I Am Your Density

by Tittamiire

URL: http://www.area52hkh.net/ast/tittamiire/iamyourd.php
Summary: Sam starts appearing in Janet's childhood.
Info: Originally written for the Sam and Janet ficathon on livejournal
Apologies to Audrey Niffenegger

'Crap,' said a voice from the rhododendron bush.

Janet frowned and climbed to her feet from sand pit which had half a respectable looking fort built in it. She listened again, just in case whoever had sworn in the bush was about to do it again.

'Hello?' Janet said, concerned that she might be talking to herself.

A woman stuck her head out of the bush and looked around. There were twigs and leaves stuck in her hair.

'Hi,' said the woman. She stuck her hand out of the dense bush as well and waved, there was a bracelet or something on her wrist.

'What're you doing in there?' Janet asked her.

'Ah well, that's a very long story,' the woman said. 'Listen, could you do me a favour? Could you run into the house and get me a towel, or a blanket or a t shirt or something?'

'I'm not supposed to talk to strangers,' Janet informed her.

'I'm not a stranger,' the woman said, shifting a little in the bush so she could stick more of her head out. 'We're going to be really good friends one day. My name's Sam, see, we're not strangers any more. I really need a towel, blanket or something.'

Janet considered this for a moment and looked at the blonde woman in the bush again.

'Mooooom!' she called, turning and running towards the house.

When she and her Mom came running down the garden there wasn't anyone in the bush, or anywhere in the back garden.

Her Mom slapped her legs and then made her spend the rest of the sunny afternoon sitting in her bedroom as punishment for lying.

XXXX

Janet sat on the swings in the playground and scuffed the toes of her shoes in the dirt below. The playground was empty. All the other children had left already, but Janet's Dad was late and she wasn't allowed to walk home by herself so instead she waited by herself in the empty playground.

'Hi,' said someone and Janet looked up to see a blonde haired woman walking towards her from around the back of the school. She was wearing a pair of boys trousers and an oversized novelty t shirt, an odd black bracelet and no shoes, but she otherwise didn't look like a crazy tramp so Janet replied, 'Hi.'

The woman took a seat on the swing next to her and pushed herself gently with the balls of her bare feet. 'My name's Sam,' she said.

'I'm Janet.'

'I know.'

Janet twisted on the seat of the swing and looked at the woman. 'I know you. You were in my garden. You were standing in a bush. When I went and got Mom you'd gone.'

'Yup, that was me,' Sam said. 'Have you seen me any other times yet?'

'No. Just that once and I got in a lot of trouble for lying, but I wasn't lying.'

'No, you weren't. I'm sorry you got in trouble.'

Janet scuffed in silence for a while.

'So, we waiting for your Dad?' Sam asked her.

'He's late,' Janet explained. 'He's always late.'

'Yeah, my Dad used to pick me up a lot when I was little. He was always late as well.'

Janet nodded and kicked at a stone she'd uncovered in the dirt, trying to work it loose. 'You said we're going to be friends.'

'One day,' Sam agreed.

'Why can't we be friends now?'

'I guess we can, but I'm not going to be around all the time.'

'Can we be friends when you're around?'

'Sure,' Sam said with a smile at her.

There was the sound of a car on the road. 'That'll be my Dad,' Janet said, getting up off the swing. 'I'll see you around?'

'Definitely,' Sam said.

Janet ran across the tarmac of the playground to the school gate in time to see her Dad just getting out the car and looking around.

'I'm sorry I'm late pumpkin,' he said.

Janet smiled at him and accepted an apologetic hug.

'How was your day?' he asked as Janet climbed into the back seat.

'Alex spilt his milk all over his shoes at lunch.'

'Did he?' her Dad asked brightly, checking her seatbelt.

'And I did a really good picture.'

'I can't wait to see it,' her Dad went on as he climbed into the drivers seat.

'I made a new friend too, she's called Sam.'

'Really?' her Dad asked.

'Yeah, she was on the swings just now,' Janet said, pointing as they pulled away from the gates. She frowned when there wasn't anyone at the swings. 'Oh, she must have gone.'

XXXX

'Shit,' said a voice quietly from behind the tree at the bottom of the garden. Janet frowned, but tiptoed through the evening gloom carefully.

'Hello?'

'Hello?' replied the voice. Janet edged forward so that she could see around the tree.

'Sam!'

'Argh!' said the woman, trying to wrap her arms around herself.

'You're naked.'

'Do I know you?'

'It's Janet, stupid.'

'Janet? What the.....' she tailed off. 'Listen, could you get me something to cover myself up with?'

'Yeah, I'll be right back.'

She ran into the house and up the stairs calling, 'Mom, I'm grabbing a towel because the grass is getting wet and I want to watch for meteors,' on the way and back down again and out into the back garden.

She couldn't see Sam initially and was expecting her to have disappeared again, but she was crouching behind the tree and trying to stay out of sight. Janet handed the towel behind the tree and waited until Sam had wrapped it around herself. It wasn't the most effective cover, but it did the job. Janet saw the black bracelet on her wrist again and wondered what it was for.

'Why are you naked?'

'It's complicated,' Sam said, which made Janet angry.

'Why do you suddenly appear and disappear then?'

'I'm not entirely sure what's going on myself.'

'Friends tell each other things,' Janet informed her, folding her arms.

'We're friends?'

'Yes, last time I saw you was about two years ago, but you said we could be friends.'

'Oh, um, how many times have you seen me before?'

'Two.'

'And both times I've appeared and then disappeared.'

'And had clothing problems,' Janet said nodding.

'Uh, right,' Sam said. 'Well, I seem to be travelling in time...or maybe just your time...or I'm having some really vivid hallucinations.'

'Yeah right,' Janet said, disbelievingly. 'Time travel isn't possible.'

Sam shrugged, 'We've landed on the moon....how far away do you think flying cars and time travel is?'

Janet considered this, 'Cool...you have a flying car?'

'Uh, not personally.'

'Oh,' Janet turned and sat against the roots of the tree. 'I'm staying out to watch the meteor shower,' she told Sam.

'Cool,' Sam said, taking the cue to settle down against a root on the other side of the tree herself. 'Seen any?'

'Not yet, clouds keep coming across.'

'You like science then?'

'Yup, I'm going to be an astronaut when I grow up,' Janet informed her. She picked a stick up out of the flowerbed and dragged it in the dirt to draw a picture. 'So, if you're from the future you're friends with me in the future.'

'Yes,' Sam said.

'Am I an astronaut?'

'I'm not telling you,' Sam said. 'I need to make as few a changes as possible. You need to want to be what you want to be.'

'So I'm not an astronaut in the future?'

'I didn't say that,' Sam said slowly.

'But if I was an astronaut you'd have just said 'Yes' and told me how hard to needed to work to achieve it. So what am I, in the future?'

'I'm not telling you.'

'Some friend you are,' Janet said, folding her arms again.

'Well, you're a good friend, in the future.' Sam said, seemingly perturbed by Janet's huff.

'I've got a best friend now, Emily.'

'Yeah?'

'We go swimming together. Do I have a cool job in the future? Even if I'm not an astronaut.'

Sam paused for a moment and shifted slightly before she answered, 'Yeah, a pretty cool job.'

