaded Janet's breast, feeling it grow taut and hard. Pulling at her nipple, she felt it pebble and stiffen between her fingers. If I can keep this up I should have full use of this hand and arm back in no time, she thought, if somewhat deliriously. In spite of her post-coital exhaustion, Sam felt her need rise again as Janet ground against her. She could feel her own center as it throbbed and pounded in concert with Janet's against her thigh; the heady scent of her wife's passion as it poured from her in a rush to coat her, assailing her senses and making her light-headed. Although her mind only distantly registered that the hot, copious liquid now ran off both sides of her thigh to soak the sheet beneath them.

Janet pulled her mouth from Sam's, "Nn-uh..." she grunted, "S-Sam..." She pleaded, grinding even harder against her, slamming her thigh into the hot center between Sam's legs with each grinding undulation. "Oh, god, baby..."

Sam opened her eyes, looking up into Janet's face, her head thrown back, "Janet," She panted, "Janet." With effort, Janet opened her eyes and looked down into Sam's, "Come for me." Sam grunted, demanding, "Come for me!" she grunted again, the words ending in a groan, and grasping Janet by her tightly clenched backside, pulled it roughly against her.

Janet cried out, this time convulsively pressing herself against Sam as her body went suddenly rigid, moaning deeply in Sam's ear and Sam's body, shuddering violently, surrendered utterly, her own juices pouring from her, her back arching as though it could leave the bed beneath her and slam them both into the ceiling above.

After what seemed like an eternity of heavy, post-coital breathing, Janet heard Sam mumble breathlessly; "You're gonna' have to stay home now... cuz' I am seriously not going to make it into work today."

Her eyes still closed, Janet chuckled into Sam's hair, "And good morning to you too."

***

General Landry scowled as he looked through the six-inch thick pane of Plexiglas and watched as Dr. Lee and 2 other physicists dragged heavy cables across the concrete floor,

"So much time has passed, Dr. Jackson, are you sure this is worth it?"

Daniel turned to him, a shocked expression on his face and he stammered, adjusting his glasses, "A-A-Are you serious? We've come so far, General. You can't mean that."

"Forgive me Doctor, but the safety and security of this base is paramount and so far no one here has been able to offer me any proof or real assurance that this controlled explosion of yours can be safely contained in that room.... Can it?"

"Well, actually, it's not the energy that's a concern in this case but how the mirror will react to it that we... just aren't sure about." Daniel finished lamely.

The general looked at him, then back into the heavily shielded room with skepticism, "I understand what the loss of Colonel Carter means to you, this base... hell, this whole planet, but the fact is her chances of survival were extremely poor to begin with, and despite all the sophisticated diagnostic tools at our disposal, we still don't know what the hell that thing in there," He waved his hand vaguely at the Plexiglas, "is made of, what its innards are, let alone how it actually works...."

"And we also risk totally frying the mirror, if it isn't a total loss already, and losing forever the only means we have of ever finding out what happened to Sam." Daniel shrugged, raising his hands in surrender, "What's the difference?" He pointed through the Plexiglas to the scientists working in the room, "The best minds we have right now say the explosion will not go beyond that room. Please, General, one way or the other, we have to know."

Landry sighed heavily, "When will you be ready to go?"

"A few more hours, at most. Dr. Lee wants to do one more dry run before he actually fires up the mirror, and we will, of course, have both medical and hazmat teams standing by."

"Okay, Doctor Jackson, call me when you're ready to set it off."

***

Sam stood at the bureau fumbling with the buttons on her olive drab uniform shirt, "Shit." She muttered, her frustration mounting.

"Hey," Janet had exited the bathroom behind her and, looking fresh in her smartly pressed uniform, slipped into her heels, "can I help?"

"Please," Sam turned to her, "and can I please be excused from physical therapy today? My shoulder is killing me from gripping your shirt last night."

"Well, you probably overdid it this morning."

Sam looked down at her, her eyes somehow both sheepish and unrepentant,

"Umm-hmm."

"And you hardly wore your sling at all yesterday." Janet admonished her as she buttoned Sam's shirt, "These are major injuries, Sam; you can't take a couple of weeks off and just expect to suddenly be a hundred percent again." Finished with the buttons she grabbed the sling from the top of the bureau and gently helped Sam slide her arm into it, "Did you take your meds?"