'That's something.'

'So, aren't you suppossed to be looking for meteors?'

'Oh, yeah,' Janet said, poking her head out from under the tree to look at the clearing sky. 'Do you want to watch?'

'I think I'll stay under the tree,' Sam said.

'Okay,' Janet scrambled out from under the branches and out onto the lawn. She lay down on the grass and looked up at the sky now that the clouds had cleared.

'Sam, Sam,' she called when she spotted one, 'I saw one.'

'I saw it too,' Sam said from under the tree.

Janet went quiet again, watching the meteors streak across the sky until she heard her Mom calling from the back door.

'Coming!' Janet called back and scrambled to her feet. 'Sam, I need to go in now,' she said. She tiptoed over to the tree, but there wasn't anyone there and just a towel sitting on the roots.

Janet sighed and picked it up to take it back inside.

XXXX

'See you tomorrow,' Janet said to Rachel and her Mom who was driving the car. 'Thanks for the ride Mrs Cooper.'

She closed the car door with a clunk and turned to stroll up the path to the front of her house. Her Dad's car wasn't there and she knew her Mom would be out for another couple of hours yet so she had a pleasant spring in her step at the freedom of having the house to herself for a while. She slung her bag down inside the back door, dropped her coat over the banister and rummaged in the fridge for a snack.

When she stood upright there was a figure at the window and she jumped and dropped the jar of mayonnaise. It was full enough that it landed on the linoleum with a dull thud without breaking. Janet peered at the figure silhouetted against the window by the sun behind them and nearly ran to call the police when they waved, but she took a step forward again and smiled when she recognised them.

She hurried to pull the back door open.

'Sam!' she said brightly. 'I haven't seen you for, well, years. Oh,' Janet stopped and blushed when she realised Sam was naked, except of course for the wrist band.

'Can I come in?' Sam asked. Two arms did little to preserve her modesty and she was already shivering in the winter temperatures.

'Yes, um yes,' Janet said, stepping inside and back to let Sam inside. 'Why are you always naked?'

'Always?' Sam asked shivering.

'Yeah, you're always naked, or dressed oddly, but mostly naked.'

'How many times have you seen me?'

'This is number four.'

'Oh, um, well, I think the technology that is sending me through time just sends me, not any clothing.'

'Except that bracelet.'

'Yeah,' Sam said, frowning slightly, 'Could I have a blanket or something? I'm freezing.'

'Oh yeah, uh, you'd better come upstairs actually, I don't know when Dad is going to be home.'

Sam followed her through the house and up the stairs into Janet's bedroom. Janet left her sitting nervously on the bed while she went and retrieved her Mom's bathrobe and some wool socks for Sam.

'Here, this should help,' she told her.

Sam took both and turned her back so she could pull the bathrobe on. She wrapped her arms around herself and sat back down on Janet's bed, looking around, 'Nice room.'

Janet took a seat on the carpet and pulled a face, 'It's pink, I don't like pink.'

'You don't like pink?'

Janet shook her head fiercely, 'I hate pink. You should know this, we're supposed to be friends.'

'In the future, you like pink, I mean, you're not dressed entirely in pink all the time, but the right shade of pink really suits you so you wear it sometimes.'

'Never going to happen,' Janet said.

Sam smiled to herself, 'So, what do you want to be when you grow up?'

'Not an astronaut,' Janet said triumphantly. 'I'm going to be a journalist,' she hunted for a clue in Sam's face that she was right, but Sam's face maintained carefully neutral when she returned Janet's gaze.

Janet sighed, 'Just don't tell me I'm a bored housewife with three children. That would be really lame.'

Sam smiled at that and Janet felt slightly triumphant, 'Hah!'

'I didn't say anything,' Sam protested.

'But you smiled, I know one more thing I'm not. I'm not an astronaut and I'm not a bored housewife,' Janet pointed out. She threw herself back onto the floor and sprawled out, stretching her toes. 'I'll never be a bored housewife. My Mom keeps saying that when I'm old enough I'll meet a nice boy and fall in love and any job I do will be just until I marry him, but I don't think I want to do that.'

'No?' asked Sam, her voice carefully neutral.

'I want an exciting job that's why I want to be a journalist. That's really glamorous.'

Sam shifted on the edge of the bed and tucked her feet up under her, 'Are you good at English then?'

Janet shrugged, 'I'm getting an A, but then I'm getting an A in everything. Science is a lot more fun though.'

'Yeah?'

'Yeah, I've got some homework that I should do actually.'

'Want me to help you with it?'

'Are you any good at science?'

'Quite good,' Sam said and smiled as if it there was a joke. Janet got up from the floor and wandered downstairs to fetch her school bag from downstairs. She glanced out of the window in case her Dad was pulling his car up onto the drive. There wasn't any sign of him so she hurried back upstairs with her bag. She headed straight for her desk in her room and pulled her books out.

Sam got from the bed and came over to perch on the edge of Janet's desk. She read the homework assignment over Janet's shoulder and smiled.

'I remember doing something very similar in school,' she said.

'How old are you anyway?' Janet asked, retrieving her exercise book.

'I'm in my thirties.'

'Sheesh, you're old, nearly as old as my parents.'

'Hey!' Sam said, punching her lightly on the upper arm, 'Watch it!'

Janet giggled slightly and pulled her pen from her pencil case, 'So, I'm definitely going to get an A this time?'

'Ya sure you betcha,' Sam said.

They worked for a while, until Janet heard the backdoor and then her Mom yell, 'Janet?' from the kitchen.

'Yeah?' Janet replied, looking at Sam and wondering how she was going to explain the grown up woman dressed in just a bathrobe and socks in her bedroom.

'Why is the mayonnaise on the kitchen floor?'

'Oops,' Janet said, jumping up from her chair. She looked at Sam again, 'You, um, can hide in my closet? Or under my bed?'

'I'll take the closet,' Sam said, getting up off the desk and moving towards it.

'Sorry,' Janet said, 'but there's no way I could explain this to my Mom.'

'I know,' Sam said with a smile and opened the closet to step inside. Janet shut the door after her and ran down the stairs to her Mom calling, 'Sorry Mom, I was making a snack.'

'And you left the mayonnaise on the floor?'

'I got distracted.'

'Thinking about boys?'

'Euw, no!'

Her Mom teased her, Janet put the mayonnaise away and then her Dad was home and it was time to make dinner. She had to, uncharacteristically, offer to clear the plates up in order to smuggle some leftovers upstairs for Sam. She made sure her bedroom door was securely shut before she opened the closet door, half expecting Sam to have vanished, but she was sitting there in the gloom, her head lost behind Janet's clean clothes.

'Hi,' Janet whispered, not wanting her parents to hear.

'Hi,' Sam whispered back, taking the hint to keep quiet. She ducked her head slightly to look past the bottom of Janet's shirts.

'I brought you dinner,' She said, handing the plate over.

'Thanks,' Sam replied, taking the plate and looking at the potatoes.

'Sorry it's cold.'

'It's fine,' Sam said, patting the carpet in front of the closet. Janet sat down and watched Sam try and eat as neatly as she could with her fingers.

'I thought you'd have disappeared by now.'

'Do I normally disappear?'

'After a little bit. You've never stayed this long before.'

'I don't know how it works,' Sam said. 'This might all be a hallucination or an illusion. You might not be real,' she said to Janet.

'I'm real. You're the one who might not be real or a crazy person!' Janet protested in her loudest whisper.

'Or you might be both!' Sam teased, still in a whisper.

'Whatever. So, do we live on the moon in the future?'

'I'm not telling.'

'You already said we had flying cars.'

'I let that slip huh?'

'Yup, and I remembered.'

'Good job,' Sam said only slightly patronisingly.

'Janet!' her Mom called from the hallway. 'Are you going to have a shower?'

'Yes Mom,' Janet called back, scrunching her face up. 'I should go.'

'I'll finish my dinner,' Sam said, gesturing to the plate.

Janet stood up and shut her in again, feeling slightly rude and went to get her shower.

Her Mom was waiting for her when she came out of the bathroom door, her face looked like thunder.

'Janet! What was my bathrobe and an empty plate doing in your closet.'

'Why were you in my closet?' Janet snapped back.

'I was putting some clothes away.'

'Oh, um,' Janet started, feeling both relieved that Sam hadn't been caught again, but desperately trying to work out an explanation for the bathrobe and the plate.

XXXX

'Stop dawdling,' the leader at the front snapped at the few of them who were dragging their feet at the back of the group of Girl Scouts. The group was walking back towards their camp in the dark after a day of wholesome walking and building things with string. There was a lot of giggling and flashlight waving and Janet was fed up of all of it. She hadn't wanted to join the girl scouts, but her Mom had made her and she wasn't enjoying her first camping trip. She kicked at stones along the path and thought of the party she'd been invited to this weekend that she was missing. Jennifer's parents were out of town. It would have been much better than traipsing through woods in the dark.

After the walk they sat around the camp fire to sing songs and Janet wandered away on the pretence of going to the bathroom, but really, she just wanted some peace and quiet. She walked back into the woods a little way. It was dark and she imagined werewolves and vampires lurking in the dark to jump out at her. She scared herself enough to make goose bumps dance across her skin, or maybe it was the loss of warmth after the sun had set.

When she heard the twig break she nearly jumped out of her skin. There was someone in the woods, just off the path, but before Janet could move she heard someone call her name in a harsh whisper.

'Hello?' she responded.

'It's Sam,' the voice said.

'And you're naked?'

'Of course,' her voice sounded tired.

'I'll get something,' Janet replied. She turned on her heel and ran back to the tents. Camp fire songs were already the last thing on her mind, but she had to skirt carefully around the group in order to retrieve a couple of sleeping bags from one of the big tents. She ran back to where she'd heard Sam on the path and then slowed to a careful tiptoe, looking for her.

'Sam?' She called.

'Here,' she replied from the far side of a tree. Janet walked carefully over the dead leaves towards her and held out a sleeping bag. Sam looked up at her slowly in the dark and took it. Her movements were sluggish as she unzipped the bag and wrapped it around herself. Janet looked away, of course, but she wasn't sure that Sam cared.

'Here,' Janet said, using the second bag that she'd brought for herself and draping it around Sam's shoulders.

'We can share,' Sam told her and Janet sat down next to her on the dirt, pulling the edge of the second sleeping bag under her bum and draping the end across her shoulder.

'You okay?' she asked Sam.

'I'm very very tired,' Sam said, her head low. Janet shuffled on the bag slightly so that she could lean against Sam. She felt warm through the sleeping bag. 'You can sleep, I'll stay here and keep a look out.'

'Thanks,' Sam said, 'but won't you be missed from somewhere?'

'Yeah, but the worst they'll do is kick me out of the scouts and I want to be kicked out. It's stupid.'

Sam rubbed at her face before she spoke again, 'You never told me you were a girl scout.'

'Probably because I've only been one for two weeks, and after I go missing from the camp and they can't find me it might be two and a half weeks at the most. I was supposed to be at a party this weekend, but Mom made me come here.'

'I think most Mom's would prefer their daughters to be stuck in the woods with a bunch of other girls than out at a party,' Sam said her voice still weary.

Janet shrugged, 'All the cool kids will be there and some boys, not like here.'

'Boys huh?' Sam replied, barely awake.

'Billy said he was going. I like him and I think he likes me.'

'Billy?'

'Yeah, he's in the science club, but he's not as nerdy as the rest of them.'

'Sounds good,' Sam whispered.

'And his older sister is cool.'

'mmhmm,' Sam said, her head slumped to the side, resting on Janet's shoulder.

Janet sighed and pulled the sleeping bag round her back a bit more.

After a while, she dozed as well, letting her head rest against Sam's.

She woke up when someone called her name not far away and when she opened her eyes she saw beams of flashlights stabbing through the trees. She was curled up in the two sleeping bags, but they were otherwise empty. However, when Janet put her hand out the other sleeping bag was still warm. She smiled to herself and stood up.

'Time to get kicked out of the scouts,' she muttered to herself.

XXXX

'We're going to need some supplies for this,' Billy said, gesturing to their plan for the science fair that was getting increasingly complicated.

'Yeah, I've been writing a list,' Janet said, adding 'copper wire' to it and handing it over. Billy grinned, 'I'll run out and get them.' He bent down and gave her a slightly sloppy kiss before running to get the car keys. He hadn't had his drivers permit long and was using every excuse possible to use it.

Janet sighed and scribbled a few more notes on their plan.

'Hi,' said a voice from the doorway. Janet looked up to see Billy's older sister Janice standing in the doorway. She was technically watching Billy while their parents were on holiday, but she'd mostly left him, and Janet, alone all week, which Janet appreciated. Billy's sister was a worldly wise twenty one years old, studying art at the local community college and also a hippy who liked to walk around in her bare feet and talk about peace.

'Hi,' Janet replied.

'Where's my brother running off to?'

'We need some supplies for the science fair.'

'Ah,' Janice said. She walked into the room and looked at the plan, 'Man, Billy comes up with some complicated ideas. It's a good job he's got such a smart girlfriend.'

'Er, thank you.'

'And you're pretty too,' Janice told her, reaching out to brush a strand of hair back from Janet's face. She looked at her intently and Janet shifted uncomfortably. 'You have good features,' she said. 'Would you let me paint you some time?'

'Paint?' Janet asked, feeling distinctly uncomfortable.

'Yeah, for my art. I like painting beautiful people.'

Janet felt herself blush and shifted in her chair, wondering how long Billy would be gone.

'You're cute when you're embarrassed,' Janice told her. 'Heck, you're just cute.'

'Uh, thank you?' Janet said.

'C'mon, don't play shy. I've seen the way you look at me. You think I'm hot.'

'No, I mean, you're cool and all,' Janet started, but stopped when Janice put a finger onto her lips.

'You don't really love Billy,' she told her.

Janet opened her mouth to protest, but Janice leant forward suddenly and kissed a very surprised Janet on the mouth. Janice's lips were soft, but the kiss wasn't as slobbery as Billy's were and after her initial surprise Janet found herself kissing back. Janice shifted her body, not breaking the kiss, but grabbing hold of Janet and pulling her up out of the chair. She slid her arms around her and Janet's gasped when she grabbed hold of her ass.