"Yes." Sam grimaced.

"The pain meds too?"

"Oh, definitely."

"Okay, sweetie," she finished securing the shoulder strap and reached up on her tiptoes to plant a small kiss on her cheek, "I'm sorry about your shoulder, you know you can always have your nap in the infirmary first this morning."

Sam shook her head, and limped to where her cane hung from the bedroom doorknob, "Oh no, you said a nap before lunch, and if you work you schedule right, you can take an early lunch with me and we can have my nap in our quarters."

Janet folded her arms across her chest and leaned back against the bureau, "Oh really?"

Sam stood in the doorway, leaning on her cane, eyebrows innocently raised, "Well, yeah. Didn't you say..."

"No, you big fibber." Janet gave her a sly grin, and turned to retrieve her watch. She slipped it on her wrist, her hand hesitating as she gazed at the triangular case that sat in front of the bureau mirror. "Sam," she called and picked up the case, holding it solemnly in her hands.

Without a word, Sam slowly crossed the room; she had been home for nearly a week before she noticed the crisply folded American flag encased in a triangle of glass and highly polished wood. Janet reverently smoothed her thumb over the brass plate on the bottom of the wooden frame, the nerve endings in her thumb sending brief messages of pain and grief to her brain each time it passed over a stamped letter or number. Engraved in the brass was the name, Colonel Samantha Carter, her date of birth, followed by her date of death.

Without looking up she asked, "Do you know how many hours I sat in this room, polishing this brass with my thumb?"

Sam had moved from the doorway to stand close, "No." She answered softly.

"This is the flag that draped your coffin. The guys did such a good job folding it, you know?" She could feel a lump forming and cleared it from her throat, "General Hammond presented it to me; he placed it in my hands, offering what were probably some heartfelt words of comfort.... But do you know," she said a bit wonderingly, "to this day I have no idea what he said to Cassie and me." She shook her head, a frown creasing her brow, "I've tried and tried to remember but it's just not there...." Janet drew a deep breath, "Anyway, since you came home I don't know what to do with this, I thought about placing it in your coffin.... You know, I buried you in... I mean, I buried her in Arlington Cemetery. But Cassie's been asking for it. It means a great deal to her and I was wondering, if it's okay with you, could I give it to her when she comes home?"

"Yes, of course." She rushed to reassure her, "Of course it's alright with me."

Janet sniffed and placed the flag back in its place in front of the mirror, "Okay." She nodded, "Okay." She repeated, this time nodding her head firmly, then turned and gently grasped the hand in the sling and placed the other over Sam's heart, "Thank you."

Sam was speechless, lost in the depths of Janet's eyes and distracted by the warmth of her hands. Finally, she managed, "I love you, Colonel Fraiser."

Janet flashed her a brilliant smile, "And I love you, Colonel Carter. Can I give you a lift to work?"

~

Sam's pain medication had kicked in by the time they reached the base, but she still didn't protest too much when Janet insisted she ride to the infirmary in the wheelchair. She was a little anxious about seeing her office in this reality for the first time and wanted to conserve as much of her energy as possible so she could spend her allotted two hours reviewing the projects in her lab before returning to the infirmary for her nap, which, as much as she hated to admit it, she'd probably need. After giving Sam another brief exam in the infirmary, Janet gave her leave to return to the wheelchair and introduced her to the airman Sam had privately dubbed, 'The Babysitter'. Airman Anderson's job was to simply stay in close proximity to Sam in case she had a quantum event, in which case he was instructed to help Sam safely to the floor, lying her on her side, and immediately call the infirmary for help.

"And I don't care what Colonel Carter's reasons are, Airman, unless she asks to come back here earlier you will bring her back to the infirmary no later than 1100 hours this morning, is that clear?" Janet had pinned the poor man with her sternest glare, her arms folded imposingly across her chest.

"Yes ma'am." He had replied, suddenly standing at attention.

Sam grinned sympathetically from her wheelchair and gave the airman a small wave, "Hi, there."

Janet turned to her, flashing her a fleeting and completely wicked smile before asking innocently, "Ready to go to work?" Sam narrowed her eyes at her before nodding and Janet leaned down to whisper in her ear, "Don't pout, sweetheart, you'll be back here before you know it. And if you're very good, we'll have your lunch and nap in our quarters."