Janice pulled back from the kiss then and grinned, 'You never look like that when Billy kisses you. I've been watching.'

Janet was too stunned to reply, and any words that might have been forming were banished from her mind when Janice slid a hand up her back under her shirt. She kissed her again, pushing forward again and slipping the tip of her tongue into Janet's mouth. It was as if a switch went somewhere and suddenly Janet was kissing her back and moving her arms to put them round Janice's shoulders.

She had a point, this really wasn't like kissing Billy; this was like electricity and there was want and need and Billy had never made heart skip like that.

Janice slid her hands around under Janet's shirt and up, ghosting them over her bra. Janet felt her knees wobble and she broke away from the kiss, gasping for air. Janice caught her and steered her over to bump her up against the wall. She pressed hard against her, hands still roaming under Janet's shirt and began to kiss her way down her neck.

There was the sound of a car door outside.

'Shit, Billy,' Janet said, trying to push Janice off her. It took some effort, but Janice eventually looked up.

'I didn't hear anything,' Janice protested, moving in to start kissing her again.

The back door rattled.

'No!' Janet said in a harsh whisper, pushing Janice off her and making a bolt for the stairs. She rearranged her clothes as she ran.

'Forgot my wallet,' Billy said as she hurried towards him.

'You get the supplies, we'll do the project later,' Janet said.

'Um, okay,' Billy said, sounding very confused.

Janet shot out of the door of the house and virtually ran down the drive to the sidewalk. She slowed a little once she was out of the bottom of the drive and focussed on breathing and making sure she wasn't flashing skin at anybody.

'Hi,' said a voice towards the side of the road.

Sam was sitting on a bench next to the bus stop. She'd turned to look at Janet and brought up a hand to shade her eyes from the sun.

'Uh, hi,' said Janet and turned and began to walk towards home.

She heard Sam get up from the bench and run to catch up with her. Her feet were bare, but she at least had on baggy jeans and a shirt.

'You've got clothes,' Janet said.

'Yeah, took them from a washing line.'

'What're you doing here?'

'Well I was pretending to wait for a bus,' Sam said, glancing back, 'but mostly I was waiting for you. I knew you had to be around somewhere. Are you okay?'

'Yes,' Janet said, wrapping her arms around herself.

'You don't look okay.'

Janet slowed down a little and breathed more slowly. 'I've just got things to think about.'

'What happened?'

'Billy's sister, er,' Janet started.

'Wait...um, Janice?' Sam said.

'You know about Janice?'

'You've told me about her, in the future.'

'Oh, right,' Janet said. 'What did I tell you?'

'That she kissed you.'

'Yeah, she did,' Janet said. 'Did I tell you anything else?'

'That it gave you a lot to think about.'

'Duh,' Janet replied.

Sam grinned and kept quiet for a few steps.

'I'm not gay,' Janet said.

'Okay,' replied Sam.

'I like Billy.'

'Okay,' Sam said again.

'Just because I liked kissing Janice doesn't make me gay.'

'Okay,' Sam said yet again.

'Now you're patronising me,' Janet said.

'I'm trying not to change the time line,' Sam said simply.

'You're changing everything just by being here,' Janet said.

'True, okay I'm trying not to change it much,' Sam conceded.

'Things must be pretty good if you don't want to make any changes.'

'Hmm,' Sam frowned, 'I think if I knew exactly what I was doing I might change some things, but the smallest changes might have huge impacts on the time line.'

'I think I'd change some things,' Janet said. 'Try and make the world better.'

'Some things aren't worth jeopardising,' Sam said simply.

'This is me,' Janet said, pointing to her house. 'I think my parents are in.'

'I'll go pretend to wait for a bus again,' Sam said, with a gentle smile. 'Good luck with the thinking.'

'Thanks,' Janet said distractedly.

XXXX

There was a slight thump and when Janet turned round there was a naked woman in the middle of the room she shared with another first year medical student, except, of course for the black bracelet around her wrist.

'Hey Sam,' she said when she recognised the figure. Sam just looked at her and fell to her knees and then her hands in the middle of the floor.

Janet jumped up from the desk and ran over, grabbing the quilt from the foot of her single bed to throw it over Sam.

'Hey Sam,' she said quietly as the woman's arms wobbled. 'What's wrong?'

'Tired,' murmured Sam.

'C'mon,' Janet said, she took firm hold of Sam's upper arms to try and move her to the bed. It wasn't easy. Sam tried to help her, but her legs struggled to support her weight. Janet resorted to pulling Sam's arm over her shoulders, not caring about the nudity in her attempts to move someone seven inches taller than herself. She dumped Sam onto the bed and readjusted the quilt over her.

'What's wrong?'

'Very tired,' Sam repeated. She looked thin and wasted and her breathing was shallow.

There was a bang from the door and Janet's room mate walked in. 'Woah,' she said, 'What's up with her.'

'She's not very well.'

'Good job she wandered into our room,' her room mate joked before grabbing a jacket and leaving again.

Janet watched her go and shook her head. She noticed that Sam had slid her hand out from under the quilt and taken hold of hers.

'Sam, I don't think this time travelling thing is good for you.'

Sam didn't reply. Janet began to wonder about calling an ambulance or help, or something, 'Do you need help? Should I get a Doctor?'

Sam didn't reply, but when Janet tried to pull her hand back Sam gripped it more tightly.

'Don't leave me Janet,' she muttered, 'Don't leave me.'

'I need to get help,' she told her.

'No, don't, don't leave me,' Sam sounded close to tears. She opened her eyes and looked desperately at Janet, 'Don't leave me.'

'Okay, I won't,' Janet reassured her gently. She brought her other hand up and patted Sam's gently.

Sam closed her eyes and relaxed a little, but still kept hold of Janet's hand. Janet shifted a little on the floor so that she was kneeling rather than crouching and looked at Sam, not knowing what to do. The tears that had filled Sam's eyes had gathered on her eye lashes and there were extremely dark circles underneath her eyes. Her breathing still wasn't great.

Janet jumped when Sam suddenly opened her eyes again, 'It's killing me Janet. Every time I move in time it takes a little more from me. I don't know how much longer I can do this.' She braced herself as if against pain and squeezed Janet's hand again. 'You have to get this thing off me.'

'Okay, I will,' Janet said, just wanting to reassure her, but not knowing how she might go about removing the band. She didn't even get a chance to try as Sam dissapeared soundlessly right in front of her leaving just the quilt on the bed and the lingering warmth in Janet's hand.

XXXX

The night had been long, wonderful, but long nontheless and as she climbed up the stairs to her apartment Janet had to pause on the stairs, only partly because she was tired and mostly because she was tipsy.

She heard the engine rev at the bottom of the stairs as her boyfriend, no fiance now, pulled away in order to find a parking space somewhere within walking distance of the apartment building, if he was lucky. She couldn't wait to move somewhere with a driveway. She reached her front door and began to rummage in her pockets for the keys that she knew were in there somewhere.

She found them, opened the door and tripped over nothing in particular getting into the apartment. She giggled slightly, reached for the lightswitch and nearly had a heart attack when someone walked out of the bedroom.

'Hi,' Sam said, with a slight wave. She'd already taken care of the clothing thing with a pair of Mike's sweatpants and a t shirt and she was walking, which was a distinct improvement on the last time Janet had seen her in her first year at medical school.

'I just borrowed some clothes,' Sam explained during Janet checking her over. 'I hope you don't mind.'

'No, not at all, um, hello, sit down,' Janet said all in one and wandered over to the sofa and collapsing onto her herself. 'You're okay?'

'Yes,' Sam said. 'I think so anyway.'

'Last time I saw you you weren't.'

'When was that?'

'My first year at College. You appeared in my dorm room.'

'I don't remember that, It must not have happened yet.'

Janet groaned, 'And I thought tequila gave me a headache.'

'You look good Janet.'

'Thanks! I feel drunk, but good too. I've graduated med school, I'll be a full Doctor before too long and I got engaged.' She held up her hand with the ring on and beamed at Sam.

'Engaged?' Sam said with surprise and then relaxed again, as if she'd remembered something. 'Of course, engaged. Congratulations Janet.'

Janet frowned at her, not knowing what to make of Sam's reaction, 'I'm not married to Mike in the future?'

'I'm not saying.'

'I am married to Mike in the future?'

'I'm not saying.'

'At least tell me I'm still a Doctor in the future, I wouldn't have wanted to go through medical school all for nothing.'

Sam didn't say anything, but Janet saw the corners of her eyes twitch and was reassured that, even if Sam hadn't said it, she was still a Doctor at whatever point in time Sam had appeared from.

'You asked me to get your bracelet off, the last time I saw you, which hasn't happened yet for you,' Janet said, frowning as she tried to get events straight in her slightly alcohol addled brain.

Sam held up the hand with the bracelet on and looked at it thoughtfully, 'It has to be what's sending me through time, or at least the piece of it that remains with me whereever I go, unlike my underwear.'

'What would happen if I managed to remove it here?'

'Well, I might be returned to my initial point in time, or I might remain at this point in time, I don't know.'

'I'm not sure I want to take the risk.'

'I must have been pretty desperate if I'd asked you,' Sam said, turning her wrist around again, examining the bracelet.

'You weren't in a good state. I don't think time travel is good for you.'

'I am getting tired, I'm beginning to feel a little stretched thin.'

'You could nap on the couch, until you, you know, disappear again.'

'Thank you,' Sam said.

There was the sound of footsteps approaching the door and Janet looked a little sluggishly towards the noise. It was Mike, as she'd expected and she smiled at him from the sofa.

'Hi, um, a friend stopped by unexpectedly.'

Mike looked at Sam and then back at Janet, 'Um, hi, I'm Mike, Janet's fiance.'

'Hi, I'm Sam,' Sam said, giving him a small wave.

'Sam might need to stay over night, but she'll be gone by morning and she won't get in our way,' Janet explained, aware that they'd both been expecting some intimate time that night after celebrating their engagement and she didn't want to dissapoint him.

'Okay, I gotta piss,' Mike said gruffly, wandering past them with a dirty glance at Sam.

Janet looked to Sam for some comment on Mike, but she was silent and had wrapped her arms around herself.

'He's much sweeter when you get to know him.'

'You don't need to defend him Janet,' Sam said and gestured to the bedroom. She didn't look at her and drummed her fingers on the edge of the couch. 'I'm not so tired anymore, I might go walk until I disappear again.'

'In bare feet?'

Sam shrugged, 'Maybe.'

Janet looked after Mike and shrugged, she had a fiance to soothe and what Sam did was up to her.

'Night Sam,' she said, getting up and going into the bedroom to wait for Mike to join her. He did after a few minutes, but while Janet sat on the bed expectantly Mike wandered around the room getting undressed and moving things.

'What's up?' She asked after it became clear he wasn't going to say anything first.

'Your friend Sam.'

'Yes?'

'She was wearing my sweatpants and t shirt.'

'Yes, she had a clothing crisis.'

'She was naked you mean. Someone else was naked in my apartment with my fiancee. What were you doing?'

'She just needed a change of clothes,' Janet said, holding up her hands in a placatory and defensive gesture and wishing she was sober. 'All we were doing was chatting. Like I said, she's a friend, she had a crisis. She'll be gone in a few minutes.'

'Yeah, because I came in. If I hadn't found a parking space so quick, I know what you would have been doing.'

'Continuing to chat,' Janet said in the most patient voice she could manage. 'Look, I'm as fully clothed as I was when I got out of the car and there wasn't time anyway, when did you think we managed to do anything?'

Mike paced the floor a few steps in his boxer shorts. Janet got up off the bed and put a hand onto his arm to stop him. 'I love you Mike and only you, forever and always.' She held up the finger with the ring on, 'That's what this means. David Hasselhoff could have been naked in my living room and I'd still have been waiting for you to come up the stairs.'

Mike grunted, but he'd at least stopped pacing. He looked at her and took hold of the hand to look at the ring. 'You said yes,' he said quietly. 'I was scared you'd say no.'

'Of course I said yes,' Janet said, relieved that his anger seemed to have dissipated. She went up on her tiptoes to kiss him. 'Now, come to bed.'

XXXX

Janet propped the box of books up onto her hip and reached for the handle for the back door. The box slipped slightly against her hip and she had to juggle it. She was hardly looking out the door when she stepped out and nearly walked straight into Sam, who was wrapped in a tarp and looking cold on her doorstep.

Janet jumped slightly, swore and dropped the box of books.

'Um, hi?' Sam hazarded, peering out from inside the tarp.

'Your timing sucks, but come in,' Janet said, retrieving the box and stepping out of the way to allow Sam in.

'What's up?' Sam asked as she stepped into the small hallway of the house and looked at the boxes and bags waiting.

Janet didn't reply right away. She hurried into the back of the house and returned with a sweater, sweatpants and some old trainers, which she handed to Sam.

'I'm moving out,' she explained with a gesture to the boxes. Sam shed the tarp and got dressed in lightening speed. 'Things didn't work out with Mike.' She folded her arms, expecting some reaction from Sam that indicated that she knew this was going to happen.

'Mike?' Sam asked as she tied the string of the sweatpants at the waist.

'My husband,' Janet said, putting her head on one side and frowning at Sam.

'Oh, yeah,' Sam said distractedly, 'You never told me his name.'

'You met him. Last time I saw you, you met him,' Janet said.

'Um, that must not have happened for me yet.'

'I hate time travel,' Janet said with a sigh.

'Me too, or whatever this is.'

'Always got an open mind, huh? Well, since you're here and appear to be fine, you can help me move this stuff to the car.'

'I wasn't fine before?'

'Sometimes you've been fine, sometimes not. I think it takes something out of you every time,' Janet explained.

Sam frowned slightly in thought as she picked up one of the boxes and took them out to the car. Mike's old trainers were slightly too large and she had to scuff her feet slightly to keep them on, but it was better than walking on the cold ground.

'You knew it wasn't going to work out,' accused Janet as she loaded things into her car. 'The last time I saw you you knew, but you didn't say anything.'

'I was probably trying to preserve the time line.'

'You keep saying that. What about preserving me from unnessesary hardship? Why isn't that on your list of priorities?'