"Really?" Sam asked, suddenly hopeful, her eyebrows practically creeping up into her hairline.

"Really." Janet smiled, although she was certain she'd be spending her lunch watching Sam sleep, which was fine with her. She looked forward to sitting on their bed with Sam's head on her lap, so her hands could stroke through soft, blond hair, "Keep the sling on today, alright?"

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"Mmm," Smiling, Janet hummed as she straightened back up again, "Compliance and enthusiasm, my favorites." As she turned to walk away she looked briefly at the young airman still standing at attention, "She's all yours, Airman Anderson."

~

"Thank you, sir." Sam called to General Hammond as he left her lab. She had gotten very little done so far this morning. Since her return most of her time had been spent with co-workers and curious colleagues welcoming her back. She would just get started on figuring out where a project had been left when someone else would come knocking at the doorway of her lab.

Sam heaved a heavy sigh and slumped in her wheelchair, "How you doin' there, Airman Anderson?" She asked tiredly.

The young man stood at parade rest near the lab door, "Fine Ma'am, how are you feeling?"

"Oh, just... swell." She drawled, mostly to herself. She really needed to see about getting a chair that would accommodate her injured leg like the wheelchair but that was more comfortable than the wheelchair. She raised her good shoulder and rotated it, leaning her head to one side to help relieve the tension there. She really wasn't going to be able to stay awake during naptime today.

"Hey, Sam!" Daniel called to her from the doorway, "Welcome back!"

Sam smiled and waved him in, "Hey, thanks. Where's Vala today?"

"Oh, she's assisting SG3 offworld this morning, operating in a diplomatic capacity. She's oddly talented in that way."

"Better not let her hear you say that."

He immediately placed a hand over his heart in apology; "She knows I mean that with love." Making Sam laugh, "If the curious looky-loos won't leave you alone you can always come and hang out in my lab till naptime. Today's the day I pop on the quantum mirror and have my monthly chats with some of the other Daniels and SG1 people."

"Really?" She asked, "That's today? You never mentioned that."

"Really? Well, uh, yeah..." Daniel hesitated, "In fact, this is kind of an anniversary for us here, you know. It was one month ago today that you came to us through the mirror, Sam."

"Really?" She said, taken aback, "Has it really only been a month?"

"Really," Daniel slid his hands in his pockets, "does it feel longer to you?"

She gave an amused, if tired, snort, "It feels like a lifetime, Daniel."

Daniel nodded and pushed away from the worktable he'd been leaning against, "Come by if you want."

"Okay," She called after him, "Thanks."

***

The small observation room was crowded and Daniel squeezed past Dr. Lee and the other physicists to peer down the equally crowded corridor where Dr. Lam stood with a gurney and the medical, HAZMAT and defense teams.

"General Landry?" Daniel called, as he tried to peer over the heads of the personnel.

"I'm coming," said the general, adding, "excuse me, please... make a hole people!" When he finally appeared next to Daniel he turned and raised his hands above his head for their attention, "Alright, listen up! You know why you are here! This morning we are trying to bring back one of our own! If our efforts to activate this quantum mirror are successful then our goal is to find out what happened to Colonel Carter and bring her home if possible. To this end I want the defense teams to be standing at the ready as close to the door as possible, the medical team behind them and the HAZMAT team behind them!" He turned to SG1, Dr. Lee and the other scientists, "Once that mirror is activated I want it clear that under no circumstances is anyone to touch the mirror for any reason, is that understood?"

Daniel had already gone to the mat with the general over this issue and lost, so he merely stood quietly. His eyes downcast, he glanced surreptitiously at the other SG1 members. General Landry caught the look and pinned them all with a commanding glare, "That is an order, SG1!"

"Yes sir." Daniel and Col. Mitchell mumbled. Teal'c only gave a formal nod to indicate his acceptance.

"Alright Doctor Lee," Said General Landry, "If you're ready, let's do this."