Sam looked up at the sky and Janet watched some of the muscles of her face move as she thought.

'I want to,' she said quietly, 'but I don't know what effect it will have.'

'What're if you're suppossed to do something and you don't because you're so busy trying to preserve the timeline.'

'I don't know!' Sam snapped. 'I'm just trying to find my way here, I don't know what's going on, all I know is I keep appearing at different points in your life butt naked and confused.'

'Why my life?'

'I think you're connected, to the device that's doing this, but it's all very confusing and some of my memory is a little fuzzy.'

Janet shoved the box into the car roughly and returned to the house to retrieve what else there was to take with her. She heard Sam sigh and then follow her, picking up more boxes and loading the few bags into the car with her.

They worked in silence until the car was loaded and Janet shut and locked the front door behind her. She posted the keys through the letter box and looked at Sam.

'I know you won't tell me if I ask you, but I hope this is for the best,' she said slightly bitterly.

Sam looked hurt, but Janet didn't care. She got into the drivers side of the car and gestured at Sam to get into the passenger seat.

'Well, you can't exactly stay here,' she told her.

Sam folded herself into the passenger seat of Janet's small car and fastened her seatbelt in silence.

'Did I tell you about Mike, in the future?' Janet asked as she pulled off the drive.

'Yes,' Sam said simply examining her fingers.

'Did I tell you he hit me?' Janet asked, watching Sam carefully in her peripheral vision for her reaction.

'Yes,' Sam muttered.

'And you let me marry him.'

'I know,' Sam said, barely above a whisper.

Janet let a beat pass and then she said, 'I hit him back of course.'

Sam gave her a weak smile, 'I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through that.'

'I didn't have to, that's my point.'

'You did. Look, the person I am friends with in the future has to go through everything that she went to in order to become that person. Therefore you have to go through everything that she did to make sure that you become that person. There are decisions that you make that are informed by events and you have to still make them. I need you there and I need you.'

'I'd still be me if Mike hadn't take a swing at me,' Janet said quietly.

'But where would it stop? I'd save you every hurt and heartache if I could, but I can't risk it,' There was a lot of emotion in her voice and Janet had to sigh quietly.

'Okay,' she said quietly with a smile at Sam. 'I'll take my licks, if you tell me it's worth it.'

Sam reached and put her hand over Janet's on the gear stick. She gave it a squeeze, 'It's worth it.'

XXXX

Janet's shallow sleep was disturbed by shouting. She had time to roll over before someone opened the room to the on call door and said her name again.

'Mm up,' Janet said, moving to sit up on the bed and rub her face.

'There's a woman, she's not a patient, but she's in a bad way and she needs help.'

Janet had already slid her shoes back onto her feet and was following the intern out of the office.

'I'm getting too old for this,' she told the young woman and got a slight smile for it.

'So, not a patient? What's she doing in the base hospital?'

'We don't know,' the intern said. 'She was just suddenly there in the corridor, naked and in a bad way.'

'Naked?'

The intern nodded, 'And she asked after you.'

'Oh boy,' Janet said, picking up her pace.

She was right. It was Sam who was now on a spare bed on the ward. Janet hurried over to her and looked at the nurse.

'Pulse is steady, but slow and weak. Breathing is shallow, she's awake and responsive, but is confused and disorientated,' the nurse reported. 'I've called security.'

'She won't be a danger,' Janet said. 'Go cancel security.' She picked up Sam's hand and looked at her, 'Sam, I don't know how to help you Sam. You need to tell me how to help you.'

Sam moved her other hand up to pull the mask off her face and cracked one eye to look at Janet. Her eyes were sunken, but she focussed on her and there was a twitch of a smile.

'How do I fix this Sam?' Janet asked.

'Power,' Sam muttered, 'power.'

'That doesn't mean anything to me Sam,' Janet said, squeezing her hand.

Sam didn't respond. Janet grabbed her pen torch and pulled up an eye lid.

'She's lost conciousness, get me a...' she started the order, but Sam dissapeared from in front of them.

'Woah,' said the intern.

'What?' asked Janet, trying to think fast.

'She just disappeared!' the intern said.

'Disappeared? People don't just disappear, are you okay?'

'I'm fine, she just disappeared.'

'I didn't see anyone disppear.'

XXXX

'Night,' Janet said to the last friend to get out of her car at the end of the night. Designanted driver wasn't a fun job, but it was her turn. She pulled the car away from the curb and nearly knocked over Sam who'd appeared in the street. She slammed her breaks on, pulled the handbrake on and was out of the car before Sam had stopped blinking at the headlights.

She ran around the car to grab Sam's shoulder and looked at her.

'God, are you okay?'

Sam blinked, 'Um, yes.'

Janet hugged her tightly and Sam patted her on the back and then hugged her back.

'Are you okay?'

'Yes, the last time I saw you you were dying Sam. You were dying,' Janet said. 'And I couldn't save you.'

'Dying?' Sam asked, pulling back from the hug and looking down at Janet.

'You appeared in my hospital; you were incredibly weak,' She pulled her coat off and swung it over Sam's shoulders. Sam pulled it around her with a smile of thanks. 'We've already established that it's the time travel thing, but I don't know how to stop it, or what to do. You've mentioned the bracelet before and power.'

'I don't know either,' Sam said. 'I'd need to look at the device that is causing this, but that's in the future.'

'C'mon,' Janet said, gesturing to her car.

They both climbed into the car and Janet starting driving towards home once again.

After they'd gone a little way Sam said, 'Really dying?'

'Really dying.'

'Crap, I thought this was annoying, but I just needed to ride it out until someone fixed it.'

'No, I think each time you move through time it takes something out of you that you can't get back. You need to find a way to get loose from this device.'

'Yeah,' Sam held her hand up and looked at the bracelet. 'I don't know where to start.' She put her hand back down and put it onto Janet's knee. She gave it a squeeze.

'So, am I on track?' Janet asked.

'Huh?'

'To being the Janet you need me to be in the future.'

Sam frowned at her slightly, but then smiled and nodded, 'Seem to be.'

'Oh good,' Janet teased in an overly jovial tone. She looked at Sam's hand still on her knee and glanced at her on the passenger seat.

'We're more than friends aren't we?'

Sam looked at her blankly, playing dumb.

'Wherever you're from, we're more than friends. We're in a relationship.'

Sam nodded and answered quietly, 'Yeah.'

'So I must have left the airforce, right?'

Sam opened her mouth, but then closed it again, not answering. She frowned.

'You don't have to tell me,' Janet said with a slight smile, 'I'm speculating.'

'Thanks,' Sam replied quietly. She squeezed Janet's knee again.

They drove in silence for a few more minutes and then Janet's coat crumpled emptily into the passenger seat.

XXXX

'It's right this way Ma'am,' the Airman said with a gesture when the elevator stopped and the doors opened.

'Thank you,' Airman, she said, stepping out and into the dull grey corridor.

'I'll escort you Ma'am, these corridors are a maze.'

She gave him a grateful smile. Even just getting down to the right level on the elevator had been an obstacle course of security check points and tunnels and she was thankful for any help she could get at this stage of her first day.

She followed the airman down the corridor and stopped when someone came out of a door and turned to go in the same direction. She'd only caught a glimpse of the other woman's face and then the back of her head, but she'd seen enough.