***

Daniel stood quietly in front of the mirror in his lab. He had been standing there for several minutes, looking down at the remote he held in his hands. He had lied when he told Gen. Hammond that he had continued to check the location Sam came from since her arrival. He hadn't activated the mirror for at least three weeks; each time he activated it he found himself increasingly afraid he'd find an alternate version of himself or someone else from Sam's old world, looking for her, wanting her back, and yet.... He sighed, and yet he felt a tremendous amount of guilt; shouldn't they know she's not only okay here but she's happy too? And what about the Cassie of Sam's old world? Didn't she deserve...?

"This is stupid." He muttered aloud. What he really needed, he decided, was to talk to Vala again about it. Several long moments passed before he finally emitted a loud sigh. Okay, he nodded to silently, he would just talk to the Alternate Daniels today to check in, then wait to see what Vala...

"Excuse me, uh, Doctor Jackson?" Col. Mitchell stood in the doorway of his lab, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure." Daniel turned and placed the remote on his worktable, pursing his lips in annoyance, "But only a minute, okay? I was just about to check in with the Alternates."

"Oh sure," Mitchell waved apologetically, "I'm about to go offworld with SG2 in a few myself... I just wanted to stop by and say I know you weren't particularly impressed with me the few times I led SG1, and I just wanted to apologize... I hope there are no hard feelings."

"Absolutely none." Said Daniel with absolute insincerity. He did not like this man and because he was not a member of SG1 he was not privy to the knowledge that he and Vala and Teal'c had agreed some time ago with Sam and Gen. Hammond that their lives and work were now taking them on paths that no longer required a formalized team, so Col. Mitchell would have to be content with leading SG2.

"It's just that, if Colonel Carter decides not to rejoin SG1, or she is declared unfit for duty..."

"Unfit for duty?" Daniel did nothing to hide his annoyance now, "What?"

"I'm just saying," Mitchell held his hands out in a gesture of surrender, "if you would please reconsider me..."

A blaze of brilliant white light suddenly filled the room, momentarily blinding both men,

"Shit!" Mitchell cried, shielding his eyes.

Dread filling him, Daniel slowly pulled his hands from his eyes and turned to look in the mirror. He could feel his heart beating so hard a small, terrified part of him feared it was on the verge of pounding right out of his chest. In the mirror he could clearly see himself holding up a large sign that read,

"Oh, my god." Daniel breathed. He grabbed the remote off the worktable and simultaneously pressed the two symbols that activated the audio, "Uh, yes," he waved nervously, "hi there. Yes, Sam came through our mirror a month ago, badly injured, but she's doing great now..."

"Great!" The other Daniel quickly turned to wave at someone behind him then turned back, "Listen, could you get her for me? I don't know how long we can maintain this connection, our mirror here was damaged and..."

"I'm on it!" Daniel heard Mitchell shout behind him, and he turned to see him bolt from the lab.

"No, wait!" Daniel yelled, but Mitchell was gone. He quickly turned back to the mirror and pointing to the Alternate Daniel, he stammered as he backed toward his phone on the wall, "W-w-wait! W-wait just a second, Daniel, I have to tell you something about Sam since she's been here, just, just..." and tearing the phone from its mount called the infirmary, "This is Daniel Jackson!" he shouted into the receiver, "I need Doctor Fraiser in my lab right now! It's an emergency! Tell Doctor Fraiser to come to my lab right now!"

~

"Okay," Sam groaned as she raised herself from the stool and reached for her cane, "That's it, Anderson, I'm done." She checked her watch then turned to motion for the wheelchair, "It's only 10:30 and I got nuthin' left, I admit it freely." Airman Anderson held the wheelchair steady while she tiredly lowered herself and her cane into it. She had been hopeful early on that she would not only last until 11:00 but was convinced she would be able to return to her lab after her mandatory nap for another couple of hours in the afternoon. But what energy she had seemed to drain from her so quickly during the last thirty minutes part of her was now afraid she would black out in the chair on the way back to the infirmary. It's probably just the stress of being back, she tried to reassure herself; this is just ordinary fatigue. But Janet's going to be really pissed, she moaned silently.

Airman Anderson brought the wheelchair to a stop in front of the elevator and slid his keycard in the access port. The sudden sound of boots pounding toward them down the corridor made the airman turn abruptly and he nearly drew his sidearm out of instinct. Col. Mitchell came flying around the corner and nearly collided with Sam's chair,

"Jackson's got the mirror on and they want you back!" He shouted, grabbing the chair.

"What? Wait!" Sam, turned in the chair, "Wait, Cam..."

"Can't wait!" Mitchell shouted and turning the chair, began to push it as fast as he could down the corridor; "I got it from here, Airman!" He shouted over his shoulder.

~

"Okay!" Mitchell shouted as he came flying through the doorway of Daniel's lab, pushing the wheelchair carrying an ashen-faced Sam,

"Daniel?" She called to him, clearly terrified.

Daniel turned from the mirror and held up his hands to stop Mitchell, "Look, Mitchell... Cameron!" He put his hands out to grab the handles on Sam's wheelchair to stop it, "Stop! I know you're trying to help here, but just slow down a second, okay?"

The mirror suddenly flickered and the Alternate Daniel waved his hands in the glass,

"Uh, actually... guys?"

Daniel turned back to the mirror, "Is there any way you can stabilize the energy you've hooked up to that?"

"No!" The Alternate Daniel shouted, "It's running on a stored amount we just shot into it and I think it's about to run out..."

Mitchell shouted, "There's no time!" And tossing Sam's cane aside, grabbed her by her upper arms and dragged her out of the chair. Sam screamed in pain and Daniel rushed forward,

"What are you doing?" Daniel grabbed Sam from behind and wrapping his arms around her waist, pulled her back into the chair, "Look, just calm down, everybody." Daniel patted at the air with outstetched hands, speaking more to himself than Mitchell when Janet and Teal'c came flying into the lab.

"Sam?" Janet cried, and rushed towards her.

"Jane..." Sam turned in the chair as Mitchell grabbed her again, this time by her shirtfront,

"Stop!" Daniel cried, and grabbed at Mitchell who shoved him back and grabbed Sam again and this time, shouting with the effort, wrenched her from the wheelchair and flung her at the glass.

"NO!" Janet screamed as Sam disappeared through the mirror only to reappear in the quantum mirror's reflection. As she ran to the mirror she could see Sam lying on the floor on the other side and could hear her screaming her name, "SAM!" She cried, "SAM!" and as she stretched out her hand to touch the glass, the mirror went dark.

Daniel grabbed the hair on the sides of his head with both hands, "OH MY GOD!" He wheeled on Mitchell, screaming at the top of his lungs, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" And grabbing him by his shirtfront, shoved Mitchell hard against the wall, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" he shrieked again, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"

"What in the hell's goin' on in here?" Gen. Hammond breathlessly demanded from the doorway.

Teal'c calmly pulled Daniel's hands from Mitchell's shirtfront, and Mitchell held up his hands in surrender,

"Hey, man, I was just doing what needed to be done, okay, Jackson?"

"So you could command SG1 again, right, asshole?" Daniel snarled menacingly.

"Hey!" Mitchell stepped away from the wall, but Teal'c put a restraining hand against his chest,

"Is this true?"

It was not so much the deadly tone but the Jaffa's eyes that stopped Mitchell from saying anything more.

Daniel turned and cautiously approached Janet where she knelt on the floor in front of the mirror, "Janet?" He knelt down next to her and called to her again, "Janet?"

Janet stared vacantly at the mirror, the pads on the fingers of her right hand rested lightly against the cool, dark glass; her face was tear-stained, but she wasn't crying anymore.

"Janet?" Daniel put a hand on her shoulder and called to her again, "Janet?"

***

Sam grunted in pain when she landed on her back on the concrete floor in her old reality. She landed at Daniel's feet and when he went to help her she crawled away from him, "NO!" She cried, and using her good arm she frantically scrambled across the floor towards the mirror. She could hear Janet screaming her name as she crawled, "JANET!" Sam screamed, "JANET! JANET!" Dimly, she could see the terror written on her wife's face and as Janet reached out to touch the glass, the mirror went dark.

"NOOOO!" Sam screamed, "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" Daniel knelt next to her, his hands frozen helplessly in midair as Dr. Lam and the medics rushed into the room, "NO!" Sam cried, "NO, JANET, PLEASE!"

She continued to sob and scream in agony as the medics placed her on the gurney and Daniel and Teal'c watched in mute horror as Dr. Lam yelled, "I can't sedate her unless you hold her down!"

"Oh my god, Teal'c." Daniel said from his place on the floor, "What have we done?"

Next: The Way It's Supposed To Be