'Sam?' she called after the woman, hurrying slightly to catch up with her.

The woman turned, looking at her blankly, 'Do I know you?'

'It's me, Janet,' she said.

'Janet,' Sam repeated slowly. 'Oh yes, Doctor Janet Fraiser right? I heard the new Chief Medical Officer was starting today.'

'Yes,' Janet said, her mind reeling. Sam was clothed and she didn't know her, this must have been the actual point in time they were supposed to meet. 'It's good to be here.'

'Captain Samantha Carter,' the other woman said, holding out her hand. Janet shook it, looking at a confident Sam for the first time, Sam in her element and without the black wristband on her wrist.

'Pleasure to meet you,' Janet said.

'Look, I have a briefing to get to, but we should get lunch some time or something. There aren't enough women on this base and I get tired of the guys sometimes.'

'I look forward to it,' Janet said.

Sam gave her a quick smile and returned to hurrying down the corridor to the briefing she mentioned.

Janet watched her for a second and then looked for her escort, who was hovering by her shoulder.

'This way Airman?' she asked.

She wondered if this was the 'it' that Sam had been talking about being worth it, the Janet she was needing to be.

XXXX

They managed lunch, eventually, after Janet's settling in period had included a baptism of fire. She'd already encountered Sam several times before they managed to coordinate a simple meal between pre and post mission medicals and, of course, strapping her down to a gurney after she'd gone caveman along with most of the base.

She'd been concerned that Sam would be embarassed, but the Airforce Captain had been unbothered by it and the conversation was easy. She'd even managed to joke about it, which had been a relief for Janet.

Janet concentrated on not letting on that she knew Sam already and, well, just enjoying herself.

They called their first date a girls night out, but the name didn't stop Janet jumping Sam on her doorstep.

It was a secret, of course, but Janet was good at secrets by now.

XXXX

Then Cassie arrived and Janet suddenly found herself way out of her depth, but it all worked somehow. Underneath all the terror of parenting a traumatised young girl and working in one of the most unpredictable, but fantastic places on the planet, it worked.

One evening, in a brief window where Cassie had fallen asleep, but hadn't started having nightmares; Sam was standing behind Janet embracing her and they were both watching Cassie sleep, Janet knew without a doubt that this, was it. This was everything that Sam had cryptically promised her so long ago.

XXXX

'Hmm, I thought you had something to finish?' Janet asked when she felt pressure on the edge of the bed.

'I don't,' Sam said and Janet rolled over to look at her.

She was naked, sitting on the edge of the bed and even in the dim light of the bedroom Janet could see the dark circles under her eyes. Janet clocked the wrist band and gave a nod of recognition.

'Haven't seen you in a while.'

'I've been in other times,' Sam said. She reached out and smoothed Janet's hair back from her face. Janet thought she could see tears in Sam's eyes and reached out to put a hand on her cheek gently.

'Not my past this time,' Janet said and Sam shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut and causing the tears to spill down her cheeks.

'Shush,' Janet said in a whisper, 'You can't know you're here.'

Sam gave a slightly gulping half laugh and wiped the tears from her face.

'C'mere,' Janet said simply, sitting up properly to pull Sam into a tight embrace. She cradled the back of her head and shushed the woman as she clung to her tightly and stifled the sobs against Janet's shoulder.

Until she disappeared again.

XXXX

'We might need the Doc's help on this one, Carter can't feel her arm,' Colonel O'Neill reported over the radio link.

'Is Major Carter in any danger?' General Hammond asked.

'Vitals are all good. She's fine except for the bit where this machine has trapped her and her arms gone numb.'

'We'll send a medical team through, just to be on the safe side.'

'Yes Sir,' Colonel O'Neill responded.

XXXX

'What've we got?' Janet asked as she walked through the alien warehouse full of strange artefacts. The dust lay over everything in a thick layer and most things appeared to be broken. Still, they were walking through a potential treasure trove of alien technology.

'One foolish Major over here,' Colonel O'Neill said, leading the way between the dusty shelves.

They walked through the warehouse until they reached a room off the main one. Inside it there was a black sphere, with a small doorway in it. The Colonel gestured to the doorway and Janet crouched to walk inside.

Sam was inside, standing up with her arm dissapearing into a hole in the sphere and looking embarassed. Janet stood up and looked at her.

'One foolish Major,' Colonel O'Neill pointed out from the doorway. 'See if this thing's doing any damage to her Doctor and then maybe we can work out a way to get her out.'

'It's the only thing in this place that's got any power,' Sam explained. 'I thought this might be a control, but it trapped me.'

Janet dropped her bags and went to peer into the hole where Sam's arm was trapped. 'You said your arms numb?'

Sam nodded, 'I think I'm just trapped though.'

Janet felt her way down Sam's forearm feeling for where it was trapped.

'There's something around my wrist,' Sam said.

Janet felt the cuff that had encircled Sam's wrist, and the joystick control that she had been reaching for. There was another one next to it and when Janet grabbed hold of it something sprang out of the edge of the hole and fastened tightly around Janet's wrist.

'Crap,' Janet said.

Sam looked at her, wide eyed for a second and then and dissapeared completely, her clothes, weapons and gear falling into a pile at their feet.

'Colonel!' Janet called.

Colonel O'Neill's face appeared in the doorway and blinked in surprise.

'Where'd Carter go?'

'I don't know Sir,' Janet said, 'but now I'm stuck as well.'

The Colonel frowned and ducked in through the entrance to enter the sphere.

Janet thought for a moment and then put her hand into the hole as well to feel the joystick that Sam had been holding onto. The black cuff that had been around her wrist was missing.

'Erm, I think Sam might be being flung through time, Sir.'

Colonel O'Neill was quiet for a long moment as he looked at the machine, but then he spoke, 'Wait, what?'

'When I was a little girl I saw Sam, Sam as she is now, and then when I was a little older and again throughout my life. She said she was being flung through time by some device. Obviously she couldn't give me details, well, because she's Sam.' Janet inhaled and exhaled. 'She was always naked except for a black wristband around her wrist, very similar to the one that latched around her wrist in this machine.'

Colonel O'Neill was quiet again for a long moment before he spoke and asked, 'Wait, what?'

XXXX

Janet shifted on her feet. She was used to hours on her feet, but standing in one place with her arm stuck into the machine was beginning to get sore.

'So Sam has appeared throughout your life, always the same Sam?' Daniel asked from the doorway into the sphere.

'Yes,' Janet said.

'You never mentioned this to anyone?'

'Until I worked here I wouldn't have ever thought anyone would believe me and by then I knew I had a responsibility to preserve the timeline. Sam drummed that into me.'

'Sounds like Carter,' Colonel O'Neill said. 'She ever tell you how to stop this thing? To get her back?'

Janet shook her head, 'I don't think she knows. She said she needed to get the wristband off. The time travelling really took it out of her. She was confused and I don't think she had any more of an idea than any of us.'

'But the wristbands with her, right?' Daniel asked.

'Perhaps we could shut down the device?' Teal'c suggested. 'It must be connected to a power supply, or have a power source.'

'Good idea,' Colonel O'Neill said. Ducking to exit the sphere after Daniel and Teal'c, presumably to hunt out the power supply.

'Power,' Janet whispered to herself, wondering why the word seemed important.

XXXX

'Any luck Sir?' Janet asked as footsteps went past the doorway yet again. They'd got a science team checking out the device as well now, but there hadn't been any luck so far. Colonel O'Neill ducked into the sphere and stood up. He wandered around the small space inside the sphere, looking around.

'Seen anything that looks like a battery, maybe says Duracell on it?' He asked.

'No Sir,' Janet shifted on her feet again, getting increasingly anxious. Sam had been gone for hours now, and she remembered her lying on a bed in a hospital, her pulse weak.

'She had to have said something? Sam's the one who could work this out,' Colonel O'Neill said.

'She's going to be really weak when we get her back Sir,' Janet said, keeping her voice steady with more will power than she thought she had left. 'Could you hand me my bag.'

Colonel O'Neill slid the pack across the floor to her and continued scouring the inside of the sphere.

'Why is the off switch so hard to find?' He muttered, searching all over again. Janet had lost count of how many times he'd searched already.

'Or the power source?' he muttered.

'Power,' Janet whispered again, prodding at a memory.

'Overload,' she exclaimed suddenly. 'We should overload the circuits and force a shut down.'

The Colonel turned to look at her, with a slight frown, 'Will that work?'

'Sam thought that power was the key, if we can't turn it off we need to force it to turn itself off,' she said.

'And you? You're trapped in this thing.'

'I don't know,' Janet admitted with a shrug and looked into the hole where her arm was trapped again. 'I think it's worth a shot.'

The Colonel made a small noise and ducked out of the doorway to consult with Daniel and Tealc'. Janet shifted again and tugged at her arm ineffctually.

There was the sound of quiet discussion outside the sphere and then Colonel O'Neill's face appeared in the doorway.

'We're going to try it Doc, brace yourself,' he said.

'Okay,' Janet whispered to herself and did indeed try to brace herself.

It wasn't enough. When Teal'c shot the sphere with his zat the power of the blast transferred to her. She felt her legs buckle and her trapped arm hurt when her weight swung off it. She bit back the cry of pain from the blast and from her arm.

'Doc?' The Colonel called from the doorway. 'Any sign of Carter?'

There wasn't.

Janet gasped slightly. 'Do it again,' she said.

'Second blast kills,' The Colonel told her, 'You know that.'

'If we don't get Sam back she'll die,' Janet told him.

He dissapeared from the doorway again and Janet let out the gasp of pain she'd been holding back. She heard a slight whine from the machine and looked up and around the inside of the sphere. The whine began to increase in pitch.

'Colonel,' she called as loudly as she could, but not as loudly as she wanted to.

His head appeared again, looking in, 'Sounds like an overload.'

Janet pushed herself up to her knees to take some of the weight off her arm. She put her free arm over her head and braced herself as the whine increased in pitch further.

Something exploded and showered Janet in sparks. She felt points of pain as the sparks burned through the sleeve of her uniform.

There was another explosion and chunks of hot metal blew from the top of the sphere and rained down on Janet. Her arm offered some protection, but at least one chunk caught her on the forehead. The controls under Janet's hand and the wristband around her wrist began to get hot, Janet tugged at them again as the heat began to increase, feeling herself begin to panic.

Sam popped into existance on the floor of the sphere. The wristband clattered off her wrist and released Janet's at the same time.

Janet pulled her trapped arm into her chest and crawled across to Sam, who'd crumpled to the floor of the sphere. She reached for her with her good arm and put her fingers to her pulse. She reached for her bag, grabbing for her gear, but everything around her wobbled.

She felt a hand on her upper arm and looked up to see Colonel O'Neill grabbing hold of her and supporting her.

'We got her,' he said, his voice sounding like it was coming from far away. Janet slumped to the floor, cradling her arm to her chest and concentrated on breathing as she watched a member of her medical team crowd into the device to administer first aid to Sam.

She watched Sam, focussing on the fact that she was back and she was still breathing.

XXXX

Janet lingered in the infirmary after she'd been discharged and slipped behind the curtains around Sam's bed.

She was hooked up to wires and an IV, but she was alive and awake.

'Hey Sam,' Janet whispered, sliding her hand underneath Sam's where it lay on the blanket.

'You,' Sam started, her voice shaky and weak. 'I saw you.'

'Yeah,' Janet replied. 'I know you did.'

'It was real?'

'Yeah, now you should rest.'

Sam smiled slightly, 'Thank you.'

Janet kissed the back of her hand lightly, 'Now sleep.'

'Yes Doc.'

She waited until Sam's breathing evened out and then left to go rest herself, as she'd been ordered to.

XXXX

Daniel was in the infirmary when Janet came back in the morning, sitting by Sam's bed and reading a book.

Sam was awake and picking at some kind of breakfast on the table on front of her. She looked pale, tired and there were dark circles under her eyes, but she managed to smile weakly at Janet as she walked over.

'Morning,' she said and picked up Sam's chart to check her last vitals.

Daniel put aways his book and got up with a cough, but Janet put a hand up to him, 'Relax, I'm not on duty, just nosy.'

'Ah,' Daniel said, sitting back down again.

Janet returned the chart to the end of Sam's bed.

'You could just ask me how I'm feeling,' Sam suggested with a smile.

'How're you feeling?' Janet said innocently.

'Tired, but getting there,' Sam said. 'I think I could sleep for a week.'

'So what happened?' Daniel asked. 'Where did you go, Janet said something about time travel.'

'Sam appeared at different points in my past,' Janet explained.

'That was real?' Sam asked.

Janet nodded, 'The first time I saw you I was building a sandcastle in my back garden and you were in a rhodedendron bush.'

'Sam actually appeared in your past?' Daniel asked, getting to his feet again.

Janet nodded, 'The first time I saw her I was four years old. I saw her several times between then and now.'

Daniel's eyebrows were threatening to head towards orbit, 'So you knew this was going to happen?'

'Not exactly, Sam didn't exactly know what was going on. She worked some stuff out, but I didn't know until it happened.'

'Huh,' Daniel said with a slight shake of his head. He glanced at his watch, 'I've got a meeting. I'll be back later.'

'Thank you Daniel,' Sam said quietly.

He smiled at her and left the infirmary. Sam abandoned her breakfast and relaxed back into the pillows. 'I think I might sleep again.'

'Sounds like a good idea,' Janet said, taking Daniel's vacated seat.

'Is it worth it?' Sam asked, looking at her oddly. 'All the hardships, all the secrets, everything.'

'It is,' Janet said with a nod.

Sam closed her eyes for a second and a look of pain passed across her face, 'I don't think I was restricted to just the past. I think,' she sounded like she was going to go on, but Janet held up a hand to stop her.

'Don't tell me,' Janet told her. 'Whatever you saw, don't tell me. We'll face it when we get there, whenever it is.'

'Okay,' Sam said gently.

'And you should sleep,' Janet said.

'Okay,' agreed Sam, still looking at her. She shifted slightly on the bed and settled down.

'I'll be here when you wake up,' Janet reassured her. 'No dissapearing.'

Sam smiled and closed her eyes.